Chapter 1: Chapter One
Chapter Text
I was dreaming.
Most people cannot tell when they are dreaming, and I admit I am usually inexcusably lax when it comes to this matter as well. Why, just a few weeks ago I had dreamt of being Archmage of the Mages' Guild and ordering all my underlings to pick cats from trees when they were ripe because we needed new apprentices... and not realised the impossible nature of it all until after I'd woken up. Shameful! However, this time there were several things that led me to cleverly deduce I was, in fact, asleep and my current situation a product of my subconscious mind.
First of all, I was in the middle of a mountain range, looking at a large volcano. The ground was grey and ashy, the only vegetation twisted trees, black branches grasping at the sky. Lava pools dotted the landscape, giving the whole scene an eerie glow.
Now, although it all looked rather fantastic I was perfectly happy to accept this place might exist somewhere, but my presence in it was another matter. I should not be seeing anything except my own personal cell in the Imperial City prison, and very occasionally my jailer - much though I'd rather forget that sight. Let me just say the sloppy gruel I was served twice a day, with its unidentifiable lumps and disturbing tendency to seem to move every time I looked away, was infinitely more attractive and charismatic. And although I'd told him I'd appreciate a change of decor, I'd more been thinking of wallpaper and maybe a potted plant.
Secondly, the sky was red. And by that I don't mean some poetic exaggeration of a sunset - the entire sky was a bright, vivid, uniform crimson. It looked as if someone had spilled a sea of blood among the stars. Wisps of grey clouds raced across it, forming strange patterns. For a moment, I thought I saw a face, screaming...
Apparently, I'd been so occupied keeping my track of my conscious thoughts that I'd sorely neglected my unconscious. If it was going to throw blood skies and clouds in agony at me, we were definitely going to have to have a talk.
Lastly...
I looked down. Several hundred feet below me, a tree looked as if it was about to rip itself out of the ground and hunt unwary passersby for dinner.
If I could fly, I really thought I would have noticed that earlier.
"You know," I said out loud, "If I'm going to dream, I would like to dream about something pleasant. Something like... Summerset Isle." I'd seen a drawing of it in a book once and been struck by the beauty. "Although I suppose it must be full of snooty Altmer. Or I could dream about managing a daring escape from prison underneath the guards' noses. Or... I know! A secret tunnel built into my cell and a bunch of... Blades, yes, Blades need to use it, and I escape behind them." That seemed the right sort of incredibly improbable fantasy for a dream.
I closed my eyes, focussed on the image of the wall of my cell swinging back and a group of Blades and... why not, if you're going to fantasise you might as well do it properly... the Emperor dashing through it. Opened them again.
Volcano.
I shook my head at it sadly. "This really won't do, you know. You seem to be misunderstanding something here - I'm the one that makes the rules. I'm sure you're a very nice volcano, but I'd like to see daring escapes. This is my dream and I don't hold with rebellion."
"Your dream?"
I shrieked.
The voice was just a sibilant whisper, but it seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere at once, seemed to be composed of thousands of voices all layered on top of each other, and even after it had finished speaking the echoes lingered in the air.
"This is not your dream, foolish child. I am the one that has brought you here and you. Will. Listen." The voice kept growing, filling the air like a gong. I clapped my hands over my ears, but to my horror it didn't do anything - it was as if the sound was coming from inside my head.
"I'm listening! I'm listening!" I screamed. My voice sounded tinny and hollow compared to the... other one.
"Good." The voice paused for a moment. My panting breath echoed loudly in the stillness.
"Wake up!" Another voice, this one, as hollow as mine - a pebble compared to an avalanche, impossible to focus on.
"The preparations are complete. You have been taken from the Imperial City, to the east, as it should be. Fear not, for I am watchful." I could barely think, but managed to dimly wonder how exactly that last sentence was supposed to make me feel less afraid. "Soon, you will arrive. Soon, you will fulfil your promise."
That was too much. "What promise?" I shouted, hands dropping from my head to ball into fists at my side. "I haven't promised you anything! I don't make promises as a matter of principle, it can't possibly have been me who, who did whatever you're talking about you have the wrong person-"
"It has already begun." Despite the sheer overpowering alien nature of the voice, I could tell there was a strange note of satisfaction in it.
A soft crackling noise made me glance down - then I stared in horror. My hands were changing. The very bones were shifting, cracking and then rehealing as they grew in ways nature had never meant them to. My skin was writhing, puffing outwards and its colour was slowly, ever-so-slowly growing lighter, yellowish, metallic-
"You're dreaming, wake-"
"Wake. Up."
I came awake with a start, still caught in the dreamworld. That changed when I jerked myself into a sitting position and-
"Ow!"
I let myself fall back onto the floor with a groan and rubbed my head with one hand - although on the whole stars were preferable to volcanoes, I'd prefer not to see either when I closed my eyes. Apparently, my cell had suddenly gained a very low ceiling.
"Typical. Sleeps through the entire voyage, including the storm last night where I thought the ship was about to go under, and then decides to get up the precise instant I'm leaning over her. Just typical." Or maybe it wasn't the ceiling I'd cracked my head against.
Or, for that matter, my cell I was in.
"Sorry about that," I croaked. My throat felt as though I had screamed myself hoarse.
"You almost broke my nose," the voice complained. Dimly, I recognised that it was the second voice from the... dream. "Do you know how long it took me to get it into this shape? Just crooked enough to be mysterious and give me the look of a proper, dashing rogue straight out of the romance novels without being disfiguring. You almost ruined it!"
"Are you saying," I asked weakly, "that you break your nose regularly? For the sake of... attracting ladies?"
"And now you're insinuating I'm crazy enough to break my nose on purpose!" A pause. "I got a friend to do it."
The stars were gone, so I felt quite justified in carefully opening an eye and gauging the appearance of my new, eccentric, roommate. Immediately after, I opened the other one to stare.
The man – no, the mer – was leaning against a wall. His head was bald and covered in tattoos, his nose slightly crooked without being off-putting, giving him – I admit – a rather debonair look, even if the rough clothes detracted from it somewhat. His eyes-
And here came the reason I was staring. His eyes were as red and his skin as grey as my own.
Fragmented images from the nightmare swirled back into my mind and I stopped gawking in order to chance a quick glance down at myself. Yes, my skin was still grey, my hands the same shape they'd always been. Gawking could resume presently.
"Your judgement of the matter, m'lady?" the other dark elf said, and I realised he thought I'd been staring at his nose.
"It suits you," I told him quickly. Considering how fed up I'd always become when people stared at me, I didn't want to do the same to anyone else. Especially considering he was the same race I saw every time I looked in the mirror, even if I didn't often see it outside of one. How embarrassing! "Good look, although the clothes don't exactly scream 'storybook hero'. And if you really got someone to break your nose for it, you're mad."
"Unfortunately, prisoners have never been given the finest selection of clothing. It's always 'sack, sack with holes or sack with more holes – take your pick.' Terrible shame, that," he answered, his face falling mournfully. "And as for the nose, well... I did – in a way. A friend certainly did break my nose, and he informed me later that I had been asking for it. Namely, by saying what I said about his sister, and by being too drunk to dodge."
"What you said about his sister? If it was some slander, I may have to stop speaking to you," I said, raising an eyebrow.
"I was perfectly courteous!" he protested. "Well, perhaps a bit too courteous, if you understand what I mean. My friend has always been a bit... overprotective, and when I expressed interest..."
"Say no more." I could imagine the scene very clearly in my mind's eye, and suddenly had a difficult time suppressing laughter.
"Indeed, I shall stop dwelling on such past flames and give proper attention to the present one." He bowed, a gesture that looked particularly ridiculous given his clothes, my clothes (in no better condition than his) and our surroundings, which, although not my cell, were just as bare of any amenities - I sadly noted the lack of wallpaper and potted plant. I'd really wanted that potted plant. "My name is Jiub. What would yours be, oh fair lady Nosebreaker?"
"Adryn. And I didn't break your nose!" I protested.
"Came very close, if my chin hadn't been in the way... anyway," Jiub sighed, the comedic manner dropping away, making him look much older and more tired. "We should be reaching Morrowind soon. I'm sure they'll let us go."
It was my second big shock in as many minutes. "Excuse me, did you just say Morrowind?"
"Well, obviously, since that's where the ship's bound for – oh wait, you've been asleep since before you boarded, haven't you?"
"There may have been some magic involved," I said defensively.
"Oh, I was sure that there was magic involved. Or possibly that you were on the brink of death. We've been travelling for three days now, you see."
The news that I'd slept for three days – at least – wasn't nearly as disturbing as it should have been; I suppose three shocks in as many minutes were where my mind went on strike.
"Anyway, yes. This ship is headed for Morrowind."
Morrowind. I stared – past Jiub this time. It was a place I knew next to nothing about. I knew it was in the far north-east of the Empire, one of the remotest provinces. And, of course, I knew one other thing, one that had always fascinated me deeply – it was the home of the dark elves.
I hadn't the faintest idea why I was on a ship – and now that Jiub had told me, I realised the shape of the room we were in and the rocking motion should have told me immediately that was where I was; I blamed grogginess from the long sleep – heading to Morrowind of all places.
Heading east.
I shivered as the words from my dream floated to the top of my mind... you have been taken to the east. You will fulfill your promise. then shook my head, trying to drive them out of my thoughts. It wouldn't matter at all where we were heading, I told myself. One Imperial prison was much like another, after all, and as for the dream? I'd probably just reacted badly to the magic they'd used to induce sleep.
It has already begun...
Just my imagination, I told myself firmly.
We chatted for a while, Jiub dropping the sombre tone with alarming speed. I wasn't sure whether it was me or himself he was trying to cheer up with his exaggerated, foppish manner. If it was me, it worked splendidly. I was actually giggling, the dream almost entirely forgotten when Jiub shushed me, warning that the guard was coming.
The guard came to see us sitting on the floor side-by-side in perfect silence, faces perfectly composed as we stared back at him. He muttered something that sounded like "crazy Dunmer", then barked at me to come with him.
Only me, apparently; I looked helplessly towards Jiub, who just shrugged, the message 'what can you do' clearly evident in his expression. Then I hurried after the guard.
He shooed me through the hold and finally up onto the deck of the ship after saying, "let's keep this as civil as possible." I'm not entirely sure why the warning. What was he expecting me to do – sit down on the floor and refuse to go a step further? Because an Imperial prison ship is such a wonderfully pleasant place to be, after all. They'll start renting them out as cruise ships for the nobility in Imperial City any day now, I'm sure. Or maybe attack him with my bare hands?
Needless to say, the proceedings were perfectly civil on my side of things. Really, if anyone needed the reminder he did – apparently basic politeness was beyond him. Too much for his already overworked little brain, I conjectured.
The guard didn't follow me outside and I took a moment to catch my breath – I was really in terrible shape, and the fact that it was much, much warmer than I was used to didn't help – and look around.
I stared.
The ship was docked at a small village, consisting of some houses built in typical Imperial fashion but mainly shacks that looked as if they were about to sink into the surrounding swamp. The entire coast seemed to be swamp, in fact, turning into low hills further inland. It seemed the land rose even further; in the distance, I thought I could make out a mountain range. The swamp was filled with greenery, all of it entirely unfamiliar to me. The trees were alien, the flowers were alien, even the mushrooms were alien. (Yes, I am sure. They were quite a distance away, it is true, but the mushrooms I was used to don't glow.) The air was filled with strange sounds – no bird-calls, but chittering and clicking and strange hoots.
Oh, and there was a giant flea standing just past the village.
I looked at it for a moment, then decided it was a hallucination brought on by too much sleep.
Someone cleared their throat. I jumped.
Apparently, I couldn't be trusted to walk two feet by myself; here was yet another guard. And down there on the dock was a third. Wonderful.
I endured the rat-race of being escorted from guard to guard and finally made my way through the door of what Guard Number Two had called the "census office". (Guard Number Three had merely wanted to know where I was from. Frankly, if the people supposedly in charge of registering arrivals don't even know where the ships coming in are from, this place is in deep trouble.)
Inside, I was greeted with another guard and – for a change – a bureaucrat. Now, some people might be puzzled that I can recognise bureaucrats on sight. Personally, I find it very easy. There is a certain aura bureaucrats have, one that seems to incite a mixture of suicidal and homicidal impulses in those forced to be around them – I know it well.
The bureaucrat, an elderly Breton, started talking. "Ah yes, we've been expecting you."
Now that was worrisome. Expecting me? Since when was I important enough that anyone should be expecting me? I'd been expecting something more on the lines of "I have no idea who you are or what you did and I don't particularly care. Off to X Imperial prison with you."
"My name is Socucius Ergalla-" correction, an elderly Breton with delusions of being Imperial. Very sad. "-and I am in charge of the Census and Excise office here in Seyda Neen. Now, you'll have to be recorded before you're officially released."
"Wait. Released?" I asked.
Ergalla looked distinctly annoyed at having been interrupted. "Yes. Released. As I was saying, we prefer to record all incoming individuals to this island and-"
"You mean you're just letting me go?"
"I should have thought that would be obvious," he snapped, and unrolled a piece of paper. "I have the orders right here. 'By order of Emperor Uriel Septim VII, prisoner 103841's sentence is to be changed from ten years' imprisonment to exile in the province of Morrowind.' Now if you would let me continue..."
I shut up, not in order to comply with his instructions but because I found myself speechless.
The Empire doesn't just shoo prisoners out the door with a "so sorry for the trouble, here, have fun in your new home." And what was this about 'by order of the Emperor'? I dearly hoped that that was some kind of bureaucratic formality, because although I had no idea why the Emperor himself might take an interest in me, one thing I was sure of – it couldn't possibly be a good thing.
"Anyway. What is your name?"
"Adryn," I said for the second time that day.
Ergalla cocked an inquisitive eyebrow. "Just 'Adryn'? No family name?"
"No," I snapped.
"Hmm. Interesting." He picked scribbled something on a sheet of paper. "Your place of origin?"
"Do you mean the place I grew up in, the place I spent most of my adult life or the place I was living in last?" I asked.
He sighed deeply. "Origin," he repeated, as if that should make everything obvious.
"Try 'birthplace' if that's too complicated for you," the guard threw in.
I glared at him. Having my intelligence insulted by an Imperial guard, how low had I fallen? It was an honest bit of ambiguity, even if I was a little snide about it.
"In that case, Daggerfall." My tone was distinctly frosty.
"Really? I'd have said you have a bit of a Skyrim accent about you. It's in the vowels, you know." Much to my dismay, the guard had apparently decided to be talkative.
"Look, if you ask for birthplace I'll give you my birthplace," I said, utterly exasperated. "And considering I asked for clarification I would expect that any being more intelligent than pond scum would realise-"
Ergalla cleared his throat without looking up from his papers. "This antagonistic attitude is entirely unnecessary, and is causing an unconscionable delay in processing. Cease it immediately." The guard smirked. I fumed. Quietly. "What is your profession?"
My profession? Well... let's see, what had people called me? Oh yes, there'd been thief, pickpocket, crook, good-for-nothing, 'damned demon of a dark elf'... I rather liked the sound of the last, truth be told. Probably not quite the thing to say if I wanted to stay out of prison, however. And there was one other, more respectable one that would be accurate. One I'd been curious about ever since I was a child, one I'd always worked at and wanted to become even when events forced me into other directions.
"Me? I'm an alchemist."
Ergalla gave me a penetrating look, and for a moment, I thought he would dispute that. But in the end, he simply 'hmm'ed and continued scribbling. The sheet would be full in less than a minute if he continued on that way.
"Would you say you specialise more in the arts of magic, those of combat, or those of stealth and speechcraft?"
"Magic." This was not an entirely honest answer, I admit, as my skills really lay more in the third direction - I could hide well, had a quick tongue and was rather deft at picking pockets and locks. However, I did mention trying to stay out of prison, and I figured telling an Imperial official I was best at stealth was just under telling him I was a thief in terms of 'really really stupid ideas' when it came to that goal. Besides, I did have an interest in and knack for magic even if I was a little rusty.
As for combat? If you gave me a weapon, there was only one thing I could be sure of hitting. My foot.
"Ah yes. Now, what is your preferred weapon, your preferred armour, and what schools of magic do you specialise in?"
I gaped at him. "Excuse me, is all this really necessary?"
Ergalla looked wounded. "Of course it is! In order to allow us to gather data on immigration patterns and facilitate your rehabilitation-"
I blinked. The words he was using seemed to sprout more and more syllables. "How about you give me the forms and let me fill them out? Otherwise we'll be here all day."
He looked distinctly unhappy at that idea, but couldn't seem to think of a reason not to. He handed me the papers with a long-suffering sigh.
I handed them back some time later, now covered with writing, and massaged my hand. Although I could understand that the authorities on this island might want to know whether I was a potential axe-murderer, I remain puzzled as to why they need to know, for instance, precisely how high and far I can jump.
Bureaucracy.
Ergalla took the papers back eagerly, looking over them with a jaundiced eye as if afraid I'd cursed them. After reading through them several times while I stood and fidgeted, he put them down onto the desk and faced me again.
"Very well. One more question if you please." I opened my mouth, prepared to protest – what did they want to know now? My shoe size? I'd just about had it with this "processing" – but Ergalla didn't give me a chance to say a thing.
"The letter that preceded you mentioned you were born under a certain sign. And what would that be?"
Letter? Was this the same letter in which the Emperor personally (possibly) ordered my release? And why on earth did the Empire care about my birth-sign, of all possible things? Unfortunately, Ergalla's expression seemed to promise a quick and messy end if I were to make any more trouble, so instead of making a fuss I just said meekly, "The Lover."
And was immediately reminded why I generally lie and claim to be Lady-born as the guard who was really, really far too gregarious for his own good started fighting a smirk. I shot him a glare that should, by rights, have frozen lava.
It seemed to have some effect; the guard composed himself – with visible effort – and mumbled "Sorry, m'lov- er, m'lady-"
He let out a high-pitched giggle and covered his face with one hand. I huffed. Why oh why could I not have been born one month later? The Lord seemed as if it would be a nice sign to have. Safe. True, all the Lord-born I knew complained about being very sensitive to heat... but I was a dark elf, I was sure I'd manage. Besides, I'd be willing to take on even a sun allergy if it meant not having to listen to any more 'jokes' about 'dark elven promiscuity'... jokes, I should note, so lacking in anything resembling actual humour that even the tavern bards so bad their only pay comes in the form of airborne rotten vegetables would refuse to tell them out of professional integrity. In comparison to that, vampirism doesn't seem half so bad.
Ergalla ignored the guard's antics. "Interesting. Now, before I stamp these papers, make sure this is correct," he said to me.
I frowned – of course it was correct, I was the one who had written it in the first place – but scanned the paper anyway. I was about ready to get this "processing" over with, and judging by his expression, Ergalla was too. And it's a good thing I did; the fool had put my race down as Breton! Breton, I ask you. I don't want to know what low standards the Imperial Legion must have here; anyone who can't tell the difference between a Breton and a dark elf should not be in a position of importance.
He blinked at me owlishly when I pointed this out. "Ah, yes. But you are from High Rock?"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Didn't we have this discussion already?"
He took the hint, scribbled something on the paper and handed it back to me. I looked over it suspiciously – maybe he was claiming I was Argonian now or something; I wouldn't put it past him – but everything seemed to be in order.
"All right, is that it?" I said, about to slip the paper into my pocket.
"Wait – we need another copy for our records..."
Suicide was looking more and more appealing.
I slipped through the door and shut it behind me, letting out a deep breath. My mind was devising hellish tortures that would make hardened criminals quake with fear for the person who had invented bureaucracy, generously leaving some for the one who had come up with the triplicate form.
Luckily these particular bureaucrats seemed to have decided that I was harmless and didn't need a guard to go five steps from one office to the other (the guards on the ship could have learned much from them), which left me a bit of time to make my head stop spinning. I walked down the corridor, searching for a chair or a bench in order to get off my feet.
As soon as I looked into the next room, I forgot all about that.
The room was furnished simply, with a table, some rickety-looking chairs I didn't really want to test, a shelf and several baskets in a corner. However, what I was interested in was what was on said table and shelf. Namely the well-polished silverware and expensive-looking liquor – Cyrodiilic brandy, if I judged correctly. Quite practised in such things, I quickly tallied up my estimations of the values of each, adding on a bit as the brandy must have been imported. Then, sure I'd been mistaken, I tallied them up again.
The result was the same: enough money to eat for half a month. And that wasn't even counting the assortment of flasks on the shelf, and the small chest next to them and ye gods, was that a lockpick?
I clenched my fists. Was this some kind of game? A test or something? I grab the things here, they frisk me in the next room and voila, it's prison for you, little thief.
I turned away from the table and stalked towards the door. I hadn't got used to this 'freedom' deal yet (if Ergalla hadn't been lying, but I couldn't imagine it – he seemed stuffy, but not petty and malicious enough for a lie like that), no need to lose it before I'd even started. Better to be poor and free than rich and in prison – or rather, poor and in prison since it wasn't as if they'd let me keep my ill-gotten goods. So leaving everything behind was my best option... turning my back on not just a relatively lucrative but also totally unguarded haul.
I threw open the door and stopped short.
Far from another room with yet another Imperial officer, the door opened into a small, empty courtyard, with another building on one side of it and a tall wall on the other. A tall stone wall with plenty of hand- and footholds for the experienced climber.
In my mind, a plan began to form.
A few minutes later, I was back in the courtyard, now holding a bulging sack. The room behind me was completely bare, even the baskets at the side having been cleaned out. Spying a barrel near the door, I quickly rifled through it and added a greenish, slightly magical-feeling ring to my haul before turning my attention to the wall.
The wall was difficult to climb, especially with my heavy load, but not impossibly so; I silently thanked a childhood spent climbing trees when I reached the top and peered over.
The area just near the base of the wall was deserted, the ground overgrown with thick bushes. I quickly heaved the sack over the top. It disappeared behind a tree with a soft thump. I twisted around to see whether anyone had noticed, lost my balance and fell.
Lying on my back in the courtyard, I decided that a childhood spent climbing trees would probably have been better supplemented by an adulthood also spent climbing trees, or at least sometimes climbing trees. An adulthood spent climbing no trees at all seemed to have left me badly out of practice. I also wished I'd decided to keep the ring on me rather than add it to the sack; in retrospect, I was sure I'd felt healing magic on it and that sounded very good right now.
I got up, wincing, and dusted myself off gingerly. Luckily I seemed to have come away with only bruises.
I wandered out of the courtyard trying not to look innocent. This may sound somewhat counterintuitive, but Imperial guards expect you to look furtive and guilty. To them, an expression of carefree innocence implies that you're hiding something.
Thankfully, the officer in the next room – "Sellus Gravius", Ergalla had called him – seemed decidedly uninterested in my expression, guilty or otherwise. In fact, he didn't register me at all. Instead, he was bent over a pile of paperwork, and the sound of low swearing made me suspect that here was someone who shared my view on bureaucracy and the triplicate form.
It would have made me more charitably inclined towards him, except that he was – as said – an officer of the Imperial legion. I figured the torture was only just.
It was tempting to just leave him to it and slip out the next door, but I suspected that would get me into far more trouble in the long run. So I cleared my throat.
Then coughed.
Then said, "Excuse me."
When I was wondering whether I would have to go over and shake him – always a thing to think twice about with an armed man – he finally looked up and blinked at seeing me standing there.
"Oh, right. You'd be... you'd be... I'm sure I have a letter about you in here. Somewhere." He looked through his pile of documents for a moment, then seemed to give up. "Anyway. Why didn't you say something instead of just standing there?"
Given that I had said something, I thought this accusation was rather unfair, but kept this to myself. Imperial officers can get quite upset when contradicted. Instead, I told him, "Are you Sellus Gravius? If you are, I'm to give you these papers."
"Yes, that's me. Knight Errant of the Imperial Legion – not that that gets me much but paperwork these days." He took the forms I'd painstakingly filled out and glanced over them briefly. I probably could have left them claiming I was Argonian and he wouldn't have noticed. "Yes, this all seems to be in order. Now what was I supposed to do with you again... oh, right!" Apparently, Gravius had found the letter about me. Everyone seemed to have letters regarding me. It was disturbing.
He fished around on his desk and handed me a sealed package. "Take this package to Caius Cosades in Balmora. I don't know where he lives exactly but someone in Balmora should know, so ask around."
"Excuse me, but... Balmora?" I asked, confused.
"Oh, right, you're new. Balmora is a town up north from here, ask in the tradehouse for directions. Or you could take the silt strider. Quite reliable transport for a flea that's as big as a house."
So that hadn't been a hallucination after all. I wasn't sure whether to be happy that my wits weren't entirely addled or terrified that the giant flea did, after all, exist – and was apparently used as transport?
"Oh, and take this as well," Gravius continued, dropping a small pouch into my hands. The way it clinked was very, very familiar. "It's your release fee."
I stared. I seemed to be doing a lot of that today, but this definitely warranted it. Getting money from the Imperial Legion? And – I hefted the pouch – a not inconsiderable amount? From the weight, it was probably at least sixty drakes!
"Ah. T-thank you," I stumbled over the words, feeling completely off balance. It was enough to make a girl almost feel guilty about robbing the place.
Almost being the key word here.
"Yes, yes." Gravius had turned his attention back to his paperwork with a sigh. "I'm afraid I can't talk any longer, I really need to get back to this supply request. So if you'd excuse me..."
"Of course." I turned towards the door, then paused. Before, part two of my grand plan had seemed flawless and brilliant. Now, I wasn't so sure about it. But I ploughed ahead with it anyway.
"By the way... is the room back there supposed to be empty like that?"
Gravius' gaze snapped up. For the first time in the whole conversation, his entire attention was fixed on me. "What did you say?"
I shrank back. "The room. Back there. I thought it was odd that it was empty, and, and the chest on the shelf looked as if someone had broken into..." my voice trailed off as Gravius slowly stood up.
"No. That room is not supposed to be empty. That room is supposed to contain our food for the next several days, and the official Legion silverware, and the weekly... liquor... excuse me. I think I need to check on something." And he was gone.
I almost let out a sigh of relief – Gravius' full attention was a disturbing thing to have fixed upon you, and I was left with the distinct impression that this was a very dangerous man. However, dangerous or not he certainly wasn't telepathic, and what I'd done should muddy the waters a bit. I'd heard the guard with Ergalla mention that no one had been in the room since very early in the morning, so that left them with quite a large time frame in which the theft could have taken place. And I should be their last suspect now – after all, hadn't I reported the theft to the guards? And hadn't I left the place empty-handed save for what Gravius had given me?
I strolled out into the sunlight and had to suppress the urge to whistle.
Studying my sack of loot in the bushes, I no longer felt quite so cheerful.
It wasn't that it hadn't survived the fall, which I'd worried about earlier. In fact, the fall had done even less damage than I'd expected; only one flask had broken, and that one had been empty anyway. No, my plan had worked perfectly.
Unfortunately, I'd come to the conclusion that the plan had been slightly short-sighted.
I now had my ill-gotten goods, in a bush outside the Census and Excise office, and myself outside the Census and Excise office, and hopefully not fingered as potentially in possession of said ill-gotten goods. However, now came the question – what did I do with the goods?
It was, after all, broad daylight. There were quite a few people wandering around on the street. Worse yet, there were quite a few guards wandering around on the street. The bush was, thankfully, away from the main bit of traffic and shielded behind several trees, so no one had noticed the dark elf rooting through shrubbery.
Yet.
I couldn't very well grab the sack and walk straight through the village, either to the tradehouse on the other side or (since fencing stolen goods at the tradehouse next to the place I'd stolen them from in the first place wasn't the best of ideas) to the road leading out of the village.
Ordinarily, this turn of events would require waiting until dark and sneaking in to recover the items then. However, part two of my brilliant master plan, looking steadily less brilliant by the minute, meant that the guards would probably have finished figuring out that yes, someone had stolen their food, their silverware and (crime of all crimes!) all their alcohol for that week and would be out in force. Chances were, they'd discover the sack well before nightfall.
Really, my best option was high-tailing it away before Gravius added up a newly released dark elf, a sack placed precisely where someone might throw it from the top of a wall and the possibility of a childhood spent climbing trees and came up with the name Adryn.
Most of me rebelled at the idea. Hadn't I managed to get this far, after all? And besides, this was my first taste of freedom and a new life! It should start on a high note, with me leaving the town with everything and sticking out my tongue at Ergalla and Gravius as I went.
"Stealing from the Imperials, eh?"
The voice behind me made me try to jump a foot and freeze in terror simultaneously, which made for some rather odd movements. In the end, I lost my balance and barely managed to keep myself from pitching face-first into the bush.
Once I was steady on my feet again I turned around, horrified at having been caught. My fear was only lightened slightly when I saw the person behind me wasn't, in fact, an Imperial guard but rather a Bosmer.
"Don't worry. I won't say a word. We all hate them here in town." Slowly, my heart-rate returned to its normal speed. "Me especially, they keep beating me up and stealing my things. Just the other day, they took my ring! It's not worth that much, but it's a family heirloom, one of the only things I've got of them so far away from home, so it's really precious to me."
I fished around in the sack. "Would this be it?" I asked, cutting off the stream of words and handing him the green ring I'd found earlier. I was rewarded by seeing the Bosmer's eyes light up.
"Why, that's it exactly! Thank you so much!" He took the ring eagerly and pressed it to his chest.
Now, lest anyone get the wrong impression I should add that I am not, as a rule, all that altruistic. Especially when it comes to rings with healing magic, given my tendency to attract trouble through no fault of my own. However, I've learned that it pays to keep anyone who can call the guards on you as happy as possible.
"I was afraid I'd never see it again. I won't forget this! I'll put in a good word for you with Arrille at the tradehouse, just you see. And..." the Bosmer looked from me to the sack in the bushes and back again. Clearly, the predicament I was in was becoming clear to him. "I think I have an idea."
A few minutes later, I was strolling across the village to the tradehouse, Fargoth – that was the Bosmer's name – by my side. The sack was thrown carelessly over my shoulder, and Fargoth made sure to mention loudly how very grateful he was for my helping him carry some of his old things over to his good friend Arrille's, he couldn't have managed so much himself...
It would have seemed ridiculous that I, skinny little scarecrow of a dark elf – and we're not known for our upper body strength in the best of times – straight of prison would be engaged for heavy lifting. Luckily, Fargoth was a Bosmer. I'm small for a dark elf, but Fargoth was still a head shorter than me.
The tradehouse was well-furnished, with hangings on the walls and various wares spread out on polished wooden tables and a counter. Several people seemed to be browsing, and there was an Altmer standing behind the counter; I surmised this was Arrille. Fargoth had gone ahead of me when we reached the narrow stairs, and he was now whispering intensely with Arrille. When I arrived, they stopped. Arrille came over to me and winked.
"I hear you're helping Fargoth with his things," he said in a drawl that was definitely not a Summerset accent. "Always told him he was a packrat and that one day that shack of his wouldn't be large enough anymore! Good for him I have a storage room free here, hm? If you follow me there, I'll show you where to put them, and give you some advice on Vvardenfell while you're at it."
"Don't listen to a word he says," a Redguard woman who had been looking at a selection of bows interrupted. "Last time he 'gave some advice', the man actually tried to go rob one of the tombs in the swamp. He ended up getting lost, wandering around after dark trying to find his way back, and finally tripped and broke his leg. And I was the one who had to rescue him." She glared at Arrille.
"Elone, I'm insulted!" Arrille gave a mock gasp. I was suddenly reminded of Jiub, and wondered with a pang what had happened to him. It had looked as though I was the only miraculous releasee. "I'll let you know my advice was fine. It's not my fault the fool decided to interpret 'ancestral tombs' as 'excellent way to make money.' And what about that Redguard girl I helped out a while back? Last I heard she was doing perfectly well."
"Only because I caught her afterwards and explained why everything you'd told her was nonsense. It looks as though I'll have to do the same with this one too." Elone looked at me critically. I stared back, shifting my sack of loot. It was heavy and my arms were getting tired. I decided that if the two of them didn't stop acting as if I was a soulless, mindless automaton I'd brain them both with my illicit gains.
Perhaps she read some of my hostile intentions from my face, because she just sighed and said, "Well, off you go. Drop off... Fargoth's belongings." I had the sudden impression that our little charade hadn't fooled her at all. "Arrille, I'll watch the shop for you. Girl, remember to come speak to me afterwards and I'll set you straight. I'm a scout, it's my job."
"Thank you kindly, Elone. Come, it's-"
"Wait a minute!" Fargoth interrupted. He'd been hovering near the doorway and now stepped forward. "I'll come with you. There are fragile things in there, I have to make sure you don't break them."
A nearby Nord let out a loud, braying laugh. "Fussy Fargoth needs to make sure you put every bleedin' thing down just right. Kid, you picked the wrong person to run errands for - you'll be lucky if you get out before nightfall." He did not seem at all abashed by suddenly being the target of three hostile glares - Fargoth's, Arrille's and Elone's. "If you want a real job, with real pay, come to me afterwards. Name's Hrisskar Flatfoot, I'll be up in the bar."
"As if you're ever not in the bar, drunkard." Elone's tone was waspish. "Girl, don't listen to him, that one's no good through and through."
"Okay, that's it." I said loudly. All people arguing stopped and turned their heads to look at me. I found myself in awe at my apparent skills at crowd control - now if only I could do that on purpose... "My name is Adryn. Not girl, kid, child, or anything like that. Ad. Ryn. It's only two syllables, it's not that difficult. And my arms hurt and I am about to drop this sack and if I am forced to drop it I will use my last strength to aim at one of you lot, so could we save the manly posturing - or womanly posturing," I corrected myself, looking at Elone, "for another time?"
"Girl has spirit. I like that." Hrisskar snickered. I recalled my earlier conversation with Jiub and wondered just how hard I would have to punch him in order to break his nose - and not in a dashing storybook rogue way either.
Arrille coughed. "She does have a point, even if she phrased it a little... interestingly. We all have things we need to be getting back to, so best to get this out of the way. Here, the storage is up these stairs."
Stairs. I looked at them sadly, then promised my aching muscles it would be over soon, gritted my teeth and started walking.
At the top there was, in fact, a small storage room, empty and obviously unused for quite some time.
I let my sack fall to the ground with a sigh. Arrille, then Fargoth entered the room as I shook out my arms, which were informing me that they had got used to lazy lounging about in prison and did not hold with this sort of strenuous activity. Fargoth closed the door behind him carefully, then hopped up to sit on a large crate. I covered my nose when I saw the dust billow up, but he didn't seem to mind.
"There, that should do it," he said. "Now you two can bargain and no one will wonder what's taking so long. After all, Fussy Fargoth needs to have things just right." He grinned wryly.
"Doesn't it bother you?" I asked him.
"Oh, Hrisskar is just a big bully. And besides, I do get a little particular about how I want things. But just a little!" he added hastily. Next to him, Arrille started coughing loudly.
"Dear me, Arrille, that sounds like a nasty cold you're coming down with," I said. "Are you sure you're feeling quite well enough to bargain?"
"Oh, don't worry about me. The dust, is all. Should tidy this room more often. Now," he straightened, his demeanour growing serious, "Fargoth tells me you have items you'd like to sell. Items acquired from a nearby Imperial outpost under, shall we say, a loose interpretation of the law." I nodded, wincing. Two people already who knew of my criminal enterprises, this did not bode well for my future career. "Now although I usually don't look well on such activities, I could make an exception for a clearly good-hearted young lass who's been helping my good friend Fargoth, and one who's been a nuisance to the Imperials up at the Census office instead of any of us townsfolk."
By Arrille's scowl, Fargoth hadn't been exaggerating much when he'd said everyone in town hated the local Imperials. I was beginning to think I could run through the town stark naked at noon and paint 'URIEL SEPTIM IS THE BASTARD SON OF A MONKEY AND A SLOAD WHO COMMITS UNSPEAKABLE ACTS WITH SHEEP' on the walls and none of the citizens would report me.
...not that I was planning on doing this, understand. I mean, I like wearing clothes. Clothes are my close, personal friends. And noon? Not a good time. And, you know, if you're going to go the graffiti route it's best to go all the way - none of that 'unspeakable acts' business.
"...so that should settle it." Oops. Arrille was still talking, and it sounded as if he'd just said something important.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that?"
"I said, I'll probably go to the Census and Excise Office sometime tomorrow, if they don't stop by before then," Arrille repeated patiently. "A Nord sold it to me, big, strong-looking fellow. Kept his hood up, but sounded rather like Hrisskar Flat-foot to me. Wouldn't be the first time he's pulled something like this, and I happen to know he was skulking around town today - probably trying to find Fargoth's stash again."
"Stash?" I asked.
"He seems to think I've got some kind of treasure chest hidden away in the swamp somewhere," Fargoth shrugged. "Honestly, as if I have any valuables left to my name in between Flat-foot and the other soldiers. You saw what happened to my ring." I saw Arrille shoot him a sharp look from the corner of my eye, and suspected this might not be quite accurate. Not that I could particularly blame him; after all, I'd only known him for an hour, if that, and he knew I was a thief. "It does mean he'll probably be trying to poke his nose in here, trying to figure out just what 'belongings' you brought over."
"All the better," Arrille said firmly. "It'll make him look more suspicious. With luck, this will get him out of our hair entirely. And if I take it to Sellus Gravius, he'll feel obliged to cover my losses and pay for the items. A good sort, that Gravius. Pity the others aren't like him. Besides," his tone grew thoughtful, "if this does let us get rid of that Flat-foot we'll most certainly owe you something..."
I shook my head. "All right, I'm confused. What exactly does all this mean?"
"It means, young la- Adryn," he amended at my frosty look, "that I hear you have some goods you wish to sell me."
A classical way to open bargaining. I grinned. "As it so happens, I have... acquired... some items." I started taking things out of the sack. "For instance, this fine set of silverware."
Arrille looked distinctly unimpressed. "Fine? Rather an exaggeration, don't you think? But who knows, maybe someone will be near-sighted enough to believe these don't belong in the nearest junkheap... I'll give you seventy drakes for them."
Did I really look that green?
"Seventy? I'm insulted, truly insulted! Look at this craftsmanship, this polish – and feel how smooth it is, not a dent or a scratch. Seventy, I say! A septim and twenty and no less!"
"One septim and twenty? One hundred and twenty drakes for that measly piece of tin? No dents, I'll give you that, but only because they've all been hammered out. But craftsmanship? Hardly! Eighty drakes and no more!"
And we were off. Bargaining, when you do it right, is as much sport as anything else. Fargoth certainly seemed to think so, at any rate - he listened to us with wide eyes and a delighted grin on his face. When one of us pulled off a particularly clever maneuver, he would break into brief applause.
"Whose side are you on?" Arrille asked him in mock outrage after Fargoth congratulated me on managing to talk him up to a round septim for the silverware.
"I am a neutral observer. I am on no one's side," Fargoth said with an attempt at an air of dignity, one which would have worked better if his feet hadn't been dangling. It all reminded me of watching the traders on market day when I was a little girl...
Well, to make a long story short, after a while we settled on three and a half septims for all my illicitly gotten goods. Arrille looked as if he were rather regretting this agreement, so I decided to cheer him up with some purchases.
Arrille frowned when I suggested going downstairs for the next stage of our bargaining. "That could be a mite difficult... did you even have any money apart from what you st- acquired at the Census office?"
I wasn't sure where this was heading, but my usual reflex when I was asked things like this was to lie, lie and lie some more. Still, I did owe Fargoth and Arrille. "Actually, Sellus Gravius gave me ninety drakes-" I clamped my mouth shut, horrified at myself. Telling them I had money, all right, but why tell them where I'd got it from? Now there'd be questions-
"Oh. You're one of those." Arrille's eyes narrowed, and Fargoth stared at me.
"Those?"
"It started, oh, two or three months ago. Every few weeks, the Imperials release a prisoner from the mainland here. Far as we can tell, they're usually in for minor, or at least not violent, crimes - theft, that sort of thing." I blushed - that example had not been chosen randomly, I knew. "They get given a bit of money, then sent up to Balmora." I flinched. Arrille nodded, looking satisfied. "You too, I take it?"
I nodded, deep in thought.
To be entirely truthful, my first reaction was relief. Now, most people's first reaction to being told they are embroiled in what sounded like some sort of byzantine Imperial scheme where poor innocent... mostly innocent... not that guilty people are moved around like, like one of those stones for the board games people play in the High Rock markets which I never had the patience to sit down and learn - well, anyway, their reaction would not be relief, not if they had any sense. And although the sense thing can be argued on my part, mine usually would not be either.
No, the reason I was relieved was that if I was one of a group, it was highly unlikely the Emperor was, in fact, personally interested in me.
After all, even if the Emperor himself was at the heart of said byzantine Imperial scheme he surely put unimportant work like selecting suitable pawns in the hands of subordinates. Right?
Right?
The Nine save me, I was doomed.
"So," Fargoth said. He'd hopped off the crate to stand next to Arrille. I inched back a bit upon seeing the united front. "I take it you don't care to tell us what's going on?"
All right. That was just too much.
I exploded. "Going on? What in the name of Ysgramor and his Five Hundred makes you think I have any idea what's going on? I woke up this morning on a ship hundreds of miles away from where I went to sleep with no idea how I'd got there or why, nobody's told me anything except 'go here, do that, fill out these forms.' I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm confused, I have no idea what I'm doing here, I've never even set foot on Morrowind before and you ask me what's going on? You, you inbred excuses for cowardly dogs who'd give Alduin indigestion-"
"All right, all right, all right!" Fargoth interrupted me before I could properly get going. "We understand. You don't know what's going on. Er, please calm down. I don't think you're supposed to be able to turn that colour."
...skin bubbling its hue changing it has already begun-
"Or that one, for that matter. Sit down, you've gone all... light grey."
I sat on the proffered crate and tried thinking of... plants. Beautiful, beautiful plants. Flowers. Ferns. Black trees in a volcanic wasteland while- no. "Thank you. Um. What were we talking about?"
There was a moment's collective silence.
"...well," Arrille said, "the issue is that we need to make sure you're not seen buying things with more money than you're meant to have. That sort of thing could lead to inconvenient questions, if you get my meaning. I'll sell you what I can, but best for you to get to Balmora and do your shopping there."
I was beginning to wish I could kidnap Arrille and take him with me. He thought of these things called 'consequences'. I'd always had a little trouble with those.
Downstairs, both Elone and Flat-Foot were gone. Instead, there was a dark elven girl, maybe eight years old, sitting on Arrille's counter. I looked at her curiously. She was the first other dark elf I'd seen since disembarking, which was rather surprising given that this was meant to be their, our, homeland. She was wearing rough clothing so covered in patches of various colours I could hardly tell what its original shade had been and holding a short wooden sword firmly in one hand. Red eyes peered back at me behind messy black hair that had apparently escaped from a rather bedraggled ponytail.
"Are you going to do something evil?" she asked me solemnly.
My mouth opened and shut wordlessly. Maybe it was because it had been a long and confusing day, maybe because I wasn't often accused of being evil by people half my height, but I found myself speechless.
Luckily, Arrille came to the rescue. "Good day, Llavani. I assure you Adryn is not evil. Does Indrele know you're here?"
"Mother is busy. And Miss Elone said she'd give me two whole copper pieces if I stayed and protected your things from evildoers, Uncle Arrille!" Llavani swung her sword, I presumed at an imaginary foe. Arrille ducked. "I dunno what evildoers look like, though, so to be safe I've just been asking everyone. Did I do good?"
Arrille reached over and ruffled her hair. "You did wonderfully, scrib. Why don't you run over to Elone now and tell her your guard duties are no longer needed, and that I'd like to talk to her when she has time."
"And," I threw in, "tell her I happen to know that in Imperial City little girls get three drakes for guard duty."
She grinned at me. "You're all right, sera." Then she vanished out the door.
"Who was that?" I asked.
"Llavani Rathryon. She's the daughter of one of the commoners around here. Very conscientious lass, but... I'll have to ask Elone just what she was thinking." Arrille shook his head. "Anyway. I think you had some items you wanted to buy?"
"Which is my cue to disappear, I think," Fargoth threw in. "I still have some work to do at home, after all. Arrille, I'll see you tonight. It was nice to meet you, Adryn, and thank you for all your... help. I'm sure you'll do excellently here." He winked at me.
I bade Fargoth farewell and looked around the shop. Honestly, I had to wonder whether there was actually anything there I'd be interested in. I saw a lot of weapons - and not even daggers or anything sensible or easy to use like that, but giant warhammers and blades almost as long as I was tall. I saw heavy metal torture devices, I mean armour, polished so brightly they were almost painful to look at. (As if the possibility of blindness would give me incentive to strap myself into a heat-absorbing death trap heavier than I am.) The only thing that looked remotely useful was a stack of rough woolen clothing in the corner - it looked as if some of it ought to fit reasonably well, and I wasn't in much of a position to be very snobby about clothing. (An understatement. I'd definitely ended up with the 'sack with more holes' of Jiub's explanation of prison garment options.) But apart from that...
Wait. Was that up in the corner of that shelf...
"That's Eldafire's old mortar and pestle, and her vial set," Arrille said, following my line of sight. "Sold it to me a few months back, said her eyesight was getting too bad to keep making potions but it was an excellent set which had served her well all the time she had it. Do you want me to-" he noticed my hungry gaze and amended himself, "I'll just get that down for you, shall I."
Honestly, and despite Arrille now trying to talk it up as the finest alchemical tool which had ever graced Tamriel, it didn't look like much. The mortar was too small to make larger or more complicated potions, battered, some of the surface already worn smooth from repeated use, the vials were milky with age - a far cry from the equipment you see master alchemists or even journeymen use. So it may be difficult to understand exactly why my fingers twitched at the sight.
At least, difficult to understand unless you have ever had the experience of trying to grind wolfsbane petals for an invisibility potion using two smooth rocks because you have nothing else to hand. In the middle of a rainstorm. While the guards the invisibility potion is meant to help you escape from are coming steadily closer. On the other hand, if you have had this experience I believe you will agree (albeit possibly from prison) when I say you never quite view alchemical equipment the same way again.
"So I'd sell it to you for eighty drakes,"Arrille said, finishing up his spiel.
Of course, none of that is reason to act like a fool. Which spending eighty drakes (almost all of the money I was supposed to have at my disposal!) on that would certainly be.
"Eighty? Eighty? You must be joking. You say it's served her well for years - I can certainly see the years part of it! Honestly," I sniffed, "I'm doing you a favour, offering to take this off your hands when you were probably planning to toss it out with the rubbish at the next opportunity since no respectable alchemist would go near it. Half a septim and no more."
"You exaggerate mercilessly - it might be old, but it's still perfectly functionable. How about... one septim, and I'll teach you a Firebite spell as well." That was actually quite a tempting offer. I didn't know one myself, but I knew fire spells could be very useful in a pinch - lighting fires even without flint and tinder, as an emergency replacement for properly cooking, and even for defense. Although to be entirely truthful, I wasn't planning to use it for the last; the first item in my arsenal when it comes to combat is neither spell nor weapon but my legs. Running away at the first sight of trouble has served me well for quite a while now and I wasn't planning on changing that (I personally blame this attitude on an excess of sanity, although some people would dispute that.)
"Ninety drakes for both, and you add in a shirt and a pair of trousers from that stack there," was my counter-offer.
"Done and done." Arrille smiled, satisfied, as I handed over every last drake that Gravius had given me. Usually I'd be a bit more careful about my money, but the weight of my illicitly acquired three hundred fifty more hidden inside my shirt reassured me that I still had enough to be reasonably secure. "Now, the way you construct a Firebite spell is like this..."
It was quite a bit easier to pick up than I was expecting, even though I had relatively little experience with Destruction magic. Arrille shrugged and muttered "Dunmer" when I managed to successfully light a candle on his table on the second try.
I'd just managed to pick a shirt and trousers that looked to fit at least no worse than what I was already wearing (and silently vowed that at the next opportunity, I'd squander some of my hard-earned money on a tailor) when the door creaked open.
"Elone!" Arrille barked. I looked at him in surprise; this was the angriest I'd heard him so far. "Since when does 'I'll keep an eye on things' mean you wander off and leave a little girl to look after things? Llavani's not a lass that goes running off, no, but she's no guard."
Elone raised an eyebrow. "Calm down, will you? I'm sorry for leaving the store unattended - I wouldn't have, but something urgent came up which I had to look into right away. I figured Llavani would look after things for you."
"Look after? The girl is eight."
"Eight and probably more careful about who she lets in than I'd be." I remembered being asked whether I was evil and had to choke back a giggle. Elone continued, "It's not as if you get a lot of thieves here, and if something happened Llavani'd raise enough of a fuss that you'd hear it even from upstairs. And nothing happened, did it?"
Arrille seemed to be calming down despite himself. "Still, Elone, whatever your 'urgent business' was, and no doubt you'll be telling me it's yet another secret of yours..."
"No secret this." Elone's voice was grim. "Processus has gone missing. No one's seen him since yesterday evening and I couldn't find him anywhere in town. Some people are searching the surrounding area, I'll join them in a bit. But first..." her gaze fell on me. I crossed my arms in instinctive defensive reaction. (It was a 'what am I going to do with you?' look. I don't like those looks; as previously mentioned I am not a game piece and the only one who ought to be doing anything with me is me, thank you very much.)
"Processus gone missing? Don't tell me..." Arrille trailed off, brow furrowed in thought, then noticed where Elone was looking. "Oh, I just finished selling Adryn here some items."
"Not, I note, any weapons or armour," Elone said drily. I stared at her in confusion; I thought the general idea was to make me more, not less, likely to survive.
Arrille shrugged. "Lass didn't seem to want any. Doesn't seem to be a warrior type if you look at her, now does she?" They looked at me. I glared back. "I did talk her into a Firebite spell, though, and was about to have a word with her regarding weaponry."
"Of course you will. After lunch."
"What?" Arrille asked.
An arm snaked its way around my shoulders. I tried to jerk away, but it was holding me too tightly. "Lunch. Arrille, you should be ashamed of yourself. While you've been making the girl pay for your cast-offs and telling her all sorts of nonsense, she's faint with hunger." Elone's voice was coming from right next to my ear. I moved my head as far to the other side as I could.
"My name. Is not. Girl," I muttered between clenched teeth.
"I'll take her outside for some fresh air, get some food into her and try to tell her how things really are."
"And you can stop ignoring me anytime, yes. Oh, and let me go. That too."
Elone ignored me. "I've got food at my place. Come on, let's go."
Now, lest anyone get the wrong impression I should note that ordinarily I defend my personal space with all the force and dedication of a rabid war dog. (Some people would tell you that there are other similarities. This is, of course, a barefaced lie.) Anyone trying to so much as tap my shoulder generally ends up with their fist in my face or, failing that, my teeth in their hand. Someone actually putting their arm around me without me doing my best to remove the offending appendage... remove it from their body, that was... was next to unheard of. However, in this case there was an overriding impulse, one of the few things that would make me put up with such manhandling with only grumbling.
Free food.
More to the point, free food that was hopefully not gruel or at least not mobile gruel after far, far, far too long being forced to subsist on that... that... substance. At the moment, I was willing to swear my soul to the Emperor for something that could actually be classified as food without being academically dishonest. Tolerating someone being overly familiar, as long as their hands didn't venture any further down than my shoulders, went only slightly more against my basic nature.
As a result, I only put up a token struggle as I was dragged out of the tradehouse.
Elone's house turned out to be one of the nice-looking thatched houses clustered to the north of the tradehouse. I was glad of it, as most of the other "buildings" in this place - I use the term loosely - looked as though the instant you set foot in them they would collapse on top of you and drown you in the swamp. (Traps set for newcomers, perhaps?) Inside, it was also furnished much as I expected from a Cyrodiilic home. I'd have spent more time studying the surroundings except that my attention got diverted by a truly amazing gift of the gods exuding a heavenly smell-
Food.
I'm sorry, where was I?
"It's not much, just warmed-up crab chowder from this morning, but I can't afford to spend much more time here and you don't look as if you want to wait much longer," Elone said as she put a steaming bowl of soup and a chunk of bread in front of me.
"Mmfgrmp," I answered. It was meant to be 'thank you', but somehow my mouth had filled itself with soup without my even noticing. Strange how that happens.
Thankfully, Elone didn't take offense at my lack of manners; instead she just grinned and dug into her own portion.
Despite the fact that I ended up taking thirds, Elone and I finished at the same time - her with a somewhat amazed expression on her face. I didn't see what the issue was; time in an Imperial prison teaches you quickly that anything resembling food is to be devoured as quickly as possible before anyone takes it away from you. Or it runs away. (I remembered that gruel.)
"Well, you certainly needed that," Elone said, looking at me critically.
"Thank you very much," I said, comprehensibly this time. "It was delicious." Although honestly, what I was comparing it to was a very, very low bar - I'd almost have called Legionnaire hardtack delicious at that point - but I figured it was more diplomatic not to point that out.
"Almalexia's mercy, she does have manners after all!" I scowled and was about to snap a retort (probably proving her point), but Elone continued with something that made my blood run cold. "Pity she has next to no sense to accompany those, given what I saw from the lighthouse earlier today."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said woodenly.
"Oh? How strange. Then it must have been some other newly-released prisoner who stole everything that wasn't nailed down in the Legion's supply room and tossed it over the wall! Don't worry, I won't tell," she continued, correctly interpreting my expression as 'terrified'. "But you do realise the main reason you got away with it is Fargoth opting to help you? By all rights, you ought to be back in prison right now."
"It may have been slightly short-sighted-" I started.
Elone laughed. I glared at her. "Slightly short-sighted? Girl," seriously, two syllables, what is so difficult about this, "that was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. Now, I can't say the other ones were particularly clever, but at least none of them decided to start their criminal activities when they hadn't even been officially released yet!"
"Look," I retorted, "I fail to see what business it is of yours anyway, but in any case what's done is done so if you're not going to turn me in-"
"What's done is done, yes." Elone didn't seem inclined to let me finish a single sentence. "Except that I can't help but think that now, after you've successfully robbed the Census and Excise office - thanks more to luck than anything else, I should note - you'll decide to continue on in this manner. And next time, or the time after, or the time after, your luck will fail you and you'll end up in prison again. Which would be a right shame, if you ask me."
My shoulders slumped. Elone was right; by all rights my stunt earlier should have landed me straight back in prison. I'd been overconfident and hadn't thought about consequences, yes, but the main problem was that I simply wasn't used to working on my own. I'd always had someone else to go through plans with, be a look-out, cause distractions, bail me out of trouble when worst came to worst - at this rate I'd end up arrested or killed soon simply because I was relying on back-up that wasn't here. But... "It's not as if I can do anything else." I hadn't actually been planning on sharing, but the words just spilled out of me. "Not like anyone'd hire me for a proper job, and I have to eat somehow."
Elone's expression softened. "Of course. For a moment there, I forgot you weren't from Morrowind. Most of the people on that ship looked to be from Cyrodiil... but no. Skyrim, by your accent. Windhelm, would be my guess?"
I nodded reluctantly. "Lived there since I was twelve. Just moved to Imperial City recently before... all this happened." Maybe I'd developed mind-control powers in the last five minutes so that the please stop asking about this I was currently thinking at her would induce her to change the subject. Hope sprang eternal.
"Well, no wonder then," Elone said decidedly. "You've got pretty limited career choices in a city where going outside the gates is a near death sentence close to nine months of the year. And Imperial City's no better for all that the climate isn't so extreme. But," she fixed me with a stare, "you've got to remember that you're not in either of those places anymore. You're on Vvardenfell. It was a Temple preserve up until recently, you know?" I didn't - in fact I didn't even know what that meant - but Elone didn't seem inclined to let me get a word in between. "So most of it's still unsettled and a lot of the settlements that do exist are new. Vvardenfell is wild, untamed, dangerous, and in a place like that there's a lot of ways a bright, resourceful girl like you can make a living without resorting to crime."
"Like?" I couldn't help but be dubious, as this did not correspond with my previous experience in the slightest.
"Well, you could follow in my footsteps and become a scout." Elone grinned. "Honestly, I might find myself resorting to crime in Windhelm myself - not much call for scouting if you can barely get outside without braving frostbite. Or if you're not so much for the wilderness, there's a lot of organisations and guilds recruiting these days, and they usually offer room, board, and a lot of ways to make money. If you're more of the adventuring sort, I know quite a few people who make a tidy sum of money by hunting smugglers and bandits - although by the look of you I'd guess that's not quite your thing." However could she have guessed? I mean, I'm sure I cut the precise image of an imposing warrior. They'll ask for my portrait to put next to 'adventurer' in the Imperial Dictionary any day now, I'm just waiting for the letter.
Elone continued, "If you can cast a water-breathing spell or get an item enchanted there's pearl-diving, although you need to be wary of the slaughterfish. Or you can gather ingredients in the wild and sell them to apothecaries or merchants, or make potions from them to sell yourself- aha, that caught your interest." She'd noticed my eyes light up. "Should have guessed when I saw you spend most your money on a mortar and pestle. Alchemy's an excellent way to make money here. There's enough call for potions that most merchants will buy home-made potions, and it's easy to get ingredients just by stepping outside and plucking flowers. Most everything growing out there, and some of the things walking, have some alchemical use. Who knows, you might even manage to open a shop if you play your cards right."
Alchemical ingredients just growing outside for anyone to pick up? Which you didn't have to dig out from under several inches of ice? Or have to beat the other dozen poor people with alchemical pretensions to? I hadn't seen anything like it since I was a child. If Elone was right and ingredients were readily at hand and it was easy to sell homemade potions, I might be able to eke out an honest living that way... and getting away from a life of crime had more advantages than she knew.
At that point, Imperial guards couldn't have stopped me from going outside to test this myself.
"Wait!" Elone might succeed, though. "Are you planning to go unarmed and unarmoured?"
I stared down at myself (still clad in dreadful prison clothes and conspicuously devoid of anything resembling armour), at my hands (empty), then back at Elone, raising an eyebrow. Honestly, did I look as though I had anything like that on me? Perhaps she thought I'd mastered the art of storing items in some sort of dimensional pockets, a feat I'd read about in books. If so, I was going to have to reconsider all the advice she'd given me; I prefer to take my guidance from people with at least some resemblance of sense.
"Don't be cheeky," Elone said, fixing me with a look. "And I wasn't joking when I said this land was dangerous, you know. You're not safe even close to town, and going outside without any way to defend yourself is just asking for trouble. In fact..."she sighed heavily, then stood up. "I have an old iron short-sword I was planning to sell to Arrille one of these days. Giving it to you is probably a good investment."
"But... Elone, I don't know how to use a sword," I pointed out.
"Which end would you stick into whatever's trying to kill you?" she called back from where she was rummaging through a chest.
Was this a trick question. "The... pointy one?"
"Wonderful! See, you already know how to use a sword better than some Imperial Legion recruits." Seeing the quality of their officers, I honestly wasn't all that surprised. "And 'the sharp bit goes into the enemy' is just about the most important thing to know when you're looking at a charging nix-hound or alit. Here, how's this?"
She pressed a sword into my arms, which sagged immediately. I pondered who on earth had come up with the idea of calling this thing a 'short-sword', as I had no idea what was meant to be so short about it. I could barely lift the thing.
"Well," Elone said, "I'm sure you'll get used to the weight in time."
I wasn't convinced. "Look, Elone... I owe you a lot, for the food, for the advice, for... er... keeping quiet about certain things which the Imperial authorities really don't need to know." I gave her my best smile. "But honestly, I'm no good with weapons. I'd probably stab myself by accident instead. And I know a Destruction spell now," I held my hand up and let flames play around it. "That'll probably be more useful in a pinch than a weapon I can barely lift. So thank you, but..."
Elone's brow furrowed. "I take your meaning, but... how about this. I'll probably be here for another half an hour, gathering up some things before I go back out to search for Processus. If, during that time, you redecide, just come back here and I'll give the sword to you."
I smiled at Elone. "I'll do that. And honestly, thank you for everything. I don't know why you're spending so much time on me..."
"Let's just say I have a suspicion you might just become a productive citizen if you don't get yourself killed first. Now, off you get." She smirked. "See you in five minutes."
It took ten.
Elone was kind enough not to say "I told you so" out loud when I knocked on her door, but her face more than made up for that courtesy. My face burned. I truly hate to admit being wrong, but... they had rats.
I can already imagine the cat-calls – "Oh, don't tell me you're scared of rats." Well, ordinarily I'm not. But I'm not talking about your average household rat here. I am talking about giant rats. Monster rats. Rats like you've never seen them before. The thing came up past my knees! Its fangs were several inches long! Destruction spells aren't much use if by the time you're close enough to use them you'd have already lost that hand to a monstrous beast cleverly disguised as a rodent. I'm lucky it couldn't climb trees, or else I might not be here today.
I decided I'd stay close to Seyda Neen for the time being. Just in case.
Several hours and an interminable amount of mud, insects, and insect bites later, I'd managed to avoid any further encounters with the Evil Rats of Doom (as I'd dubbed them) but had run into several crabs of similar size - I suspected they were the source of the soup I'd had for lunch. Luckily, they were slow enough that even with a really-not-short-sword at my side I could easily get a good distance away and wait for them to calm down. I was wondering again if taking that had really been such a good idea - after all, "the pointy end goes in the enemy" is all well and good but hard to manage if you can't even hold the point steady. I supposed that I could always use it as bandit-repellent; I'd be much less likely to be attacked if they erronously believed I could lift a sword without being a danger to myself.
At any rate – what was wrong with this country? Rats and crabs are supposed to be around the length of my forearm, tops. Maybe it was something in the water? A kind of magical algae, perhaps, that made all the creatures grow to monstrous sizes? But then again, wouldn't the people be just as big? A mystery indeed.
Crabs weren't the only thing I'd encountered, as it seemed Elone had been telling the truth about more than just the wildlife. I'd found no less than four types of mushroom, one type of fern and one type of flower in the swamps near the town. I didn't recognise any of them and none looked even remotely edible, two downright poisonous. However, some experimenting proved that the glowing purplish mushrooms combined with the buds of the flower, ground to a powder and mixed with water, created a bitter substance that enabled one to walk on water for short periods of time.
I didn't feel like testing just how short; I'd seen some fish in the water and they looked just as overgrown as every other creature on this island. And hungry. Very hungry. And let's not forget their big sharp teeth, shall we?
Returning to Seyda Neen, I noticed a door in a rock nearby and an inscription engraved above it. Nearing it, I could make out that the letters read "Addamasartus" - the name of a cave, perhaps? More importantly, I could make out footprints in the marshy ground. Someone had been here, and not all that long ago.
I had no idea who might live in such a place. Maybe some more inhabitants of Seyda Neen who hadn't found housing in the town itself. Maybe caves passed for expensive housing here (I could almost believe it after the shacks I'd seen in Seyda Neen). But perhaps it was someone far more dangerous. I told myself I'd really done enough on impulse today and, despite curiosity, gave the cave a wide berth as I returned to Arrille's Tradehouse.
Arrille seemed happily surprised to see I was still alive, although the "happy" part didn't change his ruthless style a whit. It took some hard bargaining, but he gave me fifteen drakes apiece for my homemade potions, more than I was expecting; I suspected he'd agreed just to get me out of the place, as I was dripping swamp all over his floor. Not that I was going to complain. Furthermore, the flowers, called 'coda flowers', according to Arrille, were apparently quite valuable, as they had a levitating effect when chewed (I made a mental note: Substances that give levitation are valuable. Exploit this). Even after haggling myself a set of proper vials and a decent pack, my "legal" purse was once again heavy as I left the tradehouse.
I considered staying near Seyda Neen for a bit, learning about the area and earning a bit of gold through alchemy, but I really didn't plan to stick around until Arrille set his plan into motion. From what I'd seen of Hrisskar Flat-foot I suspected that if he found out who had set him up, I wouldn't get away with my head intact. Besides, although it was tempting to disappear into the wilds with the package bound for Balmora with me I knew it would be a very bad idea. Imperials tend to get cranky when their mail gets delayed or mislaid. No, the best thing to do would be to deliver the package without any further side trips and then make myself scarce. I was sure the recipient wouldn't keep me around; after all, I was hardly anyone special. Just your average thief trying to turn over a new leaf; there was really nothing more the Legion could want of me, was there?
I ignored the nagging doubts about this, which were whispering things like "Emperor's personal orders" and "shipped all the way to Morrowind" and, of course, "release fee", hardened my resolve and stepped onto the road headed for Balmora.
Gravius had mentioned a 'silt strider' travel service that could take you to Balmora. I didn't mean to use it – for one, although I had some spare money now, I wanted to make that last for a while; for another, I was distinctly unsure about how safe giant bugs were as travelling devices.
On the other hand, it was getting dark. And...
I heard a squeaking noise from further along the path, and red, beady eyes gleamed at me out of the darkness.
I took the silt strider.
It was actually much better than I was expecting. Some clever mer had hollowed out the shell on top of the beast and installed seats, meaning that passengers could ride in relative comfort, and it moved with a gentle swaying motion that was vaguely reminiscent of the ship I'd arrived in. Other people might find the gait nauseating, but my stomach remained quiet... at least, as long as I didn't look too closely at exactly how the beast was steered. There are things I never wanted to know about giant flea anatomy.
I was the only passenger but the silt strider operator, Darvame Hleran, was friendly and we whiled the time away chatting – she said she was glad for the company, as she usually transported Legion members newly off the ship from Cyrodiil to Fort Moonmoth in Balmora or, lately, Fort Buckmoth further north, near Gnisis. The moue of distaste she made speaking of the Legion made me like her quite a bit more.
Darvame also gave me what was undoubtedly the single most important piece of advice I received that day, and I'd received many.
I'd mentioned that I had never been to Morrowind before and could probably count the number of other dark elves I'd met on one hand. Surprisingly, a flash of anger crossed her features, then she sighed.
"Don't say dark elf. Say Dunmer," she told me.
I blinked, puzzled. "The old word?"
"The only word," she stressed. "Dark elf is an insult. Not quite as bad a one since you're Dunmer as well, but bad enough. And you're an outlander. No need to make people even more angry with you."
As said, the most important advice I received. Of course, Elone had been immeasurably helpful but all that wouldn't be worth anything if I accidentally gave mortal insult to a local as soon as I got into Balmora and got myself killed.
In retrospect, it should have been obvious – we say Altmer and Bosmer, so why not Dunmer? But I'd spent my life being called a dark elf, with capital letters if people wanted to be polite, it never even ocurred to me that this might qualify as an insult.
Even apart from the conversation, the ride was pleasant. We were up high enough that I had a lovely view of the surrounding countryside – swamps giving way to fields and hills, covered in flora that I was just itching to inspect, an Imperial outpost in the distance I'd make sure to avoid. Then, from one step to another, the green hillsides gave way to the grey, ashy wastes of the Foyada Mamaea, as Darvame called it.
Now, after my complaining about swamps, midges, armour, crabs, E.R.Ds, Imperial outposts and other such annoyances, one might believe I didn't like Vvardenfell, and that my first sight of the barren ashes that apparently covered much of this island would only reinforce that opinion. It was true that up till then I had been getting steadily less fond of Vvardenfell, and was seriously contemplating getting off it as soon as possible; even the fact that Morrowind was undoubtedly my ancestral home (unless anyone finds Dunmer in, say, Akavir) and that I might be able to make money from my alchemy hadn't managed to change my impression of the island. However, at my first sight of the Foyada Mamaea all that changed.
It turned out that I had left at exactly the right time. Usually, Darvame told me, the volcanic regions were an ugly grey, the monotony only broken by the occasional trama shrub, scathecraw or fireflower – none of them particular aesthetically pleasing either. Adding in the dangerous wildlife (remembering the E.R.Ds, I was tempted to ask "more dangerous than the wildlife in the swamps?" but thought better of it) it was hardly the most pleasant region of Vvardenfell. But all that changed for a brief time every day and when the silt-strider's footsteps stirred up the ashes of the Foyada Mamaea, the setting sun turned them into glittering diamond dust floating in the air.
The sight was breathtaking, the grey wastes turning gold in the sunlight. It only lasted a short while, but after it was over my eyes seemed to have changed. Rather than the drab ugliness Darvame had described, I saw austere beauty in the grey slopes, the ash whirling in the air, the few struggling plants-
Suddenly, neither this island nor the idea of spending a long time - possibly the rest of my life - here seemed as dreadful.
Even if I still thought someone should come up with an extermination program to deal with the rats.
We didn't spend long in the ash-wastes, as the Foyada Mamaea was apparently bordered by green lands on both sides (I wasn't quite sure of how this worked geographically and decided to try and find a map at some point). So the grey country quickly gave way to green fields again, although the air had a marshy tang more reminiscent of the swamp-lands I'd explored than the lands we'd travelled through. Nevertheless I saw it with new eyes, ignoring the midges and muck in favour of the lush greens, the blossoms, the smell of growing things overlaying the acrid sting of the swamp.
We reached Balmora just past sunset.
After bidding farewell to Darvame and getting off the silt strider, I stopped and stared for a while. Unlike the village of Seyda Neen, Balmora was a proper-sized town, and one built in what seemed to be the local style at that. Rather than the tall granite buildings with steeply slanted shingled roofs I was accustomed to from Windhelm or the wood and daub houses with thatched roofs I remembered from my childhood, the buildings here were made out of beige bricks that put me in mind of clay. They were oddly rounded, looking almost slightly organic, and with flat roofs easily accessible by stairs – a clever idea in the balmy climate. It was dark, but the city was well-lit by torches, lanterns, candles and mage-lights, by which I could see that the city was still alive despite the hour – people strolled down the streets or reclined on the roofs, chatting. Most of the shops still seemed to be open, their services announced by flapping banners with symbols and Daedric wordings. A similar banner stood at the gate of the town, saying simply "Balmora". I touched it as I went by.
There were a number of traders near the town gate, but I ignored them; time enough for all that tomorrow, after I'd dropped off the package. Instead, I accosted a Nord passerby for directions to the nearest inn.
She looked at me disdainfully and I winced, uncomfortably aware of the sight I must cut – rough, ill-fitting prison clothing, torn and stained with swamp-muck and ash, red, greasy hair in complete disarray, my face smudged with dirt, a worn iron sword awkwardly sheathed at my side...
"Try the Eight Plates, straight ahead past the Mages' Guild. Or better the South Wall Cornerclub on the other side of the river, they cater to your kind."
Although I was loath to spend more money than I needed to on accomodations – already I was richer than I'd been in a long time and found that I quite liked that state of affairs – the sniff that accompanied the comment of "your kind" decided me. I thanked the Nord politely and set off towards the Eight Plates. (Let no one say that I am not contrary to the point of absolute idiocy.)
