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Rapunzel hated that she could pinpoint exactly the time when she changed her mind for sure about marriage, and about what living happily ever after truly meant. Until then, she had always felt like it would be the end of her story - she and Eugene would settle down, happy and content without any new adventure to live through. It was okay, but she hadn't felt ready to give up on exploring the world quite… That is, until she understood that her definitions were wrong. But that didn't mean she liked her turning point. In fact, she hated it, because she knew that she had felt progressively more open about marriage during their journey, and she knew that she didn't need a life-changing event to understand that it wasn't the end of her adventures but the start of a new one. She would have come around, and had been nearly there after the whole Stalyan mess - but then, something happened to change her mind immediately and she hated it.
Eugene got sick.
To be precise, Eugene had left the caravan because they all wanted some air and had stopped in the middle of a clearing to do so. He went to the forest and came back some time after, and everything had been okay. It should have been okay. But then, Eugene had started acting weird - he kept drinking water, complaining that he was thirsty and that everything was too hot. He bickered with Cassandra, but lost his train of thought halfway through a curse, which never happened.
By the time Rapunzel was sure something was wrong, he had a raging fever and started talking about things that weren't there. It was Cass who finally understood what was wrong - she found berries in his bag, that weren't berries as much as it was belladonna.
Poison.
The following minutes were a blur to Rapunzel - she knew they had pushed Eugene into the caravan and bundled him into bed, despite his growing confusion and panic. She knew she had been panicking too, reminiscing about all she knew about belladonna which terrified her even more, but had also kept it all to herself behind a cheerful facade, because Eugene wasn't making sense and kept asking about her wellbeing. She couldn't worry him more.
By the time they agreed to rush back to the city they left two days ago because it was the closest one, his breathing was ragged and uneven, and his fever was through the roof. Rapunzel couldn't leave his side, because he would panic otherwise - and she didn't want to leave him anyway.
"Rapunzel," he gasped at some point, startling her, "you- you okay?"
"Don't worry Eugene," she soothed for the umpteenth time, hoping that he wouldn't notice her wobbly voice, "I'm fine."
She wasn't. Of course she wasn't, not when the love of her life was in such a state - in the throws of nightmares without even sleeping, begging her for water that she knew he would throw up right after. She had never seen him like this - had never seen anyone like this, really, but especially not him, who hadn't even caught a cold since they met. She did, though, she had fallen sick once or twice already, and he had been by her side to reassure her each time, assuring her that he had a strong immune system and that he rarely got sick.
She hoped it would be strong enough to fight this until a doctor could help.
"You're not allowed to eat berries anymore," Rapunzel whispered some time later, when his hallucinations seemed to have abated and they had needed to stop for the night, because the horses were exhausted. "Never ever."
"Did I-" He swallowed harshly against the dryness of his throat and tried again, looking heartbreakingly lost. "Did I confuse bimberries and dimberries again?"
"Something like that," she sniffed, getting his sweaty hair out of his forehead and cringing at the heat that was still here.
"Don't let Cassandra kill me."
"I won't. I won't let anything kill you," she promised, and Eugene smiled, but it was still vague and confused, as if he was indulging her without really understanding what she was saying.
His face and neck were covered by splotches of red, and he kept tensing his muscles against his will - the jerky movements scared her, and hurt him, and she hated it. She knew a lot about belladonna, because she had read again and again, during eighteen years, one of her three books that was about plants. She knew its effects - she knew everything that could go wrong, every potentialities, but it had never been terrifying until it was Eugene's symptoms. As she listened to him breathe, she kept fearing that his heart wouldn't have enough energy to pump anymore, or that his lungs would give up, or that another delirium would make him hurt himself further, and she had to do everything in her power not to cry.
She kept thinking about him dying, and she understood that she couldn't have an happily ever after without him. All the freedom and adventures would never make up from the sheer happiness he gave her every day, just by existing. She always knew this fact, in a way, but now it was a thought that choked her and made her hands tremble as she put a cold cloth over his forehead - because, until now, it hadn't been a true subject of doubt since he died that first time.
"I can't- I can't-" he muttered some hours later, never able to finish his sentences as he struggled beneath the bed sheets. Neither of them had gotten any sleep yet - neither of them could, Eugene because of the fever, and Rapunzel because of Eugene. "Blondie-"
"I'm here," she whispered, her hand cupping his cheek, making him look at her even when his eyes kept straying to the left, seeing something that wasn't there. "I'm here Eugene, I promise."
"No, no, I can't-" He sounded gutted, and one of his hand went to his stomach, clenching unnaturally over it.
Rapunzel worried that he was feeling sick again, because he hadn't managed to keep anything down, but when she tried to make him lean over the side of the bed, he fought her off.
"I can't let you do this," Eugene insisted, trying to get away from her.
"What? Eugene, please-"
"If you do this, you will die!"
With wide eyes, Rapunzel took in his appearance - the bags under his eyes, the unnatural blush on his cheeks, his heaving chest and his hand, not over his stomach because of nausea but over a familiar spot, that she should have recognised immediately. She exhaled shakily, her eyes burning as she tried once again to get close to him, careful not to spook him even more.
"Eugene, it's over. She- Gothel is dead. And you're fine."
