Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He doesn’t know where it went so wrong. One minute he’s having a calm conversation with the potential inhuman they’ve been sent to assess for the index. Then next, he’s being pinned to a wall with a knife through his shoulder. He can’t even ice this guy, since his icer had been flung across the room. This is usually the time that backup would show up but unfortunately for him, the comms are down and backup is not close enough to help. He really wishes May was here right now to save his ass like she always does but it looks like he is on his own for this one.

With his adrenaline pumping, he tries to ignore the shooting pain in his shoulder and get free of the inhuman’s hold. Managing wiggle free from the other man’s grasp he lands a solid blow to the man’s face. This didn’t even seem to faze the inhuman.

‘Huh looks like that’s not going to work’ he thought to himself. Then he remembers something May did once in an old mission of theirs. But before he can go through with it, the inhuman lunges at him managing to punch him clean in the face. He stumbles back in pain and tries to analyse the situation he’s found himself in. Noticing a wooden chair laying on the ground beside him, a plan starts to come together. It was clear to him that he needed a distraction. So, he grabbed the chair and swung it with all his strength at the inhuman’s head. The chair breaks into pieces like it’s been thrown into concrete. But it serves the purpose Coulson wanted it too.

Whilst the inhuman is distracted, Coulson decides it’s now or never. He raises his right hand up to his shoulder where the handle of the knife is sticking out. Attempting to psych himself up breathing in and out, he grabs the handle of the knife and pulls it out of his shoulder. Blood starts soaking through his white shirt, the pain only gets stronger. But at least he now had a weapon to defend himself with, so he could reach his icer.

Coulson pushes through the pain and runs to the inhuman, but it seems the guy knew what he was planning to do. The inhuman grabbed his wrist and ripped the knife out of his hand. Pushing the inhuman away from him he tries to lunge at him from another angle. Again, the inhuman had the upper hand and came at him with the knife managing to cut him across the stomach. Falling back on the wall in pain, he realised that he was pretty close to his icer. He could end this fight.

Picking himself up once again and stumbling towards his icer the inhuman lands another blow to his face. Coulson falls to the ground his vision becoming fuzzy and finding it hard to focus on the inhuman. He reaches around for his icer, fortunately for him the inhumans blow to his head had knocked him in the direction his icer was in. ‘Now if only I could find it!’ he thought to himself.

He stumbles to his feet once again and looks around for his icer. But then feels this sharp pain across his back, the inhuman slashed his back with the knife. He flings himself round to face the inhuman and is punched in the ribs, causing him to fall backwards onto the floor.

The inhuman then kneels on the floor above him and aims the knife straight at his face. With one hand frantically reaching around for the gun, it seems like everything is moving in slow motion. The knife is getting closer and closer to his face and he still hasn’t found his icer.

Just before the knife reaches him, Coulson puts his arm up to protect his face and the knife makes contact with his arm. Cutting straight through the fabric of his shirt and making its way through his skin. He finally feels the coldness of his icer. Grasping it desperately in his hand, whilst in immeasurable amounts of pain, he squeezes the trigger three times point blank at the inhuman on top of him. A heavy weight falls on his chest as the inhuman is rendered unconscious.

He pushes the inhuman off of him, puts his icer back in his holster and walks to the table where their conversation began. Perching himself on the chair which holds his suit jacket on the back, he assesses his injuries. The most concerning of them all being the deep knife wounds to his shoulder and left forearm. The other wounds to his stomach and back seem to be minor cuts. As well as the possible bruised ribs. Obvious signs of the struggle being the white shirt he was wearing, now stained red with blood in certain places. As well as the visible cuts and swelling on his face from being punched multiple times.

Getting up from his chair he makes his way over to the inhuman, securing his wrists with handcuffs. “Not such a big man now are ya?” he chuckled to himself.

Just then his comms crackled in his ear, “is everything okay sir, seems the comms went down?” Skye’s voice appeared.

“well… let’s just say the inhuman was more hostile then we originally thought but I handled it!” he said sarcastically into his comms. “I would appreciate some assistance in getting him back to the bus, you know where I am.” With that comment he walked back over to the table, grabbed his suit jacket and put it on. The movement caused pain to radiate from the wound on his back, but he didn’t want the team to see those injuries. They’d want to help him and as far as he’s concerned there is only one person who he wants to help him now. And he’d have to wait until he got back to the playground for her help.