The Eight Plates turned out to be an upper-class establishment on the far side of town; the looks its patrons gave me as I entered almost enough to make me forget my bravado and flee back outside again. In the end, it was sheer exhaustion that compelled me forward: I didn't think I'd be able to make it to the bridge, let alone the other side of the river, without collapsing.
The proprietess looked aghast as I approached her. "Now look here, this is a good establishment and we don't serve- ah." She quieted as I hefted my full purse and turned positively friendly once I slid her a few coins.
"My pardon," I murmured, trying to sound like a useless dimwit with more money than- I mean, a noble. "I have been travelling for some days now and seek accomodation for the night."
Either my attempt at an upper-class accent was not a complete failure or the promise of money had mellowed her more than I had hoped; not only did the woman agree to rent me one of her better rooms, but also offered to run me a bath and give me supper despite the late hour. Needless to say, I accepted gladly.
The bath was just the right temperature, deep, long enough to lie down in... in short, perfect after a long day of digging up mushrooms, running from E.R.D.s and dealing with bureaucrats (I think it is obvious which of those three was most exhausting). Too perfect, actually; after scrubbing myself repeatedly and lathering my hair, I dozed off and only woke up when I tried to breathe water. Bathing when tired is a perilous business, one best attempted with either cold water, iron self-control or a ring of water-breathing.
After a great deal of choking and spluttering, some sad looks at my change of clothes (although protected from the ravages of the journey in my pack, they were just as rough and ill-fitting as the others) and a vain attempt to tame my hair, I descended into the common room.
I was informed that supper was a soup of marshmerrow, saltrice and roobrush, followed with fried nix-hound meat and kwama eggs, and decided it was probably better not to ask what any of these things were. When the meal came, the only thing I recognised was the bread on the side – but it didn't matter anyway, as I was so focused on not falling asleep in my soup I didn't even register the taste. I finished quickly, as the noise from the other patrons was making my head hurt, bade goodnight to the landlady and stumbled up the stairs again.
My room was situated on the second floor, with a lovely view over the river, a night-stand and desk and – most importantly – a large, soft-looking bed. I let myself fall on that last and was out before my head even hit the pillow.
Chapter 2: Chapter Two
Summary:
Adryn spends a day in Balmora, during which she drops off Caius' package, joins an organisation and even makes a friend. One of these has consequences she was not expecting.
Chapter Text
I woke when it was barely dawn, and groaned when I tried to sit up. Every muscle in my body seemed to be screaming – and no wonder, I thought ruefully, when one considered yesterday's exertion in light of the time in prison. I was sore, bruised and terribly exhausted, and simply going back to sleep seemed very, very inviting.
Except, of course, for the dream.
Even so soon after waking my memory of it was confused and broken, but I remembered enough. It had been... not quite the same dream as yesterday. The voice was gone, for which I was deeply thankful. But the changes – those had been the same. No, not the same-
Stronger.
I shuddered, remembering the feel of my body shifting in ways it had never been meant to, the sound of bones creaking under the immense strain, the sight of grey-golden skin...
This time I ignored my muscles and forced myself up and out of bed. There was a mirror hanging on the opposite wall. It reflected a dark el- a Dunmer (thinking of myself that way would take some getting used to), thin from prison, with bleary red eyes and hair the same shade going every which way. In short, just as always, and I let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't that I'd been expecting to see... someone else... but the dream had seemed so real...
"That's enough of that," I told my reflection, and busied myself with trying to bring my hair into some kind of order. Given that I didn't have a brush or comb it was a futile endeavour, but it did get my mind off the odd recurrent nightmare.
When I was satisfied I'd done all I could, I sat back down on the bed. It was very early and I was still bone-tired, but sleep was out of the question. Perhaps I'd go down and see if anyone else was up yet. I decided to leave my pack in my room, but take my purse with me. I didn't want to look as if I were sneaking out without paying, but I didn't trust the security in this place enough to leave my money unguarded. (Frankly, if any thief wanted to take Elone's short-sword they were welcome to it. And I wouldn't grieve over-much for the Imperial package, either.)
To my surprise, the proprietress was not just up but was already making breakfast. She exclaimed when she saw me and bustled me to a chair. Thinking back to the mirror upstairs, I had to agree that I looked dreadful.
"Bad night," I told her weakly when she asked why I wasn't still in bed, I certainly looked as if I needed the rest, poor dear. (I wasn't quite sure how I'd made it from "poverty-stricken scum that shouldn't set foot in my guest-house" to "poor dear" in one night, but decided not to ask.)
"Dreams?" she asked, sounding unsurprised.
Off-balance, I nodded. "Well... yes. How did you guess?"
She clucked. "It's been going around. More and more people have been having strange dreams. The soul-sickness, they call it. Feldrelo Sadri, our main priest at the Temple, is at her wits' end – or so I hear."
"This is common?" I found myself startled. Of all the things I'd expected to hear, that hadn't been it. How could nightmares be 'going around'? 'Soul-sickness' indeed, it wasn't as if they were a common illness! Or contagious!
And besides, the dreams had seemed so oddly... special, personal, tailored to me and me only. Dozens of strangers having ones like it, the voice speaking to them just as it had to me, just felt... wrong. And wasn't that a nice bit of arrogance or more probably stupidity right there, given that I didn't want the dreams to begin with?
The other woman was talking. "Not common, precisely. But growing, growing. And what's worse, the people affected, some of them start acting... strange. Not themselves. Saying odd things. And sometimes, sometimes-" her voice was now barely above a whisper, "the ones it takes very badly, sometimes they just get up and walk away. And no one ever sees them again."
Something clattered outside. I jumped, the spell broken.
"I hope you'll excuse me if that doesn't exactly make me feel any better," I said weakly.
Her mouth opened in horror. I suspected she'd been so caught up in her tale that she forgot she wasn't telling ghost-stories to passersby, but rather speaking to someone who was having the dreams herself. "Oh no, dear! I'm sure you're perfectly safe. It never takes outlanders as badly as the natives. In fact," she grew thoughtful, "I think you're the first I've ever heard of..."
"Mm," I muttered noncommittally. I didn't bother to point out that if I was the first outlander she knew of who'd ever had this 'soul-sickness', she wouldn't very well know whether they had more or less problems than the natives. For all she knew, the reason no outlanders ever reported odd dreams was because they succumbed to... whatever it was... almost immediately.
All this was unimportant, of course, as I certainly wasn't going to succumb to anything. Especially not dreams! I mean, I decided a long time ago that when I die it had better involve the gates of Oblivion themselves opening or something else appropriately dramatic. Nightmares simply do not measure up.
Suddenly, a mug of steaming dark liquid was placed before my nose. "Drink this, dear," the woman said kindly. "It'll wake you up while I finish breakfast."
I blame the lack of sleep; I didn't study the drink at all, didn't note its precise colour or viscosity, didn't so much as sniff it before taking a sip. Me, who calls herself an alchemist. The shame will follow me to my dying day.
The liquid was very hot, and very bitter. I, of course, did not mind – regarding the first, it takes a lot more than hot tea to burn any Dunmer's tongue; as for the second, I am, as mentioned, an alchemist. You would not believe the things I have voluntarily ingested. 'Bitter' is harmless.
More to the point, I could already feel the liquid clearing up the fog in my mind. It was more a restorative than a stimulant, I judged, meaning that the effect would be lasting instead of sending me crashing down once it wore off.
"This is excellent," I said. "What's in it?"
The other woman didn't turn around from the hearth, but I could almost hear the smirk in her voice. "Secret recipe."
I, of course, took this as a challenge.
I took another sip and tried to sort through the flavour. Bitter, of course. But there was a subtle, smoky undertone. Hmm. Bitter with a smoky undertone, a restorative but not a stimulant, what kind of ingredient would produce that effect?
Then I realised that of all the growing things in this country, I could recognise all of five by taste. And two of them were poisonous mushrooms..
...Perhaps it would be better to answer this challenge at a later date.
"Food's done!"
On cue, my stomach gave a loud growl, and I decided to focus on more mundane things for the next while.
I lingered over the breakfast of kwama eggs – apparently a staple of Morrowind diet, although this time they were boiled rather than fried – and bread with scrib jelly, chatting with Dulnea Ralaal (as it turned out the publican was called.) She was able to tell me a lot of things about the city. Most of it was left as undigested lumps of information in my head – I simply didn't know enough about this land to know, for instance, what being "the main Hlaalu city in Vvardenfell, although none of the Councilors make their home here" entailed – but some of it was very helpful. I now knew, for instance, that there were both a Mages' and a Fighters' Guild in town, that outside of the guilds there were numerous traders and pawnbrokers, an armourer, a bookseller as well as an alchemist (my ears perked) and a clothier offering services on this side of the river. Apparently, the other side was the slums. Well, she didn't say "slums" but as her description was much longer and much less flattering, I try to summarise.
Unfortunately, she wasn't able to tell me where to find Caius Cosades. "But if I haven't heard of him," she said thoughtfully, "he can't live westside. You might try asking at the South Wall Cornerclub, I've heard that's where those people spend their time."
The South Wall Cornerclub – that was where that Nord had wanted to send me yesterday. I sighed inwardly; so much for stiff-necked pride. If I'd gone there yesterday, I might have found Cosades right away.
Dulnea wondered why I was looking for what was undoubtedly a "dull-witted layabout, too lazy to do an honest day's work. And probably addicted to some horrible substance on top of it all." I told her I was running an errand, delivering a package from Seyda Neen, although I did my best to make her believe this was more of an ordinary mail run. "He must be an Imperial by the name," I said, "maybe he has family back in Cyrodiil or something who want to stay in contact. I wouldn't have taken the job but, well, I've fallen on hard times recently..."
All true, of course, but rather misleading – I wanted to keep the full story for myself until I knew either exactly what was going on or that it had absolutely nothing to do with me (the latter, preferably). Luckily, Dulnea didn't seem to catch the deception.
Instead, she clucked over said hard times, how skinny I was, how it was terrible that someone such as me was running errands for a person like this Cosades and, of course, how I absolutely had to stop by her friend Millie and get better clothes as soon as I could. I nodded in the appropriate places and wondered again how I'd managed to rise in Dulnea's estimation. If I could only figure out why the change, I might be able to pick up a new trick for my Making People Not Hate Adryn arsenal. It needed all the help it could get, after all.
At that point, the first other overnight guests started making their way downstairs, yawning hugely. Dulnea quickly had her hands full and since I didn't want to make a bother of myself, I paid as soon as I could and made myself scarce.
By now, the city of Balmora was waking up. Some of the shops were already open, and I spied several people waiting impatiently beside ones that weren't. A group of children – mostly Dunmer, but I saw several from the human races as well as one Orc and one Khajiit – were playing tag in the street, occasionally tripping up a passing guard in the process. Their laughter mixed with the sound of clangs and thuds coming from the lower doorway of the Fighters' Guild; clearly someone was already training. The Mages' Guild, on the other hand, was entirely silent and the door was still closed. Apparently they liked to sleep in.
On the east side of the river, things looked very different. The buildings were smaller and more run-down and the streets dirtier - I had to pick my path carefully if I didn't want to step straight into something that I never wanted that close to my skin. The people wore simple, ragged clothes, and I could spot several who looked to be homeless. What I couldn't spot, however, were guards.
Now, this would be the part where some rich person would probably run away or act as if they were surrounded by hungry wolves. I, however, relaxed. This sort of area was more familiar to me and somewhere I fitted in much better than the nice clean guard-ridden streets with fancy shops and manor houses of the west side - and honestly, I'd take pickpockets and beggars over guards every day! After all - and this is something we all work to keep away from the rich - the easiest way to get through this sort of area without a fuss is to look as though you know what you're doing and not look as though you have anything worth stealing. With my rough clothes and purse tucked out of sight inside my shirt, I fulfilled both conditions beautifully. Guards, on the other hand, are a plague on Nirn.
So I made it to the South Wall Cornerclub unmolested, with most people not giving me a second glance. It was quite noticeable that near the South Wall, the people looked more... purposeful. It wasn't anything overt, they looked just as poor as any other person living this side of the river, but there was something about them and the way they moved, something familiar...
Warning bells were going off in my head, but I couldn't quite pin down what it was.
Inside the South Wall, it was surprisingly busy; there were a few people coming and going and I could hear a great deal of conversation and activity downstairs. I blinked in surprise. I'd actually expected that no one would be up yet and I'd have to come back later. This bustle was... odd. Odder was that apparently – judging by the snippets of conversation I caught here and there – most of the people here were just 'finishing up business' before heading home and to bed.
Very nocturnal business, apparently.
The warning bells were very loud now. In just a moment, I'd-
"'Scuse me, are you Guild?"
I stared at the Nord girl who'd spoken, mind whirling. Of course. Of course, it had been so obvious, all the signs had been there, how could I have been so unbelievably stupid.
Thieves' Guild!
Clearly, my mouth was smarter than my brain; even as the latter was busy with self-recrimination, the former was working at getting me out of this situation.
"Guild? But this isn't a guild, I mean the Mages' and Fighters' Guilds are on the other side of town." I affected an expression of honest confusion. "I'm not a member of anything, I'm just looking for a person – have a package to deliver-" I hefted my pack. Harmless errand-runner, that's me. "Someone told me I should ask here."
Apparently my act of ignorance had worked. "No, of course we're not a guild of anything, we just, uh, have special discounts for, um, Mages' Guild members sometimes! Um, who are you looking for?"
"Caius Cosades," I told her, heart rate finally slowing down. Clumsy fool, that girl. First she just asked like that. After all, there were signs. Codes. Ways to make delicate inquiries such as that one without immediately arousing the suspicion of any innocent passerby. And the way she tried to backtrack... well, the less said of that the better! Why, if I were her-
Don't go down that line of thought, Adryn. You know where it leads.
"Never heard of him. You could ask Bacola Closcius, he owns this place. He knows a lot of people."
I could ask him, yes. Of course, what I really wanted to do was start running now, never come near here again, and figure out something else (such as knocking on every door in Balmora, or throwing the damn package in the river and being done with it.) Unfortunately I couldn't think of a good excuse for leaving now, and appearing suspicious was a very bad idea. So asking him it was - and sending up a prayer to Stendarr that I wouldn't be noticed by anyone else. "That sounds like a good idea," I lied. "So where can I find him?"
"Oh, right." She blushed. "His office is upstairs."
I thanked her and made my way upstairs, trying not to look as if I was running. Apparently, some small measure of luck was with me after all; judging by where all the noise was coming from, Guild business seemed to be downstairs rather than upstairs. This made avoiding them easy and meant that Closcius was probably a front for the Guild rather than an active member or – Stendarr forbid – the Mastermind of this town.
I was in even more luck – Closcius was engrossed in what looked like an account book and didn't seem to be very interested in me. He reminded me of Sellus Gravius, in a way – elderly Imperial, probably very smart and very dangerous but with his mind someplace else. (I wasn't complaining about that last part.) He didn't even ask me why I was looking for Cosades, just absently gave me directions to the man's house and then ignored me entirely. I think he'd forgotten my existence before I even left the room.
I nodded to the Nord girl as I left the building, turned a corner and collapsed against the wall.
That had been close. That had been much too close, and I silently cursed Gravius for suggesting I "ask around" in town, and Dulnea for telling me to ask here of all places. And I hadn't got away with it yet – if the Nord girl told the Mastermind about the odd messenger who'd wandered in, if they were in contact with the Skyrim guilds... I hadn't given my name, but it wasn't as if I were particularly inconspicuous...
Then it hit me, and I almost laughed out loud.
I was inconspicuous. For once in my life, I blended in with the crowd perfectly. I was a Dunmer in a land full of Dunmer. The only thing about me that was even remotely unusual was my hair colour, a coppery orange-red, and even there I'd seen another person with the exact same shade on the street.
I was safe.
"Oi, this is my spot! You can't sleep here!" A foot prodded my side, none too gently.
...well, safe in a general sense.
I apologised to the surly-looking local, dodged a second kick and got out of there. I'd run this gauntlet; now it was time to find Cosades.
To my surprise, in her speculations about Cosades' habits and nature Dulnea had been right about one thing.
Judging by, oh, the empty vials with that suspicious smell rising from them and the set of full ones sitting on the shelf and let's not forget the pipe, no, how could we even think of forgetting the pipe- well, at any rate the Imperial was definitely a skooma addict.
In the rest, however, she'd been entirely wrong. Especially when it came to the "dull-witted" part, unfortunately. The instant I opened the door, I silently cursed fate for leading me to the third smart and dangerous Imperial in two days. Sadly, this one was not busy with something else. On the contrary, he seemed far too interested in me for comfort.
It was surprising, and very disturbing. Despite my doubts, I'd expected to be shooed off once I delivered my package. Instead, Cosades told me to stay right where I was and proceeded to intersperse studying the documents that had been inside with ever longer and more thoughtful looks at me. Finally, he'd just put the stack of paper down – he hadn't even finished reading it yet! - and proceeded to stare at me openly.
Now, if I were one of those big, hulking brainless lummoxes that seem to populate every tavern in this world (I'm sure there's a machine that turns them out somewhere, some Dwemer invention gone horribly, horribly wrong; I don't know how they'd reproduce otherwise) I would've reacted to that appraising look with... well, definitely badly. Glaring back and saying something like "what do you think you're looking at, skooma-head?" came to mind. I am, however, not big, not hulking, not brainless or a lummox – at least I like to think so – and definitely, definitely not suicidal. So instead, I shifted nervously from foot to foot, folded my arms over my breasts – it didn't seem like that kind of appraising look, but I'm paranoid – tried to look everywhere except at the man while still keeping a wary eye on him (which is just as physically impossible as it sounds like, for the record) and dearly wished for my daggers.
Not that I would have used them. I mentioned not being suicidal, right? But in a way, a pair of daggers in spring-loaded wrist-sheaves can be the well-trained adult's teddy bear replacement. Not particularly cuddly unless you buy the right sheath, and I wouldn't recommend sleeping with them, but there is a certain measure of comfort that comes from knowing you have two instruments of sharp and pointy death at your fingertips and no one knows. A shortsword just isn't the same, even without considering the fact that I was probably more of a danger to myself than to anyone else with the thing.
I realised I was babbling, albeit mentally, and forced myself to concentrate on the situation at hand.
Cosades was still studying me, brows furrowed. I really wondered why he was taking so long; it normally takes people all of half a second to jump to conclusions about me. Perhaps the extra time would show itself in even more spectacularly absurd judgements than usual? Considering the current record lay at accusing me of cannibalism (honestly, I am not a Bosmer – and even they only eat their dead!) I was intrigued to know what he'd come up with.
The Imperial was muttering something to himself. "...don't know who is in charge of picking these people, probably get sent a Sload next at this point..." I managed to catch. Then he sighed, loudly, and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Well, I suppose I have to make do with what I've got. Adryn, right?"
I nodded warily.
"Now, if anyone asks? I'm an amateur historian, and you delivered some rare books I'd had shipped in from Cyrodiil. A few volumes of the 2920 series, I think. As to why you're actually here..." Cosades smiled. It was entirely humourless. "Welcome to the Blades."
...wait.
What?
The cannibalism had easily been surpassed. Thinking I was in any way, shape or form suitable to be an Imperial spy definitely took the record for the most bizarre thing anyone had thought of me yet. The Imperial had to be on a skooma high. I started to back away slowly.
"Stay right there." The voice was like a whip, and it seemed to go straight to my legs – which locked up dutifully – without asking permission of my brain in between.
"I know what you're thinking," he continued, voice softer. "You're thinking, 'this man has lost his mind. Too much sugar.' Well, I may have something of a sugar problem – but I'm also the head of the Blades here on Vvardenfell."
I choked. It was insane, it was impossible, it was the delusions dreamed up between some man and his skooma pipe and I should get out of here and leave him to his madness.
But...
I'd seen some skooma-addicts in my time, and none of them had acted like Cosades. Skooma causes all sorts of issues, but not generally delusions. And that voice... it was, I slowly realised, the voice of a man long used to command, to being obeyed without question.
And, of course, if Cosades was mad – why had Gravius sent me to him?
"Right, so you're an Imperial spymaster," I told him. I'd meant for it to sound sarcastic, but somehow it didn't come out that way. "But what do you want with me?"
Cosades raised an eyebrow. "I just told you. You're to be inducted into the Blades, Emperor's own orders. Rank of Novice."
I sputtered. "But- wait- this is absolutely ridiculous! You're saying that you dragged me all the way to Morrowind, released me from prison, all so I could join the Emperor's own personal spy ring?"
"Yes."
I sputtered some more. Cosades waited patiently until I'd calmed down enough to manage a "but why me?"
"I'm afraid you're not high enough in rank to be told that yet. Need-to-know, you understand."
I was about to explain to Cosades at length that if anyone needed to know, it was me, but he held up a hand, his presence filled the room as if he'd suddenly doubled in size and my mouth snapped shut. (Disturbing trick, that. Much like a Command spell without the magic, and that was a thought that made the hair rise on the back of my neck.)
"Now, Novice Adryn..." he looked me over (really, hadn't he seen enough by now?) and his expression grew pained. Apparently, although I'd never realised this before, I had the ability to cause headaches on sight. I was sure it would come in handy.
"Normally," Cosades continued, "I'd now determine your level of experience-"
"But I don't want to be in the Blades!" I blurted out.
"What you want isn't the issue, Novice." I shivered; it seemed as if the temperature of the room had suddenly dropped to freezing. "The Emperor himself wants you to be in the Blades. It is not healthy to contradict the Emperor. Not for me, and especially not for you. Therefore, you are now a member of the Blades. Do you understand?"
I nodded, cowed.
"Now, as I was saying, I'd ordinarily judge your level of experience, strengths, weaknesses, areas to focus on. Probably suggest some guilds for you to join, trainers to seek out, consider whether you were ready to go on missions already or needed more time first. But as for you-"
I quirked an eyebrow.
"-Dibella's tits! I don't even know where to begin. You're like a feral cat." Breton, Bosmer and now Khajiit – was it really so hard to figure out that I was Dunmer? Red eyes, grey skin, one wouldn't think it was that difficult. I was waiting for someone to tell me I was an Orc now, just to finish things off. "Claws out and ready to attack the first person who tries to come near you." And really, that was an exaggeration. I didn't have my daggers anymore, after all. "Look, just take this money and come back when you're ready to deal with civilisation."
I blinked at the proferred pouch. By the bulge, I'd guess it was probably twice as much as what Gravius had given me. With this, I could make a good start here. But-
"I don't want it," I told him. Part of me was mentally kicking myself already; I was turning down money! Free money! Had I lost my mind?
Except, of course, that the money wasn't free. Just like with the money from Gravius, although there I hadn't seen it yet... there were strings attached, strings I had no intention of getting anywhere near. Taking that money meant accepting the position that was being forced on me, acquiescing to becoming a member of the Blades, bought and sold like a slave-
No, I had no intention of touching that money.
"Who said you had a choice?" Cosades snapped. "Take it. Get out of here. Talk to people. Start looking like a sentient being instead of a cornered animal. That's an order, Novice Adryn."
In some situations, intentions matter little.
I took the money and fled.
Outside, I found myself a quiet, abandoned corner and counted how much it was, twice.
Two hundred drakes. Two hundred drakes exactly. That was how much my life was worth.
I hugged my knees to my chest and cried.
Some time later, I stood in front of the Mages Guild.
Something Cosades – I shuddered at the name – had said stuck with me. Probably suggest some guilds for you to join...
I vaguely recalled Elone had said something similar – and it made perfect sense, of course. When I was young I wanted to join the Mages Guild, but... well... by the time I was old enough things weren't working out that way. Also, I'd heard the stories of the entrance requirements. Not just entrance requirements regarding magical skills, oh no, a decent background and money were far more important prerequisites. After all, never mind the magical skill, it would be absolutely appalling if a common or poor person got in!
But I was in Morrowind now, and even in the barely-a-day I'd been on the island I'd learned enough to doubt that the guild here was anything like the bloated organisation made up of emigrant Altmer and nobles' sons I'd encountered. Moreover, I was trying to make a fresh start. As I'd told the bureaucrat in Seyda Neen, magic was probably my best skill after certain things he didn't need to know about and I was trying to avoid using. Why not try to join the Mages Guild?
And besides, the worst they could do was laugh at me.
Actually, a pessimistic corner of my mind pointed out, there were a lot of things worse than that they could do. A lot of them involved guards or prisons, the more inventive ones paralysis spells and summoned Daedra. It just wasn't very likely they'd do anything worse than laugh at me, provided I refrained from mortally insulting any high-ranking mages, ruining any experiments, destroying priceless magical artifacts-
All right, I was doomed.
I almost turned tail and ran right then, but I'd already reached the door to the Guild and my own stubborn pride wouldn't let me quit so close to my goal. That pride would be the death of me one day, I predicted gloomily. I just hoped it wasn't this day.
I reached forward to open the door, smiling as I felt the soft wool of my new robe against my arm. Before coming to the guild I'd stopped by the clothier in town, run by Dulnea's friend Millie. I'd spent rather more of my money than planned – I refused to count Cosades' into that amount – but it had been well worth it just for the feeling of being able to throw away the old prison clothes. The new clothes weren't very fine, but they were well-made, durable and, best of all, actually tailored for someone my general size and shape instead of an Altmer-sized humanoid octopus (or so I'd guessed, given the general size and placement of holes.) Adding in a long session with the comb Millie had thrown in, and I almost felt like a whole new person.
The door creaked open, and I peered in cautiously.
Inside, I found a stone corridor with a flight of stairs going up to the right. Hardly any light filtered through the windows, but there were paper lanterns hanging from the walls so I could see quite well.
The place was obviously rich, with expensive tapestries hanging from the walls and a fine carpet underfoot, but I found myself disappointed. Where were the magic lights? The summoned servants? The magical items? The strange and exotic magical instruments? I'd been expecting an enchanted carpet at the very least, possibly one that was woven from, oh, Tsaesci hair, and screamed loudly whenever an intruder set foot on it.
Really, the most magical thing in the place so far looked like the robes of the Dunmer woman standing in front of me.
Wait.
Dunmer?
"Um, hello!" I greeted the woman I'd been ignoring sheepishly.
She raised an eyebrow and looked me up and down without answering. Ordinarily, I would have reacted angrily to her rudeness, but since I was here in order to ask a favour (or rather, beg to be allowed to join the Guild) I endured it silently.
"Are you here to join the Guild?"
I jerked in surprise. "How did you know?" I mean, even with the new robe I hardly looked like someone who would be joining the Guild, did I? Not rich enough, not noble enough, not Altmer enough, and far too much thief. The only way she could have known was via... telepathy.
I thought back on what had been going through my mind earlier.
I was doomed. The paralysis spell would hit me any moment now. The only thing I could hope for was Mehrunes Dagon's mercy – a quick death.
So far, however, the woman didn't seem to be casting any spells, paralysis or otherwise. Instead, she had a rather smug look on her face. "Quite elementary. You're clearly an outlander, for one, meaning that you are undoubtedly more likely to join the Guild than the natives. You are wearing a robe, and you don't look as though you have enough money for the services here. And you're new to Balmora, probably new to Vvardenfell entirely. Added to the apparent lack of money, it implies that you are in need of support, of the kind the Guild offers. Am I correct?"
"Completely," I responded, dazed. No telepathy then. A narrow escape indeed.
Quickly, I turned my mind from my apparently not imminent after all doom to the matter at hand. Time to plead my case. "I'm a good alchemist, and I have some skills in almost all the magical schools. Mysticism is probably my best, I know two Detection spells and-"
"Can you write?" the woman interrupted.
I blinked, thrown off track. If literacy had to be explicitly stated as a requirement, the standards for entry here were indeed a lot lower than in Cyrodiil. I had a chance of getting in.
"Well, yes. Quite well-"
"Good." Apparently, I wasn't to be allowed to finish a sentence. Thankfully, I was still not suicidal and therefore not inclined to get angry about it. "It makes the registration much easier. Here, just write your name down here and sign there."
I blinked at the book being held beneath my nose. It had three columns – 'Date', 'Name' and 'Signature'. Looking at the previous entries, I noted that for many of them the date and name had been written in the same elegant hand while "signature" was a single scrawled letter X.
Apparently, literacy wasn't a requirement for the Morrowind Mages' Guild.
"Are you going to join or not?"
I apologised, took the proferred book and quill pen and neatly noted my name, then paused.
"Well?" I really wasn't sure why she was so impatient. After all, she'd just been standing there when I'd arrived, it didn't seem as if she had anything else to do.
I expected saying this would not get me much in the way of good-will, guild-joining or anything at all except possibly for that paralysis spell. And besides, given that she was a high-ranking mage, she'd probably been engaged in important matters that only required standing there and staring that I couldn't possibly understand. Trying to come up with a telepathy spell, no doubt. So instead, I simply said, "Could you tell me today's date? I'm afraid I've lost track of time."
"The twentieth of Hearthfire." The look she gave me with her answer let me know that she would never do something as ridiculous and unmagelike as forgetting what date it was. I resisted the impulse to tell her that if she'd been under a sleep spell for at least three days she'd be a little muddled too, instead quickly noted it down and signed my name with a flourish.
As I handed the book back, I noted that I felt just the same as before. Strange, that. I would have thought being member of the Mages' Guild would make me feel... different, somehow. Apparently the arrogance wasn't inherent to being in the Guild - who could have guessed?
"All right. Welcome to the Mages' Guild, Associate-" she looked at the book, "-Adryn. No family name?"
Once I had duly confirmed that yes, I really had no family name (it happens! I fail to understand why people get so odd about it!) she continued. "Associate Adryn, right. I am Ranis Athrys, a Wizard in the Guild and Guild Steward for the Balmora Mages' Guild. Would you like to hear the Mages' Oath?"
"Wait a minute, shouldn't you have asked me that before I joined?" I asked, surprised.
Ranis waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, that kind of thing is hardly very important, now is it? Time enough once you've joined."
I was getting the vague impression that the Mages' Guild was eager for new members. I have no idea what could have made me think so. Honestly.
"Well, I would like to hear the Mages' Oath," I told Ranis firmly.
Ranis rattled it off with the ease of long habit – there couldn't be that few new recruits if she was this familiar with it, I thought. It was pretty much what I'd been expecting, all about the pursuit of knowledge and the like. I took it fully sincerely and honestly, although the sidelong glances Ranis gave me made me suspect that she didn't think so.
"Well, that's that," Ranis said once I was done. "The other members are downstairs, in our common area – there are temporary beds for those of us who don't yet have a place of their own." A rather pointed hint, but I was grateful for it. If I stayed at the Eight Plates every day, my funds would be gone very quickly – even if I used the Blades' money, which I had absolutely no intention of doing. (I had very fond dreams of returning that money to Cosades one day. Preferably from a distance, with a slingshot and good aim.)
"Advancement in the guild is achieved if you have the necessary skill and have shown your loyalty to the guild by doing the appropriate duties. I don't have anything suitable for an Associate at the moment, so if you want any duties, speak to Ajira downstairs. Is there anything else you would like to know? Because I would rather like to get back to my work."
Given that Ranis was looking rather impatient and I was already close to completely overwhelmed with the things I'd learned in the past few days, I told her that no, that was everything, thanked her and headed downstairs.
Downstairs, the air was pleasantly cool and dry, and I paused for a moment to gather my wits and look into the large room that was apparently the centre of the guild.
We were below ground, so there were no windows, but the room was well-lit with yet more lanterns. There were several comfortable-looking blue bunk beds in a corner, a number of shelves filled with books and what looked like an alchemy lab at the far end. There were also a number of people, who I assumed from the location and robes they were wearing to be mages - an Orc who only looked up from her book to glare at whatever had interrupted her concentration, an elderly Altmer and a fellow dar- Dunmer deep in conversation, and in the corner with the alchemical devices a Khajiit and a Bosmer who were also deep in conversation, except that theirs seemed rather less friendly. Now, I admit I was judging on first sight so maybe I was entirely wrong and they were in fact the best of friends, but the scowls, extended claws and swishing tail (Khajiit) and pestle being held in a threatening manner (Bosmer) all contributed to leave a certain... impression.
Oh, and the shouting. The shouting added a certain something to the scene.
"-telling me to get out? My desk is upstairs, true, but I'm hardly barred from the main area of the guild. I have just as much right to be here as you do, you-"
"Well, if Galbedir insists on coming down here and disturbing Ajira while they are both supposed to be working, maybe she can explain why Ajira's request for violet corprinus and luminous russula from the Vivec guild disappeared-"
The Bosmer tried to look outraged, but with that level of acting she'd have been laughed out of any tavern in Skyrim. Yes, even the ones where the patrons are so drunk they have a bucket next to each table and handholds on the bar. I could spot the smug look she was trying to hide from the entrance. "As if you have any evidence for such an accusation! But I suppose lying is just to be expected from someone who is so lazy as to request easy-to-find local ingredients from the main guild instead of going and getting them herself-"
The Khajiit - I assumed she was Ajira - bristled. And let me tell you, that word takes on an entirely new meaning with Khajiit. "Why you-"
"Would the both of you shut up?" a new voice interrupted. A Breton woman, standing near the arguing pair, who I'd somehow missed earlier. "I'm trying to concentrate, you know. If the guild guide network collapses and half Vvardenfell comes knocking on our door complaining about it I'll send them to you, then you'll be sorry!"
"Ajira would be happy to shut up if Galbedir left, stopped trying to sabotage her work and get your filthy hands off my equipment-" Ajira had apparently just noticed that Galbedir had appropriated a pestle as a makeshift weapon.
"Girls." Total silence fell, only interrupted by the thud of Galbedir dropping the pestle. I goggled at the Altmer who'd interrupted in amazement. She hadn't even raised her voice!
"I am ashamed of both of you," she continued. "Carrying on like this, and when we have a customer, to boot!"
Five pairs of eyes snapped to me, prompting me to try to hide (it's a reflex! I can't help it!). The effort was sadly futile, given that I was standing in full torchlight - I may be good, but I'm not the Grey Fox. It didn't stop me from trying to become one with the bare stone wall behind me all the same.
"Oh, don't be shy," the Altmer continued. "What are you here for? Are you looking for spells? Potions? Enchanted items? Transport?"
"Actually, I just joined the guild. Ranis Athrys said I should speak to Ajira for assignments?" I inched away from the wall, mourning our too-brief friendship. I was starting to regret joining, as so far the guild members weren't exactly giving off an overwhelming impression of mental stability - of the six in the room, one had her nose in a book and was ignoring everyone, three seemed to spend their time shouting at one another, and I was wary of the Altmer. There had to be more to the mer who could stop the Ajira and Galbedir show with a word.
"Ah, a new Associate! Welcome, we're all pleased to have you. I'm Estirdalin, and these are Marayn Dren, Ajira, Galbedir, Masalinie Merian and Sharn gra-Muzgob," she pointed to each of the mages in turn, and I decided not to commend that I'd managed to work out two of those for myself. And it was relatively easy to work out who each of the remaining names must belong to, given the races of the people in question...
I noticed Estirdalin looking at me expectantly and quickly reviewed the conversation in my head- oh. She was probably waiting for me to introduce myself. "I'm Adryn," I said. Really, this made how many times in two days? I ought to invest in a name tag. And possibly add on "the next person who asks 'no family name?' will get to experience my brand-new Firebite spell free of charge. Really, nobody wonders about it with Bosmer or Altmer, but if a d- Dunmer shows up with only a first name suddenly everyone has to make inane comments." Well, a bit more briefly than that.
Thankfully for my relations with my new guildmates, Estirdalin's only reaction to my name was a quirk of an eyebrow. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Adryn. Now, if I may be so bold as to ask-" Altmer. Always have to play more-manners-than-thou. "-did you join the guild primarily to take advantage of the services, or out of a genuine interest in the art of magic?"
I wrinkled my nose. "Interest, of course. I've always wanted to learn more about magic, but never properly had the chance." Really, as if any sane person would tell a room full of dedicated mages that the only reason they'd joined was to take advantage of the services!
...come to think of it, given Ranis' attitude earlier I doubted it was all that unusual.
"I do know quite a bit about alchemy, and some magic," I concluded.
Suddenly, I saw Ajira making shushing signs from the corner of my eye. But it was too late.
Estirdalin's eyes gleamed. "Really. I hope you don't mind if I ask you a few questions about that?"
What followed was the most exhausting grilling I had ever undergone in my life. I had no idea what that old Altmer was doing at the Mages' Guild; she should be in some Imperial dungeon, teaching professional interrogators how to really get answers. At the end, it felt as if every single fact I knew about any aspect of magic and a few I didn't had been dredged out of my brain. Estirdalin looked happy; I mainly wanted to crawl over to the soft, inviting-looking bed and sleep for a day.
"That's all very interesting! I'll have to think of a training schedule for you." Okay, forget sleep. Sleep could only bring temporary relief. Sleep meant waking up, meant facing Estirdalin again at some point. Death, on the other hand...
"Excuse me, but Ajira thinks she heard Adryn say that the Dunmer was to take duties from her," a voice interrupted from behind us. Ajira, apparently. Only Khajiit and Argonians are that cruel to grammar. "And she said she is most interested in alchemy, which is Ajira's specialty, no?"
"She is – I mean, I am," I agreed hastily. At that moment, I was completely prepared to forgive and forget Ajira's earlier vicious attack on my eardrums and her massive abuse of the third person. No, Ajira was saving me from Estirdalin. For that, I'd declare her my new best friend.
"Well!" Estirdalin seemed skeptical, but then sighed. "I suppose you're right. But if you ever want any proper nurture of your magical skills, girl-"
"I'll come to you, of course, Estirdalin Thank you very much. It's... too great of an honour for me," I invented rapidly. "I don't think I could... profit from it properly at the moment. I don't have the proper... mindset."
"Hmph. I see. Well, come to me if you ever change your mind." Estirdalin still did not seem convinced, but was apparently not inclined to argue. Silently, I thanked each of the Nine Divines, and then the Daedra Lords for good measure. I'm not a Daedra worshipper, but some situations are specia. Besides, I suspect that if Ajira hadn't saved me from Estirdalin, I would have quickly become a devotee of Sheogorath, if you know what I mean.
"Come," Ajira was whispering and tugging at my robe. "Before she changes her mind."
I noted with satisfaction that prison had not reduced my ability to move very, very quickly in life-or-death situations.
We fled to behind the alchemy desk (I eyed it, wondering if it might be possible to fortify it somehow) and, after a minute, Estirdalin sighed and walked away. Once I was sure the danger had passed, I found myself collapsing in helpless giggles.
"It is not funny," Ajira said reprovingly. "The honoured Estirdalin is very, very... dedicated." Her whiskers twitched. "Ajira spent two days working with her when she arrived."
"Goodness. How did you survive?" I managed between giggles, then clapped my hands over my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that aloud.
Ajira looked as if she were about to take offense, but then her mouth quirked in what I recognised as a rueful smile. "With difficulty." And that set me off again.
I eventually managed to calm down, rather embarrassed – I wasn't usually given to hysterical laughter. I decided to blame it on stress; I hadn't exactly had an easy few days of it, after all.
The Breton in the other corner (I didn't know how she could stand it, not having some kind of barrier between her and Estirdalin) was staring at me as if she thought I were mad. I didn't take it badly; I wouldn't be at all surprised to find I was mad. Yes, that must be it – I'd lost my mind in prison and everything that had happened had been one long hallucination. It was so obvious, I couldn't imagine why I hadn't figured it out earlier. I mean, giant fleas as transportation? Being forcibly inducted into the most infamous and elusive spy network in existence? The Empire actually giving people money? That last at the very least should have clued me in on something not being right.
Of course, even now that I'd deduced this, I figured I might as well go with the flow anyway seeing as it was being quite pleasant as hallucinations went.
Not that I have much in the way of experience with hallucinations. Hardly any, in fact. Really, you could call it none at all. And if anyone ever mentions an incident involving me, intercepted smuggling goods, an unfortunate failure of my skill at identifying alchemical substances and two pounds of highly refined moon sugar, they are lying through their teeth.
Just saying.
Ajira was not looking at me as if I was mad, I noticed. Instead, she looked as if she knew exactly how I was feeling. Which she probably did. Two days? I have no idea how she managed to escape sane.
"It was said to aid in your escape, but Ajira would like to speak about alchemy," she said.
I flinched. Expecting me to participate in another interrogation? Voluntarily? Clearly I'd been mistaken. Ajira had not escaped sane, she just faked it very well.
Clearly, my thoughts must have been written clearly on my face because Ajira hurriedly added, "not like that!" She took a breath. "I have no wish to test your knowledge. Nor the knowledge needed to do so," she added self-deprecatingly. "Ajira is very, very interested in alchemy, in the making of potions, yes? But she is not very skilled, just a beginner in the art. And there are no others here with the knowledge and inclination to help her learn."
"Oh. Of course." I said. Then it sank in. "Wait, you want to learn from me, of all people? Are you mad? I'm barely an amateur myself!"
"You did not sound one when Estirdalin questioned you," Ajira argued. "The Dunmer spoke about using repeated distillation as a technique for reducing the length of draining effects. That is not something Ajira has ever come across before."
I took a moment, then realised that 'the Dunmer' was probably supposed to be me. "Oh, that's just a trick I picked up somewhere."
"You mentioned quite a few such... tricks." Now Ajira sounded petulant.
"But they're really nothing special," I tried to argue. "Just shortcuts and cheats to make up for the lack of real knowledge."
Ajira didn't say anything. She just stared at me soulfully.
I looked into her green eyes and felt myself wilt. Ajira was still quite young as Khajiit went, and the way she made her eyes go wide and fur puff out made her look like a sad kitten. I've been accused of being heartless before, but even I can't possibly say no to that.
"Fine," I groused, "I'll try to teach you what I can. But!" I added sternly when I saw Ajira's eyes light up, "in return you teach me about the local ingredients, where to find them, their properties and all that."
"Easily done," Ajira purred. "Ajira does not know much herself, but Ranis has assigned to her a report about the local plants. This way, she can kill two cliff-racers with one fireball."
I blinked. That was a variation on the old proverb I hadn't come across yet. "What are cliff-racers and why would you need to kill them?"
"If you haven't come across them yet, treasure your innocence," the Breton (who had been eavesdropping on our conversation so obviously I'd had to fight the urge to go over and explain to her how to listen in properly) tossed in from the other side of the room. "They're terrible, terrible pests and all over the place these days. So much for the much-vaunted Ghostfence if it can't even keep simple animals in the Ashlands where they're supposed to be."
"Oh, and you think the Ghostfence was made to keep in cliff-racers, do you, Masalinie?" a gravelly voice interrupted. Apparently Marayn had also been listening in (and much better than Massilein, at that. I silently congratulated him.) "You think the Tribunal is so worried about us having to deal with flying reptiles, of all things, that they created the Ghostfence just so no one had to worry about them?"
Misanalie tossed her head. "And I suppose you believe all the stories about some ancient evil sitting under Red Mountain?"
Marayn frowned. "I'm no member of the Temple. But there's something there, that's for sure. Or where do you think the Blight comes from? Or how about... corprus?" His voice was oddly hushed on that last word. "I tell you, the creatures inside the Ghostfence are beyond description. Not that you would know. When was the last time you visited Ghostgate, Masalinie? This year? Last year? Oh, right – never. That was it."
"I have important duties here," Masa- Masi- the Breton (I mentally gave up on her name) snapped. "And besides-"
I would have liked to continue listening to the discussion; I didn't have a single clue as to what they were talking about (what was this "Ghostfence", anyway?) but seeing people yelling at someone not me is something of a novel experience and I like to partake of it whenever I have the opportunity. However, at this point Ajira tugged on my sleeve.
"What are you- oh, right," I sighed when I saw her expectant eyes. "Alchemy."
I had been highly dubious about the arrangement – really, after Estirdalin, it was a wonder I hadn't run screaming for the hills the moment Ajira had suggested it, especially since my first impression of her was more along the lines of "clawed incarnation of fury" than "good working partner" – but it actually seemed to be working well. I'd been keeping an escape route in mind in case this turned into yet another interrogation, seeing as I figured I'd fulfilled my quota for the next three lives at least, but it turned out to be unneccessary - and once away from Galbedir Ajira actually turned out to be friendly and quite easy to get along with, leading me to suspect that the blame for the obvious feud was mostly the Bosmer's. And although we started with Ajira asking me probing questions about the various tricks I'd picked up to get the most out of shoddy equipment, I soon figured out that Ajira had a few things hidden up her sleeve as well, and from there the whole thing quickly devolved into shop talk.
I surprised myself with how intensely I enjoyed the conversation, which ranged from a debate about whether skooma pipes could be used as reasonable substitutes for alembics (that one ended with me deciding to get hold of one and show her that you can make perfectly acceptable potions with them, although I figured I should probably wait until the other guild members weren't around lest they get the wrong impression) to methods of determining the effect of some unknown plant other than the classic of slipping it into your rival's food and watching closely to see what happened. Even the short break we took to arrange lunch made me impatient. Clearly, it had been far too long since I'd had any form of intellectual stimulation.
An immense surprise, I'm sure. After all, everyone knows that prison is the perfect place to have conversations about the minutiae of obscure branches of alchemy and-
Actually, it probably is. Except that poisons have never quite managed to capture my interest – not the proper thing for my career plans, you understand, and I think it might give the wrong impression – and I don't think the potential conversation partners are all too interested in sharing their knowledge.
At any rate, I was veritably starved for intelligent conversation on a subject in my area of interest, and from what she'd said about the other guild members' interest in alchemy I suspect Ajira was likewise. We didn't just continue the conversation over lunch, no, we started the practical experiments over lunch. For a while, anyway. Nine out of ten alchemy instructors will tell you that mixing food and alchemy is a bad idea. Now, I would generally merrily ignore this kind of advice, as nine out of ten alchemy instructors are stodgy boring old men who've probably never worked with an untested ingredient in their lives. However, on rare occasion they are actually right – and this was definitely one of them, I had to admit as I poured the third antidote down Ajira's throat. (It took two more until her face finally regained its normal colour.)
I apologised profusely to Ajira, because I suspected it was me who'd splashed the bittergreen-gravedust mix onto her scrib jerky. Luckily, she didn't seem inclined to hold a grudge. "It could have happened to me just as easily, friend Adryn," she said once she could talk again. "Ajira should watch what she eats."
I noted that I had been upgraded from "the Dunmer" to "friend Adryn" post-poisoning. So poisoning people made them like you more? This did not line up with my usual experience of the world.
We both decided it was probably wiser to leave all practical experiments until after lunch. As we were both very eager to test whether the bittergreen-gravedust mixture had any other effects than making Khajiit change colour, this had the unintended side-effect of turning lunch into something that looked more like an eating contest. (I won.) We were back at the alembic before we'd even swallowed the last bite.
It turned out the bittergreen-gravedust mixture was pretty much worthless, but then I mentioned that I wondered how that poisoning effect compared to the way the mushrooms worked (I swear I was telling the truth about not wanting to be an assassin – this was purely intellectual curiosity!) as I'd done some tests but had focused more on the water-walking effect...
Ajira's tail went ramrod-straight. Apparently I'd captured her interest. "You have experimented with the mushrooms?" she asked.
"Well, yes," I answered, slightly puzzled. "Just yesterday. I wasn't able to do much with them, so I still have-"
"You have samples?" Ajira interrupted me, excited. "Ajira has been looking for those mushrooms for days now!"
I found this statement rather puzzling, seeing as the swamp was filled with the things. All Ajira would have had to do was to take the silt strider to Seyda Neen and walk off the platform in order to have more mushrooms than anyone could ever need within reach. And I was sure there was swampland near Balmora too. What on earth was wrong with Ajira that she had to wait for me to bring her mushrooms and not collect her own?
Luckily, this was one of the few occasions that my brain was faster than my mouth, meaning I did not ask or point out any of that out loud. Being "friend Adryn" was very nice and all, but I didn't really want to test how far that title went.
Instead, I got my pack from the corner I'd tossed it in and rummaged through it. Mortar and pestle... water skin... the shirt I'd bought at Arrille's... I wondered if Ajira would stop staring at me if I asked. Possibly, possibly not, possibly she would do something quite violent to me for asking. Mentioning the mushrooms seemed to have unbalanced her – were they hallucinogenic? Addictive? Had I accidentally got myself involved in the drug trade?
I firmly banished such wild flights of the imagination (Ajira as a drug dealer? Really, now), shoved a change of underthings to the bottom of the pack before the Khajiit spotted them and found myself very, very grateful that I had decided to drop off the Imperial package before stopping by the Mages' Guild. I doubted Ajira would have asked any questions, but her seeing it might have caused problems.
Finally, I rose from my crouch clutching my ingredient vials triumphantly. I really had no idea how they'd managed to work themselves to the bottom of my pack, upside-down. Then again, it's always the case that what you need is at the very bottom, no matter where you put it to begin. My theory is that invisible Daedra rearrange your belongings in order to keep whatever you need most at any given moment as far away from you as possible. Miniature scamps, maybe. Judging by what I've read, it seems the kind of thing they would do.
Ajira almost snatched the vials out of my hands, staring at them avidly. The gleam in her eyes made me start giving more and more credence to my drug theory. (Dealer, no. Addict, on the other hand? I mean, she was a Khajiit.)
"Um, Ajira," I asked cautiously. "What do you need these for, exactly?"
Ajira blinked. "Ranis Athrys has asked Ajira to study the local mushrooms. Ranis asked a week ago, and she has been getting rather impatient. But Ajira could not find the mushrooms, none of her suppliers stocked them."
At this point, my brain decided to prove that its recent victory over my mouth had been a fluke. "But why don't you just go out into the swamp and get some?" I blurted out. "They're everywhere!"
The dark look Ajira gave me almost made me take a step back. "Go out? Into the wilds? Impossible. It is far too dangerous."
Remembering the E.R.D.s, I had to agree that the place wasn't exactly harmless. Still, considering how ubiquitous the mushrooms were, the relative number of trees and the climbing abilities of rats, I felt Ajira was exaggerating.
"It's really not that bad. I mean, sure the wildlife is pretty dangerous, but-" Ajira scowled more and more as I went on, and I knew shutting up right now would be the smart thing to do. Unfortunately, I couldn't make myself stop talking. "-you can always run, or climb trees, or-"
"There are dangers here other than the wildlife," Ajira snapped. "Not that the Dunmer would know about that."
I blinked, both at the odd stress put on my race and at the fact that I'd apparently been demoted. It hurt more than I'd expected, considering I'd only known Ajira for a few hours and had spent most of that time trying to get over... unfortunate first impressions. "Of course I wouldn't. I've only been here for a day," I responded, unable to keep an injured tone from creeping into my voice.
Ajira blinked, and her expression lightened again. I had the odd impression that she was looking at me rather than through me for the first time since we started talking about mushroom collection expeditions. "Ajira is sorry, friend Adryn. I had forgotten you are not native Dunmer."
Meaning that if I had been native Dunmer, her getting angry at me would have been entirely justified? Mysteries within mysteries. Still, I was happy enough that Ajira had got over her snit that I didn't really want to get her angry again by trying to figure out what it had been about.
"Complete newcomer, that's me," I said cheerfully instead. "Entirely ignorant of anything that goes on on this island – it is an island, right? I mean, for all I know it could be an oddly-shaped peninsula. Or land-locked, and the coast is just an optical illusion perpetrated by bored wizards. Really, the main thing I know about this country is what its mushrooms look like."
Ajira laughed. It sounded oddly forced. "Then let us consider the mushrooms, friend Adryn."
We spent the rest of the day considering mushrooms. First we replicated my water-walking potions, using an orangeish waxy substance Ajira called "kwama cuttle" as we didn't have any scales to hand. When one of the greenish ones ("luminous russula", according to Ajira) accidentally made its way into the mix, we discovered that these mushrooms had not a water-walking but a water-breathing effect. It'd be handy for any underwater explorations, I supposed, if it weren't for those dratted fish.
Of course, we also discovered that the two types of mushrooms combined created a poison that wasn't destroyed in the boiling process, unlike when they were used separately. Luckily, after Ajira's previous misadventure we'd kept the antidote potions close to hand.
It was already quite late when we turned our minds to the other two types of mushrooms, the distinctly similar-looking brown ones I'd found growing on tree trunks. It seemed that no matter how you sliced, ground, beat to a pulp, stewed, boiled, or – well, no matter which way you prepared them, the only effect they had was of draining some attribute of yours. And a different one each time, to boot. By the time we found the fifth one, I was wondering whether some capricious Daedric Lord had placed these on the island as a trap for the unwary traveller. "Oh no, these mushrooms aren't poisonous!" I can already hear people say. "Of course, they will make you slow, tired, clumsy, weak, frail, and probably result in your collapsing defenseless and getting eaten alive by E.R.D.s But no, they're not poisonous at all!" Come to think of it, that sounds rather like Sheogorath's brand of humour.
Still, pretty much anything you can find has some beneficial use, however hard to discover. I argued about this with Ajira over dinner; she had come to the conclusion that Ranis Athrys was making fun of her and the mushrooms were entirely useless for any practical purposes.
"Well, I wouldn't call them useless exactly," I said thoughtfully. "That sort of thing can be pretty handy. I mean, say you ever have someone you don't want to make ill, but do want to... hmm... teach the error of their ways, say. You have a whole range of options! You could make the person clumsy, easily manipulated, or-"
Ajira's eyes lit up with interest. "-stupid. Yes. A very interesting proposal, friend Adryn. I shall have to think about it. Gal- well, Ajira might possibly be able to come up with a use." I hid a smile. "But," and Ajira's whiskers drooped, "this is not something Ranis shou- er, wishes to hear about, I am sure."
I wasn't so sure myself, but kept this to myself. Ajira seemed convinced the guildmistress was an honourable, upstanding member of the community, which is the sort of ludicrously unlikely claim I will only consider when supported by a great deal of evidence. On the other hand, if Galbedir's fried ash yams were indeed going to meet with an alchemical accident in the near future it was probably best Ajira didn't let her intentions slip to the guildmistress.
"Still, even aside from that... I'm sure there must be something we're missing," I said for the fourth time. It was – I admit it – a highly uncharacteristic show of patience. Ordinarily, I didn't even bother to repeat myself at all; maybe it was something in the water.
If it was, however, it certainly hadn't affected Ajira. "You have said that already!" Her claws scraped against the wood of the table and I winced. "I do not think we are missing anything, I think there is nothing to find!" She took a deep breath and then continued, slightly calmer. "I have no wish to waste any more of my time, friend Adryn. You may continue with the experiments if you wish, but I have other duties I must attend to."
"Suit yourself," I told her. "I'll tell you what they do in the morning."
"Ajira shall look forward to hearing you agree with me that they are entirely useless," she retorted.
And with that, the challenge was on.
I was going to find a beneficial effect in those damned mushrooms if I had to put it there myself.
...although I rather hoped I wouldn't have to put it there myself. Although I was relatively sure I could pull it off, academic dishonesty was not quite how I hoped to begin this section of my life, and if Ajira found out she would probably never forgive me.
Once dinner was over, Ajira wandered off, presumably to attend to those "other duties" she had mentioned. I didn't pay her any mind, as I was busy slavering over the equipment. Of course, I'd been using it earlier, but now I had it all to myself. So it was really entirely different. And Ajira had left me the rare ingredients, too!
I sternly reminded myself that using up Ajira's entire supply of ground gemstones and Daedra skin would definitely not go over well, no matter how tempting it was, and got to work.
In the beginning, it was immensely frustrating, as I checked for effect after effect and failed to find any of them. I would probably have given up, except that this was no longer an intellectual puzzle but a challenge and my innate stubbornness refused to let me admit defeat. I could only hope that this time it wouldn't get me in trouble.
Finally, long after the other mages had left for their respective homes - I was apparently the only homeless guild member - my efforts were rewarded. A soft glow from a test tube heralded an active effect.
"Detect Enchantment!" I exclaimed, taking full advantage of the empty guild hall in order to indulge in self-conversation. (Call it eccentric, but I rather like talking to myself when nobody is around to comment on it. I figure it is understandable, given that I so rarely get the chance to speak to someone intelligent.) "No wonder we couldn't find anything earlier, who would have expected a Mysticism effect in a mushroom, of all things?"
I was about to turn back to the sample when something occured to me.
"...I wonder if it's the same for the other one?"
It was almost anticlimatic after so much work – the first thing I tried, a Dispel effect, worked. Mystic mushrooms, now I'd really seen it all.
I triumphantly left a scribbled note on Ajira's desk describing the two effects, squashing the urge to add a "Told you so!", "So there!" or "Nyah nyah" at the end. I left it prominently displayed on her desk where she couldn't possibly miss it, then turned my attention to cleaning up.
Ordinarily, the prospect of tidying up that mess would have seemed rather daunting. But I was in extremely high spirits and tackled the task with gusto. I even whistled to myself as I worked. Or rather, blew air through my lips and occasionally managed to produce sound by accident, but I figured it was close enough. I'd been able to properly immerse myself in alchemy for the first time in far too long, won the little challenge Ajira had set for me and even had a credible reason for having used up half her supply of ground pearl. Life was good.
Still, I found myself yawning more and more often. My body was informing me, more and more insistently, that it did not particularly care about alchemy, challenges or the general positive slant of life – no, it was more concerned with the fact that I had slept very badly the night before and it was now already long past the time where good little Dunmer should be in bed. Spoiled things, bodies are – you would think that after having slept for three days before, it would be able to handle a little sleep deficit more graciously. But no; it was all I could do to keep my eyes open as I set the last flask to dry. I stumbled into the sleeping area and managed to get changed into my nightclothes more by feel than by design. In fact, I rather suspected I'd accidentally put on my nightgown backwards and inside-out, but couldn't really bring myself to care. Clothes did not matter. Sleep was what mattered.
For the second night in a row, I collapsed into bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Chapter 3: Chapter Three
Chapter Text
The next day, my nose woke before the rest of me.
Now, before anyone gets any odd ideas I should make it clear that I do not, generally, hold with the independence of body parts. Call me old-fashioned in that regard if you will, but I believe in the Daedric worship argument. After all, everyone knows that saying the odd prayer to Sheogorath will eventually lead to your spending your days in a Daedric shrine, mad and gibbering with your underpants on your head and sacrificing children's toys to the Prince of Madness. Oh, and voluntarily living with Orcs. If that's not a sure sign of madness, I don't know what is.
Anyway, it's just like that with body parts. One day it's your nose waking up ahead of you, the next your ears decide they're really bored spending all their time attached to your head and would really rather do a bit of travelling, and next thing you know your arms are off climbing mountains, your eyes are getting themselves thoroughly drunk in a tavern somewhere, your mouth is off doing something that shouldn't be mentioned in polite company and you're left with only your feet for company. No, you have to be firm about these things.
Regardless, that day my control was rather lax and my nose did, in fact, wake before the rest of me (it won't happen again, I swear). One moment I was deeply asleep, the next the most amazing scent filled my nostrils.
"Hmgrmpf?" I mumbled. As you can see, my nose was really being quite bold – even my tongue hadn't woken up yet, and most people I know tell me they doubt it ever sleeps in the first place.
It was really an absolutely delicious smell, and slowly the rest of me started to awaken as well. I cracked my eyes open and looked around blearily. There were several blurs in varying shades of blue and brown, as well as a brownish blob.
I closed my eyes, rubbed them, blinked fiercely and then gave it a second try.
This time, the interior of the Mages' Guild sleeping alcove filled my vision. The blue blurs had coalesced into my bed, a tapestry on the wall, a carpet and a curtain, separating the alcove from the main room. The brown blurs were the walls and the floor. The blob was Ajira.
I blinked at her. "Morning," I croaked.
"Good morning, friend Adryn." Ajira looked far too cheerful for the early hour. I bet her organs hadn't made a desperate bid for freedom. That would ruin anyone's day. "I saw your notes. Mysticism!"
I remembered last night and a smile crept onto my face. I tried desperately to keep it from being too smug. "Yes. I know. Of course, it would take a very good alchemist with an enormous intuitive understanding of the ingredients to reach that conclusion." I paused. Probably better not to gloat too much. "Or alternatively, a lot of effort," I admitted. "I think I tried half of your ingredients before I found one that worked."
Ajira nodded. "Yes. Ajira noticed the depletion of her stores."
I felt my cheeks heat up. "Um, I promise I tried to be careful and not waste anything." Well, somewhat tried. A little. I'd thought about it - that counted, right? "Will this get you into trouble with Ranis?"
"Oh no, oh no. After all, it was the honoured Ranis Athrys who gave Ajira the task to begin." She smiled; always a terrifying sight with a Khajiit. "And since I am not, after all, a great alchemist with an excellent intuitive understanding of the ingredients..."
We shared a conspirational nod.
Throughout the conversation, I had been trying to trace the scent that had woken me up. Now, I finally managed to make the connection between it and the small brown bag Ajira was holding. "Say, what is that?" I asked, trying to sound off-hand.
It might even have succeeded; unfortunately, my stomach chose that moment to give a loud rumble.
Ajira chuckled. "Breakfast, as friend Adryn may have guessed."
"Ajira," I proclaimed, "you are a pearl - no, a diamond, a shining diamond among Khajiit. Stendarr himself could learn from your thoughtfulness. I love you." I paused. "Um, how much do I owe you?"
Ajira waved it off. I suspected she was blushing somewhere under all that fur. "Nothing, nothing. Some of the Mages' Guild take their breakfast at the Eight Plates each morning - the honoured Estirdalin has an arrangement with the proprietress. Ajira asked to have some extra for her good friend Adryn, as no one had informed her of this." Her whiskers twitched. "She got very much, very fine food, much less trouble than she was expecting - have you spoken with Dulnea Ralaal before?"
I nodded. "I stayed there yesterday night - I appear to have made a good impression." I eyed the bag. "So. Breakfast?"
Breakfast was fresh rolls with scrib jelly. The scrib jelly tasted the same as it had the day before; the rolls, on the other hand, were delicious. They were still warm from the oven and spiced with something I couldn't identify (I was beginning to get rather sick of that). Whatever it was, it tasted amazing.
Ajira kept me company while I stuffed myself, chatting all the while. It was from her that I learned these were rolls Dulnea made especially for the Mages' Guild each morning - which explained why I hadn't had any yesterday - and that they were flavoured with dried fire fern. Dulnea also always made a goodly-sized pot of her special tea each morning, as the mages all loved it; Marayn swore his spells worked half again as well that day if he'd had a cup. Unfortunately, Ajira hadn't been able to think of a way to keep it hot on the way and thus hadn't been able to bring me any.
"Fire spell?" I said brightly after swallowing down the last mouthful.
Ajira glared.
"Joking! Joking!" I held up my arms, palms outward, in the universal sign of surrender. "What's in that drink, anyway?" The addition was partially to distract Ajira, but mostly because I was genuinely curious.
"She says it is a secret recipe."
"And you didn't try to figure it out?" I was scandalised. And she calls herself an alchemist?
"Of course." Ajira sounded affronted. "But it is a difficult one, very blended, many reactions between the ingredients. Ajira believes, though, that one of the ingredients is the leaf of scathecraw - it is a plant from the Ashlands, and restores willpower. It also has a smoky taste, though much stronger and more acrid than Dulnea's drink."
"If she's managed to mitigate the taste of a potion without lessening the effect, I want to know how," I said immediately.
"So would I," Ajira agreed, just as promptly. "I would not need to work and work to make Journeyman, I would be able to write a text on taste-improving measures in alchemy and make Magician right away!"
"Not if I got there first."
"A joint work then, friend Adryn?"
"That sounds acceptable, friend Ajira."
At that point, we both collapsed in giggles. As if alchemists hadn't been searching for these things for as long as the subject has existed! After all, we don't enjoy brewing concoctions that taste so vile you have to hold your nose to choke them down...
Well.
Maybe sometimes.
It all depends on who's drinking the potion in question, after all.
That line of thought made me think of the conversation I'd had with Ajira about the uses of draining potions, which made me think of Galbedir. Was she one of the Mages' Guild members that had their morning meal at the Eight Plates each day? With Ajira? I'd only seen the two together once, but I couldn't possibly imagine that would go well.
"Who is it that eats at the Eight Plates?"
"Ajira, Masalinie, Estirdalin and Marayn, almost always. Galbedir, rarely." Ajira's whiskers twitched in precisely the manner of an affronted cat. You could practically read 'not rarely enough' over her head; I had to hide a smile. "Sharn gra-Muzgrob and Ranis Athrys, never. Sometimes visitors from other halls, if they are here at this time - friend Edwinna from Ald'ruhn comes often, as do Sirilonwe and Craetia from Vivec. Eraamion from Caldera is less often, but almost all of the Sadrith Mora guild stop by regularly..."
I nodded, letting the unfamiliar names flow past me. Many guildhalls on this island, apparently - and me without a map, to boot.
"...those are most of the people," Ajira was finishing up.
From what she'd said, it sounded as if a veritable battalion ate at the Eight Plates each morning. I wondered how on earth I'd missed them the previous day. "Is this the major guildhall on the island, then?" I asked. "It sounds as if everyone comes here to do business."
Ajira shook her head, then shrugged. "No. But then again yes. It is a difficult thing."
"How so?"
"On the Aedra's side, no. The main guildhall is in Vivec, under the governance of the greatly honoured Archmage Trebonius. Vivec is also the largest city, with the most trade, the most people, the most governance, and the palace of one of the gods of the Tribunal," my skepticism probably showed clearly on my face at that point, but Ajira didn't notice, "so it is where everyone should go for the important things. But on the Daedra's side, the Vivec guildhall is a bit... odd."
"What do you mean by odd?" I asked, fascinated, but Ajira hemmed and hawed a bit and shuffled her feet until I was afraid her claws would tear holes in the carpet. Apparently she wasn't quite ready to discuss gossip that bordered on treasonous with a guild member who'd only been in the guild for a day. Again, I couldn't really blame her.
"Is there anything else friend Adryn needs?" she was asking now, looking a bit guilty at not answering my question.
"No. Wait, actually, yes," I contradicted myself. "Could you leave for a moment?" I gestured down at myself, sitting on the bed with crumbs on my lap, still in my sleeping clothes. "I need to get changed."
Getting changed wound up taking longer than I thought - first I noticed a curtained alcove containing a bucket filled with water as well as a wash-cloth and some soap and decided to take the opportunity to clean up a bit, then I couldn't find my skirt, then I couldn't find my left shoe... losing track of your belongings in that short a time period and that small a room takes skill, but apparently I had it in spades.
Holding my shoe aloft triumphantly after retrieving it from under the closet, I spared a moment to be profoundly grateful that Ajira hadn't come bursting in to see what was taking so long. She'd reacted with complete incomprehension when I'd tried to explain why, exactly, I'd prefer not to have her watching me while I got changed, leading me to suspect that Khajiit didn't have a nudity taboo. As a result, I'd been half-expecting her to yank open the curtains while I was in the middle of my morning ablutions. Something best avoided, especially given that I'd heard the rest of the guild return by now.
Finally, I'd managed to put on the new clothes I'd bought from the clothier the day before - the feeling of soft linen against my skin and the sight of my reflection in a lovely embroidered robe immediately banishing all the doubts I'd had about spending so much of my money on clothes - and got my hair as tidy as I possibly could. (In my case, this means I look as if I got hit by a Spark spell half an hour ago instead of two minutes. Relative improvement is the key.) I poked my head outside the alcove, already preparing apologies for having taken so long.
I admit it - I was half-expecting Ajira to be impatiently shifting from foot to foot in that way only Khajiit can quite manage. (The twitching tail and the vibrating whiskers add a certain something that man and mer can't quite match.) I was therefore half-disappointed when I realised that she wasn't waiting for me at all. As far as I could tell, she'd retreated behind the alchemy desk, but she was hard to make out because the alchemy desk was surrounded by a veritable throng of people.
"...three standard-grade potions of rising force, ninety drakes..." I overheard, and was quite tempted to smack my forehead for being such a fool.
What had I been thinking? Of course Ajira would have other duties than to experiment with a newcomer to the guild. Balmora was quite large, she was the only alchemist in the only mages' guild, obviously a lot of her time would be eaten up with selling potions to the townsfolk.
Which left me at somewhat loose ends.
I looked around the room, hoping that I could ask one of the other members whether they had something for me to do. Marayn was engrossed in showing a Dunmer girl how to form a fireball. Sharn gra-Muzgrob was taking notes on a book, with a scowl on her face that promised dire retribution on anyone who interrupted her. Merrylice, I mean, the Breton was busy... I stared into her corner, trying to figure out what was going on.
There was a queue of people leading up to her. One by one, they would step onto the raised stone platform, coins exchanged hands, she would close her eyes in deep concentration and cast a spell, then they'd vanish. I'd heard people talk about a Mages Guild teleportation service before - apparently they had one here. Well, either that or she had a good racket running with a local suicide cult. But I couldn't believe this place was so dreadful to make that many people want to end their lives - if only because I was living here now myself and I had to keep myself upbeat somehow.
Anyway, although I was highly curious as to how this teleportation thing worked exactly - judging by the hand gestures it was a Mysticism-based spell, and that was the area of magic I was most interested in - several minutes of watching Lassimine did not give me any grand insights. In fact, since it's not possible to work out the structure of a spell from the casting, the only insight I gained was that even such an extraordinary sight as people disappearing into and appearing from the aether gets remarkably boring after a while.
That left Estirdalin.
I decided I'd wait until Ajira had a spare moment. Maybe grab one of the books on the nearby table to read...
"Friend Adryn!"
Or maybe I didn't have to wait that long.
I walked over to Ajira, who seemed to have hit a lull in her stream of customers. "I see you're busy today." I tried very hard to keep an injured tone from creeping into my voice.
"Ajira is very sorry," the Khajiit said, whiskers drooping. "But she closed the shop most of yesterday to do experiments with friend Adryn, so today she must be very busy, sell many potions, to make up for it." Now she was making me feel guilty. "And when she is done, she must write the report on the mushrooms, which is a very bori- very simple task, too simple to trifle friend Adryn with." I hid a smile. "So Ajira cannot do any experiments today, even though she very much wishes to."
"Don't worry, I completely understand," I assured her, then added plaintively, "...do you have any ideas what I can do today, then?"
Ajira's eyes brightened. "Actually, it is good that you ask. The honoured Ranis Athrys came by earlier, said that Ajira needs to write two reports instead of just one to be considered for journeyman as she is working with a partner."
"I'm really sorry about that," I said, wincing.
She waved it off. "It is much more interesting and much faster progress with a partner, so I do not mind so much. However, second report is to be on four types of flowers, and Ajira needs samples of those flowers. They are called gold kanet, stoneflower, heather and willow, and they grow in many places. Closest to here is on shores of Lake Amaya, to the east."
