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Leviathan was defeated.
Lex and Lillian were arrested.
Lena was CEO of L-Corp again and the world hated the Luthors.
All was normal again.
Lena scoffed into her whiskey tumbler, letting the bitter and familiar taste glide past as she savoured a moment of normalcy.
Kara Danvers is Supergirl.
Well, ok… not everything was back to normal.
Lena heaved a sigh. She apologized and apologized and Kara said it was time to forgive. Lena saved her. They shook hands.
And yet, staring at Kara’s team back in the lab, she still could not get rid of the feeling that things were still not right.
But did it matter?
Lena left Lex and Kara forgave her.
Lex…
“How dare you!”
Lena quickly cut off that memory as she fought to suppress the shudders it brought.
Leaving Lex was the one thing she never doubted to be correct.
On hindsight, the revelation that Kara could hurt her to the point of turning back to him, knowing all that he had done, was sobering. Or maybe the guilt of killing him clouded everything, and the chance that presented to her, where he was kind and supportive, like old times, was what she needed so desperately after Kara’s duplicity was revealed.
Now?
Lena stared at the pristine furnishing of her penthouse.
She was alone.
Lex never wanted her. Kara was never hers, she thought, and now, more so than ever. She thought back to Kara’s outburst in her lab. She tried to brush off her attempts to reminisce but Lena knew Kara was just bursting at the seams to let it out.
And so she kept pushing.
Kara was so angry with her.
“I made one mistake! And you hurt me in every way imaginable.”
Lena sighed again.
Kara was right.
She wasn’t able to see then, but Kara never intentionally sought out to hurt Lena. Whereas Lena retaliated in the harshest way with that specific purpose in mind.
But somewhere deep down, she couldn’t help but feel, that one mistake… was everything.
Lena closed her eyes and downed the remaining contents of her tumbler. She cannot go down this line of thought again. Kara had every right to be angry at her. She just hopes…
She doesn’t even know what she hopes for right now.
In the past, after Lex’s mass murder spree, she knew her family had sins to repay, and she worked so hard for it. But look at what she has gotten for it? It was the right thing to do, but she was just so so tired.
People expected things from her yet constantly kept waiting for her to make a mistake and condemn her for it.
But Kara was there. Kara was unwavering in her support.
Until Lex…
The doorbell sounded before she could spiral into memories of recent events again.
“Andrea?”
The person on the other side gave a tentative smile. The only other person who was in the same shit after Leviathan and Lex’s plans were unveiled.
Obsidian North took a hard hit too.
“What are you doing here?” Lena stood aside to let her in. “Shouldn’t you be busy helping your father save the company?”
“It’s 10pm Lena.” Andrea replied dryly while helping herself to the bottle left on the island. “You seem…” Andrea surveyed the room and the single whisky tumbler Lena left on the coffee table. “Surprisingly unbothered by current state of affairs.”
Lena shrugged.
This time the damage was minimal. This time, Lex was stopped before catastrophe happened. It’s going to be a piece of cake compared to the last time.
Plus, the company really wasn’t that important to her.
“If the board wants to fire me, so be it. Good luck to the next person taking over.”
Andrea smiled. This Lena was so different from the one back then.
“So, anyways, how can I help you?”
“Is it all about that for you now?” Andrea frowned.
Lena blinked. It was a habit. People only dropped by to ask her for help, for things. Or they simply don’t. Except for Kara but…
“I’m sorry, it’s just a habit. You know…” Lena gestured, trying to play it down. But she caught herself, finally giving Andrea a good look.
Andrea looked tired and tentative.
So Lena took a deep breath and conceded.
“It’s been a long while since a friend visited.”
That earned her a genuine smile.
“Well then, shall we start with your favourite bottle of scotch?”
They shared a knowing smile, as Lena thought, maybe some good came out of all this mess. Maybe she finally broke through the Luthor way of handling betrayals, as this first small step back towards Andrea did not seem as difficult as it would be.
