Chapter Text
“So, did you hear that Simon is engaged?” Zoey’s mother asks. They’re standing in the kitchen, where Zoey has been roped into helping with dinner. Everyone in the family knows that this was just an excuse for Maggie to get some alone time with Zoey—if there was any actual cooking involved on Zoey’s part, their family game night would quickly turn into family put-out-the-house-fire night.
“Simon Haynes?” Zoey asks. She had no need to clarify, seeing as there’s really only one Simon that their family knows. But Zoey wants to keep the inevitable conversation about his engagement at arm’s length, and feigning ignorance seems like the best way to do it.
Maggie gestures for Zoey to get the glasses down from the cupboard. “That would be the one. Anyway, I was just chatting with his mother, and she told me all about the proposal. It sounded very romantic.”
The Clarkes and the Hayneses had been family friends for years; their parents had known each other before Zoey’s elder brother David had been born. Zoey and Simon were born around the same time, and had therefore been friends since before either of them could talk. They saw each other often enough, and after graduating high school, they decided to try their hand at dating. Their relationship was fine, but that’s all it was. It wasn’t exciting, or new, or out of the ordinary. It was the same as their friendship before, just with making out as an added bonus. By the time the end of summer rolled around, Zoey was set to go off to UCLA, and Simon was staying back in San Francisco. It made sense to break up, and that was the end of it. They hadn’t regularly been in touch since; it wasn’t a particularly bad breakup, but being away at school had cemented in the fact that they were really only friends because of their parents. She had seen Simon a few times in the past years, the most recent time being her father's funeral almost a year ago. Besides that, she really only knew of his life through Instagram and their oversharing mothers.
“Well, I knew he was seeing somebody. Jessica—” Zoey pauses here to hop up and grab the fourth glass she needs. Really, she thinks cabinets should be more considerate of those below the average height. “—right? I think I’ve met her a few times. She seems nice.”
“Helen seems to like her, from what she said on the phone,” Maggie says. “She was saying that they’re already planning their engagement party for next month.”
“Next month?” Zoey asks. “Don’t these things generally take longer to plan?”
“They want to have it before everyone starts traveling for the holidays,” Maggie replies. “Anyway, I think we should all go. It’s been so long since our families were all together.”
“I’ll see if I can make it, it really depends on my work schedule,” Zoey says. “We’re developing this new smartwatch, and the software has been super buggy.”
“Well, hopefully you can come.” Maggie pauses for a moment before continuing, “You wouldn’t happen to have anyone you would want to bring along, do you?”
“Like— like a date?” Zoey asks. Of course, David choses this exact moment to walk into the kitchen.
“Zoey taking a date someplace? When was the last time that happened? I’ve already started to accept the fact that you’re going to die an old maid,” David teases, a frown on his lips and a hand clutched over his heart.
Zoey gives him an exasperated look. She hopes it conveys the fact that if it wasn’t for her mother bearing witness, she would be murdering him right now. (All in sibling love, of course.)
“We were just talking about Simon Haynes’ engagement party. I think you and Emily should come, too,” Maggie tells David.
“I’ll see if I’m available, and if Emily is up for it. I don’t know, though. I wouldn’t want Zoey to be third wheeling again.”
“Hey! Who says I don’t have a date?” Zoey asks without thinking. She’s not sure where she’s going with this, seeing as she actually doesn’t have a date.
David doesn’t have to know that, though.
“You’re not seeing anyone, Zoey,” he says, sure of himself.
“Sorry, Dave, I didn’t realize you were keeping tabs on my love life now.” Zoey rolls her eyes. She doesn’t know what compels her to continue down this path of pretending to have a boyfriend, but she keeps on. “And, as a matter of fact, I am seeing someone.”
“Yeah? Who?”
It’s clear David still doesn’t believe her, so Zoey answers with the most believable person she can think of.
“Um, Max?” Her voice lilts up at the end, making it sound like a question more than anything else. Thankfully, no one else seems to notice.
“As in Max Richman?” Her mother asks. “Your best friend Max, who you’ve sworn up and down is ‘just your friend’?”