I gulped as what Ajira was asking me to do became apparent. "Uh, are you sure about this? There isn't anything I could do within town?" I sighed as Ajira cast a pleading look at me. "It's not that I want your project to fail, it's just that I don't want to be eaten by the wildlife-"
"Oh, but the regions are quite safe!" Ajira protested. "There is an Imperial fort along the path," she wasn't really selling this, "and a shrine on Lake Amaya, so Temple makes certain that roads are safe for pilgrims. And it is not far from Balmora, so there should be people. And when friend Adryn returns with the flowers, we can experiment with them to-"
"All right, all right!" I interrupted her. (No, I do not lose any vestige of common sense upon hearing the word "experiment". Why do you ask?) "I'll do it! What do these flowers look like, and how do I get to Lake Amaya?"
As Ajira wrote down some directions on a sheet of paper for me, I had to suppress a groan - after all that time hunting down lost shoes, I'd have to get changed yet again. Embroidered robes were, after all, not quite the thing in which to be wandering around the wilderness.
And so a short time later I found myself at the gate to Balmora, in the same scratchy, ill-fitting clothes I'd been so glad to get out of yesterday, Elone's shortsword at my side. I groaned quietly to myself when I realised that it hadn't even been two days since I entered the place. I'd really hoped to be able to stay in town for longer; adventuring is not my idea of a good time. I claim the problem is too much sanity, although some people would disagree with that, and a distinct lack of appreciation for pain, gaping wounds, and near-death experiences.
As I made my way through the gate, I eyed the silt strider cautiously; Darvame had assured me that they weren't dangerous on the trip from Seyda Neen, but I was skeptical. What, exactly, is a flea that size meant to eat? Trees? Swamp muck? Given that fleas the usual size generally live off blood, people seemed the number one possibility to me, all protestations of their handlers to the contrary. Undoubtedly they were trying to avoid bad publicity; after all, who would ever be mad enough to pay to ride on one if it might see you as a portable snack?
I looked at the road rising sharply into the mountains, remembered the gentle, swaying movement I'd experienced the day before last - had it really only been two days ago? - and admitted that they had at least one person. My legs, still weakened from prison, were stubbornly informing me that they'd happily run the risk of being flea food if it meant they'd get to rest a bit longer.
See, this is what comes of leaving your body parts independence. Popular vote.
My apparent lack of any instinct for self-preservation (for instance, "not hitching a ride on something that may think you are their lunch") wasn't going to be put to the test anytime soon, though. Before heading onto the road I'd asked Selvil Sareloth, the silt strider operator in Balmora, about his destinations - it pays to familiarise yourself with the quickest ways of leaving a place. Apparently he wasn't leaving for over an hour and then going north to some place called "Ald'ruhn", which apparently didn't sport the kind of flora I was looking for. (Well, Selvil didn't say "no" when I asked. But then again, he didn't say "yes" either. In fact, he didn't say anything at all as he was laughing too hard to talk; I cleverly deduced that Ajira's flowers did not grow in Ald'ruhn.) If I wanted to go anywhere near Lake Amaya, I'd have to wait until Darvame's noon trip back to Seyda Neen. Oh, and somehow get from a twenty-foot-tall moving insect to the ground without breaking all the bones in my body as she didn't stop until Seyda Neen either. Minor considerations like that.
I sighed, ignored the complaints from my legs and started walking. The silt strider was kind enough not to eat me; I nodded gratefully to it as I passed.
A few hours later, I'd got into my stride, my legs had given up complaining in favour of a grumble every now and then, and things didn't seem nearly that bad. After all, I was well-rested, well-fed, heading into the wilds with a sack full of empty reagent vials to find new, wild, untested ingredients - this last bit might not have been strictly true, but they were untested by me and that was the important part.
True, the trip had been somewhat unpleasant for a while as my device for fooling people into thinking I was actually dangerous, also known as a shortsword, kept working its way between my legs and tripped me several times. Finally, I decided to take it off my belt and strap it to my back instead and the trip immediately became much more comfortable. Of course, I suspected it wasn't anatomically possible for me to draw it from that angle, but it looked reasonably intimidating (reminding me vaguely of a drawing of Tiber Septim I'd once seen in a history book) and since I'd never actually use it for fear of slicing off my own limbs, who cared?
The road was just emerging into green lands from the foyada, I could see aforementioned untested ingredients winking at me - the sun was even shining! Why, I was almost enjoying myself!
"You there!"
Here is a helpful tip for anyone exploring the wilds: never, ever start enjoying yourself. It invites trouble.
In this case, trouble came in the form of an old Dunmer woman standing a distance along the path, glaring at me.
"You! Outlander! Come here!"
Outlander?! I was thirty feet away from her and hadn't even opened my mouth! Did I have a sign saying "Not a native, please torment at will" hanging over my head or something?
I looked up. No sign.
"Are you deaf?"
Given that the woman didn't seem as if she was going to stop haranguing me anytime soon, I sighed and made my way towards her.
"Well, finally," the woman snapped. Up close, I realised that she wasn't actually that old, but her glare and pinched expression easily added several centuries to her apparent age. Also, she was wearing rough, homespun clothes - an odd contrast to her manner, which seemed better suited to a noble.
"I demand you take me to the fields of Kummu at once!"
As I was saying.
...wait, what did she just say?
"Fields of what?" I asked, puzzled.
The woman sniffed loudly. "I do not repeat myself, outlander."
"Well, how on earth am I supposed to know where the fields of Konni are?" I asked, exasperated.
"Kummu." I wondered whether to be helpful and point out that she had, in fact, just repeated herself, but decided against it. It would probably be best to prevent the situation from deteriorating. Even more, that was. "Even someone such as you should have heard of the shrine at Kummu, where the great god Vivec helped a poor farmer who had lost his guar-"
"Look, I only landed two days ago!" I snapped. "How do you expect me to know all this? I thought Vivec was a city." Although come to think of it, as the name of a person it did seem vaguely familiar; I'd probably run across the guy in a book somewhere and then forgotten.
She looked at me as though I had turned into a bug- correction. She looked at me as if I had turned into a bug that was even more loathsome than the bug I had been previously. "N'wah." It was clearly some kind of insult. "The holy city of Vivec is, of course, named after the great god Vivec who is a member of the divine Almsivi, the-"
And she was off on a lecture about religion. As you can probably imagine, it wasn't exactly in accord with the Imperial Standards for Teaching, the ratio of information to ranting not quite being what it should. Still, the few scraps of information among the insults made me curious about this whole Temple business - for instance, apparently the city of Vivec was named after the god Vivec because he actually lived there. And not "lived there" like the Cult will tell you the Aedra live in their temples - actually had a body, wandered around, slept, ate and breathed, could be spoken to lived there. (Well, theoretically spoken to - I don't doubt that if I showed up at the door to his house the guards would remove me rather quickly.) At any rate, the whole business sounded far more interesting than the Nine Divines.
I decided that when I was back in Balmora I'd try to find a book or something to learn about this local religion, as this would undoubtedly be more informative and with a lesser chance of getting your nose bitten off than listening to the madwoman here.
"...outlanders who haven't even heard of Vivec!" said madwoman was winding down. "Now how am I supposed to get to the shrine?" She gave me a look as if I was now a loathsome bug who was entirely to blame for the situation she was in, which I found rather unfair.
"How were you planning to get to the shrine before you started accosting innocent passerby?" I demanded.
"I have a map," she responded loftily, drawing out a piece of parchment from her pouch. "However, it is entirely useless. The worthless trader that sold it to me should be taken out and beaten."
I peered at the map she was unfolding curiously, then blinked.
"Um. You're holding it upside-down."
"Nonsense!" she spat. "I'll let you know that my best friend is a renowned cartographer!"
"Look, I don't care who your friends are, you're still holding it upside-down! See," my finger stabbed at the parchment, "this says 'Balmora', at least it does from my perspective, but the way you're looking at it-"
"You are an illiterate barbarian; that is Tel Vos, in the Telvanni district in the far northeast."
I looked at the map again. "Nooo, I am quite sure I can read and that says 'Balmora'. See? B-A-L-M-O-R-A. Tel Vos-" my eyes searched the opposite corner of the map, "is over here." The madwoman started to splutter. I ignored her. "Also, if this is Balmora, and this is Lake Amaya, then we are currently here-" I pointed at a spot on the map just south of where the path left the foyada, "and since the Fields of Kummu are there, all you need to do is follow the path around the lake for a while to get there."
I'd say I was being kind, generous and helpful because I was simply a much better person than she was, but to be honest I really just wanted to rub her nose in her utter incompetence.
"Excellent. Then you will guide me there."
Note to self: Revenge never pays.
"Excuse me? When did I ever agree to this?"
I didn't realise bug-me could get more loathsome, but apparently I could. "A true Dunmer would be honoured to assist. Since you are an outlander, however..." she grimaced. "I suppose I must reward you."
My ears perked up when I heard the word "reward". (Not literally, mind. They may be large and pointed, but I am still not a Khajiit.) My purse had become much lighter yesterday, and I was uncomfortably aware that I would probably be expected to move out of the Guildhall at some point, never to mention pay for my food. I needed to find income somehow.
Besides, the shrine was only a short distance away. Surely it couldn't be that bad.
"Well, in that case..." I turned around and set off down the path.
It was that bad.
She was slow. She complained about how slow I was while she lagged behind, and berated me for laziness when I stopped to let her catch up. And when I spotted some of the flowers Ajira had asked me to bring back and tried to pick some, she almost bit my head off.
"Outlander girls! Sitting and plucking flowers when a poor old woman is relying on them to complete her pilgrimage! No doubt you're planning to seduce some innocent young man-"
"I'm an alchemist!" I exclaimed, outraged. "I'm collecting ingredients for research!"
"A likely story," the horrible old woman hmphed. "I've heard the tales, you know - a bouquet of gold kanet flowers to the poor boy's parents once you've convinced him to run off with you. No, there will be no, no flower-picking on this journey."
"You know, I agreed to be your guide, not your slave, so if you would stop ordering me around-"
"Pity, that. If you were my slave, I could beat some manners into you as you deserve. The ones on the plantation are very courteous."
Wait.
Wait, I couldn't possibly have heard that correctly.
"What do you mean, slaves on the plantation?" I asked weakly.
"Oh, did you think I simply sat about doing nothing all day, as if I were some worthless frill like you? No, I work for my living - I am a housekeeper at the Dren plantation," she said proudly.
"Look, I don't care where you work - do you mean that slavery is legal here?"
"Of course it is. Even the Empire could not touch our ancient ways-"
And she was prattling on again while I stared weakly at the gold kanet flowers at the wayside and swallowed to keep myself from being sick.
Slavery. Legal.
Somehow, this made me realise like nothing before - not the giant fleas, or the strange flora (were those actually giant mushrooms in place of trees?), or the apparent insanity of the Empire's officials which ranged from giving me money to inducting me into the Blades - that I was now in an alien country very, very far from anything and anyone I'd ever known before.
Given the route my thoughts were taking, it was probably a good thing that I spotted a triangular stone that looked vaguely shrine-like (it was gold and had something engraved on it) along the path at that point. I only have a small monthly allotment for melodrama, you see, and the way my thoughts were going I'd spend all of it on agonising about laws I couldn't change - very foolish, given that the universe hates me (I have ample evidence of this) and therefore I was bound to need it urgently later.
"Is that the shrine?" I asked, pointing.
"Of course it's not, you foolish girl!" the woman I was rapidly growing ashamed of sharing a species with snapped. Without, I would like to point out, bothering to turn around to look. "The shrine is a triangular golden stone surrounded by flowers-"
"-like the one in front of us?" I said through gritted teeth. "Could you at least look at what I'm pointing at before you start hounding me?"
Wonder of wonders, she actually did. "Why, it is the shrine! It must have been Almalexia's hand that led me here despite my guide's... shortcomings. I am certain you would have walked right past otherwise." Ignoring the outraged noises I was letting out, she walked over to the shrine, took something that looked rather like mud out of her pouch, then laid it in front of the shrine as she knelt and started to pray.
"Thank you for your humility, Lord Vivec. I-"
I couldn't help it. I started laughing.
Well, I said laughing. Truth be told, it started with a choked giggle that made its way out of my mouth despite all my efforts to frantically suppress it, then grew to the kind of hysterical cackle where you start to turn purplish grey from lack of air and need to hold onto solid objects in your vicinity (I chose a tree) lest you fall over.
She whirled around. If people could cast shockball with their eyes, I would have been a sparking pile of dust that moment. "What is the meaning of this outrageous behaviour?!"
"Humility." I managed to choke out. "Been berating me... the whole way... making yourself out... so much better... and you pray for... humility?" Then I collapsed back into laughter.
"Your services are no longer required," she snapped icily. "You may go."
"Wait a minute," I said, slowly getting back into control of myself. "What about my reward?"
"Reward? Oh, yes, your...reward." She threw something at me; I caught it instinctively, looked at it, then felt every impulse I'd had to laugh die a sudden death.
It was the map.
The map that she'd probably got off a street vendor for two drakes.
"You found it so helpful, after all." She smiled at me. It was a horrible sight.
I gaped at her, mouth opening and shutting wordlessly.
Her smile grew wider. "Run along now, outlander."
What could I do? My moral compass may be a bit... awry... as some fetcher once put it, but I still draw the line at robbing old women. Even if they're clearly the spawn of Molag Bal.
I turned around and stalked off. Even the sound of the horrible fiend from Oblivion saying "I shall neither strut nor preen in vanity..." was no longer the slightest bit amusing.
Once I'd got myself well out of sight, I found a handy rock overlooking the shore, sat down on it and indulged in some well-deserved fuming. All right, I admit it, there may have been some sulking involved in between. And some rocks thrown into the lake, although I did manage to keep myself from throwing the map in too. I'd like to say it was because reason prevailed, but truthfully it was because one of my rocks hit a mudcrab, forcing me to relocate until it had calmed down, and after that I decided that I had best leave the scenery alone.
After all the wildlife had gone back to its business, I had finished fuming and Adryn's First Law of Adventuring (ask about the reward before you accept the task) had been formulated, I considered doing what I had actually come here for, namely pick flowers; it was already well into the afternoon and my reagent vials were still yawningly empty.
Of course, as always the universe took me thinking "maybe I should actually do what I set out to do" as a signal to interrupt. In this case, the interruption took the form of a panicking Bosmer.
The Bosmer are Wood Elves, meaning that however tiny and unprepossessing they seem their abilities in the wilderness are unmatched by any of the other races. This explains why the first I noticed of him was when he burst out from a copse of trees nearby. It was obviously nothing to do with my not paying attention; the very suggestion is preposterous.
Anyway, due to said Bosmer's phenomenal ability at moving through woods undetected, he startled me rather badly. If I were a great warrior, I might have leapt up and instinctively slain him. Luckily for him, but unluckily for me, I am not a great warrior; I leapt up, discovered my shortsword had somehow come loose and worked its way through my legs again contrary to all the laws of nature that I knew of, and fell flat on my face.
Ow.
The Bosmer stopped panicking for a moment to ask "Are you all right?"
He interpreted the pained sounds I made as "no, I am perfectly fine, don't offer to help me up or anything like that," and started running around in circles babbling hysterically.
"-only suggested we come out here for a walk, but then he heard these noises in the underbrush and he's always been far too curious for his own good, I told him I told him to leave it alone but he just had to investigate and now he's gone-"
"Wha-?" I mumbled as I sat up and carefully probed my nose.
"-this is what comes of becoming a mage, not enough common sense to fill a spoon in the whole guild-"
"Whu?" My nose was still in one piece. Good; I didn't think the Jiub look would suit me.
"-what am I going to do without him-"
My imagination chose that moment to helpfully illustrate 'me with the Jiub look'. "Ack! Horrible mental images!" I yelped. The result looked more like our twisted lovechild - and the mental image that idea invoked made me seriously consider applying my Firebite spell to my own eyeballs.
The Bosmer stopped abruptly. "What?"
"What?" I responded.
"What did you mean by 'horrible mental images?'" I'm just going to point out here that it's a good thing I'm well aware that telepathy spells do not exist (or rather, if they do they're in the hands of great mages and not hysterical Bosmer) and therefore I knew he could not possibly have known what I'd just been thinking. It saved him from a horrible messy fate.
"Nothing," I said. "What were you talking about? Who went missing?" Seeing him look ready to start running around again, I reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "Please stand still while talking, and don't use more than two commas in one sentence."
"It's horrible!" he wailed. "My friend Edras and I were out exploring. I'm from Pelagiad, but he's from Almalexia on the mainland so he doesn't really appreciate the hazards the way I do. When we heard strange noises in the underbrush, he wanted to investigate. I told him and told him, don't do it it's too dangerous, but he insisted and-" he correctly interpreted my stare as 'I can tell there is another comma coming up in that sentence' and paused. "He went off on his own anyway. And didn't come back! He's gone!"
The mer burst into tears. For one horrible moment I thought he was going to fling himself into my arms - as prevention, I gingerly propped him up against a nearby tree and stepped back to a safe distance.
Luckily, he seemed to compose himself reasonably quickly, sobs trailing off into just a few sniffles as he wiped at his eyes.
"I want to look for him, but it's- it's- I don't know what kind of creatures could be out there!" he sniffled. "Would you please help me find him?"
Staring at his tear-streaked face, I considered both Adryn's First Law of Adventuring and Adryn's First Law of Self-Preservation (do not do things like this). His height, soulful eyes and the way the snot was leaking out of his nose made him look rather like an upset little kid.
I sighed and mentally discarded both laws. "Okay, where was the last place you saw him?"
I'd say the way his face lit up was reward enough, but that would be a flat-out lie. You may find snot-covered Bosmer appealing, but if you do, I don't want to know.
Oh well. I was sure it wouldn't be that dangerous.
I nervously picked my way through the underbrush, and wondered what on earth had possessed me. (Possibly literally.) Since when did I do things out of the goodness of my heart? Since when did I not even ask for a reward? And since when did I think things like "it won't be that dangerous", when past experience should have told me that the universe takes things like that as an invitation?
Thoronor, as the Bosmer had introduced himself, had led me to the spot he'd left his friend and then mysteriously disappeared himself - "help me find him," my foot. "Do all the work for me while I take a nap somewhere," more likely. Which left me to look for strange noises and vanished mer alone, helpless and undefended-
I lost my train of thought when I stumbled over something on the ground, only just managing to catch myself against a tree. Luckily so, or else I would have fallen flat on my nose yet again, and I didn't feel like chancing the Jiub look don'tthinkaboutit-
I looked down to see what I'd tripped over, then blinked in surprise. It was a book, looking undamaged enough that I knew it couldn't have lain there long.
Thoronor had said something about his friend being a scholar, hadn't he? I admit I hadn't expected him to leave a trail of books behind, but it was certainly better than trying to use my (nonexistent) tracking skills. Never to mention that a scholar surely wouldn't miss one or two, and I was sorely in need of bedtime reading...
I picked the book up and looked at the front page.
"Mating habits of the wild kagouti?" I read out, puzzled.
"Oh yes, it's my thesis topic," a voice rang out from above me. I jumped about a foot, feeling as if someone had just hit me with a Spark spell. "For the Mages' Guild back home, don't you know. Um, I'm up here by the way."
I looked up and saw... a Dunmer in a tree. Which is, frankly, not a sight you see every day - Dunmer being somewhat conservative when it comes to precarious perches an unhealthy height above the ground as a rule. Definitely moreso than Bosmer... maybe his friend was rubbing off on him?
"Of course, when my friend Thoronor extended an invitation to visit him here in Morrowind, how could I possibly pass up the opportunity to see them in the wild!" the nesting mer - Edras, apparently - gushed.
At that moment, a horrible suspicion entered my mind. It was spurred by my brain helpfully choosing to remind me that I'd been tree-bound just a few days ago, after I'd climbed one to escape an E.R.D. near Seyda Neen.
"What exactly are kagouti?" I asked slowly.
"They're one of the species of animal native to Morrowind, particularly valued for their hide. They're predators, and apparently one of the most dangerous indigenous creatures here, although I admit I'd underestimated just how ferocious they are - that's why I'm up here." Edras cast down his eyes in embarrassment.
"You're hiding from dangerous wildlife and you didn't tell me earlier?!" my voice rose into a screech.
He looked puzzled. "But I'm just a simple scholar - you can clearly defend yourself."
It occurred to me that my "wear weapons to look dangerous and not be attacked by bandits" plan had just a few drawbacks I hadn't considered.
I was just about to angrily inform him that actually, the weapons were just for show, I was only armed with a lousy Firebite spell I'd never even used before and he shouldn't assume people he'd just met had no problems defending themselves from rampaging carnivores - preferably after finding a tree to hide in myself. Unfortunately, he rudely decided to spoil all my plans by saying, "Look! There's one now!"
Have you ever had one of those moments where you can almost hear the gods laughing at you?
Slowly and carefully, I lowered my gaze from the mer in the tree back down to the ground (which I was starting to realise it never should have left.) And swallowed. Hard.
And I'd thought the E.R.D.s were bad - it looked as if they might be among the most harmless creatures this island had to offer. Certainly the smallest! Apparently a "kagouti" was a two-legged creature, with some sort of bone frill. And tusks. And teeth. Sharp teeth. Oh, and did I mention that it was almost as big as I was? Because it was almost as big as I was. This one was looking at me in a very disturbing way, and by "very disturbing" I mean "seems to be wondering how I taste". It was also between me and the nearest tree.
"Um. Nice... horned monster thing, very nice horned monster thing. You don't want to eat me, do you? I don't taste very good." Staring into its beady black eyes, I added, "Tell me how to get this thing to back down. Now."
"Well," came from the tree, "kagouti are very territorial, and will attack anyone who ventures near them." Okay. That was bad. "They also become far more aggressive when mating." Okay, that was very bad. "And kagouti interpret eye contact as a challenge." Okay, that was- wait a moment.
"You couldn't have told me that earlier?!" I yelped, tearing my gaze away from the kagouti's eyes.
It chose that moment to charge.
Cursing loudly, I leapt out of the way barely in time; the kagouti barrelled past me and slammed into the tree, which shook and then disgorged a shrieking scholar. I mentally winced when he hit the ground, but it wasn't that far and judging by the way he tried to sit up almost immediately after he clearly hadn't hurt anything important. Probably just his brain.
The kagouti backed away from the tree and looked back and forth between the two of us, puzzled - apparently two enemies were too much for its tiny brain to deal with. However, despite all my mental urging it seemed it considered me the greater threat; it turned towards me, let out a roaring sound and charged.
At this point, I have to admit something. Contrary to the way I grumble about my birth-sign, I am actually quite happy to be Lover-born rather than Lady. True, I do tend to get a lot of snide remarks and comments on "elven promiscuity" if I let it slip, not to forget the crass propositions, how could I forget the crass propositions. However, our birth-signs have more influence over our lives than just how people react to them, and there is one gift of the Lover that is, frankly, a lot more useful than anything the Lady has to offer in a tight spot.
It was that gift I remembered at that moment. As the kagouti barrelled towards me, I concentrated and reached deep inside me for that power. Closer - I extended one hand - closer-
Just before the beast touched me, I willed it out. Green light spilled out from my hand, over the kagouti, which froze instantly.
Paralysis is such a handy effect.
I breathed a sigh of relief as the threat of horribly painful death was postponed, then suddenly remembered that the Lover's gift is a two-edged sword.
It felt as if all my energy had decided to run into the kagouti as well. My knees grew weak, my vision dark around the edges, I started to waver on my feet-
As if from a far distance, I heard Edras shout, "you did it! You killed it!" Then, more subdued, "...my observations..."
I hazily wondered whether the mer had honestly been so sheltered that he had never seen a dead creature before.
"No," I managed to say, struggling against the fog that was engulfing me. "Not dead... you fool... kill it!"
The mer stared at me in confusion as my knees gave way.
"Kill... it..."
I could see when the fact that no, the kagouti was perfectly fine, just temporarily inconvenienced, sunk in. His skin turned greyish-green, and his mouth opened in a round O.
And then he turned around and ran away.
This was going to be such a humiliating way to die, I realised as I felt myself dragged into unconsciousness. I just hoped that once the kagouti was done with me, it would continue its murderous rampage and kill the cowardly mer, the damnable Bosmer who'd got me into this, that horrible old woman, and anyone else near the lake for good measure...
Darkness.
Chapter 4: Chapter Four
Chapter Text
When I came to, I quickly wished I hadn't. My body felt as if I had just run twenty miles without stopping. Up a mountain. With lead weights strapped to my limbs. While being chased by angry Imperial guards, who were possibly riding kagouti. (Could you ride kagouti? It might explain why I hadn't seen any horses here yet; either the native mounts all ate them or the native people connected 'riding' with 'being eaten', which would give even the most enthusiastic horsemer caution.)
Anyway, apparently I wasn't dead. I didn't think dead people were supposed to feel so tired.
I groaned and slowly, with a superhuman amount of effort, cracked open my eyelids.
Scratch that. Apparently I was dead.
Giant humanoid insects weren't part of life as I knew it, at any rate.
I was too tired to sit up let alone run for my - life? Unlife? Being dead was becoming metaphysically quite complicated - despite the fact that every instinct of self-preservation I had and a few I didn't were screaming at me to get out of there now! Instead, I just twitched feebly and tried to scream. It came out as more of a croak.
"Oh, you're awake!" the probable Daedra said. Bizarrely enough, it had a perfectly ordinary-sounding female voice in what I was coming to think of as a Morrowind accent.
"Don't kill me!" I wheezed, deciding to postpone further metaphysical ruminations until I was no longer in danger of being...
I stared at the Daedra and really wished I didn't have such a good imagination. Or vivid, for that matter.
"Kill you?" the Daedra repeated, sounding bemused.
"Or-" Really, really wished. "Or whatever it is giant man-shaped insect Daedra do."
"I- ah. Um." It sounded as if it was trying to suppress laughter. "I guess you've never seen chitin armour before?" It reached up to its head and pulled-
Oh.
Apparently the native inhabitants thought armour made of giant insect shell complete with closed-face helmet that would not have been out of place on Mad Pelagius, or possibly in Oblivion, was an absolutely wonderful idea.
I took stock of my situation.
I wasn't dead after all. This was probably a good thing, but right at this moment I really didn't think so.
"Kill me now," I mumbled.
"Well, you've changed your tune, haven't you?" the Dunmer that had surfaced said with a grin. She looked slightly older than me and was quite pretty, with long black hair gathered in two braids. Or, to summarise: she did not look like a Daedra or a giant insect in any way, shape or form. "Don't worry, I'll blame it on the exhaustion. Speaking of which-"
A potion was held under my nose. "Here, drink this."
I sniffed at it.
"It's a fatigue restoring potion, completely harmless. Really, make up your mind, will you? Just a second ago you were begging me to kill you. Although if I'd wanted to kill you I had ample opportunity when you were asleep." She sounded affronted.
"I realised that." I hadn't, actually, and quickly drank the potion before she could question me about it. The rush of energy was very, very welcome.
"I didn't think you were going to poison me," I added once I'd regained my breath. "I'm an alchemist, and if I were to drink a potion without even trying to figure out what was in it I would have to turn in my mortar and pestle. It's a matter of professional pride."
"No need to explain. Most of my family are alchemists, I'm familiar with the mindset." She looked me up and down. "Are you feeling all right now? I can give you a second potion if you need it."
"No, I'm fine." My body still felt a little trembly and weak, but I knew from experience that that would have to pass on its own. (I briefly mourned the fact that I had had to use that often enough that I had experience in the stages of recovery.)
I sat up and looked around. The threat of immediate death by insect Daedra, and then mortification at having mistaken someone for an insect Daedra and told them so, had completely distracted me from my surroundings.
Dusk had fallen in the time I was out. I was sitting on the ground with a blanket wrapped around me. It looked as though I was still in the clearing where I had faced the kagouti, except that the clearing was minus a paralysed kagouti and plus a non-Daedra Dunmer and a campfire with several pieces of meat roasting over it.
...actually, I thought I could guess what had happened to the kagouti.
Which still didn't explain who the not-an-insect-at-all Dunmer was or why I wasn't dead.
"Who are you?" When in doubt, ask, has always been my motto in life. Certain unkind people would have you believe this should be followed by 'and ask as bluntly as possible. Tact is for other people'. They would of course be lying through their teeth. After all, I only very rarely have to run for my life after using this, which should tell you how well it works.
"My name is Ervesa Romandas, and I'm a Buoyant Armiger." By the proud and slightly self-important look on her face, I knew she thought that should mean something to me.
"You're a... weapon that floats?" I hazarded.
Ervesa stared at me, then threw back her head and started laughing.
"I take it that means no," I said as I waited for her laughter to subside. I had to admit, I felt rather injured. It was a perfectly logical conclusion to come to, given the meaning of those words.
"N-no, I'm not a- weapon that floats," she managed between giggles. "The Buoyant Armigers are the elite warriors of the lord Vivec. We try to emulate his virtues of chivalry, combat and poetic mastery. Most of us are stationed at Ghostgate these days, but we also have a hall in Molag Mar, primarily for training and guarding the pilgrims at Mount Kand."
Half of those words hadn't meant anything to me, but the other half made them sound as if they were a cross between Imperial Knights without the Imperial part, religious warriors and bards. Since all three were on my 'avoid at all costs, it might be contagious' list, the combination could not possibly mean anything good.
"Well, in that case you should call yourselves 'Elite Temple warriors who also compose poetry' or something. 'Buoyant' makes you sound like you're, I don't know, some sort of boats," I pointed out while trying to inch away unobtrusively.
This made her start laughing again. I bristled - I'd only been pointing out a fact, after all. "It isn't that funny!" Maybe this was one of the signs of the mental instability inherent in the religious bardic knight combination. Although considering I'd been expecting something more along the lines of attempted stabbing while singing hymns, I could live with uncontrollable laughter.
Ervesa grinned. "It is, actually. I'll have to tell the others when I get to Ghostgate. But just so you know, the name was given to us by the lord Vivec. He founded our order from a group who gave him unexpected aid in battle, one where he was impressed by their courage and cheer."
I considered saying that this Vivec couldn't be that good a poet if he thought 'Buoyant Armigers' was a good name for anything other than bathtub toys, let alone an elite force of warriors. A small voice in my head pointed out that insulting the god of a dedicated religious knight would probably not go over very well, easygoing though she'd been so far. For once, I listened to it - bluntness is all well and good, but it's best to avoid mortally offending people in possession of sharp objects and the knowledge of how to use them. My track record in this regard wasn't the best, admittedly, but this was a fresh start. I had resolutions.
Ervesa moved over to the fire and took out the chunks of meat. "I think these are about done. Are you-"
My stomach chose that moment to proclaim that actually, I'd neglected to take lunch with me and hadn't eaten since breakfast and that it did not hold with these sorts of shenanigans, thank you very much. Loudly. I glared at it. I'd had enough bodily rebellion for one day, thank you very much.
"Here, have two." Ervesa seemed to be suppressing a grin. I was tempted to scowl at her, but found my attention irresistably drawn to the sizzling haunches of meat she held out to me. My stomach's, as well. I silently thanked Dunmer heat resistance as I reached out to take them.
The meat tasted... not bad, I decided, except that it would taste much better if it were actually possible to chew it. The stuff had roughly the consistency of old boot. (And no, I don't care to explain how I know that.)
Ervesa must have read my thoughts - which were along the lines of of 'you call this food?' - off my face because she started chattering. "Roast kagouti isn't exactly the best food, I'm afraid. Too tough. Crab, guar or rat meat is what you usually get, or sometimes nix-hound - but since we happened to have dead kagouti lying around, well. Just be thankful it isn't alit. That's something you don't want to have to eat twice."
I noted with a sinking feeling that apparently this island had even more wildlife. Crabs, E.R.D.s and kagouti had seemed quite enough to put any travellers in fear of their lives. Once I got back to Balmora, I was not leaving that city again and I didn't care about anything Ajira said regarding wonderful fascinating untested flora... alchemy... experiments...
Where was I?
Oh, right, kagouti 'meat'. "Don't worry, this can be my revenge on it for trying to eat me," I said once I'd managed to choke down the first bite. "After all, revenge is so much sweeter when it's slow and painful. I mean, I take it this is the same kagouti as the one..." I tried to think of a way to say 'I fainted in front of' that didn't sound completely pathetic.
Ervesa nodded. "It's lucky for you I came along, really. A Bosmer had sent me this way, said he was looking for his friend and that he didn't think the girl he'd sent was quite up to the job." My cheeks flushed in humiliation. The fact that it was so undeniably accurate made it worse - after all, I quite enjoy deluding myself about my capabilities. "Then his friend ran past me screaming, so I thought I'd better see what was going on. Found a paralysed kagouti and you unconscious on the ground in front of it." She raised an eyebrow.
"Um. Well." I usually try not to talk about my birth-sign ability. Not that it's exactly a secret that the Lover-born can paralyse you (at the cost of any and all of your energy, but somehow that being a bad thing only really sinks in on your third day of bed-rest) but it's both something people tend to forget about and something that can be very handy in a tight spot.
And, of course, I try not to let on I'm Lover-born at all. You see, once people find out I'm Lover-born the lewd comments about dark elven promiscuity start, and then I have to tell them I'd rather kiss a dead kagouti (well, the Imperial equivalent) and although they did look very similar to one the kagouti smelled so much better I could never get them confused, and... well. It usually ends in tears, and sometimes in fireballs.
Whoever gives names to these things doesn't help, I should add - the paralysation ability is called the 'Lover's Kiss.' I ask you!
Of course, it was a bit difficult to pretend to be Lady-born after someone saw you in the aftermath. Even the fake birthdate I'd picked couldn't save me.
"Born under the Lover, I take it?" Ervesa asked. It was clearly meant to be rhetorical, but I nodded reluctantly anyway. "I thought I recognised the signs. One of my comrades in training was as well. She once used it on me in a practice duel."
I winced. "I take it you won, then."
"Actually, our instructor decided that we both lost. He wasn't very impressed. He said that before she woke up or I could move again we'd have both been killed by our surroundings."
Somehow, given what I'd experienced of the wildlife here so far, that really didn't surprise me.
"Anyway," Ervesa continued, "I killed the kagouti before the paralysis worse off, then its mate when it attacked as well." Wait, there had been a second one of those things out there? And it hadn't killed any of the people that I'd encountered earlier? Life really wasn't fair. "Nothing particularly unusual, really. I'm more curious as to how an outlander with no combat skills whatsoever ended up trying to fend off wild kagouti near Lake Amaya."
The words were cutting but the tone wasn't, and faced with the first sympathetic listener I'd encountered that whole cursed day I found myself blinking back tears. "All I wanted to do was pick flowers." My voice most emphatically did not sound like a wail, I told myself.
"Flowers?"
I nodded. "I'm a member of the Mages Guild in Balmora." I paused for a moment - it was the first time I'd said those words out loud. I liked the way it made me sound practically important, and decided not to add 'as of yesterday'. "One of the other guild members asked me to gather flowers near the lake for experimentation - alchemy, you know. And then..."
The whole story came pouring out, from the horrible tyrant old woman where I wouldn't have been in the slightest surprised to find out she was a giant insect Daedra in disguise, to the Bosmer and my taking temporary leave of my senses when agreeing to find his friend, to the kagouti stand-off in which I heroically gave everything I had to incapitate the kagouti only to have the person I was trying to save run away and leave me to certain death, the traitor.
Ervesa frowned. "Scholar or no scholar, anyone should be able to kill a kagouti if it's not going to be moving for a full minute. That was a very cowardly thing to do." She sounded coldly disapproving, and I suddenly remembered that my rescuer was actually a knight - well, vaguely knight-like being that possibly floated - and therefore probably put a lot of stock into the whole honour and chivalry and so on and so forth nonsense. Knights do that sort of thing. I'd always theorised that the steel in their helmets alchemically reacts with their hair to form an intelligence-reducing potion, but now that giant insect armour had entered the picture I would probably need to adjust that a little. Maybe the different material accounted for the songs and poetry?
I found this a fascinating train of thought and would have pursued it for a while, but I noticed Ervesa was still talking and resumed listening sheepishly.
"-better spells and weapons if you want to do any more exploring." Apparently I hadn't missed much, since by the words and scolding tone I guessed she was telling me off for wandering about totally defenseless and my brain had been doing more than enough of that already, thank you, random outsiders need not weigh in. Even if they had just saved my life.
Besides...
"To be honest, I think I've done all the exploring I can handle. I'm looking forward to getting back to Balmora and never leaving again." Dreamily, I thought about what awaited me in Balmora. An alchemy apparatus... a bed... food that was actually edible... a distinct lack of wildlife...
"Really? But you haven't picked your flowers yet."
That brought me back to earth quite forcefully. "Oh no." I thought for a moment while licking the last of the roast kagouti off my fingers. It really wasn't that bad once you got used to the texture. "You know, I think these flowers really don't want me to pick them. I mean, look at what's happened every time I tried. The next time they'll probably send Imperial guards after me or something similarly dreadful."
I was talking more to myself than to Ervesa, trying to convince myself that alchemical properties or no the flowers were best left alone for now, and only belatedly realised that perhaps I should make sure she shared my thoughts about Imperial guards before making disparaging remarks. Luckily, she didn't take offence but just nodded sagely. "The way your luck is going, I'd expect a whole nest of cliff racers next. Or possibly dreugh who have mysteriously learned to walk on land."
"See? It's a matter of self-preservation. Ajira will have to do without." I imagined Ajira's sad face - in particular, I imagined Ajira's 'best impression of a kicked kitten' sad face - and winced.
"I'm sure she'll understand. At any rate, you can hardly pick them now, it's completely dark and you still look exhausted. You can always try again another day. And in the meantime, I have a suggestion."
I raised an inquiring eyebrow. (I was quite proud of this feat. It had taken me ages of practice in front of a mirror to manage properly.)
"I've only got one bed-roll with me, and although I saw a farmhouse further along the path I don't know how hospitable the owner will be. However, I do know a spell that will teleport you to the closest Temple. It's not that difficult, even if you don't have much knowledge of Mysticism you should be able to manage it after a few tries," Ervesa said, talking over my protestations that my knowledge of Mysticism was excellent, thank you very much. "That should get us to Balmora and let you get back to your Guild to rest. If you feel too tired to manage learning a new spell, I'll have to go take look at the farmhouse-"
"I'll do the spell," I said hastily. The idea of making it back to my bed in the Mages' Guild and waking up in the morning to Dulnea's spiced rolls and special tea was very appealing. And besides, even exhausted I was always willing to extend my magical repertoire - especially when it came to Mysticism, which had always sparked my interest.
"Wonderful!" Ervesa said. The enthusiasm in her voice made me suspect that she was also keen on the idea of a real bed in town. "The spell is called. 'Almsivi Intervention.' The way you form the magicka construct for it is..."
It wasn't a very complicated spell, which is why it was so embarrassing it took me such a long time to grasp it. By the time I actually felt sure enough of the structure to try casting it, the sun had sunk fully underneath the horizon, my cheeks were red and Ervesa was looking increasingly skeptical. It was humiliating - I was good at Mysticism, honestly (it made up for being completely inept at every combat-related skill bar running away). I'd been praised more than once about the ease and efficiency with which I cast my Detection spells. It must be the exhaustion, I told myself; not only had I had a long day, but I knew from experience that potions or no potions, the only magic that could rid me of the last, bone-deep weariness from using the Lover's gift was a good night's sleep. In short, not the best of situations to be studying in.
Thankfully, it really wasn't a very complicated spell. Apparently, every Temple in Morrowind had a... beacon, for lack of a better word, in the realm of Mysticism, and that did most of the work for you. The only part of the spell I had to do was throwing out a sort of mystic rope to connect to the nearest one, and even in my exhausted state I managed to figure that out eventually.
"So, are you sure you understand it?" Ervesa said for the third time. Really, there was being cautious and there was outright paranoia.
"Yes, I'm sure," I answered for the third time. I suspected it sounded three times as annoyed, as well. "Really, it's not that difficult a spell. What are you worried about happening?"
As always, my mouth was faster than my brain - the instant after I asked that, I realised I really didn't want to know the answer.
"Well, I've never reliably heard of anything going wrong myself but... there are stories."
"Stories," I said flatly. "These stories wouldn't entail, oh, accidentally teleporting yourself into solid rock, or vanishing into thin air and never being seen again, or appearing on the other side with your organs inside-out, or-"
"Well. Yes. But!" she hastened to add when she saw my expression, "it's always fourth hand or more. A friend will have heard it from a drunk he met at a tavern once whose second cousin's wife's aunt twice removed lost a friend this way. As I said, I've never reliably heard of anything going wrong myself, nor have I ever seen someone arrive injured due to a teleportation spell. And I've lived near or at Temples for years."
I had another worry. "And, er, the gods don't punish you if you cast this despite not worshipping them?"
Ervesa shook her head. "I know a lot of people use it to get around quickly, no matter what they believe. At the Temple in Vivec, there are always all sorts of people popping in from Ebonheart - the centre of Imperial government on Vvardenfell, there aren't too many faithful there," she explained at my confused look. "And since you say you have some skill at Mysticism, it really shouldn't be a problem."
"All right, all right, I'll do it!"
Now, anyone listening would probably have assumed I'd been convinced this was harmless - by her relieved smile, Ervesa certainly did. In fact, I still had my doubts... but as I'd realised earlier that day contemplating silt striders, if a method of travel was convenient I was perfectly willing to take advantage of it even if it might eat you, rearrange your insides, transport you into the middle of a mountain or just make you vanish forever.
I would like to point out at this stage that I'm an alchemist. I spend a great deal of my time tasting ingredients that might kill me, making potions that might kill me and using equipment that might explode and, you guessed it, kill me. I regularly poison myself and consider this completely normal and unavoidable. Recklessness comes with the territory.
I closed my eyes and envisioned the way I wanted the magicka to form in my mind. Hold the construct, don't think about what would happen to you if you screwed this up and switched your heart and your stomach around, channel it and cast it out...
The power swirled up around me, through me, and latched onto something-
For a brief moment I felt as if either the world or I had vanished except that I couldn't tell which one. Then the energy was gone and I was staggering, trying to adjust to standing on cobblestones when just a moment earlier I'd been standing on grass.
My eyes popped open. I was facing a door leading into a round, domed building made out of the same type of stone the other buildings in Balmora used. This must be the Temple.
"It worked!" I exclaimed.
I jumped in surprise as Ervesa suddenly popped into existence next to me. She seemed hardly fazed at all by the transition. "See, I told you it wasn't- um."
"What?" I asked, grinning broadly. The rush of successfully casting a new spell - a teleportation spell at that - hadn't worn off yet. Nothing could bring my spirits down now!
"Oops."
"What do you mean, oops?" Maybe 'nothing' was a bit too optimistic.
Ervesa had turned around and was staring behind me. I turned to see what she was looking at.
We were apparently in some sort of walled forecourt, with an open archway just behind us. Beyond, you could see the city lit with lanterns and torches, the light glimmering off the water of the river to my left. I could just make out trees and grass on its other bank.
I had the nagging feeling that there was something wrong with this sight, but I couldn't quite pin it down...
Wait a minute.
"The river in Balmora," I said slowly, "flows through the middle of the town, with buildings on both sides. Why are all the houses on one bank?"
"I'm really sorry about this." Even in the faint light, I could tell her cheeks had darkened. "We must have been further to the east than I thought."
"Further to the-" Pieces were falling into place in my mind. "You said that spell takes you to the nearest Temple."
Ervesa nodded sheepishly, and said, "We're in Suran." I felt all hope of waking up in the morning to Dulnea's rolls and tea die.
"Is there a Mages Guild here?" As a guild member I should at least be able to sleep there- but Ervesa was shaking her head.
"However," she continued before I could properly express my anger, "I will find us somewhere to stay for tonight and then tomorrow morning you can take the silt strider back to Balmora. I'll pay for the room and the fare, since this whole situation is, um, my fault." Ervesa looked at me as though she expected me to argue that. When I just stared at her silently, her blush deepened. "I'll try the Temple, they have beds and since I'm a member it oughtn't be a problem. Otherwise, there's a tradehouse in town."
"At this point anything is fine with me, provided I get to sleep somewhere," I said, fighting a yawn as Ervesa opened the door to the temple. I hadn't fully recovered from using That and exhaustion was settling in.
Exhaustion or no, after I entered I stared in surprise at the inside of the temple. Where was the altar? The stained-glass windows with emblems of the Nine, or at least the Aedra worshipped in that particular Temple? What kind of temple was this, anyway?
Then my mind decided to catch up to my circumstances and helpfully point out that being as this was a native Dunmer temple, and native Dunmer worshipped some sort of living gods, it would be rather odd to see the Nine represented. Although I still couldn't quite imagine how the actual worshipping would work without an altar...
See, this is what comes of being brought up in the Cult - narrow-mindedness.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and tried to bury all my prejudices and ideas of what a proper temple should look like, then opened them again.
Although it was fully dark outside, the temple was lit with many blue candles. In the flickering light, I could see it had a low, domed ceiling and was decorated with carpets and tapestries. The carpets were simple patterns, whereas the tapestries showed rich, detailed scenes - the one closest to me depicted what looked like some sort of grand battle, centred on three figures clustered around one lying on the ground - but all were muted and earthen in colour, a far cry from the extravagant and eye-catching decorations I was used to. I could see a sort of carved mural in the corner, lit by yet more blue candles; apart from that the temple was bare stone.
In the centre of the room, surrounded by candles and kneeling-cushions, was a large, shallow pit. A woman wearing simple robes who I guessed was the priest was standing next to it, engaged in intense discussion with Ervesa. Given that from the few words that drifted my way they seemed to be talking about statuary of some sort and interior decoration has never exactly been an interest of mine, I found myself more interested in the pit. It was filled with what looked like ashes although I could see... I blinked. Were those bones in there? And wasn't that a skull? ...a rather mer-like skull, at that.
I swallowed hard as I realised I had no idea about Dunmer funeral customs whatsoever. True, so far they were preferable to the Bosmer ones (understatement!), but putting remains on display seemed rather... distasteful.
Of course, maybe I had it all wrong and this was actually the site for animal sacrifices. When I was a child the priests had told me the more primitive religions, especially those that did not worship any aspect of the Nine, often made such things a centre of their-
Bury your prejudices, Adryn.
And after all-
Some words from the priest caught my attention. In particular, the words "so you can't stay tonight."
Strangely enough, I found myself suddenly disinterested in the differences between Dunmer religion and worship of the Nine.
"I'm very sorry," the priest was saying. "I would at least offer to let you sleep on the floor, but-"
"I understand completely," Ervesa said. Her face was grim. "I apologise; I would help you now but it has been a long day and I still have duties to attend to." From her side-long glance, I gathered that 'duties' was me. "If you lock up tonight, I can help you cleanse it tomorrow."
Tension went out of the priest's body so quickly she actually stumbled. "Thank you. I was going to contact the main Temple in Vivec for help, but I really didn't want to leave it that long. I'll stay with a friend tonight, if you..."
"We'll find something." Ervesa heaved a sigh. "I'll meet you here at first light."
And then I was following her back outside.
"What was that all about?" I asked. I'd been too distracted by the temple to catch the pertinent parts of the conversation, but judging by Ervesa's and the priest's attitude something was very wrong - and what was this 'cleansing' business, anyway? It sounded as if something potentially dangerous was going on, and when it comes to things like that I like to know exactly what they are so I can stay as far away as possible.
Of course, it might just be some sort of heathen superstitio-
I silently cursed all priests of Kynareth. Perhaps 'all' was a bit much, perhaps I should restrict myself to the ones who look at little orphan children and see them as empty vessels to be filled with religious propaganda, but I was tired and not inclined to be generous.
"Hmm? Oh," Ervesa looked as if she'd just realised I'd been with her the whole time. "I'm really sorry, it's Temple business. I shouldn't have let you listen to as much as you did." Well, luckily for her, I'd been too distracted by cultural wall-hanging practises and theology to eavesdrop on the apparently confidential and important conversation. I fought the urge to slap my forehead in frustration. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't repeat what you heard to anyone." Well, that wouldn't be hard, given that the only thing I could repeat was something about sculpture, of all things.
I was tempted to pretend I was about to run around telling everyone about this mysterious thing the Temple apparently wanted kept quiet just to annoy Ervesa, but she looked genuinely apologetic and at the moment I had bigger worries. "Sure," I said, shrugging, "I didn't hear much anyway. Only," I had bigger worries such as... "where are we going to sleep tonight, then?"
Ervesa beamed at me when I told her I'd keep quiet. She was surprisingly pretty when she smiled, I noticed. "Oh, there's a tradehouse with beds available in town. I was planning to stay at the Temple because it'd be free, but it's a good place. I've stayed there before, during pilgrimage season."
I heaved a sigh of relief that we apparently weren't going to end up sleeping on the street and followed Ervesa into Suran.
"What do you mean, you're full?"
"Exactly what I said, girl," the proprietress of the tradehouse grinned at me. Ordinarily, I'd be more curious about the intricate tattoo decorating her forehead - I'm only used to Nords deciding to get themselves stabbed with inked needles for fun, but I dimly remembered hearing that some Dunmer have tribal markings of some sort - but at the moment my attention was firmly caught by two things. First, that this was yet another person who thought "girl" was a suitable thing to call someone (what ever happened to basic politeness, I ask you) and second, that it looked as if we were going to be sleeping outside after all.
None of this made me any more inclined to be polite, so it was probably a good thing for our chances of not starting a brawl, getting into a fight with the owner or otherwise getting arrested that Ervesa intervened at that point. (Although then again, jails have beds. Maybe if it was just a little brawl?)
"I'm sorry," she said. "We're just tired and- full, really? I didn't think you'd be very busy this time of year."
The Dunmer shrugged. "Wouldn't usually be, but there are rumours about some sort of mad Orc berserker up in the hills that's made a lot of travellers stop here until they know it's safe to continue. I've got an entire trading group- all the beds are full, in fact, all the floors are full. Yesterday I actually had people sleeping in the hallway- I'm sorry, but there's just no way."
"Orc berserker? I should probably look into that tomorrow..." Ervesa's voice, which had taken on a speculative tone, trailed off and her shoulders slumped. "But do you know anywhere else where we might stay?"
"Well..." the owner trailed off. "Mine's the only inn in Suran, but there's one other place you could try. Although I don't think you'll like it."
"You are joking."
"Um."
Ervesa shuffled her feet. My gaze drifted from her boots (also insectoid - seriously, I do not understand local fashion choices, insect is never 'in') to the door of the place we'd been told we might be able to stay for the night.
Now, I have to admit I was a stranger to this country, totally unfamiliar with their customs and norms to do with everything ranging from food to fashion to exterior decorating. But honestly?
Red lights mean only one thing.
And any attempt at convincing me that actually, in Morrowind those red lanterns meant free housing for people named 'Adryn' or anything like that was doomed to failure by the sign that hung over the front door. The sign saying 'Desele's House of Earthly Delights.'
Nobody is that enthusiastic about mattresses.
"You can't possibly be serious," I tried again.
"Er. Well." Ervesa was studying her feet. Maybe she was reconsidering her choice in footwear - hope springs eternal - but I suspected she was just trying to avoid looking me in the eye. "They'll have free beds?"
"Free? Try pre-occupied," I snapped.
"Look, I don't like this any more than you do," Ervesa said, lifting her eyes to look at me for the first time since I'd spotted the lights. "But we need somewhere to sleep, and unless we want to hike out of town and sleep on the bare ground... in the rain..." she lifted her head in the direction of the clouds gathering overhead. "We can just try to get rooms for the night without any... extras."
I looked at the clouds. Looked at the entrance. Pondered whether sleeping outside in freezing rain was really worse than this, then decided sadly that yes, my chances of dying out here were probably higher than dying in there (even if the death would be decidedly more dignified) and gave a grim nod. "All right. Lead on. But I'm not happy about this."
I tried very hard not to look around the inside of the brothel, tried to ignore the stares of the patrons and the curious looks of the women wearing...
Weren't they cold?
Ignore it, Adryn! I firmly fixed my attention on a picture hanging on the opposite wall. It was a nice picture! With pretty colours! Showing...
...I had no idea it was possible to fit a grape in there.
Thwarted in my attempts to pretend we were somewhere (anywhere) other than where we were, I looked over to where Ervesa was trying to explain the situation to the owner.
"...pretty unusual, is all I'm saying. Lost travellers are one thing, but Armigers generally stay at the temple unless they're looking for companionship. Are you sure you only want-" the owner was saying. She was a Breton, still quite good-looking but with faint wrinkles at the corner of her eyes showing that she wasn't as young as her... employees. Her dark brown hair fell in waves over her shoulders and down to her...
Seriously, wasn't she cold?
I stared at Ervesa's hair, which seemed to be the only safe thing in the room to look at. It was very nice hair - black, twisted together at the back near the top of her head and then plaited so that it hung free in two thin braids to about the middle of her back. Honestly, it looked like a hairstyle that should take hours, a professional and possibly alteration magic to obtain, but I couldn't imagine Ervesa going to that much effort. She was a warrior... bard... thing after all, and at least the first half of that was something that didn't usually go hand-in-hand with creative fashion choices.
Well, unless we count wearing the same clothes for two weeks, rips, patches, bloodstains, dented rusty armour, perfume in the "dead people" flavour or - here - pretending to be a giant insect as fashion choices. Which I for one don't.
Indeed, the only concession to her appearance Ervesa seemed to have made were two earrings of some sparkling amber gemstone which she must have slipped on at some point after we got into town because I couldn't remember seeing them earlier. They were pretty, but small and easy to overlook, swinging from the tips of her ears as she turned around to face me-
Wait a moment.
"-Adryn?"
I started guiltily and pretended I had not just spent some time staring at Ervesa's ears. "Yes?"
There was a clinking sound as she shook a set of keys in front of my face.
"We've got a room."
I stared at the bed.
It was definitely a bed. Four posters, fluffy pillows, a pile of blankets high enough I started to suspect the owner had a hoarding problem, or maybe was preparing for a sudden glacier attack. (Sneaky things, glaciers are, you never know when they'll pop up.) Its aura of general bedness filled the whole room.
Moreover, its singularity filled the whole room, because there was definitely, emphatically only one of it. It was a bed on its own, a bed asserting its independence. It screamed, insofar as furniture can scream, "Look upon me, I am the greatest, softest, most comfortable, most bed-like bed that ever existed, and I tolerate no rivals!"
"I'll take the floor," Ervesa said.
I remembered with a guilty start that this person had saved my life only a few hours ago, and I probably ought to be more grateful. "No, no, I'll take the floor. You've had a long day. Fighting tusky things. Saving poor innocent travellers from them. That sort of thing."
Ervesa shook her head. "Taking the bed would be profoundly unchivalrous. Besides, you still need to recover from your shock. You take it."
Shock?
Oh, right, almost getting gored by the aforementioned tusky thing. Funny how I'd almost managed to forget that in light of new, brothel-related trauma.
"No, no, I..." My voice trailed off as something dreadful occurred to me. "Wait a moment."
Ervesa tilted her head inquisitively.
"This is- this is- I have read these books, all right, I know how this goes. Any moment now one of us will say, well we could just share, the bed is big enough, and then later- in fact, this whole set-up is..." I closed my eyes in the futile hope that it would somehow diminish the horror of the upcoming sentence. "I am feeling more like the heroine of a romance novel every minute."
There was a noise that could, possibly, have been a suppressed giggle.
I cracked one eye open and looked at Ervesa with suspicion.
Her face was perfectly impassive, but her eyes were dancing in a highly questionable manner. "I have to say... and I do take your point about this being a very, ah, stereotypical situation... you'd make an unlikely romance novel heroine." While I was trying to work out whether I ought to be insulted, she continued, "So, what's your suggestion then?"
"Well." I presented my solution. "We could both take the floor."
Ervesa gave me a thoroughly unimpressed look. I was surprised; usually, the sorts of looks my suggestions are met with run along the lines of "please repeat that, because I think a butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the world caused passing turbulence which changed the sound of the words before they reached my ear - this being more likely than you actually saying what I just heard" or "Since I cannot convince myself some auditory illusion caused this I am led to the inescapable conclusion that you were raised by maladjusted wolves, possibly in the Shivering Isles". (Believe me, I am heartily familiar with both of these looks as well as their variations.)
In short, unimpressed was a much milder reaction than I was expecting. Still, I felt obliged to defend my suggestion. "Besides, we don't know- we don't want to know where that bed has been."
In the end, it was surprisingly comfortable. The Bed (it deserved the capital letters) was furnished with enough fluffy pillows to occupy an entire orphanage of children in a fight for hours, as well as more blankets that would have been necessary in Windhelm during Morning Star. I had to wonder why they went to so much effort, given that what was meant to take place on the Bed was - and I am admittedly no expert - not something that particularly involved those things.
I just hoped they washed them afterwards, or else...
...you know, Adryn, let's not continue down that line of thought.
At any rate, there were enough accessories of various sorts to make each of us a comfortable nest, and in the dim candlelight the whole thing seemed almost like an adventure. Brave explorer Adryn - now complete with sidekick - venturing into the hidden depths of prostitution...
"Well, good night, I guess," Ervesa interrupted my daydreams.
"Good night and... I'm sorry for complaining so much about this," I said, pricked by my guilty conscience. "You did save my life earlier, after all. I don't mean to be ungrateful."
What? Even I can be polite sometimes!
"Don't worry about it. Saving people is part of the job description, and you'd done most of the work in paralysing the kagouti. Dragging people miles out of their way and forcing them to stay in..." she paused, "profoundly unsuitable, shall we say, circumstances isn't."
"Still. Sorry." I relaxed back into the purloined blankets, trying to ignore the stripped Bed looming above me. It was soft and warm and I was very tired...
It was at that point the noise started.
I won't describe it in detail, as I wish I didn't remember it in detail. Suffice it to say that it was completely impossible to ignore and left no doubts whatsoever about what sort of establishment this was.
I looked at Ervesa.
She looked at me.
"I'll see if Helviane has any playing cards," she said.
It said something about the way things were going that I was entirely unsurprised when the cards Ervesa came back with some minutes later had very... creative illustrations. By which I mean that I had certainly never seen the figures depicted in quite that way before; I didn't think some of those positions were even anatomically possible.
But I did my best to ignore that (something I was sadly getting a lot of practice in) and instead studied the cards themselves. They weren't quite the ones I was used to even apart from the... interesting... drawings. The suits were slightly different; "cups" seemed to have become "shields" in Morrowind (not that I could quite blame them given the wildlife), I didn't see any Emperors, Knights or Legionnaires but spotted a King and Queen of swords, and finally the trumps looked different as well. At least, I certainly didn't recall a Pilgrim in the decks I was used to, but then again I really wasn't inclined to study the cards too closely so I might be misreading them.
"Hmmm." Ervesa also seemed to be trying to ignore the illustrations. "Pity we don't have a third, we could have a round of sedrathi."
"We could always invite one of our neighbours over for a round, since they seem so... active," I responded. Ervesa choked. "I don't suppose you know any good two-player card games?" Most of the ones I knew were meant for groups. Besides, something I'd learned in my travels was that games can be completely different between different provinces, and it would probably behoove me to pick up the local ones (of which I assumed 'sedrathi' was one) sooner rather than later.
"I know a few, although I wouldn't necessarily call them good. But..." she shrugged. "I'm sure we'll make do somehow."
"Mmm." I nodded.
Honestly, even learning a new game as I was, I wasn't expecting the play to be all that interesting, or Ervesa to be much competition. I'd spent years playing cards with some of the greatest rogues in Skyrim, after all, and Ervesa was a knight (ish) which meant honesty, integrity and a natural disadvantage.
As a result, I was rather surprised when our game quickly turned into a friendly competition as to who could cheat most outrageously.
"I have the king of rings and the aces of staves, shields and swords," I said, laying down my hand triumphantly. Beat that.
"Hmm. Very good, very good indeed." Ervesa looked at her hand. "I have the ace of rings, ace of shields, and... two aces of staves."
"Quite miraculous," I said drily. "I don't think the rules work for this event, given that there's only meant to be one of each card in the game."
"Well." Her voice was mild. "It would help if you didn't use illusions."
I tried to jerk my hand away but she was faster. "Sheogorath take it," I muttered as the dispelling magicka washed over me - in particular, as it washed over the cards I was holding and shifted the aces of staves and shields into a seven and nine of swords respectively. It wasn't something you could use in a serious game where everyone was on the look-out for that sort of magic, but I'd managed to fool quite a few people who weren't expecting it with that little trick all the same.
"I think that means I win." Ervesa sounded satisfied.
"Wait just a moment. I know I saw you slip the aces of shields and staves up your sleeve when you dealt, but where did the other two come from?"
"Well, you're one to talk given that that was how you got the ace of swords," she'd spotted that? I thought for sure I'd got away with it, "and- wait!-"
This time I was faster and managed to grab the offending cards out of her hand. "Wait a moment, these aren't those cards at all! This is Masser and that's... I'm not actually sure, but definitely a trump card." I raised an eyebrow. "How exactly were you planning on sneaking those past me?"
"Well." Ervesa was coolly unrepentant. She'd have made an excellent thief with that attitude towards her crimes. "I thought that since those two superficially resemble the cards in question and if you looked closer you'd be distracted by the illustrations, seeing as they are among the ones where the artist took the most... creative license... don't look!"
Alas, my eyes were a little faster than either my ears or my brain in this case, something I had never regretted quite so much as in that moment.
"I- what- how-" I'd never been a drinker but suddenly, faced with the prospect of having that burned into my memory, strong liquor gained an entirely new appeal. "How is that even anatomically possible and why in the name of the Nine would anyone do it for fun?"
"As far as the first goes, I'm quite certain it's not. Years of combat training tell me that his legs would have broken long ago at that angle, and I don't think you could do that with a slaughterfish anyway. As for the second..." Ervesa shrugged philosophically. "There is a story of Saint Delyn that goes like this: once, when he was young, he came across two philosophers arguing next to a mudcrab colony. When he asked them what they were doing, one of them said: 'I am trying to explain to my imbecilic colleague that the movement of the mudcrabs symbolically expresses the movement of Nirn and the alignment of the stars!' The other retorted: 'No, you fool, the mudcrabs are demonstrating the creation of the world and the death of Lorkhan! See, if you take the one to the right there to be-'
"Saint Delyn shrugged and continued on his way. A few weeks later, he passed by the spot again. Both scholars had starved, having been so involved in their argument they forgot to eat, and the mudcrabs were making a meal of them. 'Sometimes,' thought Saint Delyn, 'it is best to let mudcrabs be mudcrabs.' In other words," Ervesa said, dropping out of her story-telling cadence, "it is best not to try too hard to understand some things, because doing so can only lead to madness, obsession, and having your corpse eaten by mudcrabs."
"That seems a little complicated." And a bit more grotesque than I was used to parables being, for that matter. "I prefer to say that everyone else has been brainwashed, or possibly possessed by Sheogorath, in order to find such an unhygienic, ridiculous activity appealing. Even if you take out the fruit. I mean, this entire place," I gestured around me. "An entire industry devoted to, to sticking body parts into other people's orifices or vice versa. I just don't understand how so many people would decide it's so important without Daedra and their sense of humour being involved somewhere."
I peered at Ervesa, curious about how she would react to this. Although I consider this very sound and logical reasoning, it gets me more "raised by maladjusted wolves" looks and even otherwise rare "I think you ought to be marooned on a deserted island on the off-chance that this is contagious" looks than anything else - something which I think goes to show how sadly widespread Daedric brainwashing is these days. Even Ingerte a-
Well, Ervesa had been surprisingly tolerant so far, so I wondered how the statement that usually made even otherwise tolerant people wonder out loud exactly how I'd survived to my current age without accidentally inciting someone to murder would work on her.
She was quiet for a long moment, staring into the candleflame. "Honestly, I don't understand it either. As I said: mudcrabs. You may not understand why they're doing what they're doing but it's best just to leave them to it. I do have to say that you're the first person I've ever met who shares that opinion." She met my eyes with a wry grin. "All of my fellow trainees thought I was crazy. It's good to know I'm not the only one."
"Brainwashing," I said sagely, but I felt my cheeks stretch into a smile in spite of myself. "Us paltry few who haven't fallen victim to it have to stick together."
We shared a moment of connection, a moment of being the only two people with sense in a world that considered the greatest possible pleasure to involve bodily fluids. It was broken by loud... noises coming from the next room, which goes to show that whichever Daedric Prince is at fault for this has a fine-tuned sense of irony.
I looked back down at the cards. "So... who won?"
Ervesa shrugged. "I think we can call it a tie."
"Fair enough." I wasn't going to argue. "Who taught you how to cheat, anyway? I mean, you're good. I barely noticed you slipping those aces up your sleeve."
"Not good enough, or else you wouldn't have." Ervesa grinned wryly. "As for who taught me - Tidros Indaram, one of my training masters at Molag Mar."
I blinked. This made two floating religious knight-bards that cheated at cards. "Look, I don't know much about your order, but... isn't that a bit unusual? After all," I continued when Ervesa just looked confused, "you were talking earlier about emulating your god..."
"Exactly," Ervesa interrupted, and it was my turn to look confused. "That's why we do it."
Wait.
Wait, I couldn't possibly have heard that correctly.
"Your god cheats at cards?"
"Well, I suppose-"
"Your god cheats at cards?"
I tried to imagine any of the gods I'd grown up hearing about, the Nine or the Nordic pantheon, cheating at cards. This resulted in the mental image of Alduin the great dragon who destroyed the world before time, Kynareth the Goddess of Air, and Talos who was Tiber Septim who conquered all of Tamriel and ascended to godhood... sitting around a table in a tavern playing cards, with Alduin trying to hide an ace between his scales because he didn't have any sleeves (being a giant, world-eating dragon), Kynareth using her powers over wind to blow the cards into the order she wanted when dealing, and Talos simply telling the others that his seven of staves was actually an ace and daring them to object. This in turn resulted in me pondering whether I might have accidentally had any skooma at any point that day without realising, because I had no idea how to explain what was going through my head without drugs coming into the picture somewhere.
"Well, it's a little more complicated than that," Ervesa said. "Do you want to hear the story?"
"Wild kagouti couldn't keep me from finding out the story behind this," I responded.
"All right then. Once, Vivec encountered a group of Dwemer near Falasmaryon..."
What followed was a story involving Vivec, an annoying braggart of a Dwemer who claimed his machine could predict anything that would ever happen, and Vivec talking him into a card game with high stakes. "The other Dwemer told him to be careful, for they knew Vivec was filled with trickery and bore them no love," Ervesa said, showing more pride at the description of her god as 'filled with trickery' than I would have expected. If you closed your eyes and ignored the accent, you could almost imagine she was a Nord talking about Shor. "But Vivec said, 'why, do you not trust your machine? If it truly does what you say, you would be able to tell how the cards will fall even now, and there is no risk,' and he agreed to the game.
"Then as they were playing, Vivec changed the cards so they fell to his favour. The Dwemer realised this and became furious. Yet, Vivec said, if the machine were truly able to predict anything, he would have known this would happen. So the fact that Vivec was winning demonstrated his lie."
"And then what happened?" I asked when she paused.
"The other Dwemer, being a folk that did not prize loyalty, agreed with Vivec's assessment. Thus Vivec's opponent was cast out for his failure and his machine melted down as useless, and thus the land around Falasmaryon came to belong to the Dunmer. Some people say one can still hear the spirit of the bested Dwemer there on dark nights, railing against Vivec's cunning, but," Ervesa shrugged, "Falasmaryon lies deep in the Ashlands and the wind howling through the foyada can lead even the bravest of mer to imagine things."
"That was a good story," I said once it was clear Ervesa had finished. "Do you know any more?" It was a good distraction from our environment - and over the course of the day I'd found myself honestly curious. Ervesa had made a generally good impression on me so far, making me wonder about the god that she was so dedicated to.
"What, weren't you listening to me earlier?" She frowned at me until I wondered whether I ought to be apologising for forgetting something (but what?), then her face broke into a grin. "One of the things we Armigers are dedicated to is poetry and prose. In other words," she winked, "I know very many such stories! I can think of several which I think you might like. But first..."
"First?"
"How much do you know about the Tribunal Temple?" Ervesa asked.
"Very little," I admitted. Then, struck by the intensity of her gaze, I added, "look, if this is some attempt at conversion..."
"No, no! Well..." Ervesa looked a little sheepish, "not really? It just seems to me as if you might be interested in learning more about us. We're not a very missionary sort of people!" she added hastily. "Not like the Cult. But a lot of outlanders, you know, they come to Morrowind and," she spread her hands, "they know nothing about us. Just rumours about savage rituals and heathen worship and," a dark look spread on her face and she almost spat the next word, "necromancy, of all the dreadful blasphemies. And they never bother to learn more. I hear outlanders who've lived in Morrowind decades repeating the same old lies about our beliefs and customs."
"So..." I asked warily, "you're just encouraging me to learn about your religion?" True, I'd been contemplating this myself, but I find it pays to be careful appearing too religiously interested when it comes to clergy and other zealots. You may think you're just passing the time while taking advantage of the healing services but then they get their claws in you and suddenly you find yourself swearing eternal loyalty to Mehrunes Dagon via human sacrifice - I've heard the stories, you know! A measure of reluctance and skepticism is essential when it comes to these things.
She nodded. "Exactly. If you decide to join the Temple afterwards, excellent, but even if you don't at least you'll know what we're about. And I don't mean you should go straight on a pilgrimage or anything. A good friend of mine is at the Balmora Temple - Llarara Omayn, is her name - and she sells books and tracts. I know there's one common one that's aimed at outsiders like you but I don't recall the name... other than that, Saryoni's Sermons is a very popular collection, Cantatas of Vivec is a favourite of mine, Doors of the Spirit is one I recommend to anyone who's heard those slanderous rumours that we engage in necromancy..."
My shoulders relaxed. Books, I could deal with books. I could deal with books very well indeed, considering that I'd been contemplating doing bedtime reading about kagouti mating habits earlier and as far as I was concerned, everything you needed to know about those could be summed up in two words: Stay. Away. "All right-" I paused to yawn, "I'll keep those in mind."
Ervesa smiled at me. My cheeks grew hot, which was definitely, absolutely, emphatically just because of the room being quite warm by now. "Wonderful! Now, I think I've remembered a story you'll enjoy."
"Go on," I said.
