Work Text:
As it turned out, capturing Hux was the easy part. Bringing him in proved unexpectedly, even catastrophically, difficult. The tiny, ancient ketch that they'd taken to the Outer Rim blew out an engine on take-off, then lost auxiliary power.
"Truly traveling in style, aren't we?" Hux had asked.
As he struggled with the nav controls, Poe ignored him. Finn spared Hux a glance, then went back to examining the burned-out wiring in one cable panel.
"I daresay if you let me out of these beastly binders, I could help you."
"Can you imagine?" Poe said to Finn. "What kind of help can he give?"
"Try to strangle one of us, then order the other one to commit mass murder?" Finn asked without turning around. His welding gun sparked and buzzed. "Maybe order the strangling, then get really mad when we disobey?"
"Could do that while still wearing the binders, though," Poe pointed out.
"True. Oh, oh! I know!"
Eyebrow jumping, Poe smirked at Hux before saying, "Spill, buddy."
"He could threaten to kidnap our children and brainwash them, too. Just for —" Finn glanced over his shoulder and grin-scowled. "— what's the word? Extra menace."
"Droll," Hux said. "You're both entirely too droll for words."
"And hot," Poe said. "Don't forget hot."
"Also brilliant." Finn rose to his feet and brushed off his hands. "Brilliant's important."
That was when their hyperjump ended 400 microparsecs early, dumping the ship into the gravity field of a large, cold moon.
Poe yanked on the controls, swearing loudly, and tried to pull the ship back out of the drag. Hux shoved Finn aside in his haste to get to the escape pod; Finn tackled him, wrestling him back to the bridge, when Poe shouted at them.
"Buckle up! Grab something! FUCK."
He managed to tilt the ship at a shallow enough angle that the crash merely ripped open its already dead engine. All three men, however, tumbled end over end into the narrow passage. Steam and smoke filled the passage; their ears rang and eyes ran. Poe was splayed half on top of Finn, arm around Finn's waist, while Finn all but smothered Hux.
In the resounding, choking chaos, the door to the pod finally eased open. They slid down into it. There was no time to right themselves before the pod sealed itself, detached from the burning ship, and rolled down an icy crevasse.
It bounced to stop just as the ketch exploded.
*
They completed post-crash protocols quickly. Finn's survey of surrounding terrain revealed nothing but permafrost and huge stones. The atmosphere was thin and overloaded with methane. Breathable, but not for long, and in that time, it would be painful.
They were three men in a pod meant for two, with freeze-dried rations that would last two days, and very little water.
"Hux here has probably been drinking his own urine for years, though," Poe noted as they took inventory. "At first it was paranoia, but then..."
Finn nodded, snorting with laughter. "He just really liked the taste."
"Vile."
"You are, yeah!" Poe said and held up his hand so Finn could slap it in congratulations.
The situation was not optimal. "Dire," Finn called it, while Poe preferred "fucked-up and getting worse". Hux merely sighed a lot and rattled his binders.
*
As the dark outside deepened and winds howled, the temperature plummeted. Finn rigged up a rough condensation-catcher while Poe mashed half-rations into a paste.
"We're going to need to stay warm —" Poe said when they'd finished eating.
"I refuse to be treated this way," Hux announced. "Every sentient-rights convention and juridical definition of war crimes is very clear on this matter: prisoners are to receive adequate care and comfort. They are not, under any circumstances, to be denied the basic necessities of life."
"Are you finished?" Poe asked.
Hux opened his mouth, then apparently thought better of it, and tipped up his chin. "For the moment, yes."
"Good, it's about time. As I was trying to say —"
"You do struggle with simple words and phrases, don't you?"
Poe started for him, but Finn pressed him back, then kept his arm across Poe's chest. Angling himself between Hux and Poe, Finn cleared his throat. "We're in this together, okay? Can you two just deal? Please?"
"We wouldn't be in this situation in the first place if he hadn't decided to get fancy with his navigation." Hux sniffed and shook his over-long hair out of his eyes.
