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Language:
English
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Published:
2020-05-17
Updated:
2020-07-17
Words:
13,653
Chapters:
8/10
Comments:
21
Kudos:
51
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1,348

hold me while i molt

Summary:

The transition between high school and college is never easy. In Akaashi's case, it's full of anxiety, fuck ups, and regret. And to make matters worse, he's growing bird feathers.

Notes:

Welcome to Hold Me While I Molt! This is my first fan fiction in 5 years, so forgive me if I'm a bit rusty. The story is based on my senior project, which is a feature length screenplay of the same name, and very similar story, give or take a few changes. A lot of it stems from my personal college experiences as well, and it's very comforting to write out those experiences, much like the journal Akaashi keeps in the story.
I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Text

Late August is the best time of year. The temperature isn’t too hot, but it isn’t too cold either. The leaves are just barely beginning to change color, and the only time it’s cloudy is during a wonderfully warm thunderstorm. These are the things Akaashi Keiji thinks of as he walks towards his new home, a 12 story tall brick building with uniform windows and doors.

Rows of cars line the street in front of said building, people lacing in between them, carrying boxes and other furniture. Mothers, fathers, children, and the new college freshmen themselves pile into the building like ants, carrying items too heavy for them, and returning to grab more. Akaashi studies these people silently while in a line to get his room key. Compared to them, he has practically nothing- only a backpack and a suitcase. Being local means that he can visit his parents to grab anything he forgets or ends up needing, so what’s the point of bringing it all with him now? He’ll just need to buy bedding to fit the oddly proportioned mattresses. Akaashi makes a mental note to do so.

If it weren’t for his parents eager to move him, the youngest child, out of the house, Akaashi would’ve stayed with them, commuting to classes when need be. In the end he agreed with his mom that the experience would be good for him, and since he was here on scholarship anyways, it wouldn’t hurt his family. Akaashi sighs and moves up in line.

An older woman sits at the small table, constantly sifting through bins of small envelopes holding student IDs and room keys. Once it’s his turn, Akaashi can barely say his name.

“What?” the woman barks. Akaashi gulps before trying again. “Akaashi Keiji” he says, a bit louder this time. The woman rummages through the bin before finding an envelope with the matching name. “Keiji, right?”

Akaashi nods, taking the envelope once it’s extended to him, and leaves quickly.

Unfortunately leaving one line leads him to wait in another, since there’s only one elevator, and between the amount of people and boxes, it’s going to be a long wait. Akaashi checks the room number on his envelope. 541. He eventually decides to take the stairs to the fifth floor instead of waiting.

The hike up to his floor isn’t as grueling of a task as he thought it would be, however Akaashi was suddenly reminded that he wouldn’t be living alone. He would have a roommate just like every other student. And that roommate could very well have already claimed a bed and taken over space.

I’m here pretty early… maybe he hasn’t gotten here yet, Akaashi thinks to himself. Meeting a roommate is fine, but the last thing he wants is for his new roommate to have his entire family here sending him off-

Akaashi opens his door to a full house. Two children, a teenager, and what seems to be their mother are running around the room unpacking various things and checking out the amenities. The teenager is actually quite small, sporting gelled hair and athletic wear. He’s sprawled over one of the twin beds, trying to put on a fitted sheet, but failing. The commotion in the room comes to a stop, and the family looks over at Akaashi.

“Hey! You must be Akaashi!” the teenager exclaims, giving up on the bedsheet and standing up. He smiles wide and waves. “I’m Nishinoya- but most people call me Noya.”

Akaashi forces a slight smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The older woman- presumably Noya’s mother- shuffles her two younger children out of the way for Akaashi to set his things down.

“I hope you don’t mind, I already picked my side of the room,” Noya says, resuming his progress on making his bed.

“No, this is perfect, thank you.” Akaashi replies, looking at his bed and desk. At least one thing is going his way today, he got the side of the room next to the window. He unpacks his backpack, which carries his laptop, and a couple toiletries. His suitcase only has some clothes, however Noya’s mother and siblings are folding clothes and putting them in Noya’s dresser- which is right next to Akaashi’s. He makes a note to unpack his clothing later.

There’s nothing wrong with his roommate after his first impression, but he and his family seem to talk an octave louder than a normal one would, and Akaashi needs a little quiet. He grabs his wallet and tells Noya he’ll be back later, before slipping out of the room.

Once back in the lobby, Akaashi notices that the commotion has only gotten worse, and he assumes that the bookstore won’t be much different. He plugs in some earbuds and tries to drown out the noise. It’s not that effective.

