Work Text:
Vanessa didn’t get jealous. She really didn’t. That was such a strong word. More like, she expected people to respect boundaries. When people didn’t, she had a tendency to get upset. But that didn’t happen often, and she wasn’t jealous, nope, not jealous...
Brooke and Vanessa had been dating for a year and a half when Kaylie came into the picture. Kaylie was the girl that helped Brooke teach her dance class. She was really pretty, which made Vanessa nervous. She had dark hair, and olive skin, but what really caught Vanessa was her eyes. Her eyes matched Brooke’s. They were light and pretty.
Kaylie and Brooke hit it off and became very close, very fast. Suddenly, all of Brooke’s stories that used to start with “Vanessa” now started with “Kaylie…” and the name was starting to leave a sour taste in Vanessa’s mouth. She would just smile and nod and try to move on. She didn’t want to start a fight. Brooke would light up the way she used to when she’d talk about Vanessa, a look on her face that Vanessa didn’t see much anymore. Brooke was clueless, and Vanessa, she most definitely not jealous.
Vanessa was putting the final touches on dinner when Brooke walked through the door after a long rehearsal. Vanessa smiled, relieved to see her girlfriend, but the smile faded quickly when she saw that she wasn’t alone. Kaylie.
“Hey Ness, I asked Kaylie to come over to help with some choreo, hope you don’t mind.”
Vanessa steeled herself, put on her best smile, “not at all, hi Kaylie.”
Maybe Vanessa imagined it, but Kaylie gave her a tight-lipped smile and a small wave.
“I made dinner, hope you’re hungry,” Vanessa says.
“Oh,” Brooke’s face falls, “we got salads on the way home, I’m not really hungry right now.”
Vanessa’s heart burns, and her stomach drops, “oh, okay, no problem. I’ll just take leftovers for lunch...for the next week.”
Brooke, who is oblivious to Vanessa’s sass, smiles and kisses her cheek and leads Kaylie out to the patio while Vanessa eats dinner alone.
~*~
Brooke’s life revolved around dance for as long as she could remember. Then, she met Vanessa, and she was screwed from the start. This tiny, fiery Puerto Rican had her heart from the moment they locked eyes. They were at the dance center. Brooke had finished teaching her ballet class to the first graders, and Vanessa was done with her hip hop class. It was her first one, and the teens seemed to really like her. She was filling up her water bottle, chatting away with the yoga instructor, Pearl, at the water cooler when Brooke was walking down the hall. She wasn’t really paying attention, and neither was Vanessa. Vanessa whipped around to head down the hall and crashed into the tall blonde, knocking her to the ground.
“Shit! I’m so sorry, Mary! You good? You ain’t broke nothin did ya?” Vanessa shouts, eyes full of concern for her victim before her.
Brooke’s thoughts fly straight out of her head, she’s caught off guard by the beautiful girl in front of her.
“I- um, yeah I’m good,” Brooke says, kind of dazed.
“You sure? ‘Cause you still sittin on the dirty ass floor.”
Brooke looks around for a second like she’s startled. Vanessa holds her hand out for Brooke to take, and if they both feel a spark when their skin touches, neither one of them mentions it.
For days, and maybe even weeks, after their first encounter, Brooke could only think of the caramel-skinned brunette from the hip hop class. Yes, she knew which class Vanessa taught. Don’t judge her.
She’d try to sneak peeks in the window, just trying to gather the courage to say hi. Brooke noticed little things. It seemed Vanessa’s favorite Starbucks drink was a Mocha Frappuccino, and Vanessa spotted little grey hairs all over Brooke’s black dance leggings one day so that told her that maybe Brooke had a cat? She hoped so.
Brooke decided that one Wednesday she was just going to bite the bullet and make a move. She got Vanessa a coffee and got to the dance center a little early. Vanessa sat in the middle of her own classroom, earbuds in, and music loud as she stretched out her muscles. She had the world tuned out as she focused on getting ready. Brooke knocked on the door, she was afraid to startle the younger girl. Vanessa didn’t seem to hear her, but she did see her.
Her face lit up and it was the prettiest thing Brooke had ever seen.
“Hi, blondie.” Vanessa smiled.
“Hey, brought you coffee.”
Vanessa was touched, “thank you.” She blushed a little.
There was a short silence and they both looked around the room, it wasn’t awkward though.
“Is it good?” Brooke asked after Vanessa took her first sip. Vanessa smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, it’s perfect. You didn’t have to get me anything.”
Brooke just shrugged bashfully.
