Chapter Text
Jaebum kicked the door to his apartment closed and glared at the empty pizza box on the floor and the spot of mold in the corner of the ceiling. His internal neat freak was always put off by the slovenliness of the apartment, but his douchebag roommate just couldn’t seem to keep the place clean. Of course, the douchebag roommate was himself, but the truth was, he just didn’t have the time or a reason to clean and therefore, by default, no motivation. He had no friends to invite over, and was only ever home from the hours of one to five in the morning. Running a hand through his hair, he rummaged around in the fridge for yesterday’s unfinished takeout and brought it over to the couch, not even bothering to heat it up. His hair was getting long, maybe he should cut it. The very thought of the effort involved in trying to look for the scissors was enough to make him quickly abandon the idea.
What annoyed him the most, he decided, was the fact that he had the money for nicer things, and yet couldn’t use a single dime of it, since it was all illegal cash in various currencies and taking any of it anywhere to exchange it would be sure to cause suspicion. He was far too stubborn and proud to pay someone to exchange it for him, also illegally, partially because of the large cut he knew they would inevitably take but mostly because the idea of asking another human being for help was physically revolting to him….
He stood up and kicked the couch in frustration, a resounding thunk somewhat placating his mood. Jaebum had never been very good at controlling his temper; one of the reasons why he was so lonely. Everyone was afraid of him, even his own gang. And it was all because of that fucking temper. Every time anything went wrong he would swear and break things and destroy an entire room with bullet holes. No one would ever want to get close to someone like that, no matter how friendly they were. They followed him because he was a good leader, not because they liked him. Whenever he had one of his episodes, he would watch them all quietly leave and head out for drinks, without him, which just made him even angrier and lonelier. Rather like how he was feeling right now: angry and lonely. He slumped over in the couch and crossed his arms sullenly. Anger was all he had, all that had kept him alive on the streets; anger and bitterness, and if he was honest with himself, it was probably how he was going to die.
A sharp rap on his door followed by a few more startled him out of his haze of self pitying. Reaching for his gun and holding it behind his back, he approached the door and opened it cautiously, not undoing the deadbolt. As he opened it, he was hit with an overpowering smell of smoke and perfume, and standing there at the door was someone he hadn’t seen in almost ten years. In fact, he had never wanted to see her she abandoned him on the steps of a temple: his mother. His lip curled up in a snarl of disgust as he surveyed her disheveled appearance. Even though she was nearly forty three, she still looked in her mid twenties due to her heavy makeup and skimpy outfit. She smiled that sickeningly sweet fake smile at him which made him want to throw up. The sight of her brought back memories he much rather would have liked to forget. The days spent wandering around the mall and watching the other kids play but being too scared to talk to them, while he waited for her to get hair extensions put in or something done to her face, or some things from a “naughty store” that he wasn’t allowed into. Not that she stopped him, but some ajumma had told him that and let him play a game of tic tack toe on the back of one of the checks in her checkbook, and so Jaebum had instinctively trusted her more than his mom. The nights were much worse. Curled up in the corner of some wreck of a house that was theoretically deemed unlivable, shivering due to lack of warm clothing, and flinching at every noise until he physically couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.
“Jaebum honey!” even her voice made him cringe, “It’s so nice to see you again.”
He scoffed.
“Goodbye.” Came his curt reply as he tried to shut the door, but she stopped it with her heel.
“Honey I was wondering if you could do me just one last small favor?” Her smile widened and he could see the yellow stains on her teeth from years of smoking. She reeked of cigarettes.
“I said hell fucking no. Now piss off, the strip club is that way.” He waved the gun in her face and tried again to shut the door.
Unfazed, she huffed in frustration, loosing her patience.
“Look, just take the kid and you’ll never see me again.”
“I’m sorry, the WHAT?” Jaebum froze as she pulled a scrawny looking boy who couldn’t be more than seven from behind her and shoving him towards the door, smacking his hand off which still clung to her short leather skirt.
“Go with your brother, Shuyang.” She spoke sharply in what Jaebum assumed to be Chinese.
“Mom, what the actual fuck!? I can’t take him! I’m a gang leader, not a babysitter for fucks sake! And I—“ he protested angrily, shoving the gun into his back pocket and undoing the deadbolt, opening the door a bit more.
“Fine, then.” she cut him off, “Leave your brother out on the streets for all I care. I’ve put up with him for seven years.” She turned and began to walk away, swaying slightly from the height of her heels, and probably the amount of alcohol she had had.
The boy tried to run after her but she screamed something at him, and he abruptly sat down and burst into tears, burying his face in his hands.
Jaebum usually didn’t hit anybody unless they were attacking him, and ordinarily he would never approve of hitting one’s own mother, but seeing that skinny little kid with messy hair crying his eyes out on the ground sparked something inside him. Maybe it was for his own personal satisfaction; what he always wanted to do and never could, but he caught up to his mother in two steps, yanking her back by her hair and punching her square in her perfectly made up face.
