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Luca wonders when has he become a good person, in general. He has always been the free spirit, the happy-go-lucky-joker who doesn't take anything seriously and ignores just about everything but his own joy. His childhood friend, Norton, to whom he hasn't talked in a long time, always told him to stop fucking around so much and to just take something seriously for once in his life. For starters, Luca doesn't want to take anything as serious as he is asked. There are things, like his closest friends, he wants to care about, and there are other things, like his work or family or everything else, he'd rather not even think about. Fiona had also told him in the past he should start to work on his lack of empathy towards the rest of the people, but Luca didn't even listen to her. He has learned throughout his life that caring so much is only going to bring you trouble.
Then why is he on this situation right now?
He remembers walking into Hell Ember , his go-to bar for a night, calm, alone drink or for a shit-faced night, and seeing a new bartender behind the bar. Demi was talking to the boy with less anger that Luca has ever seen —the guy would even bet she is using a sweet tone by the look on her face and the movement of her lips, but when has Demi been sweet to a man, her major nemesis?— and he kept nodding every single time, nervousness clearly palpable through his every movement. Luca had to admit he was cute, but shy boys aren't his type so he decided not to approach them even though he is friends with Demi. Later that night, he also remembers when a gang of suspicious looking men around their 30’s started mocking the new worker over something Luca didn't get to hear clearly, “ Cat got your tongue?” and “Did someone teach you to speak at primary school?” were all he could get to hear. At the moment, he decided it was better not to intervene, Demi could walk in any moment from now and take down all of those men in a swift movement of her —and it's not like Luca wanted to help anyone, he just liked to fight people in general—.
But when he heard “ He is fucking insufferable, damn. Are you going to talk or are we making you talk? ” and the boy didn't even get his time to answer or to defend himself, being thrown at the floor and the sound of something made of plastic breaking echoing through the room, Luca got up instantly, as if something was pulling him in furiously, and walked over to them with loud steps. After he helped the boy stand up, everything else became blurry —probably the adrenaline making him forget what happened—. All he had to remember it is his purple left eye and the gang running away after whatever he did. He tried asking the boy what was happening, but he shook his head and pointed at his mouth, then an “X” with his arms. “ You can't talk? ” Luca asked and the blonde boy nodded, pointing again towards broken shreds of plastic over the floor, gestured something and pointed towards his throat again. The boy opened his mouth, scared, and showed Luca how he could barely fucking breathe—heck, he couldn't breathe at all. Luca took his hand and run off immediately towards the first pharmacy he knows near Hell Ember, blood rushing fiercely through all his veins and feeling how crazily his heart was beating.
And so here he is, carrying a boy he doesn't even know on his back and running as if his life depended on it —actually, the blonde’s kind of did— towards the nearest pharmacy. He has been lucky he decided to go to Hell Ember earlier today, to see if Fiona or William were hanging out there.
Luca feels something on his chest, something he has never really experimented and wonders what the actual fuck that feeling is. It pinches his heart right there and kind of hurts, but also encourages him to run faster, to concentrate more on the boy on his back. He wonders if that is what being worried about something, someone feels like.
After arriving and buying with his own money the inhaler, he sits the boy in a near bench and gives him the artefact delicately, scared to break him. He holds the boy’s back still and also grabs his hair seeming the blonde can't even support his head’s weight right now, and Luca feels satisfied when he sees the boy working on the inhaler and being able to start breathing more properly.
“Thank you” the boy mouths, his voice is broken and raspy, barely audible too, and Luca jumps on his sit, shocked. He opens his eyes as much as he can and asks himself if he has magic hands to make a mute person talk again.
“Weren't you… uh...—y’know” he has never dealt with anyone with this type of physical restraint so he doesn't know if the word might be triggering. He decides to drop the hint better than saying anything.
“I’m not,” he says, averting his gaze from Luca, clearly shy “at least not entirely. I have difficulties talking but I can do it” the boy explains, his cheek a tinted flush pink that makes Luca coo silently. “It's the asthma.”
“I see. I hope it doesn't get much worse with the years, then. I'm glad I was helpful” he says, genuinely, and surprises his own self because when has he ever been thankful because of something like this? “See you around then, uh…”
“Victor! And really? How can I repay you? I want to pay back for the inhaler too! I—” Victor starts coughing and Luca touches his shoulder reassuringly.