As she started talking, I let myself fall backwards into my mountain of pillows. The noise from next door was still audible, but my limbs felt like lead and I had to fight to keep my eyes open. Small wonder; I had used that today after all, and one rejuvenating potion was definitely not enough to get rid of the effects.
The last thing I remembered was Ervesa's face lit by flickering candlelight and her voice rising and falling rhythmically, lulling me to sleep.
Chapter 5: Chapter Five
Notes:
My apologies for the delay on this one; I got stuck on a scene at the end until I had to cut it entirely. I'm still not entirely happy with the end of this chapter as a result, but I've resigned myself to the fact that if I don't post it as is you'll probably be waiting another two years for an update. On the plus side, the next chapter is pretty much complete and should be out soonish.
A note: I've changed the currency used in this fic slightly. A septim is now one hundred drakes - I've edited previous chapters to take this into account, and it should be clear from context anyway. My apologies for doing this to you five chapters in...
Chapter Text
This time, when I woke from my nightmare (skin writhing as though there are a thousand worms just beneath it, the creaking as the bones are stretched to their utmost limit-) I didn't bolt upright. Instead, I just scowled at the ceiling - it was the third Oblivion-damned night in a row, if these were really location-induced somehow I'd end up trying to swim to the mainland before the week was out - then rolled over and waited for sleep to come again. The blankets were warm, by the dim twilight outside it was very, very early morning, the sounds of... activity... from next door had abated, I could hear even breathing from Ervesa's side of the room and I was so very tired...
There is fire everywhere. To the right a city is burning, to the left a forest is alight, ahead two armies are battling, their fireballs almost invisible against the glare of the setting sun, behind -
Don't look back. In the name of every single god ever worshipped, don't look back.
Someone's larger hand is clutching my small one, meant to be protective but holding me fast. "Come on!" I shout, pulling at it. The sound almost goes under in the screaming and roar of flames and- other noises. "It's not safe here! We have to keep moving!"
Now the scenery has shifted - the sun at my left, to my right the sea and a battle of two armadas. And-
The ground begins to tremble.
It is coming.
"We have to run now!" My companion still isn't moving. Despite myself, I turn back to look at her.
The stench hits me first - rot mixed with burning flesh, so strong it makes me gag. Maggots crawl over her forehead, the skin of her cheeks already peeling off to expose decaying muscle. There is a crunching noise as the bare bones I am holding snap, the tendons holding the skeletal hand together ripping under the pressure of my fingers. They say corpses stare but hers does not; her eyes are two pits of charcoal, burned clear out of her face, and-
Behind her-
It seemed that my old nightmares weren't just going to lie down and take this intrusion into their territory quietly, that they were in fact launching a counter-campaign. I lay in bed and tried to aim the thought if you don't stop this I am going to bash my head in with a rock just so I can sleep at my subconscious.
Perhaps it worked, perhaps my various nightmares had just exhausted themselves with infighting - this time, when I fell back asleep it was dreamless. When I woke next, it was daylight outside, there was rain spattering the window and Ervesa was gone.
I yawned, sat up and stretched. My back was sore - all the fluffy blankets in the world don't quite make up for lacking a mattress - but it wasn't too bad and I'd certainly slept in worse circumstances.
I'd had to sleep in my clothes as I hadn't taken my new nightclothes with me, but smoothing them down got out the worst of the wrinkles and I could change when I got to the Mages' Guild. (If I ever got to the Mages' Guild. After yesterday, I wouldn't be surprised if some god was trying to keep me away from the place. If there was an attack of massed kagouti or bandits or Daedra on the path back, I would be totally unsurprised - I vowed to myself to have my Firebite spell ready just in case.) Reflexively, I looked around for my cloak, then had to remind myself that I didn't actually own one at the moment and that this land had a very balmy climate. What can I say, old habits die hard.
The main room looked entirely different when I got downstairs. Gone were the patrons, the dancers, the lurid lighting. The only person in the place was the owner - Helviane, Ervesa had called her - who was wiping down the counter with a rag. I noted with relief that she was a bit... more warmly dressed, shall we say, than she'd been the day before.
"Up, are you?" she asked me, then continued without waiting for an answer (although really, what was she expecting me to say, "no"?). "Your Buoyant Armiger friend left at first light. Paid for the room and left you this." She pushed a ten-drake coin my way. "Said it was for the strider back to Balmora, and that she was sorry for just leaving but that she had urgent business and didn't want to wake you." By her smirk, I knew exactly how Helviane had taken 'didn't want to wake you', and wished silently that Ervesa had spent a little more thought on her word choice. "I'm Helviane Desele, by the way, didn't catch your name yesterday. And don't look like that, I don't bite." She paused and then winked. "Unless you're paying me, that is."
"Um." It felt as if my tongue had knotted itself overnight. "Adryn. And not biting me is perfectly fine, really, no need to change that, I, I like being unbitten-" I flushed deep purple as Helviane laughed.
"Ah, kids," she said, shaking her head. "Well, Adryn, you're in luck - Folsi should be back from her morning trip to Vivec in a bit, and the next destination is Balmora. If you'd missed that, you'd have had to wait until the afternoon."
"In that case, I'd better get going," I said quickly. At the moment, I really just wanted to get back to Balmora as quickly as possible and forget most of the last day had ever happened. "Wouldn't want to miss it. Er-" some long-forgotten part of my mind that had once learned this strange thing called manners prodded me, "thank you for letting us stay last night."
Helviane shrugged. "Well, you looked miserable enough I couldn't in good conscience send you back onto the streets. Although I do hope those merchants get over whatever terrifying shadows and stories are keeping them in town this time. Good business it may be for me, but bad for trade. Besides, they're getting antsy. Ashumanu's been talking about having to break up fistfights, and I've had to ban one from the premises already for trying to take out his frustrations on one of my girls."
"Er-"
Helviane continued without even looking at me - not that I minded that part so much, given the way she was scowling at the table as if it had insulted her, ah, professional assets. (Well, for all I knew it had - after the Bed I wouldn't be too surprised at anything the furniture here got up to.) "In the meantime, rumour has it there's a murderer loose in Vivec but is anyone afraid of travelling there? Hardly! And now I have those damn Fighter thugs on my back again. 'Debt money' - what debt do they think I owe them, pray tell? Protection rackets, I tell you - I thought the whole point of an Imperial guild was supposed to be that it wasn't a crime syndicate-"
It sounded as if the woman had forgotten that I had any existence bar being a listening ear - in particular, that I was trying to make the strider. It also sounded as if now that she'd got going she wasn't going to be stopping for a while. So I just waved at her and made my way to the door.
When I reached it, I stared outside in resignation. Up until today the weather had been good enough - cloudy, true, but dry and warm enough to be comfortable - but from the amount and type of vegetation and the swamps near the coast I'd deduced that this must be a relatively wet climate. As a result, the pouring rain didn't come as much of a surprise.
I still didn't want to go out in it, though.
Then again, I reminded myself, I was currently standing in a brothel. In comparison, a little water doesn't seem nearly as bad anymore. Refreshing. One might even say cleansing. And maybe, in a sense, lucky, because with the weather the way it was there would be fewer people around to see me leaving said brothel who might get the wrong impression.
I dashed out into the rain.
Some perfect, amazing, wonderful person who I was prepared to compose love letters to had come up with the idea of extending an oiled awning on one side of the silt strider platform to allow waiting passengers to wait dry. I ducked under it, shaking drops of water from my hair. The platform hadn't been far away from Desele's and shouldn't have taken much time to reach... unless, that is, the person trying to reach it was a total stranger to the city with the approximate sense of direction of a drugged chicken. Let's just say that I was quite damp by the time I found the place.
"Oh, hello there! Going to Balmora too?"
"Hello," I sheepishly greeted the Breton woman I'd been ignoring completely in order to revel in dryness. She was about my age and small for a Breton, with dancing eyes, short brown hair and wearing some sort of leather armour. She was also munching on something that made my stomach remind me that the only thing it had had all of yesterday was breakfast and some kagouti 'meat'. (I use the term loosely.)
I suddenly remembered I hadn't answered her question yet. "Yes, I'm going back to Balmora - I just joined the Mages' Guild there," I explained. I was absolutely not showing off, I told myself. It was relevant information.
"Really? I just joined the Fighter's Guild." At least there were two of us bragging now. "I'm a scout, you see. My name's Fasile."
"I'm Adryn," I responded. I was going to continue, but was interrupted by my stomach deciding to make its general state of emptiness and displeasure at that audible. I blushed.
"Here, take some." Fasile gestured at an open pouch at her side, out of which drifted a lovely smell.
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly..." my protest was very weak.
Fasile shook her head, grinning. "I got breakfast to take with me at the tradehouse, and Ashumanu, the owner, gave me far too much - I could never eat all this myself."
"Well, in that case..."
The pouch contained rolls with scrib jelly, which I was very proud at myself for being able to identify. They didn't taste quite as good as the ones I'd had yesterday - the cook here wasn't as dab a hand with the spices as Dulnea - but were fresh out of the oven, and offset nicely by the sweetness of the scrib jelly.
"A scout?" I asked as we chewed. "What does a scout do for the Fighter's Guild?" I'd thought Fighter's Guild members ran more along the lines of big brawny hulking fighters who were confused by words more than two syllables long. Scouts didn't fit into the picture.
"Well, the guild takes a lot of escort and protection quests - travellers hire us to protect them from bandits or the wildlife, people exploring ruins and caves hire us as back-up, that sort of thing. Other times we're asked to hunt down criminals who are trying to hide in the wilderness. Having someone who knows the area and can set up camp and hunt for food in the wild can be very important."
I nodded. "That makes a lot of sense. So what brings you to Suran?"
"Well, Eydis Fire-Eye, she's head of the Balmora guild, she asked me to drop off a message. But it was a good opportunity because I'd be a bad scout if I didn't know a lot about different regions, and I've never been to this area before," Fasile explained. "I mean, imagine what would happen if someone asked to escort them to Suran, or to Marandus, or to the Vandus tomb, and I got them lost? I wouldn't dare call myself a scout after that." She shuddered. "Oh, but, I also picked up something amazing at the shops here! One of the traders had a glass dagger for sale, see?"
I squinted at the weapon she held out to me. There is a euphemism for when something is in particularly bad shape, saying that it 'has seen better days'. This dagger, now, had probably seen better centuries. The hilt seemed to be in the process of dissolving, contrary to the laws of physics, and even from a distance I could tell that with that edge the weapon probably ought to be classified as a blunt instrument, as it wouldn't make a difference whether you hit an enemy with the flat side or the "sharp". I could still tell that somewhere underneath all the chips, scratches, and what looked like old blood that hadn't been cleaned off in so long it might actually have become one with the weapon, the blade was made of some reflective greenish material - wait, had she called it glass? Who in their right mind would make weapons out of glass?
Fasile stared at me for a moment after I voiced this opinion, then laughed. "Oh right, you must be new to Morrowind. This isn't ordinary glass. Volcanic glass is one of the hardest materials known to man and mer, and durable enough that it makes excellent weapons. If you want better, you'd be looking into ebony or Daedric... which is why a glass dagger usually costs around forty septims." Four thousand drakes? I whistled and stared at the weapon with new eyes. "But because it's in such bad shape," understatement of the year, "and because it's really hard to repair glass weapons the trader let me have it for much less!" The girl bounced. And I do literally mean bounced. I paused in the process of reaching for a new roll to blink at her - this was the first time I'd ever seen that outside of literature.
I spotted a flaw in her plan. "But... if it's so hard to repair, will you be able to?"
"Oh, I'll take it to old Wayn. He's the smith at the guild - bit of a stick-in-the-mud but very good at what he does. I'm sure he'll be able to fix it for me." Fasile smiled dreamily - I could almost read the words 'and then I'll have a glass dagger of my very own!' above her head - then blinked as though something had just occurred to her. "But what about you? What brought you to Suran?"
"I was looking for ingredients," I said, ruefully thinking of my vials which currently all contained that precious, rare, difficult to harvest ingredient known as air. "I'm an alchemist, one of two at the guild, and our guild mistress asked us to study some of the flowers that grow near Lake Amaya. I had a few... misadventures, and ended up staying the night here."
"That's funny, I don't remember seeing you at the tradehouse last night..."
I decided to take this as an opportunity to practice my poker face. "We must have just missed each other, I'm sure."
"I suppose. Did you at least manage to get the flowers?"
"No," I moaned. "All I got from yesterday were near-death experiences and this map here." I wiped my hands on my trousers and fished the damnable thing out of my pack. "I suppose it's useful to have one, but when you were expecting a reward that's a little, shall we say, shinier and more metallic..."
"Oh, yes," Fasile clucked sympathetically. "Wayn told me it's why the guild insists on a proprely negotiated contract before accepting any missions, to avoid this kind of thing." Yes, thank you for telling me now. "Although... wait, can I see that map for a moment?"
I handed it over, puzzled. Fasile took it, stared at it, then spoke a word I didn't quite understand. To my amazement, a glowing dot appeared on the map - I leaned over and saw that it was just at Suran.
"Is that..." I was stunned.
"It's enchanted with a location spell. Some Telvanni worked it out, I hear. They're really expensive - I've seen them selling for almost five septims! I've been thinking of saving up for one." She eyed the map hungrily while I tried to incorporate this new fact into my worldview.
"So when I thought about throwing it away..."
"...it would have been very, very stupid, yes. Whoever gave this to you must have really liked you."
I giggled. It may have sounded slightly hysterical. "No, I... doubt that. I really, really doubt that. I think it's more likely she just didn't know and thought it was a cheap copy off the streets. I mean," I paused for dramatic effect, "when I met her she was holding it upside-down."
We looked at each other and burst into laughter.
"Ahoy the strider!" A new voice, this one, and - to my surprise - unmistakeably tinged with the accent of Wayrest.
I was even more surprised when the owner of the new voice turned out to be a dark- a Dunmer. Given the accent, I'd been expecting a Breton... and wasn't that hypocritical of me, given the amount of people who, upon hearing me open my mouth, probably expected some fur-clad axe-wielding Nord!
But my ruminations on accents and their owners, who are not always quite what you expect, were interrupted when I noticed that the newcomer was surrounded by a glowing purple bubble of energy - one that the raindrops hit and then bounced off.
I may have drooled. If so, it was obviously to do with being a Mages' Guild member confronted with a type of magic I didn't know (a shield spell, something hidden in the dim mists of memory nudged me), about the passionate search for magic-related knowledge of all kinds, and nothing whatsoever to do with a way to stay dry.
"Oh, hi Eddie!" Fasile greeted as she handed the map back (with noticeable reluctance.) Apparently she knew him. "That's a neat trick. So did you get back without getting lost again?"
I hid a grin as 'Eddie', who'd strolled under the awning puffed up with his own cleverness, deflated. "Ah, of course not, I would never..."
"I met him yesterday," Fasile explained to me over his protests. "Said he was looking for Sulipund, but he was going the wrong way, was about to enter an ancestral tomb," a dark expression crossed her face, "and had already managed to fall into Lake Nabia twice. I ended up escorting him there, but I couldn't take him back to Suran and I was worried he'd manage to end up at the Ghostfence or eaten by Daedra at Bal Ur."
It's funny how sometimes, you can read "please let the earth swallow me right now" on people's faces clearer than if they'd spoken out loud.
As I was still smarting from my various misadventures yesterday, I was more sympathetic than I might have been otherwise. So he fell into the lake twice? At least he hadn’t almost been killed in a very embarrassing way by a rampaging kagouti. "Well, these things happen, especially when you’re not an experienced scout." I smiled encouragingly. "My name’s Adryn, by the way."
"Ah! Your sympathy is a salve to my poor wounded soul, o fair flower of beauteousness." He bowed with a flourish. "Edd Theman is your humble servant."
My sympathy vanished like a puff of hot air in a Haafingar blizzard.
"I think you must be confused. The bushes are over there, you see. At least, I assume that since you were talking to a 'fair flower of beauteousness' you were trying to address the local plant life, given that I told you my name just now."
"Ah, but such a masculine name hardly suits a gorgeous orchid in this arid wasteland such as yourself-"
"Excuse me?"
His shield spell chose that moment to wink out of existence.
Fasile, probably sensing that there would be violence done in a few moments, interrupted. "Look! There’s the strider."
The journey back to Balmora was something of a trial, thanks to Edd "call me Fast Eddie" Theman and his idea of what counted as suitable conversation.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't always mind flirting, provided it's in the right time and place and - most importantly - everyone involved knows that it's just for fun and nothing is actually going to happen. If that last condition isn't fulfilled I get to wrack my brains as to how to get it through to the person in question that the only way what they have in mind would be less likely to occur would be if one or both of us were dead. In my experience, this is something that is surprisingly difficult to get through men's heads. A few will back off gracefully, but many of them will react as though you're speaking Aldmeris, and some of them will take you pouring the boiling hot potion of feebleness you were working on over their heads while screaming at them to get out as a sign that "she must really like me!". Eddie was definitely, definitely of the last sort, even though I sadly didn't have any feebleness potions at hand.
Furthermore, he was also of the sort that thinks your eyeballs are located on your chest - particularly egregious as I have been reliably informed that it takes several minutes' concerted study to even tell that I possess one - and as far as his poetry went, it would be undeservedly flattering to call it merely 'dreadful'. I swear that at one point I heard the silt strider moaning in pain, which goes to show that even giant fleas have a greater sense of artistry than ser Theman.
Thankfully for me and my hypothetical life sentence in Imperial prison for murder via pushing someone off a giant flea, Fasile was there and we quickly allied against this threat. One remark of hers, relating his nickname to his stamina when it came to certain activities he was evidently interested in, left him sputtering and us in blessed silence for at least five minutes. As a result, although I was sorely tested I was able to hold out until Balmora without resorting to attempted murder.
I may have set a new speed record for strider disembarking; the people waiting at the strider port in Balmora certainly stared as though I had. Even so, I wasn't quite quick enough to escape Eddie's parting remark of "Look me up at the Lucky Lockup some time, my beautiful pearl!"
"Look up a portal to Oblivion!" I retorted, while resolving never to set foot into the Lucky Lockup. He ignored me.
I was still fuming a little when I stepped into the Mages' Guild after having bid a quick farewell to Fasile, enough that I had to hold back a nasty comment when I saw Marayn crouching in front of the supply chest.
"What are you doing there?" It came out a little more curt than it might have otherwise, but I managed to keep most of my temper out of my voice.
"A new shipment for the supply chest came in this morning, and I'm checking to see if that useless bureaucrat at the mainland has finally got it through his thick head that we need soul gems, not- no, it's all potions to strengthen willpower again. " Marayn slammed the chest shut with a little more force than necessary. At least I wasn't the only one in a bad mood. "As if Ajira can't whip up more than we'd ever need with wickwheat and bloat, especially now that she's got Adryn to- wait a moment." He blinked at me as if he'd only just realised I was present. "Adryn!"
Bad mood or no, I felt a flood of affection towards Marayn in that instant. At least one person on this island had managed to remember my name! "Yes?"
"Where on Nirn have you been?" He frowned. "Ajira's been out of her mind with worry since yesterday evening."
"Well, it's a long story-"
"In that case, tell me later. For now, go downstairs and tell Ajira you're still alive and in one piece so she'll stop turning the guild upside-down. She already almost poisoned someone this morning."
I squirmed guiltily. It wasn't as though I could have done anything about it, but I'd not thought at all about how Ajira might take me vanishing after she sent me on an errand. Especially when the reason she didn't go herself was because she thought it was too dangerous; she'd probably spent all day thinking something horrible had befallen me.
Well, something lethally horrible - given that I thought spending a several-hour silt strider journey in close quarters with a man who had a decidedly overinflated perception of his appeal, wit, and poetic ability certainly qualified as 'something horrible', not to mention the brothel, how could I possibly forget the brothel. And the evil fiend disguised as a pilgrim whose only purpose on Nirn was evidently to torture me. Oh, right, and I supposed almost dying probably counted as well.
Downstairs, things were quiet - it looked as if I'd arrived during the lunch break, because the only person I saw in the room were the Breton, who I'd mentally dubbed 'teleportation girl', and Ajira. The Khajiit was mixing something in a bowl, but I didn't think her mind was exactly on the task given her twitching tail and ears.
Or what she was mixing.
"You know," I said from behind her, "I'm relatively certain you don't actually want to add gravedust mixed in water to minced scamp skin. For one, I'm not sure why you'd want to make a potion that drains your magicka, but more importantly you don't want to add something mainly consisting of water to a hot liquid containing anything that ever touched a Daedra. Trust me on this." I still had the scars. Literally.
Ajira whirled around. "Friend Adryn!" Then I found myself with an armful of relieved Khajiit.
"Um. I'm sorry I worried you. There, there?" I patted her back awkwardly. What were you supposed to do in a situation like this anyway? And what was that sticky feeling on my... oh. "Could you take the stirrer out of my hair, please? I don't know what you were trying to make exactly but I'm relatively sure I don't want it on my scalp."
Ajira disentangled herself, then disentangled the spoon (which was a bit more complicated.) "Ajira was so worried! You are all right! ...you are all right, yes?" Before I could reassure Ajira that yes, I was totally fine bar mental trauma, I found myself with a potion pushed into my hands. "Drink this!"
I checked the label. Healing. "Ajira, I'm fine-"
"Drink."
I shrugged and unstoppered it - even though it wasn't necessary, I was happy to let Ajira fuss about me a little to make up for how she'd obviously worried about me.
The potion tingled going down, washing away the aches and pains I still had from yesterday. It tasted surprisingly good compared to the ones I was used to, apart from a bitter aftertaste and a dryness in my mouth.
"Mm, that was good. What was in it?"
"Saltrice and wickwheat," Ajira said. "Not only good ingredients for healing potions but also common foodstuffs, perhaps Adryn has had saltrice porridge already? But more importantly..." her expression shifted to something like I'd always imagined a scolding mother must look like. "Where have you been?"
"Um. It's a long story?"
"Then I shall finish this," Ajira cast a glance at her looming explosion in potion form, "and we shall discuss it over lunch."
The weather had cleared up, so we got "rat-inna-bun" - a kind of meat wrapped in dough roasted over a fire where I could only hope the name wasn't meant literally - from a street vendor, then I followed Ajira to her favourite spot outside. It turned out to be sitting on the northern wall where it passed over the river.
Although the wall was quite low at that point it still wasn't somewhere I'd take my hypothetical old grandmother, since we had to clamber to get onto it and it was narrow enough that even sitting on it required some dexterity and sense of balance. Thankfully, neither of those things had ever been a problem for me - another thing I could thank my birth-sign for - and I could tell why Ajira liked the spot. The view made all the acrobatics worthwhile.
To the northeast, we could see the river winding its way through a valley that broadened beyond the town. I could spot a small boat in the middle of the river - fishing, perhaps? - and another banked on the lush green shore. Further inland, there were tall, surprisingly normal-looking trees and pinpricks of brilliant colour that must have been flowers. The entire scene looked (deceptively, I knew after yesterday) peaceful.
The sunlight flashing off the river made me squint and let my gaze drift beyond it - then up, and up, and further up, my eyes widening. Although I'd only been rained on once, the weather had tended to sullen grey clouds since I'd arrived, and this was my first opportunity to see the incredible mountain they'd apparently been hiding. In fact, the peak was still shrouded, but enough of the rising landscape was visible to make the awe-imposing heights it must reach clear. Why, that one mountain must be visible from every corner of the island! I've never seen the like.
"This place is beautiful," I said to break the silence.
"Ajira is pleased you think so. She found it when she was very small and has been visiting ever since. She is very glad that now she is big enough people do not try to fetch her back down!" Ajira gave a fanged grin. "Silly tailless folk, thinking we fall as easily as you do."
I gave the appendage a glance - it must make balancing a lot easier. I found myself seized by a sudden moment of tail envy, and groped for another topic to distract myself. "So did you grow up in Balmora?"
"Yes," Ajira answered. "Ajira's mother worked here, once." I was still looking at her tail, and so noticed when it started shifting restlessly. It didn't seem as if this was a topic of conversation she was particularly comfortable with.
Rather than probe further, I took a bite of my rat-inna-bun and decided that even if it was made of E.R.Ds I didn't care as it was delicious. In fact, if it really did contain actual rat that had its advantages after all. I hadn't forgot my first day on the island - as with the kagouti yesterday, eating them would be poetic revenge given what they'd planned to do to me.
"So what happened yesterday?" The small talk was over.
"Well, I got to Lake Amaya all right, but then..." and again I began to recount the sorry tale.
Ajira made an excellent sympathetic audience. She oohed, aahed and winced in all the right places. She shared my disgust for the horrible pilgrim, nodded understandingly when I related how I ended up looking for the Bosmer's missing friend despite myself, and when I got to the kagouti she could barely sit still from the suspense. "Kagouti! They are dangerous, very dangerous, very aggressive - oh, Ajira will never forgive herself for sending you out," Ajira moaned. "How did friend Adryn survive?"
"Well." I bit my lip. "I managed to paralyse it-"
Ajira's eyes went wide. "You know a paralysis spell? But they are so difficult and - can you teach Ajira?" I had to smile at the imploring look she sent me.
"Sorry, I would if I could but it's not really a spell." I distracted myself with crumbling some of the rat-inna-bun bun and scattering it onto the water. I could see a few tiny fish gathering underneath it - the largest barely as long as my thumb, the smallest only visible due to their bright colour. Why couldn't more of the animals here be like that - reasonably sized, preferring fresh pastry to fresh person? "...I was born under the Lover, you see."
"Ohhhh. Ajira sees. She has never witnessed it herself, but she has read that the Lover-born can paralyse with a touch. It sounds very useful! Ajira is a little jealous - she has no such birthsign abilities, you see."
I looked up, distracted from watching the fish. "Why, what sign were you born under?"
"The Apprentice. Which is why she is only a little jealous." Ajira grinned at me.
I whistled; I was definitely not just a little jealous at that moment. The Apprentice is often considered the single best sign for mages, as those born under it have nothing short of prodigious magicka reserves - almost as much as those born under the Atronach but, unlike those unfortunates, still able to regenerate their own magicka. (Not that I have anything against the Atronach-born. Quite to the contrary, an Atronach-born can be an alchemist's best friend - or more specifically, an Atronach-born's unending need for restore magicka potions.)
"If you want birthsign abilities, I'll gladly trade you!" The Lover, being in the domain of the Thief, is not a birthsign I have ever heard anyone suggest when it comes to the "best sign for mages" competition. Needless to say, my magicka reserves were really nothing to write home about.
"Ajira is sorry, friend Adryn, but she does not think it works that way. Besides, her life would have gone very differently if she had not been born under the Apprentice, and Ajira likes her life the way it is." I cocked my head inquisitively, but Ajira didn't seem inclined to elaborate. Instead, she continued, "At least you can rest assured that there are advantages to being Lover-born. If Ajira were attacked by a wild kagouti she would undoubtedly end her life in its stomach, whereas you defeated the beast-"
"Well, 'defeated' would be putting it a little strongly," I said in a small voice.
Ajira's whiskers twitched inquisitively.
"The Lover's ability costs a lot of energy. I, um. Fainted. Right afterwards."
"Oh, yes! Ajira remembers reading about that as well. Next time," seriously, Ajira was probably younger than I was, she should not be able to manage such an excellent elderly matriarch impression, "you should drink an energising potion immediately beforehand or afterwards."
That was actually a very good idea, except. "Well, I didn't have one with me..."
Ajira looked at me. I sensed that if she had anything to say about it, the next time I left the city walls I would be laden down with so many potions for any possible eventuality that I wouldn't be able to walk.
"So, did the man you rescued kill the beast?" she asked now.
I grimaced at the memory. "No. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was him running away."
My ears perked as I was treated to a long list of what must be genuine Morrowind curses. I made mental note of some of the more colourful - my repertoire could always be bigger.
"-that scamp-spawned cowardly fetcher who Chemua would refuse and Vaermina would be ashamed to count as her own... if friend Adryn ever wishes someone to teach him a lesson about bravery and loyalty to those who put themselves in danger for him, she need only ask Ajira."
She seemed deadly serious, but I had to bite back a laugh imagining Ajira menacing anyone. "Ah, that'll be all right - after all, nobody got hurt in the end. Someone rescued me, a... floating armoire?"
Ajira's tail - previously swishing back and forth angrily - stopped dead. "Buoyant Armiger?"
"Yes, that. Honestly, that name..."
Ajira leaned closer and lowered her voice. "Ajira would be very grateful if friend Adryn did her a favour and didn't mention this to Galbedir or Masalinie."
"What? Why?" Were the Armigers disliked for some reason? But why Galbedir and teleportation girl specifically?
"Because if you tell them, they will not be able to stop talking about it for weeks," Ajira moaned. "It is bad enough with them reading those books all the time. 'The fair maiden and the valiant Armiger', or 'Fadresi Varyes at Molag Mar' or 'hello, the person who drew the cover thought big breasts and muscles were more important than adhering to basic anatomy' - nothing sensible like Saryoni's Sermons or texts about flora or magicka! And then they sigh about how they dream of being rescued by a brave, strong, handsome Buoyant Armiger - friend Adryn, I beg of you, if you tell them they will get carried away and Ajira's desk is directly next to Masalinie, do you understand?"
It sounded as if Buoyant Armigers had more in common with knights than I'd thought - in particular, that they had the same role as popular romance novel stars. And that I'd been more accurate than I'd thought with thinking yesterday evening had been a very cliched set-up. But... "The Armiger who rescued me was a woman. Does that make any difference?"
Ajra fingered her whiskers thoughtfully. "They will be a little less enthusiastic, Ajira believes, but only a little. Male or female it is an Armiger, Adryn understands?"
"So... such relationships are accepted here?" I'd found myself assuming so, given everything I'd grown up hearing about dark elven attitudes towards sex and that Ervesa hadn't reacted badly to the mention yesterday, but it's best to be sure of these things. "I know they're tolerated in Cyrodiil, but a lot of the people in Skyrim frowned on them and in High Rock I heard they were even illegal some places."
Ajira shrugged. "Here, nobody cares, unless the people involved are of a high rank. The daughter of a Redoran noble or of Duke Vedam Dren, she is expected to get married and have children, yes? And if she does not she is called selfish and betraying her family. But such things are rarely the case for the people Ajira knows... unless they have been keeping something from her, she supposes."
We looked at one another, each - I suspected - trying to envision the other as a high-ranking noble swathed in silk and surrounded by servants. At any rate, we both burst into laughter a second later.
Once we'd calmed down, Ajira shot a guilty look at the sun - now noticeably lower in the sky than it had been when we'd left. "Ajira really ought to go back to work. Soon customers will be coming and will be angry that she is not there to sell them potions! If she is not careful, some of her customers will decide it is better to go to Nalcarya 'oooh I am a master alchemist who is much better at everything than a mere Mages' Guild Apprentice, and also my neck has a crick so I cannot lower my nose' of White Haven - er, please do not repeat that," Ajira added anxiously as I started laughing. "But Ajira still has not heard everything that happened to friend Adryn!"
"Well, not much happened," I lied, "I can tell you quickly as we walk back." I tossed the remaining scrap of bun to the fishes and carefully started moving back towards the shore. "It was just, it was quite late by the time I-" woke up, "recovered from the attack. So Ervesa, she's the Armiger, she taught me this spell, to teleport you to the nearest Temple-"
"Ah, Almsivi Intervention," Ajira nodded. "Ajira has heard of it, but does not know it."
"It's not that hard, really. She thought that way I could get back to Balmora that evening. But we ended up landing in this place called Suran..."
"Ah. This is why Ajira does not know that spell! She has heard of enough misadventures like that."
"I don't blame you." I let myself fall to the ground and paused to catch my breath "We ended up having to stay the night." And where, I wasn't going to say.
"Ah, the tradehouse? Ajira has been there before. Ashumanu Eraishah is very nice, don't you think?"
I remembered the smiling face telling us she was very sorry, there were no beds free. "I... didn't really get to know her. I'm sure you're right, though. Anyway," I continued, changing the subject hastily while Ajira was distracted getting back off the wall, "I took the silt strider back in the morning and, well, here I am."
"So not as bad as Ajira feared... still, she will not send friend Adryn out alone again," Ajira said dolefully. "She did not realise it would be so dangerous."
I nodded emphatically. "Honestly, I don't blame you for not wanting to collect the ingredients yourself now."
"Well..." Ajira stopped walking and scuffed at a cobblestone with her foot. "Animals are not entirely what Ajira is worried about."
"What do you mean?" I was confused.
"Ajira supposes friend Adryn deserves to know, since she put herself in danger looking for ingredients Ajira was too afraid to go out for. It is... you are aware that slavery is legal in Morrowind?"
I shivered, remembering the horrible woman from yesterday and her talk of the 'slaves at the plantation'. "I am now."
"The preferred races for slaves, you see, are Khajiit and Argonian." Ajira was staring out over the river, her voice distant. "Other races, Ajira hears they are taken sometimes as well - especially in the east, among the Telvanni - but everywhere, mainly Khajiit and Argonian. The Hlaalu here have great plantations, saltrice and corkbulb and marshmerrow, all tilled by slaves. The Dres on the mainland, even more."
I swallowed convulsively. "That's - that's horrible."
"And of course, all those slaves have to come from somewhere, yes? The Dunmer send expeditions to Black Marsh and Elsweyr, but that is far away - Elsweyr especially - and may make people angry. May make the Empire go 'no, if you don't stop enslaving people from other provinces you may not have slaves any more.' May even start a war. So much easier if they can just catch them right here. They see a Khajiit walking alone in the wilderness and-"
Ajira made a quick motion with her right hand that reminded me of a trap springing shut. "No battles, no diplomatic incident, the leaders in Black Marsh and Elsweyr are happy the Dunmer are not stealing their people, the Dunmer are happy they do not have to fight angry warriors in those places, the Empire is happy they do not have a second Arnesian War threatening to break out. Everyone is happy. Except for the Khajiit."
"I- Ajira, I'm so sorry. I had no idea." Although... "I don't remember seeing anyone who could have been a slaver yesterday, though. Even that horrible pilgrim - she was old and unarmed, if you don't count her tongue. Is it really that dangerous?"
"Ah yes, a lot of people ask Ajira that." She still wasn't meeting my eyes. As usual, the nagging little voice that told me I probably shouldn't have said that popped up after the fact. "Say that it cannot possibly be so dangerous so close to town. That there are no slavers near Balmora. Except." Her voice was growing quieter and quieter, to the point where I had to lean in close to make sure I understood her. "That is what Ajira's sister thought."
Her sister thou-?
Oh.
I suddenly felt as though I'd just had a big meal consisting not of rat-inna-bun but of Adryn's foot, garnished with offensiveness and with a side dish of being a oblivious donkey who should learn to think before she speaks. It's a meal I find myself having relatively regularly, but not usually in this sort of size and it doesn't usually lie quite so heavily in my stomach.
"I- Nine, Ajira, I'm sorry- I didn't know. I shouldn't have said that. That's awful. I... I'm sorry about your sister." What did you do in this sort of situation? Someone should publish a book: 'The guide to properly apologising and sympathising once you have yet again managed to unintentionally deeply offend someone and remind them of various horrible past experiences.' I'd buy it.
Ajira sighed gustily and turned her head to look at me. "It is all right. Friend Adryn did not know, and it happened some years ago. Just... Ajira is very, very careful now. And she does not go out of town without escort."
"I understand. Really, I'm sorry," I repeated in a small voice.
"It is really all right, but..." Ajira gave a small smile. "If she wants to make it up to me, friend Adryn can read through Ajira's reports and tell her if they are all right or if anything needs to be changed. After all, they are on the experiments we did together."
I seized the change of topic like a drowning mer. "I can definitely do that. How did you describe the poison effects in the end?"
"Well, Ajira thought it best to make clear from the start that they were two entirely different types of poison, with the violet corprinus's being closer in type to bittergreen in the way it causes palpitations of the heart as opposed to the stomach cramps induced by the luminous russula, but she did put aside a section to speaking of their combination..."
I stared at the reports and tried very, very hard to control my expression. Because at the moment I was dangerously close to bursting out into laughter, and with an anxiously shifting Ajira standing next to me I suspected both would be the end of our friendly working relationship.
"Well? What do you think?"
I took another moment to impress it on my facial muscles that they were going to do what I wanted them to do, thank you very much, this was not up for vote. "It's. Ah. You've definitely written down everything we've discussed." Written it down, in fact, in exactly the way we'd discussed. Complete with, for instance, remarks about how Galbedir was most undeserving of being raised to Journeyman status, totally theoretical digressions about what effects a potion that drained intelligence would have slipped into her morning tea, and complaints about how lazy and unreliable the local apothecaries were. I had to admit, if this style were widely adopted in academic writing scholarship would become a lot more amusing. And blood feuds between alchemists much more common, admittedly, but I would consider that an acceptable side effect.
"That is good, no? Ajira made sure not to leave anything out in case it was important!"
Yes. She'd certainly done that.
I pondered how to break it to her. "Ajira... how much experience do you have with formal academic writing?"
"Um." Ajira looked away. "This is the first time Ajira has ever written a report like this."
Somehow, I wasn't surprised.
"And what about reading it? Have you read many textbooks, papers by researching alchemists, that sort of thing?"
Ajira was shaking her head. "Only very little. Those which are here in the guild, they are mostly about such alchemy as uses the ingredients available in Cyrodiil, yes? Much writing about the uses of arrowroot or lotus seeds, very little about gold kanet or trama root or the mushrooms. It is one reason the honoured Ranis Athrys has asked Ajira to investigate such things. And before she joined the guild..." Ajira seemed suddenly fascinated by the stained counter. "Ajira did not have access to such things at all. She learned on her own."
"Ah, don't worry about it. I'm mostly self-taught myself," and was equally familiar with the derision one experienced as an alchemist without a proper training pedigree. Even taking my general cynicism into account, it's surprising how many people care nothing about whether or not you can actually brew a potion in favour of whether or not your family was able to pay your way into the Arcane University. I keep hoping for the day where they all end up poisoned by the sorts of incompetents with more book learning than sense they call "real alchemists".
Judging by Ajira's downtrodden expression, it was the same here. I patted her shoulder gingerly. "It doesn't mean we're worse alchemists - in fact, I think we're better for having had to work everything out on our own. But it makes it hard to pick up things like the style of academic writing, and Ranis probably expects you to use that."
Ajira stared at me hopefully. "Can you teach Ajira, then?"
I'd walked straight into that one, hadn't I.
I stood behind the alchemy desk musing over the strange turns that life takes.
I'd spent some time giving Ajira pointers (mostly along the lines of "no, you should not explain exactly why Nalcarya is an awful person and horrible alchemist who doesn't deserve the customers she has, even if her refusal to sell you any ingredients did mean you couldn't do half the experiments you wanted"). Thankfully, this had gone relatively well - Ajira had honestly wanted to know how to make her writing formal enough to pass muster and hadn't taken offense at any of the things I'd pointed out, which was something I'd been worried about. I'd tried to be tactful, but... well. Tact and I have never been the best of friends. In fact, our relationship could probably be more closely described as somewhere in between chilly hostility and open warfare, given what generally happened when I tried to get tact on my side. Most likely I'd dreadfully offended it at one point without meaning to. That happens more than I'd like.
At any rate, after a detailed and thankfully friendly discussion about the do's and don't's of report writing, at least as far as I understood them, Ajira had decided to retreat and rewrite her report. However, given that it was Fredas afternoon, business had picked up and Ajira couldn't just leave the alchemy desk unattended. But since fortune had it that there happened to be another alchemist standing around with nothing to do now that she'd finished her imparting of wisdom...
All of which, together with Ajira's best sad kitten impression and use of "friend Adryn" (a combination that was so devastatingly effective it ought to be banned) led to me selling Guild potions to the townsfolk. Being a merchant. Being, in other words - I shuddered inwardly - positively respectable. Or as respectable as it's possible to be when you still feel as if you ought to be stealing the potions instead of selling them. Which was still far more respectable than I found entirely comfortable; I couldn't help the feeling that some fundamental law of nature had been violated and as soon as nature realised it disaster would follow.
Unless it already had and "disaster" was taking the form of "customers". I wouldn't be surprised.
The walking disaster I was dealing with right now still hadn't finished his appraisal of a simple energising potion, despite my lengthy mental digression. At the beginning, I'd thought the old Imperial must be a master alchemist himself, given how carefully he was studying the list of ingredients on the label. Now, my thoughts were going along decidedly more uncharitable lines, including but not limited to speculation about how well the pair of spectacles on his nose actually worked.
"You. Girl." I fought down the sudden burst of rage by mentally repeating a merchant does not start screaming at her customers until I was sure I could stay in control of myself. It had been my mantra for the afternoon, and I felt my close adherence to it made me a veritable candidate for the Psijic Order. "What's in this potion?"
A merchant does not start screaming at her customers.
"Excuse me," I said through gritted teeth. "Could you hand me the bottle so I can read the label?" The one you've been staring at for the last however many minutes, apparently without picking up a single word of it-
He stared at me for a long moment until I was already preparing myself for him to tell me how it was an utter disgrace that I didn't know the ingredients of every single potion in the place by memory (something he would not, sadly, have been the first person to attempt). Thankfully for my temper, he handed it over quietly in the end.
"Well, if you just read this label here," I was proud of myself for managing to keep that sentence only moderately sarcastic, "you'll see that it contains water, kresh weed pulp, minced kwama egg hide-"
"Kwama egg!" the man spat. "You use that filthy stuff in your potions?"
I stared at him. "Er... is there a problem with kwama eggs?"
"You expect me to drink something that came out of an insect? Vaermina's filthy creatures, they are. Bad enough you dark elves eat them, but trying to hide`the vile stuff in potions so good honest folk like me get fooled into-"
I squeezed my eyes shut. A merchant does not scream at her customers. Even if they are insistent on explaining to you how your race's diet makes you barbarians. Weren't Bosmer the usual suspects for that kind of thing-
Wait, hadn't Ajira pointed out the cupboard with alternate potion formulations to me? She'd said it was for customers with allergies, but I was willing to make an exception for this man if it would make him stop shouting at me about the evils of kwama eggs.
"Just a moment, I may have something." I opened the cupboard door - yes, there it was, energising potion, thankfully without anything kwama-related. I drew the bottle out. "This one doesn't contain kwama egg," I explained. "The ingredients are water, chokeweed, hackle-lo, some alcohol-"
"Alcohol? Alcohol?"
Oh no.
The man's expression said I could expect spittle flying any minute now, so I ducked in precaution as he raged on. "I walk into the guild expecting to find reputable alchemists, not - not - harlots pretending to respectability in order to cater to drunkards!"
Harl... excuse me?
All right, that was it. Merchants not screaming at their customers was all very well and good but I wasn't even one anyway, just a very out-of-place substitute.
"Actually," I snapped, cutting across the man's invective about how he would make sure I got kicked out the guild to starve, "the alcohol is a byproduct, used because some ingredients are easier to store and more effective after fermentation. Morever, so much of it is boiled off during preparation that in order to actually get drunk off it you'd need to take so many that you wouldn't sleep for days. If you're worried about potion abuse, you should be worrying about that, not two drops of alcohol."
And really, that was where I was used to the moral outrage starting. Alcohol content was definitely a new one for me, but the abuses of rejuvenating and energy-fortifying potions among students at the Arcane University so that they can study for three days straight are talked about throughout the Empire, and there'd been talk about banning or restricting speed-boosting potions in Skyrim for as long as I'd lived there. Ludicrously so, I'd thought, since they're really harmless. Even I, with my general dislike of altering my state of mind, had tried them the first time I got my hands on the ingredients several years ago and spent a very pleasant evening bouncing around with-
The man who had a moral objection to kwama egg, alcohol, and - I suspected - at least one ingredient of every potion we stocked, had apparently ignored my interjection entirely and was still talking. Ordinarily, I'd have felt guilty about tuning him out, but for some reason I had the impression I wasn't going to have missed much.
"-trying to ply their dreadful homebrew to innocent customers, this would never happen in the Imperial Cult-"
See?
"Well," a new voice interrupted, "if you're so upset this place isn't like the Cult, why don't you go there to buy your potions? Fort Moonmoth isn't that far away, after all."
Both I and the plague on the life of innocent attempting-to-be-merchants turned to look at the newcomer.
A Redguard woman had apparently been waiting behind the outraged Imperial until she couldn't keep herself from intervening. Since she was apparently on my side, I found myself not minding in the slightest.
Backed up by my unexpected ally, I added, "Yes, it's only half an hour's walk or so." I'd passed the fort on both silt strider journeys and my ill-fated flower-gathering journey already, so I was becoming familiar with the area. "Or-" maybe I shouldn't be so eager to lose Ajira a customer, "if you tell me the ingredients you do not have any moral objections to, I can see if we have any potions that meet your specifications."
I thought this was an eminently reasonable suggestion, but the man just huffed wordlessly, turned, and strode towards the exit. I had to admit that, customer or not, I really wasn't sorry to see him go.
I turned to the Redguard. "Thank you, and I'm sorry you had to see that. Do you want any potions?" Dealing with a customer who didn't treat me as either some sort of potion-dispensing Dwemer automaton or a verbal punching bag would be a nice change - but she was shaking her head.
"No, no, I'm not here to buy anything. Er- is Ajira here? Because earlier she asked me to get her this bowl." She hefted a ceramic bowl which I hadn't noticed her holding before. Probably for the best, as I'd only have been tempted to use it to attempt to whack sense into a certain someone's head.
"Yes, she's in the back."
I pulled back the curtain that led to the alchemy lab. Even having only been here for a few days, I knew that ordinarily I'd have been met by the comforting, homey sounds of potions on the verge of bubbling over and melting the countertop along with panicked shouts as the alchemist inhabitant tried to salvage the mess. However, today all was quiet - well, quiet except for the frustrated groans of someone attempting to write up a report. It was positively alien; only the chemical fumes (all the ventilation shafts in the world can only do so much) made it seem familiar again.
Ajira looked up when she saw me. "Friend Adryn! Would it be better to write 'the outcome' or 'the result' of an experiment?"
Apparently my instructions had given her the mistaken impression that I was some kind of expert here, someone who submitted reports to the Skyrim Mages Guild Journal of Alchemy or even the Arcane University's Alchemy Monthly to have them read by other alchemists all over the Empire. "I'm not sure," I told Ajira, dashing all those beliefs. "Both sound reasonable. Also, there's this woman saying you asked her to bring her a ceramic bowl?"
"Oh, Jamexa, yes - she is a new member, does Adryn know? She was asking around for duties, and Ajira needed a new bowl." Wait. So I was sent on dangerous trips into the wilderness involving angry kagouti, misjudged teleportation spells and brothels, but she got to go shopping? How was this remotely fair? "But now Ajira has to finish this report, Ranis Athrys is asking for it and Galbedir has already finished hers! Could friend Adryn give Jamexa this potion as a reward and tell her Ajira is very sorry, she does not have the time to give her new duties right now?"
Ajira barely waited until I nodded - grudgingly (reward? What was this reward business?) - before she started to bend over her parchment again. I had to hide a smile when I noticed how she stole a longing glance at the alembic in the corner before gripping her quill.
Outside, Jamexa accepted the potion (healing) with a smile and information that no new duties would be forthcoming with a shrug. "I was expecting it, to be honest," was her comment. "Ajira really didn't know what to do with me. She was already reaching with the last one. I'm Jamexa, by the way, but everyone just calls me Jamie. Except for Ajira, that is - I'm not sure Khajiit really understand the idea of nicknames."
"Oh, right. I'm Adryn."
I eyed Jamie suspiciously. She had a sword sheathed at her side; the callouses I'd spotted on her hands giving her the potion and the way she hadn't tripped over it yet (a feat I certainly could not have managed) spoke that she was well-practiced in its use. She wore the quilted jacket I knew many people wore under armour, and I had some suspicions that the bulging pack at her side contained exactly that. In other words, she looked an even more unlikely Mages' Guild member than me - but more importantly, she looked like the perfect person to send into the wild on dangerous ingredient-hunting expeditions.
I told her so.
"Well." Jamie shifted uncomfortably. "She did try sending me out to collect mushrooms at the start."
Suppressed giggles told me Teleportation Girl was again listening in on our conversation. Jamie scowled in her general direction. "Look, I'm from Kvatch, all right? Second biggest city in Cyrodiil? I've barely ever been outside city walls, my family aren't alchemists or mages or anything like that, how do you expect me to know these things? I tell you, anyone could have mistaken the dried rat droppings for mushrooms-"
All right, I suddenly understood why Ajira had sent me out instead.
"Sorry," I said once I'd managed to stop laughing. "Just- you actually- er. I guess you really must not be an alchemist, then, I can't imagine even an apprentice making that mistake."
For a moment, Jamie looked as though she were going to take offense - violent offense - to what I'd just said (my amazing powers of tactlessness, striking again), then she sighed.
"Honestly, I'm not much of a mage. I know enough Alteration magic and healing spells to get by, but I mainly joined for the services. I figured that since I had joined, I might as well help out." She shrugged. "I'm more of a warrior anyway," oh really? I would never have guessed, "but I'm new to Morrowind and looking for an organisation where I can fit in."
"She was even in the Imperial Legion for a while!" Teleportation Girl chirped. After a few seconds - which felt like an eternity of sheer horror on my part - she added, "For about ten minutes, that is."
Jamie groaned. "Masalinie, do you have to tell that story to anyone who stands still long enough?"
"But it's a great story! And besides," Teleportation Girl smirked, "we may have the shortest-serving Legion soldier in history. No other guild can say that!"
"Wait," I said, startled out of my automatic reaction to the Imperial Legion (which runs along the lines of excessive screaming, sometimes mental and sometimes not, generally followed by running). "Ten minutes? How does that work?" Surely even being thrown out for gross incompetence - and considering the Legion, it must be very gross incompetence indeed - took longer than that.
"Well, this is a bit of a long story. Do you want to hear it?"
Somehow, despite Jamie's affected reluctance, I got the impression that she loved telling this. I looked around - the afternoon customer rush seemed to have died down, and the only non-Guild member still in the building was an elderly woman who was asking Estirdalin for a spell to dry laundry. My skepticism was clearly mirrored on Estirdalin's face.
"Sure. Go grab a seat," I nodded at one of the stools near the desk, "I'll make us some tea."
I would have gone ahead and made the tea in an alembic and served it in beakers, but Teleportation Girl pointed me towards a cupboard in the corner. I fished out the battered kettle, raised an eyebrow at the collection of clay mugs and leather tankards the guild had apparently amassed and raised the other eyebrow at the inscriptions they'd picked up along the way.
"Someone figured out that you could use a controlled Fire spell to etch designs on tankards, then one of Ajira's failed potions turned out to work very well as paint and then, well, we may have gone slightly overboard," the Breton explained as I pondered the cup with "Battlemages do it with great balls of fire!" written on it in wobbly red letters. "Just take some- no, not the plain one, that's Sharn gra-Muzgrob's-"
I carefully selected three mugs, making sure to leave Sharn's, the one labelled "Guild Mistress", and (after some consideration of both the Bosmer's reaction and what a certain intrepid Khajiit alchemist might have already added to it) the one with "Galbedir's! DO NOT TOUCH" written on it in glowing blue script in the cupboard, then turned to making tea.
And oh, I forgave Ajira all her oddities - ranging from Khajiit grammar over being hilariously incapable of writing a proper report to sending me out on suicidal ingredient-finding missions - for tipping me off about hackle-lo tea with honey before she'd withdrawn to wage her quill-wielding battles. The tea wasn't as good as Dulnea's brew, but that didn't really say much, and it was absolutely ideal for early evening lethargia. Refreshing and effective in restoring your energy, without the jitters and insomnia my previous tactic of sipping energising potions gave you, and with a lovely sweet, slightly minty taste. What more could an alchemist ask for?
Judging by her expression Jamie seemed to agree, which made my culinary heart swell with pride. She closed her eyes and inhaled the steam for a moment, then launched into her story.
"I only arrived in Vvardenfell a few weeks ago," Jamie began. "And when I came here, I didn't have much more than the clothes on my back. So when I heard about the Imperial Legion recruiting up in Gnisis, I thought, why not give it a try? I'd never really considered joining the Legion before, but they supply recruits with armour. That really clinched it - I can't fight effectively without it, but I couldn't afford to buy any of my own."
So far, this all made sense. I had a sudden, unexpected burst of sympathy for all the people who must get snared and then brainwashed by the Legion this way.
Jamie took another long drink of tea and continued. "When I got to Gnisis, I went to speak to Darius, this commander of theirs. Lazy honoured user, that man - spends all his time sitting in the local tradehouse drinking ale instead of actually checking on his officers, and vain enough he got them to name the fort after him." She scowled. "Anyway, he said he'd be happy to have me, and in fact that he needed a newcomer he could use as a sort of independent agent. That suited me pretty well - I didn't think I'd make a good rank and file soldier, you know? I ask too many questions. So he sent me off to get my armour from the quartermaster-"
"Which took about ten minutes," the Breton threw in, grinning broadly.
Jamie frowned at her. "Who's telling this story, you or me?"
"Sorry," she said, not sounding particularly repentant.
"Anyway," Jamie turned back to me, "she's right, I don't think it took more than ten minutes. Apparently having armour that actually fits is a privilege of rank," she quoted acidly. "So quite soon I was standing in front of Darius again in a chainmail shirt that would have been big on an Orc."
"And then what happened?" I asked, fascinated.
"He looked at me and told me had a mission for me. Namely, apparently a widow in town owned a farm on land the Legion wanted to expand on. He wanted me to get the land deed off her." A dramatic pause. "He said he didn't particularly care as to how."
Judging by the glances Teleportation Girl and Jamie were shooting at me, they expected me to be outraged.
They weren't disappointed.
"Really?" I sputtered, appalled. "He- he just- I mean, I always knew the Legion was corrupt, but to just-"
Jamie nodded earnestly. "Really. I had about the same reaction."
"What did you do?"
"Really the only thing I could do," Jamie said. "I threw the armour they'd given me into his face - good thing it was so big, I could get it off easily - and told him that I was resigning immediately because he was a rotten fetcher who was probably here because no legion in Cyrodiil would accept him even as a boot-cleaner and I wouldn't be part of the sort of filth he was wallowing in for a thousand septims. Then I marched out while everyone was still too busy gaping to do anything."
The smile that spread across my face was so broad it made my cheeks hurt. "That's amazing," I said with feeling. Imagining that scene made it hard to keep from bursting into applause, or laughter, or both, then and there.
"Thank you! And - do you know what the worst part was?"
"What?" I asked, agog.
"After that, I went to this woman - Vabdas, he'd told me her name - to warn her about what the Legion was planning. I figured it was only a matter of time before Darius found someone else to do his dirty business, you know? It turned out that her husband had only died very recently, under mysterious circumstances." She paused meaningfully. "Suspiciously mysterious circumstances."
"You don't mean..."
"I investigated it," Jamie said. "It wasn't as if I had anything else to do, and Tareyni - the widow - she was nice, you know, and still grieving for her husband and she didn't even know how he'd died. Snuck into the mine at night - it's a long story, but it turned out he was killed by a Legionnaire.
"That's right," she nodded at my shocked gasp. "I found some evidence - the murderer had left his axe still in the body, even. Took that to the village hetman. I hear he's going on trial next Sundas. Should be a short one, since he confessed - good riddance, I say." She pursed her lips-
"Please don't spit on our floors," I said hastily.
"Oh, right. Sorry."
"But, really," I said after the danger of saliva on our flooring, and possibly me as the low-ranking new guild member who didn't argue with Imperial Legion generals for fun told to clean it up, had passed. "This guy wants the land, and the poor woman's husband just so happens to get killed by one of his subordinates..."
"I know," Jamie said. "After Darius heard about it, he acted all outraged, apologised to the widow and everything - but of course he could hardly do anything differently now that the whole town had heard about it, could he?" She shrugged. "At least now he's not going to try getting at her land again if he has the slightest bit of sense. He'd have a rebellion on his hands."
"I'll drink to that." Teleportation Girl toasted Darius's frustration with her mug, then looked into it. "Or I would, if I had any tea left."
"I can make another-" I began.
"Uh, excuse me?"
We all turned.
"Sorry to bother you," the Breton standing behind us continued, "it's just, I'm looking for a potion to cure... um..." He looked at Jamie and Teleportation Girl. "Is there any chance of a little privacy?"
Jamie set the empty mug on the desk and stood. "I need to go see someone at the Fighter's Guild anyway," she commented. And even Teleportation Girl seemed to suddenly realise that travellers could be coming through any moment now. I mourned my tea break.
"So, um, the problem is..."
As the customer shuffled his feet, I mentally weighed the odds on this being chronic indigestion, a very intimate disease, or problems with a rather specific sort of stamina. At least he looked embarrassed enough that I didn't think it was a pretext to attempt (badly) to flirt with me... unlike the Imperial earlier. I can only thank the Nine for other races' fire resistance, or rather the lack thereof - a handful of flickering flames would never have sent a Dunmer scurrying that quickly.
Ah... business as usual.
Chapter 6: Chapter Six
Chapter Text
The next morning found me wandering towards the Eight Plates with a spring in my step and a broad smile on my face. Now, let me hasten to make clear that this is not a typical state of events; overall I find being a grumpy curmudgeon quite enjoyable, thank you very much. However, last night marked the first of what I hoped would be many occasions known as "Adryn sleeps through the night and does not have a nightmare". Correspondingly, this was the first morning since I'd arrived that I actually felt well-rested. I had dreamt, true, but the few fragments I could remember now were surreal but harmless and the worst it had caused me was a momentary disorientation waking. A far cry from my restless nights before, and reason enough for a good mood.
Perhaps my threats yesterday morning had had an effect? If so, I found myself rather underwhelmed by this "soul-sickness" and pitying the poor fools who didn't have the strength of will to stand up to it. Or maybe my dreams had really only been difficulty adjusting to Vvardenfell after all.
"Ah- Adryn, wasn't it?" Dulnea bustled up to me after I stepped into the inn. "I thought I might be seeing you again, after Estirdalin told me you'd joined the Mages Guild." Her eyes roved over my form in a way that would have made me much more uncomfortable if I hadn't suspected she was mainly interested in the embroidered robe I was wearing. "So you did visit Millie - that's a much better look for you." She clucked. "It's good to see you didn't come to any harm visiting that- that-"
I had to agree with her distaste at the thought of Caius, although I suspected my reasons for it were rather different from hers. All the same, best to head her off... what had that cover story been again...
Had I just actually thought the words "cover story"? When had my life turned into a bad spy novel?
I swallowed hard to keep myself from throwing up and launched into my explanation. "Oh, Cosades? Apparently he's an amateur historian or something, got a shipment of books he needed. If I were him, I'd spend less money on building up my library and more on moving into a nicer place, but..." I attempted a nonchalant shrug. "At least he paid me," paid for me, more like, and if I didn't stop this line of thought right not I was not going to be able to stomach breakfast, "and now I'm in the Guild."
"Hmm." Dulnea narrowed her eyes at me. "As long as you're away from that sort of thing now."
Desperately wishing I were, I nodded, not trusting myself to open my mouth.
"And how have you..." Dulnea's voice dropped, "your dreams been?"
I'd really meant to scold her for frightening me so, but all my anger faded away when I realised she was genuinely worried about me. "Oh, they're gone," I said airily. "Probably just trouble settling in. Nothing serious."
"That'- that's excellent." Dulnea looked almost more relieved than I'd been. "I'm glad things are going so well for you, dear. Now, I'd best be getting back to work - the mages' breakfast is through here, there are already quite a few people here."
I thanked Dulnea and slipped through the door she indicated into another room, this one dominated by a long wooden table set with various breakfast items - I could see spiced rolls, a jar of scrib jelly, a big bowl of what looked like some sort of porridge, a large teapot with- could it be?
Tea.
"Over here, Adryn."
I blinked, and realised that in my focus on food and divine nectar of the gods I'd totally ignored the people sitting around the table. One of them had just pulled out the chair next to him.
"Thanks, Marayn," I said as I sat down. "Er, can someone pass-"
"Tea coming right up," the Dunmer woman across from me said with a grin as she reached for the pot. "You're not the first person to come here with that expression on your face."
A few moments later I had a hot cup of liquid joy in my hand, and a few moments after that I was in alchemical heaven.
There was the smoky taste - scathecraw, Ajira had said - but it wasn't overpowering. It was balanced by something spicy and a sweetness that wasn't honey or sugar, but the thing that truly offset the acridity was a subtle undertone of something refreshing, the tiniest bit minty and... familiar?
Was that hackle-lo?
I opened my eyes in triumph. Another ingredient down! True, I still had no idea of amount or preparation, but given how unfamiliar I was with local ingredients any progress was something to be proud of.
The other woman giggled, something I might have taken offense to if I hadn't still been kindly disposed towards her for procuring the tea. "I don't think I've ever seen someone drink even Dulnea's tea with such concentration before," she said when I looked at her.
"I'm trying to work out the recipe," I explained. "My pride as an alchemist is at stake."
A scoff from the other end of the table interrupted me.
"Is there a problem?" I asked the Altmer who'd decided to prove he had no manners.
"As if you could," he drawled. "All the best alchemists in the guild - all the best alchemists on this benighted island, in other words - have been trying to work out the mixture to no avail. Anarenen, Ernand, and of course myself have spent hours bending our minds to the task. I can hardly believe some arrogant slip of a girl expects to make progress where we have failed."
Groans and eye-rolls around the table told me this attitude was common and not supported by the other people present, but I still wasn't going to take that lying down. "Well, I can hardly believe the guild employs giant peacocks, I thought it restricted itself to people. Moreover, I thought all of the members had to have something of substance in their heads. Apparently hot air is enough to qualify you."
The giant peacock's head grew red and he subsided as numerous people laughed.
"Nice one! I'll have to remember that," the woman across from me said. "I'm sorry for the idiot, who I happen to have the great misfortune of sharing a guild with. Our Guildmaster says he'll grow out of it one day, but I'm doubtful. I'm Uleni, by the way, Uleni Heleran - conjurer from the Sadrith Mora guild. The idiot is Tusamircil, but we're training him to respond to 'the idiot' so you don't have to bother remembering his name."
"Adryn," I introduced myself, ignoring the sputtering coming from the idiot's general direction. "I, in turn, seem to have the misfortune of sharing a profession with the idiot. I'm an alchemist - well, I guess that's a little obvious."
I grabbed a roll from a nearby basket and looked around. Although there were quite a few people I didn't recognise, there were also some from the Balmora guild there - Marayn next to me, Teleportation Girl scarfing down porridge over there, Galbedir steadily ignoring everyone, Estirdalin (thankfully a few seats away) in deep conversation with an Argonian next to her-
I blinked as I became consciously aware of an absence that had been nagging at me since I came in.
"Where's Ajira?" Hadn't she said she always ate here?
"Oh, she's never here on weekends," Marayn said. "She always goes into the guild straight away on Loredas so she can leave before noon."
Galbedir sniffed. "Some dedication. And she thinks she's ready to become a Journeyman."
I sent as threatening a glare as I could manage in her direction, which she ignored completely. It stung, but I had to admit that I was at a natural disadvantage as far as threatening went - of the two of us she was the one who probably fought Daedra and studied deadly Ayleid artifacts for her living. The Hirtus Figulus, the Enchanter's Apprentice series I'd loved as a child (I could still remember parts of Hirtus Figulus and the Brotherhood of the Bone Hawk by heart) had left me with a healthy respect for enchanters. It persisted despite Galbedir's best attempts.
"Now that's not fair," Marayn said, frowning. "Ajira earns it with how hard she works the rest of the week. Besides, most of us take part of the weekend off."
"Yeah," Teleportation Girl muttered into her porridge, "most of us."
"Still," Galbedir wasn't willing to let it rest, "that, and all the times she 'had to' leave early during the week... don't you wonder what's so important? For all we know-"
"Maybe she has a boyfriend!" Teleportation Girl threw in, a thought that apparently cheered her up immensely. "Oooh, I wonder who it is? I've seen her talking with that handsome young Khajiit who owns the shop next door."
"Well-"
"Seriously, is that all you ever think about?" I asked Teleportation Girl, cutting off whatever poisonous remark Galbedir had been about to make.
"What? It's exciting!"
I was about to make a comment about her dedication to her art if she had let romance novels rot her mind this far when Marayn jabbed me in the side with an elbow.
"Still," Galbedir doggedly refused to let the topic go, "you don't seriously think that's what's keeping her. I mean, don't you know what her mother-"
A new voice joined the fray. "Apprentice Galbedir, if there is a problem with Apprentice Ajira, it is the duty of your guild mistress to address it. Not yours. And all should note it is impolite to gossip about our fellow members' private lives." The Argonian's voice was serene, but with a quiet undercurrent of authority that made everyone subside.
I was a little disappointed the gossip session had been curtailed (Ajira's mother? What about Ajira's mother?) but squashed that feeling down. If Ajira wanted me to know, she'd tell me, same as she'd done about her sister - and it wasn't as if I'd appreciate her digging into my past. Not to mention that whatever it was, I somehow doubted she'd want it laid out before the entire breakfast group by Galbedir of all people.
My side twinged; Marayn had exceptionally sharp elbows. I rubbed it pointedly and stared at him. "What was that all about?"
He looked around. Galbedir was again studiously ignoring us - I hoped she'd keep up with it this time - and Teleportation Girl had gone back to her porridge. "I can't deny that Masalinie is a little silly sometimes," he said quietly. "But it gives her something to do when she has to stand there all day. Being a guild guide is a very important job, but it's also a very boring job, and one that comes with sacrifices. Don't be so hard on her."
"I know I wouldn't be one for love or money," Uleni chimed in. "I see what Iniel has to deal with."
I shrugged. I still thought she could fill her time with more useful things, but it wasn't really something I cared to argue about. I also noted that Marayn hadn't bothered trying to defend Galbedir. "All right, all right. Pass the scrib jelly, would you?"
"You like scrib jelly?" Uleni asked as I slathered some on a roll.
I squashed my impulse to point out that if I didn't, I wouldn't very well be eating it, and just nodded instead. It helped that my mouth was full.
"Do you realise where it comes from?" There was a mischievous sparkle in Uleni's eyes.
I swallowed. "I don't have the faintest idea. My first guess would have been a sort of honey, but the texture is all wrong. Maybe some kind of fruit jam? But it doesn't really taste like fruit..."
"Ooh, no, you're quite far off. Scrib jelly is made from scribs, a kind of kwama." Uleni paused dramatically. "In other words, insects."
I blinked at her.
"You know, insects?" Uleni seemed disappointed by my lack of reaction. "Wriggly animals with lots of legs?" She wiggled her fingers at me in what I decided must be either a dreadful attempt at pantomime or a very strange muscle tic.
"Yes," I said slowly. "I know what insects are, thank you very much. And it's good to know where scrib jelly is from, thank you," I added, wondering if she was looking for acknowledgement. "It explains why it tastes so different. What part of the scrib do you use, and why is it so sweet? Do scribs gather nectar?"
Uleni was still staring at me with a betrayed look on her face - really, what was it she was looking for? Then Marayn started laughing.
"Really, Uleni," he managed, "didn't you realise that playing "disgust the outlander" wouldn't work very well on an alchemist?"
"Aw," Uleni pouted. "People usually have such funny reactions! An Altmer from one of the Cyrodiil guilds actually ran outside to throw up when I did the fingers." She giggled.
"Wait," I said, blinking. "You expected me to be upset by eating something made from insects? But it's not even poisonous, or explosive, or acidic, or still alive-"
At that point I had to stop because I could barely hear myself over Marayn's laughter.
"Point well taken. I'll keep it in mind: you can't shock an alchemist with edibles. Something of a challenge, hmm?" Uleni smiled at me. For some reason, a cold shiver went down my spine at the sight. "Well, I'd best get back. One of the Fighter's Guild members commissioned a custom night eye spell, he said he was going to pick it up this morning. Masalinie, would you?"
Suddenly there was a great hubbub as most of the table seemed to rise to their feet, similar explanations on their lips. "-can't possibly be away from my workstation this long," the idiot was saying pompously, and I caught a Breton talking about how it had been wonderful to catch up but she had a shipment of filled soul gems coming in, so sorry, must rush.
Teleportation Girl scowled for a moment as she gulped down the last of her tea, then she got up and walked to a corner. "All right, all right, one at a time. Anyone going to Ald'ruhn? No? Caldera? Oh, Medila. You know the drill, just step over here-"
In no time at all, most of the breakfast group had vanished into the ether. The only ones left were Balmorans - no, the Argonian was still here. "Thank you for the offer, Masalinie," he was saying, "but I have some business in Balmora this morning. I shall travel back from the guild later."
"I didn't realise you could do that outside the guild building," I told Teleportation Girl. Now that I had a teleportation spell under my belt, I found myself curious about how the guild guide system worked. From everything I'd gathered yesterday, I'd thought the departure and arrival point had to be the stone platform.
"The spell is anchored to a spot, yes, but there's a bit of flexibility," Teleportation Girl explained. "This is about as far as I can get and still connect to the spell matrix. My range is good, too - Iniel can barely get out of the room." She sounded proud. "Erranil, in Ald'ruhn, is best. She says she can get almost to Skar before she loses the magicka flow."
"I had no idea - I thought you could only work from the platform."
"Actually, we'd appreciate it if you didn't let on." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Otherwise half our customers would start demanding special treatment so they don't have to queue at the guild with everyone else. None of us want to get dragged to some Hlaalu House Cousin's bedchamber so his mistress can visit without his wife knowing."
"I should probably take offence at that comment," Marayn mused. "If only it weren't accurate."
"You're my very favourite Hlaalu, don't worry." Teleportation Girl beamed at him. "I believe, I truly believe," she put a hand over her heart as though affirming her honesty, "that you'd make your mistress walk to the guild with everyone else."
Marayn snorted, then turned to me. "More to the point, Adryn, if the flexibility of the system was widely known we might have to shut down the Sadrith Mora point. We only have that under guarantee that it's fixed. It effectively is - like Masalinie said, Iniel doesn't have the sort of flexibility she or Erranil do, and none of them could get out of Wolverine Hall - but the Telvanni would undoubtedly let their paranoia stretch beyond their common sense if they knew. All in all, it's for the best to keep that information in the guild."
I swallowed the last of my scrib jelly roll and nodded. "No problem, I'll keep quiet." I did think that if they were really so keen on keeping this secret, using it every day just so the breakfast group didn't have to walk down the street to the guild wasn't exactly the best of ideas, nor was showing off to random new guild members. I decided not to point this out - Marayn was friendly, but I still didn't think he'd take particularly well to said random new guild member criticising the way things worked.