Some sense of relief came with simply lazing on her couch with her ex-best friend (or was it ex-ex best friend?) and complaining about company politics and rich lazy white old men and reminiscing wild frivolous adventures.
“Maybe we should go skydiving again?”
“You know my thoughts on that.”
“What? I can catch you now you know? Poof~ You’ll be perfectly safe!”
Lena and Andrea were so drunk, they completely missed the flowing red cape right outside the balcony taking off into the night sky.
“Where’s Lena?” Alex, as always, was the first to notice Kara’s presence.
The Superfriends were gathered in J’onn’s tower after they had rescued Brainy. Nia’s dream led them to that old abandoned place, where Alex recognized it immediately. Kara managed to disable Leviathan’s defence and got Brainy out. But Brainy was unconscious and no one knew how to help him.
Kara shook her head. “She was…busy.”
“She refused to help?” Alex didn’t believe it.
“No!” Kara tensed. The instinct to defend Lena leaping right up. “I… She was occupied. So I left.”
Alex knew they were mending things, but she didn’t know how things stood between Kara and Lena, so she decided to remain silent. Looking at Nia distraught by Brainy’s side, though, that sense of urgency came back full force.
“I guess we would have to wait till tomorrow. His vitals are stabilized now. I’ll check J’onn’s database to see what we can find.”
Kara nodded. She tried to think back on her knowledge of Coluan biology, she even had a mind to find Kal to see if he could help.
But her mind kept circling back to what she saw at Lena’s penthouse. She didn’t mean to snoop. The sight of Lena smiling and laughing with Andrea, though, made something ache in her. She could not help but gravitate towards Lena.
It was only the residual anger of all that manifested between them that made her hesitate. With how much they’ve been drinking, Lena would not be in any state to help either. So Kara managed to convince herself to wait, at least till morning.
And now in J’onn’s tower, looking at her team, the same incompleteness slowly crept up on her. She knew who she needed to complete the picture.
She always knew.
Mxy showed her what she needed to get her back. And she really thought she was doing the right thing.
Lena needed to see for herself, that her choices were leading her down the wrong path. And Kara saw first-hand, that she could never bring herself to take on Lena and that scared her.
It scared her so much.
The weight of the world was on her shoulders but… Kara just couldn’t. She knew how wrong it was, but somehow knew it would be what she chose. So she opted to go for Lena’s weakness, knowing how much it meant to her.
She hoped it still mean that much to her.
That Lena never wanted to be a villain. To be like Lex.
But everything started to become a mess.
The longer Lena refused to budge, the more Kara wavered. She didn’t know what they were planning. And she could not afford not knowing. Lena was brilliant at everything! If she really set her heart out to accomplish something, nothing could stop her…
The insecurities that came from Lena’s prior manipulation grew and festered. Lena’s actions had cut deep and brought her pain like never before. There was no way to resolve it without confronting Lena but Lena…
Lena was with Lex.
And so, she allowed it to fuel her anger and frustration at always being a step behind Lex.
And every time Lena stood with Lex, her anger grew.
She was never one for patience, and the need to wait for someone else to make things right, that feeling of helplessness, reminded her of her time in space.
So when the rare chance of being ahead of Lex presented itself, by Brainy whom was working for Lex too, she just took it. Having her doubts thrown in her face by Lena as hypocrisy simply made her double down on the decision. Lena was there trying to stop her. It must mean something right?
Anger was her only defence by then.
And when Lena finally came to her, the anger had already consumed her. She fell back into the safety of being Supergirl persona. Of being harsh with Lena.
She was convinced she could not afford to be Kara when coming up against Lex Luthor.
Oh how she regretted it all when she finally got to see Lex after his defeat.
The way he mocked them all for needing a Luthor to take him down. The way he screamed betrayal in Lena’s face until Alex had to pull him off.
Kara was only one second away from crushing his face.
And Lena….
At the vitriol and the condescension spouting from her brother, Lena’s only response was to close her eyes and… take it!
