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They had been driving for hours, primarily in silence, but a comfortable silence. Besides, what is left to say after what they had just gone through? Billy gripped the wheel, staring ahead at the endless expanse of road and stealing glances at the man sitting beside him in the passenger seat. Thinking of Dan next to him, Billy shuddered at the thought of what might have happened had they not succeeded in stopping the Knot. A sigh escaped Billy’s chest, banishing any “what ifs” from his mind. What mattered was that Dan was alive and safe.
Dan leaned against the window, wanting to think about anything but what they had just gone through. His mind kept trailing back to Billy and how close he came to leaving him. On the Roof O’ the World, Dan was fully prepared to die to protect Abra, even if it meant—and his heart clenched at this thought—he wouldn’t be able to tell Billy that he loved him. His eyes shifted to look at Billy in the driver’s seat, and heat rose to his cheeks.
Both men were unknowingly reflecting on eachother, and the years they had spent by the other’s side. An unspoken love had developed between the two overtime, and both of their hearts ached with the urge to engulf the other and smother him in love and affection. However, life and near-death experiences of course got in the way. Now that all their troubles were behind them, all they could think about was each other and unspoken hopes.
Turning his head, Dan looked at Billy and watched him drive. His mouth fell open as if to say something, but he shut it again and his heart swelled at the sight of the sun casting a radiant glow on Billy. After everything the two went through, they both looked like shit, but that didn’t matter to either of them. The dirt on Billy’s face and the hair sticking out of his ponytail only added to his charm Dan thought. His hand twitched, wanting to reach out and run a hand through Billy’s hair, but he resisted.
“Cat got your tongue?” Billy teased, sensing Dan’s struggle for words.
“No, I— it’s nothing,” Dan murmured, looking away quickly to hide the heat rising to his face.
“Danno, you know you can talk to me right? After what we just went through, I like to think that there isn’t any reason for you to hold back on me. I can tell something’s on your mind so spill.” Quickly glancing at Dan, he smiled softly, taking a hand off the wheel to squeeze Dan’s shoulder reassuringly.
Dan wanted to scream. He wanted to shout and spill his heart, but still he could not find the courage to speak up. Wearing your heart on your sleeve and professing your love was more terrifying than facing vampire cultists that wanted to kill you, apparently. Instead, Daniel Torrance sighed with frustration, leaning his head against the window.
“Talk to me Danno…”
“I can’t,” Dan’s voice floated in Billy’s mind.
“Please?” Billy placed his hand on Dan’s gently. “Would it be easier to talk like this? Through shine?” He thought.
Dan cast a grateful glance to Billy and thought, “Yes, please.” A smile grew on Billy’s face, feeling Dan relax.
“What’s on your mind Dan?”
He looks out the window again, his stomach twisting with nerves. Even in his mind, Dan is at a loss for words. The scenery outside of the car flashes by quickly, miles of cacti and barren ground. Biting his lip, and squeezing his hands into fists, Dan figured it was now or never.
The image of a heart and Dan kissing Billy briefly flashed into Billy’s mind, startling him. “Dan…?” His heartbeat quickened, his face growing darker.
Dan didn’t respond, only looked at Billy with fear on his face but hope and devotion in his eyes. He felt the car slowing down, pulling to the side of the road, and his eyes widened now sure he had made a mistake. A million thoughts flashed through his mind, all of them doubts and insecurities. The car slowed to a stop, and Dan’s mouth opened, pouring with apologies.
“Billy— I’m so sorry, I guess I thought you felt the same or I don’t know I was probably just reading into things,” Dan continued to ramble, not looking Billy in the eye, and tears threatening to spill.
Billy didn’t speak, couldn’t speak, or wouldn’t speak. His gaze fell on Dan, his heart pounding in his ears. The image kept replaying in his head, and his breath felt shallower every second. Faintly, Dan kept apologizing, but it all sounded distant. In a split second, the last eight years replayed in his mind.
Eight years of laughter. Eight years of joy. Eight years of companionship. Eight years of hopeless pining. From the moment he saw Dan admiring the train, only growing when Dan saved his life, and finally now, with Dan sitting across from him in a car admitting to wanting the one thing Billy could never seem to get off his mind. Billy loved Dan; it was what he thought about when he fell asleep and again when he woke up. It wasn’t so much that he was obsessed with the younger man, but he simply couldn’t get enough of him.
“Dan,” Billy sighed, looking at him with a dark flush and widened eyes.
Dan looked up, finally meeting Billy’s eyes, his breath caught in his throat. He was certain Billy was going to tell him to leave, to get out of the car and go back to roaming without a true home like the day they had met. Before he knew it, Billy’s lips crashed against his with desperation, the tears that had soaked Dan’s cheeks dampened Billy’s. When reality hit him, Dan grabbed Billy’s face, deepening the kiss, and laughing against Billy’s lips.
A moment passed and they seperated, leaning their foreheads together and breathing deeply. “Is this real? We didn’t die at the Overlook right?”
“It’s real Danno, I promise. I love you so much. I always have.”
Dan continued to laugh in disbelief, peppering Billy’s face with soft kisses. “I love you too Billy, with all my heart.”
“Let’s get home,” Billy smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Dan’s forehead and starting up the car once more.
Eventually, Dan fell asleep, his head leaning against the window like before. However, for the rest of the ride back to Fraizer, New Hampshire, Billy and Dan’s hands rested against the center console, fingers intertwined.