"Well, it's about time we started heading back," Marayn said. I blinked and looked around. The three of us were the only people in the room. Everyone else had apparently left while we were debating teleportation spells.
Marayn continued, "Dulnea will want to tidy the room soon, and there's undoubtedly already people beating down the doors to get to Vivec. Shall we?"
When we reached the guild common room, I stopped and stared for a few moments.
Occupying the table usually set aside for Marayn's book collection was the biggest bouquet I'd ever seen. Stranger yet was the fact that the flowers were native to Vvardenfell yet I recognised all of them. I recognised them because - I flushed with embarrassment at the thought - two days ago I'd spent all day trying to pick some only to be thwarted by what I was certain had to have been divine interference. Yes, those blue bells were stoneflower - I remembered trying to sneak some when I thought the evil pilgrim hadn't been looking only to discover that, like all good fiends, she had eyes in the back in her head - and the bright yellow petals were unmistakeably gold kanet, and...
Teleportation Girl had bent to inspect the bouquet and discovered a roll of parchment tied to it. Her eyes widened in surprise. "It says it's for you, Adryn!"
"It's - what?" Who on Nirn was sending me flowers? The idea of having a secret admirer was outlandish enough, but I'd been here less than a week! Surely there must have been a mistake somewhere? Or - I swallowed as a truly horrifying idea occurred to me. What if it was Eddie? If anything was worse than the idea of having picked up some stranger as a stalker along the way...
"Give me that," I told the Breton shortly.
Dear Adryn,
I hope you got back to Balmora all right. I'm sorry I couldn't see you back, but duty called. An Armiger's work is never done.
I gave a fervent sigh of relief. "Oh, it's just Ervesa."
"Who?"
I eyed Teleportation Girl with suspicion. Her eyes were shining in a manner I found entirely inappropriate, and I remembered Ajira's warning - not to mention the scene at breakfast.
"Oh, just someone I met on the road." No need to give someone who'd had their brain infected by romance novels ammunition.
"So," Estirdalin this time, and sounding quite a bit less enthusiastic than her younger guildmate, "why is someone you 'just met' sending you flowers?"
I looked back down at the letter.
I hope the flowers arrive in good condition. I ended up walking to Seyda Neen, you see, and saw them by the wayside and remembered you. It's not as if it's much effort for me to pick some if I'm travelling anyway, and after what happened it's probably safest if you don't try to look for them yourself!
"Well, they're the alchemical ingredients I was looking for. I mentioned that I'd had no luck gathering any, and since she was travelling where they grow anyway she decided to pick some on the way as a favour to me - I guess making them into a bouquet was her idea of a joke? I'll have to see if there's anything I can do for her in return, but it's not as if she's..."
"Sending you enchanted jewellery?" Galbedir this time, sounding almost offended.
"Yes, exactly! I-" Looking at Galbedir, I found my gaze arrested by the expensive amulet glimmering with magicka in her hands. "Wait, what?"
"No, really. Why, exactly, is she sending you enchanted jewellery?" Galbedir threw the amulet in my direction with more force than I felt was truly necessary - it was only thanks to my birth-sign I was able to catch it before it hit my head. Attempted murder (or at least concussion) attempts aside, I had to admit that that was a truly excellent question.
"Well..."
There's meant to be an amulet as well, so in case it didn't arrive go complain to the Couriers Guild. That Bosmer gave it to me as a reward for rescuing his friend from the kagouti, but I think it's yours by rights. After all, you were the one who risked your life for him! And Buoyant Armigers don't accept rewards like this anyway.
I meant to give it to you right after you recovered, but with everything else that happened I'm afraid it slipped my mind completely. I hope it comes in handy - it's enchanted with a Slowfall effect, those can be very useful exploring! Although I guess you've had enough of that for a while... otherwise, you can always just sell it.
"It's nothing like you're thinking! It was a reward for rescuing someone from wild kagouti-"
"Rescuing someone? You?" I was impressed at how much scorn Galbedir managed to pack into one syllable. Had she ever considered a career in acting?
"So," Estirdalin interjected again, "if it was a reward for you rescuing someone else, as you say, how did this.... Ervesa... get her hands on it?"
I bristled. I could hear the doubt in everyone's voices and I was growing exasperated by this interrogation. "Look, it's quite simple. Someone asked me to find his friend and I agreed because I didn't know kagouti were involved," or what a kagouti was, and how I wished I could return to such innocent times. "When I found him, we were attacked, and the spell I used to temporarily neutralise the kagouti had some... adverse side-effects. Ervesa, who was passing by, killed it. Apparently they gave her the reward for the rescue, but she sent it on to me because she thought I ought to have it, and because Buoyant Amor- Armigers," I was starting to get the hang of that name, even if it still sounded ridiculous, "have some silly vow of poverty going on or something like that. Now is everyone happy? Can I have my privacy back now?"
The silence following this was broken by a quiet groan from the alchemy corner. I looked over at Ajira and suddenly remembered that she'd warned me about-
"You were rescued by a Buoyant Armiger?!" Oh, no. "That's so-" please don't say it, please don't say it, "romantic!" Teleportation Girl's voice reached a pitch that made me wince.
"Nonononono," I frantically waved my hands as if to blow away all the misunderstandings, "it wasn't like that at all, she was just being kind to a misplaced traveller, the only reason we ended up sharing a room at Desele's was because there wasn't any space in the-"
Oops.
Too late, I clamped my mouth shut.
"Girls these days," Marayn tutted, which I found rather excessive as he was only a few years older than me.
"I can't believe this." The way Galbedir clenched her fists was rather alarming, especially given she'd tried to brain me with an amulet just a minute ago. "Her? What's so special about her?"
"You're all misunderstanding the situation," I moaned. "Seriously, if you'd just listen to me-"
A hand fell on my shoulder. I scowled in the general direction of the perpetrator, finding I had to adjust my glare upwards when it turned out to be Estirdalin.
"My dear," her tone of voice was probably meant to be soothing. It wasn't working. "I know you grew up outside the province, and that this must be hard for you. But Morrowind is a civilised place, you see. You will not face any prejudice here, so there is no need to hide your proclivities - or your relationships - from us. Although," her voice grew stern, "you should learn that there are better places for such... activities than that-"
Desperate, I looked from face to face and decided that the only person who was going to listen to me was Ajira - and judging by the way she was covering her mouth with one paw and how her whiskers were twitching with suppressed laughter there wasn't much hope for sympathy from that quarter either.
All right. That was it. I needed to get away from these people or I'd try to kill something.
"I... need some fresh air," I mumbled, and fled up the stairs.
Upstairs, Ranis Athrys and the Argonian from breakfast were standing near the supply chest, deep in conversation. The impression I'd had of him earlier as someone with authority was borne out - she was listening to him intently, nodding once in a while. I'd never seen her treat any of us with that kind of respect.
Upset though I was, I had no wish to interrupt two high-ranking guild members - even ones who were blocking the corridor - nor to look as though I was eavesdropping. All the same, I really didn't want to go back downstairs.
Wait, didn't this building have another floor?
Indeed, there was another flight of stairs just around the corner. At the top of them I found a small, unoccupied room. Perfect, in other words, to sit for a moment and recover my temper. Why, here was a comfortable-looking chair in front of a desk... a desk with, I noted, Galbedir's mug sitting on it.
Come to think of it, I didn't see Galbedir downstairs all that often. This must be her workspace. Yes, there were a few soul gems scattered around, and here was a sheaf of paper in the same looping script as that on the mug. I peered at them more closely, but they just seemed to be her work notes. No sign of blackmail material. Luckily so - if there had been, Ajira might have been tempted, and that kind of thing never goes well.
I let myself fall into the chair with a groan, hoping Galbedir would stay downstairs for a while longer. Long enough for me to figure out how to handle this situation.
Well, first I could finish reading Ervesa's letter.
I might pass through Balmora sometime in the next few weeks. If so, I'll have to see if I can find you so we can catch up - I enjoyed our conversation, and I think you could do with someone to help you settle into Vvardenfell. If you need to ask me anything, you can reach me by sending messages to the Armigers' Stronghold in Molag Mar - I stop by there regularly.
Your favourite giant insect,
Ervesa
Her name was followed by a doodle of Ervesa in full insect regalia, along with a stylised smiling face.
I let out a sigh.
I wanted to be angry at Ervesa, but I couldn't really. It had been a very thoughtful thing to do, and she could hardly be expected to realise everyone would go all... all... all romance novel fanatic over a few alchemical ingredients and a reward. Besides - I winced - letting the thing about Desele's slip had been entirely my fault. Maybe if she visited she'd be able to explain to Teleportation Girl and the rest that there was really, truly, nothing of that sort going on between us at all, thank you very much - even if they refused to listen to me, they must surely believe my purported partner. Until then...
Despite calming down a little, I still really didn't want to go downstairs and spend the day fending off everyone's misconceptions. Even the prospect of experimenting with the flowers didn't look pleasant with that taken into consideration. Sadly, the alternatives didn't look much better. I didn't like the idea of wandering around Balmora with nothing to do, I certainly wasn't about to venture into the wilderness again, and it wasn't as if I could just pop over to another city on a day tri-
I slapped my forehead.
Of course I could pop over to another city on a day trip. Hadn't I only just now been feeling irritated by Teleportation Girl's romance obsession? Teleportation Girl, who had that nickname because she happened to offer instantaneous transportation to numerous cities on this island? One of them was Vivec, which I vaguely remembered was meant to be the largest city on the island and boast a living god. That sounded like a good destination for a day of sight-seeing for me.
Besides, if it was that big it would surely have an enchanter's shop - somewhere I could sell that amulet. That would do something to stall the rumours, and would bring some coin to my pocket while I was at it. It looked to be worth almost two septims at a fence, meaning I might be able to talk an enchanter up to three or so since I'd acquired it legally - more than doubling my available funds and thereby staving off financial worries for a while.
And maybe I'd be able to meet the Vivec guild alchemist while I was there...
Plan made, I slipped Ervesa's letter into the pocket of my robe, thought for a moment and then fastened the amulet around my neck - it was invisible tucked under my shirt, and with the sturdy silver chain it was probably safer there than it would be in my pouch.
I stood to move back from the desk, but accidentally jolted it. The stack of Galbedir's notes spilled to the floor.
"Scamp drek," I swore. I didn't think Galbedir would take my upsetting her workspace very well and I hardly needed more hostility on that front. I hoped I could manage to put everything back the way it had been. Thankfully, burglaries are good practice on that front.
As I bent to pick up the pages littering the floor, something on the desk caught my eye. Something that must have been underneath the stack of paper. Something glowing-
All the air left my lungs in a whoosh. I felt as if someone had just punched me in the stomach.
It was a grand soul gem. A filled grand soul gem, judging by the glow. And it wasn't the flickering, barely-there light of a lesser soul, either. No, this was a rich golden light that I had never seen before, not even in Svarti's Magicka, Windhelm's biggest and most expensive enchanter's shop (Svarti being the one I could thank for most of my practical knowledge of magical items and soul gems, or more precisely Svarti's bad memory when it came to locking his shop's upstairs window). It must be a Daedric soul, and no scamp's either. Atronach at the very least. Perhaps even the soul of a Golden Saint.
Automatically, my mind brought up the worth of such a soul gem, then reeled at the number. It was such an astronomical sum of money that I couldn't properly imagine it. Well, I'd have plenty of time and reason to try if I just slipped the gem into my pocket - the glow would be a problem, true, but that would be easily mitigated if I wrapped it in-
Wait, stealing something of this value on impulse was a bad idea. Hadn't that been how I'd almost got caught in Seyda Neen? I should prepare, make sure I wouldn't get fingered for it - set up an alibi, make it look like a burglary, find a safe hiding place for it and a buyer. Obviously selling it here was out of the question, but head out to another city- finding a fence for such a valuable object wouldn't be the easiest thing but with my experience-
What was I thinking?
"No," I whispered to myself. "No, no, no." With each repetition I backed away from the desk, staring at the soul gem as if it was a wild sabre cat.
That wasn't me anymore. I was- I was retired. I was a mage now. It wasn't as if I'd ever really wanted to be a thief, I'd just fallen into it out of lack of other options. This was a fresh start with real chances and opportunities, and I was slowly coming to realise just how much I'd needed that. People tolerated me - no, people actually liked me! And Ajira was - time to admit it to myself - becoming a close friend. Was I going to throw that away, steal from my own guild, for the sake of-
Who was I trying to kid? A mage? Me? It'd only be a matter of time until they tossed me out on my ear. So sorry, you don't meet our standards after all. What, you actually thought you could be a proper mage? You're just a jumped-up street rat who's deluded herself into thinking she's an alchemist, useful for a while running errands but not fit to dirty our guild once that's run out.
It would happen sooner or later, what was wrong with making sure I had some insurance-
"No, no, no-"
But- but- but if I started stealing again the Guild would find me, he'd find me, where was I supposed to run from here, what if he- what if all of it happened agai-
"No no nonono-"
Wood, behind me. I'd backed into the wall. No, not the wall- there was something digging into my back-
A doorknob.
I fled.
A brief time later found me sitting on the flat roof of the guild. I wasn't sure how I'd gotten up here exactly; I remembered bursting through the door into sunlight and cool air, but the next few minutes were a bit of a blur.
I took deep, slow breaths. In. Out. In.
Out.
It felt rather as if something had dropped chopped scamp skin into the potion of my mind, and I had to fight to keep the whole frothy mess from exploding on me.
Thankfully, I had practice. It had been a while and hadn't happened like this before, but I'd been having attacks like that all the time after-
No.
I cast about for something safer to think about. What had been going through my mind before I'd gone to pieces like that, anyway?
Right - my sightseeing plans.
"So," I said to the air. My voice was thin. "Vivec."
"Ajira thinks that sounds like a very good idea."
I jerked, and would probably have fallen off the roof if I hadn't remembered exactly where I was at the last moment. I really was in a bad state if people could sneak up on me like that.
"Ajira apologises. She did not mean to startle friend Adryn."
"It's all right," I said. It wasn't Ajira's fault I'd been... distracted.
"It is to be understood that friend Adryn would be upset after... that." Ajira's face set into an expression of distaste, making her whiskers twitch. "It is very rude of the others to demand to know about her personal life that way. Very, very rude to jump to conclusions and ignore her telling them they are wrong. They should learn a sense of propriety." Despite myself, I almost smiled - for a moment, my friend sounded like some scandalised old aunt.
"But," Ajira continued, "that is not the only reason she is upset, is it?" Her green gaze was calm, clear and penetrating; I had to drop my own after a second. "That is all right. It is private, yes? I do not dig into people's private affairs against their wishes. If friend Adryn wishes to tell Ajira, she will. If not, that is fine too."
I felt a rush of affection towards Ajira. If I weren't still feeling shaky, I'd probably have hugged her.
"You know," I said slowly, "someone should really tell Galbedir to store her belongings more securely. I mean, anyone could just- just walk in and grab things off her desk. If there was a thief around-" I couldn't continue. I swallowed, then tried again. "Some of those soul gems are-" My throat closed up. Ajira was still watching me steadily. It felt as if she could see right through me.
"Ajira agrees entirely. Galbedir is very careless about such things, and will not listen to Ajira when she says so." Ajira shook her head in disapproval. "Perhaps she will have a word with the honoured Ranis Athrys later. It will be difficult for the whole guild if something valuable is stolen. But that is not important at the moment, no? Because nothing was. There is no thief here, after all."
"Thank you." The words that escaped me were almost inaudible; I wasn't sure if Ajira could hear them.
"In any case, Ajira thinks going to Vivec is an excellent idea. Friend Adryn has been working very hard the past few days, has been a great help to the guild, even though she is only an Associate. But it is the weekend, everyone takes the time off. Ajira herself is only here to finish up some few things before going home. Friend Adryn should see more of the island, and Vivec is a grand and beautiful city. People come from afar to visit it. And," Ajira winked, "it has many, many shops, selling all sorts of things. Many other alchemists, many apothecaries, and the best bookshop in all of Tamriel."
I perked up. "Bookshop?"
Ajira grinned. "It is in the Foreign Quarter. Jobasha, the owner, if he does not have a book - this does not happen often - he will find it. Jobasha is a good friend of Ajira's, she has known him since she was very small. If friend Adryn mentions she is also a friend of Ajira's, he might not barter quite so hard."
"Ajira, have I mentioned I love you recently?" Getting me an in with the owner of a major bookshop? This was the sort of thing that called for sonnets. Sadly, my own poetic ability was at around the same level's as a giant flea's; under the circumstances, the kindest, most loving thing I could do was to refrain.
If Khajiit could blush, Ajira would undoubtedly be cherry-red by now. "Oh, no. This is only a small thing, a very small thing. And..." Ajira looked down. "Ajira must confess something."
I raised an eyebrow.
"When Ajira sends associates out on errands, she is meant to give them a reward for doing so. Friend Adryn saw, yesterday, with Jamie." I nodded; I had been wondering about that. "Usually, Ajira gives potions. But friend Adryn can make her own, so Ajira could not do that, she had to think of something else. And then friend Adryn ran the alchemy shop yesterday so Ajira could finish her report, which entitles her to a share of the profits. So-"
I stared at the five silver ten-drake coins Ajira was pressing into my hands.
"Ajira, I-"
"Ajira apologises for making friend Adryn wait," Ajira waved off my gratitude. "Although if she really wants to demonstrate her thanks, she could buy the Ascadian Isles volume of Dilavesa Seloth's Guide to the Flora of Morrowind with her new money at Jobasha's. He said he would have it in stock now, and it would be useful to study the flowers on Morndas."
Of course, the flowers. With all the bustle about the amulet and then my- moment earlier, I had entirely forgotten the fact that Ajira and I now had access to yet more genuine native Vvardenfell ingredients. Quite shameful for someone who called herself an alchemist! At least Ervesa's slightly unorthodox storage method meant that they would definitely keep until then.
"I'll do that," I told Ajira. It wasn't as if it buying alchemy books was a great hardship on my part, and I figured it was the least I could do for her.
"Thank you, friend Adryn." Ajira stretched with a yawn that showed off her fangs, then glanced towards the ladder at the edge of the roof. "Although this is a very pleasant break and Ajira is enjoying it very much, she still has much work to do and needs to be getting back to it. And if friend Adryn plans to visit Vivec, she had best leave as soon as possible. Vivec is a big city, she will want much time to explore."
Ajira always gave such sensible advice. It would be positively rude not to follow it.
Chapter 7: Chapter Seven
Summary:
On Ajira's advice, Adryn goes sightseeing in Vivec. This will, of course, go wonderfully and nothing will go wrong at all. Yes. Right.
Notes:
Warnings: Some violence, off-screen sexual harrassment
Author's note: I want to thank everyone who's commented on, followed or kudosed this story! I'm sorry, I'd like to respond to comments but I'm completely crap at doing so, especially in any sort of reasonable timeframe. :( Rest assured that your comments and support mean a lot to me.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
I lurched a little when I came out of the teleport, but managed to keep my feet. It helped that the platform I'd landed on was nearly identical to the one in Balmora, and so the transition was easier than the one to Suran had been.
"Welcome to Vivec, the Guild of Mages hopes you did not find the trip uncomfortable and that you will enjoy your stay, please move off the platform so we can assist further travellers."
I blinked at the Imperial woman - Imperial girl, rather, she couldn't be any older than me - who'd just rattled that off in what seemed like one breath. She looked distinctly bored. I couldn't blame her.
"Thank you," I told her as I hopped off the platform as directed.
"It's what we're here for. Um... do you mind if I ask you something?"
I decided to be kind and not play the 'you just did' game. "Yes... provided it's in within reason," I added quickly. I was still feeling rather scarred by the ridiculous misunderstanding that had taken place earlier, and now that Teleportation Girl, Second Edition had ventured off-script she seemed much less like someone who'd been hit by an incompetent Calm spell and more like a person with a possible streak of mischief or, worse, love of romance novels.
"Don't worry, it's not personal. Although it is pretty strange." She sighed. "I just need to know if you're carrying any pots or pans right now."
"Pots or... " I eyed the girl with an apparent unhealthy obsession with kitchenware warily. "No. No, I am not hiding any crockery in my pockets, I promise. Er... do I even want to know why you're asking?"
"Our glorious leader, Archmage Trebonius, decided in his might and wisdom that he needed to know how many are on the island. I, being only a lowly Apprentice, am of course incapable of understanding why. Maybe there is a danger they will grow legs and start flinging fireballs at us." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm to the extent where I felt as if I could have almost held a vial under her mouth and collected some for alchemical use.
But...
"I'm a new member of the Guild and was thinking of asking for tasks here. I guess you wouldn't recommend that?"
"No. No, I wouldn't. But- wait-" she brightened. "You're a new guild member? I didn't know! What's your name, which guild are you attached to, what do you specialise in?"
"Adryn, I stay in Balmora and I work on alchemy."
"Oh, you might want to talk to Craetia, then. She's our alchemist. I'm the guild guide - well, obviously. I'm Flacassia Fauseius."
I struggled to keep my face straight.
Judging by the look Flacassia gave me, my struggle wasn't quite as successful as I might have hoped. Luckily, she just sighed. "Yes, I know, it's ridiculous. I think my father had built up so much anger because of being called Flaucius Fauseius that he took it out on his children. I even got off lightly, my younger sister's called Flasoniacria. Just call me Cassia, rea-"
In the middle of the word, she just- stopped. Her hands froze in the middle of a sweeping gesture, her eyes stared straight through me, her mouth hung slightly open. It was as if someone had instantly replaced her with a very lifelike wax replica.
"Cassia?" I tried cautiously. "Er, Cassia? Are you all right?" Maybe it had been a defective Calm spell earlier after all?
Then she blinked, awareness and life flooding back into her features. The whole thing reminded me of someone turning off and then turning back on some Dwemer automaton, or possibly an extremely absent-minded necromancer attempting to raise a zombie. I took a step back despite myself.
"Sorry," Cassia said, "it looks as if we'll have to cut this short because I've got four passengers coming through from Ald'ruhn-"
"Right, right, of course. I don't mean to keep you from your job."
As I wandered off, I heard the by now familiar crackle-and-pop of released magicka and displaced air, followed by Cassia's voice going "Welcome to Vivec, the Guild of Mages hopes..."
Turning the corner, I stopped and frowned. The Vivec guild was much grander than the one in Balmora. Sweeping staircases looked down on a large, vaulted, richly decorated hall. There were lush patterned carpets that looked like Elsweyr imports to me, polished marble Cyrodiilic statues, beautifully flowering plants in intricately painted pots which I happened to know were both non-native and alchemically useless... In short, the usual hallmarks of people struggling with the burden of having too much money and positively crying out to be liberated from it. I also couldn't spot any of the detritus of mages studying together in an enclosed area the Balmora guild had managed to accumulate (involving such things as precarious towers of books on the tables and floors, chalk writing on the walls from when inspiration struck and the writing-slate was simply too far away, and the occasional mug of tea or kava that had been abandoned so long ago it tried to hide behind things if you looked at it for long enough). Somehow, that lack made the hall seem empty and unwelcoming despite the lavish decoration.
No, wait - I'd just reached the bottom of the staircase, and from here I could make out the traces of scorch marks on the walls. And that bust of the Emperor had definitely had a close encounter with some sort of Destruction spell. Odd; Marayn and Estirdalin, our Destruction trainers, were always very careful not to cause any damage to the guild when teaching. Maybe the trainer here wasn't so conscientious?
I stumbled. Someone had just bumped into me from behind.
"Oh, and who might you be?"
Now, I admit I had far more experience being on the guilty end of accidental collisions, but this didn't seem entirely right. Shouldn't there be an apology in there somewhere?
I turned around ready to point that out out loud, then stopped.
The man who'd jostled me was an Imperial as big and broad-shouldered as any Nord. Now, I feel the need to point out that my sense of self-preservation has never kept me from my mouthing off to people three times my size. It's usually relatively easy to lose big people by weaving through a crowd or other obstacles, and if all else fails their groins are handily in reach. The robes the man was wearing were another matter entirely. The tightly-woven cloth was a deep, uniform purple. Alinorean purple, I suspected. The dye was notoriously expensive - in Windhelm I'd seen it priced at eight septims an ounce. And then there were the gold buckles inlaid with gems-
I swallowed the accusation sitting on my tongue. I'd been having such a good run of luck in not making any higher-ups angry at me. It would be nice if that could continue.
"Well?" The man frowned at me. What-
Oh, right, he'd asked me a question.
"Er, Adryn. Sir," I added, suspecting some degree of buttering-up was appropriate. "I'm a new guild member. Joined in Balmora."
The man's expression cleared. "Ah, that explains it. Should have known - Ranis is so good at recruiting. Ten new members last month alone! Keep meaning to write her a commendation for that. I'm Trebonius. Archmage. Head of the guild."
Head of the guild? All right, it was definitely a good thing I'd managed to keep myself from snapping at him.
"Nice to meet you. Um, sir," I added quickly. This would be a good time to suppress my natural rebellious instincts.
"It is, isn't it? Now, no worries. I'm sure I'll be able to think of something for you to do."
All the warnings I'd had about the Vivec guild suddenly came together in my mind. The picture they formed was not pretty. Cassia's pots and pans featured prominently.
I really, really had better things to do than keeping a registry of kitchenware.
"Er, no, that's perfectly all right, I'm- I'm really very busy already and-" I stammered.
Trebonius didn't look like he was going for it. "Busy? Ridiculous. Apprentices always think they're too busy, and they never are. Never do anything sensible if you leave them to it, either. Need guidance. Glad to say I'm good at providing it. Now, let me think..."
Please let me get out of this, I prayed. Let him not be able to think of anything. Be interrupted by someone who needs something urgent. Suddenly succumb to narcolepsy. Get sidetracked when the guild is invaded by rampaging kagouti. Anything.
"I have the perfect task for you!"
Apparently the universe was not in an obliging frame of mind.
I squared my shoulders, preparing to become Adryn, second-in-command of the Great Crockery Census.
"Yes, yes, just the sort of small thing to keep an apprentice occupied but too trivial for anyone of higher rank." Trebonius beamed at me. My suspiciously pot-shaped forebodings grew. "Find out what happened to the Dwemer!"
Wait.
What?
There's a children's game in Daggerfall, the sort of clapping game that is so universal Tang Mo and Sload children probably play one but where the exact words used can vary from one street to another. In the orphanage attached to the Temple of Kynareth in the capital, the first verse was:
Tell me where the Dwemer went,
or the last of Falmer fell.
Tell me who the Elder Scrolls penned,
or where dragons now dwell.
We called it the 'game of impossible questions.'
Is it clear what I'm getting at?
"Capital!" Trebonius had apparently taken my expression of 'I wish to know who supplied you with skooma so I can make sure they never do so again' as enthusiastic agreement. "Now that we've sorted that..."
"But, but, but," I spluttered, "no one knows what happened to the Dwemer!"
"Of course," Trebonius frowned at me. "If they did, why would I bother giving you the assignment?"
"But you just said it was trivial-"
The frown started to morph into a scowl. I inched back. Trebonius was surprisingly frightening like this. "Well, obviously if someone like myself actually sat down and thought about the problem in detail, it would be easy to solve. However, it's just not interesting enough for anyone of that intellectual calibre to have done so already."
I feel the need to point out that over the years I spent some time in the Windhelm public library. Not an excessive amount, I hasten to add - certain people's comments about how one day my limbs would fall off to complete my transformation into a bookworm were a cruel and merciless exaggeration - but enough that I am still reasonably familiar with its contents. One of the things I remember quite clearly is that they had an entire bookshelf dedicated to various leading historians, archaeologists, mages, philosophers, and other scholars over the millennia trying to explain the vanishing of the Dwemer.
Trebonius apparently took my stupefied silence to be agreement, because he said, "There, you see? And now I have much more important things to do than to be chatting with apprentices. Ask Malven if you have any more questions. Making excellent progress on that tunnel to the mainland, Malven. Other guild members could learn from her." He turned around and bellowed, "Tiram! Tiram, where have you got to?"
The Archmage wandered away. I stayed standing there, too stunned to move.
"Ah," came a dry voice from my left. "I think I know that posture."
I whirled around to see an elderly Dunmer woman slowly making her way down the outside stairs.
"Tell me," I begged her, "the disappearance of the Dwemer is one of Tamriel's greatest mysteries, right? I'm not imagining things? I'm not losing my mind? Zurin Arctus himself tried to explain it, right? Right?!"
Most people would probably have been rather taken aback by this. She just looked resigned. "And that frame of mind. I assume you have just spoken to Archmage Trebonius."
"Yes. He gave me a task. Is it that obvious?"
"One learns to recognise the signs." The woman pinched the bridge of her nose. Whatever the Morrowind version of chopped blue mountain flower petals boiled together with crushed dragonfly wings - my favourite headache remedy - was, she looked like she needed it. "My name is Malven Romori, a Wizard in the Mages' Guild here. I strongly urge guild members to come to me if they have any problems, as Archmage Trebonius... prefers not to be disturbed with minutiae."
That had to be the most discreet rewording of "we don't know what in Oblivion we did to deserve getting saddled with this man, but we try to keep him away from innocent bystanders" I'd ever come across.
"He does like to assign duties to junior members, however. And," she fixed me with her gaze, "I would like to remind you that Archmage Trebonius is in fact the leader of this guild and is owed respect and obedience. Now if you would follow me, I can... assist you with the details of them."
I would have protested at this point - she couldn't possibly expect me to actually solve the mystery of the Dwemer - but something about her tone made me follow her quietly. Oh, and the fact that a mage with a headache was a mage more likely to start throwing around Destruction spells out of frustration. I'd learned this one from experience.
Malven led me into a room with a large table, then closed the door. "Right. Pull up a chair." She did the same herself. "Now," and her voice took on a despairing tone, "what did he ask you to do?"
"Solve the disappearance of the Dwemer," I said helpfully as I settled into a chair.
"Solve the disappearance of the Dwemer. Of course." The expression on Malven's face said that even a dose of the extra-concentrated, heavy-duty version of my headache remedy I'd made for Ingerte's migraines would not be enough right now. "Perfect job to assign to someone, that. It's not as if it's one of the greatest mysteries of our time." At least I wasn't the only one who could see how ridiculous this was. "Although it could be worse."
I blinked at her incredulously. "Worse? How?"
"Well - as I said earlier, Archmage Trebonius is the Head of Guild and hence owed obedience."
"Wait, don't tell me you actually expect me to-" Nine, please don't let Trebonius be contagious.
"What, solve the mystery of the Dwemer?" Malven snorted. "Of course, and right after that you'll find proof of the Underking's real identity. Or figure out a way to make those blasted interfering Telvanni leave us alone, I'm sure." Her tone indicated the latter was as impossible as the former. "No, what I mean is that although the task is impossible you should at least give the appearance of working on it." Her tone grew stern. "I won't have people ignoring the Archmage. It's bad for morale and undermines the dignity of the guild."
I managed to bite back the question 'even more than Trebonius does by himself?'
"And when it comes to that, the disappearance of the Dwemer isn't such a bad task. Dwemer scholarship is a thriving field, you know, so it's a good area for a new member to get involved in. Our own Edwinna in Ald'ruhn is one of the foremost experts, and always looking for interested apprentices. If you do some introductory reading - try Jobasha for books - and then ask her if you can study with her, I'm sure she'll be delighted to have you. Which means that if Archmage Trebonius asks, you can honestly tell him you are looking into it."
Put that way, solving the Dwemer question was a sight better than Cassia's pots. But... "I'm an alchemist, not a Dwemer scholar," I protested.
Malven raised an eyebrow. "Are you? Well, secondary interests are a good thing to acquire - you can't advance far in the Guild if you don't branch out - and our alchemists aren't of the academic standard Edwinna is."
I wanted to protest on Ajira's behalf, but had to remember her attempt at a formal report.
"Consider that you might instead have been asked to chain dreugh to the canton and make them tow it to a 'more reasonable climate'." Malven's long-suffering expression made me suspect that that example wasn't hypothetical. "No, a background in the Dwemer will serve you well in the future, Apprentice..."
"Adryn," I introducted myself. "And it's Associate, actually. Not Apprentice."
"Associate?" Malven blinked. "But you are involved in tasks for the guild, correct?"
"Well, I've been helping Ajira - the alchemist at the Balmora guild - with her work. Collecting and studying ingredients, selling when she was busy writing reports..."
"And you're still only an Associate? I'll have to ask Ranis what she's thinking." Malven frowned.
I shrugged. Membership in the Mages Guild was still new enough to me that I wasn't all too worried about rank. "Well-"
I was interrupted by what sounded like a small explosion from the main hall, shortly followed by Trebonius' booming voice. "Ah, not that one either! No matter, I'm certain I'll get it this time - and surely we didn't need that statue anyway!" All of a sudden, the scorch marks in the hall made a great deal of sense.
Malven's brows drew together in a scowl. I suspected fantasies of murdering a certain Archmage were going through her head.
"It looks as though I've left the others alone too long. Associate Adryn, I hope I will soon be hearing about your developing interest in Dwemer scholarship. Now, if you'll excuse me..."
After Malven had left to go repair more of Trebonius' disasters, I edged out of the room. Originally, I'd been planning to seek out the Vivec alchemist - Craetia, wasn't it? However, my experiences in the last half an hour or so had led to me formulating a new plan. This one being to get out of this guild hall as quickly as possible before I could get blown up or roped into more impossible tasks turned extracurricular activities by a certain monkey with robes and an unfortunate skill at Destruction, I mean Archmage.
I immediately set about putting it into action.
Thankfully for my temper and continued health (in the form of refraining from screaming insults at my head of guild), I managed to make it out of the guild hall without further incident - unless you counted pausing for a moment on the threshold.
The Vivec guild building bordered on a plaza, maybe a little larger than the square in front of the guild in Balmora. That wasn't in itself shocking, but what had given me pause was that we were still indoors. The plaza was inside a cavernous hall lit by torches and magelights. The ceiling was formed by an enormous dome, its apex so high it was hidden in darkness. I'd never seen anything like it before - whatever building we were in must be gigantic.
A brief look around turned up a building belonging to the Fighter's Guild and two armorers, but nothing that looked like a bookshop, so I followed the steady flow of people heading towards a set of massive double doors and the daylight streaming through them.
When I stepped through, I stopped and stared.
Ahead of me was a covered archway, leading onto a parapet with a low wall at its edge. A very wet parapet; the weather had apparently taken a turn for the worse since that morning. However, even through the rain I could make out a building further ahead - no, building was the wrong word. Building gave one entirely the wrong impression of the scope of the thing. I'd seen smaller castles. And - I squinted through the falling rain - there was a second to its left. Third, really, since I was quite certain I was standing in another right now. And that blurry outline back there might be a fourth-
"Stop standing in the entranceway like a slug, n'wah. People are trying to get by," a strangely muffled voice said from behind me.
I turned around-
Really, what was it with this country and armour that doubled as carnival gear?
The man was wearing a full set of armour that was elaborately detailed and decorated, made of some dark metal but with ornate designs worked on it in gold leaf. Like Ervesa's giant insect costume, someone had taken the concept of a 'helmet' and run with it to the point of insanity - albeit this time in a different direction. Ervesa's bug eyes and mandibles had been replaced by a stylised mask depicting a golden-skinned, rather severe-looking mer, bald save for a gigantic plume - or was that a mohawk? The mask covered the entire head, with only two small holes for the eyes. By all rights, it should have looked utterly ridiculous, yet somehow I didn't feel like laughing at all; the sight of red eyes glaring out of that immovable painted face was surprisingly intimidating.
"Deaf, too. They get worse and worse every day. Move it, outlander, or I'll move you."
Or maybe it was just the attitude.
"I'm moving, I'm moving," I said hastily. Really, he was being unreasonable - I'd been standing to the side, not directly in the doorway, and it wasn't particularly busy right now anyway. I decided to keep that idea private - even I could tell that that wasn't something one should not say to a man with a mace and a bad mood.
Instead, I took a leaf from Ajira's book: I decided to try my hand at being cute.
"I'm really sorry if I was in the way," I made my tone as sweet as possible. "I just got here from the Mages' Guild. I've never been to Vivec before and was just admiring the view. Say, I don't suppose you could help me?" I widened my eyes, remembering the sad kitten look. "I'm looking for-"
"Do I look like a tout?" the mer, who I was coming to think of as Master Grumpy, snapped. "A gondolier? A Hlaalu, maybe? Someone willing to run after n'wah and scrabble in the dirt for the coppers they throw? No? Then why in the name of the holy Almsivi do you expect I'd be willing to-"
I blinked in the face of such naked hostility. All right, apparently cuteness only worked if you had fur. For dark elve- er, Dunmer (I had the sneaking suspicion that if I said the words "dark elf" around Master Grumpy, it would end in tears - mine), it seemed to be counterproductive if anything. Or maybe it was the helmet? Another one for Adryn's alchemical reaction theory of helmets: where steel caused rigid belief in honour and chivalry alongside general stupidity and giant insect armour managed to preserve intelligence but led to giggling, poetry, and sending poor unsuspecting people flowers, carnival masks caused uncontrollable rage.
"Right. Er. Sorry. Didn't mean to offend you," I managed to interject into his rant, inching backwards all the while. "I'll just be going now."
Out of lack of better options, I headed back the way I'd come.
Back in the plaza, I stopped and thought for a bit. Well, I made my way to an out-of-the-way corner first; I could still feel Master Grumpy's eyes on me, and I didn't want to do anything that could be viewed as blocking traffic.
Actually, heading back to the Mages' Guild wasn't such a bad idea, provided I managed to avoid its head. Almost everyone I'd met in the guild thus far was friendly, and therefore hopefully not as inclined to bite my head off if I asked for directions. Moreover, maybe someone could teach me that spell I'd seen Eddie using to keep himself dry. I wasn't particularly looking forward to heading out into that downpour unprotected.
Thankfully, Trebonius was nowhere near when I stuck my head around the door. Instead, an Altmer with her nose in a book was manning (merring?) the desk at the entrance. Sirilonwe, as it turned out she was called, was quite friendly despite my interrupting her reading, and very understanding of my desire to keep both eyes out for a certain Archmage. She even showed me a space behind a large, overgrown potted plant in the corner that she said was easy to flee to at a moment's notice and meant you were effectively invisible to, say, a certain senior mage who might poke their head in from the main hall. Testing this, I noted the cushion on the ground and the well-thumbed book, presumably for those occasions where Trebonius decided to stick around for a little longer.
After considering what life as a native guild member here must be like, I found myself suddenly, inordinately glad that I'd attached myself to the Balmora guild.
Once I was satisfied with the safety measures Sirilonwe taught me the "Rainshield" spell for fifteen drakes, which was less than I'd been expecting. According to her, it was such a popular spell that it had been made as simple as possible. It was definitely very easy to learn - after my experience trying to understand Almsivi Intervention I'd been worried I'd humiliate myself again, but I got the spell on my second try. Maybe I should look into Alteration spells? The only other one I knew was a water walking spell, and I thought I was quite good with it.
When I asked, she gave me directions to Jobasha's - or rather, she tried. Despite my best attempts at listening my concentration failed after she reached the sixth corner, and judging by the length of time she continued talking after that I'd probably be better served looking for it on my own. She also gave me a warning, one which would have been very useful to have heard ten minutes ago. "Be careful with the Ordinators - the guards here, the one wearing masklike helms. They don't like outlanders and they make that very obvious indeed. It's best just to keep your head down and steer clear." Master Grumpy was a guard? Who in their right minds would hire him as law enforcement? More to the point, his attitude was typical? Time to be on my very best behaviour.
I stopped myself from telling Sirilonwe I'd managed to figure the bit about Ordinators out on my own, thanked her and made my way back outside before my luck in the realm of Trebonius-avoiding ran out.
This time, I left the plaza through the other set of double doors, giving all of Master Grumpy's friends a wide berth along the way. I made my way to the end of the overhanging roof, where I closed my eyes and focused on drawing a thin stream of my magicka out of my body... out... into a shell around me... and make it stay-
The magicka I was holding twisted, then cut itself off from my grasp as the spell snapped into place. I opened my eyes to look at the faintly glowing purple bubble surrounding me, then took a few careful steps out from under the roof.
Water hissed against my shield, each drop launching a ferocious attack with all its power only to beat fruitlessly against the spell and finally drip to the ground in ignominous defeat. I grinned. I was Adryn, vanquisher of rain! No mere jumped-up mist could defeat me! No spell was too difficult to learn! No weather, no carnival escapee guards, nothing could keep me from Jobasha's now!
I set off into the rain.
Some time later found me leaning against a wall in one of the so-called "Waistworks" with sore feet, mostly depleted magicka reserves, and decidedly lower spirits. Apparently, although no spell nor weather nor guards could defeat me, my own sense of direction (or rather, the lack thereof) was more than up to the task - especially combined with what I could only refer to as architectural sadism on the part of whoever had designed this place.
The building, or rather 'canton', we were in had several floors. The topmost was the plaza I'd already been in, all the others were a warren of narrow corridors and arched wooden doors hiding shops and housing. Everything was kept scrupulously clean, which also meant all of it looked exactly alike. Well, they could probably afford to pay an army of cleaners - they must save a fortune on vermin extermination. I imagined any rat that found its way here would immediately turn tail and run, squeaking the rodent equivalent of "too confusing! I'm going home!" all the while. The fact that people voluntarily lived here just goes to show that we can be remarkably stupid sometimes.
To make matters worse (why? They were bad enough already!), the floors were connected via a bewildering maze of stairs, ramps and the occasional ladder, half of which went outside for - as far as I could tell - the sole purpose of making certain the unfortunate newcomer spent as much time either getting drenched or expending their magicka to keep from getting drenched as possible. If people in Windhelm built this way, half the city would freeze to death in the winter!
I'd spent the last few hours repeatedly casting my rainshield spell as I wandered in circles, somehow finding myself more rather than less lost every time I ended up somewhere I'd already been. The only break I'd had came when I spotted a sign for an apothecary and promptly wandered in.
I'd ended up having a nice chat with Aurane Frernis, the owner. Although she was a Breton, she'd been born on Vvardenfell and didn't know much about ingredients from elsewhere other than the few that were imported. We worked out something of an information trade on that basis (one where I thought I'd come off better, since I doubted Aurane would have occasion to use Nordic barnacles anytime soon). Her shop seemed to be having a slow day, so I managed to pick up quite a few useful tidbits without interruption.
Alas, all good things must come to an end. In this case, the end had come while Aurane was talking about golden kanet. Thinking of the bouquet awaiting me back in the guild, I'd asked her to refrain from telling me about its alchemical uses - Ajira and I were looking forward to finding those out on our own, after all - but she knew a lot about where to find it.
"...grows widely in the Ascadian Isles and parts of Azura's Coast, but I prefer to get mine from the Sheogorad islands - they make for slightly stronger potions. That said, the varieties of gold kanet in the Ascadian Isles are quite heterogenous, and it's quite possible some of them are just as potent. There's one that grows near Bal Ur, called 'Roland's Tear', which I've been meaning to test for absolutely ages... come to think of it!" She brightened. I didn't. I had a horrible suspicion as to where this was going. "You could go collect some for me. It's really not very far from Vivec, I'd go if I could leave the shop alone that long. I'd reward you well."
For once, even the word "reward" didn't make me even remotely inclined to agree. Any possible daydreams of fat purses were ruthlessly strangled out of existence by the horrible memories of exactly what had happened the last time I'd gone on a harmless, easy trip to collect some gold kanet.
"No!" I yelped.
Noticing Aurane's unimpressed stare, I quickly followed that up with, "I mean, I would, but it's really far too dangerous and-"
"Oh, pish," Aurane waved her hand dismissively. I scowled at the gesture. Clearly, this was someone who had no idea of the horrors flower-picking entailed. "It's harmless. The flowers grow well away from the Daedric ruin, and people say the Dremora hardly ever stray from that-"
Daedric ruin?
Dremora?
Needless to say, at that point I'd quickly manufactured an urgent appointment I had to get to - so sorry, entirely forgot, absolutely no time to go battle Dremora for the sake of alchemical research today, perhaps you should inquire at the Fighter's Guild instead? And a few minutes later - and ever since - I'd been back in the corridors, the endless maze, the quite possibly a plane of Oblivion I'd accidentally wandered into (it would explain the Dremora.)
"-I feel sorry for him, but Shor knows it was impossible to make a decision in that environment-" That accent was decidedly familiar. I looked up.
Two Nord women were moving along the corridor at a brisk pace. A few hours ago, back when I was still young and innocent, I might have tried to follow them in the hopes of them going somewhere useful. Now, however, I knew better. Apparently all the natives could walk through walls. At least, this was the only explanation I had for the amount of times I'd tried to tag along with someone only to be standing alone in an empty corridor. Or there'd been the time outside where the mer had headed straight for the parapet and then levitated up to the next level, leaving me gaping behind.
(Technically, I supposed, I could do the same for getting to the lower levels with my amulet. However, I hadn't reached the point of throwing myself off high places with only an untested magical artifact of dubious provenance between me and certain death. Not yet, at any rate.)
"Well, don't worry," the taller one was saying. "There are other enchanters. One wouldn't want to go to the Telvanni canton, true, but the Temple or the-"
Wait, there was an enchanter around here? Speaking of untested magical artifacts of dubious provenance, in particular the turning of such into shiny coins...
"Excuse me, did you say there's an enchanter's shop nearby?" I asked.
The one who'd just been speaking stopped, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Why, yes. It's-" I braced myself for a long list of bewildering directions culminating in 'walk through the nearest wall'- "just down this corridor. Go past this corner and then head straight, you can't miss it."
"Really? Thanks so much!" I beamed at the first comprehensible directions I'd heard all day.
"But wait, there's-" I was too busy rushing down the corridor to make out the rest.
Indeed, a bit further along there was the same sort of sign made out of cloth I'd seen outside all the shops here hanging against a wall, with a symbol denoting what it sold along with the same spelled out in Daedric letters. I couldn't see what was on it, however, as a Breton had decided this was the perfect spot to lean against and take a break.
Well, he wasn't an Ordinator, and the Nords had been friendly enough...
"Excuse me, is this the enchanter's?"
The Breton leapt away from the wall with alacrity. "Fair lady! Flower of Morrowind!" He swept into an extravagant bow that put me dreadfully in mind of Eddie. On the bright side, it meant I could finally see what was on the sign - yes, written below a symbol I didn't recognise was 'Miun-Gei, accredited enchanter. Will buy and sell enchanted items and scrolls, custom work available'. Someone had pinned a piece of parchment next to that. It read, 'Soul gems not supplied. Customers must bring filled soul gem for commissions. No exceptions.'
"Can you find it in your generous heart to spare a coin for a struggling actor?" The Breton finally came out of his bow, cap in hand. I groaned at the sight. It must have been on the ground in front of him - if I'd spotted it, I would have tried to sneak past.
"No," I answered him flatly.
He gasped dramatically, clutching the front of his shirt. "Ai! You wound me, fair maiden! Those harsh words - like a dagger through my heart! Yet I am sure that buried beneath such a stern countenance lies a gentle soul-"
Yes, this was definitely Eddie the Second. Except this time I found myself sadly devoid of allies, scout and silt-strider alike.
"-as fair and kind as Inzoliah, and I her most devoted servant Malvasian-"
Wait a minute.
"Inzoliah and Malvasian? Didn't they try to kill each other over money?"
The man's eyes lit up. "Ah! A connoisseur! A patron of the fine arts!"
Did he just say patron of the fine arts? If knowing basic character and plot details of one of Tamriel's most popular plays counted as such, the state of theatre must be much worse than I'd thought.
"No, I just haven't been living under a rock," I snapped.
Not-Eddie ignored me. "Surely one so cultured, so sophisticated as you will be able to understand my artistic vision! Theatre troupes throughout Tamriel perform A Hypothetical Treachery as a black comedy. Pah, I say to that! That idea is bland as barley soup, outdated as the plays of Baloth-Kul. What if one were to perform it as a tragic romance - Inzoliah and Malvasian the star-crossed lovers, kept apart by cruel fate! I am sure it would receive great acclaim..." His shoulders slumped. "If only I could find a troupe willing to attempt it..."
He appeared quite distracted with his misfortuntes. I approved. It gave me the chance to make an unnoticed escape into the enchanter's shop.
I shut the door behind me with a sigh of relief at having a barrier of solid wood between me and Eddie the Younger, then looked around.
The small room was crammed. Next to stacked crates were shelves which were laden with all sorts of objects, from a long spear to a child's tunic to a stack of scrolls in one corner. The one thing they had in common was that they all gleamed with magic. The light combined with that of the numerous magical lamps of all shapes and colours to make me squint and wonder whether migraines were an occupational hazard for enchanters.
If they were, it might explain this enchanter's appearance. Behind a wooden desk stood an Argonian who looked distinctly frazzled. I should admit at this point that I didn't know many Argonians and their body language was notoriously different from that of the warm-blooded races, so that estimation should probably be taken with a grain of salt. All the same, I'd never seen one with such a drooping head-frill before, and I guessed the fact that his scales were pearly blue on most of his body meant that the ones on his face should not be that unhealthy-looking pale grey colour. To say nothing of the way his beard-tendrils kept curling and uncurling.
"Er, hello?" I tried.
He jumped and stared at me for a moment, then collected himself. "A customer! My apologies, my apologies. I am Miun-Gei, enchanter. My specialisation lies in magical lighting," well, that explained the headache-inducing surroundings, "but I have a large variety of items available in other areas as well. What brings you to my shop?"
"I'd like to sell this amulet," I said, undoing the clasp at the back of my neck and handing it to him.
"Ah! Give it here- yes, yes-" Miun-Gei lifted the amulet up and inspected it closely. "A Slowfall enchantment, yes? Nicely done, anchored tightly into the stone - emerald, a good choice for such work. Now, as for the faceting-" He hummed slightly, reaching for a magnifying lens on the desk. I had to smile when I realised that his frill was perking up as he talked - talked to himself, really; he seemed to have entirely forgotten I was there in his enthusiasm.
"O noble sir! Spare a coin for a struggling actor?"
Eddie II's voice barreled through the door and shattered the companionable atmosphere like an angry kagouti. Miun-Gei dropped the lens, which fell back onto the desk with a loud clunk.
"Oh, curse that buffoon," he muttered, one hand reaching up to tug repeatedly at one of his head-spikes as if for comfort. Then he shot a glance at me and let the hand fall. "Many apologies, honoured customer. Please do not mind these- minor interruptions-"
"Don't worry, I tangled with that man on the way in," I said sympathetically. "Take your time."
"Take your time, yes..." Miun-Gei repeated absently, attention once more fixed on the necklace. "A Slowfall enchantment. Quite strong, with a very large reservoir of magicka - no rat's or nix-hound's soul went into the making of this. Dreugh, perhaps? Or a scamp? Let us see..."
He muttered several arcane-sounding syllables, causing sparkling white light to grow around his free hand as I watched in fascination. I'd known that there was a spell which enchanters used to discern the exact details of an enchanted item, but this was the first time I'd ever seen it in action.
"They say/ the Iliac Bay/ is the place to barrel around/ without a bit of apparel on-"
Sweet Stendarr's mercy, now the man was singing.
The spell fizzled with a pop. For a moment, the spines of Miun-Gei's frill shifted forward into what I recognised as a threat position, his lips peeling back to reveal a row of very sharp teeth as he hissed. Then he relaxed with what looked like a major effort of will.
"No matter, no matter! Miun-Gei shall try again!"
Miun-Gei closed his eyes in concentration, cupping the amulet in one hand-
I cringed, instinctively raising my hands to cover my ears, as the unmistakeable sound of a shawm penetrated the door. A badly-played shawm, at that. I hadn't spotted the instrument among the actor's possessions on my way in. I'd have to see if I could when I left, because I was relatively certain that using my Firebite spell on it would qualify as a civic duty.
Miun-Gei stood still as a statue for a moment as his second spell fizzled. Then he let the amulet fall onto the desk and dropped his head in his hands. I'd heard that Argonians lacked tear ducts and couldn't cry, but judging by the sounds he was making they could at least manage a very good impression.
"Um," I said hesitantly. "Are you all right?" I'd known people who could work through the sound of a Nord wedding, but I'd always been the opposite - noise my friends could happily ignore left me flinching and covering my ears. It looked as though Miun-Gei was the same.
"No," Miun-Gei said, voice muffled. "Miun-Gei is not all right. Miun-Gei has not been able to make a single sale since yesterday because of that, that buffoon. It decided in front of Miun-Gei's shop is the perfect place to set up and 'show off' her 'acting skills'. And now Miun-Gei cannot focus long enough to inspect new items, to give customers an overview of its wares, to barter."
I took a moment to parse that speech. Apparently Miun-Gei had the ever-so-slightly idiosyncratic approach to gendered pronouns that you sometimes heard among his race, the one that made me seriously wonder about the Argonian life-cycle.
"Have you tried talking to law enforcement?" I suggested, trying to take my mind off certain possibilities involving egg-laying which I really didn't want to think about in too much detail.
"The Ordinators? They came and said it was a 'permissible' level of noise." Miun-Gei sounded gloomy. "I am not certain whether they allowed it because Miun-Gei is an outlander and they do not care about outlanders, or because the noise is really not that bad. Miun-Gei is... it overreacts, sometimes." That last was said in a sing-song tone that made me think the Argonian was repeating something he'd been told. I felt a sudden burst of sympathy.
Miun-Gei raised his head, although he didn't meet my eyes. "Many apologies, honoured customer. One way or the other Miun-Gei will not be able to trade today, she fears."
"I understand," I said. "It really sounds as if you need to take a break - somewhere quiet - for a bit. Is there anything I can do to help?"
I snapped my mouth shut, but the traitorous words had already escaped. See, this is what happens when you indulge in sympathy for other people - outbreaks of altruism. Worse, Miun-Gei was visibly brightening. Apparently he had something in mind and hadn't noticed my recoil.
"The buffoon is looking for work in theatre, he says. He believes besieging my shop will find it a troupe. Thus, if an employer is found, it will leave and Miun-Gei will be able to do business again. Miun-Gei would be very, very grateful if the honoured customer looked for someone who wishes to hire an actor. If this succeeds and the buffoon leaves, there would be a reward."
Well, that wasn't as bad as I'd been expecting. The magical word "reward" had been spoken - although I really did plan not to let that override my common sense again - and it wasn't as if asking around would be difficult. Except... "I'd love to help, really," I said, exaggerating somewhat, "but I'm getting lost every time I turn around. I can't find anything, let alone someone hiring actors, in this maze you call a city."
"Oh, of course, you are new here." Miun-Gei winced as the shawm struck a particularly flat note, then continued gamely. "Miun-Gei has not lived here that long either, but he learned an easy trick for getting around. It is this: when you need to go up or down a level, use the ramps on the outside of the cantons. Only go inside to search once you are on the right level. It is much less confusing that way."
I blinked. With the rain, I'd tried to stay inside as much as possible. I hadn't considered that this might be adding to my difficulties.
"Thank you! I'll-"
A particularly loud blast of 'music' from outside had both of us cringing. Miun-Gei gave the door a desperate look. I decided that curtailing the usual farewell pleasantries was allowable in certain situations and this was definitely one of them.
A short time later, I'd managed to shake off Eddie's long-lost twin again and stood outside. Although the clouds still hung thick and grey overhead, the rain had finally stopped - luckily so, as I wasn't feeling up to casting the rainshield spell many more times. My magicka reserves were feeling rather low, and the last few hours had been so full of stress, more stress, and running around that the rate at which I was recovering magicka could be more accurately summed up as 'not'.
Ingerte's face swam into my mind. She'd always said that she really didn't care if I hated my birthsign, trying to make myself into an Atronach-born by stunting my magicka regeneration through stress wasn't the answer-
My stomach growled, providing a very useful distraction. I looked down at it ruefully. Apparently I needed to find a nice quiet place to take a break for more reasons than refilling my magicka pool.
I just hoped that Miun-Gei's advice worked, or else I'd probably end up starving to death in the maze of corridors and having my corpse spat upon by Ordinators.
Miun-Gei's advice worked.
The outside of the canton was far, far less confusing than the inside. The main issue was that the ramps to get from level to level were well-hidden indeed - it took quite a bit of me circling around in confusion before a stray draft caught my attention. But after that, navigating the canton became much easier and in what felt like no time at all I'd reached the bottom level.
In front of me was a broad marble bridge, leading to the next canton - one that looked very, very similar to the one I'd just exited, with perhaps one less level and more decoration in the form of hanging red flags depicting some sort of stylised insect. To the side, there was a rickety wooden platform with stairs leading down to the water. Wandering over, I saw a small dock and a ladder leading down to a maze of wobbly rope bridges and rickety boardwalks which connected the cantons with wooden platforms and anchored boats of all shapes and sizes.
I looked down at the web of pathways spanning across the water, then looked up at the other canton.
There really was no decision to make. At least in one of the labyrinths, I'd be able to see the rest of it.
A while later found me glad for the choice, because I was making actual progress for once. Although I had to admit that the upkeep of the paths was not always what it should be. My birthsign and its gift of agility came in handy more than once when I had to bridge gaps or climb up to a platform, and on occasion I even found myself having to reach into the last remnants of my magicka pool for my water-walking spell - one I try to avoid using if I can. Standing on waves makes me queasy, and Alteration spells like that have a tendency to suddenly wear off when you're not expecting it.
(Not, I feel the need to point out, that I'd know from experience. There was never an incident where I was showing off my new knowledge and forgot to keep track of the spell, and it definitely did not end with me falling straight into the river and Fjaldir needing to fish me out. And he most certainly was not laughing the entire time.)
Even with the poor maintenance, I was by far not the only one who'd decided to brave the water rather than the cantons. And overall the others seemed more... well, my sort. Less people wearing fancy robes, more in plain clothes suitable for an honest (or dishonest) day's work. The snatches of conversation I overheard had less to do with the price of enchanted items and more with the price of bread or the day's fishing... along with rumours of some sort of serial killer having struck in the Arena canton, a place I immediately decided to avoid. At one point I even snagged the wrist of a young Dunmer girl, the hand it belonged to being on my purse at the time. I let her go with an admonition and a few tips on pickpocketing technique, which I told her to go try out on people who weren't me.
(To paraphrase a well-known saying: give a street kid a drake and she'll be hungry again in... actually, she'll never stop being hungry. Teach a street kid to steal and she can get her own drakes - and get them from purses fat enough that their owners really ought to be donating to soup kitchens anyway, for that matter. Everyone wins!)
There were a lot of Dunmer around, a fact that first surprised me, then followed that up by surprising me through having surprised me (an underhanded move I felt should be made illegal in the art of cogitation). After all, I was in Morrowind. I was even beginning to get used to that fact. Seeing a crowd mainly of my race shouldn't be so shocking. But...
Thinking back, so far almost everywhere I'd been had been dominated by other races. I still remembered realising that little Llavani was the first Dunmer I'd seen after having spent several hours in Seyda Neen. In fact, the only other I'd met in my whole time there had been Darvame. Less than half of the Balmora mages were Dunmer, even if you counted me - and if what I'd seen at breakfast and at the Vivec guild was any sample, then that proportion was if anything even smaller in other guilds. From what I remembered, the crowds in Balmora had been similarly diverse... the ones in the canton I'd exited earlier definitely had been. Yet here, at least four people in five were Dunmer.
As if to emphasise my discovery, I heard a language I didn't recognise showing up in conversations around me. It must be Dunmeris, which I'd read was still widely spoken in Morrowind. But if it was so widely spoken, why was this my first time hearing it?
I really should get around to reading up on local politics. I had the sneaking suspicion that they were important.
My stomach growled again.
All right, there were a few things that were more important.
When I reached a Redguard street vendor, I immediately spent a few drakes on roast slaughterfish and greens wrapped in flatbread and garnished with a spiced lemon sauce. It was delicious - the sauce was flavourful without being overwhelming, the fish was tender and juicy and the greens gave a very satisfying crunch when I bit into them. Never to mention that the taste of someone attempting to approximate northern Hammerfell cuisine with totally unsuitable ingredients was quite nostalgic, although I had to admit this man was doing a rather better job than Charon (whose many attempts at a barley-based couscous substitute are not among my happiest culinary memories).
I asked the vendor about his recipes and spent most of my lunch being regaled with talk about the Sentinel-Morrowind trade lines and how a good friend of his outside Almalexia on the mainland was having some success growing citrus trees. When I was finishing, the conversation had just turned to his disgust for a local tavern's kitchen practices ("they'll keep slaughterfish magically frozen for months before they finally serve it! Me, I have a deal with some of the local fisherfolk down near St. Olms', I swear to Zenithar everything I sell is fresh out of the sea-"). After I gulped down the last of the food, I managed to interrupt with another question.
"A theatre troupe?" he asked, frowning. "You an actor?"
I shook my head. "I'm looking for... someone else, as a favour." I decided not to go into detail. It wasn't really important, and poor Miun-Gei didn't need his misfortune trumpeted around the city.
"Well, in that case - I've heard Crassius Curio is looking for actors to perform one of his new plays. He's up in Curio Manor, in Hlaalu canton."
I found myself torn. On the one hand - that was a lot easier than I'd expected. On the other... in Hlaalu canton. I'd just escaped the hell that was trying to navigate a canton, I was not at all eager to go back.
"How hard is it to find?" I asked warily.
"How h- oh, of course, you're a newcomer. Not hard. Curio Manor is on the plaza at the very top, the open part. You can almost see it from here, actually."
I craned my neck and stared in the direction he indicated. Indeed, unlike the canton I'd spent my morning in, the one he was pointing at had no dome at its top - it might very well be open to the sky, I couldn't tell from my perspective. It looked very similar to the first canton in all other respects, so Miun-Gei's advice should still work...
Although really, it couldn't be much past noon. There was plenty of time to go sight-seeing first, surely?
I was still trying to gather the willpower I needed to voluntarily set foot in a canton again when a raindrop hit my nose. Next to me, the Redguard groaned and retreated underneath an awning. Apparently the weather's compassion had grown thin.
Curio Manor it was, then.
The guards stationed at the manor door snickered as I left. I tried to glare them into submission. It would probably have worked better if my face hadn't been burning.
One last wave of chuckles came when I stumbled over the doorsill and almost fell. Poor showing for someone with my birthsign, but it's hard to watch where you're going when you're busy fleeing a place as if the hordes of Oblivion are on your heels.
At this point most people would say that comparing a relatively short, chubby Imperial to a Daedric army might be unfair. And indeed, it probably was - to the Daedra. I'd heard Ogrim, for instance, were supposed to be quite straightforward creatures. They wanted to crush you to goo, and they went about that in a clear, honest way (by attempting to crush you to goo). They did not pinch you (except as it pertained to crushing you to goo) and definitely did not pinch a body part where the only thing I wanted to touch it was the seat of a chair.
And, of course, no Daedra had ever called me...
"Dumpling. Dumpling. I'll dumpling him! He'll wish he'd never even heard of dough when I'm through with him. He'll be petrified by pots. Cry when he sees a cook. Hide under the settee at the swing of a spatula-"
I noticed people were giving me wary looks and a wide berth, a fact that might have to do with the way I was muttering angrily to myself while clenching my fists. Moreover, several Ordinators were standing off to one side watching me. The sight of so many of those blank masks turned in my direction served to cool the worst of my rage.
I leaned against a wall and took stock of my situation.
On the Aedra's side, I'd accomplished what I came for. Crassius Curio had apparently spent some time and effort trying to put a theatre troupe together. When I'd told him about an actor looking for work and given him the leaflet, he'd sent someone out to collect the man straight away. Quite frankly, I wasn't sure if I should be happy because they deserved each other or afraid that they'd end up making each other even worse, but in any case Eddie's magically-created offspring (what woman would go near him?) was now out of Miun-Gei's spikes.
On the Daedra's, after Curio had sent his servant out, there had been... remarks. Suggestions. Gestures. Nicknames. Pinches. All of which I was going to erase from my mind as contaminants right around... now.
So really, this had been a roaring success, bar certain incidents I seemed to have come down with a strange case of amnesia about. I should head back to Miun-Gei's and collect my reward. The rest of it, really, since Curio had already given me a thin book during the course of a conversation I'd mysteriously forgotten the details of. I'd been starved for reading material of late, I wasn't going to turn down...
What sort of a title was The Lusty Argonian Maid?
I cracked it open for a skim-
Oh.
Horrible memories of That Night In Suran danced, cackling, in my mind.
You know, there were people who would appreciate this... work of art far more than I would. Places, too. The sea outside came to mind. Or possibly the sewers. It would be positively selfish of me to keep it from them. Of course, it was a hard decision - there were also numerous possibilities involving privies...
First, though, Miun-Gei's.
A thought went through my mind, one where I was sure I hadn't the slightest idea what spurred it:
The reward for this one had better be good.
I blinked at the sign in front of me, pondering the universe. In particular, its sense of irony in the way you only find what you're looking for once you've stopped actually looking.
In between being told to solve one of the greatest mysteries of Tamriel, raising the art of getting lost to towering new heights, hunting for theatre troupes, and finally getting accosted by pinching nobles with a penchant for pastry-based namecalling, I'd entirely forgotten the reason I'd originally come to Vivec. After finishing up with Miun-Gei, I'd planned to head back to Balmora straight away.
Alas, his tips for navigating cantons didn't help much with the interior. I hadn't managed to find his shop again. Instead, I'd wound up here.
I looked at the sign again. There it was: Jobasha's Rare Books.
I shrugged. If the universe wanted to help me out for once, I wasn't going to complain.
Down a flight of stairs, I found myself confronted by bookshelves. Jobasha was likely behind them, I should go and ask him-
He had a complete set of The Real Barenziah! The Windhelm library had been missing the fifth volume, and I'd been very bitter about never finding out how the story ended. And - was that a biography of Pelagius the Mad? It would be interesting to know more about the emperor who gave rise to the holiday I'd loved when I was living in Daggerfall. And over there, a book on Akavir!
"Jobasha wonders if the Dunmer is interested in buying anything?"
I straightened guiltily from where I was perusing the books. "I'm sorry, I got sidetracked. Yes, I'm looking for..." I fished the scrap of paper I'd used as a list out of my pocket. "The Ascadian Isles volume of Dilavesa Seloth's Guide to the Flora of Morrowind, Saryoni's Sermons, Cantatas of Vivec, Doors of the Spirit, and..." I remembered the incident in the Mages' Guild this morning. "Do you have any introductory texts on the Dwemer?"
"Yes, yes," Jobasha said from behind a bookshelf. He'd started running around fetching books when I listed the first title. "Two suitable for a beginning student, Jobasha thinks. Antecedents of Dwemer Law, it is about the Dwemer legal system and how one can trace it to the Aldmer. Very accessibly written, with a lot of remarks about general Dwemer culture. Ruins of Kemel-Ze, that is different - it is a report by an archaeologist, on the excavation of a Dwemer ruin. Not a scholarly text by any means, but the descriptions are very detailed, good to get an overview, and of some... historical interest. Jobasha thinks it could be quite... illuminating." Jobasha seemed on the verge of saying something else, then changed the subject. "You are studying the Dwemer?"
"What? Oh - yes, I'm a new member of the Mages' Guild. An alchemist, really, but some of the higher-ups thought it would be a good idea for me to, ah, learn about the Dwemer as well. My name is Adryn," I introduced myself.
"So you are Adryn. I see. I see." Jobasha's whiskers twitched.
My hackles rose. "You've heard of me?" How and why could he have heard of me? I had trouble thinking of any reason that would end well-
"It is quite simple. Jobasha had a very good friend, one who was so close she could have been his sister. When she died some years ago, Jobasha grieved very much and promised her spirit he would look after the daughters she left behind." Jobasha sighed. "He has not always done so well at that as he would like, but he does try to look in on Ajira when he can. The last time he did so was Turdas, when he had some business with Dorisa Darvel in Balmora. Ajira was full of news of her new friend Adryn, who had helped her with her experiments the day before and was gathering ingredients for her just then."
All right. That worked.
I relaxed. "I forgot - Ajira mentioned you. Yes, she's a good friend of mine."
"Jobasha is pleased to hear that," Jobasha said. "He is of the opinion that Ajira could use more friends. She disagrees, but - kits. They always think they're already grown and don't need anyone's help."
If Ajira wasn't my age, she couldn't be more than a year or two younger - hardly what I would call a 'kit'. I suspected trying to argue the point would only get me put into that category with her, though, and forced myself to remain diplomatically silent with an effort of will.
After a moment, Jobasha turned back to the books. "Will that be all, or are you interested in anything else?"
I looked at the stack on the table. After a brief but vicious internal struggle (I lost), I added the fifth volume of The Real Barenziah to it. The resulting pile looked slightly higher than I could really afford. Following some perusal and hard thought, I removed Cantatas of Vivec - it seemed interesting, but epic poetry was not entirely to my taste and the other two books Ervesa had recommended looked more useful as introductions to the local religion.
"And the book under your arm?" Jobasha inquired.
I blushed. I'd entirely forgotten that I was still lugging Curio's magnum opus around with me.
"It's not yours - it's, er, I encountered Crassius Curio earlier today and he gave it to me-" I found myself eager to disavow responsibility.
"May I see?"
"Quite frankly," I said, passing it to him, "you can have it. Although I'm not sure you'd want to."
Jobasha leafed through it. His face betrayed nothing, a fact that already made him a better actor than Eddie's cousin. "Yes, yes - definitely Curio's work. The man is well-known as an amateur writer, quite an... enthusiastic one. Well, there are some interested."
"Seriously?" I asked, then bit my lip. Although I think of it as a perfectly sensible question, asking things like this often nets me any number of unpleasant reactions, from disbelief to ridicule and outright mockery. Worst, I think, are the ones who dismiss me by telling me I'll understand eventually - as though I, a grown adult, am a child to be patted on the head and told 'when you're older, sweetie'!
Luckily, Jobasha took it in stride. "Quite. Jobasha has a section set aside specifically for such works." He nodded to a bookshelf in the corner, set somewhat apart from the others. "In fact, I have the uncensored version of The Real Barenziah available there, if you- no? Very well. In any case, I will happily take the script to make up a portion of the price."
His eyes roved over the stack of books on the counter, then over me. I straightened and tried to look like an tough, hard-bitten bartering veteran, someone who would haggle a highwayman down to 'a quarter of your money or a nonlethal wound in a limb of your choice!'
"That will be one septim and eighty drakes in total."
I gulped.
In the end, I argued him down to a septim and a half. I felt more than a twinge of reluctance when I passed him all the money Ajira had given me along with one large gold septim coin from my pouch. Silently, I cursed my literary addiction, in particular how it had led to me spending almost half the money I had on books. I needed to find some sort of regular income - maybe I could strike a deal with Ajira? I hadn't exactly enjoyed selling potions (understatement), but it was better than ending up destitute.