"N-no, I… My side…"
Gently, she put her hand over his, not even flinching when he tried unsuccessfully to cringe away from her. She kept her fingers right over his and didn't move - not when he called her name in panic, not when he tried to convince her that he wasn't worth her life, not when he begged her to just let him die instead. They were tears falling from her eyes, but she didn't move.
"It's over," she whispered again when he calmed down on his own, his pupils blown but looking directly at her this time. "We're safe. I'm safe, because you saved me and you're safe, because I saved you."
As she talked, she slowly removed his hand from his side, taking it in hers and squeezing as hard as she dared, hoping it would ground him as much as it did her. Eugene kept watching her, mouth slightly open as he panted, but he didn't fight her anymore.
In a surprising show of strength, he raised himself quickly and brought her on an half-sitting hug, his head resting on the crook of her neck. She scootched over, bringing him to her lap as she hugged him back as strongly as she could, feeling like they would both fall apart if she didn't. He was mumbling things against her skin, his fever still high, and she didn't understand everything but she felt his relief in her bones.
"I'm glad you're okay," he muttered more clearly, and Rapunzel hugged him tighter, hoping that he wouldn't see the tears gathering under her eyelashes. She shouldn't have worried, because she felt his body go limp, Eugene finally succumbing to sleep now that he was sure she was safe. She kept holding him though - focusing on his weight against her so as not to drown in the emotions his hallucination brought back.
That was her turning point - the one event that rushed her natural train of thought straight to its conclusion, the event that she hated so much.
Because, at this exact instant, with Eugene's burning skin against hers, after ten months on the road toward her destiny, Rapunzel suddenly understood the feelings that she never managed to voice - she finally understood why she kept rejecting his proposal, and she understood why that didn't matter, in the end.
She was scared that her happily ever after meant the end of her adventure. She was scared that once they settled down, they would be safe and sound and locked inside forever, as naive as it might sound. For a long time, happiness had meant staying where she was meant to be, high up in her tower, making someone else happy - but now, she wanted to experience it all, be the person she knew she could be, make her own life and her own happiness...
But she wanted to do all of that with Eugene.
She had been scared that marriage would mark the end of her journey, but how could it, when Eugene was with her? It all seemed silly now, when she was holding him as tightly as she could while his ragged breathing tickled her neck and made her heartbeat speed up with worry. It all seemed silly, because Eugene was her happily ever after and had always been - he was her dream, he was who she felt free and wanted to go on adventures with.
Here and there, as she brushed his sweaty hair out of his face again, she realised that she would sacrifice it all if that meant saving him. Her adventures, her freedom, her destiny, it all meant surprisingly little compared to the knowledge that Eugene was safe and in good health, able to talk and laugh and smile as much as he wanted. He had told her, after the mess that was her coronation, about his fear of losing her like he lost most good things in his life - he had told her about his abandonment issues, and how that made him want to propose because he couldn't imagine his life without her. He had also apologised for it, apologised for not considering her feelings better, for proposing out of the blue because he was scared when it should be a shared choice between both of them.
In hindsight, she wished she could go back in time just to insist even more that he shouldn't apologise so much for it. She understood now - she thought she did before, thought her first-hand experience with losing him gave her more perspective than most, but she had somehow forgot how raw it felt to see him hurt. Now, faced with the too real possibility of losing him again, she wished she could propose to him right now, wished that they could get married and go hide out in the castle forever, if it meant he was safe with her forever too. She could accept any happily ever after, as long as it was in his company. And, the thing was, she knew it wouldn't be a sacrifice - she knew she wouldn't be unhappy, because she knew Eugene's happiness also relied heavily on hers. They made each other happy.
Eugene mumbled something incoherently, his lips right on the side of her jaw, and Rapunzel realised that she was crying, silent tears making their way down, to form dark little spot on his clothes. She shifted, to have one hand to dry her tears, and he twitched.
"You 'k?" he rasped once again, like he had done dozens of time since he ate those damned berries, because sickness or not, she was always his first concern.
He hadn't even opened his eyes. Rapunzel cupped his cheek with her free hand, stroking it softly with her thumb and erasing the rare teardrops that made their way here.
"I'm okay," she answered, not willing to share the jostling thoughts in her head screaming that she wasn't, she couldn't be when he wasn't. "I'm okay."
"Good," he said simply, before falling asleep again, a gentle smile on his lips and an unnatural blush still on his cheeks.
Rapunzel curled up as much as she could around him and cried.
In the end, they arrived in a day and a half in the village and they broke the doctor's door down in their panic. Thankfully, said doctor was a nice little old lady who looked suspiciously like old lady Crowley - but she clearly wasn't the evil twin between them. She didn't take offence in her broken door, and didn't even argue with Rapunzel when she insisted to stay with her when she treated Eugene.
By the end of the day, his fever was barely one, and he wasn't hallucinating anymore. The following morning, he woke up, completely clear-headed if a little confused about their whereabouts.
"You're okay?" he asked Rapunzel when she took his hand and, for a moment, she wanted to beg him to never ask this question ever again. But, on the other hand, she understood - he was her first concern too. Maybe she hadn't understood that fully before, but she was completely certain now: him being safe and sound was her happily ever after.
"I'm okay," she settled on, and it wasn't a lie anymore.