The mug in her hands crumbling made Kara snap out of her thoughts. Alex and Kelly looked her way but she quickly waved them off.
“I’m just tired. I’ll just… head back.”
She was tired. After days of heightened tension over this battle with her enemies, she needed some rest. However, Lena’s resignation would haunt her the rest of the night.
Lena thought it was the brutal pounding in her head that woke her. Turns out it was just someone rude enough to be pounding on her door at—she squinted at her clock—eleven in the morning.
Shit.
She looked around and saw Andrea sprawled on the other end of the couch. She winced at the angle of her neck and made a note to get some aspirin and probably book a massage session.
They weren’t in their teens anymore.
The knocking on the door sounded once again. The person on the other side of the door clearly wasn’t giving up.
Lena silently cursed as she made her way to it, while mentally going through the handful of people that would actually know her address and be this daring and insistent at bothering her.
“Kara!”
“Hi Lena.”
A moment of awkwardness pass as both stared at each other, unsure of how to proceed.
“Can I come in?” Nervous hands lifted to fiddle with her spectacles, “I brought food?”
If anyone asked, Lena blamed her hangover for the slow response.
“Yeah of course.”
“Just make yourself comfortable and don’t wake Andrea.” Lena closed the door and walked off towards her bedroom to freshen herself.
Andrea… Right. She was Lena’s friend…
Her sight automatically floated to the figure awkwardly laid out on the couch.
Kara let out a sigh of relief.
Noticing the mess of glasses and empty bottles, she hurriedly helped to clear them while waiting for Lena.
“Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s nothing.”
Lena returned a small smile in reply.
“I also brought you coffee.” Kara didn’t want to dwell. “Hope it helps”
“You’re a lifesaver.” This time the smile was went all the way to her eyes and Kara beamed back.
“So…”
Both of them started abruptly, having remembered where they were.
“I’m sorry, you were saying?”
“No, Lena, you first.”
“I was just asking if you needed something.” Lena started to realise how similar this conversation starter was to last night, even as she was saying the words.
“Yeah about that…” Kara started to fidget.
Lena had to put in immediate effort to maintain the smile on her face. She really didn’t understand where the sudden disappointment came from, but she wasn’t going to make Kara feel like she wasn’t willing to help.
“We found Brainy last night…But he needs your help.”
“What’s wrong?”
“We’re not sure either, but he went after,” Kara sneaked a glance at Andrea before lowering her voice, “Leviathan. I think he was somehow injured by their defence when he entered their ship. He’s not waking up.”
The wheels in Lena’s mind immediately started turning, thinking of all possibilities. She assured Kara she would help before Kara had to leave for another emergency.
“I should leave before Andrea wakes up and see me anyway.” Kara tried a joke.
“Why? She won’t bite.”
“Er… she will if she found out her employee is at her friend’s house instead of working as contractually required.” Kara deadpanned.
Lena was amused. Before she could respond, both of them saw Andrea stir.
They exchanged a stare and Lena nodded, understanding the unspoken plea, as she made her way to Andrea.
“Oh my fucking god!”
“I told you you were going to regret it.” Lena chuckled, passing her water and aspirin.
“Oh Lena, I love you so much right now…”
“Enough to cancel that skydiving trip?”
“No way. We are so going.”
Andrea and Lena’s back and forth was not missed by Kara lingering at the doorstep.
She had to leave before Andrea saw her. But not before imprinting Lena’s laugh into her mind.
She could not remember when she last saw or even heard Lena laugh like that.
And it made her ache.
As expected, Lena’s involvement led to a quick resolution to Brainy’s predicament. They were all grateful and finally planning their celebration for taking down the villains. Kara was as excited to finally put all these behind them. It was then she realised Lena wasn’t participating.
“Hey, we’re going to celebrate. You need my help to pack? We can drop this at your lab and join them after?”
Lena’s look of surprise pricked her heart and the subsequent practiced smile made it sink a little.
“Oh! I’m actually meeting Andrea later.”
Again? “I thought last night…” Kara paused midsentence.