This made it even more important to find Miun-Gei's. Even if the reward ended up only being copious thanks, if I sold that amulet I should still be able to end the day with more money than I'd started it with.
Wait, Jobasha was getting something from one of the bookshelves behind his desk.
"And of course, there is this. A chronicle of events at a Dwemer settlement in the First Age - this edition was translated from Aldmeris into Tamrielic in the early years of the Third Era."
I looked at the thick book Jobasha laid on the desk. In particular, I looked at the aged, cracked leather of the cover and the flaking gold-leaf letters inlaid in it which spelled out "Chronicles of Nchuleft". It reminded me of some of the books I'd seen in the Windhelm library - seen, not read, because those were the books the senior librarian refused to let you within a ten-foot distance of without a letter from someone like the Archmage of the Skyrim Mages' Guild attesting that you were both desperately in need of consulting them and would treat them like they were made of glass (and not the volcanic kind). Alas, she'd been very good at spotting forgeries.
"That looks a little out of my price range," I admitted. I suspected it would've been so even if I hadn't spent a drake since arriving on Vvardenfell.
"Oh, Jobasha is expecting it is," Jobasha said while carefully wrapping it in an oiled cloth. "Even you could afford it, he would not sell it. Edwinna Elbert of Ald'ruhn asked him to find it for her, has already paid him handsomely for it. The shipment just came in yesterday, and now Jobasha needs someone to deliver it to the Ald'ruhn Mages' Guild for him. You are a member of the guild, you know how to treat books - you would not believe the clumsy oafs Jobasha has had the misfortune to hire for such work in the past-" Jobasha shuddered, I assumed at a dreadful memory involving book destruction. "Edwinna should give you a few drakes for the delivery. And if you are careful with it and the book gets to Edwinna by Tirdas at the latest, Jobasha will not object if you do some reading of your own."
That was a generous offer. Too generous. How did Jobasha trust me not to run off with it? Ajira's assessment could only go so far. Especially because much as we'd been instant friends, at the time she'd told Jobasha about me we'd known each other for less than a day.
"You'd trust me with a book that valuable?" I blurted, then mentally kicked myself. When would I learn that certain thoughts were best kept to oneself?
Jobasha looked at me without answering, green eyes distant. The silence stretched until I started to shift uncomfortably beneath his gaze.
"Jobasha was not entirely honest with you at the beginning," he finally said. "He has heard of you from Ajira, yes. But he has also heard of you elsewhere. Jobasha has friends in many places, you see, and one of them is in the Thieves' Guild."
My blood turned to ice.
"And those friends, they tell him things. They tell him things like this: the one who calls himself the Thief-King of Skyrim, he is looking for someone. He is looking for a young Dunmer, a red-haired girl named Adryn."
The door was behind me, and I'd have to weave past bookshelves and run up stairs to get to it. The desk was between us, which was a point in my favour, but Jobasha looked fit for all his greying fur and Khajiit were notoriously acrobatic... and then there was me, still out of shape from prison. If I bolted, I didn't think I'd make it outside before he caught me.
Not that it mattered either way, because he had friends in the Thieves' Guild and he knew who I was-
"He wants her alive, it is said... but from the way he is asking, once he has her this girl will not remain so for very long. From the way he is asking, she will wish it was not even that long."
Despite the warmth of the day, I felt very cold.
Jobasha regarded me for a long moment, claws drumming on the table, then heaved a sigh. "Breathe. The things Jobasha has heard about the Thief-King are... not good. He is not inclined to do that man a favour. And," his tone hardened, "I disapprove of torturing children."
Apparently I'd ended up in the 'kit' category after all. This was probably not the time to protest that my nineteen years made me an adult.
"I- thank you-" I felt light-headed and stopped to take a deep breath. I hadn't even noticed I'd been hyperventilating.
Jobasha continued as though he hadn't even noticed my interruption. "All the same, Jobasha hopes you understand he cannot help but worry, when he learns Ajira's new friend is such a person. From her stories, you are... harmless. Whatever stories Jobasha may have heard about why that man wants you," I felt the blood drain from my face, "they do not fit, he thinks. Especially because from the things Jobasha has heard, it would not be the first time he spread lies for his own gain. Still. Jobasha does not know for certain this is so. And although Jobasha may not approve of torturing children... hurting Ajira, that he approves of even less."
I straightened indignantly. "I wouldn't-"
Jobasha held up a hand to silence me. "So it behooves Jobasha, does it not, to keep an eye on you? To see whether this fugitive is really serious about making a new life here, becoming a productive member of her new guild, being friends with his little Ajira. Thus, the errand - to start. And as to why Jobasha trusts you to fulfill it... well."
He paused. I wiped sweaty hands on my robes.
"From what Ajira has said, the one thing you are definitely not is stupid. And making Jobasha angry? This would be a very, very stupid thing for you to do. Do you understand?"
I croaked my confirmation.
Jobasha gave me a smile that showed all his teeth. "I am very glad we had this talk. Please get the book to Edwinna no later than Tirdas."
I barely remembered to take it before I fled.
Once out of the shop, I stopped and stared at the corridor wall.
In my mind's eye, two faces floated in front of me. I drank in the imagined sight of Charon's wiry black curls, once again escaping from under his cap, the nose that still bore a bump from the time he'd broken it when we were eleven, the dark brown eyes twinkling with humour. Of Ingerte's scattering of freckles, the long ash-blond hair she'd braided into a coronet around her head, her face beautiful as a china doll's which had distracted many a person from the sharp gleam of intelligence in her blue eyes-
"I miss you," I whispered. Their features grew blurry. "I miss you, I miss you, I'm sorry-"
I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back tears, feeling the memories hovering at the edge of my mind. If I let them, they'd overwhelm me. Instead, I reached forward and let my fingers trail along the wall, let my thoughts become absorbed by the tingle of rough stone against my fingertips, the soothing pattern of the circling motion...
Once I had myself firmly back in the present, I let my hand drop and opened my eyes. Forget Miun-Gei, I should head back to Balmora as soon as possible. Correction: to Balmora by way of Ald'ruhn. Jobasha had given me a full three days to deliver the book, but it would really, really be better not to risk-
"So. I was right."
I winced when I realised that I'd been so absorbed I hadn't noticed someone else enter the corridor. I really needed to stop being so sloppy about that.
Wait, why did that angry voice sound vaguely familiar?
I turned around and bit back a groan at the sight of an Ordinator's mask. I'd so hoped never to run into Master Grumpy again.
"Innocent tourist? Pah. I knew better from the moment I saw you. Rebel. Abolitionist, that's what you are."
It was really quite impressive how Master Grumpy's air of barely controlled fury made the painted, immobile blank expression of his mask seem like an angry scowl- wait, what?
"Buying books is rebellious now?" I asked, incredulous.
"Oh yes, I've been watching Jobasha. A more obvious seditionist I've never seen in my life, even if Commander Andas insists we don't have the evidence to bring him in and I should leave him be-"
I gulped. Apparently Master Grumpy was even more paranoid than the norm for an Ordinator. I wasn't sure whether I should find that relieving or worrying.
"So, outlander." I had the distinct impression that Master Grumpy was smiling under his mask. For some reason, it made me even more uneasy than his normal demeanour. "You are wanted for questioning regarding subversive activity. And once you confess, I'll finally have enough to arrest that fetcher Jobasha."
"Now- hey- wait a minute!" I yelped, dodging as he tried to grab me. "I haven't even done anything!" Which is something I really wished mattered more with law enforcement. I glanced at Master Grumpy to see if I could make a break for it-
My eyes widened. "Behind you!"
I winced as my upper arm was captured in a hard, armoured grip. "How stupid do you think I am? That's the oldest trick in the book. You..."
His voice trailed off, he began to sway on his feet. The pressure on my arm vanished as his hand grew limp and fell away. I managed to jump back just in time to avoid being crushed when Master Grumpy collapsed with a clatter.
The Dunmer woman I'd seen come up behind him bent down to retrieve her dagger from the gap in the armour between his pauldrons and his gauntlets. Only the tip was wet, she'd barely nicked him... but the angry red glitter of a destructive enchantment along its blade, not to forget the heap of unconscious or dead Ordinator on the floor, made it clear that in this case a nick was enough.
Instead of straightening, the woman reached for Master Grumpy's mask to wrench his head back. My mind must have been working slowly, because I only realised what she was doing when blood sprayed.
"Outlander." I tore my eyes away from the now definitely, unmistakeably dead Ordinator on the floor to find the woman's fixed on me.
"You- you know," I said, voice shaking, "I think all of you could, could really do with some lessons in peaceful conflict negotiation. You know. Learning how to talk your problems over instead of resorting to vi-" I gulped and tried not to look at the bloody heap that had been Master Grumpy, "to violence. I'd love to give you some tips on the matter but I seem to have forgotten an urgent appointment, I'll just be going now-"
"Dagoth Ur does not want you here, outlander."
My heart fell to my stomach, kept going, and ended up somewhere near what felt like my ankles as the woman began to walk towards me. Now don't get me wrong, I very much disapprove of murder. My preferred method of conflict resolution happens to be talking, with running away a close second. Lethal violence appears nowhere on the list, and the casual way this woman had slit Master Grumpy's throat made nausea rise in my stomach. I would just have liked to disapprove from a nice, safe, thoroughly uninvolved distance, never to mention I much preferred disapproving of murder that wasn't my own.
My perception of the world sharpened in the way extreme unadulterated terror sometimes does to you. Suddenly, every brick on the wall came into sharp relief. Every scar on the woman's face, the sway of her blood-red hair, the blank, glazed look in her eyes engraved itself in my memory, and the woman's already dragging, listing approach slowed to a crawl... really, I almost thought she was sleep-walking. (Sleep-murdering?)
Well. She didn't seem amenable to talking. Running looked like an increasingly good option, except-
I bit back a curse when I felt stone at my back. I'd backed into a corner, Ysmir damn it. I could still try to rush past her, sluggish as she was, but with that knife all she had to do was scratch me and I'd be done for.
Really, this was ridiculous - my second life-threatening experience in three days. Only this time I had to doubt a floating Armiger would be by with a timely rescue.
Wait, what was it about Ervesa...
The spell! Running away was still an option.
Okay. Focus. Focus on something not the approaching spectre of death. Reach into your magicka pool, draw out a rope, throw it out and latch onto the beacon-
I gritted my teeth as my first attempt went straight into the void. Considering this city was supposedly the home of a living god there had to be a Temple here. Try again.
This time my rope hit something close by- wavered- slid off-
My approaching death in sleep-murderess form was getting uncomfortably close.
Finally! A solid hit. Now use the connection to pull yourself from here to there-
With no warning, the link I'd created stretched almost to breaking as the beacon I'd latched onto suddenly went from a nice stable fixed point to an arrow shooting off into the distance. I threw myself towards it, desperate-
The world dissolved.
Notes:
The song Eddie is singing is "A Less Rude Song", an in-game book... I somehow suspect he was singing something else when the Ordinators came around. Also, although I usually prefer to base my portrayal of things solely on vanilla Morrowind and my own imagination, I do play with mods and they affect how I view things. Cassia's pots and pans are, as far as I remember, due to the Less Generic NPC project (I'm pretty sure that's where her crockery census originated), and the description of the slums on the water around the cantons is inspired by the Vivec Expansion mod.
Chapter 8: Chapter Eight
Chapter Text
This time, the teleportation was a lot more violent. Instead of the smooth shift of before, it felt rather as if some giant had picked me up and tossed me through the realms of Mysticism in what must be the direction of the nearest Temple. I staggered and almost lost my balance on the 'landing' and made a mental note never to teleport under stress again. Well, at least now I was away from the serial killer and safe at a Temple...
I opened my eyes.
Oh, Ysmir's balls.
Judging by the style of interior decorating, the large hall I'd landed in was no Temple, especially since the one I'd seen had tended to the sparsely furnished. Here, on the other hand, the rich decorations - ranging from the very expensive magicka-lit chandelier over gleaming swords with gem-inlaid hilts hanging on the wall to exquisite paintings, all of scowling armour-clad Dunmer - made all of my thieves' instincts spring into high alert.
Rich person's home. Rich person who would probably not be too happy to come home and find an ex-thief in the middle of their manor. I seriously doubted "oh, so sorry, teleportation accident" would fly - I barely believed that story myself and it had actually happened to me. At least there was no one around right now-
"Who in Oblivion are you?"
I turned around, swearing to myself that one day, one day I would learn not to think things that provoked the universe to immediately prove me wrong. "I'm really sorry, this was an accident, I-" I blinked when the angry nobleman I was expecting to face turned out to be a Nord in simple dark clothes. Holding a lockpick.
"I've waited weeks for the perfect opportunity to do this - finally the family's all out at some dinner party, I manage to bribe the maid to put sleeping potion into the guards' food, everything's going according to plan and then some witch decides to pop out of nowhere. Damn it all to the Deadlands, the Sarethis weren't nearly this much trouble."
The man had swapped his lockpick for a dagger - it seemed to be made out of the glittering green material Fasile had called 'glass', which under other circumstances I'd have been curious about. In this case, however, I found my attention much more caught by the fact that it looked sharp and was pointing at me. Why did everyone I met today want to stab me? Had I accidentally left the Mages' Guild with an 'Adryn: now doubling as a pincushion' sign stuck to my back?
"Now," the Nord continued, "tell me what you're doing here or else-"
"Teleportation gone wrong. Would you mind not waving that in my face? Besides," some sense of professional pride reared its head, "you don't look that green, surely you know not to kill someone on a burglary. You know - thieves' honour, not to making the profession look bad, avoiding guardsmen coming after everyone with sharp objects, the usual. And what are you even planning on doing with the bod-"
"Did I ask you how to do my job?" the man snapped. "No! I didn't! And- teleportation gone wrong, you expect me to believe that? Everyone knows that doesn't actually happen." Oh, thank you so much for telling me. I bow to your superior skills and experience. Clearly this is in fact a Temple and I'm just hallucinating. Happens all the time. "What's to stop you from running out and getting the guards right now?"
Well, for one the fact that I had no idea where 'out' was. There were several doors I could see and I hadn't the slightest idea which one was the exit. But he didn't need to know that. Instead... "If I were going to do that I would have already, surely? Honestly, I don't want any trouble. I'll just leave now and you can pretend I was never here-"
The Nord scowled. "Not a chance, witch. I don't want to risk that you'll call the authorities, either on purpose or by blundering into them." My back stiffened in indignation - this greenhorn insulting my stealth skills? - but he continued. "No, you can just stay right here with me while I finish my business, and I'll figure out what to do with you when we're both out of here."
That, like a lot of the things the man had said so far, sounded remarkably short-sighted - and believe me, when I'm the one saying this, it really means something. "What, you're planning on dragging me with you while you search for the jewellery box? Seriously, just let me go and I'll-"
A meaty hand grabbed my forearm. "No, you're coming with me. It won't be long. I heard Venim bragging about some priceless treasure he had locked up in his home, and dear Vendrela from the kitchen was so helpful in telling me that there's two guards always loitering about here." Indeed, he was steering me towards a suspicious-looking tapestry flanked by two collapsed figures. Sleeping potion, hadn't he said? I couldn't fault his planning for this heist, even if I did have to fault his attitude. "And then the whole world will know of Allding, who broke into two Councilor mansions! A feat the Grey Fox or the Gentleman would have been hard-put to manage!" And his discretion. Really, I pondered as Allhotair pushed aside the tapestry to uncover a (badly) hidden door, if I were his guildmaster I'd have kicked him out long ago just for excessive boasting. "Then Aengoth will promote me for sure." Or for being utterly pathetic.
He had to let me go to pick the lock on the door, which would have been the opportune moment to make a run for it. I didn't, because I still didn't know where "out" was or, for that matter, what "out" was. (Was I even in Vivec anymore?) Besides, I knew that make of lock and it wouldn't take him-
Good grief.
I winced as one of his picks snapped in the lock and he fumbled for another one. Scratch the boasting, who on Nirn had hired the man? With that dexterity he ought to be a juggler - you know, the kind that makes the audience laugh because of their sheer incompetence, whose ultimate trick is knocking themselves out by accident.
"Oh for- let me, or else we'll be here all night." I reached over and grabbed the picks out of his hands. "I refuse to let myself get arrested because you're too incompetent to manage a simple lock."
By the time he closed his mouth I already had the first pick in the lock. Pretty lousy quality, and the lock was a bit more difficult than I'd guessed, but-
"Hey, what do you think you're doi-"
Snick.
I felt a smug smile spread across my face as his mouth dropped open again. "Opening the door. Since you were having such trouble with it. By the way," I was feeling magnanimous - definitely magnanimous, it most certainly wasn't gloating, "don't jerk the picks suddenly in a Vicici style lock. The tumblers are positioned in a way that makes them snap easily. Increase the pressure gently, you don't need much."
"I'll do that. Thanks." The look Allboasts graced me with was quite a bit less hostile and more thoughtful than his previous. Perhaps he could be trained! Not too much of a surprise - I hear you can train monkeys, after all, and he seemed only a little less intelligent than one. "Say, you're not half bad." Why, thank you for noticing. Better than you, anyway. "Who are you, anyway? You Guild too?"
"I'm A-" giving my real name to a Guild thief who was curious about my skill was a very bad idea Adryn what are you doi- "-Arvese," I invented quickly, silently apologising to Ervesa. "And no, I'm... retired. Except when someone decides to drag me along against my will." I shot him a glare.
He shrugged, totally unapologetic. "I want you where I can see you. Now, let's see what beauties old Venim has hidden behind here - and don't you think you'll get a share..." he eased the door open.
The sight that met our eyes was definitely not one I was expecting.
"Well, about time. With all due respect, surely an essential part of kidnapping involves not letting your victim starve to- wait a minute. You're not the guards."
Allding and I stared at each other, then at the bare cell behind the door. Bare, that was, apart from the Dunmer occupying it.
He looked about my age, with dark hair in a spiky half-shaved haircut that meant he was probably trying to give his parents a heart attack. His clothes were rich velvets (the kind that act much like a sign saying "my purse is crushing me under its weight, I would be ever so grateful if you relieved me of it" for thieves) although they were ripped and rumpled - I guessed from his captivity, although the heavy chains couldn't have helped either.
"Are you here to rescue me?" It was almost painful to watch his eyes light up with hope. "My name is Varvur Sarethi, my father is Athyn Sarethi, the Councilor." I heard a small moan from Allincompetent. "He'll reward you. Please- no!"
I grabbed Allding's arm before he could close the door again. "What do you think you're doing?" I hissed.
He glared at me. "Women. Bleeding hearts. Don't see what business it is of yours, but I have no damn intention of getting involved in politics." He spat. "That's the kind of thing that gets people like us killed."
He was right, but. "It's my business because you made it my business, and guess what, we're involved now whether we want it or not!" I whispered furiously. "You think whoever lives here is just going to leave us alone now that we've found him? You think he's going to keep quiet about the two intruders who stumbled upon him? Or his father will be happy about this if he does get rescued?" The set of Varvur's face made it clear that if we left him here, he would make sure we regretted it if it was the last thing he did. "At least if we grab him someone in this mess will be on our side!"
I moved towards him. The lockpicks were still in my hand...
"No, I'm going to stay well out of this." Allcoward turned his back to the prisoner, clearly preparing to storm off. "If you're so insistent on playing with the nobility, you can-" He broke off abruptly.
"Well, well, what have we here."
I turned around.
There should really be an upper limit on the amount of misfortune someone can experience in a day.
The Dunmer now standing at the other end of the room looked a lot like the angry nobleman I'd been worried about earlier. Worse yet, he didn't even look like an angry nobleman of the pampered, helpless without his guards variety where you can at least try to intimidate them into letting you run for it. No, this looked like an angry nobleman who ate the former type for breakfast and followed them off with a rampaging snow bear for lunch. The full suit of - was that actually ebony armour? - left that impression. Of course, he also had two guards with him. The effect was rather like that of a tiger flanked by kittens.
Maybe it was my lucky day and he wasn't actually the owner. Maybe he was just - just passing through, and would be shocked to find a kidnap victim and I could pretend to have been on a benevolent rescue mission-
"A spy. In my home."
My last shred of hope fizzled and died.
Wait a moment, why the singular?
My eyes darted to the side. Fumble-fingered he might be, but apparently Alltraitor could move quickly when push came to shove. He'd managed to make it to the side of the cell, out of view from the main room, and was fumbling with a potion. He looked at me, clearly pleading for me not to say anything. I scowled at him.
That said, there were times for taking revenge on treacherous snakes and there were times to prioritise one's own hide, in particular the saving thereof. This was definitely one of the latter.
I opened my mouth to defend myself, then closed it when I realised I was currently bereft of any plausible explanation. Well, if the mer could just give a moment - sheer desperation had always led to my greatest bouts of what I called 'creative planning' and Charon called 'utter insanity' in the past, I was sure it wouldn't let me down now-
Alas, the nobleman didn't seem inclined to wait for me to come up with something. His eyes narrowed, then he snapped something in what I supposed was Dunmeris. I didn't understand him, but judging by the way the guards started moving forwards I thought I could guess at the gist.
Said guards were noticeably slower and more wobbly than I am used to guards being. The potion was clearly still in their system. Now, if I were even remotely skilled at combat, this might have made a difference. Sadly, even a Bosmer who's just smoked a full pipe of skooma and is actually trying to attack the glowing rainbow unicorn behind me is capable of physically overwhelming me. (No, I'd rather not explain how I know that.) And, as if to prove that things could still get worse, the two guards knocked out at the entrance to the cell started stirring. The commotion had probably managed to penetrate their drug-induced haze.
My eyes darted from side to side. Allcoward was gone - an invisibility potion, I guessed, and he hadn't brought enough to share. Well, I was sure there'd be plenty of opportunity to revenge myself on him for landing me in this situation once I got out of it. As I was going to figure out a cunning plan to do exactly that in a moment.
Any second now.
A hand on my wrist. Varvur. "Don't you have any Intervention scrolls or something?" he whispered.
Oh. Of course.
All things considered, it looked as if staying here would be much more detrimental to my health than casting that spell again.
When the nobleman saw me raise my hands into a casting position, he shouted something and started forward himself. The speed at which he advanced made it obvious he hadn't so much as sniffed the sleeping potion the guards had been given-
To Oblivion with carefully locating the nearest beacon. I just tossed a rope out and yanked.
This teleport was even rougher than the previous one. My stomach lurched when I rematerialised with a jerk, stone floor shifting to-
To-
To...
Why was someone screaming?
I looked down.
It looked as if I'd been a bit hasty in deciding that teleporting would be a safer option than staying where I was. In fact, I found myself wishing desperately I'd decided to stick around. I'd probably have ended up in the cell with Varvur, but cells are nice, safe places. In particular, they have floors. Floors, I thought, were a decidedly undervalued commodity. Ground in general, in fact. True, the ground here seemed eager to reunite with us, was in fact approaching with remarkable speed, but we were far enough away that we were going to be bereft of it for some time all the same. I for one wasn't looking forward to the reunion.
Pain. Fingers digging into my wrist. I'd taken Varvur with me, and he'd finally managed to stop screaming.
"Do something!" He didn't sound very happy about this turn of events. I couldn't blame him.
"Like what?" I yelled. Ooh, those tiny dots down below were trees.
"You're a mage! Cast a spell!"
I pondered my repertoire. Illusion, detection, waterwalking, firebite... no, not exactly useful in this situation. The teleport - even aside from the fact that the way things were going we'd probably end up three miles under ground next, I wasn't sure if teleports reduced velocity. Ending up flat as a pancake at a Temple was if anything an even worse option, since at least this way our afterlife wouldn't be haunted by gods angry at us for getting bits of ourselves all over their holy place. Shield spell? Doubtful. I didn't think a spell made for keeping off the rain would help us survive a fall from this height, unless the weather here was a lot stranger than anyone had told me.
"I don't know any that would help!"
Varvur stared at me. "Seriously? I thought all you mages could levitate!"
"Well, I'm not a ma-" Levitation... wait a minute, what did that remind me of...
Those trees were looking bigger and bigger.
Levitation, of the Alteration school, closely related to the Slowfall effe-
The amulet!
I reached under my shirt with my free hand, ignored Varvur's eyes bugging out, grabbed the amulet and concentrated-
Our fall slowed to a gentle descent, as though the two of us weighed as much as a feather.
"What was that?" Varvur asked. Now that I wasn't distracted by our imminent death via being scattered across the landscape, I noticed there was sweat trickling down his face and his breath was coming in fast pants. All things considered, I doubted I looked much better.
"Slowfall enchantment," I answered him, carefully drawing the amulet out of my shirt. My eyes were drawn back down again, and I winced as I realised that the ground was still a rather disquietening distance away. I must admit, shameful as it is, that ground is one thing where I am extremely conservative and not inclined to new experiences. Not for me aerial explorations, I am one of the ground-loving people who wants firm earth under her feet as much as possible. Although at the moment I didn't feel inclined to be fussy - I'd be ecstatic with a tree branch, a net, a circus highwire, anything oh Nine anything-
"That's. Handy." From the looks of it - in particular the looks he was shooting in a general downwards direction - Varvur was just as attached to the idea of ground, for the standing upon, as I was.
"Lucky. I only got it today and was planning to sell it." Past tense. Now, I was ready to swear by Zenithar never to let this amulet out of my sight. I wouldn't have traded it for Azura's Star. People might laugh at me but, I ask you, what use is Azura's Star when you're several rapidly-decreasing miles in midair?
"That's the kind of luck I think we could both use more of. Um..." Varvur paused and licked his lips. "I don't suppose you know how long the enchantment lasts?"
We stared at each other.
Of course, most likely due to the universe wanting to prove yet again that it really did have a sense of irony, that was when we started falling again.
A few seconds later, I managed to get enough of my mind off of our once again rapidly approaching horrible death that I could muster the concentration necessary for the amulet, leaving us drifting once more.
"Right," I said once my teeth had stopped chattering. "So I just have to call up the enchantment as soon as it wears off until we reach the ground... or. Wait." I didn't exactly have much in the way of experience with enchanted objects, but one of the few things I did remember was jumping up and down screaming for attention.
And Varvur was shaking his head too. "How many charges does that thing have?"
I focused on the amulet for a moment, in particular the energy emanating from it. Energy which was definitely reduced compared to earlier. "Maybe... three more? Or four?" I hazarded.
"Not enough to get us all the way down. So you're just going to have to let us fall most of the way," Varvur said.
I stared down at the trees far below. "Right. I'll... get right on that."
As if on cue, the enchantment wore off.
The sight that would have greeted any passing bird or levitating mage that evening was unique, and quite possibly amusing if observed from a secure vantage point. Two Dunmer - one in plain robes clutching an expensive amulet, one in velvets and heavy chains - hovering among the treetops, clinging to each other and arguing loudly.
"Too early! Again!"
I glared at Varvur. "This isn't easy, you know! Would you rather it be too late? Besides, we're almost all the way down and I've still got a charge left. Maybe two."
"Don't you think 'maybe' is a bad word to be using in this context?"
"Look, if you're so intent on criticising me, you can take the amulet and give it a try!"
"You may have not considered this, but I don't think fooling around with the only thing holding us up right now is a good ide- watch out for that tree!"
At that point things happened very quickly.
The enchantment wore off. I was staring downwards, readying myself to call on it again, when my arm exploded in pain and the amulet fell out of my nerveless fingers.
Oh crap-
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
A few moments later found me lying on the ground - and oh, I would never take that for granted again - staring up into the trees. One tree in particular, one whose branches bore the marks of our rather violent passing.
"I am never taking ground for granted again," I said out loud. It bore repeating.
"Agreed," came a voice from next to me. Apparently Varvur had survived our fall. Now I only needed to work out whether I had. "Honestly, I'm not sure whether to thank you for rescuing me or strangle you for almost getting me killed."
And just when I'd figured out - with relief - that I was still alive I found myself in mortal danger. Again. This was becoming strangely routine. "Now, I know this may sound very unexpected but I vote for the option without grievous bodily harm?" True, I thought he was being hyperbolic, but after the day I'd had I figured one couldn't be too careful. "And besides, if it weren't for you I wouldn't be in this situation myself so if anyone ought to be pondering murder here..."
"Well, I suppose I did come away with only minor injuries in the end, so I can't hold too much of a grudge." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Varvur had managed to sit up, although it had involved quite a bit of wincing and even more complicated maneuvering to make up for the fact that he was still in chains. "Are you all right?"
"I think so- wait." I noticed something in my first attempt to sit up. "Ooh, that's funny, I didn't know arms could bend that way."
"I think that's because they're not meant to." Varvur waddled closer. I'd say the reason I didn't laugh was out of courtesy, but since that was when the pain hit I suddenly had other things to worry about. "Yes, definitely broken. At least it wasn't your leg, since we need to walk out of here." He gave a rueful glance downwards. "Or hop."
I glanced at his chains, then realised that I still had Allding's lockpicks in my other, still useable hand. I'd been holding them before we teleported, and was now clutching them so tightly the indentations would probably still be visible two weeks from now. "I think I can do something about that..."
Thankfully for both of us, the tree had been so kind as to only break my right arm - that's courteous plant life for you. Picking a lock one-handed was something I'd spent some time practicing, but doing so with inferior, unfamiliar tools while trying to ignore a broken arm was difficult enough; if I'd had to do it without my dominant hand we might have been stuck there until we both starved to death.
Varvur watched me with bemusement. "Interesting. I didn't think mages went in for that sort of thing. But I suppose you were burgling the Archmaster's manor." He sounded disapproving.
"Look," I snapped, "I'm not a mage. Or a thief. Well, I was one once - a thief, that is, not a mage, but I'm retired now in any case, and I suppose you could say I'm sort of a mage but still -" Varvur was looking confused. I decided to simplify things. "I wasn't burgling anything, all right? I was an innocent bystander in all of this!"
"Really." The voice was dry enough to turn a swamp to desert. "Then what were you doing in the Archmaster's manor, muthsera not-a-thief?"
"First of all, my name is Adryn, so you can stop with the nickname." The chains on Varvur's ankles fell to the ground with a thud. "And - give me your wrists - it was a teleportation accident."
"You know," Varvur said reflectively as I started on his manacles, "if you'd asked me recently I would have told you that wasn't possible. Very recently, in fact. Up until... oh... ten minutes ago."
"That's me." I accidentally jostled my right arm and had to pause, gritting my teeth against a wave of pain. "Stretching the bounds of mortal achievement in ways we could definitely have done without." Click. There, that was the manacles. Now the only thing left was the bracer on his left forearm. It wasn't hindering him, true, but I recognised it - and more importantly, I could feel the tugging at my magicka just by holding my hand near it. It was a magicka-draining device, and if Varvur happened to know any useful spells (like, oh, to pick one entirely at random - healing spells) I wanted him free to cast them.
"By the way," I said as I wiggled the first pick, "who was that, anyway? You said something about the 'Archmaster'?" Ordinarily, I'd prefer to work without distractions, but Varvur was still looking disapproving about my less-than-legal past and I suspected that if I didn't find another topic of conversation we'd end up arguing about my career choices.
"Who was..." A pause. "You were burgling the manor of Bolvyn Venim, the Archmaster of House Redoran himself, without even knowing who it belonged to?"
"For the last time, I wasn't burgling-!" I cut myself off. I could see that this wasn't going to get me anywhere, and besides, the other part of that sounded rather ominous. "Um. I take it he's important, then?"
"'Take it he's important'?" I could actually hear Varvur's jaw drop. I looked up from my work to shoot him a glare, one which he rudely ignored. "He's the head of House Redoran on Vvardenfell! Lord of Ald'ruhn! Probably the most powerful man on the island after Archcanon Saryoni and Duke Dren!"
My heart sank with the approximate force and velocity of a Dunmer, bereft of Slowfall spells, dropping from three miles in midair (a comparison I had to say I felt uniquely able to make). "Thanks. That's, that's perfect. That's just what I was hoping to hear." I poked angrily at the lock. Not only were the pain and pulling sensation at my magicka making it hard to concentrate, but it was being recalcitrant. I dimly remembered that prisoners' bracers are said to be very difficult to pick, but I'd be damned if I got bested by a piece of metal. "I mean, I definitely wanted to make an enemy of one of the most powerful men here less than a week after I arrived. And I certainly wanted to do it in a way that left him able to identify me. My life didn't have enough excitement in it, you see."
Varvur, who'd been watching my actions with a steadily growing scowl - I wasn't sure whether it was my rubbing my criminal past in his face or the trouble I was having with the lock, but was readying a cutting retort for either case - snorted. "Don't you think you're being a bit paranoid?"
My jerk handily undid everything I'd managed so far and almost broke both picks as an encore. "Paranoid? Are you serious?" Wait, hadn't he said something about his father being... "Is this one of those nobility out-of-touch-with-reality things? I have no idea what you're used to but I assure you, for normal people like me, being worried about the reaction a man like that has to being crossed is-"
Varvur looked as if he were about to take offense to the 'normal people' comment but let it go in the end. "No, I mean that he seems to be under the impression that you're some sort of Telvanni mercenary." I looked blank. He heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Didn't you hear him? He said something like... 'I didn't think even Athyn would stoop so low as to consort with the Telvanni, but of course he insists on surprising me.'"
I thought back to the encounter. Come to think of it, some of those Dunmeris phrases had been a bit long for the equivalent of "Guards, arrest her". I'd just thought he was getting creative with his orders - perhaps something along the lines of "Guards, arrest this filthy spy and take her to the dungeons with the thumbscrews and pot of hot oil", although I had to admit I'd been holding out for the rather unlikely "Guards, take this completely innocent bystander and escort her to the exit, where you should let her go with a polite farewell and a few drakes for her trouble." In any case, I hadn't expected it to be anything like Varvur's translation.
It might be a good idea to look into learning the language. Were there classes?
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Varvur was now peering at me. "You do look rather Telvanni, come to think of it. The hair, and then you wearing mage robes... I mean, it's obvious that you're an outlander, but the Archmaster only saw you from a distance and didn't hear you speak. I guess I can see how he might make that mistake."
"Right. Lovely." I nudged one pick to the side slightly. Almost there... "I'm sure knowing he thinks I'm Telvanni will be useful, especially if I figure out what one is."
"Oh, of course, you're an outlander. Telvanni are another House, based on the east coast, mostly mages. They... well, they're Telvanni. I mean..."
Varvur trailed off, clearly stumped as to how to explain in what way exactly Telvanni were Telvanni. I didn't mind much, because I'd learned the most important thing - namely, that with the confusion about my identity I was unlikely to end up with an angry Venim chasing me down to be a change from his usual diet of noblemen and snow bears. Also, Varvur's silence gave me a moment to focus on-
There! A last tumbler hiding at the back - twist the pick like so-
The bracer fell to the ground. Varvur sighed in relief, and I could see his face starting to regain some colour. I couldn't blame him. Just a few minutes in contact with that thing had been unpleasant, and I hadn't even worn it.
"Thank you," he said.
About time, if you asked me. Rescue someone at great personal risk, and they only bother to thank you after you've put off treating your own injuries to free them from their chains. Hostages these days, honestly.
I'd been expecting Varvur to want a few moments to catch his breath and recover, but he was already struggling to his feet. "Things aren't going to get any better if we sit around here," he said in response to my quizzical look. "We need to find our way to the nearest town, and I'd prefer to spend as little time as possible tramping around in the dark."
I glanced to the west, where the sun was dipping dangerously low, and had to admit he had a point.
A brief time later found us making our way through the wilderness. Apparently, while we'd been floating in midair and I'd been desperately trying to keep us from dying, Varvur had decided this was the perfect time to do some leisurely sightseeing. I couldn't be too bitter about it because it meant he'd spotted a road to the east. As a result, we had a better plan of action than my suggestion of picking a direction at random.
I ducked under a branch Varvur was holding up for me. Given that it was hardly his fault I'd blundered into where he'd been being held hostage, I'd been forcing myself not to be angry with him. It was rather difficult - pain makes me short-tempered at the best of times, and this was certainly not the best of times - but I persevered. It helped that I knew he'd probably been having about as bad a day as me.
Varvur was also helping through being surprisingly congenial. Not only had he taken my pack (which I had been extremely relieved to find had survived totally unscathed - I suspected a broken arm would be the least of my worries if Chronicles of Nchuleft got damaged), but he'd even turned out to have a little knowledge of healing: he'd set my arm, fashioned a makeshift splint and sling for my arm using branches and strips torn from his shirt, and tried his best with a healing spell he knew once his magicka had recovered. It was only a minor one meant for bruises, but it did take the edge of the pain off.
Sadly, this meant most of the pain was entirely untouched.
"-where we are," the three words coming from in front of me managed to penetrate my mental haze.
Oh. Varvur was talking. Talking meant distraction, meant not thinking about the agony emanating from my arm. Talking was good. "Sorry, what did you say?"
"I said, I wish I knew where we are," Varvur repeated. "Not wet enough for the Bitter Coast and I don't smell the sea, I'd guess somewhere in the West Gash or maybe inland of the Ascadian Isles, near Lake Amaya-"
I'd been sufficiently distracted from my surroundings that the only thing I'd registered was "it's green and there are arm-breaking trees that hate me." I looked around.
We were walking among craggy hills dotted with low, scrubby bushes and the occasional copse of broad-leafed trees. The landscape was rocky and the vegetation generally sparse - I thought we might be in the rain shadow of the mountain, although I supposed the cause could also be poor soil. Still, there were a few plants I thought might be alchemically interesting. That bush over there, for one, or that tall plant with the big yellow-orange trumpet-shaped blossom and sharp-edged leaves.
"Not near Lake Amaya," I said. I'd only been there once but I had picked up something of the area. "The flora's all wrong and there aren't any giant mushrooms masquerading as trees. It looks more like the landscape near Balmora."
Varvur looked as if he were going to argue that, then paused for a moment and just nodded. Maybe I wasn't the only one keeping a tight rein on their temper. "West Gash, then. Sadly, that means we could be anywhere between Khuul and the Odai Plateau. And most likely nowhere near Ald'ruhn."
For a moment I thought longingly of the enchanted map that had come into my possession, the map that could tell us exactly where we were for just a trickle of magicka. The map I'd left at the guild that morning, thinking I wouldn't need it for a quick sight-seeing jaunt to another city...
Wait a minute. What had Varvur just said?
"We were in Ald'ruhn?" I didn't exactly know this island very well, but I did remember talking with Selvil about the Balmora silt strider schedule and destinations. "Isn't that north of Balmora?"
Varvur stared at me as if I'd grown a second head. "Yes, we were. And it is. Where on Nirn did you think we were?"
"Well... I was shopping in Vivec when I cast the spell. I managed to figure out I hadn't made it to their Temple or in fact any Temple, but..."
Now Varvur stared at me as if I'd grown a third head and my mutant self was arguing with herself and blundering into trees. "You got to Venim's manor with an Almsivi Intervention spell from Vivec?"
I couldn't help but feel defensive. Yes, I'd managed to figure out that I'd screwed up this spell in a spectacular and unprecedented way, and twice in a row to boot. No need to rub it in. "In my defense, I was being attacked by a murderer at the time, so I didn't exactly have time to concentrate!"
"But even if you weren't concentrating, it's not meant to-" Varvur paused. "Murderer?"
I shuddered at the memory. The woman, the dagger gleaming with malicious magicka, her blank eyes... I wasn't used to people trying to kill me just because I was there. I prefer my murder attempts more personal, thank you very much. If someone chases you through half the city screaming about how they'll wring your filthy dark elven neck for stealing their- for accidentally having their purse fall into your pocket in a mishap that could really happen to anyone, then at least you know that they're objecting to your continued existence on an individual basis.
Oh. Varvur was waiting for an explanation.
"Yes, murderer. I was having a... polite discussion about hospitality with an Ordinator when this woman with an enchanted dagger stabbed him from behind, cut his throat and then tried to get me." I firmly shoved the remembered panic down. I could have a nervous breakdown about all of this once I was somewhere safe and - oh yes - no longer had a broken arm.
Ow.
"Right, I remember hearing about this from a trader. They say there's been a rash of murders in Vivec - mainly outlanders. I don't remember them saying anything about surviving witnesses, though." Varvur sounded thoughtful.
"You mean... you mean I might be the only person who can identify her?" The thought made me cringe.
Of course, it would be good to help end her sleepmurdering serial killer ways. All arguments about altruism and service to the community aside (really, please set them aside), I'd rather like to be able to visit Vivec again one day without fearing for my life, something that wasn't going to happen as long as she was running around. However, I was worried that being the sole witness to a murder would require me to spend far longer with law enforcement than I liked. And that was without factoring in that Vivec law enforcement apparently consisted of Master Grumpy's colleagues.
"Say, have you ever considered getting yourself checked at a Temple?"
I was jerked out of nightmare scenarios in which Ordinators featured prominently by Varvur's voice. Varvur's voice asking an exceptionally stupid question, at that, and at the moment my tolerance for stupidity was a lot lower than usual (which is, I admit, saying something.)
"Why, no," I said acidly. "I was thinking I'd just keep wandering around with a broken arm, I'm sure it'll magically heal itself overnight-"
"No, no - although speaking of which," Varvur stopped walking and turned to face me, "I have enough magicka to use that spell again."
A few minutes, a cast spell and some blessed pain relief later, Varvur continued. "What I meant was getting yourself checked for curses."
"Curses?" Maybe it was the day I'd had, but I wasn't quite following.
Varvur nodded, then started walking again. In usual circumstances, I'd probably be swearing at my aching legs at this point, but this is one of the dubious upsides to broken bones - it makes all the usual aches and pains next to unnoticeable in comparison! "It happened to Unc- um, House Father Arobar, one of the other Redoran Councilors. He told me about it when I was younger. Apparently there are curses that give you bad luck, you see. He had a week where everything seemed to go wrong. Finally he ended up attacked by a flock of cliff racers during an ash storm on the way to Maar Gan, and when he was in the Temple being healed the priest told him he'd been cursed."
I had to admit that was a very appealing thought. Appealing in the sense that if it was a curse, I could go to the Temple, get it removed and rest assured that these things would stop happening to me. Sadly, I suspected that this was actually a case of some gods (definitely several, one couldn't explain all this) with a grudge. Or possibly ones with an inventive and highly sadistic sense of humour. And-
A thought struck me and I groaned.
"What? It's not impossible, and-" Varvur seemed affronted to think I was casting doubt on his idea.
"No, no, it's just - I cannot believe that someone who's just been kidnapped and held hostage is saying they find my bad luck remarkable," I moaned. To distract myself from how unbelievable my misfortune had clearly become, I tried to think of a change of topic.
The universe, possibly feeling apologetic for what it had been putting me through, decided to take care of that for me.
"Hail and well met, travellers!"
My head whipped around and I stared in the direction of the strange voice. A split second later, I had my eyes firmly shut.
We'd been so engrossed in talking that neither of us had realised we were nearing the edge of the road Varvur had spotted. However, the Nord standing on the road had clearly noticed us. I might be a bit more detailed in my description of him, except that where I might usually notice hair colour or age I'd found my attention firmly drawn by the fact that he was utterly, unrepentantly, positively ostentatiously naked.
"Uh. Er." Judging by his incoherency, I suspected Varvur was equally bowled over by the sudden appearance of a Nord with nudist tendencies.
"Fine evening today, isn't it?" the Nord continued, apparently undeterred by our gaping.
"Ah. Yes. I. I. Suppose." And Varvur sounded as if he was going to keep up his best impression of a concussed cow for a while.
I opened my eyes into a squint in case the shocks of the day had caused us both to hallucinate (or perhaps another word would be more appropriate, since this wouldn't be "seeing things that aren't there" so much as the opposite...) Alas, the pale pinkish blob that greeted me before I shut my eyes again made clear I was hoping in vain.
"A mite chilly, maybe."
Okay, that was it.
"Have you ever considered," I said between clenched teeth, "that the reason you are finding it 'a mite chilly' might be because you are naked."
"Why, of course!" The man had the gall to sound surprised. "Forgive me - I nearly forgot, you see."
"Forgot. That you were naked." I had the strangest sensation of the universe spinning out of control around me. "Why. Are you. Naked."
"Well, friends, that is a story indeed-"
"Excuse me." Varvur seemed to have regained control of his tongue. "Good... good sir." Good garment-challenged sir, I corrected silently. "Before we continue this discussion, I would like to lend you my shirt."
"That's very kind of you, but-"
"Really. I insist." Varvur seemed to be surprisingly good at this diplomacy thing once he overcame shock; I suspected that if I hadn't just spent several hours defying death in new and creative ways with him I wouldn't even have noticed the edge of desperation to his voice.
"Ah, very well then-"
Rustling noises followed.
"Is it safe to look yet?" I hissed at Varvur.
"How do you expect me to know?" he hissed back.
I cracked one eye open suspiciously, then, relieved, opened the other. Now, this may appear slightly unusual - I must admit that ordinarily, the sight of a Nord in a red velvet loincloth would not be something I welcomed with anything other than screams of horror. This just goes to show one of those maxims of the universe -
Context really is everything.
"Thank you, friends!" the Nord boomed. "You have Hlormar Wine-Sot's gratitude."
"Don't mention it," I muttered. "Really."
"Indeed, tis good to know that all travellers are not as dishonourable and treacherous as that evil witch Sosia!" Hlormar continued.
"Witch?"
Hlormar's face fell into a frightful scowl. "Indeed. With her foul magics she stole my father's axe Cloudcleaver! Oh, and my other possessions," Hlormar added as if as an afterthought.
"Including your clothes, I assume."
Hlormar continued as though he hadn't heard me. "A precious heirloom for my family is Cloudcleaver! To have lost it to such treachery shames me and all my ancestors. I must retrieve it." At this point he paused, as if struck by a sudden thought. "Say, travellers, would you aid me? The witch cannot have gone far, and if we pursue her together she will surely quail in front of our superior forces."
I stared at the Nord, trying to work out how to diplomatically phrase my reaction to that suggestion (which could be summed up in words if one tried, but I really felt desperate screaming got the meaning across better). "Ah, that is of course a very... I mean, we would definitely help you but I'm afraid we're a bit-"
Varvur cleared his throat.
"Explain to me again," I said, glaring at Varvur, "exactly why we're doing this?"
"It's a matter of honour," was his rather unhelpful response.
Oh, wonderful. And I'd been hoping he was at least somewhat sensible. Maybe the sight of a naked or almost-naked Nord had similarly negative effects on the unprepared mind as helmets in all their varieties? (It would explain a great deal about Skyrim culture...). If so, I was luckily immune; even the sight of a loinclothed Nord walking some distance in front of me hadn't made me any more inclined towards getting violently involved in the business of strangers on account of 'honour'.
"Honour? We're stuck Hermaeus-Mora-knows-where with hardly more than the clothes on our back - less than that for some of us, in fact - it's going to be getting dark soon and we have no shelter in sight, my thrice-damned arm is broken, you just signed us up to go hunting a witch with our bare hands and a bare Nord and you're talking about honour?"
Varvur flushed. "I forgot about your arm."
"Lovely. How nice for you. I didn't." As a matter of fact my arm was throbbing, I imagined in protest at this entire absurd plan of action.
For the several dozenth time, I considered leaving the two fools to it and looking for civilisation on my own. Just as before, I decided that I was doomed and at least the witch would hopefully kill me quickly.
"Maybe if you just... stay back..." Varvur's voice trailed off.
"Brilliant idea, that. I'm certain you'll easily subdue her with your amazing unarmed prowess before she has the chance to turn us all into dust with lightning bolts. Or maybe you could just shock her into submission by asking Hlormar to whip off his loincloth again. Since you're bosom buddies now and all."
Varvur's shoulders fell. He looked so pathetically dejected that I might, possibly, have felt sorry for him if he hadn't been marching us towards certain mage-induced death. "Adryn, I asked him earlier and - we're north of Caldera. That's Redoran country, it's not so far from Ald'ruhn. I have a duty to the people here, you know? If there's some witch going around stealing people's- people's belongings-"
"You can say 'clothes'," I threw in. "It won't kill you."
"-well, I have to do something about that. Just letting her go on would be cowardly. Any Redoran would agree."
I had to give a moment of silent thanks that I wasn't a Redoran, because not going to attack a mage while unarmed and half-naked seemed to me to belong more in the realm of possessing a brain.
And speaking of possessing brains...
"Look, doesn't this seem a little... dubious to you?" I asked.
Varvur looked at me incomprehendingly. "Going to rid the countryside of a dangerous, magic-using bandit?"
I sighed. Sometimes you get tired of being the only person in your surroundings with the slightest drop of sense. "What I'm saying is, we've only got Hlormar's word for it that that's what happened. Does he honestly strike you as the kind of person whose word you ought to take without any further questions?"
We looked at Hlormar.
As if on cue, we heard a bellow of "Cursed witch! This is what I will do to your head when I catch you!" from up ahead, followed by a loud thunk and a groan of pain. "...I did not think the tree trunk would be quite so hard..."
"Point taken," Varvur said, then blinked. "Wait a moment, are you defending the witch where just a moment ago you were talking about how she'd certainly kill us?"
I gritted my teeth. "Unlike what sometimes feels like the majority of the population, I am capable of keeping several possibilities in my head at the same time. If the witch is dangerous, we're dead, so why on Nirn are we going along with this? If the witch isn't dangerous, Hlormar was lying to us and there's no reason to hurt her but he'll probably kill us if we side with her, so why on Nirn are we going along with this? The inescapable conclusion, you might realise at this point-"
"Of course, I hadn't thought of that." I perked up in hope, hope which was mercilessly crushed with Varvur's next sentence. (Brute.) "If the witch isn't dangerous, honour demands that we follow Hlormar to keep him from harming her."
I stared at him. "Excuse me. Are we actually speaking the same language? Because I say things, then you say things, but the logical connection between the two seems to have gone for a holida-"
"Oh, hello!" A feminine voice echoed from my left.
I turned my head to stare at the (supposedly) dreadfully dangerous witch we'd been hunting and had apparently managed to walk straight past.
I had to admit she didn't look very dangerous. She was an Imperial or Breton - her pale skin and dark brown hair meant she must be one of the two, but which was hard to tell from the distance - and I guessed her to be around thirty years old. She was wearing simple robes with patches and stains that were visible even from here and was just straightening from a crouch in front of a bush some distance from the path, holding a small knife in one hand and a bundle of leaves in the other. Now, appearances and the kinship for a fellow alchemist can be deceiving , so she obviously could still be lethal and about to kill us all... but I had to doubt it. The way she grinned at us and waved as she approached made me doubt it even more (along with her sense).
"I haven't seen anyone around for hours! My name is Sosia, I'm a healer trying to get to Ald'ruhn- are you sure you want to be running around half-naked like that?" That was directed at the shirtless Varvur. "You might catch something! Folvys at the Temple says that chills lower your resistance to diseases and- oh! Your arm!" She'd noticed my makeshift splint.
The next few seconds confirmed my earlier assertions that if the witch we were looking for was in any way dangerous we were dead, because both of us were too busy staring like stunned trout trying to keep up with the babble to stop Sosia as she marched into my personal space and splayed her fingers in a spell. Thankfully for both of us, she also confirmed my suspicions that she wasn't actually hostile in the slightest, as any dangerous witch who starts her fiendish attacks by healing her enemies is clearly too incompetent to deserve the title.
"Mara, thank you," I moaned as a blessed coolness settled over my arm and the everpresent stabbing pain died away.
"Now, there's only so much I can do right now, so make sure to keep that arm in a sling for a while longer," Sosia admonished. "Breaks heal best when you use small spells several times a day - I'd say morning, noon and evening for at least three days for that break. Trying to heal it all at once with a major spell can result in weaknesses in the bone that lead to quicker and worse fractures later on, so it's best avoided."
I blinked at the stream of information, but one thing jumped out at me. "Will potions do as well for the frequent healing?"
Sosia frowned. "In a pinch, I guess, but it's really best to use spells. They can be localized more easily, and-"
"WITCH!"
Apparently Hlormar had noticed Sosia, who squeaked at the sight of an enraged Nord in a red velvet loincloth storming towards her. I groaned. I'd hoped he'd just continue charging ahead ignoring everything behind him until he safely was out of sight.
"Foul deceiver and filthy thief! I shall crush your skull like a-"
"Wait, stop, I mean, can't we talk about this?" Sosia was backing away rapidly.
"I will not negotiate with evil witches!" Hlormar bellowed from a by now uncomfortably close distance. I pondered whether he was trying to burst our eardrums in lieu of proper weaponry.
"Stop this madness!" If he was, Varvur had decided to join him in it. "This woman is clearly not deserving of death, fiend, and if you continue to try to murder her I will stand against you!" He acted on his suicidally-chivalrous speech, one I suspected he'd stolen from a play, by stepping in front of Sosia and me - straight into Hlormar's path.
Hlormar stopped in apparent confusion for a moment, during which I hoped that this turn of events was too much for his walnut-sized brain to cope with and he'd freeze in confusion. Alas, he started moving forward again. "Traitor! I'll crush you with her!"
I shifted nervously from foot to foot as Hlormar squared off with Varvur. True, the way Varvur moved and the way he effortlessly dodged Hlormar's first punch spoke of a trained warrior, but he still looked like a starved child in front of Hlormar's broad frame. If one hit connected, he'd be finished. I was worried I was about to see murder done - in particular, Varvur's, then Sosia's, and finally my own, and with all due respect to altruism that last was one I particularly wanted to prevent - but there was nothing I could do.
Wait.
There was something I could do.
After all, it had been several days now since my encounter with the kagouti, and a certain core of power I'd exhausted then was once again burning brightly within me.
I almost groaned out loud. Falling unconscious is not my idea of a good time, and neither is the fatigue clinging to you afterwards. Well, let no one say I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself for the safety of all.
Varvur and Hlormar were circling now, eyes fixed on each other. Neither of them was paying me the slightest bit of attention. I should probably feel insulted at having been so thoroughly discounted as a threat, but had to admit they'd usually be right in their estimation. Besides, it made it laughably easy to make my way behind Hlormar without him noticing and breaking my neck (I feel the need to point out that I was willing to sacrifice myself in a figurative sense only!)
I focused and tapped Hlormar on the shoulder. He froze obligingly.
Then everything went black.
"I could have taken him," was the first thing I heard when I woke.
"Varvur, leave her be." Another voice, this. A woman's. "Are you awake now? This is the first time I've ever seen the Mooncalf's Collapse - my teacher, he said it was basically a severe case of magicka-induced exhaustion, but it's not as if you see many of those either and I'm not sure the energising spell I used was strong enough- er, can you hear me?"
I tried to say 'yes, unfortunately', but the only thing that came out of my throat was a groan. Apparently my vocal cords were on tea break. I didn't bother trying to open my eyes. Something about the way each eyelid felt like a Nord was sitting on it made me doubt any attempt would be successful.
I was lying on the ground, I noted fuzzily. Ground. A truly wonderful thing to be lying on - today was giving me a whole new appreciation for it. After our earlier separation, I thought it would be positively ungrateful of me to reduce this joyful reunion in any way. By, for instance, attempting to sit up.
"I'll take that as a 'not strong enough' on the energising spell," the voice said. "Just a moment."
Magicka washed over me in a refreshing flood.
I cracked open one eyelid. Two faces stared down at me. Varvur's face was set in a scowl, while Sosia was beaming. I wasn't entirely certain which I found more threatening.
"Any better?"
"Much." My vocal cords had apparently been spurred back to work by the spell, although judging by the creakiness of my voice there had been a fair bit of grumbling involved.
I grabbed the hand Sosia held down to me with my uninjured arm and used it to gingerly lever myself upright, silently promising the ground that we would be meeting again, at length, as soon as I could manage it. I did have to admit I might renege on that promise if someone offered me a bed.
A quick glance around showed that we seemed to have lost one angry Nord - something I wasn't planning to shed any tears over - and gained one large battleaxe that glimmered with enchantment. Varvur had it tucked into his belt, and the scowl on his face looked just as deep from a vertical position.
"I could have taken him!" he repeated.
"Eh?" My brain was still getting back up to speed.
"The Nord. He had no training in hand-to-hand at all, he was used to winning by being bigger than everyone else. He was slow, obvious, and really wasn't paying attention to his footwork. I was about to-"
I blinked as he continued. I wasn't sure if the things Varvur was saying were actually Tamrielic; I'd certainly never heard of things like an 'outer leg reap' or 'Baranat's wheel' before.
Eventually, Varvur noticed Sosia and me staring blankly and cut off his speech mid-sentence. His scowl deepened. I considered telling him that his face might stick like that, but decided it was unlikely to improve the situation. "I had him! You didn't need to interfere!"
Wait a minute. I couldn't possibly be understanding this correctly.
"You're angry with me for saving all our lives?" I asked blankly.
Judging by his expression, I'd just poured oil on the fire. "I'm not angry with you for saving your lives - our lives were never in danger, because I had him! I'm furious with some, some coward who interferes in an honourable duel, using magic, from behind-"
That-
I-
I'd had a really terrible day, and a not insignificant portion of that could be laid directly at this fool's feet, and now he-
All right. That was it.
"Honour? You mean I should have just sat there and waited to see which one of you won in order to satisfy your honour? No thank you. I happen to have this strange thing called 'sense', you see, and I find that vastly preferable to being a muscle-bound idiot with lichen growing where their brain should be who thinks they can solve all their problems by punching them - oh, I'm sorry, to being honourable." I tried to pile as much disdain into that last word as I could so Varvur would catch it, seeing as thinking obviously wasn't one of his strong points.
Varvur swelled in a manner vaguely reminiscent of a bullfrog - I wondered if there was some relation. His mouth opened and shut, but the only sound he made was a strange, wordless croaking noise (more evidence for a possible amphibian heritage!) By his side, his hands clenched into fists, lifted-
"What, now you want to attack me?" I asked, incredulous. A tiny voice in the back of my mind mentioned that this was where I should probably back down. It was smothered by rage. "All that spouting off about honour, and now you're going to hit a girl who's unarmed, untrained, recovering from severe exhaustion, and has a broken arm? What are you planning to do next, beat up a nine-year-old?"
Varvur lowered his fists, face going an unhealthy-looking shade of purple. The spotted violet Glenumbran marsh toad, perhaps? "Well- well-" he sputtered, "well, if you hadn't bungled that Intervention spell we wouldn't even be in this situation!"
I could hardly believe my ears. "Are you actually complaining? You? The kidnap victim? Please note that however we got here, you are now outside," I gestured at our surroundings, "on the ground, no longer in chains, free to go where you like. If it weren't for me you'd still be in that cell! If anything you should be thanking me on bended-"
"Er, excuse me? Varvur? Adryn?"
I realised with a twinge of guilt that I'd completely forgotten about Sosia. Judging by Varvur's expression, so had he.
"I'm sure you're both enjoying yourselves, but shouldn't we start moving before it gets dark? You can keep arguing once we're walking," she added, in the same tone I suspected she might promise a child some sweets.
Varvur and I glared at each other.
"Fine," we chorused.
Contrary to Sosia's expectations, Varvur and I didn't continue arguing once we were on the road. Instead, the silence between us was so thick you could have cut it with a knife, and I wouldn't have been at all surprised to see a miniature thundercloud pop into existence over one of our heads.
I suspected he was waiting for me to apologise for impugning his honour or something similarly ridiculous. Well, fine. I'd apologise to him right after he apologised to me for being an ungrateful lichen-brained thug with the manners of a donkey. And not just any donkey - a donkey who'd been brought up by wolves (or the donkey equivalent), one who made all the civilised donkeys bray in horror at his lack of manners. As this would most likely be a long wait, I talked to Sosia instead.
Apparently Varvur had struck some sort of deal with Hlormar after I had heroically sacrificed myself to incapitate him. By 'struck', of course, I mean 'told him how it was going to be without letting him get a word in edgewise', because Nine forbid Varvur attempt diplomacy - that would require listening to other people, we couldn't have that. And by 'deal', I mean some sort of absurd arrangement that only someone who'd through some bizarre twist of fate managed to get himself addicted to intelligence-draining potions- ahem, I mean a truly honourable person could have thought of. According to Sosia, it involved Varvur taking Cloudcleaver, then meeting Hlormar in Ald'ruhn in a week or so to see whether he'd 'changed his ways' and 'deserved' to have his family heirloom of sharp-edged death to witches returned (where witch meant woman who refused to share his bedroll, according to Sosia's version of that story). This instead of just knocking the man unconscious and stealing the cursed axe already like anyone in possession of even the tiniest amount of sense would do.
Furthermore, it seemed that while I was recovering from my heroic sacrifice, Varvur and Sosia had decided that it would be safest to stick together until we got back to Ald'ruhn. They then got carried away with their newfound power and also agreed that instead of making for Ald'ruhn and arriving in the middle of the night we should make for a nearby farmhouse down in the valley and ask for shelter. I, apparently, was an item on roughly the same level as Cloudcleaver or my books who did not need to be consulted. Why bother asking all of the people you're travelling with what they think, after all.
It was at around this point in time that Sosia's conversation deteriorated remarkably due to her having fits of giggles every time I spoke. I decided to leave her with Varvur as punishment and sped up my pace. I wanted to indulge in my sulk (I'd realised it was a sulk, but at this point I figured I'd earned one) with no mocking bystanders.
As a result, I was well ahead of the other two when I encountered the next Nord.
If you have ever been in King Thian's art collection (for instance, by passing through on an errand that had nothing whatsoever to do with the custom-designed magelights bracketed in solid gold a certain steward with a higher budget than was good for him had bought), you might have spotted a few pieces by Tilenu Neloren, an artist famous for her study of illusions both magical and otherwise. One of her works there is particularly striking - a painting of abstract shapes where you will find your eyes inexorably drawn to one particular point in the upper left corner. It really stuck in my memory, something that might be thanks to intellectual fascination, might be thanks to the fact that I'd been on lookout duty when I spotted it and the resulting narrow escape had been very narrow indeed.
Now, picture this: a hilly, rocky landscape at dusk, all subdued greens, greys and browns. Against this backdrop, pale pink stands out in front of you like a sore thumb. Your eyes automatically snap to focus on it. Then, involuntarily and with growing horror, they travel along a bare, muscular arm, over a hairy chest. From there (no) they find themselves drawn downwards (no!) despite your best efforts (noo!). Finally they stop, trapped like a fly in syrup by the sight of a glittering metal cap with furry earflaps held against- held in what I will simply refer to as a highly strategic place.
"Thank Kyne!" the Nord called out. "I've been waiting for hours for someone to pass by, almost lost hope. The name's Hisin Deep-Raed, as you can see I'm in need of a little assistance. Would you maybe have a- lass? Are you all right?"
I'd been mostly functioning on definitely-absolutely-no-doubt-about-it righteous anger since Sosia had woken me up from my collapse, and it had just run out. My legs folded underneath me. I sat down on the ground with a heavy thump.
"This isn't happening," I said blankly.
The Nord sounded concerned. He might look concerned, as well, but I still found my gaze transfixed by his... helmet. "Lass? I swear, all I was going to ask was if you might have a pair of trousers to lend me. And, er. Um. Er." A pause. "Perhaps a potion to cure diseases, if you have one. There was this, er, this witch, you see-"
"This isn't happening. I'm hallucinating. Or dreaming. Yes! Why didn't I figure it out earlier? All of this has been a bad dream. I'm going to wake up any moment now."
"Lass?" The fingers on the helm twitched, as though he was thinking of removing them and then thought better of it. "Are you travelling with anyone? I'm afraid I'm a bit... tied up right now..."
"Adryn? What are you- Oh. Er. Hello."
It seemed the figments of my imagination that were Sosia and Varvur had caught up with me. It also seemed my imagination and I needed to have a long, long talk.
"Ah, travellers! Well met, name's Hisin Deep-Raed - er, I think your companion is in need of some-"
"Good gods, man, what happened to your clothes?"
Of course this was a dream. Why hadn't I figured it out earlier? Who doesn't dream of falling?
"Well, y'see, that's a bit of a long story. It started with this witch..."
And the nudity! Why hadn't I clued in then?
"Is he your doing, Sosia?"
"What? No! I'm not the only female mage in the West Gash, you know."
To be fair, that had been a little atypical as nightmares go. Usually, those dreams involve me being naked - in particular, suddenly realising I was in front of a large crowd of people.
"Well, you're the only one I know with a penchant for stripping."
Me fully clothed but everyone around me naked, that was definitely a new one.
"-your enemies! I meant stripping your enemies!"
"...Nord, if you don't stop looking at me that way I may forget my healer's oaths."
Well, my nightmares had branched out. Apparently the dreams involving abject humiliation had decided to follow suit.
"Oh, you're a healer? Thank Kyne! I'd be forever grateful if you helped me out - you see, the witch gave me this, ah, disease-"
"...well, I suppose it's my duty. I'll need to see the primary afflicted area."
There was a long, pregnant pause.
"Ah. I. Are you sure you can't manage without?"
Up until that point, I'd been blocking out the others like the buzzing of some particularly annoying insects. However, the last snatches of conversation managed to penetrate my wall of denial. My eyes - still fixed on a certain area just beneath Hisin's stomach - widened in horrified realisation, then (finally!) squeezed firmly shut.
The darkness was immensely comforting, and made it so much easier to shut away the sound of the other three's raised voices and focus on mentally gibbering. Really, I thought, it would be so nice to just stay like this until I woke up.
As I was going to do any second.
Any moment now.
I felt the increasingly-familiar rush of an energising spell settle around me, and cracked my eyes open.
Sosia's worried face peered back at me. "Adryn? Are you all right?"
"I'm having a nightmare," I informed her.
"Hmm. Hysterics. Perhaps not entirely surprising. A Calm spell, maybe-"
The suggestion cut through my mental fog like Cloudcleaver being wielded by an angry Nord. I bolted upright. "No! No, I- I'm fine! I'm perfectly fine!"
Sosia eyed me dubiously. With a deep breath and mournful acceptance of the fact that this was actually happening, I got myself under control.
"No, really. It was just a momentary lapse. I'm all better now. See?" I gave her a trembling smile. "You should save your magicka, you never know when you'll need it."
Sosia gave me another long, critical look, then shrugged. "Well, if you're sure..."
I opted to take myself out of the danger zone by wandering over to where Varvur and Hisin were conversing. Hisin's posture was far more relaxed than before. A brief glance told me that his helmet was still (again?) serving as a makeshift codpiece, at which point I forced myself to avert my gaze.
"So." Varvur sounded wary. "You say there was a witch involved. Are you going to ask us to hunt her down for you? To recover a family heirloom, perhaps?"
"What? No, I'm well shot of her. And I've still got my heirloom, 's the only thing she left me, see? Although honestly, I'll gladly trade it to you for a pair of trousers-"
"No! Er, that won't be necessary. I wouldn't... I wouldn't dream of depriving a man of his family heirloom," Varvur said, shifting as though to try and hide the enormous battleaxe he was carrying behind his back. "I'd give you some trousers anyway, but I'm afraid I only have this pair and, er..."
We all duly pondered Varvur's suggestion.
"I don't think that would improve the situation," Sosia said delicately from behind me.
"Well, I wouldn't object if one of the ladies were to lend me their shirt instead," Hisin said with a leer in her direction. He wilted under the combined power of all three of our glares.
Then Varvur brightened. He looked as if he'd had an idea. I wondered whether I should be worried. "Adryn? Are you wearing anything under that robe?"
I started upright, fury rekindled. "Excuse me! What kind of a question is that!"
Varvur's eyes widened, apparently only now realising what that had sounded like. "I didn't mean- I only meant- if you could lend him your robe without, er-"
"You just accused me of being a flasher!"
"No, I only-"
"Look, just because I don't buy into your ridiculous notions of honour doesn't mean you get to assume-"
Varvur looked as if he was about to try apologising again. Then his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, ridiculous notions of-"
"Two drakes on the lass!"
Apparently our glares weren't as potent without Sosia, as Hisin weathered them undaunted. "What? You're expecting me to bet against a redhead in an argument? Oh - I'm not planning to stiff anyone, promise, I keep some emergency money in my-"
"Don't you all think we should be moving on?" Sosia interrupted hastily. I shot her a look of deep gratitude. I for one had not wanted to hear the end of that sentence.
After some negotiation, poisonous glances shot between Varvur and myself, and careful maneuverings involving my splinted arm which culminated in a disappointed look from Hisin when I proved to everyone that I was, in fact, perfectly decently attired under my robe, Sosia got her wish. Our - well, the addition of Hisin probably qualified it as a party - trudged along towards the farmhouse. This time, I stuck to the rear... although I did hope we'd make it with no further interruptions.
I mean, really. How many naked Nords can one island even hold?
The owner of the farmhouse, it turned out, was also a Nord. He managed to avoid the fate of being naked, however, by means of that marvelous invention known as clothes. He wore long trousers tucked into calf-high boots. A thigh-length tunic over a long-sleeved shirt. Even a kerchief around his neck! The only skin you could see was his hands and face!
Sjorvar - as he introduced himself - was only briefly taken aback by the troop of mostly underdressed people turning up on his doorstep asking for shelter. He also asked remarkably few questions about how we'd gotten there. Of course, given his glance at Hisin (who'd turned my poor, innocent robe into something that bore an unfortunate resemblance to a diaper), maybe he just didn't want to know. I couldn't blame him.
The house was really more of a shack, with only one room. To mine and Sosia's eternal gratitude, Sjorvar rigged some extra blankets into a separate sleeping alcove for the two of us. To everyone's, he lent the men some of his spare clothing. By the time he brought out two fat loaves of bread and a large bowl of a greasy reddish cheeselike substance that he called 'scuttle', I was ready to swear myself into his service. He professed himself flattered but unable to take me up on my offer, did however accept the drakes Sosia pressed into his hand.
After dinner, Sjorvar took out a bottle of something which he called 'sujamma'. The others accepted his offer of a round of drinks happily. I declined on grounds not drinking alcohol (quite frankly, I accidentally poison myself enough in the course of alchemical investigation that I fail to see the appeal of doing so on purpose) and being relatively certain that if I had to spend much more time in Varvur's direct company somebody would end up maimed and chances were it would be me.
Instead, I withdrew to the bundle of blankets we'd decided were going to be mine. I was tired enough to sleep, but the throbbing of my arm and noise of the others would make that difficult... and frankly, the last thing I wanted to do was lie awake with nothing to do but think back on the events of the day. I was quite looking forward to never thinking about certain of those events again. For instance-
Yes, a little bedtime reading for purpose of distraction was definitely called for. Besides, if I was going to lug half a dozen books through the wilderness, I should at least get some benefit from it. I rummaged through my pack...