“It was nothing, boy. You can just use it and go, it ain't much money to begin with. You need it” Victor's expression seems sad, probably because he wanted to repay Luca with something, but his shimmering eyes say otherwise. Luca smiles. “See you, Victor. Try to kick some butts next time someone mocks you, you're too cute not to defend yourself” he confesses, winks at Victor’s flushed face —or body, he has become too red— and just goes away, a weird but comforting feeling in his heart he doesn't know how to call.
Some days pass by, and Luca wonders why is he so eager to go to Hell Ember today at Fiona’s invitation. She wants to have a drink and talk about life with Luca, and who is he to deny her? But rather than wanting to see her, he is looking for something else he sure doesn’t want to say out loud or accept he is thinking about. He is not one to get emotionally attached nor seek for someone, he must be the one seeked.
He arrives in time —surprisingly since he doesn’t look like the punctual type— and greets Fiona with two kisses on the cheek, mostly out of tradition. She is even prettier than the last day he saw the girl, how does she do it? Her skin looks smooth and soft, her eyes and make up are perfectly coordinated, her outfit stands her whole body out…. Luca wishes he was this good at taking care of himself.
“What the fuck happened to your eye, Luca?” she asks abruptly first, takes a closer look on his eye and triest touching it out of curiosity. Luca slaps her hand away.”
“Nothing, someone tried to rob me last week. I beat them up though” he says normally, as if lying was his usual thing to do. “What were we talking about today anyways?” Fiona doesn’t press the subject any further. Luca takes a sit in front of her. She looks kind of nervous, but by the shimmer of her eyes and the shy smile on her lips Luca knows it’s something good.
“Uh… Remember Emily?” Luca nods.
“The girl on the science major you had a crush on? Of course I do, you were the worst lesbian around her” Fiona clicks her tongue. Luca chuckles.
“We… Um— Started dating?” the boy gets up, shocked, but at the same time disappointed he was not told until now “For about… three months, yeah” she giggles softly, and Luca forgives her because she is the cutest.
“Bro, you did that! Fiona, I’m glad. You got your girl, you deserve it” Luca announces, sitting again and clapping his hands.
“And… that’s not all. Remember Emma?”
Luca hums. “Her ex? Well, they were a couple in college but I assume they broke up—I hope… I hope you are not a homewrecker, girl”
“No, they haven’t” Luca arches his eyebrow, dumbfounded. “We are all a couple, like…a poly couple? The three of us—we are girlfriends” she confesses. Luca quickly gets up fast again but this time to hug the hell out of that girl. He is just so happy she finally found her ideal one—her ideal ones. This is what he meant by caring just for who he wants to care about. This enormous joy feels amazing.
“Deserve, girl! Fiona got two hands, babe! I’m so happy for you” he continues to hug the girl when he feels someone approach them and knock on the table. They separate and what he sees is the same boy from days ago—Vicor, was it?—wearing this place’s uniform and some clips on his hair to maintain his bangs still. He looks even cuter than Luca remembers but he promised himself not to get attached to anyone. Just fucking around, Luca, just fucking around, he always tells himself.
“Uhm— Do you want anything?” the boy says, weaker than the other day. Luca gets instantly worried but decides not to act on it, much less in front of Fiona.
“Whisky? Ron? It’s on me, Fiona, to celebrate your relationship” he doesn’t know why he felt the need to point out his partner for the night had a significant other(s) in front of the boy but he said it already and there’s nothing he can do now.
“No— I-it’s on me, sir. I remember you from the other day” Victor tries to say, breathing deeply as he talks with difficulty. “This is my way to repay you. You can get everything you want” Fiona looks at Luca confused, and goes to whisper in his ear.
“Did you suck his dick?” he mumbles. Knowing Luca he must have done something like this to get someone so hooked up on him.
“What? No. He seems pure, Fiona. I don't corrupt people” Luca is talking in his normal tone and Victor hears it loud and clear, he whispers a “ Pardon?” that both friends ignore to continue arguing.
“Then did he suck your dick? Did you dick him down? Was it that good he is thankful ?” Fiona keeps babbling and Luca is just tired of her shit. How can such an amazing girl be this burdensome some times?
“He didn't suck no one’s—” Luca actually forgets the boy is right there , probably hearing everything they have been saying right now and finds himself getting embarrassed and shying away from Victor’s confused —and cute, extremely cute— look. “Just— Get us a bottle of whisky, Victor, we will talk about who pays later” Victor nods and after bowing, he goes away.