“Oh, last night was good for both us. We had a lot of catching up to do.”
“Oh…well ok…” Kara swallowed. “I thought we could catch up some time too.”
On instinct, Lena reached out, wanting to comfort her.
Her hand retreated before anyone noticed.
“We’ll catch up some other time.”
“Yeah… sure, Lena.”
That some other time never happened. Apparently Lena and Andrea rekindling their friendship made Lena pretty much unavailable for much else between that, L-Corp and helping Supergirl with her extracurricular activities.
It frustrated Kara to no end.
It was like, Lena was back and yet she was not.
It wasn’t that Lena didn’t try on her part. They had one or two lunch dates and movie nights scheduled, but there was always either an emergency L-Corp or Supergirl duties in the way.
And so after another trying day of Andrea giving her a hard time at Catco, Kara simply flew up to Lena’s balcony at L-Corp to burst into a rant.
“She’s so mean! And why is she always picking on me for being late 5 minutes to a meeting? Why does she always have to have so many sudden meetings? Don’t people schedule such things??”
Amused, Lena simply set down her pen and rested her head on a palm. It used to be very jarring to see Supergirl behave as Kara. The deceit through the lens provided by Lex made it all so bitter. But now, with time, she could see.
Kara was just… Kara.
And Kara swerved to her and demanded, “Say something! She’s your friend!”
Lena chuckled.
“Kara, you know how Jess makes use of every minute in my work schedule to cram everything right?”
Kara’s expression immediately morphed into guilt, but Lena continued before she could say anything, “What makes you think Andrea’s any different? She’s a CEO too.”
Ok… she never really thought about it like that. Lena was just so different.
“And she’s probably picking on you because you’re a terrible employee with frequent unexplained absences.”
That made Kara gape like a fish.
Lena looked at her pointedly.
“But you— when you—”
“The only reason I allowed James to cover for you all the time was because your work was brilliant. I thought if some leg stretching was what you needed to get those articles done, so be it.” Lena shrugged. “I’m sure she’ll come to see it that way. She values quality work after all.”
“But—“
“But if Andrea is still the Andrea I knew, I do admit she can be quite mean if she set her sights on you.”
Kara could only huff and pout as she slouched down on the couch. Lena could only look on fondly.
When it looked like Kara wasn’t going to continue the topic, Lena continued reviewing her documents, leaving her be.
“How did you become friends with her?”
Lena looked up from her documents. Kara was just lying on the couch staring at the ceiling. She briefly glanced at her schedule before making her way to the couch.
“I met her at boarding school. She befriended me when I was the outcast.” At that, Kara sat up to face her. “We had each other.”
Lena regaled her on stories of their boarding adventures, on how close they had become.
But the sad look of melancholy hinted to Kara that things did not turn out well for them.
“What happened?” Kara was weary of the answer before she even heard it.
“She betrayed me.”
“She stole something from me that I thought, at that time, would help me save Lex.” Lena scoffed. “I was so angry with her. She knew how important it was to me. She knew how important Lex was to me.” Lena sighed. “But she needed it to save her father. She didn’t dare tell me, knowing how bad I would react. I found out anyway.” Lena let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Maybe it was all for the best. Lex couldn’t be stopped like that.” She shrugged. “At least someone got something good out of it.”
Kara knew the guilt had never left her. Before, it was just forced to the background while anger was allowed to take the reins. Now, with the realisation of a pattern, a real example of how such things happen to Lena repeatedly, Kara’s guilt came back with a vengeance.
“I’m—“
“Miss Luthor, Mr Smith is here for your next appointment.” Jess walked in and interrupted. “Oh, Supergirl. I’m sorry! I didn’t –“
“It’s alright Jess.” Jess simply nodded and left the room.
“I—“Kara struggled.
“Go, I’ll see you soon.” Lena lifted a hand to squeeze her shoulder and Kara immediately covered it, desperate not to let go.
“Go.” Lena’s smile was fond and open.
“One last question.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at Lena. “What changed?”
