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Authors: and
Title: All I Want For Christmas Is You (1/1)
Rating: PG-13
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Part of the Twelve Days of Chlolliesmas, a series of twelve Christmas themed one-shots.
Summary: Season ten AU - Oliver is missing Chloe during Christmas, but there is a surprise for him.
Oliver stood in the clocktower, staring out the plate glass windows into the darkness. It had begun snowing hours ago, large fluffy snowflakes sticking to every available surface. He supposed it was good that all the people that had wished for a white Christmas were getting their wish granted.
That must be nice for them.
Closing his eyes, he took a long drink of his scotch, finishing off the glass just as the elevator grate opened. He didn't bother to turn around and see who it was because he already knew.
"Oliver?" Clark called awkwardly after he closed the grate again and made his way further into the room, cocking his head a little to look at his friend. This felt eerily like the day he had almost seen Oliver kill himself, and that wasn't something he liked to remember.
He drew in a breath and pasted on a smile before turning to look at Clark. "Hey, Clark. What's up?"
Clark took a deep breath and tried for a smile, "we're finishing up dinner at the farm, and mom always makes too much food I thought I'd stop by and check if you changed your mind."
Oliver shook his head a little. "I already ate, but I appreciate the offer. Again."
"It's Christmas, Oliver," Clark sighed a little, "you shouldn't be here by yourself."
"It's just another day, Clark," he said, a flash of pain in his eyes as he shrugged.
Clark looked at him for a moment then shook his head, "if you change your mind, give me a call and I'll come get you."
"I'll keep that in mind," he told the younger man with a slight nod, turning to stare out the window once more.
With a deep breath, Clark looked at Oliver for a second longer then with a strong wind, he disappeared.
He shut his eyes, leaning his head against the glass for a moment, and then downing the rest of his glass of scotch. He turned away to go get the bottle and pour himself another when his cell phone began to play the first few notes of American Woman. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face and picked it up from where it lay on his computer desk. "Merry Christmas, Lois," he said wryly.
"Put the scotch down, Queen, I'm sending Clark right back to pick you up and you can wish me a merry Christmas in person," she told him as soon as he picked up.
Oliver rolled his eyes. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm good."
Lois sighed on the other side and shook her head, "you miss Chloe, I get it, I wish she was here too, but I bet she has a really good reason not to be, Ollie. I know she's probably out there somewhere hoping someone kicks your ass into coming to celebrate Christmas at the farm and when she comes back, she's gonna be pissed when she finds out none of us managed to."
His jaw tightened involuntarily, and he rubbed his hand over his face again, moving to the kitchen and pouring himself another drink. He knew Lois was right--Chloe would be pissed. But she wasn't there, and he didn't know if she was ever going to be there again. "I'm not in the mood to celebrate."
"Then don't celebrate, come over, you can be miserable here too, at least you can have the best food you'll ever eat," she told him.
"I already ate."
"Then have dessert," she pushed then sighed, "c'mon, Ollie, you're not the only one who misses her."
A wave of bitterness washed over him and it was all he could do not to snap at her. "Listen, I appreciate what you're trying to do, Lois, but you just enjoy the holiday with Clark and Mrs. Kent. I'm fine."
Lois sighed deeply and rolled her eyes, "I'll give you half an hour to think about it, then I'm calling you again." She told him.
Oliver rolled his eyes as well. "All right." Shaking his head, he hung up. Then he turned his phone off.
About twenty minutes had passed before the elevator's grate was opened again, this time, Bart, AC, Vic and Dinah all stepped out of it, carrying gifts as well as bags of take out.
"Bossman!" Bart grinned when he saw him there, then looked at the others, "told you he'd be here."
Oliver groaned inwardly, drinking down the rest of his scotch and setting the glass aside. Was it really that difficult for people to grasp the concept that he wanted to be left alone? He wondered if Lois was behind this one, too. "Guys," he said warily, eyeing them.