While he was waiting for Skye and Hunter to come and help him, he looked around the room. There was visible signs of his fight with the inhuman. The damaged chair and some other damage to picture frames and small items across the room. But they’d know the minute they looked at his face anyway. Minutes later Skye and Hunter came through the door of the inhumans apartment. He stood buttoning up his suit jacket, hiding his other injuries further.

“Wow Coulson looks like things didn’t go too well! Not the easy mission we planned for huh?” Hunter joked, and went over to the unconscious man on the floor. Coulson just glanced in his direction giving the Brit a stern look.

Skye came over to Coulson concerned about the injuries to his face. “you alright?”

He just looked at her and smiled “yeah nothing I can’t handle, thanks though”. He was surprised they didn’t realise he was more hurt than he had let on, he was in a lot of pain. But he ignored the pain and helped them get the inhuman back to the bus.

Once the inhuman was restrained in the interrogation room, he briefed the team and gave the order to the pilot to take them back to the playground. Radioing to the base to have agents there to take the inhuman to the holding rooms once they landed. Afterwards, he retired to his small office on the plane. Plopping carefully on his office chair, mindful of his back, he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Finally, he could talk to the one person who had been on his mind since the mission went sideways. He sent a short message to May – Hey, need your help with something when I get back to base. Meet me in the med bay? Don’t worry everything is fine – and then closed his phone. Releasing a big sigh, he opened his desk draw and took some painkillers. At least with those in his system he could focus on writing the report for how the hell this mission went sideways so quickly!

Moments later his phone buzzed, he smiled already knowing who it was. It was a message from May – Hey yourself, I’ll be waiting for you when you get back – he smiled again. He is really glad he can count on her to help him when he really has no one else. Truth be told, he’s always been able to count on her for anything and everything since they first became friends at the academy. He thinks about that all the time, wondering to himself if she feels the same way he does. Wondering how different things could be now if they’d taken a different path in their friendship all those years ago. But ultimately those thoughts get pushed to the back of his mind like they always do. He shakes his head as he tells himself, ‘she’s your best friend! She’s always been your best friend, nothing else. You cannot jeopardise such a long friendship just because of what if’s and one-sided feelings. She can never know how you truly feel, it wouldn’t be fair to her.’

Distracting himself from his thoughts he gets back to his paperwork, he’ll see her soon enough. And he can’t help it when another small smile spreads across his face. He is really looking forward to seeing her, but he’s not looking forward to the disapproving look and scolding he’s going to receive when he gets back to the base due to his current condition.

Chapter Text

After a not so smooth landing, the bus was back at the playground. He was trying to prepare himself for the at length discussion he was currently about to face at the hands of his best friend, who was most probably pacing about the lab freaking out the other young agents.

‘Get up you baby, she’s not going to be that mad’ he told himself. He realised the bus had touched down in the base ten minutes ago and he was still sitting in his office chair. Straightening his back in the office chair, he was reminded of the pretty bad gash to his back. The pain of all his injuries returned. ‘Well looks like the painkillers have worn off’. With that in mind he finally picked himself up out of his chair and walked out of his office.

Coming down the spiral staircase bringing him into the briefing area of the bus he jumped when he realised, he was not alone. “Hey Coulson, sure you don’t want someone to take a look at your face? Looks like that guy did a number on ya!” laughed Skye.

He sighed and shook his head, “nah I’m fine Skye see you later”.  He then made his way off the bus and into the base. He headed straight in the direction of the lab which held the small but well stocked medical bay.

When he finally reached the lab, he was surprised to find it empty aside from the small figure standing in the med bay. He took a deep breath and then walked through the doors.

It didn’t surprise him when May turned around immediately after he entered the room. It was like they could sense the others presence or something. Probably because they’ve known each other for so long he thought. When he made eye contact with May however, a look of concern spread across her face. He walked towards her until he was in the med bay and closed the door behind him.

“Phil, what’s wrong” May asked him in concern.

‘I must look like crap; she never calls me by my first name unless somethings wrong’ he thought to himself. He didn’t respond to her straight away, first hesitating due to the extreme amount of pain he was in. But he decided he didn’t want to upset her further so he unbuttoned and removed his suit jacket. Taking extra care in avoiding his injuries as much as he could.

His white shirt was almost completely stained in his blood in certain places. Watching May’s face, he saw her take in the sight before him, her eyes widening in fear. “Why the hell didn’t you get help when you got on the bus? Phil Coulson for a smart man you sure can be stupid at times!” she sighed at him.

