Work Text:
Normal working day at this cursed facility. Normal faces you could see acting the way they do everyday. A routine decided to show up one day, making his mundane life even more boring, and Freeman knew that it meant something horrible was going to happen. He didn't think it was possible for a while but the repetitive actions started to slowly add more and more to his obnoxious fear. He somehow always crossed paths with Dr. Coomer, they both talked for a bit and split after a while up to do their own thing. Then it was work, have a small break at the end of the shift, check for any mistakes or things that can lead to staying more then he would like, go home to his son. It kept repeating until one guard randomly stopped him.
Gordon furrowed his brows at this, repulsed just by thinking of the guy. He forced himself to go back on everything that has happen just to try and peace it together. The puzzle was almost complete before it stopped at Benrey. A guard he doesn't recall working here, ever working here. One guard he didn't see anywhere all his time being in Black Mesa. Gordon could swear that his face was still some of what familliar to him, like somethings Benrey talked about stirred some memories he didn't know he had. He pushed the thought back as his eyes got attacked by bright rays of sunshine. He almost sobbed with relief. They would finally have a some sense of time.
Before that they just occupied places that seemed safe enough whenever they felt tired and slept in them, even if it was on the floor. No one really had a place to complain about that, even if it was uncomfortable. Only few of them would admit this but they all were silently grateful that they are still alive in this mess, even if they would leave it needing theraphy. The accident left them here, in ruined Black Mesa that was falling apart before their eyes and they were right in the middle of it. Sleeping on the floor was a luxury now, it was either that or sleeping forever in a ditch trying to find a better place. After an unknown amount of days they made it far enough to see the sky again. Made it far enough to breathe fresh air and not some chemicals. Still being in the facility gave them little time to enjoy it as they almost constantly had to be on the move. Away from danger, closer to their escape.
Now with the danger cleared out Tommy looked at the sky, his gaze lingering as colours shifted. Light blue began to slowly melt away with deep Crimson taking its former place and dragging the sun down over the horizont. He could barely see it, since huge stone walls isolated the facility from the rest of the deserted place it was build on, but he still smiled, being happy as always. Bubby also noticed this beautiful thing but he was less then happy to see it. He was one step away from losing his mind with his strong need to get out of Black mesa but he knew that they couldn't travel at night. It was way too dark for that. They would have to keep shouting to know where the others are and that may attract someone or something. They were also tired with one of them heavily injured. Bubby winced as his eyes fixiated on Freemans forearm, too heavy with guilt to look further down. He knew that Gordon still had a long way to go before he could trust him again, given that he was one of the people he could thank for his missing hand. Gordon still accepted him back on the team even after this when he could have easily left him in his tube.
Bubby was first to make an offer to lay down somewhere for the night, being faster then Dr. Coomer this time who was the one to always say this because of their injured firend. Dr. Coomers concenr for Gordons well being was something he expected, but for some reason he didn't like him being that close to the other man. Something stirred in him everytime that the older doctor stopped just so he could check Gordons condition. It wasn't hate but something close to it that he refused to admit even to himself. It was as if poison was boiling in him, petty and selfish desires colliding with one another and making him uneasy when these two were together for too long. That feeling sparked again as Dr. Coomer looked at Gordon before his eyes met him, his bright smile making Bubbys stomach tighten.
They all accepted the offer with Benrey looking more annoyed and tired then normal. The circles under his eyes were beggining to make him look like a walking skeleton. They made their way up to the roof of some building, where they found a hole that led to a small room full with boxes varying in size. Using them, he made his way down carefully, offering his hand to help Dr. Coomer once his own feet touched the cracked floor. When they all setteled in and checked the area for some traps stars were already glistering in the dark sky. Tommy was the first to somehow fall asleep on the dirty floor, right next to Gordon as he promised the man to keep watch on him. The sientist was weak enough from blood loss to struggle getting down without felling lightheaded. He almost immediately laid down which got Bubby to cautiously walk up to him and push the toe of his shoe to his side just to check if he was still responding. One of Tommys hands was on the front of the HEV suit, making sure he could still feel the heart beating. Bubby laid near Dr. Coomer, eyes fixiated on the other mans sleeping face. He used this moment of silence to take in others facial features. How his eyes had smile lines at their corners, reminding him of that grin that the doctor sometimes flashes his way, how even in his age he looks so full of life. He felt himself smile weakly as Dr. Coomer started to snore, one of his arms almost touching his own extened one. He thought only for a moment before placing his hand in the more rough one of the other doctor, the warmth overtaking him just from this simple thing. He squeezed his hand gently and closed his eyes, relaxed by the rhythmical snores and someones shoe tapping the floor.