My fingers closed on the oiled leather wrapped around Chronicles of Nchuleft.
Well, Jobasha had said that I was welcome to read it before I brought it to Edwinna, provided I was careful. I hadn't been planning to take him up on that, but... here in Sjorvar's hut, far away from Vivec, the threat hanging over me seemed very distant and was eclipsed by the lure of a rare book I'd only have access to for a few days.
I settled into my makeshift bed and opened it to the first page.
It happened in Second Planting that Lord Ihlendam, on a journey in the Western Uplands, came to Nchuleft...
Chapter 9: Chapter Nine
Notes:
Has it actually been almost three years since I updated this? I am *really sorry*, everyone, and promise that it won't be nearly as long a wait until chapter 10.
Chapter Text
The mer's face creased into a smile when he saw me at the door.
"My friend! It's good to see you - come in, come in!"
"You're unusually happy I'm here," I observed as I entered. "Let me guess, Anchard asked you to look over his records again?"
"I should probably be worried you know me so well," he said ruefully. "Then again, perhaps it's that you know Anchard and his minutely detailed reports with five times as many pages as anyone else would deem necessary, hm? I'm sure you remember - the ones he always insists are highly urgent, of vital importance, and too sensitive to be read by anyone other than you?"
"Strangely enough, I don't think I remember anything of the sort." I stripped off my left gauntlet. "Of course, this may be related to the fact that I seem to have blocked five years' worth of Council proceedings from my memory. The five years in which Anchard was responsible for records, in fact. I'm sure it's merely a coincidence."
My friend barked a laugh, pushing aside a stack of parchment covered in horribly, horribly familiar handwriting and rising in order to help me divest myself of the rest of my armour. Once I'd been freed of the final piece, he gave the pile of chitin we'd made a long look.
He frowned. "I don't see a weapon in there. You're not here unarmed, are you? We may not have seen any of Hoaga's raiding parties in the past seven years, but that's no reason to be careless. Besides, there are nix-hound packs about."
"No, no," I replied as I dragged up a chair. "Your new doorman insisted on taking my spear. He seemed to think I might try to stab you." I shrugged. "He also seemed surprised I wasn't ten feet tall and my diet didn't consist primarily of misbehaving Dwemer children. One more shock might have been lethal - I thought I'd better do what he said."
The other mer sighed. "I'll have a word with him. He's from one of the outlying outposts, you know, and the stories there are really getting out of hand. But first!" He reached for a bottle on a shelf. "Sujamma?"
"Dumac-"
"You know," Dumac's voice was airy, "if anyone ever tried to impersonate you with an illusion spell, I could find him out in a heartbeat by offering him alcohol. True, at this point there are undoubtedly a few... actually, numerous... let's be honest, a veritable multitude of people who could repeat your lecture on poisons, long-term effects and your general and total incomprehension of why anyone would willingly blunt their mental capacities word-for-word. But the face you pull, that's unmistakeable. I've never seen anyone reproduce it. I'm not entirely sure it's anatomically possible."
I'd really have liked to defend myself. Honestly. Alas, certain comments of Sul's I might have overheard indicated that in this particular argument, the truth had unfairly thrown its support behind Dumac. It did so quite frequently, in fact - I should take it to task for bias one of these days. However, until Truth and its cousin Facts decided to side with me a prudent retreat was probably in order. In lieu of answering, I busied myself getting two goblets from the sideboard.
"I take it you haven't changed your mind on the matter?" Dumac asked, already reaching for a second bottle. "Comberry juice it is. Pity, though, because if the news I've heard is correct a drink in celebration is called for - or perhaps a drink for the purpose of getting very, very drunk?"
"News?" I asked, before realising there was really only one thing he could be referring to. Still - messages travelled much faster now that we'd finally gotten the propylon chamber at Marandus set up, but I hadn't expected him to have heard already-
"Your upcoming nuptials? You know my assistants will be very disappointed if it turns out that's just rumour. Half of them have already laid bets on how long it will take her to kill you."
"Her to kill me?" I asked, plaintive. "Doesn't it usually go both ways? You'd think being a legendary hero would at least grant me equal probability."
"My friend," Dumac said, leaning forward, "when a legendary hero who is famous for looking for diplomatic solutions, who has been known to say that resorting to violence is the first step on the road to failure, marries Almalexia - Almalexia of the Erabenimsun, Almalexia the war-leader... no. No, it will definitely be her killing you."
"Well, I'm glad to know what I have to look forward to. I'd hate for something like that to be a surprise."
"Forewarned is forearmed - perhaps literally, in this case. I'll have to think of an appropriate wedding gift." Dumac paused, then raised his goblet. "But first, a toast! To Almalexia and -"
My eyes opened to darkness.
Although I was barely awake, the details of the dream were already fleeing my mind. There'd been a... a mer, I couldn't remember of which race. He'd been... pleased to see me. We'd talked about... what had we talked about?
It was no use, like trying to hold smoke - the harder I tried to grasp it, the more it slipped away between my fingers.
However. I'd had a dream. And although the details were gone, the feelings lingered. The mer - I'd been pleased to see him as well. I'd been relaxed, joking, happy. My lips were still curved in a smile.
I'd had a dream that had actually been good. My previous dreams had left me increasingly unsure as to whether that was even possible.
It was early, and without the jolt of waking up from a nightmare I'd be asleep again within minutes. However, before that happened, there was something I needed to tell my subconscious.
"Much better, thank you," I mumbled. "More like it please..."
"So this is Ald'ruhn? Somehow I was imagining it'd be more impressive."
This was, of course, an abject lie. I remembered how I'd thought the rounded buildings of Balmora looked organic when I first entered the city... oh, how ignorant I'd been. Architectural style aside, Balmorans used perfectly conventional building materials such as stone or wattle and daub. This was something I now realised showed a distinct lack of imagination in comparison to the people of Ald'ruhn, who'd apparently decided lack of wood meant they should make their buildings out of the discarded shells of some sort of crustaceans I guessed were some long-extinct ancestor of the silt strider. At least I hoped they were long-extinct, because it was obvious the species had shrunk quite a bit in the intervening years. The smallest shell I saw was the size of a small house (an easy comparison, since it happened to be one), the largest a jaw-dropping monstrosity that was probably as wide as one of the cantons of Vivec. The idea of stumbling across one of those in the wild... Suffice it to say that from a certain perspective, kagouti bore a remarkable resemblance to fluffy baby bunnies.
Overall, it meant that from a distance Ald'ruhn looked far more like some ancient graveyard of monsters in the middle of the ash wastes than a city, and I'd been hard-put not to goggle as we drew nearer and the scale of everything became more obvious. However, admitting I was impressed would make Varvur smug, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. The look on his face right now was ample revenge for his dig earlier about the habits of thieves - a dig he might claim had been entirely justified by my request earlier as to whether I might be able to take some samples of the lichen growing where his brain should be to see if it had any interesting alchemical properties, but that was a perfidious lie. After all, I had been solely defending myself after his malicious comment about-
It had been a long morning.
Quite frankly, the only part of said morning I thought worth remembering was the healing spell Sosia had taught me for my arm. (She'd called it "amply paid for in entertainment". I was certain I had no idea what she could possibly mean.)
Varvur shot me a glare and marched towards the gate. Apparently I wasn't the only one who'd rather forget the last five hours or so - and unlike me, Varvur hadn't even learned a new spell during the course of it. I fought the urge to inform him of this, possibly while sticking my tongue out at his back and going 'nyah nyah'. No, I told myself, I should be dignified and mature. Prove that I was the better mer here. Besides, in just a few minutes I'd never have to see Varvur again - surely I could manage that long.
Wait. Something was wrong.
The guards at the gate had stopped Varvur and taken him aside. Now the three of them seemed to be having an agitated discussion in Dunmeris, complete with animated gesturing on the part of the guards. Varvur, on the other hand, was shrinking in on himself, arms coming up to wrap around his chest as though to ward something off.
I looked at my companions to see whether either of them understood what was going on. Hisin looked about as confused as I felt, but Sosia was frowning.
Finally, Varvur broke away from the guards and made his way back to us, shoulders slumped.
"It's fine. You can go in," he said quietly, not meeting our eyes. He sounded defeated.
"Wait, what about you?" I was certain I'd heard the slighest of stresses on that 'you'.
"More to the point, what was that about you being a murderer?" Sosia's voice was as cold as Midwinter in the Pale. I looked at her askance - she'd been nothing but friendly and upbeat ever since we'd met. The scowl on her face now looked out of place enough I briefly pondered the possibility of impostors (if it can happen to the Emperor...).
Then what she'd said sunk in.
"Murderer?" I stared at Varvur with new eyes. Next to me, Hisin let out a growl.
"I'm not! I swear! It's..." Varvur sighed. "All right. I'll explain. Just," he glanced around. "Not here, all right? It's a long story."
We moved away from the gate until we were behind one of the towers, out of sight of the guards. Varvur leaned against the wall, looking hunted, while Sosia scowled at him with Hisin looming at her shoulder.
"So, wait," I was still trying to process this. "That cell I broke you out of-"
"Cell?"
I ignored Hisin. "You weren't a kidnapping victim at all, were you?"
"No, I was. Sorry, this gets complicated." Varvur ran a hand through his hair. "When I came- under suspicion, the Archmaster's guards grabbed me. For 'security', he called it. But it was obvious I was meant to be a hostage. My father is... an enemy, I guess you could say, of his. If he had me locked away, he could use me to force my father to stop opposing him in Council, introduce the legislation he wants, do his dirty work for him - all kinds of things, really. By dressing it up as guarding a dangerous murder suspect, he'd stay within the law so none of the guards would lift a finger... and with his political clout, it'd be easy to get a trial delayed indefinitely."
Varvur's shoulders slumped. "Nilos and Volene at the gate, they told me that they had orders to apprehend me and bring me back to Venim," he said quietly. "They're friends of mine and can see this isn't right, so they said they'd let me leave - but if I tried to enter the city they'd have no choice."
"That's all well and good," Sosia said. If Varvur's tale had softened her towards him at all, she didn't show it. "However, I have to admit I'm more interested in the murder suspect part of that story."
"They claim I- I murdered Bralen Carvaren. I wouldn't, I swear!" Varvur added hastily. "Bralen, he's my -" He swallowed. "Was my best friend. Our mothers are friends, we've- we knew each other from the cradle. We were going to join the forces at Marandus together in a few months-" He stopped and turned his head away, but not before I saw the glimmer of tears in his eyes. He was either really upset or a very good actor.
Again, Sosia didn't seem moved by his distress. "What is it you're not telling us?"
Varvur looked taken aback by the question. What he didn't look was confused.
All right, maybe he was a very good actor.
"A few days before Bralen d-" Varvur's voice grew unsteady and he broke off for a moment. "Before he- before, I'd started having these... blackouts. I'd lose track of time, I'd suddenly be somewhere and I couldn't remember where I'd got there or what I'd been doing. When they didn't stop... I was going to go see a healer for help. But then... then Bralen... and I, I wouldn't have killed him, I'd never have killed him! But," Varvur's voice fell to a whisper, "I can't remember what I was doing when he was..."
I gulped. That story was just a little too-
No, Adryn, wait and see what Sosia says. It was still possible Varvur was a very, very good actor, and she'd been much better at spotting dissembling than me so far.
Sosia sighed, the cold look fleeing her face to be replaced by weariness. "All right. I believe you."
"What, you do?" That was Hisin. "That story is so full of holes-"
Sosia's smile was dry and humourless. "I help out at the Temple, did I mention? And something we've been seeing more and more lately is something we've been calling the 'soul sickness'."
Wait, wasn't that...
"The strange dreams?" I asked. Varvur jerked as if someone had struck him.
Sosia shot me a surprised look. "Yes, that's how it starts off. Sometimes, it develops further into black-outs exactly like Varvur described. Witnesses to these often report the people affected acting strangely and doing things that are out of character. This would be the first case of outright murder I've heard of, but-"
No.
"Wait." You could see the blood drain from Varvur's face. "You mean I actually-"
No.
"You shouldn't blame yourself," Sosia advised kindly. "From what we've been able to tell, the effect is much like a Command spell."
Much like a Command spell-
The first thing I notice is a sharp metallic taste in my mouth, so intense it almost makes me retch. It seems to take forever until I recognise it as blood.
The sticky warmth I feel soaking into my shirt must be more blood, as well as the patches staining my trousers. Blood coats my fingers, blood drips from the dagger I'm clutching-
Dagger? Where did that come from?
Forget the dagger, where did all this blood come from? What's going on?
What happened?
I think ba-
I can feel something terrible hidden in my memory of the last few hours, lurking in this room to ambush me, like a kraken laying in wait beneath the smooth surface of the sea. If I just stay right here and don't move, don't look, don't remember, I'll be safe. If I do anything else it'll get me, and if it does-
Don't think. Stand still. And, may any god that would take you have mercy - don't look.
Shouts, coming from outside. Someone pounding on the door. Glancing over is reflex, beyond the realm of conscious decision.
Halfway to the door, my eyes stop, transfixed. I-
I see-
Lying on the floor-
No!
Wrenching myself away from the past was difficult. It didn't want to let me go, clung to me with iron force and tried to drag me down. But I persevered, beating the memories back down again and again with grim determination until they finally stopped trying to claw their way into my mind.
When everything was safely pent up for the moment, I looked around to see what had been going on while I was - distracted.
The other three seemed not to have noticed anything amiss. Good. I had absolutely no intentions of explaining.
"Sorry there's not more I can do, lad," Hisin was saying. He sounded glum. "I won't mention you to the guards, promise."
"I'll ask at the Temple if there's anything we can do to help," Sosia said. "And- if you want me to get a message to your father?"
For a moment, Varvur's face lit up with hope. Then it faded again. "It's... it's probably best for me to avoid contacting him. I expect the Archmaster's spies are going to be watching him - knowing him, he'd take any message as proof that Father is aiding and abetting a fugitive. I couldn't bear it if I got him into trouble."
"What are you going to do now?"
"I-" It was clear from Varvur's expression that he had no idea.
"You could come to Balmora with me." I really hoped the way my voice shook wasn't as obvious to everyone else as it was to me. "I. I have this sudden, strange desire to walk there, you see."
Three pairs of eyes goggled at me.
"I mean," I ploughed on, "I don't think anyone's going to be looking for you there. Especially if this Venim really thinks I'm a Telvanni, or whatever that was. And I've got... some friends." Well, I had Ajira, but I figured she was worth several. "I'm sure we can figure out some way to prove that you were-" I swallowed hard. "Were, um. Controlled."
My audience looked as if they'd been hit by a paralysis spell. I was just wondering whether I'd somehow used my birthsign ability on them without noticing I was doing it or (for that matter) falling unconscious when Sosia moved... sadly, in a direction I could have done without.
I tried to dodge her, but Sosia managed to catch me in a hug despite my best efforts. "Why, Adryn!" She sounded delighted. "Such a generous offer to make, I knew you had it in you!"
Wait, was she accusing me of - I flinched at the word - altruism?
"No, I-"
Both my protest and my struggle to escape went unheeded, Sosia's arms tightening around me as she went on.
"I do commend you! Such selflessness and compassion - you might think about becoming a healer one day! I'm sure you and Varvur will do very well if you keep those things in mind."
"You've misun-" I tried to yank out of her hold.
Was this a Breton or a clinging octopus? It was getting hard to tell.
"Now, remember the spell I taught you. Like I told you, you can leave your arm out of the sling if you're careful but you absolutely must cast it morning and evening for at least two days, don't forget. But I really must be off - Varvur-"
Then I was released as the whirlwind that was Sosia accosted Varvur. I backed away, taking some amount of pleasure in the horrified expression on his face.
"Lass!"
I glared at Hisin. (Two syllables!)
Again, he was sadly undaunted. "A bit of advice as a farewell. Now, I know you're a redhead and all and these things are a mite tricky for you. All the same, maybe you'll get something useful out of the way Hisin here keeps his temper, hmm?"
I raised an eyebrow at the insinuation that I had a temper problem, something I felt was obviously untrue. Well, I supposed I could humour the delusional man for a little. "Oh?"
"See, anytime when I think I'm going to say something..." he coughed, "something that's maybe not entirely diplomatic, heat of the moment and all, I make myself count to ten in Aldmeris first."
I blinked. "But I don't know any Aldmeris."
"Excellent! Neither do I. That's why it works, see?" Hisin clapped me on the shoulder. By the time I recovered my balance enough to retaliate, he'd already retreated out of range.
And then they were gone.
There was a long moment of silence in which Varvur looked at me dubiously.
"Look, if you're counting on the bounty for turning me in-" he started.
Wait. This was his response to my very generous offer to help him out, purely out of the goodness of my heart?
I took several steps forward until I was standing right in front of him, wishing for once in my life that I was taller. Don't get me wrong, being on the short side has all sorts of advantages - ranging from far greater blanket coverage on cold nights to a much reduced chance of concussions from low doorframes. However, right now I couldn't help but think I'd be more intimidating if I came up higher than Varvur's chin.
I planted my hand on my hip, partially to help the intimidation factor but mostly to make sure it wouldn't end up in his face. I like to think that I'm not a violent person, but not slapping him was taking a lot of my willpower. "Tell me. When we were young, did I kick your dog? Break your favourite toy? Kidnap your teddy bear and hold it for ransom? All of these seem a little unlikely given that I grew up on the other side of Tamriel, but maybe I had some sort of freak teleportation accident in my sleep. I certainly don't know how else to explain why you're acting like this!"
"But..." Varvur seemed puzzled. "You laugh at the notion of honour, so if you're not hoping for a reward, then why... or is it that you're hoping for one from my father?"
Forget lichen, was there anything in his head? If I looked into his ear, would I see sunlight? "For your information," I said, biting off each word, "I just-"
The taste of blood in my mouth-
I licked my lips and tried again. "I think-"
Don't look-
"Nobody should ever be forced to kill their best friends." Each word felt as if it had actual weight when it fell from my lips, and when I'd finished speaking I felt dizzy and strangely adrift.
Don't remember-
Yes. Not remembering was definitely the way to go here.
"I'm sorry."
"Huh?" I stared at Varvur. I'd been a little- absorbed in my thoughts, so surely I hadn't heard that right. Had he just-
"I'm sorry," he repeated. Yes, he'd apologised. I cast a quick glance skywards to check for airborne farm animals.
"I- misjudged you, I think." Varvur seemed to find his shoes suddenly fascinating. "It- in my defense, it hasn't been the best few days, and the way we- Anyway. I... may have jumped to conclusions."
Well, there were no flying pigs in evidence, although I'd be interested to know the current temperature in the Deadlands. "Apology accepted," I said, then paused. Well, I could afford to be gracious. "I might not have been the most - um. Congenial person, either. Sorry about that."
"Yes, you really-" Varvur coughed. "I mean, right. Apology, um, accepted."
I could almost get used to Varvur like this. Besides, if I was really going to help him out it'd be best if we weren't at each other's throats constantly.
"Truce?" I asked, holding out my hand.
Varvur took it. "Truce," he agreed.
(It lasted ten minutes.)
The caravan master studied both of us critically.
"Travellers, you say? To Balmora? Hm. Hmm." He rubbed one of his tusks.
"We'd really appreciate it if we could travel with you that far." I smiled to underscore our image of harmless wanderers.
The whole thing was Varvur's fault.
First, he'd nixed my suggestion of heading to Caldera and taking the guild guide from there, explaining that it was more likely guards in an Imperial town were on the look-out for him than Hlaalu ones. Since he was a noble who'd lapped up politics with his mother's milk (in the fleeting moments of spare time he had when he wasn't busy being dropped on his head, no doubt) and I'd been in Morrowind for all of a week, I'd given way to his greater experience on the subject. Grudgingly.
Then he'd suggested banding together with any other travellers we found. I'd argued that this was not precisely a clever way for a wanted fugitive to behave. I'd been quite proud of that argument, thank you. It had been painstakingly assembled, custom-made for exactly this situation and no other, every word of it crafted with care. Alas, it had met utter, merciless defeat at the hands of Varvur's counter-argument - which, to add insult to injury, was crude, hastily thrown together with no craftsmanship or artistic feeling at all. It consisted of only two words: the wildlife.
Frankly, I could have done without the demonstration. We'd spent what felt like hours hiding in the mouth of a cave waiting for the reptilian flying things that seemed to consist entirely of sharp beak and ear-piercing screech to give up and leave. Varvur had called them 'cliff racers', a name I quite understood seeing as I'd rather race off a cliff than face them again. Varvur had also explained that they were usually harmless scavengers (I found this statement rather hard to believe), but sometimes banded together in flocks to take down live prey if times were lean. Apparently they weren't particularly discerning when it came to the size of said prey.
At any rate, the whole thing meant that when we crested a saddle between two hills to see a train of wagons drawn by funny-looking two-legged reptiles, I only put up token resistance when Varvur insisted on going down to see if they'd let us tag along.
"I'm... Tadril Saren," Varvur was saying now.
I tried not to react with obvious surprise and mentally vowed that the next chance I got, I would have a long discussion with Varvur about letting your compatriots in on your false name ahead of time. "Adryn," I offered.
The caravan master gave us a skeptical look. I hoped it was just the usual 'what, a Dunmer without a family name?' look instead of having noticed something off about 'Tadril''s introduction. "Greetings," he finally offered. "Shazgob gro-Luzgan. Out of Ebonheart."
"Well met," I responded. Gro-Luzgan didn't respond, but his expression made me suspect he wasn't ready to commit to the well part of that just yet. "Would you be willing to take us on? We can work to help the caravan." I probably also had enough money to buy passage, but would rather keep that as a last resort - I was getting quite worried about my lack of income. "I can-"
I was about to say something like 'lift boxes... small ones', except that Varvur decided this was the perfect time for a little revenge.
"Oh," he interrupted, "she's quite the mage. You wouldn't believe what she can do with a Mysticism spell."
His innocent expression was ruined by the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. I bit the inside of my cheek and considered my options for retribution.
"Well," I said, keeping my tone sweet, "he'll tell you himself he's capable of taking down a rampaging barbarian, unarmed. And that axe there is a family heirloom." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Varvur shoot me a glare. I ignored it.
Gro-Luzgan was not looking much more confident in us, but we must have convinced him of something because he gave a nod. "All right. If that's so, you can come along. Now. I don't know or care about whatever it is you might be running from," I tried not to cringe too obviously, "but if you cause any trouble for anyone here, you're out. And just so you know..."
His voice grew cold. "If you're here thinking you can lure us into an ambush... I'd think again, I really would. We've tangled with bandits before. Since I'm the one standing here I think you can guess who won."
"I'd never!" Varvur protested, shocked. "Such a dishonourable betrayal would be unworthy of-"
I stepped on his foot. I suspected the end of that sentence ran along the lines of a true son of House Redoran, which would draw exactly the attention we were trying to avoid. "What he means is, we're honest folk," I said. My fixed smile was starting to make my cheeks hurt. "Wouldn't dream of betraying you like that."
Gro-Luzgan eyed us dubiously. "I guess we'll see about that. Now, our schedule has us in Balmora tomorrow evening. We'll be camping near Caldera tonight. I can lend you a bedroll and a tent if you'd like to share-"
Wait, did he think we-
Varvur and I stared at each other. Judging by the abject horror in his gaze, we were in perfect agreement for the first time since we'd met.
"No!"
"...right." Gro-Luzgan's eyebrows seemed to be making a bid for freedom. "In that case, I can lend you two bedrolls, and the lady can bunk down with Gelduin - one of our scouts. If you're so slick with Mysticism," I heaped a thousand curses on Varvur, "you can help her out during the day. We could use someone who knows their way around a detection spell, can keep an eye out for cliff racer flocks, nix-hound packs, kagouti in heat - the usual. And bandits, of course." The glance he gave us made me think he wasn't quite convinced we weren't part of that last group.
My knees grew weak with relief. I happened to be quite proud of my detection spells, thank you. "I can do that," I told him, and ignored Varvur's dubious glance with the grace and aplomb of someone perfectly secure in her skills, thank you very much.
"We'll see," was gro-Luzgan's only comment. "Gelduin's over there," he nodded in the direction of a leather-clad Bosmer sitting on the back of a wagon inspecting arrows. "Go tell her I sent you, she'll put you to work."
As I left, I heard him mutter, "I guess if worst comes to worst, they can provide for evening entertainment."
Gelduin was decidedly unimpressed to be saddled with me if her grumbling about 'rank amateurs' was anything to go by. Other bits of grumbling made me suspect that this little excursion was less about how to best utilise my magical abilities and more about keeping me firmly under the nose of someone gro-Luzgan trusted. I wasn't offended - I'd probably have been careful in his position, too.
She did thaw visibly when I demonstrated that I did, in fact, know how to move silently and take cover, even if I wasn't used to doing so in wilderness. It reached the point where she didn't even yell at me after having to yank me away to keep me from standing upwind of a kagouti.
"Sorry," I apologised after Gelduin used her native Bosmer magic to lure it away. "I'm not used to trying to avoid animals that can pick up on your scent."
Gelduin looked at me for a moment, then nodded, as though I'd just confirmed a suspicion of hers. "I see. My guess is you do a bit more avoiding animals that are clad in armour and call themselves 'guards'?"
"Um-" I kicked myself for being obvious.
"No worries," Gelduin said. "I've done a bit of that myself, back in the day. Left it all behind when I came to Vvardenfell, oh... is it already thirty years ago? Enough opportunities to earn my money in other ways here. But I grew up in Imperial City, the Waterfront. Only a few ways of making your living there, and I never did care for lying on my back and letting men paw at me."
I relaxed. Not only was she not outraged by my criminal past, but it sounded as if she was unlikely to have any current Guild contacts.
"That sounds familiar," I said. "I'm not from Imperial City, but I had... similar experiences. I joined the Mages' Guild in Balmora, never seemed to be an option before."
"Not a bad choice, I suppose - if you like guilds. I'm more of a loner myself, work as a scout and hunter. I actually spend most of my time in the east, sometimes around Azura's Coast but mostly in the Grazelands. Now that's the region to be!" Gelduin's eyes lit up. "Rolling hills of wickwheat shining gold in the sun, no settlements as far as the eye can see, Red Mountain towering over it all in the distance... I've never seen the famed forests of Valenwood, but I can't imagine how they'd compare. You do have to mind the Daedra, but that just makes it a interesting challenge."
"Mind the Daedra?" My voice came out as a squeak.
Gelduin shrugged, as if she didn't see anything wrong with the sentence she'd just uttered. "You run into one wandering there on occasion. Mostly scamps and the occasional Ogrim, but one time I saw a Golden Saint. Ended up hiding in an ancestral tomb until I was sure it had gone, because I'd much rather tangle with any number of ghosts and skeletons than one of those. Er, no offense intended," she added hastily.
I wondered what exactly she'd thought I'd take offense at. Did I look like a Golden Saint? Well, perhaps a little irrationality was to be expected from someone who thought dodging one was an 'interesting challenge'.
"I think I'll stick to the west coast," I commented. "That sounds like the kind of excitement I'd rather avoid."
Gelduin frowned at me.
"See, that's what you think," she said. "But you know what's on the west coast? Daedric ruins. There are a few in the east, but the terrain's flat enough that you can see 'em and avoid 'em. The west coast is infested with the things - and then the West Gash is so hilly, and the Bitter Coast has all those trees blocking clear view and the swamps mean buildings sink - you're wandering around thinking a kagouti's the most dangerous thing you can run into and next thing you know you're standing at the entrance to a shrine and have two Dremora, a clannfear and a fireball bearing on you." Gelduin rubbed her side, apparently remembering some old injury. "Give me the Grazelands any day. At least there you see them coming, and you'd have to be really unlucky to face more than one at a time."
"All right, I amend my previous statement," I announced. "I'm sticking to cities. You know, those mysterious places where you run into no rampaging Daedra at all."
I realised that I'd just left the perfect opening for her to ask what, exactly, I was doing in the middle of the wilderness in that case, and cast about hurriedly for a change of subject. "Why do you have Daedra roaming the Grazelands, anyway?" I'd heard of land-owners being tolerant of tenants of all races and backgrounds before, but allowing colonists from Oblivion seemed to be taking that a little too far to me.
Gelduin shrugged. "No one really knows, but the usual story is that it's some Telvanni experiment gone horribly wrong. Seems pretty likely - it definitely wouldn't be the strangest thing I've seen come out of one of those."
"...I see," I said. Varvur had been unable to quantify Telvanni beyond mages, east coast and the extremely helpful 'they're... they're Telvanni', but this was more informative.
Apparently Telvanni were those sorts of mages, the reason the Mages' Guild has strict rules every guild member is to follow hanging at every guild hall. I'd spent some time reading through them Fredas evening, and they were quite frankly enough to make you despair. It began with
1. All experimental spells are to be first tested on inanimate objects, then on summons or animals. Tests on people are only to proceed once these two have been successful. This includes self-tests!
The next few rules appeared to have been added to cover loopholes:
2. No spells are to be cast on others without informing them of the details and risks involved and getting their permission (in that order).
3. Creatures used for testing must be either owned/summoned by the mage in question or used with the owner/summoner's informed permission (see 2.)
My favourite example had been
10. Destruction spells are only to be practiced in the designated practice chamber on the dummies provided. In particular, under no circumstances should you use any of the following as a practice target: customers, fellow guild members, summoned Daedra, any potentially explosive material including but not limited to all potions, load-bearing pillars.
Trying to imagine what had prompted some of those details had left me boggling.
"Speaking of mages," Gelduin said, "You said you know some detection spells? If so, it'd be useful if you could keep watch for creatures. Atronach-born," she added as if to forestall any questions. "I can't throw my magicka around willy-nilly like you people."
I'd have liked to dispute 'willy-nilly', since it wasn't like I could just burn magicka in the way of an Altmer or even a Mage-born. Then again, it was probably true that I could afford to be more cavalier with it than someone who had to either drink potions or fling themselves in the way of hostile spells, praying all the while, to recover their reserves. I couldn't even imagine what that must be like, but even trying made me shudder - I'd take the Lover over that any day. In any case, a detection spell wasn't much of a drain.
I closed my eyes and stretched out with my awareness. When I'd reached a good range, I began the process of 'tuning' it. This always felt a little like sinking into some pool, trying to find the right depth to sense whatever I was searching for.
A beacon like a lighthouse to the north, more various distances away to the south and southeast - the teleportation points for the Temples, was my guess. Definitely not what I was looking for. Deeper.
A blaze of power on my chest, two more from Gelduin's bow and left hand along with pinpricks from her quiver, an impression of more in the distance which must be the caravan - all of them humming with magicka. Nothing else. Well, it was a relief to know we didn't have bandits with enchanted weapons hiding in ambush, but still not right. Deeper.
There!
Like surfacing from the depths into a starry night, I felt the whole world awash in life. Grass grew towards the sun, bushes stretched their roots into the earth, sap moved through the veins of gnarled trees. Beneath my feet earthworms dug tiny tunnels through the soil, just ahead a bee flew from flower to flower, three feet behind me a line of ants trundled back to their nest bearing scraps of leaves. Against this backdrop, Gelduin and I stood out like torches, the caravan a distant bonfire. And there- up ahead-
I opened my eyes, still holding the spell. That was always a strange sensation, integrating the information from both magical impressions and ordinary sight - like double vision without actually seeing anything differently. I blinked and shook my head a few times until I was used to it.
"There's something over there," I said, pointing. "Around, oh, two hundred feet away, behind the top of that hill. Not a person, an animal of some sort - I'm not sure what kind. But..."
I frowned. That was odd.
"It feels... strange."
The life force I sensed was pulsating strangely. It also felt oddly... obscured, the bright flame of life half-hidden by a strange shadow hanging around it like a dark haze. I'd never sensed anything like it before, but I thought the closest I'd come was a tree being slowly strangled by mistletoe.
Also, focusing on whatever it was was making me feel sick to my stomach. That was definitely a first.
"I think there's something wrong with it," I decided.
"Something wrong with it?" Gelduin repeated, puzzled. "How do you... well, I suppose it doesn't matter. Let's go have a look."
She vanished into the bushes. With a sigh, I followed her.
I relaxed and let the spell go when the creature came into view. It was one of the two-legged reptilian creatures I'd first seen pulling the caravan earlier. Gelduin had said they were 'guar', herbivores that were commonly domesticated as work animals as well as for their hide and meat. Numerous wild ones roamed Vvardenfell, and although they'd attack if they felt they needed to defend their herd they much preferred fleeing to fighting. We'd driven off a few earlier, undoubtedly Gelduin would do the same here-
There was a loud twang.
The arrow flew straight, slamming into the beast's left eye with the light and crackle of released magicka. The guar thrashed and let out a horrible high-pitched squeal that had me wincing and covering my ears - a sound cut short by the second arrow lodging in its throat. The guar reared up one last time, then collapsed with a gurgle.
I gulped. That noise- "Why did you kill it?"
Gelduin moved ahead carefully, a third arrow nocked. She stopped when she was still a good distance away from the beast. "Look," she said.
I moved forward to join her. For a moment, I didn't understand what she meant, then I saw it.
Unlike the other guar we'd seen, the skin of this one was an unhealthy-looking grey. The colour wasn't as obvious from a distance, however, because the skin was covered in weeping pustules and blisters - had even flaked off entirely in places. The exposed patches looked red and inflamed, and a few of them oozed yellow pus. There was pink foam around the corner of its mouth, reminding me of a rabid bear I'd had the misfortune to see once. A sickly sweet rotting smell filled the air.
I think there's something wrong with it, I'd said. I'd had no idea how right I was.
I swallowed back bile. "That's... what happened to it?"
Gelduin gave me an odd look. "You must be very new to Vvardenfell indeed. That's the Blight."
"Blight?" I repeated.
"It's a new kind of disease, only started showing up in the last five years or so. Affects animals and people, and it's terrible, absolutely terrible. Animals always become very aggressive, basically rabid... and surprisingly tenacious. I've seen a rat with Black-Heart still attacking with its spine almost severed and guts spilling out - if I hadn't used enchanted arrows, we might have had a fight on our hands with this one." She nodded at the dead guar. "People... well. The exact symptoms vary depending on which type it is, but they're always nasty. Worse, it's infectious and the usual Restoration magic for treating diseases doesn't work on it at all. When it first started showing up, people were worried we'd have another Thrassian plague on our hands. Honestly, I'm not entirely convinced yet we don't."
"You're serious." I stepped back, staring at the beast with entirely new eyes.
"Dead serious. Yakin Bael, the priest at the Temple in Vos - when the outbreaks started, he worked night and day to try to get them under control. In the end he finally managed to develop spells that work on the Blight - better for some varieties than others, mind you. But he hasn't managed to find a cure yet, and..." she lowered her voice. "I heard, recently he was asking Divayth Fyr for help. Because he thought it might be related to corprus."
Judging by the significant look Gelduin shot me, that was supposed to mean something to me, and most likely said something was bad. But before I could decide whether I really wanted to know what 'corprus' was, she went on.
"So now if you catch a Blight disease... if you're lucky, it'll be no worse than greenspore or rockjoint."
If you're lucky? I'd had rockjoint a few years ago and hadn't managed to reach a healer before it set in. The resulting two weeks of lying in bed with all my joints in agony, needing to be fed because I couldn't hold even a spoon with my fingers so swollen, were prominent on my list of experiences never to be repeated.
"If you're not, well... you might still survive." Gelduin shrugged, as if to say that all bets were off. I took a step back. "So when you run across a blighted animal," she jerked her head towards the guar, "best thing you can really do is put it out of its misery from a safe distance and then burn the body. Speaking of, I don't suppose you know a fire spell?"
"Only a touch-based one," I said. "But if I understand you correctly, I really don't want to get that close to it."
Gelduin shook her head. "No. You really, really don't. Oh well, time for me to sacrifice some of my magicka for a good cause."
When we left the clearing, the dead guar was a bonfire spewing oily smoke. I covered my mouth against the stench of burning, diseased flesh as I mulled over what I'd learned. It could really be boiled down to the following:
As soon as I got back to Balmora, I was never voluntarily setting foot outside of a city again for as long as I lived.
"I don't suppose you can teach me that Detection spell?" Gelduin said abruptly.
I shot her a look. "I thought you couldn't, what was it again... throw your magicka about willy-nilly?"
"I can't," Gelduin agreed, apparently unfazed by my throwing her words back into her face. "But - look, kid." I bristled. She didn't pay me any mind. "You just sensed that guar was blighted with your spell. I've never seen anyone do that before. The closest would be the diagnosis spells some healers use, and they actually have to be touching you for those to work. What you did- believe me, I could use a trick like that. And I'm not the only one."
Now that was strange. It wasn't as if I'd developed the spell myself, or even really tried to refine it. I'd taught it to myself from one of the standard Mysticism textbooks. It had taken me weeks to get it down, and when it finally clicked I was so happy to have managed to learn it I didn't try to get creative. Surely it was just the bog-standard variety that everyone used?
Of course, maybe everyone else was just really incompetent. I've learned through long, hard experience never to underestimate the likelihood of this.
"Tell you what," Gelduin offered, apparently thinking my silence meant refusal, "if you teach me how to do that, I'll teach you some things about moving unseen in the wilderness and how it's different from the city, and I'll also hook you up with some people who would pay good drakes for that trick of yours."
All right. That was an offer I wasn't going to turn down.
Sadly for both my sneaking skills and my purse, it didn't pan out. Apparently my teaching ability went past 'bad' and left 'terrible' in the dust to become some indescribable monstrosity the likes of which the world had never seen before, because the more I attempted to explain exactly what I did to cast my spell the more Gelduin just stared at me as though I were speaking Aldmeris. By the time afternoon had given way to evening, her expression indicated I'd managed to go from Aldmeris - which, although incomprehensible, at least had a few common elements with Tamrielic - to Yoku, Daedric, or possibly Sload. Finally, Gelduin sighed and said we'd better head back to the caravan. I apologised, blaming my inexperience - I'd never tried to teach anyone a spell before, after all. Gelduin just shrugged.
"If you work it out, the offer remains open," she said.
At least I seemed to have made a good impression on her all the same. After speaking to Gelduin, gro-Luzgan looked almost approving (a remarkably disconcerting sight) when he told me I'd done well that day and wasn't needed for night watch. A fact I was thankful for for two reasons: first, between scouting and my miserable failure at teaching, I'd drained my magicka reserves entirely and was looking forward to a good night's sleep to replenish them. Second, it seemed Varvur hadn't been lucky enough to get exempted and so I had something to hold over his head.
Dinner - a large bowl of unidentifiable-chunks-of-meat stew which was one of the best things I had ever tasted (my empty stomach might have played a role in this assessment) - provided a good opportunity to start on both annoying Varvur and recharging my magicka. All the same, the stress of the day made itself known and so it wasn't much later that I settled onto my borrowed bedroll in Gelduin's tent. She was still out, conferring with gro-Luzgan - I'd caught the word blighted as I passed them, so I guessed the guar we'd found had bothered her even more than she'd let on - and I had the tent to myself for now. I'd taken the opportunity to change and perform my evening ablutions in blessed privacy, and now there was only one last thing to do before bed.
I studied my arm. I'd been very careful with it that day and it was feeling much better, with only the occasional dull ache. Still, Sosia had been quite firm: I was to use my new healing spell twice a day for a while longer so it would be fully healed.
"The key of any self-directed healing spell," Sosia said, "is that you need to have a really firm image in your mind of what the affected area is meant to look like, what shape your body is meant to be in - and then use magicka to impose that image on reality."
She paused and looked at me as though waiting for something. She was far more serious when teaching, but right now there was a mischievous look in her eyes which made me remember she was someone who'd thought divesting Hlormar Wine-Sot of all his clothes qualified as appropriate revenge.
"Well, aren't you going to say something like 'that's all'?" Sosia asked when I stayed silent. I had the feeling she'd been looking forward to that particular ignorant comment, and found myself grateful I'd noticed the conversational trap.
"I figured it can't be that easy, considering how much training healers have to undergo," I responded.
Sosia pouted. Apparently I'd ruined her fun. "You're right, of course. For all people say they know something 'as well as the back of their own hand', could you describe the back of your hand perfectly without looking? Sketch it just from memory? Building up a really strong and detailed self-image is hard work."
"Wait a minute," I said warily. My teleportation misadventures were fresh in my mind. "Can healing spells go wrong? If you screw up on your... self-image?" My imagination was coming up with horrible images of me daydreaming in the middle of the healing spell and ending up with a second hand instead of a less broken bone. I silently cursed it for being quite so vivid.
"Oh, not the minor spells - which are all you'd be capable of right now. They just fizzle."
That was reassuring, but I noticed a glaring omission there. "And major spells?"
Sosia paused. "...That's why people have to practice and get the minor spells down perfectly before they try anything bigger. And if worst comes to worst, the body does reject mistakes over time."
Right.
"Visualise in detail what the affected area is meant to look like," I muttered and closed my eyes to focus. I emphatically shut out the image of me with a third hand, then did the same for that of the extra hand atrophying and falling off as my body 'rejected' it (although I was sure it had been meant as a reassuring statement, I felt this did not constitute an improvement of my mental landscape). After all, Sosia had said that was only an issue for major spells and minor spells could only fizzle, so I had nothing to worry about.
I steadfastly ignored the small voice in the back of my mind pointing out that I'd also been told the most teleportation spells could do was fizzle.
So. Focus on what your arm is meant to look like...
After a moment, I cracked my eyes open and rolled up one of my sleeves to take a close look at my uninjured left arm. You might call it cheating, I called it being smart about things.
I'd never exactly had much weight to spare, but once upon a time I'd at least been able to lay claim to 'wiry' without too much laughter. Alas, the last year had put that firmly into the past - I'd definitely lost weight, both muscle and otherwise. At the moment you could get a far better look at my skeletal structure than I thought entirely within the bounds of propriety. I should probably start taking second helpings at dinner. For now, it at least made it obvious that on this side of my body, my bones were wonderfully, gloriously whole.
My arm was covered in fine, pale hairs that were effectively invisible unless you were close enough to either be me or be about to get my fist in your face (I take my personal space quite seriously). My skin was grey, of course...
Detail. 'Grey' covered a lot of ground. Here in Morrowind I'd seen Dunmer of all sorts of colourings, ranging from a pale pearly cast that made them look almost like an extremely unwell Nord to a grey so dark it was close to black. Some had a blue or purple tint to their skin, some the slightest cast of green, a few even shading into brownish - although I suspected that last might imply another race on the father's side.
So. My arm was a dusky grey located firmly in the middle range of the spectrum - perhaps as dark as some of the darker-skinned Nibeneans, paler now than it had been when I was a child due to lack of sun. Although it looked slightly reddish right now, that was just the lighting. Really it was a plain, pure grey with no hint of any other colour.
I closed my eyes and focused on the image of my arm... flipped it, added a mole here and removed one there, remembered the five pinprick scars on my upper arm... there, that looked right. Now draw on your magicka...
Even through my eyelids, I could tell when light blossomed around me and grew. I opened my eyes just in time to see it gather around my arm and then sink into it.
No extra hands appeared, nor did any other horrible mutations I'd been carefully not thinking about materialise. What did happen was that the dull ache faded even further. I bit back a cheer at the success. Then I had to fight off a surge of dizziness as the pool of magicka I'd regenerated over the course of the evening informed me it had opted not to exist after all. Sosia hadn't been kidding when she'd said healing spells really took it out of you.
I lay down on the bedroll and wriggled around until I was comfortable. Then I paused.
"Good dreams, please," I said sternly.
The tavern was dimly lit and filled with smoke. I found myself grateful for the scarf I'd wrapped around my mouth. I'd used it to fool the Nord guards outside, who were only able to distinguish between Chimer and Dwemer on the basis of 'does it have a beard?' - I hadn't realised it could also save me from suffocation.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
Of course, Dwemer themselves were perfectly capable of telling a Chimer. Never to mention that to anyone capable of counting higher than two without taking off their shoes (I suspected fingers were too advanced a concept for some of these Nords), my chitin armour and spear made my race obvious. No Dwemer I've ever seen appreciates chitin - they seem to think there's nothing that can't be improved by making it out of metal instead. I keep waiting for them to build a giant statue out of the stuff and start worshipping it.
"Sorry to intrude," I said, finding that I was, in fact, deeply sorry to intrude. The glitter of at least a dozen pairs of alien black eyes, all fixed on me, made me want to forget my plan and flee back to my tribe. But I ploughed on. "I'm looking for the Brothers of Resdayn?"
Silence spread out from me like ripples in a pond, broken only by clanking noises as some of the mer who'd been watching me got to their feet (you see what I mean about the metal?). I swallowed when I saw hands drift to hilts.
Perhaps that had been too blunt? Our Wise Woman had always said that my complete and utter inability to use this strange thing called 'tact' would be the end of me one day. I had to admit I'd hoped that day wouldn't come quite this soon.
"Well, boys," one of the Dwemer around me said. "Looks like we need to move. Our security must be dismal if one of the Daedric bootlickers managed to find us."
"Yeah, we definitely need a new place if they're letting chimps in," another Dwemer agreed, one who looked... disturbingly like all the others around him, actually. I briefly considered the possibility that I'd just entered the home of identical quindecaplets - the poor mother! - then discarded it. I lingered longer over the idea of there being some truth in those Solstice tales about Dwemer children being grown in vats (some sort of chemical contamination might explain the lack of intelligence in this group - really, 'chimp'? That's just embarrassing coming from anyone over the age of five), but decided in the end that my ability to tell Dwemer apart could probably use some work.
"Good idea, but we should beat him up a little first. Make him tell us who let things slip." All right, maybe there were more important things to worry about than Dwemer reproduction.
"Wait. I want to talk to him." The voice from the back of the room made the Dwemer who'd been circling me like cliff racers who'd just spotted something shiny (an unfair comparison really, cliff racers being so much more intelligent) back off. The crowd around them parted to let me through. Someone with authority, then. Maybe my plan wasn't a total loss.
At the back of the room sat a Dwemer, one who looked much like all the other Dwemer except that his vat had apparently been running on a bigger scale. It was enough to make me wish for once in my life that I was taller. I was usually perfectly all right with being wiry rather than muscular and a little short (all manly posturing aside, the easier time I had hiding wasn't to be sneezed at), but it was hard not to wish for a few more inches and a little more biceps when faced with a mer who looked as though he could snap me in half.
Given the lack of other distinguishing features, I mentally dubbed him 'Dwarf-Orc'. I immediately warned my tongue not to let that moniker slip.
Dwarf-Orc peered at me. "I'd like to ask you some questions, Chimer. But I want to see who I'm talking to. Otherwise, I'll let Cuolec and Mzend continue what I interrupted."
What-
Oh, the scarf.
I bid a sad farewell to breathable air and pushed the cloth covering my mouth down. I inhaled very carefully, giving my lungs time to adjust. I didn't think hacking and coughing would help my standing here.
Murmurs started up around the two of us.
"...you know I'm not good with these beardless faces, but..."
"...shouldn't he be with his mother sacrificing guar to Daedra or whatever it is these barbarians do?"
"...a kid?"
Kid? I'd completed the ritual of adulthood over two years ago, thank you very much. I'd like to see any of these brutes manage the same. It'd be a good laugh, watching them trying to survive in the wilderness on their own for a full month, especially when with all that clank they'd scare away all the creatures in miles by just standing up-
I swallowed down my protests, firmly telling myself that 'kid' was better than 'chimp' any day. If they'd managed to see past the chitin to my age, that was progress already.
Dwarf-Orc didn't react beyond a nod. "All right, then. Why are you here?"
"I'm interested in working with you." I was pleased that the words came out steady.
I was less pleased when the Dwemer erupted in laughter.
"Working with us?" Dwarf-Orc drawled once the noise had died down. He hadn't laughed, but something about the set of his mouth told me it had been a struggle. "Aren't there any Chimer resistance groups you could join?"
"Oh, there are. In fact, I lead one," only because we'd lost everyone more suited in the last raid, but that fell into the category of 'need-to-know' information. To be precise, into the category of information they really, really didn't need to know. "Sorry, I should have been clearer - I'm not interested in joining you, I'm interested in allying with you."
This time nobody laughed. Somehow, I suspected this didn't constitute an improvement.
"Why, exactly, do you think I'd be interested in making alliance with a group of Chimer?" There was something dangerous in Dwarf-Orc's tone. All right, definitely not an improvement.
"Well, for one I'm hoping you're not stupid." The words escaped before I could stop them, and I winced when I saw Dwarf-Orc's eyes narrow. The Wise Woman had also said that the only way I'd cut it as a diplomat would be with divine assistance. I'd so hoped this little jaunt wouldn't prove her right.
"Explain." The voice was cold, but Dwarf-Orc hadn't reached for his axe yet. That was probably the best I could hope for.
"Look-" I spread my hands. "The only way those Nords were able to conquer us was by playing us against each other. Everyone knows Chimer and Dwemer get along about as well as alit and nix-hounds. Even now, with those round-ears driving us off our land, taking our goods... walking through our halls," I added for my Dwemer audience, "we're at each other's throats. And that means we can't shake them off."
I took a deep breath, wishing for some water to wet my throat. But I couldn't stop now - I had them listening, I had to make the most of it. "Us Chimer, we're good at guerilla tactics. Hit-and-run, fading away, sabotage, using the terrain to our advantage. But we don't have the staying power, and don't have the sort of arms and armour we'd need to survive a head-on clash... or to be really dangerous to them. Without that, all we can be is a nuisance. And as for you Dwemer-" I paused. Judging by the looks I was getting, I had the impression that continuing that sentence wouldn't be good for my health.
Dwarf-Orc, however, looked thoughtful. "We've got the weapons, the armour, the staying power," he offered. "But we're bad at scouting, hiding, moving quickly. The elders say that when the Nords invaded, they kept luring our troops into ambushes. And now it turns out the old tactics don't work well for a rebellion."
A low murmur of discontent was rising from the Dwemer around us - I wasn't sure if they were objecting to what Dwarf-Orc was saying, or just objecting to him telling me.
"You see," I seized the opportunity to continue before things could degenerate, "neither of us can drive out the Nords out on our own. We definitely can't do it while trying to fight each other at the same time, or with them playing us off against each other. There's a saying about the enemy of one's enemy which I think all of us could do to heed. And if everyone is really so keen on killing each other because of theological differences, we can always get back to that after we've driven the northmen out of our home."
I bit the inside of my cheek. I hadn't meant to say that last part out loud-
But Dwarf-Orc was laughing. "Well said, well said! I agree in every instance, particularly the last-"
"You can't be serious?" The interruption came from one of the other Dwemer, who looked aghast. Provided I was reading his expression correctly through the growth on his face. "The Chimer are just as bad-"
Dwarf-Orc fixed him with a cold look. "When I want your opinion, Rourken, I'll ask for it. Until then, if you have any objections to my leadership? The door is that way." The mer subsided, grumbling.
Dwarf-Orc turned back to me. "I'm Dumac - I'm the leader of this band."
Just Dumac? What a pity, he'd seemed reasonably intelligent up until now (a sadly rare occurrence), but if he was really stupid enough to think I'd believe he was of no clan, that I'd just roll over and take such an insult-
Wait. Dwemer.
Cultural differences, I told myself sternly. Remember cultural differences!
"And who would you be, ally?" Dwa- Dumac asked, extending his hand.
Ally. Praise Azura. I hadn't expected this to actually work.
I reached out and clasped the offered hand to seal the agreement, hoping he wouldn't notice the way my own was shaking. "My name is-"
We reached Balmora in the early evening of the next day. The guards waved us through without a closer look - I wasn't sure if it was because of the hubbub of the caravan arriving or because Varvur had been right regarding local politics and the likelihood of the Balmoran guards being on the look-out for criminals from Ald'ruhn.
Our good-byes to gro-Luzgan were quite perfunctory, as he was busy arranging camping grounds outside the city for the night. He did give me a grunt that sounded approving, which I figured qualified as high praise for my efforts and abilities. My farewell to Gelduin took longer, and she left saying not just that I was welcome to travel with the caravan again anytime I liked, but also that she'd drop in to catch up when she was next in Balmora. I liked to think her interest in continuing our acquaintance was due to my charming personality, but suspected she still held hopes I'd manage to teach her my detection spell.
At any rate, the sun had nearly set by the time Varvur and I were finally walking away from the caravan. Only the very tops of the hills around the city were still bathed in light, and to the east Masser - almost full - was already visible.
I grabbed Varvur by the arm and dragged him towards the Mages' Guild. He resisted. "Oi! What's the hurry?"
Did he really just ask what the hurry was? "We have to get back before-"
-the sun sets, I almost said, but caught myself just in time.
Balmora. I was in Balmora, not Daggerfall. I hadn't lived in Daggerfall for almost a decade, you'd think I'd be over this by now.
Besides, last I heard the curfew there was no longer as... strictly imposed, shall we say, with extremely harsh penalties for violation, as it used to be.
It's odd how some things stay with you. The career I'd pursued in Skyrim had forced me to deal with my aversion to staying out after dark, and I was perfectly able to wander about city streets at night without any unwelcome memories rearing their heads. Yet still, the sight of the last of the day's sunlight on the roofs as the day faded to dusk made my heart beat quicker, my eyes dart from shadow to shadow in case one started moving and my ears prick for ghostly cries.
"Before... oh, is the guild about to close?"
I shook my head and let go of his upper arm in favour of reaching over to rub my own. I hardly even noticed the scars I'd gained from my first and only violation of Daggerfall curfew these days, but right now they felt like a brand. "Never mind."
Once we reached the guild, we found that most members had already gone home. The only person I saw downstairs was Teleportation Girl. She nodded at me, then her eyes widened when she saw Varvur.
For a moment, the only thought in my brain was Shor's blood, please don't let her get romance novel fantasies about Varvur too. "Have you seen Ajira?" I said hurriedly, hoping to sidetrack her.
"She's in the storeroom - something about Galbedir stealing her report." Teleportation Girl wrinkled her nose. "I really don't understand why those two can't just leave each other alone. But- hey, wait!"
"Thanks!" I tossed over my shoulder, making a beeline for the storeroom. Varvur trailed along behind me.
Indeed, the door to the storeroom was ajar. I stuck my head inside. "Ajira?"
The room was a tiny cramped thing piled high with sacks and barrels, the only light coming from a magelight on the wall near the entrance. Ajira was poking through items on a shelf, ears flat against her head. They perked up when she heard me.
"Friend Adryn? Friend Adryn! Where have you been?" Her voice took on a scolding note.
"Er... that's a long story. A really long story. A really, really long story. Can I maybe talk to you in pri-"
"Hey, Ajira, I think I found it!" A brown hand holding a scroll popped up from behind a bunch of sacks. It was quickly followed by a head, one belonging to someone I'd last seen telling stories about the Imperial Legion during tea break on Fredas. "Here, this says Report on the Mushrooms of the..."
Jamie trailed off, eyes narrowing and gaze caught by something behind me. Or... no. Someone.
I looked around with a sinking feeling. Yes, Varvur had come up behind me.
"Wait a moment. I was just reading the bounty notices from Ald'ruhn - you're that guy wanted alive under suspicion of murder." Jamie snapped her fingers. "Varvur Sarethi, that's it. What are you doing here?" Her hand went to her belt and scrabbled futilely there - apparently Jamie had decided she didn't need her sword to hunt rogue reports.
Varvur backed away a step, his hand going to Cloudcleaver. "Look, I can explain! I didn't- I don't remember- there were dreams-"
I could tell when Jamie spotted Cloudcleaver because she slid into a defensive stance, eyes growing cold. I fought the urge to bury my head in my hands. Instead, I shot Ajira a desperate look, trying to convey I swear there is a good explanation for this and I'd really appreciate it if both of you listened to me through my eyebrows alone.
Apparently something managed to get through, because Ajira nodded to me before turning to the other two.
"All right," she said briskly. "Ajira thinks this sounds like the sort of story best told at length, somewhere comfortable and private. Certainly not with weapons in hand, and certainly not shouted across the Mages' Guild storeroom."
Wonder of wonders, both Varvur and Jamie subsided under her disapproving look. I looked at her jealously - after the last two days I would happily give every last drake in my possession and more for a reliable way to make Varvur shut up.
"As it so happens," Ajira continued, "Ajira was going to go home for dinner once her report was found." She plucked the scroll out of Jamie's hands and gave it a glance, then tucked it protectively into her satchel. "She invites the others to come along and discuss this matter calmly, over comberry cakes and hackle-lo tea. Ajira's home is small but private. There is only one other there and Ajira does not think he will be a problem."
Ajira lived in a tiny apartment on the upper floor of a building just across the river, near the city wall. Judging from the dimensions of the thing, it couldn't be any bigger than the alchemy lab back in the guild. It certainly seemed lack of space had forced her to move her cooking and storage facilities to the roof just across from her door, considering the small firepit and the sacks and urns piled to one side - the latter glimmering with magicka that I suspected not only kept off the rain but also contained a surprise for any prospective thief.
"The honoured guests are welcome to enter." Ajira had unlocked the door to her home while I was looking around. "Ajira will join them in a moment - she just needs to fetch something."
Not far inside, I stopped.
I'd spent a large part of the walk here wondering about the mysterious he Ajira had mentioned. Had Teleportation Girl been right - did Ajira really have a boyfriend? If so, why hadn't she mentioned him? ...had I been infected by spending too much time with romance novel enthusiasts? Surely the more obvious answer was a friend she shared with to save money.
In all my speculations, I hadn't expected the small bundle of fur currently looking at me suspiciously.
"I'm Ma'Zajirr. Who are you?" he demanded.
"Er. Hello to you, too," I told the Khajiit kit, trying not to let my voice betray my shock. "We're friends of Ajira's."
Did Ajira have a son? No... she couldn't possibly be older than me, and my tentative guess was that Ma'Zajirr was around eight or nine. Even if I was a year or two off, the ages just didn't match up.
Ma'Zajirr looked at me with narrowed eyes, wooden sword held in a threatening position. "I don't know you. Does-"
"What is this Ajira hears?" Ajira appeared behind us, carrying a small bundle wrapped in oilcloth and exuding a most appetizing scent. My mouth watered as I remembered the promise of cake. "I, I, I, Ajira hears. You, you, you. Does Ma'Zajirr think he is a noble? A great hero? Vivec himself? Perhaps soon he will start calling himself Ra'Zajirr-Do. It would give Ajira something to laugh about, at least."
Ma'Zajirr wilted, ears drooping. "But Aunt Ajira, talking like that makes me sound stupid," he sulked.
"No, it makes Ma'Zajirr sound like a polite kit who has been brought up properly. Who has been saying such things to him?" Ajira demanded. "His friends at school? Men and mer - what would they know of what it means to be a Khajiit."
She turned to the three of us, who'd been staring at the exchange in bewilderment. "This is Ajira's nephew, Ma'Zajirr. Ajira apologises for his lack of manners. Ma'Zajirr, these are Adryn, Jamie and..." she trailed off with an inquiring glance at Varvur.
"Varvur Sarethi," Varvur introduced himself, a slow grin spreading over his features. "A pleasure to meet you, Ma'Zajirr."
Ajira gave the youngster a pointed look. "Ma'Zajirr is pleased to meet y- pleased to meet the honoured guests," he mumbled, scratching at the floor with his footclaws and determinedly not looking at any of us.
"I didn't know you had a nephew," I blurted, still rather dumbfounded by this turn of events but starting to feel bad about the times I'd monopolised Ajira's attention into the night.
"Ma'Zajirr is Ajira's sister's son," Ajira explained. "She is... no longer able to take care of him, so Ma'Zajirr lives with Ajira now."
Oh. No wonder he was staying with her. The fate of Ajira's sister, which I'd heard about only a few days ago, came back to me. I felt a sudden stab of sympathy for Ma'Zajirr who'd lost his mother in such a way and fought to squelch it. Sympathy may seem like a minor thing but it's a slippery slope from there to altruism, so it's really best not to even get started.
"He goes to school at the Imperial Cult in Fort Moonmoth and stays there during the week," Ajira was saying now. "So he is only in Balmora on weekends, or during school holidays such as this week."
"Stays there?" Jamie cut in. "Why? It's - what - half an hour's walk to Fort Moonmoth, surely he could travel there and back every day."
"See?" The way Ma'Zajirr leapt triumphantly on Jamie's statement made me feel this was a long-standing argument in the small family. "Aunt Ajira, everyone from Balmora goes home every day! Sodril's been saying I'm a coward-"
Ajira bristled in the way only Khajiit can. "Out of the question! It is far too dangerous."
Ma'Zajirr looked mutinous, but made no further reply. Jamie, clearly bewildered by Ajira's vehemence, opened her mouth - it seemed she was going to argue further. I took stock of my options and decided the best course of action available to me was jabbing Jamie in the side with my elbow.
"Hey!" Jamie looked at me angrily. Whatever she saw on my face made her shut up.
Ajira glared at the room for another moment, then slowly relaxed, her fur lying flat again. "Ma'Zajirr wished to play kickball tonight with his friend M'Aksayn, correct? Ajira has thought about it and decided that is all right with her. Here." Copper glinted only briefly before Ma'Zajirr made the coins in Ajira's outstretched paw vanish. "He can buy himself supper before they play."
"Great! Thanks, Aunt Ajira!" Then Ma'Zajirr paused as if arrested by a sudden thought. "But I- Ma'Zajirr thought Aunt Ajira didn't want him to stay out so long?"
"People are allowed to change their minds, are they not?"
But Ajira's attempts at deflection clearly weren't working. "Are you trying to keep something from me?" Ma'Zajirr's tone was affronted.
"Manners, Ma'Zajirr," Ajira scolded. "And... well, it does so happen that Ajira's friend Adryn has something very important to talk about, so Ajira was hoping to have a private, confidential discussion with her guests."
"I- Ma'Zajirr can keep secrets!"
"Ajira knows he can. But... it will require a great deal of talking, does he understand? Ajira expects a great many things must be explained and then discussed. Hours, it might be, sitting and talking."
Oh, that was crafty. Even with the little I'd seen of Ma'Zajirr, I felt quite confident in saying that sitting still was almost certainly not a strength of his. The slow horror dawning on his face only served to reinforce that assessment.
"There will be tea," Ajira continued ruthlessly. "Much tea. As otherwise our throats will get dry from all the talking we will do. Ajira thought that Ma'Zajirr would rather run around and kick balls around with his friends than sit and listen for all that time, and so out of the goodness of her heart she decided to relax his curfew tonight so he could go to the game. But if he truly wishes to remain, Ajira supposes-"
I wasn't quite clear how Ma'Zajirr had made it to the doorway, but suddenly he was standing outside. "That's - that's perfectly all right, Aunt Ajira! Thank you! I'll be going now!" A long pause. "You're probably only going to talk about really boring things, anyway." And then he'd disappeared.
"Right," Ajira said after a moment. "He will be gone a while. In fact, Ajira may have to go out and find him in a few hours, as it is quite possible he will interpret relaxed curfew as no curfew. But that is for later. Now, Ajira believes friend Adryn had a long story to tell?"
It really did end up being quite a long story, especially once Varvur started deciding (based on no evidence at all) that we were interested in his version of events. It was so incredibly biased and dimwitted that I had to wonder if he'd sleepwalked through the past three days - I could hardly be blamed if I found myself forced to set the record straight.
"Would the two of you stop arguing?" Jamie groaned.
At any rate, by the time I'd finished we'd finished not only the promised comberry cakes - easily as as delicious as they'd smelled - and an entire pot of hackle-lo tea but also half a pot of guar and ash yam soup, leftovers from the night before according to Ajira. I wasn't entirely certain how much she and Jamie had understood of my story what with all the inaccuracies Varvur had introduced, but at least Jamie no longer looked like she was planning to drag him to the guards.
"Right." Jamie pinched the bridge of her nose. "I suppose I really can't take you to the guards."
It's always nice to have that sort of thing confirmed.
"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't." Varvur was definitely being more polite to Jamie than he'd ever been to me, I noticed. It made me feel rather indignant; I'd have to come up with a suitable revenge when I had some spare time.
"It certainly sounds as though you've been treated unjustly," Jamie continued, distracting me from the thoughts of what, exactly, one could slip into Varvur's hackle-lo tea for minimum harm and maximum humiliation (certainly not an intelligence-draining potion - no one would ever notice the difference). "I'm not entirely sure I believe your story, but given what Adryn has said it seems plausible enough… and it's clear local law enforcement won't be investigating this anytime soon. Again."
She heaved a heavy sigh, then turned to me. "So. What's the plan?"
"Plan?" I asked.
"Plan for what to do next."
I knew I'd forgotten something.
Jamie pinched the bridge of her nose. I guessed she'd correctly interpreted the blank look on my face. "Right, in that case I'll see if I can think of something. It seems our best bet is to find proof that Varvur was controlled by magic and not responsible for his actions in order to clear his name. And - with all due respect, Adryn - I think I might have the most experience with this sort of investigation."
"Wait a minute, you have experience with-"
"Solving the murder in Gnisis, remember?" Jamie pointed out. "I had to do some digging there."
That was a good point.
"Anyway, I'd like to ask you some questions, Varvur. The first sign of something wrong was nightmares, right?"
"Yes," Varvur answered, once again far more obediently than he'd ever responded to me. I bristled. "They started a few weeks before the- before."
"Was there anything that changed in your life just before then? Anything unusual that happened, perhaps?"
I had to admire Jamie's cool approach and the surprisingly intelligent questions she was asking. She sounded almost like Mistress Mauripelle in Acatta Caristia's novels (also childhood favourites of mine, particularly her A Summerset Mystery).
"Just before the dreams started- actually, now that you mention it..."
Varvur frowned as though thinking hard - a task undoubtedly made difficult through lack of both talent and practice. "I got this statue from a friend of mine... well, more an acquaintance really. I drink with him sometimes in the Rat in the Pot, that's a tavern in Ald'ruhn."
It seemed Varvur had the mind (or, more accurately, lack thereof) of a Nord - one drink and someone was his friend for life. I considered telling him that, then decided to leave it for when we weren't trying to get information from him and I could properly enjoy the ensuing eruption.
"A friend?" Jamie probed.
"He's a pawnbroker, always has a lot of cheap wares he's trying to get rid of quickly," Varvur waved a hand. "I buy things off him sometimes, since he needs the business and it's not like the money is a worry for me."
I bit down several of the things that immediately came to mind following that comment, proving, I believe, that I do very much have the ability to control myself in the face of provocation and all statements to the contrary are perfidious lies. Then another thought reared its head.
"In a tavern? He doesn't have a shop or anything?" I asked.
"No - he says he can't afford the taxes. Why?" Varvur was looking puzzled.
I considered enlightening him that his friend was probably a fence and Varvur had bought stolen goods off him, but decided that, much like telling him his lack of brains meant he'd make an excellent Nord, the resulting explosion would just end up distracting us both. Besides, Jamie was glaring at me. I put it on the long, long list of things Varvur did not need to know and waved the question off.
"The statue?" Jamie resumed her role as chief interrogator.
"Right - he said... actually, now that I think about it," Varvur sounded surprised, "he said that if I put it next to my bed while I slept it would give me good dreams. I didn't think it would!" he protested when I shot him a how naive can you even be look. "It's just, it was cheap and he needed the money and I thought, what harm could it possibly do... anyway, the nightmares started that night."
"Are you kidding me?" I asked, incredulous. "Someone sells you a statue that's meant to give you good dreams, you start having horrible nightmares, and you don't think hey, maybe something isn't right about that thing? You don't even put it away? How on earth did you even survive to adulthood?"
Varvur glared at me. "Will you shut up? The reason I didn't put it away was..." He blinked. "Was..."
"What's that? You have no explanation beyond 'I'm sorry, Adryn, I'm too stupid to live? What a surprise.'"
"No." Varvur didn't react at all to my jibe, didn't even look at me. I shivered. That was positively unnatural. "I, I think I forgot about it completely. I don't think I thought about it even once until just now, and it was right next to my bed the entire time."
"And I take it you don't usually experience amnesia about your belongings? I mean, it would never happen to me but given your limited intelligence, I don't want to jump to conclusions-" I stopped when Varvur glared at me and hid a smile. Varvur was getting angry with me, all was right in the world again.
"Ahem." Jamie cleared her throat. I shot her a guilty look.
"We've identified both a possible method and a possible culprit. It seems like the best thing to do at this juncture would be to investigate this Galtis Guvron, which..." Jamie's shoulders slumped, "would be much, much easier if any of us had any sort of official standing with law enforcement. This is almost making me wish I stayed with the Legion."
I shuddered at the idea of Jamie reconsidering her association with the Legion, a truly horrifying thought we had to distract her from at once. I cast around desperately for inspiration on the matter.
It obliged.
"Actually," I said, "I might have an idea..."
Chapter 10: Chapter Ten
Notes:
This chapter comes with a WARNING for... let's just say the Sixth House.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"The city is looking good," Sul said.
I followed his gaze as we walked.
Kogoruhn was bustling. The great doors that led to the inner keep were propped open, letting a steady stream of people travel through. Below the walls, a settlement had sprung up, a small city of tents and yurts and even the occasional small shell-house. Those last must have been brought here by strider, for those who wanted a slightly more permanent residence and yet couldn't face the dark, winding corridors and claustrophobic rooms in the depths of the fortress proper.
I couldn't blame them.
"You don't approve?" Sul, my oldest friend and shield-brother, must have read my thoughts off my face.
I shrugged. "It's hardly my place to approve or disapprove of what clan Dagoth does. And Voryn knows what he's doing, in any case."
"That's not an answer, you know." Sul was looking at me steadily. Well, I supposed he deserved better than the sort of non-answer I'd give a Councillor.
"Every time I come back here, I wonder if I'm going to find Kogoruhn has been mysteriously transformed into a Dwemer citadel," I admitted. "I'm beginning to feel I should be inspecting the walls for incursions of metal or an infection of clanking."
Sul stopped. "That's a surprise, coming from the driving force behind our alliance with the Dwemer. I know how much time you spend with Dumac, I'd have thought you-"
"I like them, yes," I interrupted. "More importantly, I think we're stronger together than apart - that fighting each other is pointless and just opens us up to another invasion. The Nords haven't given up on regaining Resdayn." I could feel the truth of that echoing in my bones. "But that doesn't mean we have to become them."
Sul was right: I did spend much time among the Dwemer. Sometimes it was for diplomacy, renewing our alliance, smoothing over conflict and strife. Sometimes it was for knowledge, some of the Dwemer's theories tying neatly into my own interests. Often, of course, for friendship, with Dumac so rarely able to travel these days and me unwilling to resign myself to our only correspondence being through letters. I almost felt as if I spent half my time wandering their underground halls these days...
