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Wen Qing was seven when her childhood ended. She could only watch in horror as her relatives lost their souls and their lives, as A-Ning stood in danger of the same fate, as her father charged at the dancing fairy statue, as her mother sobbed over his fallen figure before she too succumbed to a swipe from the still angry statue.
She wanted to believe it was all a dream.
It wasn’t.
And as the years passed, the waking nightmare did not show any signs of ending.
She was ten when she saw the first puppet. Healers treated the living, but here in the city that never slept, there seemed to be little distinction.
She was twelve when the healer to whom she had been apprenticed died. He had failed to control the Chief Cultivator’s trembling hands and had been...it was a most horrific death. Wen Qing knew then, that she could not afford to make the same mistake.
She was fifteen when she first killed a patient purposefully. There had been a hole in his chest, a burnt out hollow where flesh should have been. She could have managed to save him still. But he had not wanted to live without a Core. She told herself she was being merciful, that neither Chief Cultivator nor Wen Zhuliu truly cared whether their victim died or not.
It would not be the only time.
She was seventeen when she handed the bowl of medicine to yet another maid. She would have to treat the bruises too; neither Wen Xu nor Wen Chao were known for their gentleness. Later that same year, she looked into the shadowed eyes of Wen Chao’s wife and gave her what she asked. A peaceful death. For her and her unborn child.
Wen Qing was twenty when she looked at her hands and felt bile rise up in her throat at the wave of self loathing she felt. Her parents would be so disappointed. She pushed that thought, along with all the other unpleasant things, to the back of her mind. She could not afford to think on them. Not when her survival depended on following orders. Not when A-Ning’s survival depended on her.
Her subconscious was not so obedient. Her days and nights merged; she could barely tell which nightmares were real and which ones weren’t.
Being at Cloud Recesses was also like a dream. What reprieve she had from daytime horrors were not worth the ones that haunted her at night. She took to wandering the back mountains, the moon and stars her main sources of light, even though it was against the rules. She had a mission. And...she was used to darkness anyways.
And so the sight of the lanterns...those fragile things of paper and wood that still managed to hold fire within themselves without dissolving into ashes...she was transfixed. She felt as though she was one of those lanterns. But would she ever be able to fly free?
She never thought she’d return to Mount Dafan. Certainly not for lack of wanting. In her mind, it was still home. In a way that Qishan never could be. But it was no longer the verdant mountains of her childhood. Like the statue, its heart had been corrupted, had been stolen. And the scattered remains of her people...surely they all had nightmares too. They would have new ones now.
“I cannot help you.” She told Lan Wangji and Wei WuXian in despair. No one could help any of them. They didn’t know...what happened here was but the tiniest taste of Wen Ruohan’s capabilities. The rot of QiShan Wen would spread. The darkness would spread until all light was snuffed. What did it matter if they could find the last Yin Iron piece? Wen Ruohan has spent decades mastering its powers. They could not contain such madness. They could not stop the dead.
“Wen guniang. Wait.”
She turned to face him. Jiang Cheng. Jiang Wanyin. Jiang gongzi.
He told her it wasn’t safe for her to be alone, to return to Nightless City alone.
She wanted to laugh in his face. Ever since that awful day...she had never been safe, would never be safe. She could not escape the monster that was inside herself.
“Save yourself.” She said.
“What do you mean?” He looked confused.
He was kind. He didn’t want to save the world. He was just as she had been once upon a time. Sheltered. Safe. Ignorant. Innocent. She was observant enough to know he felt an attraction. He shouldn’t.
She just shook her head and turned to go.
“Wen guniang.”
She glanced down at his hand on her elbow.
He did too, looking surprised at his own boldness as he quickly withdrew his arm. “I…”
“What happened here…” she told him, “will happen elsewhere too. It cannot be stopped. He cannot be stopped.”
He still looked confused.
“I have to go.” She had already said too much.
He must have been too stunned to stop her again. She did not look back to see.
A-Ning was safe. But only for the moment. Chief Cultivator showed her the consequences if she demonstrated any other signs of insubordination. He really needn’t have bothered. She was still shaken when she returned to her quarters.
“Jiejie?”
“A-Ning.”
“Are you alright, jiejie?”
She tried to muster a smile, “I’m just tired.”
Her brother looked at her with such clear eyes, “I understand, jiejie.”
How much did he understand? As much as she tried, she knew she could not prevent all the horrors of Nightless City from touching him too. He did help her make certain medicines after all. He never asked who they were for, but she had taught him enough for him to know their uses.
“I’ll make some cakes for you, jiejie.” He offered.
A-Ning liked cooking. They even had their own little kitchen for his use. “Thank you, A-Ning.”