“Can I-” Vanessa said at the same time Brooke said, “Would you-”
They look at each other, blushing. Vanessa gestures, “go on,” she says.
“Would you l-like to go to dinner? With me? Would you like to go to dinner with me?”
Vanessa smiled her brightest smile and Brooke took that as a yes.
~*~
Brooke doesn’t bring her coffee anymore. It’s not that she doesn’t want to or she doesn’t care. She just forgets. Vanessa’s taste has changed so much that she doesn’t really know what she drinks anymore.
Brooke is heading to the center, and she stops by the coffee shop to get a chai latte for herself, and a black tea for Kaylie. She arrives and Vanessa is at the water cooler filling her bottle in between classes.
"Hi baby," she says, her face lighting up. A sour feeling flooded Brooke's stomach when she realized she doesn't have anything for her girlfriend.
"Hey Ness." Brooke gave a weak smile and pressed a soft kiss to Vanessa's cheek.
"You brought me...tea?" Vanessa asks, confused because she doesn't drink tea.
"Oh, I, uhm, didn't know if you wanted anything, or if you needed anything and I owed Kaylie a drink because she got me coffee last week so I picked it up for her." Brooke stammers.
The girl's name is like a slap in the face and Vanessa tries not to show the hurt it causes her.
"But I have some time before my class I can go get you something?" Brooke offers.
Vanessa shakes her head, "Don't worry about it." She presses a quick kiss to Brooke's cheek and rushes off to her classroom to get ready.
Brooke lets out a sigh of relief because Vanessa’s not mad and heads off to find Kaylie.
Vanessa shuts the door of her classroom behind her and looks at the clock. She has thirty minutes until her students start showing up. She locks the door and sinks to the floor, the empty feeling returns to her chest once more.
Vanessa lets herself have a short cry before her students start arriving and she has to paste a smile on her face. Her class is just the distraction she needs.
So maybe she is a little jealous. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, and it's not the only green-eyed monster that is interfering with her relationship right now.
~*~
"Brookie, don't forget about Friday."
Brooke's brain was going a mile a minute, but she couldn't think of what they had going on.
"What's Friday?" She finally asked.
"Silky's birthday? We are going to dinner?" Vanessa said with an eyebrow raised.
"Right! Light bulb, duh, sorry babe. Yes I remember." Brooke nods.
Vanessa gave Brooke a skeptical look but knew that she was almost late for her class so she nodded and headed out the door after a quick goodbye kiss.
Friday rolls around and Vanessa's last class runs late, just like it usually did on Fridays, meaning she had to get ready at the dance center and head to dinner from there. She checks her phone- no word from Brooke.
V: Hey, dinner is at 6:30, don't forget.
She hits send, finishes her makeup, and heads to the restaurant. There's no reply from Brooke when she gets there so she goes inside to her friends.
"Bitches!" Vanessa shouts, walking up to her friend group on the sidewalk, and for the first time in weeks, her heart feels light as she looks into the eyes of Silky and A’keria.
“It’s about time yo ass got here, Vanj, now the party can really start!” Silky shouts.
Vanessa’s face turns a little red, they’re going to get kicked out of this place, she can already tell.
“Where’s yo girl?” Silky continues.
“Oh, um, she’s- well I ain’t sure, but I think she comin,” Vanessa tried to keep the sadness out of her voice, and she thinks it works when Silky just nods, but when A’keria gives her the mom look, Vanessa knows she knows something isn’t right.
A’keria gives her a pat on the shoulder and a reassuring smile.
“Well, let’s go get our table before some other hoe takes it.” Silky booms.
Vanessa checks her phone again on the way to the table and her heart sinks when there’s still no text from her girlfriend.
They ordered their drinks and appetizers, and Vanessa was starting to get worried. They’re halfway through their second round of drinks when Brooke finally showed up. When Vanessa sees she’s not alone, she almost throws up.
“Hey guys! Hey Silky, happy birthday!” Brooke gave Silky a quick hug before sitting down next to Vanessa and kissing her cheek, “guys, I hope it’s okay, I brought a friend. This is Kaylie, we teach together at the center.”
Kaylie waves at everyone and started animatedly talking to Silky.
“You couldn’t text me back? I was worried sick B.” Vanessa whispered.
“Sorry, Ness, my phone died.”
Vanessa used all of her willpower to not roll her eyes, instead she flagged down the waitress and ordered another drink. A’keria looked at her friend with soft eyes, Vanessa was hurting and she knew it.