"One more time!" Poe shouted. "Blame me one more time! Do it!"
Hux's lips thinned past the point of visibility. "I believe I just did."
"Shut up! Everyone! Shut up!" Finn yelled. He curled his fingers into Poe's jumper to keep him in place and pointed at Hux. "You. Shut it. No one's interested in your bantha-shit."
Poe chuckled at that and Finn gave him a quick grin before Hux said, "Pardon me, but I believe that —"
Finn grabbed Hux's shirt and shook him. "I don't care! It doesn't matter!"
Hux glared at him. "The galactic high court shall care."
Finn shoved him back against the bulkhead. "No such thing any more! There's nothing left!"
Hux straightened himself slowly, adjusting his posture and smoothing down his clothes as best he could, given his cuffed hands. "Surely your pack of fools and cretins plans on rebuilding the necessities of civilization."
All the fight drained out of him, his shoulders slumping and head hanging, Finn turned back to Poe. Poe got an arm around him and helped him sit down.
Hux coughed. The sound was theatrical, entirely insincere. "I said, surely you —"
"Heard you," Poe said, without turning. "Could you shut up? Just for five minutes. Think you can do that?"
"Every prisoner has the right to speak," Hux said.
Sighing, Poe turned and faced Hux. He kept his hand on the nape of Finn's neck, however. Hux's gaze flickered from that to Poe's face and back again.
"Would you cut it out about prisoners' rights?" Poe asked. "We all know that if positions were reversed, he and I would be long dead."
"Excuse me, if you recall, I believe that I saved your lives —" Hux's upper lip twitched, as if his body itself were revolted by what he'd done.
"If we don't get out of here," Finn put in, "we're all going to die anyway."
Poe swallowed the automatic denial. Instead, handed Finn one of the tarps they had scavenged from the wreck. "Wrap up, okay?"
"I'd like my own," Hux said.
"I bet you would," Poe replied. "But there's only two."
"Precisely." When Poe stared in incomprehension at him, Hux added, "You two may share one and I will use the second."
"Nope," Poe said.
"Surely you'd enjoy some...privacy? A little romantic intimacy?" Somehow, he made "intimacy" sound both sordid and repulsive.
"Sure would." Poe nodded as he helped Finn adjust the tarp. "You've got no idea how much. Unfortunately, we all will be sharing both."
"No," Hux said. "Absolutely not."
"Hey, it's not like I want to," Poe said, as he ducked under the hem of the tarp. "Believe me."
When Hux swallowed and looked away, his cheeks looked almost hollow. After surviving, somehow, execution and then the Battle of Exegol, he'd spent nearly a year in hiding and on the run. To die here, locked up like an abandoned piece of livestock, would be a disgrace.
"On second thought, you probably don't give off enough body heat to make this worth it," Finn said.
They huddled together, arms around each other like foolish younglings, but they also held open the tarp, inviting him in.
"Hey, even evil skeletons emit some warmth," Poe told Finn. He eyed Hux. "Probably."
"Guess we'll find out," Finn said. He drew up his knee to make room for Hux.
Sighing heavily, ostentatiously not meeting anyone's eyes, Hux knelt, then tumbled backward onto his ass before finding his balance. Poe and Finn drew him inward, closing the circle.
Hux remained stiff-backed, narrow-eyed, flinching each time Finn tightened his embrace or Poe shifted closer. "This is unbearable."
Poe gripped the nape of Hux's neck. Hux went still, narrowing his eyes, but all Poe did was squeeze the tense muscles there. "Imagine how we feel."
"I expect you to keep a close eye out for any symptoms of frostbite."
Finn laughed. This close, it made Hux tremble, too. "Waxy gray-greenish skin isn't that far off from your usual, though. It's going to be tricky."
"Then the least you could do is take off my binders."
Poe slapped his back, then kept his arm around Hux's shoulders.
"Think of them as an extra layer, man. In a way, you're lucky."
"I am," Hux mumbled. "So very lucky."