He smiled at her and she couldn’t help but return it.
Her little brother. The only good thing in her life. But also a reminder of her failures too. Her smile faded. He deserved better. But she lacked the power to provide it for him.
Still, she would protect him to the extent that she was able.
He was the only thing keeping her from succumbing completely to the darkness.
And then...
She stared into Wen Chao’s surprised eyes as the light of life became extinguished. For a moment, Wang Lingjiao also stared at her in shock, before her face twisted into a mixture of anger and fear. Wen Qing felt detached from her body as she pulled out her sword from Wen Chao’s chest and pierced it through his mistress before she had a chance to scream.
She didn’t care that they were in states of undress, hardly decent. They must have been celebrating, she noted dispassionately.
Wen Chao had forced A-Ning to go with the other disciples into that cave, as punishment for helping Wei WuXian, for knocking out that hound in prison. He had left A-Ning for dead too.
It was the last mistake he would make.
Wen Qing had nothing to lose now.
She slipped away before Wen Zhuliu could be alerted.
She returned to Muxi Mountain, intent on making offerings to A-Ning. She knelt on the forest floor, her still bloody sword on the ground in front of her.
“A-Ning. Didi. Forgive jiejie. Jiejie never managed to take you away from Qishan. Jiejie...jiejie has failed you.”
She wanted to cry. But the tears would not come. Her eyes still burned.
There was the snap of a twig behind her.
“Have you come to kill me?” She asked and felt oddly calm. To be able to rest near A-Ning...perhaps she’ll protect him better in death than she had in life.
“Wen guniang.”
She froze. She knew that voice.
“Your brother...he remains unconscious. I tried to pass him spiritual energy, but I could not...I did not know what else to do.”
Somehow she found herself on her feet again and turned slowly.
Jiang gongzi stood before her, looking bedraggled but...alive. His eyes widened a little at the blood splatters that even her red robes could not altogether hide.
“If you’ll follow me, I tried to build a temporary shelter until you would come.”
“How did you know…”
“He is your brother,” Jiang gongzi said softly, “I know you are most devoted.”
She picked up her sword, noticing as his eyes flickered to it. “Show me.”
He nodded.
A-Ning was resting on a pile of leaves that Jiang gongzi must have gathered. She assessed him quickly. He should be waking soon.
“How?” She asked Jiang gongzi as she clung to A-Ning’s hand.
“We found an underwater tunnel and managed to escape.”
“Thank you.” She said earnestly, “for rescuing him and for waiting.”
“It was not completely selfless.” He shared. “Wei WuXian is still inside.”
His brother in all but blood. She had seen his devotion too, even though it was hidden beneath mock insults and impatient glares.
“You should have gone to fetch rescue…”
“Jin ZiXuan is doing that already.”
She nodded.
“Wen guniang...are you...are you wounded?”
She shook her head.
“Then...the blood…”
“Wen Chao.” She said. “Wang Lingjiao.”
He could not hide his surprise.
“I thought…” she looked down at A-Ning’s face. Paler than she would like, but...his breathing was even and his pulse steady beneath her finger.
“Are they...dead?”
“Yes.” And good riddance too.
But maybe Jiang gongzi would think it horrid of her.
“What will you do now?”
“Disappear.” She said, still not looking at him. Although, why should she care if he judged her?
“Disappear?”
She nodded, her attention on A-Ning as he began to stir.
“Jiejie?” A-Ning’s voice was so quiet.
“Yes…” why did the tears choose now to come? “Yes. Jiejie is here.”
“Jiejie...don’t cry.” His voice was gaining strength as he squeezed her hand.
“A-Ning...I’m so sorry. Jiejie could not protect you...jiejie almost lost you…”
“It’s alright. Jiejie, you’re here now.”
“Wen guniang.” Jiang gongzi was passing her a pale blue silk handkerchief. It was slightly damp. Right. He had said. They had to swim to safety. And he had managed it somehow even with A-Ning being unconscious.
“Thank you.”
She did not see judgement in his eyes, just concern and...sadness. Did he understand, then, that she had been willing to die?
“Where will you go?”
“I don’t know.” She answered honestly, “just somewhere far, far away from here. Where cultivation isn’t even heard of. The world is large...there must be someplace safe for the two of us.” Even as she said the words, though, she knew the foolishness of her hope.
“You could...you could come to Lotus Pier.”
She shook her head, “you don’t understand. Wen Zhuliu will hunt us. Chief Cultivator will insist on it. And...Lotus Pier will not be safe for long either. No one will be safe for long.”
“What do you mean?”
“He cannot be stopped.” She said again.
“Why not?”
