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“Buck, Eddie, what are you doing tonight?”
“Uh Chris is with Pepa and his cousins so I don’t have any plans.”
“Buckaroo?”
“I was going to Maddie’s for movie night, but since you’re asking Chim I’m assuming that whatever we’re doing, she’s gonna be there?”
“Right you are my friend. We’re going out tonight. Karaoke, so put your fancy pants on.”
“Fancy pants?” Eddie questioned as he walked away.
“I think he’s pre-drunk.”
“Did we get another batch of LSD brownies?”
“I don’t think so. He’s just in a strangely good mood.”
Buck and Eddie spent the rest of the shift speculating about the cause of Chim’s good mood. They’d narrowed it down to drugs and sex, the latter of which Buck didn’t want to think too much about since it was his sister he was having sex with. And if it wasn't then that was a seperate problem because Buck was going to have to kick some ass.
“Go home and get dressed boys,” Chim clapped them both on the back. “We’re celebrating tonight.”
“What exactly are we celebrating Chim?”
“We have some news, but we want everyone together for it.”
Buck raised an eyebrow at Eddie who just shrugged.
“Want me to pick you up?”
“Yeah sure.”
“I’ll be there at seven.”
“No you’ll be there at six forty five. You are perpetually early Edmundo.”
“Better than being perpetually late Evan.”
“Shut up. I’ll see you at six forty five.”
Buck gave him a salute out the window as he drove away. Eddie rolled his eyes at his dork of a partner and put his truck into gear.
*****
Eddie arrived at Buck’s apartment at six fifty just to spite him.
“Eddie Diaz is five minutes late,” Buck gasped and clutched his chest. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend.”
“I might have taken the long way here just to spite you.”
“Of course you did,” Buck rolled his eyes and stepped aside to let him in. “You live on spite.”
“Damn right. You almost ready?”
“Yeah, let me grab my jacket.”
Buck pulled his jacket from the coat closet and Eddie took a second to look him over. His jeans hugged his ass perfectly and his grey henley stretched across his broad shoulders in a way that was practically mouth watering.
He shook himself out of his trance as Buck turned to face him.
“You good?”
“Yeah sorry, just zoned out. We better get going, Chim will have our asses if we’re late.”
They arrived at the bar at the same time as Hen and Karen.
“Looking good boys,” Hen winked at them.
“You too ladies,” Buck blew them a kiss and hurried to join them, wrapping an arm around Hen’s shoulders.
Karen held an arm out to him and Eddie joined her, pressing a kiss to her temple.
“What do you think this big news Chim has is?” Buck questioned as they entered the bar.
Maddie spotted them and waved them over.
“Twenty bucks says Maddie is pregnant,” Hen said.
“You and your bets,” Hen rolled her eyes at her wife.
“I don’t know Hen. I don’t think Mads is ready for a baby yet.”
“We’ll see then.”
Buck pulled away from Hen to pull his sister into a hug.
“Hey Buck,” she kissed his cheek softly.
“Hey Mads, where’s Chim?”
“Getting drinks with Albert.”
“Albert is here?”
Buck had missed the younger man. He liked having someone closer to his age around.
“Hey guys,” Chim greeted as he and Albert set the drinks down on the table.
Albert gave Buck a quick side hug and received a clap on the back from Eddie.
“Are you guys doing karaoke?” he questioned as he passed them both a beer, then popped the cap on his own.
“That’s a negative from me,” Eddie laughed, taking a sip. “I sound like a cat being beat against a wall. Ask Chris, he actively asks me not to sing.”
“What about you Buck?”
“No way. No one wants to hear that.”
“What are you talking about Buck? You can sing,” Maddie looked at him confused as she took a sip of sparkling water.
“No Mads I can’t. I sing in the shower, where no one can hear.”
“Yeah dude I’ve heard you in the showers at the station, you’re not bad.”
“Chim the fact that you hang around in the showers long enough to hear me sing concerns me. But seriously, I think the acoustics in there are just good because I sound about as bad as Eddie.”