AC grinned at him. "Long time, no see."
"Not that long," he responded.
"Long enough," Dinah said, arching an eyebrow as she placed the bags she was carrying over the main desk.
"We brought food and presents and stuff," Bart said, excitedly.
He sighed and looked back at them. "Did Lois send you?" His voice was even.
Vic frowned, confused, "no, man, we were planning on coming by." He told Oliver.
Dinah started pulling things from bags then looked at AC, "this will need to be heated up."
"On it," AC said, winking at her. He picked up the food containers and headed to the kitchen.
Oliver shut his eyes for a moment. "Shouldn't you all be...I don't know, with your families?" His voice was weary.
"Had Christmas lunch with them," Bart said, grinning, "never too much Christmas food."
"Agreed," AC spoke up, poking his head out from the kitchen.
"We brought Chinese food, pizza, and all kinds of leftovers from our various Christmas lunches," Victor told him.
"And then we can open presents," Bart told Oliver, nodding a little.
Oliver drew in a breath, realizing they had no intention of leaving. Figured. "Right," he mumbled, leaning back on the sofa once more and staring at his empty glass.
Fake cheer it was.
Jolly.
* * *
"Man that was awesome, who made that pie?" Bart asked.
Dinah arched an eyebrow at him and smirked, cocking her head.
"No way, you did?"
"It's a family recipe," She told him, nodding a little.
Oliver pushed the rest of his around with his fork, then set it down silently, not looking up.
"She's a hell of a cook," AC informed Bart, grinning.
Victor looked at Oliver and frowned a little, "you okay there? Haven't said much all night." He asked quietly.
He glanced at Vic for a moment, then sighed softly. "Yeah. I just need to grab some air. I'll be back." He pushed his chair back away from the table and headed away without another word, moving toward the elevator.
Bart didn't hear the words, just saw as Oliver walked out and frowned, "what's that all about?"
AC watched him go, frowning a little, as well. "Good question."
* * *
It was only a five minute walk from the clock tower to Watchtower. He knew he'd promised to stay away from the place, but even as the cold, wet snow flew around him, he knew no one was following him.
Even anti-hero types had places to be on Christmas Eve.
Rubbing a hand over his face, he double checked anyway, then made his way up the stairs of Watchtower, his expression gloomy.
Tess had been shutting down the computers for the night when she heard the elevator, she frowned and checked on the security cameras, shaking her head a little when she saw Oliver making his way in.
He nodded at her as he made his way into the main room, frowning a little as he saw her powering down the system. "Crime doesn't stop for holidays."
"Apparently the heroes do," she told him, "what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to work." He shrugged.
"On what? Even the few criminals who aren't busy celebrating got scared away by the snow, go home, Oliver." She said quietly.
"Is that where you're headed?" he asked, avoiding her eyes.
"Yes," she said, a little surprised by the question.
Oliver nodded slightly, his expression blank. "Have a good holiday," he told her, moving over to the desk.
"Are you just going to stay here?" She asked, her own expression mostly neutral.
"Yeah. For now. I'll just keep an eye on things in case someone decides to cause trouble."
"I'm sure that's what you'll be doing," Tess said, shaking her head, "merry Christmas, Oliver." She told him, then picked up her purse and headed for the door.
"You too," he said without looking at her. He listened to the sound of her heels heading away and then he shut his eyes, slumping into the chair and shutting his eyes.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be.
Chloe was supposed to be there, with him, and they were supposed to be celebrating their first Christmas together as a couple. His chest tightened painfully and he rubbed a hand over his face, exhaling softly.
No, it wasn't how it was supposed to be.
The past few months had been incredibly hard on her, harder even because she had been watching all of them closely, especially Oliver. Every time he had gotten hurt or in trouble, or even when that stupid reporter tried to question his integrity both as a man and as a hero, she had wanted nothing more than to be there for him, but she knew she couldn't be, she had completely erased herself for a reason and she had stayed away for a purpose, but tonight was so much more than she could take.