“The Yin Irons.” She found herself telling him, “they give him powers that are...there is no counter. He will not rest until he has laid waste to the world. It has already started. What happened in Gusu, in Qinghe…”
“In Mount Dafan.” He noted.
He was right. It all started that terrible day when...when her world changed, when her nightmare began.
“I should have died.” She murmured.
“No.”
But she did not hear him. “I see now...the price for my life...has been the destruction of the world.” There was that sense of shame again. This time, though, she did not try to escape it. It was her burden to bear.
“Wen guniang…” he sounded like he wanted to comfort her, but didn’t possess the words. And why should he? For all that he was her age, he was still no more than a boy in his understanding of the world. What would he know of the horrors she had seen?
She turned back towards A-Ning, reaching out to help him sit up, “A-Ning...we have to go. Jiejie is finally keeping her promise to you. We will finally leave Qishan.”
“Alright, jiejie.” He had managed to stand next to her now.
A-Ning did not ask where they would go; his trust in her was...she did not deserve it.
“Meishan.” Jiang gongzi said suddenly. “My grandmother can shelter you. The mountains are treacherous, even for cultivators. They have secret passageways that can protect you.”
“Jiang gongzi. I cannot…”
“Yes. You can.”
“You don’t understand…”
“Maybe not now. But...someday, I hope you’ll explain it to me.” He reached around his neck, fished out a jade pendant, and offered it to her, “this will provide you safe passage. Grandmother had it made especially for me. She’ll recognize it.”
She did not take it. “Jiang gongzi. You barely know me.”
“I know that you need help right now. Help I can provide.”
“This debt…” Wen Qing’s eyes widened as she knocked him aside to meet the incoming sword with her own.
Wen Zhuliu had found them.
She was of course no match for him. She still tried. As did Jiang gongzi, to whom A-Ning must have lent his sword.
They could not win, especially not as she saw Wen Zhuliu reach out with his palm towards Jiang gongzi. She was too far away...no…
Wen Zhuliu’s palm connected, but it wasn’t Jiang gongzi’s chest it hit.
A-Ning. No. Not A-Ning. Not after Mount Dafan. No. Not A-Ning…not when she had just recovered him...she could not accept...she would not accept...
She had never felt such rage. She let her needles fly, paralyzing her foe, let her sword hack without finesse. She was fury personified. For her parents who were taken from her, for all her relatives who were swatted away like flies, for all the patients who she had helped slip away into eternal sleep, for...for A-Ning...the only source of light in the darkness of her life...she would not let Wen Zhuliu hurt anyone else ever again.
“Wen guniang!”
She could hear nothing but the roaring in her ears.
“Wen guniang!”
She struggled against the arms that restricted her movements.
“Wen Qing!”
She felt her sword slip from her grasp. She suddenly noticed that her fingers felt sticky.
She blinked and the world came back into focus.
Jiang gongzi released her now that she was still again.
“A-Ning.” she gasped.
Her brother had fallen to the ground again, but he was awake, his eyes blinking away his shock. Wen Zhuliu had perfected his technique over the years after all; he wanted his victims to be fully aware of what they had lost.
“Jiejie…”
“A-Ning…” what could she say?
“It’s alright jiejie. It’s never been very strong. I will manage fine without it.” He frowned, “jiejie, your hands…”
Wen Qing looked down then. Her hands were covered in blood. It was...it was appropriate really.
“There is a spring nearby,” Jiang gongzi said, his voice surprisingly gentle, “near where we had managed to exit the cave.”
“Jiejie,” A-Ning managed to stand again, “you’ll feel better once you’re clean again.”
She glanced briefly at the mess that was Wen Zhuliu’s body. Had she really…
“Wen guniang. This way.”
How was he not recoiling from her in horror? How could he still look at her with such...such compassion?
“Go on, jiejie. I’ll clean your blade.”
“No.” she would not part with A-Ning. Not again. She picked up her sword. “Come with us.”
A-Ning nodded, still obedient, “alright, jiejie.”
She did not feel clean, even if her hands were again. There was a gash on her forearm. But she was able to heal herself well enough. What she really needed was a bath and a change of clothing. Even then though...she doubted she’d ever feel clean.
A-Ning and Jiang gongzi had settled on some nearby boulders.
She joined them.
“It seems, Wen guniang, it is I who owe you a debt now.”
She blinked at him. What did he mean? A-Ning had saved him, in return for Jiang gongzi bringing him out of the cave. She had...
“You had knocked me away from his sword. Will you take this as my payment?”
He was still holding out the pendant.
“Jiang gongzi...were it not for me, you would have never been in danger in the first place.”