Benrey was still awake after a couple of hours. He couldn't tell what time it is but the moon almost above his head could tell him that it was way too late. He sat below the hole that they entered, moonlight casting a low light at his silhouette. His shoulders were slouched and he was leaning forward with his legs fully extended. His mind was blank, aside from the memories from that one night.
He was just walking around as he always did when everyone slept. Keeping watch or just moving out of boredom. It was around the same time as today that he heard the strange noises coming from their resting place. It sounded like someone choking or at least struggling to breathe. Half thinking his mind is playing tricks on him he went back to that room, pushing himself away from the wall he was leaning against. He didn't know what he expected to see but it sure as hell wasn't Gordon almost ripping his hair out in a panic attack. The sientists didn't respond to him when he threw a sarcastic remark at him, which already made Benrey uneasy and more concerned. He went up to him slowly, to not wake the others as he explained to himself. Later events left him laying on the ground for the rest of the night with Gordon on top of him, finally sleeping. He just comforted him. Why is it suddenly coming back to him? He did the right thing didn't he? Leaving Gordon to weep and overthink stuff would surely make him spiral into something much worse then just a panic attack. If that's the case then why is his mind replaying those memories over and over again like he has done something horrible.
He stifles an annoyed groan, his hand coming up to his chest. These memories were much more vivid then any of his other ones with Gordon. Only ones that come close are the ones when those surprisingly soft hands hold his face to force him to look into vibrant green eyes. Words that were said to him then felt like he Heard them thru thick glass, his mind only focusing on those eyes. He took in a sharper breath. Those eyes, curly long hair... Nice face. For an idiot. A shudder made its way down his spine as the room suddenly became too hot. The hand at his chest reached up to tug at his collar, eyes wandering to Gordons sleeping form where he laid with Tommy. The both seemed to have moved closer together, as if to keep themselfs warmer which only made Benrey realize that he was the only one experiencing a heat spike. His eyes widened, hands going to his thighs to rub up and down to try and calm himself. That only seemed to make matters worse and he started to rock back and forth before grumbling in anger and getting up to his feet. He frantically looked around the room before his eyes landed on huge boxes they used to climb in here. He walked up to one half his size and sat on it, craning his head to look up at the night sky. A sleepy mumble got his attention back as his heartbeat picked up again.
- Benrey? - of course it was Gordon. Goddamitt who else - Why are- why the hell are you up?
- Whuh?
- Why are you awake?
- It's morning already, you dumbass. Need stronger glasses, huh?
Gordon squinted at him, half in annoyance and half because he couldn't see him well with the moonlight shining on him. His tired eyes jumped between the guards flushed face and the hole they came in from.
- The sun's not even up yet.
Benrey released a breath he didn't even know he was holding and leaned forward a bit. He still felt incredibly warm and this conversation wasn't helping him in any way. He was just about to climb out to the roof to cool himself off before Gordon woke up, startled out of his dream by his sudden movement. Tommys hand was still on his chest.
- Huh? Oh yeah I guess. I'm still gonna go.
- What? Where? - Gordon was slowly getting up, trying his hardest not to wake the rest and keeping his voice down to a berely audible whisper.
- The roof.
- In the middle of the night?
- Yeah, you got a problem with that? Gonna keep me here as your guard dog or something?
Gordon shook his head and lazily moved towards the box Benrey was sitting on. He stopped halfway, to the guards delight, and looked up at the sky or as much of it as he could see thru the hole. Benrey decided to take his chance and finally move before he embarrassed himself, pushing himself further back on the box to stand and climb the rest of them up. Gordons green eyes fallowed him, his mind still too foggy from sleep to even give any sort of reaction. He only opened his mouth as if to say something before Benreys feet left his view.