She had been thinking of leaving Metropolis completely, just so she wasn't tempted to do exactly what she was doing right now, she knew it was stupid, she knew it could compromise everything, but seeing him hurting like that, it was pure cruelty and she couldn't handle it anymore.
Chloe took a deep breath as she looked up at the Watchtower, her chest tight as she considered walking away one last time. It was snowing heavily now and she knew she couldn't just stand there for a long time, so she took a deep breath and pulled her new phone from her pocket. Even as she walked into the building, she hacked Watchtower's security, which was easy since she had set everything up herself.
She didn't want him to see her yet, just in case she got upstairs and he had fallen asleep or something, so she made her way into the familiar building, not really paying attention to it as she walked into the elevator. The Watchtower wasn't hers anymore, at least not for now, and this wasn't why she was here anyway.
The elevator ride had both been the quickest and the slowest ever, as the doors slid open, she took a deep, shaking breath and stepped out of the elevator as quietly as possible, even as her boots made quiet noises against the marble floor. She took only a couple of steps then stopped, stilling completely as she listened, trying to figure out what he was doing in there.
"Go home, Tess," he ordered without turning around. "I don't need your pity and if I wanted company I'd just go back to my own apartment."
Chloe's chest tightened at the words and the tone of his voice, she could hear all his defenses in it, and she knew it was her fault, "what about someone else's company?" She asked finally, taking a couple more steps into the room.
Oliver froze at the sound of that voice. Her voice. He wondered for a moment if he'd fallen asleep and he was dreaming. Slowly, he turned to face her, the breath catching in his throat as he stared at her, his eyes wide.
She held her breath, looking at him for a long moment before stepping further into the Watchtower but still giving him some space, she didn't really know what his reaction was going to be, even if she had some idea, she could have been wrong.
He blinked twice to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, then rose to his feet, still staring. "Chloe?" he whispered.
"Hi," she told him quietly, smiling a little, mostly to reassure him.
He moved toward her slowly, his heart pounding hard in his chest. When he was close enough, he reached out, wrapping his arms around her tightly and burying his face against her neck. "My God. You're really here," he whispered.
She closed her eyes tightly and wrapped her arms around him without hesitating, holding him as tightly as she could. She had been right about how he would react and if this hurt, she couldn't imagine how much worse it would have been if he had been mad at her.
Oliver pressed a kiss against her neck, forcing himself to take a deep breath before pulling away just enough to look at her, anxious. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"
"I'm okay, Ollie," she promised quietly, smiling a little as she lifted her hand to his face. She would ask him the same, but she already knew the answer.
He searched her eyes for a moment, leaning instinctively into her touch. Then he dipped his head, kissing her softly and then with urgency almost instantly.
She kissed him back, matching his urgency as she tried her best to reassure him, if seeing him suffering had been bad, this was so much worse. Feeling the desperation in his kiss made all the guilt she'd been feeling the past few months multiply, all she wanted to do was promise him she would never leave his side again. She wanted to make that promise for both their sakes, but she knew it was a promise she would have to break.
Even as she kept her eyes closed, she could feel them getting warm with tears, but she pulled herself together as much as she could, she had to be strong for him, to remain calm, to reassure him, that was the point. She had to let him know she was still there.
"I've missed you so much," he whispered, threading one hand in her hair.
"I've missed you too," she told him, kissing him softly after taking a deep breath, but keeping her arms around him.
He leaned his forehead against hers, brushing his nose over hers. "I love you," he whispered. "I've been waiting so long to say that to your face."
Chloe swallowed hard at that and nodded slightly, sharing the sentiment, "I love you."
He brushed his thumb lightly over her cheek, closing his eyes and exhaling slowly. "Where've you been, Chloe?" he whispered.
She pursed her lips together and took a deep breath, looking at him carefully for a moment then looking down, "I've never left Kansas," she told him quietly, "I wanted to come find you, Ollie, every day."