He shook his head. “If what you say is true...who’s to say he wouldn’t have been sent to Lotus Pier? I owe you a debt, let me repay it?”
“I have...I have killed…”
“Yes.” He still did not look judgmental, “you love your brother dearly. Enough to kill. That level of dedication…it is to be admired, envied even.”
“Envied?” she looked at him in disbelief.
“Will your sword be able to bear both of you? You’ll get to safety faster that way.”
She stared between the pendant and him for a long moment. She did need help. Especially with A-Ning now...she put away her pride. “I think so.”
He nodded as the pendant dropped into her hand and made to give A-Ning’s sword back to him.
Her brother just shook his head, “I have no use for it anyways. Jiang gongzi...I hope it’ll serve you well until you can retrieve your own sword.”
“Go then.” He told them, “before more come looking for you.”
“What about you?” She couldn’t help but ask.
“I’ve got a sword now, don’t I? It doesn’t seem to work as well as my own, but...it does seem to listen to me still. I should be able to get to YunMeng and return with help before Jin ZiXuan even makes it back to Carp Tower.”
“Be safe.” she said.
“Till next we meet again, Wen guniang.”
In testament to her level of cultivation, Sect Leader Yu did not look like she could have a grandson Jiang gongzi’s age. She was most surprised to see her and A-Ning alight from Wen Qing’s sword.
“That pendant…”
“Jiang gongzi gave it to me.” Wen Qing shared.
“He must have.” the older lady shared, “It’s charmed so that it can never be taken by force. He has to willingly give it to you.”
“I...my brother and I…we have nowhere else to go.”
“You are a Wen, are you not? The world should be your oyster.”
Wen Qing was not surprised at the hostility in that question. Meishan Yu was known for its pride; QiShan Wen had not made many friends with its arrogance.
“Not after I’ve killed Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu.”
Sect Leader Yu blinked at her. “What...extraordinary...claims.”
“They...they hurt my brother.”
“Did they?”
“Yes. He is...he no longer has a Core.”
“I see.”
Sect Leader Yu looked at them thoughtfully before standing from her throne. “Well then. A-Cheng has indicated that he trusts you. Tell me, Wen guniang, what skills do you possess?”
“I am a healer,” Wen Qing answered.
“Oh? You wouldn’t be from the Mount Dafan branch of the family, would you?”
“Yes.”
Sect Leader Yu did not smile, but some of her sternness seemed to soften. “Ah. Did you know, your grandmother and I had been sworn sisters? Come along, then. If you’re going to stay, at least make yourself useful.”
Wen Qing still suffered from nightmares. There were new ones now too. Images of A-Ning drowning, or collapsing this time with a hole in his chest, or sleeping peacefully only for her to find out that he no longer had a pulse. Other new ones too. Of Jiang gongzi becoming a puppet, his eyes empty of all emotion and thought, his movements jerky. Of him being cut down with a sword. Or him bursting into flames. All punishments for helping her.
She could not wander mountain trails as she had in Cloud Recesses. War had come even to MeiShan. They hid in the tunnels that Jiang gongzi had mentioned. Wen Qing found some comfort in the familiar movements of preparing herbs and brewing medicines to be used for those who kept the Wen forces from gaining a firm hold. Those who she treated were grim from the state of the world, but thanked her for her efforts nonetheless. It was...surely her parents could rest a little easier now.
A-Ning was still her capable helper. He really didn’t seem to miss his Golden Core. His gentle nature also made him a great favorite with the children. Perhaps because despite everything, he still retained his wide-eyed wonder for the world and an inherent sense of righteousness that was child-like in its simplicity. He was...happy here in Meishan. It was all Wen Qing had ever wanted for her brother.
Sect Leader Yu was a stern woman, but she did make time to tell Wen Qing stories of her grandmother, who had died long before Wen Qing was born.
“You remind me of her,” she said one day, almost three months since Wen Qing had arrived in Meishan. “And not just because you have her eyes. Neither of you say much, but like her, you are steady and dependable. Both of you also possess a hidden fierceness, especially when it comes to those you love. A-Cheng has chosen well.”
“Sect Leader Yu?”
“Child. You’ll be calling me Grandmother one day.”
“I don’t understand.”
“That pendant you wear still...I did give it to A-Cheng. But with the intent that he would one day give it to a most special young lady.” She lifted an eyebrow at Wen Qing’s silence. “You didn’t know.”
“I…” No. She did not.
“Are you averse to the prospect?”
“I…” what could she say? “I...I have blood on my hands.”
“So does A-Cheng. To hold on to Lotus Pier, to ensure that YunMeng does not suffer the fate of Gusu or Qinghe...my daughter and son-in-law have given their lives for it. A-Cheng has had to take on both the mantle of Sect Leader and a general leading his people to battle.”