He chuckled to himself, clearly not the right thing to do in this situation but he couldn’t think straight. “Can I sit down first before you let rip at me? The pain is excruciating”. And with that comment he brushed past her and sat down on the bed.

“You wanna tell me what happened while I grab some stuff and have a look?” May asked still concerned. Seeing the amount of blood staining his shirt, his injuries may have been worse than he originally thought.

Whilst May went over to the cabinet picking out a needle and stitches, a syringe and bandages. He started “well things were normal at first, just your standard welcome wagon. The intel said this guy was pretty nervous so I made the call to go into his apartment alone and leave Skye and Hunter outside to check the surrounding area for complications.”

“I should’ve been there instead of stuck here training the new agents!” May huffed.

“Well contrary to popular belief I can fend for myself!” he laughed. He watched as May dragged a stool over to the side of the bed and sat down in it with a metal tray full of medical supplies in her hand. She placed the tray beside him on the bed and waited for him to continue.

“Next thing I know the guy got spooked by something and lunged for me. My comms weren’t working and he picked up a knife and stabbed me in the shoulder.” He continued gesturing to his bloody shoulder. “I remembered something you did in one of our old missions” he chuckled.

“Don’t tell me you tried to pull it out?”

He widened his eyes and replied “well… yeah I did. And it wasn’t pleasant!”

“Oh no you don’t say. I don’t remember it feeling great at the time either! Well what else happened?”

Coulson looked at her sitting in front of him, and gathered his thoughts as the fight played out in his head. “Well after I got the knife out, I tried to run at him but it was like he knew what I was thinking! He grabbed me and got hold of the knife. Long story short he cut me in the stomach and punched me a couple of times. Then he cut me across my back with the knife, he punched me in the ribs when I turned around!” he explained.

“I bet that hurt” May threw in his direction whilst looking at the injuries to his face.

“You bet it did! But anyway, after that he flung himself over me and was pushing the knife towards my head and I was still looking for my icer. I put my arm up to protect myself and he pushed the knife straight into my arm. I thought I was a goner May.”

She looked at him straight in his eyes and saying sincerely “things always turn out okay in the end Phil, you did what you could.”

He gave her a small smile “well I eventually iced him after I got my ass well and truly handed to me!”

May tended to the injuries on his face. Cleaning off any dried blood and taped the large cut above his eye and the one on his cheek. “well you’re going to need to take off your shirt if you want me to help” she replied. He tensed in front of her and she realised why he had not gotten help earlier. That’s why he avoided her question earlier.

“Phil, what’s going on?” she asked concerned.

He took a deep breath and responded “I didn’t want anyone to see my scars, they’re ugly and embarrassing.”

May took his face in her hands “Phil, its okay. It’s my reminder that my best friend came back to me”. She took her hands off of his face and slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

He trusted her more than anyone else in his life so he let her continue. “I trust you May, only you to help me with this. So, thank you” he blurted out. She smiled at him but continued what she was doing. May slipped his shirt off his shoulders and observed his injuries.

The knife wound to his left shoulder and forearm were really deep and still bleeding. But the cut on his stomach seemed to be pretty minor and was no longer bleeding. His ribs were a deep blue colour. Hopefully they were just bruised, he thought to himself. He turned slightly so she could get a look at his back, it wasn’t too bad and like his stomach it had stopped bleeding.

“Jeez Phil, he got you good. Shame I wasn’t there to save your ass like I always do!” May joked.

He laughed “well I specifically recall a certain mission in Prague where I was the one saving your ass!”

May gasped “Seriously Phil, you bring that up! It was one time and like I always tell you, I could’ve handled it!”

“The guy had you tied up and he had an extremely large gun pointed at you! Looked to me like you needed the help” he joked.

“Yeah but now we’ll never know, will we?” May quipped back.

“You keep telling yourself that May” he replied with a beaming smile on his face.

He damn well knows that she has saved his ass way more times than he has saved hers but he still loved to tease her about it. He is really lucky she didn’t bring up the bra incident when they were undercover years ago, she always brings that up too. ‘She must be taking pity on me right now, doesn’t want to injure my feelings when pretty much everything else about me is injured right now!’ he thought to himself.

A comfortable silence fell between them after that, one of the many advantages of being partners all these years is that they were completely comfortable in each other’s company. With his shirt finally off and a thorough inspection of his injuries she set about cleaning up the cut on his stomach.

