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Leaving the island, going to college, escaping his father, these all were things that JJ didn’t even dare to dream about. It was a slippery slope, searching for hope when there wasn’t any.
But he was able to break away from all the bullshit in his life with help that came not from his closest friends, but from the most unexpected place. A pink haired girl that made her way in his heart, without even trying, a girl that despite having her own demons, lived her life to the fullest.
JJ didn’t believe that he was capable of falling in love, yet he was in a stable relationship for nearly two years. And he would be damned if he was going to do anything that would destroy his new normal.
He was selfish, he knew that, but he was prepared to give his life away for her happiness.
“Hey, babe. How was the party?” As she stepped in the living room, his girlfriend was holding her coat with one hand, while the other she used to support her weight on the frame of the door.
“Can we talk a little bit later? I really need to sleep right now.” Her voice was hoarse, an usual thing after she was out with her girl friends. She undressed herself as she walked towards their bedroom, her moves strained and sloppy.
He didn’t put too much thought into it. It was Saturday and it would have been a shame to keep her awake if there was nothing to do. But, after a few hours, he heard a shriek.
When he went to see if she was alright, JJ believed that maybe she woke up and hurt herself by navigating in the dark, but he was not prepared for what he found after he turned on the light.
Eva was lying on the bed, her face stained by tears and make up. Her hands were covering her eyes, as she grasped for air.
“Love, what is happening?” With a few long strides, he was by her side.
“I feel so awful. I can’t breathe properly, my body is all aching. I can’t stand up” More tears damped her lashes as she explained, with a whisper. As he reached to wipe the droplets of water, he felt how hot she was.
“You have a fever. How about a bath?” Eva hated tea and pills, agreeing to them only as a last resort.
“I can’t stand up, JJ. My body is so heavy.” The delicate skin under her eyes turned purple, but he was sure that the color was not only from the mascara. Her lips were chipped.
“I will be back in a few seconds.” He hated to leave her alone. He started the water in the bathroom in order to fill the bathtub, before searching through the cabinets for some pills and some cream.
After he placed everything at reach, JJ returned to his lover. In his absence, she turned on her side, shifting in a fetal position. He could hear her breathing through her mouth.
“Love, I will lift you up.” He spoke while he scooped her in his arms. He learned a long time ago not to touch her without her being aware of his presence.
She was not fighting him, fatigue winning over her, her head falling on his shoulder.
He let her down on the rim of the bathtub, just to help her undress. She shivered as he took off the oversized T-shirt she was wearing. Her clothes were left forgotten on the bathroom floor, while she slipped inside the filled bathtub.
“I am so sorry.” she groaned as he rested her against the hard surface, yet she apologized.
“No need for that.” With a cloth he started to clean the makeup that was running down her face “I must say that this look would be wonderful for Halloween.” At his stupid joke a small smile apperead on her lips, despite the pain that she was in.
While she closed her eyes, he moved behind her. With slow moves he started to gather her hair and braid it. As he worked the pink strands of hair, JJ the first time he played with her hair. It was so much shorter at that time. They were on a beach in the Cut, laughing, drinking beer and just having a good time with John B, Kiara, Pope and Sarah. It was perfect.
When he was done, he moved his hand on her shoulders. He could feel the tension dissolving under his fingers. She moaned a little and leaned her head forward, giving him better access.
“You are the best, JJ.” At her words, he started to leave soft kisses along the tender skin of her neck.
“How do you feel?” In the few years he knew her, JJ got used to the idea that his girlfriend might work herself to the point of fainting, but he never saw her sick. Usually, all she needed were a few hours of sleep and some food to get her back on her feet, running around.
“Like I am getting back from death’s doors.” She was no longer burning up, that made him smile. H
JJ didn’t know how much time passed when Eva told him that she wanted to get out, but when he looked at her eyes, the redness caused by her tears was no longer there, while her breathing became even.
He helped her out of the bath, without caring about how wet his clothes were turning from supporting her weight against his. With a fluffy towel he started to dry her body, as she was holding onto him as a means to stay on her feet.
“I love you, JJ.” Her arms circled his torso, as she leaned on him. His arms embraced her small frame, kissing the top of her head.
“I love you, too.” He felt awful for enjoying the fact that she was comfortable enough with him, to the point where she allowed herself to be dependable on him.
Eva was never a clingy person, as she hated the need for attention from a specific individual. Despite being mad in love with each other, she made it clear from the very beginning their boundaries. But, she was one of the most affectionate human beings he ever met.
Bringing him all kinds of trinkets, snacks and games to keep him entertained whenever he was feeling fidgety was just one of her ways of showing him how much he meant for her. Life was never stopping when he was with her.
And there was nothing that he wouldn’t do to make her feel loved.
“You are shivering, let’s get you to bed.”
A few moments later, she was dressed in one of his shirts and tucked under her favourite blanket.
She actually agreed to swallow some medication without arguing with him.
“Would you mind if we would watch a movie or something?” Her voice was small. JJ understood that her real question was if he would stay with her.
“Any preferences?” She declined by shaking her head.
As he sat beside her, Eva snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest, just as his hand wrapped around her shoulders.
“I am sorry for making you look after me.” It was one of her traits, to actually feel guilty when she desperately needed help.
“This is the only place I want to be. Here, by your side.”
And it was the naked truth. He was happy to just look after her, without any other strings attached.
The first time he met Eva, he assumed that she was just like the Kooks on the island. Dreaming only about money and status, but he was so far away from the reality. For her, it was the small things that mattered the most.
On their first date, JJ took her to see the sunset from the highest point on the island. The fascinated smile she wore that day was one of his fondest memories.
The movie played in the background as JJ drew circles on her skin, an action that most times was enough to get Eva to relax and fall asleep.
She only stirred when he turned off the television, leaving them in complete darkness. It was a time where darkness scared him, but not anymore.