Chapter Text
....12 years ago....
“Virgil wait! Talk to me!”
“Fuck off Princey!”
“I will most certainly do no such thing! At least not until you talk to me”
“Why do you even care?! It's not your problem or any of your business”
“Au contraire my dear emo nightmare. YOU, my good sir, are my best friend and are momentarily in the middle of a crisis of unknows origin. That makes it my problem.”
“....”
“Please. I know this is hard for you and that you want to be tough and untouchable at all times but just... just let me be there for you. I promise on my honor that I won't think any less of you no matter what.”
“What honor?”
“Oh, very funny, but it's nice to know that whatever happened hasn’t taken away any of your questionable sense of humor.”
“Oh bite me.... You really want me to tell you? Like everything? I don't want to bother and this really isn't the type of thing to just go away or be easily resolved. This isn't a fairytale.”
“But of course it is! With a dashing prince and a brooding knightmare like ourselves as the protagonists, what else could it be? And you could never be a bother to me, you should know that by now. I know we didn't exactly have the best start in this friendship, what with you being such a downer at times, especially compared to me being the life of the party -”
“-More like me not being a reckless idiot, unlike certain other people in this room...”
“Shush! And it took us a while to get along, but I will always be there for you, if you need something. You are aware of that.... right?”
“.... Yes I know. Sorry, it's just...”
“No need for further apologies! I understand.”
“The feelings mutual, y'know? The... not judging and being there for you part...”
“My, Virgil! Keep talking like this and I might actually start thinking you like me! To hear such declarations from you warms my heart after it nearly froze over from-”
“Yeah yeah, you need attention to not spontaneously die. Now, do you want to know what bothers me or do you want to keep talking about yourself like the narcissistic moron we both know you actually aren't?”
“Apologies, do go on.”
“Ok.... I can do this, just need to get the nerve to bring out the words...”
“Take your time, just alert me if this takes longer than three yea-”
“I'M PREGNANT”
“-rs.... WHAT?! How? Where? When? Are you certain? How?”
“Wow, way to stay calm and collected Ro”
“Shut it Nightmare on Emostreet! I promised no judgement, not to stay calm. I'm not the Nerd!”
“Really? Emostreet and Nerd? That's the best you can come up with?”
“I'm emotionally compromised right now alright?? I was not expecting that!”
“What did you think? That I would be freaking out like this over a failed assignment? Cause a college rejected me?”
“Well, that wouldn't exactly be out of character for you now, would it?”
“Point taken.”
“But a baby! A real honest to god flipping sipping dipping baby!”
“Please just say fuck, this is so much worse.”
“I can't curse! You're pregnant! I can't curse in front of a baby!”
“First off, I curse way more than you do, secondly I'm like four months in that kid's not gonna hear you.”
“FOUR MONTHS!”
“I should have just talked to L. He would be calmer.”
“How would anyone remain calm with you being four months pregnant?! Oh gosh, I accidently pushed you in the hallway last week, are you ok?!”
“Fuck yes, I'm fine Princey. I'm not made out of fucking glass.”
“How long have you known? Is there anything you need? Do you need Patton? Do you want me to go get Patton? I'll go search for him right this instead, do not move! Except if you feel the need to, I do not want to cause you discomfort is there anything-”
“Relax. You are actually freaking out about something more than I do for once and that in itself is concerning. God, you are acting like a concerned father who just got the call to drive to the hospital. No, I don´t need anything, except for you to calm down at the moment and if I find out you told Patton, I will personally murder you.”
“You are right. I'm sorry, I should leave the worrying to the professional, it's just a surprise.”
“No, it's alright. I freaked at the start too. I've just known longer. Sorry or whatever.”
“Well of course I forgive you after such a heartfelt apology! But on the subject of fathers. Who is the other one?”
“Hm? What do you mean?”
“Don't act stupid Virgil. It doesn't suit you. You know exactly what I am talking about. You need two people to make a Baby.”
“Wow really paid attention in biology didn't you?”
“Virgil. Stop stalling. What does the other person have to say about this situation.”
“Nicely said.... He technically doesn't know.”
“Virgil! You haven't told him?”
“To be fair, I haven't really told anyone besides you at this point and even that only happened, because you are unbelievably annoying if you want to be and if you don't want to be. Or more like, all the time.”
“Don't think insulting me will redirect this conversation. That only works on non-life changing topics. But I am flattered to know you think so highly as to tell me first.”
“I just said that I only told you to shut you up.”
“Yes, because that worked so well didn't it? Now please tell me who the lucky gentleman is, so that I may determine if I should give him my congratulations or challenge him to a duel for your honor.”
“Pfff, as if and I would hardly call him a gentleman. More like the opposite of that. And you can't challenge him to shit just as I can't tell him. He left the city a while ago and won't answer the phone. I tried ok?”
“Ah, so a fiend it is. Trust me, I will find him and make him pay for his offences against you.”
“What offence? I literally just told you he doesn't know. Also, trust me that you don't want to know who it is.”
“Of course I want to know! How else am I supposed to track him down and bring him back here to help you in this time of need? That is, if you want to keep the Child?”
“Yeah, I'm not sure yet what I'll do. I mean, I'm seventeen how am I supposed to raise a kid? I'm still in school, I don't have a real job, no idea if my parents would support me, no partner and really, that may be for the best given who the dad is, no clue about kids, -”
“Do you want this child?”
“That’s really the least important thing right now! Who cares if I want it? My wants are the last priority right now over their needs!”
“It does matter! Virgil, if you want this kid then I will support you. So will your friends and I'm sure your parents too. They did in the past and they will continue to in the future.”
“What if they won't?”
“Then we will find a way together. Even though I'm most assured they will, they are good parents and always supported you in the past no matter if the problem where bullies or you coming out. Trust me I know bad parents, just look at mine, and yours are as far from that as you can get.”
“Thanks. I guess I really needed to hear that. Guess I over panicked again, huh?”
“For once, completely understandable. Now I am really curious. Who is the mysterious father? Do I know him?”
“Oh yes and you won't like it.”
“Oh, please how bad can it be? It's not Logan, is it?”
“What?! No, of course not, why would you think that? And really? That’s your worst-case scenario? Logan?”
“Just imagine a tiny mixture of the two of you running around and criticizing me! The horror! The terrible fashion sense!”
“You're a moron and I also said he left the city.”
“So, someone we both know who left town in the last four months and whom I dislike? Well the only two candidates for that would be Janus, who I know you hate, and my.... No. Please tell me you had a one-nighter with that snake after drinking too much.”
“Sad to disappoint, but guess you're more involved than I said. Congrats on becoming an uncle, Ro.”