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It‘s funny, the things that become an in-joke. The first time you say it you maybe think it’s funny, but you never expect it to be a cornerstone of your relationship.
Shepard doesn’t even want to be funny the first time she tells Garrus she wants to punch him. She is genuinely pissed at him for risking Dr. Michel’s life. It’s only the second time she’s met the Turian and he is already getting at her nerves.
But Garrus is a good shot and they have a common goal, so she lets him join the crew of the Normandy. It seems like the most logical course of action.
-
“Shepard your driving is hurting me. Not just physically but also emotionally. Do you know how much time I put into the Mako? It’s like a child to me Shepard. I am begging…”
“Garrus shut up before I have to punch you.”
She isn’t as serious about it this time. Sure she is still annoyed at him but it’s not like she is actually gonna turn around and punch him in the face in the middle of a ground mission. Probably.
Wrex snickers. She didn’t know Krogans could snicker.
“I would like to see you try”
She turns around, eyebrows raised and biotics flaring, only to see a Geth sneak up behind him and shoots it square in the head.
Garrus is so shocked he actually shuts up. For about five seconds. “Damn Shepard, I thought you were really about to shoot me.”
She grins at him. “Next time.”
-
The next time comes sooner than she expected. It’s late at night and she is sitting in the shuttle bay, leaned against Ashley’s workbench, staring at a photograph.
“Shepard?”, oh fuck no.
Garrus crouches down in front of her. “What are you doing down here?”
“I was going through Ashley’s belongings, deciding what to send back to her family.”
“Oh”
“Yeah”
“Is there anything I can...are you okay?”
Shepard laughs. “I’m doing great Garrus. I just lost a crewmember. I am leaping with joy.”
He defensively raises his arms. “Sorry”
She sighs. “It’s okay, it’s fine, I’m fine.” She rises to her feet by herself, ignoring the hand he offers her.
He tilts his head in the way the she has learned to interpret as a smile. “Commander Shepard showing emotions. Never thought I’d live to see it.”
“Yeah”, she smiles back at him “And if you tell anyone about it I’m going to punch you.”
-
When Archangel takes off his helmet and reveals the face of the universes' most punchable Turian Shepard can’t help but let out a little laugh of joy. “Good to see you, Garrus.”
“Even better to see you”, she is pretty sure there’s relief in his voice.
She gives him her patented grin, even though it makes her face hurt. “Need some assistance?”
It’s good to fight with him by her side again. To have something, someone, she can trust again.
Several dead mercenaries later he is tilting his head into a smile. “Dying did you good, Shepard.”
“Watch it Vakarian, or I will punch y…”
The rocket hits his face and the next minutes are nothing back frantic running around and panic.
And this is how Shepard finds out that she can’t lose him.
-
She finds herself in the main battery, time and time again. Even when Garrus is busy with his calibrations, she sits down in the corner and works on her pad.
The next time she makes a joke about punching him it escalates into a conversation about sparing and stress relief. Reach and flexibility.
And that in turn escalates in ways Shepard two years ago would have never thought possible and Shepard now is very very okay with.
-
Garrus turns up on Menae and this time Shepard doesn’t bother hiding the relief.
After six months under house arrest she is pretty much bouncing once she gets back on the battle field. “You want to see something amazing, Garrus?”
“I’m already looking at you.”
“Corny. Beautiful. Inspiring. But I meant this actually.” She uses her new biotic punch to throw a Husk to the other side of the crater they are standing in.
“Very nice”, Garrus replies and his tone makes her grin even more.
“If you two could stop flirting over coms for ONE SECOND”, Liara chimes in. “I would be very grateful”
“He needs to know what’s at stake the next time I threaten to punch him, Liara. Communication is important.”
“You’d never actually punch me and you know it. “, Garrus replies.
Shepard has to admit to herself that at this point, she really wouldn’t.
-
She wakes up from another nightmare. The screams of the dead still ringing in her ears.
Shepard struggles, trying to get the blanket off of her and only notices she has accidentally punched Garrus in the head when he wakes with a noise of complaint.
She tells him to go back to sleep, but he isn’t having it and ends up holding her while she rides out the panic attack, not for the first and definitely not for the last time.
Once her breathing steadies, he can’t help but point it out.
“The time has actually come. You have punched me”
Her laugh still sounds like a sob.
“Doesn’t count. Wasn’t intentional.”
“No take backs”, his kisses the side of her neck. “I have officially been punched.”
This time her laugh sounds a little better. “Punched by love.”
“Punched by love”, Garrus repeats and pulls her a little closer.
-
Shore leave devolves into a battle with her own clone, then a party and then a game of truth or dare.
Wrex eyes dart the round before settling on Shepard. He points at her. “Shepard”
She raises an eyebrow. “Wrex.”
“Have you ever actually punched Garrus?”
The rest of the crew is too busy laughing to notice the look Shepard and Garrus share and the split second decision she makes to lie. “No I haven’t.”
“Shepard”, Tali slurs. “I dare you to punch Garrus.”
“It’s not your turn!” Shepard’s protest gets drowned out by the sounds of her crew drunkly chanting “Punch Garrus, punch Garrus, punch Garrus.”
Instead she pulls him down to kiss him, which leads them to start booing instead and Shepard just wishes she could stay in this moment forever.
-
But she can’t.
Shepard is standing in front of the catalyst.
It is presenting her with three options and all of them sound downright shitty.
As she slowly drags herself towards control. She mentally apologizes to Garrus and weirdly has to think of how a threat of violence became something that bound them together.
It‘s funny, the things that become an in-joke. The first time you say it you maybe think it’s funny but you never expect it to be the last thing you fondly remember before you die.