At that moment, Zoey realizes that saying his name was a mistake. She’s just gone from having a fake boyfriend to having a lying-about-our-relationship-status boyfriend.
“Yep… that would be the one,” Zoey says, trying to keep the growing worry off her face. She turns her back to her her mother and brother, busying herself with filling the water glasses she had gotten down. “Max Richman, my boyfriend.”
“You’re with Max, like, actually?” David questions.
Zoey laughs nervously, still not looking at her family. “Do I have to keep saying it?”
“Well,” Maggie says, walking over to where Zoey is standing. She places a hand on her daughter’s arm. “I think that’s wonderful, Zoey. You know I love Max. You should bring him around to game night sometime.”
“He’s been to game night before, Mom,” Zoey reminds her.
“I know, but not as your boyfriend, he hasn’t. It’s exciting! Your dad would have been so happy for you.”
Shit. The Dead Dad Card just came out, which means there’s truly no backtracking for Zoey on this one.
“Well, I’ll see if he’s free some time soon, I guess. I mean, not I guess—” Zoey cuts herself off. She really needs to learn when to stop talking. “I will. I will definitely check with him.”
“Don’t make us wait too long,” Maggie says. “It’s been a while since he’s been around.”
“Anyway,” Zoey says, desperate to get out of both the room and the situation, “I’m going to the dining room now, seeing as David has left his wife all alone.”
And with that, she makes her way into the dining room, hand still clutched around a half-filled water glass.
After dinner, when they’re three rounds deep into Monopoly, David leans over across the table and whispers to her, “You know, I’m happy for you and Max. Thought it was never gonna happen.”
“Wh— what do you mean?” Zoey asks, tilting her head.
“We all have eyes, Zo.” He punctuates his statement with an eye roll. “We’ve seen you two around each other, it was only a matter of time.”
It’s Zoey’s turn, so she takes it before replying. (She manages to get herself stuck in jail, but she can’t say she’s invested enough in the game to care.) “Well, I wouldn’t say that. It was really unexpected, you know. Neither of us saw it coming.”
“Well, at least you both have everything out in the open now, right? No more hidden feelings. Clear skies from here on out,” David assures.
Zoey simply nods and replies, “Yep.” She neglects to add on the fact that Max is unaware of their apparent change in relationship status. David may see clear blue, but all Zoey sees are the dark gray storm clouds looming on the horizon.
To: Max the Rich Man, 10:42pm
so
i may have done something stupid tonight
like completely utterly stupid
From: Max the Rich Man, 10:44pm
What kind of stupid? Like, forgot to put the trash out Sunday night stupid? Or forgot to wear close-toed shoes to your lab stupid?
To: Max the Rich Man, 10:45pm
worse
way more stupid than either of those
by like 100%
and it also kinda sorta involves you
From: Max the Rich Man, 10:46pm
What did you do? I’m sure it’s not that bad, Zoey
To: Max the Rich Man, 10:46pm
well
i might have told my whole family that we’re dating
To: Max the Rich Man, 10:50pm
i promise i wasn’t like planning to
it just kind of slipped out and then i was too far into the lie
you know
From: Max the Rich Man, 10:57pm
Um, okay. I’m not sure I really do know. Maybe we should meet tomorrow and talk? It might be more clear in person. Are you free?
To: Max the Rich Man, 10:58pm
yeah!
10 at golden gate grind?
i was in there last week and one of the baristas told me autumn doesn’t work there anymore
so you don’t need to worry about her or anything
no ex-gf freak outs for you, hooray
From: Max the Rich Man, 11:01pm
I didn’t know Autumn quit. Sure, that sounds good
To: Max the Rich Man, 11:02pm
okay, it’s a date
i mean, not a date
just like a meeting between two friends
a plan
you know what i mean
Zoey only gets a thumbs up emoji in reply.
Zoey sits, waiting for Max, tapping the worn wooden table out of nervousness. A gust of chilly October air hits her every time someone opens the door, and she wills her nonfat latte to come faster. The Golden Gate Grind had been their usual coffee spot for years, up until last month when Max started dating one of the baristas, Autumn, and subsequently dumped her. After that, they had started going to another coffee place; if she was being honest, she had missed going to Golden Gate Grind with Max. She was happy to be able to add it back into their usual rotation of spots.