Kara heard her sigh deeply.
“I guess… I guess I finally learned to see from her perspective. It made it easier to forgive.”
“Kara?”
Alex calling her snapped out of her trance.
“It’s your turn.”
“Oh right.”
It was game night at Alex’s place. Everyone was there. Even Brainy, after a moment of awkward apology, re-joined them like nothing happened. William was also invited… She was still perplexed who extended the invite to him, but she didn’t dwell.
Everyone but Lena.
She tried inviting her, but apparently Jack was in town.
Jack Spheer.
Lena’s ex-boyfriend.
Lena’s alive ex-boyfriend.
Kara was happy that some tragedies of the previous world were not repeated in Earth Prime. It was a good thing that Lena had another person in her corner. Another person to support her…
Really it was.
It also meant Lena wasn’t with them.
With her…
She intentionally lost that round to have an excuse to leave the group and escape into the kitchen. She was in desperate need of ice-cream.
Footsteps alerted her to another presence. She knew who it was without looking up.
“Talk to me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well if you need me to spell it out: Let’s talk about Lena.”
Kara whipped her head up so fast it would have given anyone seeing it a whiplash. But this was her sister, who just met her glare unfazed.
“Hey, I’m not saying or implying anything. Just saying. You only brood like that over Lena.”
Unwilling to address that particular implication, Kara averted her eyes and pursed her lips.
Alex, lingered a little longer, debating internally how far she can push, before she heard Kara.
“Did you ever doubt that I would be able to kill Astra?” A question voiced so quietly yet so thunderous to Alex’s ears.
She never thought Kara would ever bring this topic back up.
Alex took a deep breath to brace herself.
“I never thought about it. But I know it would’ve hurt you so much, and I hoped it didn’t come down to that.”
Wrong answer apparently, as Alex noticed Kara’s quivering lips.
“Hey, hey, what’s this all about?” Alarmed, Alex moved to comfort her sister.
“Lena…” She sobbed. “Lex was horrible. He is a horrible man and he was so, so mean to Lena.” Kara roughly swiped at the tears that escaped. “But Lena loved him. She told me she did. Despite everything.”
“And she killed him thinking she was protecting me.”
Alex frowned. “But that was on the previous Earth. Lex is still very much alive.”
“It doesn’t nullify the pain does it?”
Kara knew it did not. Every time she recalled Lena’s manipulation it still stings.
Alex conceded with a nod.
“I think I’m going to call it a night.”
When Alex explained Kara’s departure, most were concerned but took it in stride. William, though, was significantly disappointed.
Alex couldn’t understand why Kelly and Nia thought he had a chance, but maybe it was time to tell them to stop letting him get his hopes up…
Lena has friends.
Kara knew this. She had to have. Lena was an amazing person with a golden heart. Anyone who got close enough would know, and would want to be close to her.
If only she wasn’t so closed off to everyone.
But now that she has opened her heart again? Kara suddenly realised, aside from the Superhero stuff, Lena lived in a vastly different social circle. It made Kara self-conscious of her big-belly burger meals and morning coffee drop-offs.
It certainly didn’t help that the lunch breaks that used to be monopolised by Kara were now being shared with Andrea, Jack, who conveniently also decided to move his company to National City, and Sam!
Sam who flew from Metropolis for a business meet and had to rush back, and therefore could only spare time for lunch.
Lunch which Kara unintentionally crashed.
“I’m sorry— I just thought I’d— I thought if you wanted to have lunch—But yeah. I see you have company. I’m sorry I should have texted. I’m just going to –“
“Kara! No wait.” Lena hastily stood up from where she sat. “This is a surprise, but you don’t have to leave.”
Kara looked at the takeout boxes that indicated she was clearly interrupting something. She looked at Sam whose eyes held amusement but had no recognition of Kara. She thought back to how hard Lena fought to save Sam… How she probably was the only lucky one who didn’t get tempted to betray Lena’s trust in their shared history.
And Kara was so envious.