“If I ever see you again, I’ll fucking shoot you dead.” He hissed, spitting venom with every word.
She fell down as soon as he let go of her hair, cradling her nose as blood seeped our through her fingers. He left her without a second thought and went directly to his brother, crouching down and holding out his hand. He guessed the kid spoke no Korean, which was going to be a problem, but right now it was cold and dark and the best course of action was probably to get him inside. Shuyang flinched away from his outstretched hand, and Jaebum sighed. Of course he was scared of him. Who wasn’t? He probably would have been too at that age. The only men he’d ever known were all less than savory characters: gang leaders, druggies, anyone who would pay. He fished around in his pocket and finally found what he was looking for, some candy he had confiscated from a fellow member the other day when the other had tried to replace the bullets in his gun with them. Wordlessly, he offered it to the boy, who looked at him hesitantly before snatching it out of his palm and grabbing onto his arm. His sobs had died down into sniffles and he looked at Jaebum with a look of pathetic resignation. Giving the kid what he thought was the kindest smile he could manage, he scooped him up and carried him inside, shutting and bolting the door behind him.
Shuyang passed out on the couch minutes after finishing the reheated noodles Jaebum had given him, curled up in a ball. The older stared at him for a minute before leaving and returning with a blanket and awkwardly tucking it around the sleeping form. He was now currently glaring at his phone contacts, trying to decide exactly how to text his gang member. There was no getting around it, he needed Jackson. Jaebum didn’t like admitting he needed anyone for anything, but the fact was, he couldn’t speak a word of Chinese, and Shuyang couldn’t speak a word of Korean. Fuck why was this so complicated?! Why the hell didn’t the kid know any Korean, where the fuck had he even come from? Was he really even his brother? He had to be, his mother would never voluntarily pick up a lost child on the streets.
“Agh what the fucking hell, mom.” He muttered quietly to himself, conscious of the tiny form next to him.
Finally he opened Jackson’s name in his contacts and hit new message.
To: Jackson
Hey man, do you know Chinese?
No. What the fuck of course Jackson knew Chinese. Try again. He deleted that and started over.
Hey Jackson I got a favor to ask you.
Nah, no favors.
Jackson, I need you for something.
There, that was good. Official, businesslike sounding...he was going to go with that. He hit send and tossed his phone to the side, exhaling slowly. Why him? He was not cut out to be an older brother. He had never interacted with a child in his entire life, unless Mark counted, but he was sixteen. This is why he never slept with people; he was afraid of responsibility. Not that being a gang leader wasn’t a responsibility, but all of his members were grown men who could make decisions for themselves even if they didn't act like it all the time. Taking responsibility for a kid? Fucking hell no, he was not taking responsibility for a kid. But then what was he supposed to do with him? The phone screen lit up and a dull vibration indicated Jackson had replied.
Jackson: Sure boss what’s up?
He probably had scared the shit out of the man and now poor Jackson was racking his brains trying to think of what he had done that Jaebum needed to chew him out for. What a reputation...
Can you come over?
No, he sounded like a needy girlfriend.
My place, 10 min.
Better. Send.
A sharp rap came on the door almost exactly ten minutes later, the pattern exactly correct for it to be Jackson. Softly Jaebum got off the couch, trying to avoid too much movement, and opened the door. It suddenly hit him that it was nearly three in the morning and he had most likely woke his subordinate up, judging my the circles under his eyes and messy hair.
“What’s going on?” The taller male shivered in the cold night air despite his bomber jacket and Jaebum motioned for him to come in, locking the door again after him.
“Okay first off, you tell anyone about this and I’ll rip your head off. Secondly, I need to learn Chinese.” He whispered fiercely.
“Uh....what?” The other blinked at him, rubbing his eyes as if still trying to convince himself he wasn’t dreaming.
Jaebum heaved a sigh that was a cross between resignation and frustration.
“Fine. My Mom who I haven’t seen in ten years just dumped some kid off on me she says is my half brother but he only speaks Chinese, so do you see my problem?” The leader blurted out an abridged version of the entire story in one long run on sentence, playing with the rings on his hands nervously. Admitting he needed help made him nervous. This fucking KID made him nervous.
Jackson let out a low whistle.
“No Korean? Geez. What’s his name?”
“Seoyang?”
“Shuyang.” The other corrected, “Seoyang is the Korean version of it, but if you want to learn to communicate with him in Chinese, you may as well learn his name.”
Jackson crouched down beside the couch to get a better look at the sleeping boy, then glanced back at Jaebum, then back at the kid.
“He does look like you, you know.”
“Yeah, we are supposedly related.” Jaebum grunted.
There was awkward silence for a few minutes and Jackson glanced around the small apartment.
“You live alone then? Got no one?”
Jaebum shook his head and shrugged.
“Never had the time. And...I scare people.”
“Relatives?”
The older let out a bitter laugh.
“No idea who my dad is, and mom’s a stripper so basically no.”
“Sorry.”
More silence. Jaebum felt a bit bad and slightly uncomfortable. This was the longest conversation he had had with anyone in years. He could barely remember how to hold a conversation.