“I…” Wen Qing knew well how damaged she was. For all that she had not been physically harmed, there were enough scars on her psyche that she could not, would not be a good wife to anyone. She had no wish to inflict herself on Jiang gongzi.
“It would also prove most advantageous for A-Cheng. The war is almost over,” Sect Leader Yu continued shrewdly, “We have driven the last of the Wen forces out of Meishan. The same thing is happening elsewhere across the cultivation world. Once Wen Ruohan falls...the other Sects will gather and take for themselves all the wealth that the Wen Sect has managed to accrue over the years. Wealth that you, as the last high ranked Wen, can claim for yourself. It would be...a more than worthy dowry. And ensure that YunMeng Jiang will be more than capable of holding its own against LanLing Jin.”
Wen Qing understood. And yet...“I do not know if I can provide him with happiness.” she admitted softly.
Sect Leader Yu was ready with a rebuttal though. “He obviously thought otherwise.”
“I would like…” Wen Qing said finally, “I would like to speak with him.” There were things he should know before he made such a commitment.
Sect Leader Yu nodded. “Not unreasonable. Sometimes, I wonder if my daughter would have been happier had she put away her pride and actually talked to her husband.”
The war ended. Wen Qing found herself back in QiShan. Nightless City even.
She followed closely at Jiang gongzi’s heels as he led her to Wei WuXian.
“It’s that sword.” he had said when he came to Meishan, “he’s been using it ever since the XuanWu Cave. It’s been a big factor in our abilities to keep YunMeng safe. It also defeated the Yin Iron pieces in Wen Ruohan's possession. It didn’t destroy them but rather...seemed to absorb them. Wei WuXian managed to destroy it, but...he won’t wake. I’m worried that he…”
She saw him the same desperation that she had felt when she thought A-Ning had died in the cave. She did not hesitate to hop onto her sword and follow him back to this accursed place.
Wei WuXian indeed looked comatose.
“It’s the two types of energy warring inside him,” she shared after her assessment. “I don’t know what that sword was, but even with its destruction, the residual resentful energy remains strong. His Golden Core is doing its best to fight it still, but he’s really been neglecting the usual cultivation path for the last few months. The toll on him is…” her voice trailed off.
“Can you help him?”
“I can only try.” She answered honestly.
“Please.” Jiang gongzi pleaded, his eyes on his brother.
She nodded. Fortunately, her needles seemed to help, both to give strength to Wei WuXian’s Golden Core and to cause diversions in the flow of resentful energy. Lan Wangji’s guqin playing further seemed to augment her treatments. He was more than willing to return faithfully every day. Their efforts were rewarded when, after three days, Wei WuXian opened his eyes and declared in a raspy voice, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”
Jiang Yanli burst into tears before going to the kitchen to make soup. Only after she had scolded her brother most thoroughly of course.
Jiang gongzi punched his arm, though he made certain to put no actual force in it, “don’t you ever scare me like that again!”
“Ah, Jiang Cheng! I didn’t know you cared!”
“You are my brother. Of course I care!” Jiang gongzi said impatiently, “These past few months, as we’ve protected our home together...why did you never say what that sword was doing to you?”
Lan Wangji also seemed to be waiting for the answer.
“It was necessary.” Wei WuXian declared. “And, well, I’m all better now, aren’t I?”
“Not quite,” Wen Qing shared. “You’ll still need treatment for at least the next six months.”
“Wen Qing?! You’re...you’re alive!”
“Should I not be?” Wen Qing asked him.
“Well...most people assumed you had died, that Wen Ruohan had you killed in retaliation for the death of Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu.”
“I see.”
“Where have you been?” Wei WuXian asked curiously.
“Meishan.” She answered tersely.
“Meishan?” Wei WuXian looked towards his brother, “Jiang Cheng, did you…”
“She couldn’t very well stick around here, could she?” He said reasonably.
“I...I suppose not.” Wei WuXian agreed before grinning at Wen Qing, “you’re quite a hero, you know!”
Wen Qing did not feel much like a hero. “I’ll go see if your sister would like any help with the soup.”
She found Jiang Yanli sobbing into her hands as the soup simmered.
“Jiang guniang?”
Jiang Yanli looked up, “oh. Wen guniang.” She wiped at her own tears, “I must look quite silly to you. Crying when I should be celebrating now that A-Xian has finally woken.”
Wen Qing shook her head. “I understand. I don’t know if Jiang gongzi ever told you, but when I saw that A-Ning was alive...tears are a natural reaction, I think.”
“A-Cheng did not say much,” Jiang Yanli shared, “only that you had defended your brother most assiduously. You must care for him very much.”