Dinner wasn’t bad, but it depended on who you asked. For Silky, it was a great birthday. For Vanessa, she wanted to hide under the table. Every word that came out of Kaylie’s mouth was a giant eye roll in Vanessa’s opinion. Everyone seemed to love her though.
“Oh my god,” Brooke laughed, “tell them about the third-grader in class today!”
Kaylie let’s out a shrill laugh, (okay so it wasn’t a shrill laugh but it sounded that way to Vanessa), “so she-”
Vanessa stood up abruptly, she didn’t want to listen to Kaylie, mumbled she had to go to the bathroom, and headed that way. She fought off the tears until the door shut safely behind her. She was only in there for a few minutes when A’keria comes in.
“Baby, what’s goin on?” A’keria says in her softest voice.
Vanessa didn’t say anything, she just buried her face in A’keria’s neck, and her friend wrapped her in a much needed hug.
“I don’t know, Kiki, all of a sudden Brooke is always with her and bringing her coffee and hanging out and I don’t exist! I think I’m losing her. But at the same time I know I’m just overthinking things. What’s going on with me, Kiki? I’m never jealous! Never!”
“Sometimes love makes us feel different emotions, baby, you just love Brooke and you feel threatened. It’s a defense mechanism. It’s gonna be okay, baby, I promise.”
A’keria held onto her friend and let her cry a little longer before Vanessa fixed her makeup and they went back out to the table.
Kaylie was talking about college, and Vanessa ordered another drink.
By the time dinner was over, Vanessa was tipsy, and there was no way she was in a state to drive home. So A’keria, who rode with Silky, followed in Vanessa’s car while Vanessa rode with Brooke and Kaylie, who was apparently spending the night for some reason that Vanessa didn’t understand.
Brooke, Vanessa, and Kaylie get inside and Vanessa checks the time. It’s almost 9:30. Brooke usually has an early class and likes to start getting ready for bed around this time so Vanessa expects her to follow her towards the bedroom. When she doesn’t, Vanessa is confused.
“B? You comin to bed?”
“Nah, I’m not that tired, I’m going to stay up and watch a movie with Kaylie I think. You want to join us?”
Vanessa felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. Brooke rarely breaks her evening routine. So she just shakes her head and walks to the bedroom without so much as a goodnight. Vanessa did her nightly routine as she normally would, except this time, she’s alone. She crawls in bed and curls up into herself. Rarely does she feel so empty, so small. Normally she’s confident, and she owns that. She just wanted everything to go back to normal. She hoped that Brooke would never actually cheat on her, and she trusts Brooke, but with her actions lately, Vanessa feels more and more insecure.
As she laid there trying to sleep, she heard Brooke and Kaylie giggling down the hall in the living room, and she finally let the unshed tears she’s been holding in since she cried to A’keria fall down her cheeks onto her pillow.
~*~
Weeks pass with no changes from Brooke, and Vanessa feels like a ticking time bomb. Everyday she felt worse and worse, and Brooke was still clueless. Vanessa didn't want to give up though, not until she exhausted all of her options. On Thursdays, she didn't have afternoon classes and she was able to come home and cook dinner. Before leaving the dance center, she stopped in Brooke's classroom to remind her. Her girlfriend stood with Kaylie, and Vanessa had to suppress an eye roll.
"Hey B," Vanessa said, keeping the annoyance out of her voice.
"Hey Ness," Brooke kissed her girl hello and Vanessa could've swore Kaylie made a face, "What's up?"
"Just wanted to remind you to come home right after your last class, I'm cooking dinner." Vanessa beams.
Brooke smiles back, "sounds good, baby. I'll see you in a few hours."
They kissed again and Vanessa headed out the door.
~*~
"Alright, guys, that's enough for today!" Said Brook to the class as she clapped her hands. 15 little girls in tutus cheered as they rushed to their bags, said their goodbyes, and headed for the door.
"Hey Brooke," Kaylie called as Brooke was getting her things together, "let's go out for a drink."
Brooke paused for a minute in order to think, she's supposed to go home for dinner. She checks the time, "I suppose I have time for a drink."
Brooke grabs her bag and follows Kaylie outside and to their cars.
They head to one of their favorite spots and order a drink each. One drink turns into two, and two into three until Brooke’s phone lightens up with a text from Vanessa.
V: um, B, you comin home or?
"Shit!" Brooke said, "Vanessa is going to kill me!"
"Oh, right, dinner." Kaylie sounded bored, her tone sharp as if it had no matter to her.
"I have to go."
"Are you sure?" Kaylie whined.
"Yeah, I promised. God, I feel terrible, she's probably worried sick."