“Victor? You remember his name? Oh boy, he has you around his finger, man” she mocks, winking at Luca and trying to tickle his side. Luca dodges her attack and chuckles sarcastically.
“Well, yes. I do remember, but it's because—” he can't actually come up with an excuse that would make it seem as if Victor didn't leave him with a special feeling blossoming on his stomach “I just helped him buy an inhaler. It's not always I buy a cute boy an inhaler, y’know?” he explains, and all Fiona does is elbow him.
“Cute boy, hm? Are we finally going to experience a settled-down Luca?” Luca shakes his head. First, he has no crush whatsoever over this boy. Second, until Norton is back with them he is not settling down with anyone. “Agh, Luca, it's fine if you like him, you know? He seems like a good boy that couldn't even hurt a fly. Feelings are okay, just let it flow and stop being a dick about everything” he didn't come here to get his personality lectured, so he gets up and goes to the bathroom to calm his anger down. Deep down he knows Fiona is right. He has never had real feelings towards anyone he has found attractive. He just likes to play around, a lot, and not getting attached to anyone because that will mean strictly hurting your feelings and Luca hates not feeling content.
He washes his face on the sink and watches himself on the mirror. The purple eye is getting lighter, but he can't open his eye successfully yet and he must confess it fucking hurts— he neither knows why in Earth did he sacrifice seeing through his left eye for a boy he doesn't know. Yet there is the lingering feeling on his chest and stomach that tells him to finally give up and get to know the boy.
The door swings open and he dares to look who came into. It has to, of course, be his trouble boy.
“Oh, you are here—” he opens his mouth and under the dim lights of the bathroom, all he can focus is on how plump and soft they must be under his. “I left what you ordered with your friend. She seems upset… you should go to her”
“Don't lecture me too, boy” he exclaims, exasperated. “Y'all telling me do this, do that. I hate being told what to do. She shouldn't have had to judge me on how I act for starters, she's the one in the wrong ” he says even though he is aware she isn't “and you,” he points at Victor, mildly accusingly “you shouldn't want to stick with me at all. I know the likes of you and feelings are a pain in the ass, for real. Want a kiss from me? Then fine, but just forget about me” Luca continues and all Victor is hear him rant, not feeling hurt in the slightest by what he is saying because the guy seems angry and probably doesn't mean it. “Say something!”
“I was listening, sir” he whispers, his voice as light as a feather. “You seemed like you needed someone to hear all you have to say” and Luca knows he is correct. Everyone is correct about him and that's what he hates the most. He wants to keep his stupid, fuckboy facade; that's how he has been surviving all his life without getting his feelings hurt by anyone.”I can listen to you all you w—” Luca knows what he was going to say, but he can't finish his sentence because the boy starts coughing violently, supporting his body on the sink Luca is near. Luca gets worried about him, again, and he hates it.
Luca immediately gets on his knees just besides Victor’s coughing and trembling body. “Do you have the inhaler with you?” Victor’s shakes his head as much as he can and Luca quickly stands up again and runs towards the staff room. No one seems to be there, and it’s better that way so he doesn’t have to come up with any excuses —he assumes Victor didn’t tell anyone about his problem— and the boy starts to look for the blonde’s bag straight away. He didn’t get a look at how it looked like the other day, but seen as how Victor personality was, he thinks the one with a cute dog enamel pin is the right bag —hopefully.
When he finds the inhaler, he shuts the staff room’s door behind him down without even zipping up the bag again. Luca is sweating all over —his hands feel slippery and his bang nearly stick to his forehead from it, but when he arrives to the bathroom and helps Victor in the exact same way he did the other day, he feels relieved and happy . He feels genuinely happy Victor is okay, in fact he feels content, joyful. Luca feels like hugging Victor and so he does, his eyes getting teary and a weird sensation climbing up his body—he knows what it is, and he knows it’s because he cares about Victor that he is feeling sad and happy at the same time. He was worried.
“Do you feel better?” he asks, letting the worryness slip right through his lips and not even caring anymore. Victor nods, pointing his finger at his throat and doing an “X” once again. “You can’t talk now?” Victor nods. “It’s fine. I’m just glad you are okay.” he confesses, conscious of what he just said. It feels good letting your actual feelings out, but why is he softening up to this boy in particular?