“He is…A-Ning is, has always been, my lifeline,” Wen Qing admitted.
“He is very lucky to have you for a sister.”
“As Wei WuXian is to have you.”
Jiang gunaing smiled a little as she stood to check on the soup, “Will you help bring the ladle and some bowls and spoons?”
Wen Qing nodded.
There were others wounded in Nightless City. They were wary of her, she could tell, but with Jiang Yanli at her side vouching for her and tales of her deeds that Jiang gongzi had managed to make known even before her return, they took the healing she offered.
Jiang gongzi found her brewing various medicines the day after Wei WuXian woke.
“You should be resting.” He told her.
“I don’t need much sleep.” She said even as she ground up another batch of herbs.
He was silent, just watching her for a moment. “You are invited to the discussion about what to do regarding QiShan Wen”
Wen Qing stilled.
“Sect Leader Jin wants to kill them all.” He shared.
A part of her wanted to agree. But she knew that wouldn’t be fair. Others had lived in fear, lived through the nightmare just as she had. Wen Ruohan was no kinder to his own than he had been to others.
“Your grandmother thinks I should offer QiShan Wen to you as my dowry.” She could not meet his eyes.
“That was not my intent when I gave you that pendant.”
She looked up, “then what was your intent?”
“I wanted to help you.” He sounded so earnest.
“Jiang gongzi…” she sighed and pulled it from around her neck and held it out to him, “Sect Leader Yu told me of its significance...I am not...I am not worthy of it.”
He shook his head. “Keep it. It was a gift.”
“I cannot hold on to it. You deserve...you deserve someone whole, someone...someone who’s not so filled with darkness...someone who can offer you peace that’s been so hard won.”
“Why can it not be you?” His brows were furrowed.
“There is blood on my hands.”
“We have all killed in this war.”
“You don’t understand. What I have seen, what I have done…” she paused to gather herself. She would offer him honesty. “I do not need much sleep because...because I have trained myself not to...in order to escape the nightmares that haunt me at night when I could do little about the nightmares of my days.”
He studied her for a long moment. “You are a healer.”
True and false at the same time. She was born a Dafan Wen, but how often had she broken the basic principles of her lineage?
He continued. “You healed many in Meishan. You are healing my brother. And are even now offering your help to strangers who have no reason to trust you.”
“It is...reparations. Just payment.” She owed the world a debt she’ll never be able to repay fully.
“What about yourself?”
“What do you mean?” It was her turn to ask for clarification.
“Who has ever bothered to assess you and heal you?”
“Jiang gongzi…”
“I am not a patient man,” he told her. “Wei WuXian can tell you that I have a terrible temper. A-jie can tell you that I’m irritable and too proud for my own good. My disciples can tell you that I am a strict trainer who frequently causes them discomfort. All things that make me a terrible candidate. But for you...for you I’d like to try.”
“Why?”
“The way you care for your brother...I admire your dedication. I still envy it. I want...I want it directed at me. I want to know that I can be worthy of such devotion too.”
“I am made up of broken fragments, held together through sheer will alone.” She told him.
“A sentiment to which I can relate,” he shared.
“It could prove disastrous. We could just further destroy one another.” She warned him.
“I’d like to try, nonetheless.”
She lowered her arm, the pendant still held in her grasp.
He took a step closer to her. “Will you let me?”
“It may prove an impossible task.”
“I am a Jiang. We always strive for the impossible.”
“You deserve better.”
“Let me see if I can help you get better.”
“I do not want to be a burden.”
“You won’t be.”
She took a deep breath. “You say that now, but…”
“I won’t change my mind.”
The war had changed him too. He was not as naive as he had been. Definitely more certain of himself now. But still so kind. And she...she did want to escape from her nightmare. “You are determined.”
“I am.”
“You grandmother...she has indicated her approval.”
“Has she?”
“She is not someone I’d like to disappoint.”
“Wen guniang?”
“A-Qing,” she said, “my parents used to call me A-Qing.” In days of peace. When she had still been innocent, unburdened. It was an appellation she had not heard in many years. But one she would like to reclaim.
He nodded. “Jiang Cheng or A-Cheng, I answer to both.”
QiShan Wen’s holdings were vast. Wen Qing was meticulous in going through paperwork so that every Sect, no matter how small or how decimated, received its fair share of reparations. QiShan Wen would cease to exist, but its people would be given a chance to start anew.
The matter of the still missing fourth Yin Iron piece was of course a topic for discussion as well. Sect Leader Jin used it as an excuse to demand the Wens’ extermination. Wen Qing gladly corrected him. Xue Yang was someone who delighted in pain and havoc; of course Chief Cultivator had greatly favored him despite his annoyance that Xue Yang never shared the location of the last Yin Iron piece.