The bookstore is exactly as he expected it to be, packed to the brim with students and family members looking for textbooks, stationary, and hoodies branded with “Fukurodani Academy”. Akaashi scans the stationary aisle and grabs a couple lined notebooks for class, along with the basic pens and highlighters. A blue leather journal catches his eye as he exits the aisle, and Akaashi studies it for a moment before picking it up and bringing it with him.

He picks out a bedding set, a plain white one, before heading to the textbooks. He only needs one- a short story anthology for his Literature class. Much to his dismay, the shelf is blocked by two men. Akaashi takes out his earbuds, and takes a deep breath in preparation for the feat that is simply asking them to move.

“Why does it have to be so expensive!” one of them shouts, pulling at his silver hair.
The other picks up one of the books and flips through the pages. “Shut up, my chemistry textbook is 200 dollars, this is nothing,” he says, picking up a second book and shoving it in the silver haired boy’s hands.

Akaashi clears his throat. “Excuse me-”

The two men turn to look at Akaashi at the same time and it startles him. “I just need to grab a book, sorry.” The men quickly apologize and step to each side of the shelf. Akaashi awkwardly approaches the shelf and grabs the book the two were arguing about just a few seconds earlier.

“I take it you’re in Literature 115?” the first man says. His hair is styled similarly to his silver haired friend, except it’s entirely jet black, and maybe a bit messier, like he just rolled out of bed. Akaashi nods. “Ah, same here, except I take it you’re a freshman?” he asks again. Akaashi agrees, and the other friend pipes up. “We’re sophomores, but we need a liberal arts class.”

Akaashi isn’t good at small talk, and plans to say something like “Cool, see you later,” and make his exit. But the boys have other plans.

“I’m Kuroo, and this is Bokuto.”

The two smile after the introduction, and Akaashi feels the need to reciprocate. He forces a smile before introducing himself. “Nice to meet you, I’m Akaashi.”

“Ah - kash - ee. Nice name!” The one known as Bokuto says. Akaashi swallows hard and turns on his heel to make his escape. “I guess I’ll see you guys in class on Monday.” he says, waving to the boys, who return the gesture. This college thing is already way too hard on him, it’s been a while since he’s had to meet new people without the safety of his more outgoing friends.

Akaashi checks out and begins the trek back to his room. The elevator line hasn’t gone down much, and students are flowing into the building at an even higher rate than they were an hour ago. Once on the fifth floor, Akaashi prepares himself for the noise and company of Nishinoya’s family. However, as a pleasant surprise, they’re not there.

Akaashi takes this time to unpack his clothes neatly, make his bed, and arrange his desk. He takes the leather journal he bought out and decides to use it as a way to write down his feelings, since he doesn’t exactly have anyone he can talk to about them. He throws a pen and the journal on his bed and begins to write.

August 26th

I moved in a couple hours ago and I already feel suffocated. I feel exhausted after talking to one new person, let alone several. I don’t want to make bad first impressions, but I keep getting anxious and feel like I’m fucking things up. Never mind the fact that I don’t know why I’m here in the first place, I guess I was pressured by teachers to pursue further education. I don’t even have a major. I think I already miss the comfort of home and high school.

Akaashi’s emotions flow from himself through the pen and on to the paper. There’s still so much that he’s hiding from himself and is too afraid to write down, and Akaashi knows this. His eyes are watering, and his throat is dry, so he sets the journal in a drawer, grabs a towel, and heads to the showers.

He lets the scalding hot water run over his skin as he chokes holding back tears.

 

 

 

Akaashi wakes up on Monday morning with an extremely itchy arm. Half awake, he tries to quell the sensation by, well, itching it. His fingers run over something soft. His shirt? No, he wore a short sleeve. He opens his eyes slightly but is greeted by the brightness of the morning. Of course he forgot to close his blinds. What was he waking up for again?

Akaashi glaces down at his forearm and sees a small white fluff at the point of the itch. He tries to brush it off, but it’s somehow connected to his skin. He clenches his teeth and plucks it, but it doesn’t hurt. Akaashi sits up and investigates the thing that he just took off his body. It looks like a down feather, and Akaashi checks his pillow. It’s not ripped, and even if it was, it definitely doesn’t have down feather filling. He takes his glasses out of his glasses case and replaces them with the feather to keep it safe for investigation later. Akaashi doesn’t have time to dwell on it any further.

Akaashi slips out of bed and takes great care to not wake Noya, who is sprawled messily on his bed, snoring. He’s sure Noya would be able to sleep through a fire alarm if their dorm were to have one right now, but Akaashi still keeps quiet. He takes his clothes to the bathroom, changes, and freshens up before grabbing his bag, phone, and keys.

He has a literature class to get to.