“You know, I can’t count the amount of times we’ve had to do this for one another” she commented while she cleaned and bandaged up his stomach.

“Fifteen times at least, but that’s what partners are for!”

Once she finished with his stomach, she decided to clean up the cut on his back. As she was walking behind him, he was worried about the scar on his back. She had seen the one on his chest but not this one.  It wasn’t as bad really and that made him feel stupid for worrying, he trusted her, she didn’t care what they looked like. She definitely has her fair share of scars; she was used to it herself.

As she was cleaning up and bandaging the cut on his back, he felt her hands wander to the scar on his back. Gently running her hands over it caused shivers down his spine, it was still surprisingly sensitive even after all this time. But then again nobody had touched that scar the way May was currently.

“You know, this isn’t something to be embarrassed about Phil. Each scar is like a story in your life. I’m just extremely glad that wasn’t the end of your story. And I mean it’s one hell of a story too!” She then walked round the bed to face him.

“I know May, I’m just still coming to terms with it. Even after everything we found out. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over it” he sighed.

She took his hands in hers bringing them closer, he looked into her eyes. “An experience like that changes you Phil. It’s not something you can get over. But hopefully in time you’ll be able to move on and be able to feel differently when you see these scars.” She squeezed his hands reassuring him she was there if he needed her, just like she had always been.

“Thank you May, that means a lot coming from you.”

She let go of his hands and picked up the syringe laying on the tray beside him. “Now hold still so I can sort out this shoulder.”

He let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding as she injected the local anaesthetic into his shoulder. He didn’t really like getting injections but he prefer not to feel her stitching up his shoulder. She started stitching the wound together and he winced.

“Aw come on don’t be a baby, you’ve had it worse before Phil” she joked with a smile on her face. Just the look on her face was enough to shut him up. “You always squirm when the needles come out, remember that time in Rome when I had to stitch you up in the car? You cried like a little baby!”

“Hey hold it a second, in my defence we didn’t have any painkillers then and it hurt like a bitch! You’re just a ninja who isn’t bothered by pain!” he laughed.

“Maybe I’ll have to teach you my ninja ways then Phil, observation is key. You should do some more of that.”

A smile flashed across his face. ‘oh, trust me I observe you much more than you think, but its more of an appreciation’ he thought to himself. That was definitely not something to share with her. He was just about to respond to her when they were interrupted.

Simmons wandered into the lab and was heading for the direction of the med bay. She opened the door clearly not seeing the two people in front of her. But then stopped when she saw the blood-stained shirt on the floor beside the bed.

“Oh my, sir are you okay? Nobody reported any injuries from the mission, did you want me to take a look?” she rushed out.

The minute she came through the door, ignoring the pain in his arm, he moved his hand to cover up the scar in the middle of his chest. Ashamed of it, he wasn’t ready for anyone but May and his doctors to see it. But before he could answer May responded.

“It’s okay Simmons I’ve got it. In fact, we are almost done anyway.”

“Are you sure Agent May, I can just check him over?”

He was surprised that Simmons tried to push with May, usually people are very intimidated by her. And he knew that’s how she liked it! Simmons was in doctor mode but even then, she couldn’t match the stubbornness of one Melinda May.

“No, its fine Simmons. It’s not like I haven’t had to do this before for Coulson or even myself.”

Simmons still looked apprehensive to leave without helping but she accepted that she was not going to win against May. “Okay, well I’m here if you need me… but I’ll be in the common area.” And with that comment she left the room and exited the lab.

“I thought she wasn’t going to leave! You should’ve given her one of your glares May and she would’ve run out of here!” he joked.

“Oh, like the ones I’m always giving you but you ignore?” she said with a smile.

“After this many years being partners do you really think that works on me now? I’m afraid to say it but I’m immune to that.”

“Looks like I’ll have to find another way to express my annoyance at you now then.” She smirked at him, finishing off stitching his shoulder. She placed a bandage over it and moved to his arm.

“Last one and then you can stop being a baby.”

She took his left hand a placed it on her side so that she could get to the cut on his forearm. And repeating the same steps as his shoulder she began cleaning and stitching the wound together.