“Your son had served Wen Ruohan, did he not?” She asked Sect Leader Jin, “he must have come upon Xue Yang sometimes.”
“Jin GuangYao knows well Xue Yang’s crimes,” Jiang Cheng added, “he had been with us when we captured Xue Yang in YueYang and also when Xue Yang escaped the Unclean Realm.”
“It seems,” Wen Qing stated, “that Jin GuangYao is the best lead we have on Xue Yang’s current whereabouts.”
ChiFengZun scowled.
“Are you suggesting that my son is aiding and abetting a known criminal?” Sect Leader Jin seethed.
“Of course not,” Wen Qing said calmly. “He is a war hero for having killed Wen Ruohan. I’m sure he would like to ensure that the world does not fall into chaos once more. Especially since even Wen Ruohan was unable truly to control Xue Yang. The location of the fourth piece is a secret Xue Yang has never divulged. Only in capturing Xue Yang again will the world be truly safe from such a threat.”
She stood, “if you gentlemen will excuse me, such important decisions are beyond the skills of a humble healer like myself. I also have a batch of medicines that needs tending.”
She bowed and walked out of the room. She had no intention of playing politics. She really just wanted it all to be over so that she could return to the simplicities of her youth.
Of her relatives from Mount Dafan, only Wen popo, Uncle Four, and A-Yuan were among the prisoners. Wen Qing still had hope that the others had hidden well and remained safe.
They joined her at Lotus Pier. Even if what was between her and Jiang Cheng was still new, she was still Wei WuXian’s supervising healer.
HanGuangJun was also a frequent visitor. Wen Qing really thought she could write quite a few manuscripts about the effects of musical cultivation on resentful energy. And...there was a wholesomeness in the way Wei WuXian and Lan Wangji danced around each other that did much to amuse her. She was not above using A-Yuan as a way for them to spend more time together. From the way Jiang Yanli smiled, Wen Qing knew she knew exactly what Wen Qing was doing. And approved. Well. There were both older sisters. And taking care of the child forced Wei WuXian to care for himself too. It was all part of his treatment.
She still had nightmares and found herself wandering the paths that meandered among the lakes and streams that dotted Lotus Pier. The water itself was a soothing balm compared to the smoldering fire of QiShan. The terrain was flatter than anywhere she had ever been, but the change was...nice. Peaceful. Appropriate really. Lotus blossoms were meant to stand for purity and rebirth.
She wasn’t the only one with less than pleasant dreams. She’d hear the sound of a dizi some nights. Others, she would see the purple flash of Zidian in the training yards. Occasionally, they would find even Jiang Yanli in the kitchen. On those nights, the four of them would gather and let Jiang Yanli sooth all their spirits with treats and her motherly fussing. They did not speak of their separate burdens, but just being in the company of family was healing in its own way.
Interspersed among the dreams of terrible things, Wen Qing began to recall more pleasant memories of her childhood in Mount Dafan. Of mother’s gentle chiding when father neglected a meal in favor of treating another patient. Of A-Ning’s delighted laughter when he toddled after the chickens. Of father’s smiling approval when he quizzed Wen Qing on her knowledge of certain herbs. She shared these with Jiang Cheng too, to balance out the horrors that she burdened him with.
In return, he told her about his own broken pieces. About his father’s favoritism, his mother’s sharp reprimands, his lack of self worth, his conflicting feelings about his brother.
“I think,” she shared as they sat on the bench and watched the shimmering reflection of the moon on the surface of the water, “that you and your siblings share a commonality; the three of you feel unworthy of love and care.”
“Are you not the same?”
She had learned that he was blunt about most things. She could appreciate such a tendency, for she behaved similarly.
“Unlike you, I have actually done things that make me unworthy.” She looked down at her hands. They were once more the hands of a healer these days, as she had been meant to be. But she could never forget that...
He reached and clasped one of her hands tightly in his own, “do not torture yourself so.”
She let out a long breath before daringly laying her head on his shoulder. To depend on someone else, to show vulnerability to someone else like this...it was a leap of faith for both of them. But Wen Qing rather thought that it would be worth the effort.
About six months after their return to Lotus Pier, Wei WuXian brandished a compass he had made and declared that he and Lan Wangji was going on another adventure.
“It contains the fragments of the sword,” he explained, “and should lead us straight to the last Yin Iron piece.”
“Should?” Jiang Cheng asked him.
“Well…” Wei WuXian shrugged, “it’s supposed to? Guess we’ll find out.”