Oliver's chest tightened. "Why didn't you?" He shook his head.
"I couldn't," she whispered to him, her own chest tightening even more and she wondered if he was angry with her after all, not that she could blame him. "I couldn't let them track me through you, I shouldn't be here now but..."
"The Suicide Squad?" he asked, searching her eyes as he tried to understand.
Chloe blinked slowly and watched him closely but didn't answer one way or the other, "I've been keeping an eye on things, on all the sides."
He held his breath. "It's not just the Suicide Squad, is it?" He swallowed hard. "You know about the whole new intergalactic evil, too, right?"
She covered his lips with her fingers and shook her head, "I can't talk about it," she told him, trying to remain neutral and push away the guilt, "I can't compromise things more than I already am by being here, I know it's not fair, but I can't answer your questions, not until you need to be included."
He gazed at her for a long moment, then looked down. "Right," he murmured.
She paused and dropped her hand from his lips, blowing out a breath and looking down. This had been a bad idea, a really bad idea. She shouldn't have come, she was just making things worse, harder on him. "I'm so sorry, Ollie." She told him quietly.
"I'm just glad you're okay," he whispered, lifting a hand to her face, and tilting her head up with his thumb beneath her chin.
Chloe looked up at him, searching his eyes for a moment, "I can't stay."
His chest tightened more and he nodded wordlessly. Somehow he'd known that already.
"I shouldn't have come," she swallowed hard, taking a deep breath and dropping her hands from him. It was hard to do, but it was even harder to take a step back.
"Don't," he whispered, reaching out and catching her wrist in his hand, pulling her closer once more. "Not yet."
She stilled, a pained look on her face as she looked down at her hand on her wrist. She took a deep breath then nodded a little. "I saw how upset you were," she whispered, "even after the others went over, I couldn't--" she trailed over, "I didn't want to see you like this, not on Christmas."
Oliver lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm softly. "Are you alone?" he whispered. "Have you been..." He swallowed hard, shaking his head a little.
Chloe took a deep breath and brushed her fingertips against his cheek gently, but didn't answer.
"I should stop asking questions, shouldn't I?"
"I can't give you answers," she repeated, pressing her palm to his cheek and stepping closer to him again, "all I can tell you is that I'm safe, as safe as any of us can be."
He searched her eyes, then kissed her softly. "I'll wait for you," he whispered. "I don't care how long it takes. I'll wait for you." His voice was strained.
Her chest clenched and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply as her eyes got warm again.
Oliver could feel the warm wetness on his cheeks and he wasn't sure if the tears were hers or his. Maybe both.
She kissed him until she couldn't breathe anymore, her chest just as tight as it was before as she pulled her lips from his and even as she took a deep breath, she brushed her nose against his, her arms still wrapped firmly around his neck.
He pulled her close, holding her tightly to him, not wanting to let her go even though he knew that was exactly what he was going to have to do.
"We have a few hours," she whispered to him, holding on to him as she turned her head a little, opening her eyes, her vision blurry.
Oliver nodded slightly and picked her up without a word, pressing his mouth against hers once more and kissing her.
Chloe wrapped her legs around him instinctively, kissing him back and holding him tightly as he moved them across the room.
He laid her down on the couch, covering her body with his. If all they had was a few hours, they were definitely going to make the most of it.
* * *
They had spent hours going between making love and just holding each other, neither one of them had fallen asleep, not wanting to waste a second of whatever little time they had together.
Chloe had ignored the clock as it blinked five A.M. but by the time it turned to five-thirty, she knew she couldn't be much longer. Pursing her lips together, she turned into him and hid her face against his neck, pressing her lips to his skin softly then brushing her nose against his jaw.
He stroked her hair gently, his chest tightening at her movement because he knew what it meant. "I love you." He'd lost track of how many times he'd uttered the words to her in the last few hours. But it would never seem like enough. Not when he didn't know how long it would be before he saw her again.