"She keeps you on a tight leash doesn't she?"
"Well, no, not at all actually."
"Sure seems like it."
"Listen," Brooke cuts her off, disregarding where this is going, "I have to go, see you tomorrow!"
Brooke rushed out the door. Shit, Vanessa was going to kill her.
She made it home in record time. The lights were off and the apartment was quiet.
"This is bad." Brooke said to herself, "Ness?"
No answer. Brooke walked down the hall towards the bedroom. The door was shut but there was a light on. She opened the door to find Vanessa curled up on her own side, looking so, so small.
"Nessa?"
Vanessa's response only in sniffles.
"Nessa, baby, I'm so sorry." Brooke said, moving to kneel in front of her girlfriend.
Vanessa avoided her eyes and it broke the older’s heart further.
"Baby, look at me..."
Vanessa closed her eyes, "I can't. I just can't right now. I don't know how much more of this I can take, Brooke Lynn."
Brooke was beyond confused. This? What did Vanessa mean?
"Everyday, every single day I break a little more. How much longer til you just fucking leave me for her?"
"Nessa what are you talking about?" Brooke's tone becomes sharp.
Surely, Vanessa wasn't referring to Kaylie.
"You know damn well what I'm talkin bout, Brooke, you been choosin’ her over me ever since you became friends."
"Vanessa that's ridiculous! No I haven't!"
"Yes you have, you just too blind to see it!" Vanessa's voice dripped with venom, "you been different towards me, B, you forget ‘bout dates, you're always bringing’ her home with you, actually, you're always bringin’ her everywhere. Is it wrong of me to want you to myself sometimes?"
"I know what this is. You're jealous."
"I ain't jealous, you just ain't been treatin me right lately, B."
Brooke let out an exasperated sigh and shaked her head, and simply said "you're being stupid!"
The second the words are out of her mouth, Brooke wanted to take them back. Especially after she saw the pain in Vanessa's eyes.
Vanessa has had enough. Tears pool in her eyes as she climbed out of bed, walked over to the bathroom, and locked herself.
As soon as she's inside, the tears fall. "You're being stupid!" replaying in her head over and over again.
Brooke sat on the edge of the bed, head in her hands. She hated that she caused Vanessa this much pain. She goes over the last few months in her head, and it all hit her like a punch in the gut. She felt nauseous. She had been so oblivious, so wrapped up in this new friendship, that she didn't see what it was doing to the girl she loves. She started bringing Kaylie coffee and stopped bringing Vanessa. She brought Kaylie into their home all the time. She used to have a strict schedule that she wouldn't break for anybody, except for Vanessa when they first started dating, but she's been breaking her rules for Kaylie. She doesn't see Kaylie in a romantic way, but lately she has started to feel the platonic feeling wasn’t mutual. The decision was easy. She wasn't going to let Kaylie come between her and her girl anymore. She was going to make this right.
Brooke stood up and walked to the bathroom door, she knocked softly until she got an answer.
"Nessa, baby, I'm sorry, please open the door."
She heard shuffling, sniffling, and then the door opened, revealing a red faced and puffy eyed Vanessa. Brooke held her hand out and she took it.
They sat on the side of the bed and Brooke wrapped her arms around the smaller girl.
"I'm sorry," Brooke whispered it like a prayer into the top of Vanessa's head.
Vanessa finally lifted her head and looked at Brooke.
"It's not that I don't trust you," she starts, "I don't want you to think that. I just felt like you had one foot out the door, and I didn't like it."
"You don't have to explain baby, I understand. You felt ignored, and it's all my fault. I'd take it back if I could. I'm going to do better, though, I promise. You deserve better."
Brooke pressed a kiss to Vanessa's forehead.
"I love you so much, Ness, and I'm sorry that you haven't felt it lately."
Vanessa didn’t know what else to say, so she just sticks to a soft "I love you too" and that was enough for Brooke.
Brooke promises herself and Vanessa to tell Kaylie she needs to find another class to teach, (" but that can wait until tomorrow because tonight is about us, about you.") and then she took Vanessa's hand and guides her to the living room.
"Have a seat on the couch baby, pick the fuzziest blanket and find something good on Netflix, I'll get our dinner on plates and some drinks. Do you want wine?" Brooke asked.
Vanessa's heart swells with love and she nods. Vanessa sat on the couch and scrolled through Netflix originals while Brooke served their dinner. Vanessa finally felt like she could breathe again, the knots in her chest untangling and the emptiness is filling up with love.
She sees the light and everything was going to be okay.