Safetly away from Gordon the guard ran his hands down his face, cursing to himself as he felt his face being way too warm for his liking. It was getting harder and harder to speak to the guy without fumbling over words and pointlessly stuttering. Feelings boiled in him, fighting over dominance. Anger, because the sientist acts as if the night didn't even happen, like Benrey didn't hold him and some of what soothed him to calm down. Regret, because he didn't do anything more that might have left some kind of impact on Gordon that night. He was the one that should be have fellings like this not Benrey. His mind began to overthink more, working hard on trying to give him a headache. His feet carried his around the roof in circles before he came back to the hole and layed next to it, resting his head on his arm. He looked at the endless sky above him. Without lights he could see the stars much better. Closing his eyes he breathed in heavily and let the cold night air around him cool his face. He laid there for what felt like hours, thinking and escaping some thoughts as they brought back the warm spike that settled in his core. He covered his eyes with his other arm, way too focused on keeping his breathing even to notice a sound of the wood groaning as someone stepped on the boxes below him. Soon he felt a pair of eyes on him, deciding to play dead even if it was one of his companions.
A finger poked his side and he almost chucked off his helmet with how fast he removed his arm from his eyes, a surprised yelp leaving his open mouth. His eyes met those half lidded bright green ones. He took in Gordons expression as he tried to find a way to react to this. Freemans face was a mix od confusion and a little bit of shock at the sudden reaction. Those eyes firmly kept his own in strong eye contact and Benrey had to blink a couple of times to drag himself away from looking into them any longer.
- What are you doing up here? Wanna cuddle or something? You have Tommy down there for that - his last words had a tinge of jealousy in them.
- No, you asshole. I'm here to check if you fell asleep out here. Before you say anything I don't care if you get sick. I came here because you would give away our possition.
Benrey expected Gordons answer to be straight to the point and rude but it still stung him a little bit. His hand did some sort of a flapping motion at the sientist, the silent equivalent of telling him that he doesn't mean any those words. Gordon only rolled his eyes and sat near Benrey, head tilted up to look at the stars. They sat in silence for a while, finally enjoying their change in scenery.
- Why did you come up anyway? You acually feel sick? - Benrey was lost in thought, looking with half lidded eyes at Gordons throat, face flushed again. His mind processed the words for longer then needed before he remembered that the sientist was waiting for his reply.
- Dunno Man, was just felling warm.
Freeman locked his eyes with him again and this time Benrey let himself drown in them. His little moment was interupted as Gordon reached with his good hand for his helmet, gently pushing it up a little before his hand rested on Benreys forehead. The guard stifled a shiver as a pleasant sensation rolled down his whole being. The hand stayed there for a little bit before being pulled back with a quiet ,, Well, you at least don't have a fever". Benreys head almost followed Gordons hand before he mentaly slapped himself and quickly reached his own hand up to tug the helmet nice and snug back on his head.
- How's your hand? - he was hoping the question would bring the focus away from himself. Gordon hummed, his hand raching to scratch at his beard.
- It's okay, I guess. As good as you can get with a chopped off hand. I'm still fell very weak, maybe even weaker then before - Benreys eyes stayed firmly on the sientists lips, something in him swaying and yelling at him to lean up towards them - Thank you for this, by the way.
- Huh? What? - Gordon ,,pointed" at him with his right arm.
- Don't ,,huh" me, you know what I mean. You're one of the
people that did this.
- You gonna cry about it?
- You wish.
Silence feel between them again, this time something was lingering in the air. It was quite probably Gordons anger but Benrey told to himself that it was something else. They watched together as the sun started to come up, spending way too much time out in the open but if something wanted to attack them then they would have been long gone. About ten minutes after the sun started to rise Gordon heard Tommy gasp, quite probably in fear as he didn't see the other sientist laying next to him, so Gordon leaned towards the hole and tapped the roof rather hard to get his attention. Tommy looked up with distress in his eyes that turned into confusion as he saw the other man already up. He looked back towards the duo sleeping in the room with him and smiled when he saw Dr. Coomer laying his head on Bubbys chest. It took them some time but later they all made it out of the hole, some of them groaning from back paint and others laughing then getting jabbed for it.
- Mr. Freeman, why are you up already? - Tommy made a questioning face and looked at Benrey - Why are you both up?
- Ask him. He's the one that woke me up with his wriggling in the middle of the night.
Benrey slowly started to raise himself off of the ground, eyes avoiding Tommys gaze. They started to continue their trip, Dr. Coomer with Bubby and Gordon at the front while Benrey and Tommy stayed back a bit. The guard finally gave up trying to act like nothing happened and looked back at Tommy.
- What?
- Why were you and Mr. Freeman awake that early?
- I just didn't fell like sleeping - Benrey answered with his monotone voice - He woke up and decided to follow me up like an idiot.
- And you stayed on the roof?
- Yeah.
- Alone?
- Yeah?
Tommy smile semmed to have grown as he run up to the rest of the group leaving Benrey confused, face a little warm.