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“Hey Tifa, I…. There are a lot of things I wanted to talk to you about. But now that we’re together like this, I don’t know what I really wanted to say... I guess nothing’s changed at all… Kind of makes you want to laugh...”
Cloud sighs in frustration. This is how it always goes; he tries to open up, hesitates, and then the moment passes him by.
But surely, Tifa already knows what he's trying to say? She was the one who mended his fractured mind in the Lifestream. He’d been a puzzle that only she could solve, each piece of him wrapped in secrets. Now she knows them all. Yet still, he can’t find the words?
They had climbed down from the Highwind to watch the sunset. After all, if they fail to defeat Sephiroth tomorrow, it may be their last. The rest of the team have left to tie up loose ends and say goodbye to loved ones. But Cloud and Tifa have no one to see and nowhere to call home. The fact doesn’t make him as miserable as he thought it would. Perhaps it’s because home has started to feel like wherever Tifa is.
She stands with her back to him, silhouetted by the sunset, but he sees her head drop. Is she disappointed with his vague admission? He’s always letting her down. Always failing to fulfil his promise. But he's come to realise that his promise isn’t just about being there to save her, it’s about being there for her... like, as a friend, or maybe even... more than a friend?
Tifa’s voice is clear and steady when she tells him, “Cloud, words aren’t the only thing that tell people what you’re thinking.”
Cloud’s head snaps up, his churning mind brought to an immediate standstill.
The sentence hangs in the air between them, a bold invitation, a solution, a dare. Can he dare to believe that she feels the same?
Tifa is as still as a statue while she waits for his response. He swallows, mouth dry, and forces his leaden feet towards her.
Cloud moves to her side, close enough that he can feel the warmth of her arm next to his, the tingle of almost touching, like electricity sparking between them. Keeping his attention on the sunset, he lightly brushes his fingers against hers in askance. She responds by turning her palm towards him, and he laces their fingers together.
He exhales a held breath quietly. Whatever courage he has on the battlefield, it has all but deserted him now. It's not like they've never held hands before, but it has always been a necessary thing, or something that's happened on impulse, in the heat of the moment, triggered by fear or adrenaline. This is different. This is touching to be tender, to convey the feelings that he's kept locked away for so long.
When he risks a sideways glance, he’s surprised to see Tifa looking just as nervous as him. She’s tense, colour blooming in her cheeks, but offers a shy smile when she looks at him through her lashes. His stomach flips.
The corner of his mouth quirks upwards, while he gently tugs on her hand, pulling her round to face him. Large garnet eyes, filled with guarded anticipation, lock on his as she grants his silent request to come closer. He tries to keep his breathing even, with her face just inches from his. The fear of disappointing her with his lack of experience makes him hesitant to close the gap. He is out of his depth here.
As if she knows, Tifa leans forward to rest her forehead against his, offering him a moment of respite to gather his resolve. Cloud closes his eyes, concentrates on the feel of her breath playing across his face, the scent of vanilla that always clings to her hair. He lets it pull him in, gently bumping their noses together, nuzzling. Tifa responds, tilting her head until, finally, their lips brush softly. A small, shaky breath escapes him, before he repeats the contact, enjoying the fullness of her lips, revelling in the fact that she reciprocates, the fact that he is actually kissing Tifa Lockhart!
His need soon overcomes all doubts. He releases her hand to skim his fingers up her arm, before stroking along her jaw and cradling her head. This time he kisses her firmly, pulling her closer, growing bolder by the second. He nips gently at her lower lip, something he’s been dying to do since she bit it shyly that time when he called her beautiful. Tifa lets out a small groan as she opens to accept his explorations, twining her fingers in his hair, seemingly just as intoxicated as him.
Once he’s had a taste of her, he can’t stop. With his embrace he tells her how much he needs her, with his touch he tells her how precious she is to him, and with his lips he tells her how much he loves her, and always will.
Gradually, the sky turns from orange, to pink, to twinkling stars. They reflect in Tifa’s eyes, dilated and sparkling like rubies when they break apart for air. Cloud takes in her flushed cheeks and kiss swollen lips with wonder. She leans against him, hands on his chest and he wraps her in his arms, enjoying the closeness. He wishes they could have had this sooner, and now this might be all the time they get. But the night air has cooled significantly and Tifa shivers in his arms.
“You cold?”
“A little,” she replies against his chest.
“Want to head inside?”
She nods and he releases her, wishing the night didn’t have to come to an end.
“I think we missed the sunset,” Cloud muses, as they head for the ladder to the airship.
Tifa pauses and looks up, “I think I prefer the stars.”
Cloud smiles to himself as he joins her, gazing up at them. "Me too."
Once back on the ship, they stroll slowly to the sleeping quarters, trying to prolong their time together. Cloud finds himself stealing sideways glances at Tifa all the way, until she catches him, and he looks away quickly like some love-struck teenager. She fails to hide a smirk and Cloud cringes internally. Why is he acting like this? He’s a grown man now and he wants Tifa to know that.
“Well, this is me,” Tifa says, as they reach the door to her sleeping cabin. Her voice is pitched slightly higher than usual.
Cloud takes a step towards her, “I’ll say goodnight then.”
He brushes her hair behind her ear, pulling her in for a goodnight kiss that he hopes will make her weak at the knees. Their lips meet with a sense of urgency, arms winding tightly around each other, hands wandering, hers gliding over biceps and pectorals, his tracing exposed collarbone and midriff. Cloud allows his desire to take over, pushing her back against the door, a hand on her lower back pressing soft and pliant curves against hard planes. Tifa lets out a breathless moan that sends his mind down a road he shouldn’t be taking. He pulls back and rests his forehead against hers while he slows his breathing. He doesn’t want to go too far. Tifa’s right hook is not something he wants to be on the receiving end of.
“Sorry… got a little carried away...” he mutters, stepping back and scratching the back of his neck.
Tifa remains where she is for a moment, leaning against the door, her chest heaving. Her eyes are a deeper shade of burgundy than he’s ever seen them, but she quickly casts them downwards, brows pulling into a slight frown.
His heart stops. Did he do something wrong?
She straightens, running a hand through her hair. Then she bites her bottom lip thoughtfully, before meeting his gaze again.
“Cloud, I… didn’t say anything about going to sleep...” she laughs nervously.
Cloud’s eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. She wants more? The thought alone makes him a strange mixture of ecstatic and terrified.
“Oh! Unless you’re tired?” Tifa blurts in a panic, wrapping her arms around herself.
That has Cloud bewildered. Doesn't she know how much he wants her?
He reaches for her chin and gently tilts her face up until she meets his eyes. Then, with a shy smile, he shakes his head. Nope, not tired at all.
Tifa swallows, and the corners of her mouth twitch into a bashful smile of acknowledgement. She reaches blindly for the handle and opens the door. Then, with unwavering eye contact, Cloud backs her into the room and closes it behind them.