“Luca?” a voice behind them talks and Luca knows who it exactly is. The tone is worried and instantly moves down to match their height. “What happened? Are you okay? I saw Luca running to the staff room and I was confused” Fiona explains, patting Victor’s shoulder delicately at seeing the boy slightly trembling and hugging his knees. Victor flinches at first, he hasn’t ever been one to enjoy people’s closeness but Fiona doesn’t scare him away. Neither does Luca.
“I— I really don’t know how to explain this, Fiona. A long story. Can I take him to the staff room? I’m sending him home” Victor looks up at Luca and shakes his head several times. He doesn’t want to go, he needs to work his full shift, he needs the money not only for his mother but also for taking care of his dog. He doesn’t want to go at all. “Hey, hey. Slow down, tiger. I am sending you home, Victor. I will work your shift if that’s what you want, but you are definitely not working anymore today. Did this attack happen too the other day?” Victor shys away from Luca’s piercing gaze and timidly nods. “You should have asked for help earlier, Demi is a good woman even though she seems kinda scary. She will understand what goes on, I’m sure.” Luca says, making more time until he fully thinks what he wants to say next, what he is scared to say next. “I… I can always help you, too. If you need help, of course” he scratches the back of his neck getting shy all over. This is a first for him after all. But telling Victor he can be there for him seems right, feels right. Victor moves his hands in what Luca assumes is sign language.
“He says thank you” Fiona, who is somehwat familiar with that language, talks from behind Luca, feeling so proud of him.
Luca blushes and grabs Victor’s arm quickly, wanting to change the topic. “Well, let’s take you to the staff room. Fiona, wait for me, we are coming back to our conversation as soon as I get back” he takes Victor to the staff room, this time shutting the door with less force than before but still making an echoed metal sound.
Luca wonders, once again, how he got into this situation. He has never been one to stick to people he is not familiar with. He has always enjoyed playing around and being the carefree soul everyone knows him as. But now he is starting to question all his life’s philosophy just because a cute boy he has helped has made him feel something he was lacking. And oh, god, how cute this boy is. Luca can spend the whole day watching him do exactly nothing —like right now, Victor is just looking at him from above, since he is a little taller than Luca and he just noticed. How can a boy this tall feel so tiny around him, Luca asks himself. His height just makes Victor seem even cuter though, or it is maybe because at Luca’s eye Victor just looks cute in general. Victor smiles at him, the warmest smile he has ever seen, and this time Luca knows exactly what to do.
“Victor, answer sincerely. Don’t lie because I was your savior the other day or whatever shit,” he starts, letting finally go of Victor’s arm he hasn’t noticed he was still holding “can I kiss you? Like, right now. I mean, in general too of course, but like I want to kiss you right now. To prove something, that is” he hears Victor breathy chuckle and it just makes him more eager for the boy to nod and let Luca kiss him.
However, before Luca gets an answer, Victor grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him into a kiss, the softest kiss Luca has ever had. And it feels good, Luca gets tickles on his stomach and can’t suppress the tender smile his lips form during the kiss. He moves one of his hands over Victor’s cheek and the other towards his waist, both caressing the part they are over delicately. Luca drowns in this sensation. It feels good and right and just perfect . He would melt into it every single day if he could. After they separate, Victor walks over to his bag and grabs a paper and a pen from inside. With them, he starts scribbling something down Luca can’t even get to see because he is frozen on his feet, the lingering sensation of Victor’s soft, honey lips over his as vivid as seconds ago.
Luca knows Victor is finished when he turns over and smiles at him, again so warmly Luca could just melt at the sight. He hands the paper over and before Luca can see what is written down, Victor kisses him on the cheek and walks away while putting on the bag over his head. Luca catches at a quick gaze how flushed Victor’s face is, too, so he decides to better not follow after him. Socializing must be tiring for him.
With flushed cheeks and feeling like a teenager love film main character, Luca looks at what is written down in the most polished and elegant handwriting he has ever seen: “Text me if you want XXX XXX XXX, thank you for putting up with me. The kiss was soft, I wouldn’t mind doing it again. Victor” and besides his name there’s a cute little heart that Luca coos at.
The boy sighs, derrotated, because he has indeed become what he promised to never be. But he is happy nevertheless, and puts down the note inyo his pocket, holding it tightly inside it as if it was the most precious gift he has ever received.
“I’m a fucking loser” he mumbles, laughing at himself heading towards the bar to work on Victor’s shift, “but I think I just scored myself the cutest boy”