Someone at the table across from her spills their drink, and Zoey is reminded of when she had first met Max. They were both sophomores at UCLA, and had been sitting at the same table in the library. Seeing as Zoey was a software engineering major and Max was studying music, she had no idea who he was and didn’t pay him much attention. Zoey had just finished meticulous organizing her notes for her Calculus final when Max had accidentally spilled his entire venti caramel latte over the whole table, drenching every last piece of paper Zoey had.
Needless to say, some choice words were fired his way.
But Max apologized profusely, and then proceeded to sit with her and help her rewrite her notes. (“I just feel so bad, I’m so sorry,” he had said. “I can help you rewrite them, though? But just a fair warning, I haven’t taken any math past statistics, so I can’t promise I’ll actually understand anything I’m writing.”
“It’s okay,” she had replied. “Thanks for offering the help anyway. I’m Zoey, by the way. Software Engineering.” She stuck out her hand, which she realized was still covered in coffee. Max didn’t seem to care, though, and he shook it anyway.
“I’m Max. I’m in going into music, A.K.A. I’m becoming a huge disappointment to my parents.”
Zoey laughed. “Well, anyone who offers to rewrite notes for a math class they’ve never stepped foot in can’t be too bad, now, can they?”)
Following the fateful Library Incident, as they started calling it, the two became fast friends. After they graduated, Zoey decided to move back to San Francisco. She didn’t have any qualms with her hometown, and frankly, she preferred the tech-oriented city to the narcissism epicenter that seemed to be LA. Max had also found a job in the area, though he promised Zoey it had nothing to do with her. (“It’s a good job, teaching at a private school in Oakland. And it’s a lot less pressure than anything here in L.A. My best friend being in the same vicinity is just an added bonus.”)
Somebody in the coffee shop switches the radio station, and it pulls Zoey out of her thoughts. Before, a peaceful piano song had been drifting through the speakers. Now, however, it seems to be some sort of alt-rock song. It sounds familiar, and Zoey figures she must have heard it through the walls of her neighbor, Mo’s, apartment. Zoey takes a moment to listen to the lyrics.
“We were at the table by the window with the view
Casting shadows the sun was pushing through
Spoke a lot of words I don't know if I spoke the truth
Got so much to lose
Got so much to prove
God, don't let me lose my mind
Trouble on my left
Trouble on my right
I've been facing trouble almost all my life”
Well. Considering her current predicament, Zoey can’t exactly say the lyrics are exactly reassuring.
“Zoey, hey.” She hears a voice call. She looks up to see Max approaching the table. “Sorry I’m late.”
Zoey looks to her watch, which reads 10:07. If she’s being honest, she hadn’t been paying attention to the time and hadn’t realized Max was late.
“Did you sleep through your alarm again?” she asks. “I know getting up before 10:30 on a weekend physically pains you.”
Max smiles, his warm brown eyes crinkling. “It’s honestly scary how well you know me,” he says, sitting down.
“Anyway, it’s fine. I already ordered our drinks, so they should be done any time now.”
“Oh, let me pay you back,” Max says, already reaching for his wallet.
“You don’t have to do that, Max.” Zoey reaches out a hand to Max’s arm, stopping him from getting any money out. As soon as she touches him, she second guesses the movement and retracts her hand. “My treat. Besides, I owe you one, seeing as I told—”
Zoey is interrupted by one of the baristas behind the counter calling out her name.
“I’ll go get those,” she says, taking the excuse to get up from the table. She recognizes the barista who called her name, Cory, from the numerous times she’s been in here.
“Here’re your drinks,” he tells her, handing them over.
Zoey begins to thank him, but she falters when she notices the look he’s shooting over her shoulder, directly at Max. His face is screwed up in a sour expression.
“What?” she asks.
“Isn’t that Autumn’s ex?” he asks, nodding to where Max is sitting at the table.