“Is he well enough to go gallivanting off into the world unattended?” Jiang Cheng asked Wen Qing.
“Hey! I wouldn’t be unattended. Lan Zhan is coming too!”
Jiang Cheng ignored him in favor of looking at Wen Qing expectantly.
Wen Qing nodded, “Should be. He’s actually made a good recovery thus far, despite fiddling around with the sword fragments still.”
Jiang Cheng sighed as he turned towards his brother. “Fine. But you’d better return in one piece!”
“Or what?”
“Or...Or I’m going to give A-Yuan a puppy!”
“You wouldn’t!”
Jiang Cheng lifted an eyebrow, “wouldn’t I?”
Wei WuXian gaped at him before pouting, “fine.”
“I just don’t want to create more work for Wen Qing.” Jinag Cheng said, a little bit more patiently, “She’s got enough on her plate being the healer for all of Lotus Pier and going to the Unclean Realm to research and mitigate Baxia’s effects on ChiFengZun.”
“You didn’t have to tell Nie xiong you’d help,” Wei WuXian reminded him.
“He’s our friend.” Jiang Cheng said, “and it’s good for Sect relations.”
“Urg. Politics.” Wei WuXian made a face. “Hasn’t ZeWuJun been playing Songs of Clarity for ChiFengZun?”
“The combined technique worked so well on you,” Wen Qing said calmly, “it’ll be interesting to see if it works in this other context too.”
“Nie xiong might not thank you if it does.” Wei WuXian speculated, “because then he’ll have little reason not to practice the saber.”
“I think,” Jiang Cheng said seriously, “that Nie HuaiSang would much rather that his brother did not die from qi deviation.”
“Ah Jiang Cheng. There was never any danger of that for me!”
“Just possession.” Jiang Cheng retorted dryly.
“Well, I’m fine now! And oh look! There’s Lan Zhan! Well, we’ll be off then!”
Jiang Cheng shoved a money pouch at his brother, “let it not be said that we of YunMeng are so poor that we have to take advantage of Gusu’s generosity.”
Wei WuXian took it with a laugh, “thanks, Jiang Cheng!”
Jiang Cheng watched him go with a sigh.
“Do you wish you could go with them?” Wen Qing asked him.
“A little,” Jiang Cheng admitted, “but I am also proud of what I’ve accomplished for Lotus Pier so…” he shrugged, “we all have our destinies. Wei WuXian has always belonged more to the world.”
“How wise of you.” Wen Qing commented.
“I know I can be possessive,” Jiang Cheng said softly, “but...I also do want my brother to be happy.”
She smiled at him.
“What?”
“刀子嘴豆腐心 ( mouth as sharp as a knife, heart as soft as tofu) .”
“As if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.” But he was smiling too.
Wei WuXian and Lan Wangji did succeed in their quest. The compass took them to LanLing of all places. The resulting uproar against both Sect Leader Jin and Jin GuangYao caused both of them to be imprisoned and Xue Yan to be executed. Jin ZiXuan found himself the difficult task of regaining respectability for his Sect.
“I almost feel sorry for him,” Jiang Cheng stated.
“Almost?” Wen Qing asked him.
“He has caused A-jie too much hurt.”
“If he asks though…”
“A-jie will say yes. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.”
“But you want your sister to be happy too.” Wen Qing said knowingly.
He did not make denials.
Wen Qing did make visits to MeiShan where A-Ning had decided to settle.
“Sect Leader also has me teaching some basic healing to the disciples,” he shared with his sister, as he proudly showed her his little farm, “things that don’t require any spiritual powers.”
“Are you happy, A-Ning?”
He grinned broadly at her. “Yes. Jiejie. It’s peaceful here.”
“That is all I have ever wanted for you, A-Ning.”
“Are you happy, jiejie?”
She smoothed his hair. “I think A-Ning...I think I really am.”
“Good.” He said with conviction.
A year after Wen Qing’s arrival in Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng walked into her workroom, put something on the table, and said without preamble, “Marry me.”
She put down her brush and looked up. Though he sounded demanding, his expression still held uncertainty.
“Did you really think I’d say no?”
“You’re under no obligation…”
She took the package in hand, noting that the handkerchief that wrapped the mystery object looked familiar. It was a comb.
“I bought it in Caiyi Town,” he blurted out when she had still not answered, “after that nighthunt at Biling Lake.”
“Even then…” it was almost hard to believe.
He was blushing but nodded. “I’ve kept it with me, all this time.”
There really was only one thing she could say. “Yes.”
“Yes?”
The nightmares will likely never stop. But...she could tell what was real and what was not now.
She nodded.
“A-Qing…”
She had never seen him smile like that.
“Yes.”