She lifted her head to look up at him, holding his gaze, "I love you," she told him quietly, "and even this was nothing like we would have planned, I'm glad we got to spend Christmas together."
Oliver nodded, swallowing hard. "And you'll be watching," he murmured. "And listening?"
"Always," she told him, smiling sadly, "I won't be far."
He held her gaze, lifting a hand to her cheek and kissing her softly.
Chloe kissed him back as she leaned into his touch, keeping her eyes closed, she whispered, "you can't tell the others."
"I won't," he whispered back. "You have my word."
She opened her eyes again and brushed her nose against his, holding his gaze for a moment, "please take care of yourself, Ollie," she couldn't stop herself, she knew it was hard on him, but he couldn't keep suffering, not because of her.
"This won't be forever, right?" he murmured.
"No," she promised, "a few months and it will be over," she told him, she couldn't leave him hanging again, not without at least having some kind of time frame.
Nodding a little, he kissed her intently, his hand threading through her blond curls. "All right."
She kissed him back, then turned her head and kissed his palm, her eyes on him, "I love you," she said one more time.
"I love you," he whispered back. "Always." He swallowed hard. "No matter what happens, don't forget that."
"Goes both ways," she said sincerely, her chest getting progressively tighter. Laying there with him on the Watchtower's couch was so familiar, they had done that so many times before, since the first night they slept together, she had almost managed to forget it was just another night. Almost.
"Thank you for coming here," he whispered, searching her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Chloe."
"Merry Christmas, Ollie," she told him, her eyes on his too, "if you ever need to talk to me," she told him quietly, "I'm listening, even if I can't answer you."
"Somehow that's...actually very comforting," he murmured, kissing her softly on the mouth once more.
Chloe kissed him back, smiling slightly. That was what she was hoping for, for a way to make him feel better, less lonely, and it would help her too. "I will see you again, Ollie," she promised, "hopefully before long."
"I'm holding you to that, Professor," he whispered, letting her pull away even though it was with great reluctance.
She gathered her clothes and dressed quickly then she paused and looked at him for a moment before rushing into the kitchen, digging through one of the drawers.
He rubbed a hand over his face, sitting up slowly and dressing much less quickly than she had.
Chloe smiled a little when she found what she's been looking for and walked back to the couch, her chest was still tight, and she knew it was going to be incredibly hard when she got back, but for now, she felt lighter. She stopped in front of him and took a deep breath, then held up a spoon for him.
It was an old spoon, she'd had it since she was a kid, it wasn't particularly meaningful, but for some reason, it had made it from her dad's house, to her dorm room, to the talon and finally to the Watchtower, it was part of a set, the spoon had the drawing of a Queen, the fork, if she remembered correctly, was the King, and the knife was a dog. She hadn't seen the other two in ages, but the spoon had survived. Somehow, it was fitting, her giving him a spoon and one with a Queen on it nonetheless.
"Since I didn't exactly get to go Christmas shopping..." she told him quietly.
He held his breath a little and reached out, taking it from her, their fingers brushing together. "Appropriate," he whispered.
"It's not a satellite..." she told him quietly, wrapping her fingers around his.
Oliver smiled very faintly at that. "It's better," he murmured, kissing her softly.
Her heart skipped a beat even at the hint of a smile on his face, she kissed him back, cupping his face in her hand then, reluctantly, she took a deep breath and held his gaze, "I'll see you soon," she told him quietly and without waiting for an answer, she turned around and made her way to the door quickly, if she didn't do it that way, she would never have been able to leave him.
His chest tightened painfully as he watched her walk away, even if he knew it wouldn't be forever. "I love you," he whispered as she vanished from his sight.
Tears prickled at his eyes and he looked down at the spoon in his hands. She'd given him far more than just a spoon.
She'd given him the one thing that no one else had been able to give him.
She'd given him hope.