“Who told you you were a bad singer?” Eddie questioned.
“My dad did.”
“Of course,” Maddie grumbled.
His entire childhood, their father had squashed any dream or accomplishment Buck made, and apparently that had stuck with him into adulthood.
“Fine, if you think you’re so bad, get up there and sing with me. I’ll prove you wrong.”
“What? No way.”
“Do it Buck,” Karen encouraged.
“Come on, peer pressure,” Chim said.
“Eddie help me out here,” Buck turned to him with puppy dog eyes.
Luckily he’d spent the last five years learning to dodge Christopher’s so he was almost immune.
“Just try it Buck. If you suck, we’ll all move on and never talk about it again.”
“But I will get it on video.”
“Not helping Chim.”
“Please Buck.”
Buck was a sucker for his big sister’s pouty face so he sighed and stood.
“Fine, but I’m picking the song.”
Eddie could tell Buck was nervous by the way he was fidgeting when the music started, but when he started to sing all of their jaws hit the floor.
“Whoever told that boy he couldn’t sing was a damn lie,” Karen muttered.
“You’re telling me,” Eddie whispered back.
When Buck came back to the table everyone was silent.
“It was bad wasn’t it?”
“Evan Buckley you’re a fucking idiot.”
“What?”
“I agree with Eddie. Buck you’re good.”
“No I’m not.”
“Boy shut your mouth,” Hen said.
“Whatever,” Buck took a long sip of his beer.
Eddie could tell that all the attention on him was making him anxious so he tried to deflect.
“So Chim what’s your big announcement?”
Chim turned to Maddie with a grin, “Do you wanna tell them or should I?”
“You can tell them.”
“Well,” he took Maddie’s hand. “Buck you’re gonna be an uncle.”
Eddie could see the wheels turning as Buck took a second to catch up. When he did, his eyes welled with tears.
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m gonna be an uncle?”
“Yeah.”
Buck rushed forward and took his sister into his arms.
“I’m gonna be an uncle,” he whispered.
“Congratulations Chim,” Eddie pulled his friend into a hug.
“I know it’s kind early but Hen, will you be my baby’s godmother?”
“Chimney you’re going to make me cry,” she said as he gave him a hug.
“You okay over there Buck?” Eddie questioned.
“Yeah I’m good.”
He pulled away from his sister and wiped a tear from his cheek.
“How far along are you?” Eddie questioned.
“About eight or nine weeks. I found out super early.”
“So that’s why you’re drinking water,” Buck said. “I thought it was kind of weird. You almost always drink wine or something, but now I get it.”
“Hey Buck.”
Buck turned his attention to Hen who was looking at him with a shit eating grin.
“You owe me twenty bucks.”
*****
“I can’t believe Maddie is pregnant,” Buck said on the ride back to his apartment building.
“I’m happy for her. She deserves a real family after all the shit she’s been through.”
“Yeah,” Buck sounded dejected and Eddie looked at his friend in concern.
“I thought you’d be a little more excited. You’re gonna be an uncle.”
“I am excited. I’m really happy for her and Chim, but-” Buck cut himself off.
“But what?” Eddie encouraged.
He pulled into the parking lot of Buck’s building and they sat there in silence for a moment before Buck responded.
“It just feels like her leaving again. She has Chim and in a few months she’ll have a baby. Maddie has everything she needs and that doesn’t include me. No I don’t know where I fit in.”
“Buck Maddie is your sister. She’s always going to need you, just as much as you need her. Maddie starting a family of her own doesn’t mean she’s leaving you behind. It means she’s leaving the past behind. She finally feels safe enough to have a baby with the person she’s with. And that baby is going to need it’s Uncle Buck. Who else is going to teach them to be a little shit.”
Buck laughed, wiping a stray tear off his cheek.
“And you know you always have a place with me and Chris. As far as I’m concerned you’re a part of our family and I’m sure Chris would agree. You're his Buck.”
“Thanks Eddie. Do you want to come inside? We’re off tomorrow and I know it’s quiet at your place without Christopher.”