“Um, yeah,” she says hesitantly, “But I thought she didn’t work here anymore?”
Cory shakes his head. “She doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean the rest of us forgot who he was. She had quite a lot to say about him after he dumped her.”
“Well,” Zoey replies, “the only reason he’s here is because I asked him, and I think it’s safe to say he won’t be doing any favors for me for a while.” She gives him an apologetic smile.
“Alrighty, then. Have a good rest of your day, I guess.”
“Thanks,” Zoey says, even though she knows it’s only going to go downhill from here.
Zoey takes the drinks back over to where Max is still waiting.
“What was that about?” Max asks, taking the drinks from her. “The barista was looking at me like I had run over his cat.”
“Turns out that even though Autumn quit, she had a lot to say about you before she left. So, maybe we should have waited a little longer to come back. Sorry.”
“Ah, that’s too bad,” Max says after taking a sip of his coffee. “I’ve missed coming here with you, though. Receiving a death glare from across the room is a small price to pay.”
Zoey gives him a small smile in reply. They sit there in silence for a moment, neither of them addressing the actual reason they were at the café in the first place.
“So...” Max trails off. He’s looking past Zoey, out the window behind her, but his eyes drift back over to meet hers. “You want to explain why you told your family we’re dating? Because unless I missed something, we’re not.”
“Right,” Zoey says. She tries to think of where to begin. “So, basically, you know Simon?”
“Childhood best friend turned boyfriend for three months who you now only ever hear about through your mothers?”
“That would be the one,” Zoey says. Despite the stiltedness of their current conversation, she can’t help but to laugh at Max’s description. “So, anyway, my mom was talking about how he’s engaged now. And then she was talking about his engagement party, and was all like ‘are you seeing anyone, Zoey?’ which obviously, I’m not. But then David, of course, had to be the typically older brother, and mentioned the fact that I’ll never find someone. Which, side note, it’s kind of demeaning. I mean, why is my worth defined by whether or not I have a man hanging off my arm? Sure, it would be nice to have a boyfriend, but is it really that imperative to my life that—”
“Right, Zoey,” Max cuts her off. “I totally agree. But could you get to the point?”
“Sorry,” Zoey apologizes, “tangent over. So, anyway, I guess I was just thinking about the fact that I wasn’t seeing anyone, but here’s Simon who’s getting married, and David’s teasing me, and I know my mom didn’t mean anything by it, but she was asking, too. I just didn’t want to admit that I really was single, you know? So I was like ‘well, what if I am dating someone?’ and of course they didn’t believe me. So I had to tell them who it was that I was theoretically seeing, and I went with the first name that popped into my head, which—”
“Which was my name,” Max says, finishing her sentence.
“Exactly.”
He only nods in response. He’s looking down at his drink, which he hasn’t taken another sip of since Zoey started talking. Her own drink remains in front of her, just as untouched as Max’s.
“So, let me get this right,” Max eventually says, finally making eye contact with Zoey again. “You accidentally told your brother and mother you were dating someone, because David was teasing you about not having a boyfriend, which somehow turned into you telling them that we’re an item.” He waves his finger between the two of them. “A pretend item, but your family doesn’t know that.”
“Pretty much, that’s basically it,” Zoey says, biting her lip. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal, though. We can just tell them we’re dating for a few weeks, then say it didn’t work out but we’re still going to be friends. No biggie.”
“Right,” Max laughs. It’s not his usual, vibrant one, but it isn’t forced, either. “No biggie. You know, I’m pretty sure the last time anyone used that phrase, Justin Timberlake still had frosted tips.”
Zoey smiles at that. “I’m sorry, Max, I really am. But I promise this doesn’t have to be a weird thing. We’ll just go along with it for a few weeks, and by then we’ll be laughing at all of this. ‘Hey, remember that time I accidentally told my family we were dating, even though we weren’t? That was so funny,’” she says, dragging out the ‘so.’
“All right, then,” Max says. “I mean, I suppose nothing is actually going to change, right?”
“Exactly,” Zoey says, flooded with relief. She gives Max a reassuring smile. “Everything will be back to normal in no time at all.”