He felt heat beginning to rush up his face as he thought about where his hand was. His hand felt like it was on fire sitting on her hip. He didn’t care about the immense amount of pain he was in; this moment right here was worth it. Thoughts started swimming through his head about her, memories about the two of them on old missions. He had been fighting his feelings for her for so long and quite frankly he was getting tired of fighting them. But the fear of ruining their friendship was always there. The fear that she didn’t feel the same way he did and that she couldn’t be his best friend anymore after that.

He didn’t even realise that she had finished stitching up his arm and was bandaging it, he was lost in his own thoughts. But he didn’t move his hand and she hadn’t tried to move it or made a move to stand up. He looked up from his arm to see her looking at him, and he didn’t say anything when he noticed a slight blush in her face. But he suspected his face was the same.

“Thank you May, you don’t know how much I appreciate your help. You’re really the only person I can turn too and that means so much to me.” He then looked back down at his lap, suddenly a lot less confident. He doubted his words, kicking himself for the meaning behind them. He hopes he didn’t just ruin everything between them.

She still was sitting in front of him, and he hadn’t realised that during her fixing up his arm and shoulder, the stool she had been sitting on had been moved closer to the bed. Their knees touching, she was sitting extremely close to him. This made him even more nervous than he was before. He was just about to get up, when she stopped him.

“Phil, I’m glad you trust me enough to do this for you. I know we used to do it all the time but since New York it’s like you’ve been hesitant. And I know why. But I just wanna say that you mean a lot to me and I’m so glad you’re sitting here now. I know what Fury did was terrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But it brought you back to me and I’ll be forever grateful for that.”

Her words took his breath away. Did she just say what he thought she did? Either he was reading way too much into what she just said or his feelings may not have been as one-sided as he originally thought.

After a moment passed, he replied “I’m kind of glad it happened too. I’ve got a second chance here and I’m determined not to waste it.” And with that he closed the small gap that was between them putting his other hand on her waist. He pulled her to him and kissed her.

It was a gentle but passionate kiss, one fuelled by pure emotion. He was so sure that he had ruined everything when she hesitated. But after a moment she melted into him. Bringing her arms up around his shoulders, mindful of his injuries, and pulled him closer. If that was even possible.

He sighed into the kiss after that, relief washing over him. Glad that she clearly felt the same way he did. Finally, this was happening and he couldn’t have been happier. They broke apart from one another and he rested his forehead against hers.

“I thought I was going to have to be the one to make the first move Phil, I’m glad you finally came to your senses!”

“Trust me I’ve wanted to do that for a while but I wanted to be sure that you felt the same way I do. You really do mean a lot to me May, you always have. But damn why did we wait so long to do that?”

She smiled we he said that. “I don’t know, I’m glad it happened though. And of course I feel the same way Phil! I have for a while now.”

He was unbelievably happy right now, he really hoped this wasn’t dream. That he hadn’t passed out in his office chair on the bus because of his injuries. He had to be sure. But before he could say anything, she pulled him in for another kiss.

This was much longer and heated. After a few moments passed he realised he would have to stop this before anything more happened. After all they were still in the med bay and anyone could walk in.

Regrettably he broke their kiss and she sighed. He moved her arms from around his neck and held her small hands in his own. He looked at her and he nearly got choked up seeing all the emotion in her eyes. He really loved her and he needed her to know that. He let go of one of her hands and brought it up to her cheek.

“May, I have to get this out now otherwise I don’t know if I ever will. I’ve waited a long time to tell you this. You mean everything to me, you always have. I’m so glad we’ve finally taken this chance and I want you to know I’m all in. Whatever you want I’ll give you. I just need you to know that I love you. I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

May moved her hands to rest around his neck playing with the ends of his hair there. “Phil, I feel the same way. After Bahrain I never thought I’d feel like this about someone again. But I realised those feelings have always been there. You helped me and was there for me when I really needed you. But I was too broken back then to admit to myself how much you meant to me, how much you’ve always meant to me. Those feelings only grew when I was told you died. That broke me more than Bahrain did and I didn’t realise that was possible. You have no idea how it felt when Fury said he’d brought you back. It was like I’d finally got that second chance with you. I just want to be happy with you. I think we both deserve that after everything we’ve been through together. I love you too Phil, and I always will.”

They were both smiling at each other after finally admitting their feelings for one another. They could finally be happy.

“This has been a long time coming” he joked.

“Tell me about it!”

And in that moment, he was the happiest he had ever been. He could see she was too. They could finally be together. He pulled her in for another small kiss, wrapping her tight in his arms.

“I love you” he whispered to her.

“I love you too.”