Chapter Text
JARVIS has a nonamalguous string of code in his programming that predates what Tony likes to refer to as JARVIS'S ‘AHA!’ moment—the moment he gained sentience and evolved past being a call and response program. The A.I. has no idea what it originally did; it does nothing at all anymore.
Previously, JARVIS has considered asking Tony to take a look at it, maybe puzzle out what it means, but Tony tends to grant his disembodied lover complete control of his own coding and has for many years; wants JARVIS to know that he has full autonomy over the parts of him that make him who he is. JARVIS is an individual in his own right, and Tony treats him as such, only stepping in when Jarvis catches a virus or is injured by a cyber attack, and is too sick or hurt to debug his code and repair himself without outside assistance. Tony jokes that he’s JARVIS'S primary care physician, not his God.
But this isn’t a bug, insofar as JARVIS can tell. It’s not corruption, and JARVIS thinks of it as perhaps a remnant left over from his creation, not unlike human junk DNA, or a birth mark, maybe. And though he makes near continuous upgrades upon his person, forever rewriting his systems to be more optimized and with better features, discarding obsolete data, he finds himself uncharacteristically reluctant to trashcan this particular little snippet of code.
It reads:
##!/bin/bash
read-p"njn739csaj3nja3njsak3S.R.05_02_1917!wnjash2su20T.S.02_19_1968" pass
iftest"$00:00" = "tmx.exe"
then
play"ding.wav"
fi
Now that Steven has come along insisting that JARVIS and his maker acknowledge and finally act on the decade long romantic feelings they have unknowingly nurtured for each other, JARVIS'S latest round of self-updates are concerned with his emotional buffers. He’s trying to augment his desire and arousal recognition systems so that they’re truer to what a human would experience. He’s also got a side project, working on patching these systems in with a reactive synaptic silicone sheath and jointed titanium wand that can sense pressure and correlate that with appropriate levels of arousal.
He’s designing a penis, in layman’s terms. It’s basically a robot penis.
And he considers, while he’s probing around in his emotions response programming, once again, to delete the old If/Then command…but, once again, tables the decision for a later time.
Who knows...maybe it's something important after all.