Suddenly, Shuyang shot up on the couch with a yell and Jackson immediately ran over to him speaking soothingly in the foreign tongue.
Jaebum stood there, not quite knowing what to do in the situation. He clasped and unclasped his hands behind his back. The two seemed to be talking earnestly about something, glancing at Jaebum every now and then, Shuyang nodding. In that moment, he’d never envied someone more than he envied Jackson. The man was so damn charismatic, he knew everyone and had connections everywhere. Everyone liked him. Jaebum couldn’t do any of that, and people just avoided talking directly with him unless they had to.
“He says he had a nightmare, and asked where he was, so I told him you’re his brother and he’ll be staying with you now.” Jackson translated.
Damn Jackson was so naturally good with children…
“Um, what did he...what was the nightmare about?” Jaebum was genuinely curious.
He figured he should probably know what the kid was afraid of so he could reassure him more easily, there being a high probability of this happening frequently.
Jackson nodded briefly and turned back to the young boy on the couch, who was now sitting up, wrapped in Jaebum’s fluffy blue blanket.
“He wants to know what your nightmare was about.”
Shuyang gave his brother a look before biting his thumb nervously, glancing around.
“Ghosts. They always come for me in the dark. I don’t like the dark.”
“Ghosts?” Jaebum sat down slowly on the couch, reaching an arm around the younger’s shivering form as soon as Jackson told him.
“I used to see them all the time, in the alleys. Scary shadows, they’d come for me, but I never let them. I brought a flashlight so I could scare them away. They don’t like light.” The boy looked at him with wide eyes, clutching at his shirt with tiny fists.
“Jackson....”
“He says—“
“It’s okay, you don’t need to translate.” Jaebum cut him off quietly. “Just tell him…tell him…I won’t let the ghosts get him anymore.”
He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, leaning back as Shuyang glued himself to his side, practically crawling into his lap to snuggle closer.
“Good God Jackson, what has this kid been through?” He muttered under his breath.
“I don’t know. The streets of China can be pretty rough, we don’t know where he’s been or what he’s seen. A seven year old out alone in an alley? Fuck.” Jackson sat down cross legged on the ground.
“Don’t I know it.” Jaebum grit out, clenching his jaw, trying to prevent any more memories from coming back
“Jackson” Jaebum spoke after a long pause, the only other sound being Shuyang’s whimpers as he hid his face in the older’s shirt.
“Mmm?”
“Uh, thank you.”
“Yeah, sure, no problem.”
“First lesson.” Jackson announced, making Jaebum start out of his doze. “Basic phrases.”
“Wait wait, it’s like 4AM. I can’t learn anything at 4AM!” His leader protested, shaking his head vigorously.
“Imagine What he’s feeling! And he’s seven! You’ll be fine, let’s go. First lesson.”
Jackson said something in Chinese and Jaebum stared at him blankly.
“Too late I already died of hunger.”
“How was I supposed to know?! You should have made a sign!” The older whisper yelled.
“Oh, so you’re going to blame the seven year old for starving because he doesn’t speak your language? Real honorable, Jaebum hyung.”
“Real what?” Jaebum wrinkled his nose at the foreign word.
“Real fuckin shitty!” Jackson mocked.
“Oh I know the words fuck and shit in Chinese and that ain’t them.” Jaebum snarked back.
“Oh so you DO know some Chinese! And only swears? Coincidental! How’d you learn those now Im Jaebum?” the younger smirked.
“Oh fuck OFF! Now, what did you say before that meant I’m hungry?” Jaebum sighed defeatedly and rubbed his temples.
Jackson was a rather relentless tutor, but after an hour, Jaebum indicated he was done with the lesson by flinging an empty beer bottle at the wall with a yell. The other flinched as it shattered and set his jaw, falling silent.
“I’m done.” Jaebum huffed in a milder tone after clenching and unclenching his fists.
“I can tell.”
Jaebum looked at him sharply. Jackson was perhaps the only person who didn’t have to be afraid of him. If it ever came down to a fight, Jackson would win. Realistically. The man was built like a brick and worked out religiously, Jaebum was tall and lean, and was more proficient with weapons than combat. If Jackson wanted to, he could have put Jaebum in a chokehold and snapped his neck, but the Chinese man was just too nice.
“I think I’m going to go sleep now, hyung.” He raised an eyebrow and grabbed the keys to his bike he had left on the coffee table.
Jaebum nodded, already feeling his eyelids struggle to stay open. His arm was still wrapped around Shuyang who had completely settled into his lap and had fallen back asleep with his face in Jaebum’s neck. He could feel the small breaths. A wave of fear of responsibility hit him again as Jackson closed the door behind him; he had to take care of this kid. As in feed and talk to and....raise. He grimaced.
“I’m gonna take care of you, kiddo.” He promised, patting the younger’s back awkwardly.
“Shu-yang” his tongue strained at the foreign pronunciation.
He drifted off still on the couch.