“No, Lena, I’m sorry for intruding. Maybe tonight? If you have time.”
No she didn’t have time.
Because, of course Kara being Supergirl meant that things always got in the way. The only comfort she got was that Lena was also front and centre in the action of it all so she never had to lie again about missing their dates.
Still…
It sucked.
She was about to flop onto her couch and mop about another missed time with Lena when the doorbell rang. A quick scan made her answer in the fastest speed she could.
Lena’s hand was still on the bell, the abrupt opening of the door made her step back in surprise.
“Lena!”
“Pizza!”
Maybe it was the surprise turn of events for the evening. Maybe it was the sudden hope spurred on by the presence of Lena at her doorstep. Maybe it was the pizza…
Kara could not contain her excitement that she wrapped her arms around Lena and used her superspeed to bring her to the couch and set up the table.
“Woah!” Lena took a moment to regain her bearings after that Kryptonian whirlwind. “Calm down Kara.”
“Pizza!” Kara simply sat down next her and beamed the brightest smile at Lena.
“Of course.”
They ate and drank to their hearts content and they even managed to squeeze in a movie that Kara waited a year to watch with Lena.
Kara missed this so much and her heart was too full with content, which finally gave her a sobering thought.
“Thank you.”
“Kara, we do this all the time.”
“Not really. We’ve been so busy… I’ve missed this…”
I’ve missed you.
“Me too…”
“Really? Those fancy bars and restaurants too boring for you?” Kara joked.
“Well… I had a lot of catching up to do with Andrea. And Jack… well, you know.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Kara observed Lena. Really looked at her. She seemed lighter, and yet the lingering sadness in her eyes was clear as day.
“Can I hug you?”
Lena’s response was to fall into her outstretched arms and Kara finally felt her world was complete.
“I’m glad you got your friends back.”
“Me too.”
When Lena moved to release her, Kara tightened her hold.
“I know we said our peace back then. And we agreed to put the past behind. But all this while I keep feeling like you’re already slipping away.”
She heard Lena’s heartbeat start to quicken. But she ploughed on. Determined.
“I know you think you owe me for doing all those stuff even though I said I’ve forgiven you. And that you feel that whatever happens, it’s what you deserved.”
She could hear the trembling breaths drawn, which only caused her own tears to fall.
“But I hurt you first, Lena. Even if I didn’t mean it, I hurt you so badly, so much. And I know now, what it did to you. When you pushed me away, it hurt too much for me to understand anything.”
It still hurts.
“So I let you. I did what I said I wouldn’t do. I gave up on you.”
She was angry at the both of them. At Lena, for choosing to go where she could not follow. At herself, for giving up.
“I thought that was the only way. And I am so, so sorry that you were all alone.”
They ended up crying to sleep in each other’s arms. But the next morning, waking up to sore red eyes and an unguarded smile, Kara had never felt more hopeful.
“You know sometimes I totally get why Lex hates Kryptonians.”
“Like… Super beings that defy gravity and fly?? I mean what the hell right??”
“Why on Earth would God, if there’s one, create Kryptonians on one hand, and on the other make humans slave to gravity??”
“Miss Luthor? We will be leaving this altitude soon.” The pilot’s voice strained to be heard against the sound of the wind blowing at 15000 feet.
“You know Andrea’s probably landed by now.” Kara mused, which earned her a glare. “Come on Lena, you said you’d promised Andrea. And I’m here.”
“You’re with me right?”
“Always.” Maybe it was mean, but the fear so clear in Lena’s eyes only served to make her more endeared. Like Kara would let anything happen to her.
Lena took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
Kara simply kept silent and enjoyed the view of Lena.
And when Lena opened her eyes again, those brilliant greens were stunning. So stunning in fact she totally missed the part where Lena leaned forward and kissed her lips before jumping out of the plane.
The euphoria was too quick to be enough. She’d need to do that again.
If Lena thought escaping into the clouds was a good plan, she’d need to rethink that again. Kara thought smugly as Supergirl took to the skies and flew towards her goal.