“Sure, I can stay for a little bit.”
Buck walked them up the stairs to his apartment. He gave Eddie first go at the only bathroom, loaning him some comfortable clothes to change into.
As he was surfing channels, waiting on Buck to come downstairs, his phone sounded with a call from Christopher. His son had texted him goodnight two hours earlier so the call could only mean one thing, nightmares.
“Hey buddy.”
“Daddy,” Christopher hiccupped.
“What’s wrong Chris?”
“I had a nightmare. I want you.”
“Hey calm down. Breathe with me okay?”
He helped Chris calm his breathing enough that he could speak in coherent sentences.
“I can come get you kiddo you know I will, but it’s gonna take me awhile to get there. And then you’ll miss the birthday party tomorrow. Do you want that?”
“I don’t wanna miss the party, but I’m scared.”
“I know buddy. You can stay on the phone with me until you’re not scared anymore.”
“Hey is everything okay?”
Buck had snuck up on him and way now standing next to him, curls damp from his shower, looking so soft and fluffy that Eddie almost couldn’t stand it.
“Is that Buck?”
“Yeah Buck is here. Do you want to talk to him?”
“Yes please.”
Eddie handed the phone to Buck.
“It’s Chris. He had a nightmare, wants to talk to you.”
Buck nodded, taking the phone and putting it on speaker.
“Hey kiddo.”
“Bucky. I miss you.”
“I miss you too. Daddy said you had a bad dream.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want us to come get you?”
“I don’t wanna miss the party tomorrow, but I’m scared to go to sleep.”
“You can stay on the phone as long as you need to. And if you decide you want us to come get you we will.”
Eddie loved how much Buck acted like a parent to Chris. Saying we, like he really was his other dad. And he practically was, they’d been coparenting since day one, almost without realizing it.
“Do you want to talk about your dream?”
“Nuh uh.”
“Is there something I can do to help you go back to sleep?”
“Can you sing? Mommy used to sing to help me sleep, but daddy can’t.”
“Yeah daddy has a crappy singing voice huh?”
“Hey,” Eddie called, making Chris giggle.
“Will you sing Bucky?”
“Yeah kiddo I’ll sing.”
He cleared his throat and began to sing softly.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away”
Christopher yawned on the other end of the line.
“You sound sleepy buddy. You think you can go to bed now?”
“I think so.”
“Okay kiddo. Try your best and if you can’t sleep you can call back.”
“Okay. Night Bucky, night Daddy I love you.”
“Goodnight kiddo,” Eddie said. “Sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight sunshine,” Buck replied before hanging up the phone.
He turned to hand it back to Eddie and he couldn’t resist. He cupped Buck’s face with his hands and kissed him gently.
Buck gasped before relaxing into the kiss. It was sweet and slow, with no urgency or heat. Just pure love.
“What was that for?” Buck whispered as he pulled away.
“I love you so much it hurts sometimes. I love how much you love my son. I love how much you care for other people and how fiercely protective you are of your family. I love hwo you make me feel.”
“How do I make you feel?” Buck leaned their foreheads together, his breath mixing with Eddie’s as he spoke.
“Like I am the only person who will ever exist in your eyes. You make me feel special and loved in a way that I’ve never felt before.”
“You deserved to be loved Eddie.”
“So do you Evan. You deserved all the love in the world, even if no one has ever made you feel like it, you do. And I will spend everyday for the rest of our lives making sure you know how important you are to me. If that’s something you want?”
“Yes. I want that Eddie. I want all of it, with you.”
“Good. Because you’re stuck with me. You said earlier that you don’t know where you fit in, but here’s your answer. You fit right here with me and our son. You never have to be alone again.”
“I don’t want to be alone.”
Buck sounded close to tears and Eddie gathered him in his arms.
“Never. You’re never going to be alone again.”
Buck leaned up to kiss him, before grabbing his hands and pulling him up.
“Let’s go to bed. I want to cuddle the shit out of you.”
“Lead the way sunshine.”