...none of which meant I belonged there.
"You almost sound like an Urshilaku or Zainsubani sometimes, you know," said Sul. "Warning us of the evils of the settled lifestyle."
"Well, maybe they have a point! I'm not saying I agree with everything they say, but this-" I cast my hands out, indicating Kogoruhn, "nobody dreamed of such settlements before we allied with the Dwemer. And now there are at least five other such citadels being built. Everything is changing so rapidly and I don't believe we've properly considered what such changes might entail-"
Sul held up his hands. "Save it for the council later this afternoon, will you?"
I stopped, rueful. Long years of friendship meant both of us could tell when a friendly argument began to get too serious, when our opinions were too different to be bridged in casual conversation, but I still sometimes got carried away.
"Sorry," I apologised. "It's a subject I feel strongly about."
"I noticed." Sul's voice was dry. "I still don't agree, but we can discuss it properly later. For now, I want to greet Voryn. Are you coming?"
I looked at the dark entrance to Kogoruhn, thought of the cramped, dim corridors to Voryn's chambers, and shuddered at the idea of inflicting them on me any earlier than I had to.
"No. I'll make sure to meet him and pay my respects before the start of council, but I want to investigate a little first."
"Investigate?"
"As you so enjoy reminding me, Sul, I have very strong opinions on the move to citadels for someone who's barely spent time around one. I want to look into how the people who have come here live." I gestured at the settlement around us.
"Gathering ammunition to support your pet arguments, you mean. Well. I'll give Voryn your apologies."
Sul turned away towards the entrance to the citadel. I turned in the opposite direction, letting my feet take me through the maze of tents, yurts and shell-houses that had sprung up around Kogoruhn.
This, too, was far more crowded than anything I'd grown up with, a tightly-packed mess of residences, stalls, eateries, smithies, merchants, and any other shop one might imagine. Far more diverse, as well. The main part of the crowd were Chimer, but there were scattered Dwemer, and even a group of Nedic men I suspected to be Alessians. It might be unfair, but given our history with the Nords I couldn't summon much trust for their kin. I eyed the men warily as I passed; they kindly refrained from answering my suspicion by attacking me or announcing their intention to subjugate Resdayn.
Even among the Chimer, I saw a far greater variety than I once did. Here Aran, Kaushtarari and Verelnim brushed shoulders, their clan-markings far subtler than I'd expect and often sharing space with those of clan Dagoth. In lesser numbers, I saw other combinations – Seloth and Telvanni, Omayn and Redoran, Ihinipalit and Redoran, Dunsamsi and Hlaalu... Sotha and my own Indoril.
All buying into this business about Great Houses, then. True, clans had always been made up of more than just the core family – Sul never failed to remind me of his own Alandro if I skipped over this detail, part of Indoril since long before either of us were born – but of late it was on a whole new level. I had as many misgivings about this development as about the movement towards life settled in one place rather than wandering the land.
These misgivings were, I suspected, shared by the few among the crowd making it clear they declared no such allegiance to one of the new "Houses". Those Zainsubani and Urshilaku I saw wore their clan's symbols so clearly and blatantly it was almost ostentatious, with not a scrap of cloth signifying any other.
I'd slowed near an eatery where the smells drifting from it made my mouth water, wondering whether I should stop to fill my belly with food and ears with gossip before the meeting, when I felt a tug at my purse.
My hand snapped out, capturing the miscreant's wrist. "You-"
"Let me go!"
My severe reprimand died on my lips as I turned to see, not the criminal I'd expected, but a skinny boy who couldn't be more than nine years old.
"Let me go, I didn't do anything!" he repeated, tugging at the wrist I still held fast.
I frowned.
I had never had any sympathy for thieves. In the world I'd grown up in, all was shared out according to need, no clan member abandoned. Stealing broke that accord, the thieves enriching themselves at the expense of their clanmates, deciding their wants were more important than the needs of the clan's children, of the hunters, the Wise Woman. Such selfishness and dishonesty could not be tolerated and was rightly punished with exile.
Once again, I was reminded this was not the world I'd grown up in. Judging by his skinny frame, this boy was certainly not being taken care of by his clan.
"What's your name?" I asked him.
"What's it to you?" the boy demanded, but after a moment of my silence – and another fruitless attempt to free himself from my grasp – he gave in. "Vivec, I'm called."
No clan name? My frown deepened.
Abandoned children were not unknown even in my childhood. However, when Indoril ran across one, we either took them in or – if times were too lean for another mouth – gave them the mercy of a quick death. How was it that this child had been left clanless, left – clearly – to scrape and scavenge and steal in order to make a living, in the middle of the abundance I saw around me?
"I didn't do nothing to you and you've got no call to be keeping me-"
"Hey! Nerevar!"
(-distant surprise, something unexpected, jarring. For a moment the scene dims, wavers, like a dream on the edge of waking-
The moment passes.)
I turned my head. Mannanalit Yan-Ilu was standing in the entrance to the eatery, hand on her dagger.
My captive stopped struggling in my grasp.
"What's going on over there?"
"I seem to have caught myself a pickpocket," I called back to my old friend.
"That scrap?" Her eyes swept over Vivec. She frowned, apparently not liking the results of her inspection. "Hey, kid-"
"Nerevar?" burst from the kid in question. "You mean- you don't mean Indoril Nerevar?"
"That's right, kid," Yan-Ilu answered before I could. "You just tried to steal from the Hortator himself, the greatest hero of our people."
"Stop it," I said with some asperity. It was bad enough being faced with hero-worship from children like Vivec, I didn't need it from Yan-Ilu, especially considering- "You were right there with me through half of it, you should know better than to be impressed by wild tales."
"Who said anything about wild tales?" Yan-Ilu shot back. Then she relented. "Ah, whatever. Don't look so shocked, kid. He's a soft touch, really. For example, kid or no kid – if you'd tried to steal my purse, you'd be shorter a hand by now. Nerevar here, on the other hand, is – if I don't miss my guess – thinking of buying you lunch."
I shot Yan-Ilu a look. "Is that so wrong? As you so kindly reminded me, I've been named protector of our people. All our people. In a case like this, it's my duty to step in."
"And that's why you're a hero, you idiot." Yan-Ilu sighed and shook her head. "Apparently it's catching, too. I can afford two freeloaders – lunch is on me today. What do you want, kid? Your options at the Alit's Maw today are ash yam and guar stew or roast nix-hound haunch, with sujam-" Yan-Ilu looked Vivec up and down and clearly thought the better of what she'd been about to say, "-wick water or comberry juice. The stew turned out quite nicely, if I do say so myself."
I blinked. I hadn't realised Yan-Ilu had abandoned the netch herds her husband had left her to open an eatery in Kogoruhn. But now that I looked, I saw it – the scarab of Dagoth sewn on her breast, embroidered larger than the fishing-spear of Mannanalit.
My old friend who'd fought side-by-side with me was among the many who were giving up their old lifestyle to move to the citadels... giving up their independence to declare allegiance to a larger clan. I wished I could ask her about it, why she'd made such a choice, but right now was definitely not the time.
"...stew? You catch- claim I'm stealing, and you give me food?" Young Vivec sounded deeply suspicious, and I felt my anger rise at whatever had taught the boy distrust at such an age.
Losing my temper wouldn't help in this situation, I reminded myself firmly. It'd only serve to frighten the boy off, when we'd only just reached the point where I felt I could let go of his wrist without fear that he'd bolt. No, this was a time to be the calm, reasonable Hortator. It wasn't a role that came easily to me, but I'd spent a lot of time practicing recently.
...although if I ever met the clan who'd abandoned Vivec so cruelly, I doubted "calm" or "reasonable" would be on the horizon.
"You hard of hearing, kid? Got hit on the head too many times?" I knew Yan-Ilu well enough to know the suspicion in Vivec's voice must be hitting her as hard as me, but her voice was as cheerful as ever. Well, she'd always been a better actor than me. (This was admittedly not very difficult, at least according to Sul, who'd claimed since we were children that those who were better actors than me included the vast majority of both Chimer and Dwemer populations, most northmen, a significant portion of local wildlife and the odd rock.)
"No!" Vivec protested. "I just-"
"You look like you're worried I've poisoned the stew. Let me tell you, kid," Yan-Ilu propped her hands on her hips, "if I wanted to get rid of a scrap like you, I wouldn't go to near that much effort. And I'm insulted that you could think I'd use poison. Stab you in the back, sure, or use magic, but poison? I have a reputation as a cook to defend, you know!"
A smile flickered across Vivec's face. For a brief moment, he looked as innocent and care-free as any of my young cousins in Indoril.
"But if you're really worried, I'm sure Nerevar would be willing to taste-test."
"Absolutely," I said. "The stew sounds excellent, my friend. I'll have that and a wick water. Vivec?"
It took a little more coaxing, but eventually we had Vivec seated at one of the tables outside the eatery, a large bowl of stew in front of him which he devoured industriously. I sat back, sipping my wick water, and watched Yan-Ilu engage him. The boy looked as if he'd momentarily forgotten the idea of getting up and fleeing, which was a definite improvement. Probably best I keep out of it – my friend seemed to have things well in hand, and the odd awed glance Vivec shot me made it clear he hadn't got past Indoril Nerevar, Hortator of the Council, the hero who drove the Nords from Resdayn yet.
One thing was for sure: I'd certainly found some "ammunition for my pet cause", as Sul had put it, on this trip. I planned on informing the council of the details. At length.
The Breton woman's blue robes were dusty and spotted with inkstains. Her hair was coming loose from its braid and falling into her face, while smudges of ink on her cheeks showed previous, ineffectual attempts to keep it out of the way. In short, she was the classic image of an absent-minded scholar to such a degree where I briefly wondered whether she was faking it.
"Excuse me, are you Edwinna Elbert?" I asked, then winced guiltily as the woman started upright. Apparently she'd been so absorbed in her perusal of - I craned my head - Fire and Faith by someone called Nchunak that she hadn't heard my approach.
"Yes, that's me. And who would you be?"
"I'm Adryn," I introduced myself. "I joined the guild at Balmora last week," Nine, had it really been less than a week? "I'm an alchemist."
"Ah! So you're working with Ajira, then." Edwinna gave me what I suspected was, for her, a look that was unusually focused for being directed at a person rather than a book. Ajira really seemed to have a lot of people looking out for her. I didn't begrudge her, I just really hoped this conversation wouldn't go the same way as the last. "I haven't had the time to visit Balmora in absolute ages. Tell me, how is she doing?"
I pondered the honest answer of Perfectly fine, except for the wanted fugitive hiding out at her place playing cards with her eight-year-old nephew and the fact that I think he's trying to infect the boy with his lichen-brained notions of 'honour', then discarded it. "She's doing well. Making good progress on her research - she finished one report on alchemical properties of the mushrooms of the Bitter Coast just a few days ago and is working on another about the flora of the Ascadian Isles."
Since my plan, such as it was, could only be put into motion during the afternoon, we'd had some time to catch up and experiment with the flowers Ervesa had sent me that morning. We'd been quite successful on both fronts - I'd found myself reassured that Varvur staying at Ajira's, an idea we'd hit upon late enough last night I hadn't had the energy to argue it, seemed to be working out better than I'd feared, and Ajira had been busy writing up our results when I'd left.
"Excellent!" Edwinna's smile lit up her face. "I'm glad to hear she's well. I'd have liked to train her myself, but she didn't want to move to Ald'ruhn and I don't work in alchemy at all." I tucked that piece of information away. "Now, why were you looking for me?"
"I have a delivery for you. From Jobasha - here."
The instant the oilcloth-wrapped bundle was in her hands, I felt myself relax as though a huge weight had fallen from my shoulders. Considering events it was hardly a surprise that I'd been more focused on other things over the last few days, but all the same I hadn't realised how much the book Jobasha had given me to deliver - and its accompanying threat - had been dragging at me. There, I told an imaginary Jobasha silently, see? Tirdas, just as promised, when professional couriers would break down in tears at the obstacles I encountered on the way. Imaginary Jobasha nodded gravely, I hoped in approval.
Edwinna's eyes lit up when she unwrapped the book. "Chronicles of Nchuleft! I've been looking for that for months! Jobasha is truly a pearl among booksellers. Here, for your trouble." She pressed a ten-drake coin into my hand. "Was there anything else?"
Technically, there was - Trebonius' idea of a suitable task for a junior member, and Malven's resulting order that I attach myself to Edwinna as a Dwemer scholar. However, judging by the way Edwinna was regarding her new acquisition (in much the way I might regard a new kind of flower, or a prisoner in Imperial City food that was actually fit for consumption) this was probably not the best of times. It's really better to ask people things like that when they aren't clearly trying to develop telepathic abilities in order to force you to go away.
And, of course, I had other things to do in Ald'ruhn.
"No, that's all."
Edwinna nodded absently, eyes focused on her new book, as I made myself scarce.
The buildings of Ald'ruhn were even more striking up close, and I found myself glad that Varvur wasn't with me because I would have been hard-put to affect nonchalance. Shell-houses loomed all around me, dominated by the giant emperor of a crab I'd spotted the day before. Up close it was even more eye-wideningly large, looking big enough to encompass the entirety of Seyda Neen with room to spare.
"It's Skar, outlander," a passing Dunmer said. She must have noticed me staring. "It's even larger inside - most of it is buried. Impressive, no?" She sounded proud.
"I'll say." My hand went to the scarf wrapped around my head to make sure it was secure.
When I'd mentioned being worried that Venim might be watching for me, Varvur had informed me (with what I felt was more relish than strictly necessary) that among Dunmer, my appearance was really quite nondescript apart from my hair. He'd suggested this method of disguising it, claiming it was a common fashion in Ald'ruhn. I'd been dubious - in my experience, nobility are frequently somewhat, shall we say, out of touch when it comes to normal people - but the woman who'd spoken to me was similarly attired, as were enough people around us to show that Varvur had been right. I immediately resolved never to let him know.
At any rate, once I'd managed to stop gawking at Ald'ruhn I realised that my goal was almost next door to the Mages' Guild. Luckily so, because I'd noticed dark grey clouds gathering above the city. They didn't look quite like rain-clouds, but their size and colour - along with the wary looks other passersby shot at them - made me want to hurry all the same.
Once inside the Rat in the Pot, I shook the ash that had gathered even over such a short distance from my shoes. The traces of more ash in the entranceway along with neat piles of the stuff to the side showed that my current activity was one that occurred frequently in this area, but that someone armed with a broom had declared war against its effects.
Further inside, the Rat in the Pot was surprisingly comfortable, especially for being in a place that us small fleshy creatures would once only have encountered during dinner - as in, during a giant crab making us into its dinner. A central stalk that descended from the ceiling had been turned into a hearth in which a fire crackled merrily. Carpets lay over the floor, making it far easier to ignore exactly what you were walking on, and there were stairs and tables scattered about, as well as a bar with barstools against the opposite wall. I made my way towards it.
Despite the early hour, I noticed, there were a surprising number of customers. A whole group at that nearby table, involved in conversation-
"-see, I told you it'd be easy!"
...why was that voice familiar?
With a sinking heart, I identified the speaker as Allding, holding forth to an Argonian and an Orc. The Orc was smaller than most of his kind and clad in simple dark clothing, as was the Argonian, as were... suspiciously many people in this building, as a matter of fact, especially considering they were exactly the sort of thing I'd use as 'working clothes': mottled dark greys that blended into the shadows, soft and fitted to minimize unfortunate rustle...
Oh, Alduin devour it all.
Had I actually just wandered into another Thieves' Guild headquarters? What had I done in a previous life to deserve for this to keep happening to me?
While I was trying to force my frozen legs to move, Allding's eyes flicked over to me... and past, with no sign of recognition.
I relaxed.
Nondescript, was it? I could work with that.
"Are you planning to order anything?"
I blinked, torn out of my thoughts by the frowning publican, and said the first thing that came to mind. "A wick water, please."
Wick water? Where had that come from?
But the woman was nodding and reaching behind the bar. I shrugged - I must have heard it somewhere, maybe in the Eight Plates that first night. It's amazing what bubbles up from the depths of your mind when you're under stress.
Wick water turned out to be something similar to the roasted barley tea I was familiar with from Skyrim, only made from a grain I didn't recognise, served cold instead of hot and sweetened with something I took a moment to recognise as scrib jelly. All in all, I decided my subconscious had chosen well.
The plan – which probably didn't deserve the name, but had at least been enough to stop Jamie's talk about returning to the Legion – was for me to settle down with a book and wait for Galtis Guvron to show; Varvur had assured me he always turned up during the course of the afternoon. I stuck with it, but my fingers trembled on the pages and I kept my head firmly averted from Allding. Luckily, he didn't seem inclined to pay me much attention, instead holding court among what must be his guildmates.
"-blundered into my operation." he was saying right now. "And then insisted on coming along – as if it's a sight-seeing trip!"
Wait a minute. This was sounding horribly familiar... except that if he was really referring to what I thought he was, this was a distorted version of events to say the least.
"Nine preserve us from amateurs," the Orc said. "Did you at least get a good haul?"
Allbraggart shook his head. "Sadly, no. That – girl – was so incompetent she alerted not only the guards, but Venim himself! It was only due to quick thinking and skill that I managed to get away."
I reminded myself firmly that walking over there and telling Allliar exactly what I thought of him would not be keeping a low profile, and was therefore highly inadvisable.
Really.
"Probably someone who couldn't cut it in the guild proper," said a nearby Altmer. "And thinks butting into the business of real thieves and trying to show off will get her an in."
Allhotair nodded, stroking the pathetic tufts on his chin that did not qualify as a beard. If only I could go over there and tell him that it made him look like an idiot, but that that was all to the good since "an idiot" was in fact the sum total of what he was, the underlying truth of his existence reflected in every single thing he thought and did. It was only fair to warn those unfortunate enough to find themselves in his vicinity about this fact-
Keep control of yourself, Adryn.
I gritted my teeth and took out the two Dwemer texts I'd purchased at Jobasha's. Keep a low profile. Do not draw attention to yourself in the middle of the local thieves' guildhall by, for instance, wandering over to a certain Nord-shaped mass of stupidity's table and yelling at him at length. You are a simple scholar, here only to wet her throat and get out of the Mages Guild for a bit. You had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with certain events at Bolvyn Venim's manor two days ago.
The first book, Antecedents of Dwemer Law, proved rather a rather dry discourse on similarities between the Dwemer and Altmer legal systems. Ordinarily I'd have tried to slog through it, but given the level of... distractions and temptations... in my surroundings, I figured that might prove a bad idea. Luckily, Ruins of Kemel-Ze not only proved far more engaging, its very bigoted author also gave me a safe target for my rage. I was firmly engrossed and muttering imprecations against Nordssen's attitude towards Dunmer when the publican's voice broke my concentration.
"Ah, Galtis! Good to see you, how's business?"
I glanced up from my book just in time to see a somewhat plump Dunmer with thinning black hair make a beeline for the bar.
Wait, was he-
I kept my eyes firmly fixed on my book, barely able to believe my luck, as he sat down some two barstools away.
"Excellent, my dear Lirielle! The wares my new partner's been supplying me with sell like scrib pies at New Year's."
My ears perked as Guvron shucked his cloak and set his pack on the stool between us.
"I'm glad to know someone's doing well, at least." The publican - Lirielle, I supposed - sounded a little disgruntled. "I don't suppose you'd let me in on your secret? You're very mysterious about these new wares of yours, and I've got Hard-Heart's boot-lickers circling like vultures."
"Ah, my partner's very... particular. I don't think you'd like her. And I don't think our wares would suit you, either. I've got something right here which I think would suit you much better, mind..."
Guvron opened up his pack and withdrew an amulet, which he presented to Lirielle. He left the pack open.
All right, fate was clearly trying to make up for some of the things it had been heaping on me lately.
"Trying to woo me while my brother's not here, is that it?" Well, both Lirielle and Guvron seemed distracted. I turned my head slightly to see what he had with him.
I couldn't see anything like the statue Varvur had described. Mostly his pack seemed to contain cheap jewellery - similar to the amulet Guvron was trying to clasp around Lirielle's neck while she, laughing, fended him off - along with what looked like several folded linen shirts. There were also a few slim books, with some loose parchment protruding from between the pages of one of them. A letter, maybe? I could see a few lines of handwriting. I chanced a closer look-
If that wasn't in code, I'd eat my headscarf.
(Which was something I'd really prefer to avoid, given that it was probably the only thing keeping me safely unrecognised right now.)
"Eh? What's this?"
I quickly looked up, afraid Lirielle had caught me being nosy. My luck was in, however – Lirielle's eyes weren't on me, but on a Redguard woman approaching the bar.
A very familiar Redguard woman.
What in Kynareth's name was Jamie doing here? I thought I'd been explicitly clear that I did not need any help here, that in fact other people would most likely only get in the way. I'd taken Jamie for reasonably intelligent – surprisingly so, in fact, given her profession – and even Varvur had claimed to understand the idea after I'd been through with it yesterday.
"Lirielle Stoine?" Jamie asked. She was ignoring me entirely, I noticed with grudging approval.
"That's my name, yes." Lirielle sounded wary. The friendly woman who'd served me my wick water and had been joking with Guvron had vanished, leaving a stone-faced stranger.
"Lobrumol gro-Aglakh sent me, from the Fighter's Guild. It's about a debt-"
"What. Did you. Say?"
The growl sounded like it should come from a bear, not a small Breton woman. Around us, conversation ground to a halt. I was impressed despite myself when Jamie didn't step back.
"A debt," she repeated, frowning. "He says the deadline for payment is overdue. I might be able to talk him into an extension, but you'd need to make an initial payment-"
"Make an initial payment?" Lirielle's voice rose. "As if I'd give a shaved copper to that s'wit! It's not even my debt and now his lackeys are coming after me-"
Tearing myself away from the unfolding drama, I let an unobtrusive glance drift around the tavern. Every eye was fixed on Jamie and Lirielle. This included Guvron next to me, who was watching the scene with a dark scowl. He looked as though he was tempted to jump in and start defending Lirielle with his fists; I reminded myself firmly that Jamie could take care of herself.
My gaze was drawn back to the letter in Guvron's pack. I found myself torn. The plan had been for me to use certain of my... less than legitimately acquired skills to spy on Guvron, both by eavesdropping and by following him inconspicuously if I didn't find out anything interesting. This would be something of a departure-
But Guvron didn't seem as if he'd let anything more slip to Lirielle, and what were the chances that letter didn't have something to do with Varvur's situation? Why else would a poor pawnbroker who made his living off cheap rings and amulets be receiving encrypted messages?
Besides, that pack, so wonderfully positioned, with the witnesses so beautifully distracted... it was calling to me. Everything had transpired so perfectly, it was as though the universe was begging me to take it off its hands. Who was I to turn down the universe?
When I started packing up, Lirielle shot me a brief glance. I murmured a thank-you, making sure to keep my movements smooth and unhurried and Ruins of Kemel-Ze covering the book - with its suspicious letter - I'd plucked from Guvron's pack. She gave me a distracted nod, then turned back to Jamie.
"You cursed Camonna Tong thugs drove him to-"
By the time I had all my things together and was getting up to leave, she and Jamie had become sufficiently loud and attention-grabbing that I suspected I'd be able to just grab Guvron's pack in full view of everyone with no effort to hide what I was doing and still get away with it. (Not, I told myself sternly, that that was a good idea.) In fact, several of the other patrons were getting up and moving in their direction. One of them was Allding.
I stared at the Nord "thief", remembered the way the events at Venim manor had actually gone in full, agonising detail, and gave in to impulse.
Allbraggart scowled at me when I bumped into him. I mumbled a low apology, making sure to keep my head and face turned away and to keep walking - the very image of a mer in a hurry. After a moment, I heard Allunobservant mutter a curse about people who didn't watch where they were going, followed by his receding footsteps.
Outside, I patted the hard lump under my robes. Forty septims for a glass dagger, hadn't Fasile said? If I could find somewhere to fence it, that would mean no worries about money for a long, long time. I figured it was fair enough revenge for the trouble Allding had caused me.
Besides, I thought virtuously, maybe depriving him of the weapon would teach him not to wave it at innocent passersby. I really had no idea why the Mastermind hadn't tossed him out yet. Or maybe the entire Morrowind guild didn't know how a proper thief behaved.
Back in the Mages' Guild, I found a desk in a quiet corner and looked over my new acquisitions. The book had Poison Song written on the cover - a glance inside showed that it seemed to be the first in a series of novels of some sort. Not particularly relevant, was my guess, although I wasn't going to turn down free bedtime reading.
The letter was an entirely different matter.
ZHPLTWMIWVAMCEKMOSMRLCDYIXLERVXYAAELXWIJWROXZBZAAWPRDXIQIXYKTMXWCEPAZVJIWLSLQYEA
IHDRKDEYTHHYXMYMXNXFDAFIKHTILSMRVXFDOVHGOLVKLVIILZOHOEVUFXSVMRVXYASYRAGASUFWXDHP
DENSWLUSLDIIBMEPEBIKMLHAYEWZMECQEIKMPSFDMAXPCXEKASRVRGFVPDVUOBEWAGLWKFRXXPEAXDQA
WKEKVIIETCWCSRYLAELFIWPVFQNNEDWYYZYERSTCWCOXZXTUMTGOACRJDGMKXSCJPQIBFVNTYOWXWEDZ
ATGSWELOXZBZXAXIECHDWKOWMKLXZPCGPREKTLILKHGWOFEROKKYYYKAVYDOEPAICOEPEAEKSFZXPTXP
KUBWWEMFWNETIYIADKPAOLHGYSXSMJWPZSAGAQWLKEXRUASDVGRALADRSIIYWNKVSB
It seemed I wouldn't have to eat my headscarf after all. Probably for the best - cloth doesn't agree with my stomach.
"Let's see what you're hiding, hmm?"
I was well into my work by the time Jamie tapped me on the shoulder. I glared at her for making me jerk and leave an ink-splotch on my current sheet of scrap parchment, then remembered I should be glaring at her for something else.
"What was all that about? Showing up in there like that? I thought we agreed you'd let me handle this!" I hissed.
Jamie raised an eyebrow. "Calm down, will you? I was letting you handle it - I thought I'd ask in the Fighters Guild for another job while I was waiting. And it so happened that job was to ask Lirielle Stoine, owner of the Rat in the Pot, for some money she owed. Perfect opportunity to check on how you were doing without looking suspicious, I thought, and maybe you'd be able to use the distraction." She scowled. "Turned out to be more of one than I'd like. Lirielle got really upset, said her brother owed the money and people from the guild put so much pressure on him he went to see if he could make it hunting bandits in a cave - with no real training, mind. She hasn't heard from him since, says she's getting really worried. I'm starting to think the Fighter's Guild is as corrupt as the Legion."
Something about that tugged at my memory. Thought the point of an Imperial guild was supposed to be that it wasn't a crime syndicate... who had said that?
"Helviane Desele!"
"Huh?" Jamie stared at me.
"Oh, right, sorry- Helviane Desele, in Suran, I remember her saying something about the Fighter's Guild running protection rackets."
"Great. Just great." Jamie buried her head in her hands. "I swear, trying to collect mushrooms for Ajira is the most honest job I've been asked to do since I arrived on this benighted island. If only I didn't need the money-" She straightened. "Well, enough of that. What did you find out?"
"Guvron had a letter in his bag, tucked into this book." I hefted Poison Song.
Jamie frowned. For a moment I thought she was going to object to my methods, but in the end she remained silent. Stendarr be praised - I didn't think I could deal with two Varvurs. One was more than bad enough already.
She frowned even more when she looked over the letter. "Encrypted? Curse it. Maybe if we take it to the guard or something, tell them we think it contains important information, they might be able to..."
I gave her a puzzled look. "Take it to the guard, whatever for? I'm making progress, I swear. See," I explained, "it's definitely not a simple substitution, not even scrambled - after my first guesses only gave gibberish I counted the frequency of the different letters and they're far too evenly distributed for that. However, I think it might be polyalphabetic, maybe Vigenerus? That one's always popular. If so, I need to figure out the keyword - but there's a few repeated groups of letters, so I can guess at the length using common divisors-"
"If I admit that you seem to know what you're doing, will you please start speaking Tamrielic again?"
Of course, I'd forgotten that this wasn't exactly a common skill.
But code-breaking can be quite a handy talent for a thief. Intercepted messages can give the location of lucrative goods or the details of their protection, and decoded stolen documents can be sensitive enough that the owner is willing to pay a high price to get them back (mind you, this should be done as a one-time deal - blackmail is really something to avoid unless absolutely necessary). And if the sensitive information you find is sufficiently disgusting, no guard commander has ever refused an anonymous tip... especially not one accompanied by solid proof.
Never say the Thieves' Guild does nothing for you.
"Sorry," I apologised. "What I mean is - I think I can crack this, although it might take me a while. I'll probably take it back to Balmora with me and work on it there."
"Good, good." Jamie hesitated. "Say, Adryn... do you think you'll be all right on your own for a day or two?"
"Wait, you're leaving?" I was sure that yesterday evening Jamie had said she didn't have anything else she was working on right now.
"It's Lirielle's brother." Jamie rubbed the back of her head. "She's really worried about him. Apparently he heard about some rich bandits holed up in a cave near Gnaar Mok and decided to see if he couldn't raise the debt money that way - as I said, he's not a trained fighter or anything, and there's been no word since. I said I could go check on him. I wasn't planning to actually go on any jobs until we had this- business all sorted out, but... if he died because I delayed, I'd never be able to forgive myself."
It seemed Jamie was infected by that dangerous disease known as altruism. Well, I might as well take pity on such an unfortunate.
"Hey, I'm a grown adult - and so's Ajira, for that matter. The only one of us who needs a babysitter is Varvur, and Ma'Zajirr seems to have that spot covered. We'll be fine."
I did have to admit it had been comforting to have a trained fighter standing by for back-up, but I'd gone for years without such luxuries. Besides, I'd most likely need several days at least to crack the code - chances were she'd have made it back by the time I did.
"Right. I should be back in two days or thereabouts - Lirielle said the cave is around half a day's walk from Ald'ruhn, but I might stop by a friend's place on the way." Jamie hesitated. "Don't do anything reckless, all right? I'm not sure what that," she nodded at the encrypted letter, "is all about, but if they've used magic to murder before-"
"Me? Reckless? I think you're confusing me for Varvur, here. Trust me, the last thing I plan on doing is heading into danger. That's what you fighter types are for, after all." I gave Jamie a winning smile. She looked strangely unconvinced. "Really! I promise I'll be careful."
"Just... remember, it'll only be a few days until I'm back."
Some time later, I leaned back in my chair in satisfaction.
It had been Vigenerus after all, and I'd had a very lucky break - after working out that the key they were using was most likely fifteen letters long, I'd decided to test if the letter started with Galtis on a hunch. It had, and breaking the whole code was a quick matter after that. Apparently, no one had bothered telling these people that you shouldn't use addresses in encrypted texts. Amateurs.
I made a mental note of the key phrase in case I ran into more people using this system. I wondered whether there was any special meaning behind 'the sleeper wakes' or whether they'd just chosen it because it was memorable? Well, no matter.
I read over the decrypted message.
Galtis,
It seems as though your blunder with the Sarethis will not ruin us after all. Venim has jumped on the opportunity to have something to hold over Sarethi's head by taking the son into custody. He does not seem interested in asking questions.
I will be away on our Lord's business until next Middas. Keep placing statues around Ald'ruhn, and place them quickly and wisely. Remember to keep a low profile this time and make sure they cannot be traced back to you. Should all else fail, do not let yourself be captured alive. Do not disappoint me again.
Destroy this note.
Hanarai
Hanarai. A name. And she was gone right now, assuming the note wasn't more than a week old.
Don't do anything reckless, Jamie had said. Well, a little burglary hardly counted, surely? I'd scope out the terrain first, but I couldn't think it would be difficult - not if the place was empty.
Besides, I told myself, this might be my only chance. Hanarai was coming back tomorrow, and Guvron would notice the theft sooner or later.
Around me the guild was winding towards closing time, various members heading off to their homes for supper. The guild guide, a young Altmer I'd heard called 'Erranil', wasn't one of them. A quick inquiry yielded that the guild guide service would be open until late, that she had food with her in her bag, and numerous complaints about guild regulations regarding maximum working hours - in particular, the exceptions they made for guild guides. I nodded and murmured sympathetically at all the right moments, then steered the conversation over to another topic.
"A census? Hmm..." Erranil tapped her chin. "We don't have one, but I think there are records in the public library. It'll be closed by now, mind you."
Well, so much for my plans - I couldn't very well investigate Hanarai's home if I didn't know where it was. Unless I broke into the public library as well, but-
"Why do you ask?" Apparently I'd made Erranil curious.
"I..." I fell back on the excuse I'd used regarding Caius, "I'm running some deliveries right now, one of them is a Hanarai. But they didn't know exactly where she lives," I improvised. "I was hoping there might be a census I could consult..."
"Hanarai?" Erranil frowned. "That name sounds familiar... oh, do you mean Hanarai Assutlanipal?" Her face cleared. "I send her to Balmora every now and then, and I've seen her attending Vala's history lessons. Where she lives... let me think."
Well, that was a stroke of luck right there. True, as a guild guide Erranil no doubt met a great many people, but Ald'ruhn was still a large city - I hadn't expected her to actually know Hanarai.
"She's a maid at Morvayn manor, but I don't think she lives there. She said something once..." Inwardly, I heaved a sigh of relief - breaking into a manor would make things far more complicated than I'd like. "Oh yes! She lives in the first house on the left on Veloth's Street, the one that goes to the Temple - her house is just at the corner with the stairs that go up to Skar. I remember because she complained about the noise once, living at that intersection. But if you want to drop something off, you might need to wait a few days. I transported her to Balmora Loredas afternoon, I don't think she's come back yet."
Confirmation! See there, I told myself, I had two sources telling me this Hanarai wasn't in Ald'ruhn right now. Having a quiet look around her house was definitely not reckless.
"Oh, that's all right," I said. "It's just a letter, I'll slip it under her door."
I stepped outside the Mages' Guild and into a plane of Oblivion. At least, it was the best explanation I could come up with for why the streets of Ald'ruhn had been replaced by a maelstrom of howling winds and whirling flakes of ash so thick you couldn't even breathe, let alone see.
Oh. That was what those clouds had been about. Suddenly the mention of 'ash storms' I'd overheard earlier made much more sense.
I held one hand in front of my face, trying to shield my eyes from the blowing ash; with the other, I grabbed the end of my scarf and held it over my nose and mouth. This way I could breathe at least a little, even though I suspected I'd be coughing ash for days. Then, teeth gritted, I set out into the storm.
The walk seemed to take forever as I struggled against the wind and ash, the map of Ald'ruhn fixed in my mind. I wished I'd done a little more exploration of the city earlier instead of heading straight to the Rat - right now, it would really be good to know more landmarks. The last thing I wanted was to come bursting in on Hanarai's neighbours.
There! That dark shape ahead had to be the great crab I'd been told earlier was called "Skar", and when I gingerly moved forwards I hit stairs. And – I squinted into the storm – yes, there was a road going off to my right, although I had to admit I didn't much feel like checking whether there was a Temple at its end.
So this house right here must be...
I didn't bother looking around to see if I was being watched before grabbing Allding's lockpicks. Anyone who was stupid enough to be outside right now would be busy trying not to suffocate, and besides, in this weather they'd have to be standing on top of me in order to see what I was doing.
I blew into the house with a cloud of ash and quickly shut the door behind me. For a few moments, I hacked and coughed, then my breathing settled. I spent a few moments indulging in pure joy at the presence of air again. Finally, when I'd recovered somewhat, I took a look around.
Darkness.
I dug into my pack. One of the things I'd taken with me had been... there it was!
I pulled out the candle, then dug further, looking for a firesteel. I was just on the verge of dumping everything I had with me on the floor and sorting through it by feel when I remembered that I hadn't actually taken one with me, the reason for that a certain spell I'd learned my first day on the island. Shaking my head at my forgetfulness, I pinched the wick of the candle into flame, then looked around.
The house looked like a smaller version of the Rat in the Pot, with the same central hearth but only a small sleeping alcove behind it. For a moment I wondered if this was all there was to the house – even smaller than Ajira's home in Balmora – but then I spotted the stairs heading down.
Ash had blown all over the entryway with my hasty entrance. I frowned at the mess – a good targeted burglary leaves everything as it was before, and this would be hard to undo. I'd try to clean up before I left, but if Hanarai kept the front area of her home even remotely tidy it would be easy for her to realise someone had been here when she got back.
Oh well, there was nothing I could do about it now. And since I was here, it was time to see if I couldn't find anything incriminating. Another letter, easy to crack now that I knew the key, or perhaps some of those statues - if I could find one like Varvur described, we could take it to be investigated by a magical expert. Combined with the clear evidence of a conspiracy I'd found, if they found any traces of malignant magic on the thing Varvur would surely be declared innocent and out of my hair for good.
A while later, I'd finished rummaging through most of Hanarai's house and come up blank. All that remained was a locked door on the lower floor which I guessed led to a cellar.
The lock on the outside door had been easy. This one was a great deal harder, and I had no lockpicks other than Allding's - if they broke, I'd be in trouble. This called for generous investments of focus, skill and time, all of which I thankfully had in ample supply. Finally the lock snicked open. I was about to ease the door open when my instincts screamed warning.
A thread, dark enough it was nearly invisible, running across the gap between door and frame-
Ah. A trap.
I smiled grimly. What sort of simple maid sends messages in code and has not just locked but trapped the door to her cellar?
Disarming the trap was easily as tricky as picking the look, with the added complication that I didn't have the right tools with me. I ended up heading upstairs and appropriating some of the contents of Hanarai's sewing kit to serve as my makeshift replacement. By the time I finally managed to disarm the thing, the howling of the storm outside had eased off, my candle was burning dangerously low and my stomach was starting to make grumbling noises indicating that if I didn't give it something to digest in the near future, it would be forced to find something on its own and my stomach lining was right there...
"Patience," I informed it and eased the door open.
The first thing I noticed was that I didn't need my candle. The small room at the bottom of a flight of stairs was lit with a deep, pulsating crimson light, one which promised quite the headache but was enough to see by. Oddly, I couldn't work out where it was coming from.
The second thing I noticed was a sickly sweet rotting smell wafting towards me, reminiscent of the stench of the Blighted guar. Looking down into the room, I suspected the origin might be what looked like a chunk of raw meat, lying on a metal plate as though inviting me to dinner.
I gulped. My hunger had turned tail and fled entirely, and every fibre of my body screamed I should be doing the same. Well - every fibre except for those in my legs. They had taken the first step down the stairs without bothering to consult me. Now they took another, leaving me feeling a little like a mouse hypnotised by a serpent.
As my feet dragged me down the stairs, more details caught my attention:
The tapestry covering the far wall, black and crimson, covered in abstract patterns that were strangely hard to make out... especially because I could almost swear they shifted and writhed like some hill of centipedes on the edge of my vision, even though whenever I looked straight at them they were still.
The feeling of soft, penetrating whispers in the air, perfectly balanced on the edge between too-vivid imagination and actual sound.
The odd metal stand, with more of those chunks of meat hanging from it like some sort of obscene decoration. Up closer, I could see that the meat was covered in great bulging tumors which leaked yellowish pus. Perhaps whatever creature it belonged to had been Blighted-
Whatever creature?
I swallowed hard. Some of the chunks had patches of abraded skin still attached... patches of Dunmer-grey skin.
And... the meat on the plate had what looked like a bite taken out of it.
My stomach decided to take a moment to inform me that it had sat down and seriously contemplated its life and choices up to this point. It regretted how bossy it had been in the past and would like to assure me that it had changed its ways and would never, ever ask for nourishment ever again. In fact, it was strongly considering demonstrating its newfound dedication to fasting by expelling everything it currently contained.
All right. All right. Focus.
I'd found clear and unmistakeable evidence of Hanarai being involved in something, and I highly doubted it was the local knitting circle. If you'd asked me yesterday, I'd have said I wouldn't put much past some of the old grannies I'd seen who'd ruled such gatherings with an iron fist, but I was quite sure that cannibalism was on that short list. At least cannibalism without a knife and fork.
I should really be happy to have discovered something, I told myself. I was sure I'd start being so as soon as I stopped feeling as though I'd wandered into the open maw of a sleeping beast and any moment now it was going to wake up hungry.
A glint of eyes in the corner-
I whirled, heart thumping fit to burst. I only relaxed slightly when I saw the culprit wasn't any person or... creature, but a foot-high red statue on a shelf in the corner, depicting what I thought was some sort of horned demon.
One that looked just like Varvur described, in short.
Shadows shifted and twisted at the base of the statue. The diffuse crimson light reflected strangely off its eyes, making it almost look as if they were glowing.
I did not want to touch that thing.
Wait, why was I moving?
As if in a trance, I found myself stepping forward, reaching out and - mental shrieks of protest in vain - picking up the statue.
It looked and felt like it was made of some sort of reddish stone, albeit one I couldn't identify, but if so it was far too light to be solid. It was also strangely warm, and I almost thought I could feel the slightest slow throb like a faint heartbeat.
The whispers I'd been hearing-imagining this whole time grew steadily louder and more penetrating. I began to make out words...
outlander intruder defiler join us and be forgiven join us and be cleansed join us in the flesh
come to us come to us come to Him beneath Red Mountain
He calls
He calls
THE SLEEPER WAKES-
My mind fought the rising chorus with a single word:
Run.
After an endless frozen moment, that managed to get through to my unresponsive limbs. I wheeled around and ran like I'd never run in my life.
Once I reached the top of the stairs and Hanarai's living area, the voices died away. I didn't halt there, however. I bolted up the next flight of stairs and outside. I only stopped when I was struggling for breath and Hanarai's house was well out of sight.
A quick look around showed that although the storm had stopped, the streets were still almost deserted. Nobody seemed to have noticed my abrupt retreat.
Far more importantly... nothing had followed me.
Good, I thought.
Then I bent over and threw up what felt like everything I'd ever eaten.
"So, you see," I tried. "The good news is, I think we found out what affected Varvur."
Three pairs of eyes stared at the statue where it sat innocuously on Ajira's table.
"That is all very well and good, friend Adryn." Ajira sounded somewhat less than impressed by my heroic effort to find a bright side to the current situation. "However, it strikes Ajira that we have gone from the fire into the lava pool. What," she stabbed a claw towards the statue, taking care not to touch the thing, "are we to do with it now? This item is clearly very dangerous."
"You can say that again," Varvur said, fingers clenched around his mug of tea. He'd gone pasty-white from my first description of Hanarai's cellar and hadn't recovered since. It was a sign of how bad things had gotten that I couldn't even take pleasure in his obvious distress. "I can't believe- I had no idea-" He shuddered so hard tea slopped over the sides of the mug. "I was sleeping with that next to me every night!"
"Do we know anyone who could handle this safely and, preferably, also testify that it would be capable of controlling Varvur to the authorities?" I asked. "One of the high-level guild members, perhaps? They must work with dangerous magical items."
Come to think of it, maybe I should have thought about that before I set out to steal a statue from Hanarai's home...
Ajira was frowning. "Perhaps... Ajira's friend Edwinna, who is mistress of the Ald'ruhn guildhall... but Ajira has never heard Edwinna speak of anything such as this. She works with the Dwemer, mainly, and this is nothing like a Dwemer item."
How had she ever noticed? It wasn't as if not being made of metal was a dead give-away or anything.
"Or Folms Mirel, master of Caldera, who specialises in enchanting... but he can be," Ajira's whiskers twitched, "difficult to work with."
I was relatively certain that was an Ajira-euphemism for something, and equally certain I would rather not find out exactly what it was a euphemism for first-hand. "None of the other masters? Ranis Athrys?" I tried to imagine approaching our remote, superior head of guild for help and swallowed. "Right, no. There's Treb- no. Who's head of the Sadrith Mora guild?"
"I think we should go to the Temple with this," Varvur interrupted before Ajira could answer. "If those- if you really heard the things you said you did, Adryn-" I shot him a narrow-eyed glare at such slander against my honesty, which he rudely ignored- "then this would fall under their remit."
Ajira flinched. "Ah. The mention of Red Mountain, yes? And awakening?"
"I hope it's just coincidence," Varvur said, "or something playing on common fears, but if not..."
I looked back and forth between the two of them. "I'm missing something, aren't I."
Varvur raised an eyebrow. "Of course, you're an outlander, you wouldn't know." He sounded reproving, as though my ignorance of whatever piece of Morrowind-specific knowledge this was were my fault. "Well, it'd take too long to get into now-"
I sat bolt upright, the insult stiffening my spine. "Maybe for someone of your level of intelligence, yes. I hardly imagine it would take me nearly as long to grasp whatever you're talking about. And since I'm the one who actually went into that-" my mind sought and failed to find an appropriate descriptor, so I resorted to, "that- cellar, I think I have a right to know what you're talking about."
Varvur's eyebrows bunched together. He opened his mouth, no doubt about to launch some feeble offensive I would take great delight in tearing to shreds. However, Ajira got there first.
"I call for Saint Meris's peace! Surely we have enough to worry about without arguing?"
Both of us wilted under her stare. She must have learned it from dealing with Ma'Zajirr, because despite the fact that she was the youngest person in the room there was something indefinably parental about that look.
"Friend Adryn," Ajira continued, "the Temple holds there is a great evil sleeping beneath Red Mountain, an ancient foe of the Tribunal themselves, currently contained by the Ghostfence. Not everyone believes this-"
"-although the doubters have generally never actually been within the Ghostfence-"
"-if Ajira may continue? Thank you. The details as well as alternate theories put forth by organizations such as the Imperial Cult are not important right now and truly would take too long to get into." Ajira sounded faintly apologetic. "The important thing is that it is certain there is something at Red Mountain, something which is the source of both corprus and Blight, and it is a thing the Temple is very concerned about."
Source of Blight... Despite the fact that there was really nothing left in my stomach at this point, I still had to swallow back nausea as I remembered the guar the day before, along with the... objects... inside Hanarai's cellar.
"So you think this is connected. Right. Makes sense. I guess in that case," my lips twisted with distaste at the sentence I felt myself forced to utter, "Varvur has a point. About the Temple being the best place to go, I mean."
"Besides, they'd be far more likely to convince the Ald'ruhn judiciary than anyone from the Mages' Guild." Varvur was clearly unable to resist rubbing it in. Well, I supposed he had to make the most of those rare occasions when the stars and moons aligned such that he was right about something. I could be generous.
"This is also a point. The guild is not as... accepted here as we might want, friend Adryn." Before I could ask her what she meant by that, Ajira went on. "So Ajira supposes the question becomes: does anyone have contacts among the Temple one could bring this to?"
Silence.
"I suppose... we could try my cousin," Varvur said after a moment. He sounded rather hesitant. "Salyn Sarethi, he's a Buoyant Armiger. An Armiger would probably be the best person to contact about this – they're respected enough people will listen to them, initiated into enough of the Temple mysteries that they'll know if this thing is a known danger, but have enough independence that they can form their own judgement and investigate on their own. And Salyn is held in high honour even for an Armiger. Recently Lord Vivec himself rewarded him for his service by giving him Enamor, a glass dagger."
Wait a minute. Enamor?
Hadn't I seen something along those lines inscribed on the weapon I'd liberated from Allding earlier today? The weapon that so happened to be a glass dagger, in fact...
Surely it had to be coincidence. Where would that bumbling idiot have come by the thing?
Ajira frowned. "Ajira thinks he does not sound very keen on this plan."
Varvur sighed. "If I contact Salyn, I'm not sure whether he won't consider himself honour-bound to turn me in. And whether he'll just view all this as my trying to wriggle out of trouble. He... we don't get on very well. I just don't know who else to ask."
Suddenly, things slotted together in my head.
"I have an idea," I said. "Let's contact Ervesa. A Buoyant Armiger I know," I added for Varvur's benefit. "I don't know if she's as well-respected as your cousin, but she's an Armiger, and I think she'll listen to me. Besides..."
I paused, dredging up the memory. It had been only a brief snatch of conversation and I'd been distracted, but it had also only been a few days ago and close to events that were branded in my memory.
"I think she might have seen these before," I said slowly. "When I was in Suran with her, she spent a long time talking to the priestess at the Temple there. I remember that there was something wrong there, something that worried both of them and meant we couldn't stay the night. They talked about 'cleansing', and I think I heard them mention statues as well."
Varvur's mouth had fallen open, making him look like a particularly stupid goldfish. Ajira nodded. "That sounds like a very good plan, friend Adryn. Ajira forgot that you too have contacts in the Temple hierarchy."
"Right, I'll send a letter," I said. "She said I could reach her through the hall at Molag Mar." The candle on Ajira's table was definitely shorter than it had been when I arrived – we'd been at this for quite a while, and I'd already gotten back late. "I'm guessing the Courier's Guild won't still be open?"
Ajira shook her head. "They will reopen tomorrow at dawn. To Molag Mar... if we send the letter then and pay for express delivery, it should get there by midday."
"That's quick!" Trying to get a letter from one city to another in Skyrim could take weeks. "Do they use-"
Varvur's mouth finally closed. "You're friends with a Buoyant Armiger?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Well, yes. I just said so. Do keep up, will you?"
"But- but- you! A Buoyant Armiger!"
I turned to Ajira. "He's even less coherent than usual – did he get hit in the head at any point today? Get into your potions cupboard? Strain himself by attempting to count past ten without using his toes?"
At this point, I knew Ajira well enough to tell she was hiding a smile. "Ah – friend Adryn, I believe he is simply a little surprised."
Varvur let himself fall back in his chair, head dropping back. "The world is a strange and mysterious place," he told the ceiling.
"Are we decided on what to do, then?" I asked, ignoring Varvur. It was honestly a relief to have a solid course of action.
"It all sounds like a good plan, friend Adryn. There is only one thing Ajira can think of."
"Oh?" I tried to ignore my sinking feeling.
"What are we to do with the statue for now?"
There was a long pause. Varvur looked puzzled, which fit with my general estimation of his intelligence. Unlike him, I'd realised what Ajira was getting at and was filled with slowly dawning horror.
"It is the biggest piece of evidence we have to prove the honoured Varvur Sarethi's innocence," Ajira went on. "So we must be careful not to lose it. And it sounds as if it would be far too dangerous to leave unwatched in any case, especially as neither Ajira nor friend Adryn have any places to safely store such an item. So someone must stay near it. And..."
"...and as far as we're aware, sleeping near this thing makes you kill people," I finished for Ajira. "Point taken. Point very much taken."
The next pause was even longer, and this time everyone involved looked equally horrified.
"Someone's going to have to keep watch on it overnight. Aren't they." I wished fiercely that Jamie had decided to stick around instead of swanning off to be a hero and rescue people from what sounded like their own folly. I was sure I'd have been able to make a solid case that guarding dangerous magical artifacts was right up her alley.
Varvur paled as he looked at the statue. "I... er. I suppose." He swallowed. "If it's necessary, I can... it would be the honourable thing to do..."
"Is that supposed to be an offer to take the thing?" I stared at him, incredulous. "Has Sheogorath touched your mind? You're the one who's succumbed to it. You're the last person who should be near it."
"No, friend Adryn." I looked at Ajira in surprise. Her ears were flattened to her head and I could see her tail bristling. "He is not quite the last person - that would be Ma'Zajirr. Ajira refuses to have that, that thing anywhere near him."
"Right. Well, the three of you are all staying here, so..." I groaned. "...I'm going to have to be the one to take it now, aren't I."
"Ajira- er. If it is necessary, Ajira could stay somewhere else tonight-" The reluctance in every syllable was palpable.
"No," I said, then swallowed. "No, it's all right. I... it's for the best I take it. Ma'Zajirr might need you, and- and I'm the only one who stays in the Guild overnight, after all. I can put it in a corner somewhere... hopefully if it's far enough away it won't affect me at all. And if, if worst comes to worst, I do fall asleep and it affects me, you said you had your statue for weeks before the black-outs started, right?" I asked Varvur.
He nodded. "The nightmares started right after I got it, but the first blackouts were at least two weeks later... I don't remember exactly, though."
"Right! So even if I do fall asleep - which I'm not going to! - I should be fine."
True, I wasn't looking forward to a sleepless night after a few blissful nights of good dreams (or at least dreams I could barely remember, which I figured amounted to the same thing at this point), but if worst came to worst, considering the level of experience I had in the area I considered myself well-equipped to fend off a few nightmares for a while.
But, said a nagging voice, what if I-
What if it Comma-
We wouldn't let it get that far in the first place, I told myself firmly. Not only was I well-practiced in staying up all night - had been on a mostly nocturnal schedule up until I'd arrived in Morrowind, in fact - but Varvur had lasted for weeks before the statue got the better of him. I'd pit my willpower against his any day.
"If friend Adryn is certain..." Ajira looked torn.
My nod was far more confident than I felt. "I am," I said. "I'll keep an eye on it overnight, and then-"
What then? It was unlikely Ervesa would get my message and come rushing over the very next day, and I had to sleep at some point.
"Ajira will come by the Mages' Guild early," Ajira took over. "She will keep watch on it during the day, while friend Adryn brings her letter to the Courier's Guild and returns to Ajira's home to sleep. She does not have Guild duties, after all, no one will insist she remains."
"Yes. That works. And Jamie will be back in a few days, which will make it easier to take shifts. And if- anything happens," my voice did not just shake, "or after a week we haven't heard back from Ervesa yet, we can think of something else."
I shifted, ready to stand up to leave, and felt something hard press into my waist. The hilt of the dagger I'd liberated from Allding.
The dagger which, much as I'd been trying to remember it otherwise, had Enamor engraved along the blade.
I had a fierce argument with myself in my head. It went along the lines of:
A gift from a god? Stealing one of those has never ended well for the thief across the entirety of mythology. I didn't think "but I didn't steal it directly!" was going to pass muster.
...but forty septims.
And since it was a gift from a god, Varvur's cousin was certain to have missed it already. I didn't want to bet on him not being able to track it to me, especially since there was no saying what kind of magic was on the thing.
...but forty septims.
In the end, it was the realisation that there was no way I could safely fence the thing more than anything else that decided me.
"Is there anything wrong, friend Adryn?"
"Not exactly. But..."
With a deep sigh for the sake of my lost fortune, I withdrew the dagger from where I'd tucked it into my shirt.
"...Varvur, does this look familiar?"
Late that night found me curled up in one of the chairs in the Mages' Guild main room with Antecedents of Dwemer Law. If I was going to stay up the entire night, I wanted something to occupy my thoughts.
My eyes flicked over to the other side of the room.
We'd wrapped the statue in a sack before I left, and I'd deposited it in the far corner of the sleeping alcove. Despite the book in my hands, I found I kept glancing over to the dark, flickering shadow it made in the candlelight.
This time as always, it was unchanged, and I scoffed at myself. What was I afraid of? Target for a Co- for a malignant spell, perhaps, but it was hardly going to get up and wander about.
In fact, from what Varvur had said he'd slept directly next to the thing. I couldn't imagine that a spell as complex as that had to be had a particularly great range. Most likely I was being over-cautious and it couldn't affect me all the way over here.
Not that I was planning to test that.
So far as concerns the influence of the Altmeri law upon our own, especially the Altmeri law of master and servant, the evidence of it is to be found in every judgment which has been recorded for the last five hundred years.
I yawned.
Maybe this book, dry as it was, had been a bad choice. I should've continued reading Ruins of Kemel-Ze instead, or picked up an alchemy book from Ajira, or one of the books on the local religion I'd bought from Jobasha on Ervesa's recommendation. I really didn't know why I hadn't thought of the last earlier, considering the mess we were in was apparently all tied up in religious matters. I supposed I could get up to get one now, but I was feeling so comfortable right here...
Concentrate, Adryn!
In the laws of Karndar Watch (P.D. 1180) it is said, "If one who is owned by another slays one who owns himself, the owner must pay the associates three fine instruments and the body of the one who his owned." There are many other similar citations. And the same principle is extended even to...
The words swam before my eyes. I blinked, trying to force them back into focus.
It was a little odd, come to think of it. I'd slept unusually well the previous two nights, and then the earlier revelation of Enamor had resulted in a furious argument (one that would probably still be occurring if Ma'Zajirr hadn't returned, prompting Ajira to threaten to toss both of us out on our ear). I'd stalked my way back to the Mages' Guild brimming with righteous fury - sleep had been the furthest thing from my mind. Why was I so tired?
Then again, I'd had a very stressful day of it. The last few hours in particular I'd mainly spent running off nervous energy. No wonder that, given a chance to sit down and relax, everything was catching up with me.
My eyelids felt so heavy...
Something brushed my chin. I jerked upright, realising my head had fallen forward.
Reading clearly wasn't working. I needed to get up, walk around, wake myself up a little. I could maybe make myself a cup of hackle-lo tea in the kitchen...
Or a potion! An energising potion should keep me awake well enough. I didn't know why I hadn't thought of it earlier. I could get up and go over to the alchemy lab to fetch one.
I remembered thinking this chair was uncomfortable when I sat down earlier. Why? Now that I was settled it was perfectly cozy, soft (I must not have noticed the cushions), supporting me in just the right way.
Despite the fact that it wasn't even close to used up yet, the candle was guttering. Its flame shrunk and shrunk until all that was left was a tiny, flickering blue core, a mere spark in the gloom around me.
I needed to get up. I needed an energising potion, I needed to find a new candle, a more interesting book, I needed to stay awake-
The candle went out.
My limbs felt like lead. I'd get up in a minute, I promised myself. I was just going to rest my eyes for a moment...
The last thing I saw before falling asleep was a dull red glow from the far corner.
Notes:
For anyone who's interested: the cipher used in Hanarai's letter is a Vigenère cipher, a type of encryption which is used in-game in the package for Caius Cosades. It should be crackable the way Adryn describes, although I admit I have no idea how long it would really take without the benefit of computers.
Which means I may accidentally have turned Adryn into a cryptographic super-genius... oh well, she deserves something to balance out the fact that all her combat skills rest at around -20.
On another note, the nice thing about writing a novelisation is that I get to share all my feelings about the Sixth House, in particular how I have found it and everything connected to it absolutely nightmare-inducing since the first time I played, with a receptive audience! You're welcome. :D
Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven
Notes:
Many, many thanks to mALX, who allowed me to borrow her character Maxical for a brief cameo.
Chapter Text
"Thank you for agreeing to see me," Sotha Sil said, lowering himself into the chair.
"It was no problem. Anything to drink?"
Knowing Sil's habits as I did, I didn't wait for an answer before making my way towards the bottles on the nearby shelf, which featured a wide selection of beverages for all sorts of visitors. I was already reaching towards the bottle of greef (a substance I personally considered more suited for scouring metal than ingestion, but proper hospitality does require some sacrifices) when, to my surprise, Sil shook his head.
"I need to rush off after this, I'm afraid," he said. "Although in all honesty, I don't think you'll feel much like chatting after this discussion."
Sil was never exactly what I'd call cheery, but even for him the expression on his face was more suited to a funeral than a visit to an erstwhile pupil and current friend. My spirits fell.
"All right. What is it?"
For a long moment, Sil said nothing, eyes boring into me.
Despite myself and despite the general gravity of the situation, I had to fight the urge to squirm. No mer on Nirn was quite so good at reducing me to feeling like an errant child as Sil, which was really quite a feat considering we only met when I was twenty. One expects that sort of thing from tribe elders, but coming from a mer who'd only ever known me as an adult it felt distinctly unfair. I wondered if I could lodge a complaint.
(Something was wrong.)
"I think," Sil finally said, "the Dwemer are up to something."
My first reaction was to scoff.
"Oh, the Dwemer are up to something. Believe me, I can't wait to hear what. Is it human sacrifice again? Another sneak attack to desecrate our tombs?" Centuries, I'd spent, trying to bring our peoples to friendship and having the Chimer fight me at every turn. By now, I could rattle off the litany of supposed Dwemer crimes in my sleep. "Are they kidnapping children? Plotting to corrupt our holy relics? Murdering-"
"Nerevar."
Sil's voice cut through mine, silencing me as immediately and thoroughly as though he'd used a spell.
"I would appreciate it if you'd remember who you are talking to."
Sil's tone was acidic, and I could feel heat rise in my cheeks.
It was true - I'd let my impatience with the topic get the better of me. I knew better than to believe Sotha Sil, the one who'd taught me to see a problem from all sides instead of letting myself be blinded by my prejudices, the master wizard who frequently collaborated with Kagrenac, would bring me those tales.
I inhaled to speak, then broke off. All of a sudden the air was filled with a sickly sweet rotten stench, choking-
The smell was gone as if it had never been there, and Sil was still looking at me witheringly. I frowned, trying to bring my focus back on the current discussion. It was important, and Sil would have no patience for my distraction.
"I apologise, Sil," I said. "I've spent too much time talking to Hlaalu Tovas and Omayn Lleranu lately."
Sil accepted my apology with a stately nod and a sharp glance saying don't do it again. "As I was saying," he continued after a moment, "I believe the Dwemer are up to something. I've been treated unusually badly on all my visits of late, not by new guardsmen or children but by mer I've known for years - mer who should know better. And they're being extremely secretive about whatever it is they're working on. Nothing," Sil emphasised, "they'll tell me nothing, after centuries of collaboration. It bodes ill, Nerevar."
Foreboding grew within me, quite distracting me from my overactive imagination. I tried to squash it, tried to tell myself this surely had an innocent explanation, but I could not quite force down the thought: is this the end?
Dumac was the closest friend I'd ever had, closer than Alandro Sul who was as good as my brother, closer than Voryn or Vivec or Sil, closer even than my own wife Almalexia. One of the cornerstones of that friendship was the knowledge that we might be forced to kill each other one day. We were both leaders of our peoples, our duty to them took precedence over our personal desires, and despite our best efforts the Chimer and Dwemer were not friends. If they went to war one day, Dumac and I would meet on opposite sides of a battlefield. For so long we had managed to placate the many factions who wanted to do away with our uneasy coexistence, four hundred years of peace, and now-
movement, out of the corner of my eye-
I jerked my head upwards, but when I fixed my gaze on the spot nothing was there. I blinked. I could have sworn I'd seen...
Apparently my mind had decided today was the best day to play tricks on me. At least Sil, still patiently waiting for me to pick up my part of the conversation, didn't seem to have noticed I was behaving strangely.
"How certain are you that it is serious?" I asked him, forcing my attention back on the current situation. "As opposed to something like - some theoretical debate about the nature of the gods which they keep from you because they think it will deeply offend the Chimer, or some young experimentalist with a disregard for his own safety who is worried your disapproval will sink his entire project and has gone on preemptive attack?"
The latter was hardly unheard of. After the incident during Hearthfire ten years ago, Sil would have to be senile to have forgotten young Yagrum Bagarn.
Sil grimaced. "I wish I could say it could be such a thing, but when the Dwemer stonewalled me I may have engaged in some... surreptitious investigation."
He glanced at me as though expecting my disapproval. Any I felt, I kept to myself. Four hundred years had taught me some of the necessities of politics, even if I still didn't like them.
"What I've found," he continued, "indicates they are on the verge of some major breakthrough - the work is attributed to Kagrenac himself - and the orders that the Chimer should not know come from the highest ranks. And I'm not the only one who's noticed the Dwemer behaving strangely, either. Voryn's mentioned similar things."
"He has?" Another blow to my hope that this would prove unfounded. Like Sil and me, Voryn was one of the few Chimer who worked closely with the Dwemer. Unlike us, his main contacts were among warriors and merchants. If both Sil and Voryn had noticed something odd... "What did he say, exactly?"
Sil opened his mouth in reply and said:
(join us in the flesh join us beneath Red Mountain-
the sleeper wakes-
Dagoth Ur does not want you here! )
I blinked. Had I drifted off for a moment?
"I'm sorry, Sil, I didn't catch that."
"I was saying, I decided this is serious enough that we shouldn't risk its being distorted through second-hand tales. I asked Voryn to meet me here in order to tell you directly. In fact, I think that's him now," he said, glancing over my shoulder...
Something was wrong.
Sil's mouth continued moving, but his voice faded away until all I could hear was a roaring in my ears. Our surroundings wavered like a mirage, as though everything, from the walls and furnishings to the report bearing Vivec's signature on my desk, were an illusion on the verge of collapse. I shot up from my chair-
Except there was no chair, there was no room, it was only bloody fog surrounding Sotha Sil as he stood before me, my teacher as he'd looked all the long years I'd known him-
-a mer with golden skin but eyes and hair too dark to be an Altmer, looking at me sadly, looking at me with recognition as his skin darkened and his eyes became flame and shadows began to grasp at us, a mer who looked so very familiar except I'd never seen him before in my life-
What colour were my hands?
The question burst into my mind, nonsensical as it was - obviously my hands were just as they'd always been, which meant-
(gold-
grey-)
Claws dug into my shoulder from behind.
"Found you."
I woke screaming.
Once I'd managed to stop screaming, I decided it was in truth rather embarrassing. At this point, the amount of experience I had with nightmares was actually quite depressing if you chose to think about it (I generally didn't). You could even call me something of a connoisseur. And I'd endeavoured to train myself out of the more unsightly reactions to them - screaming being at the very top of that list, and one I'd had made quite a satisfying amount of progress with. I hadn't reacted to a dream like that in years. And all it took for me to break that pattern was a dream of someone touching my shoulder and saying found you?
That voice.
The rest of the dream was already gone, vanishing the moment I was fully awake like all the dreams I'd had recently, but the end remained dreadfully clear. That voice like a knife stabbing straight into my brain, terrifying and inhuman and, worst of all, triumphant. Triumphant like someone who'd achieved his heart's desire, like a scholar who'd destroyed his bittermost rival or a general who'd just won his war... triumphant like someone who had spent a very, very long time indeed looking for me.
And that hand- it had come from out of nowhere, gripping my shoulder like a vise. I swore I could still feel it there, claw-tipped fingers digging into my skin, feel scalding breath blowing into my ear-
I forced myself to take slow, deep breaths, let my own hands relax from where they'd clenched on the chair's armrests. Then I reached for the candle on the table.
It took me two tries to get the fire spell to work, then two more until my hand stopped shaking long enough for me to pinch the wick of the candle. Finally, it flared into life and cast soft, reassuring light onto my surroundings.
Yes, this was definitely the Mages' Guild common area. I'd fallen asleep in my chair despite everything, but I was awake now. Awake, alone, everything was as it had been when I went to-
My blood froze in my veins.
The statue was sitting on the table next to me.
But- but I'd put it away. I'd wrapped it in a sack, left that on the opposite side of the room-
A quick glance to that area showed the sack right where I'd left it. I ascertained that it now looked crumpled and empty before I realised with a jolt that it probably wasn't a good idea to take my eyes off the statue.
It was still on the table, where it would have been only feet away from my head while I slept. I could swear it was smiling at me-
Wait.
The hair on the back on my neck stood up.
It... it was smiling at me. The lips of that demonic face were unmistakeably curved upwards.
But surely - surely it hadn't looked like that earlier? I'd studied it, I knew I had, wanting to memorise how it looked. I remembered how my skin had crawled at its empty stare, its emotionless visage. Were my eyes playing tricks on me?
The chair fell back with a clatter as I shot up and back, eyes fixed on the statue as if it were a striking cobra. Frankly, I'd rather have had the striking cobra.
The statue didn't move.
Plastered against the wall, I didn't either.
I might have nodded off despite myself earlier, but one thing was for sure - I was definitely not getting any more sleep this night. And I suspected it would be a very, very long one.
MORROWIND COURIERS GUILD
RECEIVED AT: Balmora GH, VF
HOUR: 1st
DATE: 26 HF 427
SENDER: Adryn
ORIGIN: Mages Guild, Balmora, VF
RECIPIENT: Ervesa Romandas
DESTINATION: Armiger Stronghold, Molag Mar, VF
DELIVERY: EX (g.g. S.M., A.I.)
PAYMENT: 0S 30D
(X) received
( ) pending
[written in a steady, neat hand]
Dear Ervesa,
First, thank you so much for the flowers! My friend Ajira and I made much of them. In particular, we made Feather and Frost Shield potions, along with some draughts to cure disease and to restore strength - so the thanks I convey are not just on my own behalf, but also on Ajira's and the Balmora Mages' Guild alchemy shop. As for the amulet, you're correct that I am not much of an adventurer (how did you ever guess?). However, it has come in unexpectedly handy, and I owe you a great deal of thanks for that as well.
With how much how you've already helped me, I feel awkward asking you for more. However, I don't know who else to turn to.
I've recently come into possession of a strange statue. It's around a foot tall, made out of an odd red material I can't identify and depicts some sort of horned demon. We believe this statue may be linked to [several words are crossed out] involuntary behaviour, perhaps a sort of focus for a Command spell? In any case the thing seems... unholy, and as for the place I found it - well, I'd rather not describe that in a letter, but suffice it to say 'unholy' is a mild description.
If you have any ideas regarding this or a suggestion for what to do about it, I would very much appreciate it if you could get in touch with me. I'm a little worried about keeping this thing with me.
Adryn
[added later. The same handwriting as before, this time hurried and uneven]
P.S. Please come as soon as possible it is urgent!!
"More tea?"
"No, but thank you." I waved the worried Ajira away. She meant well, but the amount of tea she'd already gotten me to consume had left me trembling from the stimulants.
Well, I thought ruefully, at least the trembling was partially due to the stimulants.
"Something to eat, then? Ajira could run over to the baker's and get more rolls... or perhaps friend Adryn could use a potion! Rejuvenating? Magicka restoring? Healing? Fortifying willpower or perhaps fatigue? Friend Adryn need only say what she would like, and Ajira will-"
"Ajira!" I broke in. "I appreciate it, really, but I don't need anything. I promise." I tried to smile at her. Judging by her expression, it didn't work very well. "I just want to sit down for a bit. You should get back to the alchemy desk. I'm sure you've got customers waiting."
"Ajira thinks learning a little patience will do them good."
This smile came easier. "I agree, but I don't think our guildmistress does."
Teleportation Girl had wandered off for about half an hour while we were working yesterday morning, the result being that not only I but probably everyone within two hundred feet of the guild hall when she came back overheard Ranis Athrys' opinions regarding 'abandoning one's post'.
Ajira huffed a sigh - as another witness to said explosion she was clearly unable to argue that point. "Very well. But," she fixed me with a gimlet eye, "if friend Adryn should need anything - anything at all - she need only say, and Ajira will do whatever she can to help."
"I know. And I do appreciate it, I just don't need anything right now and I don't want you to get in trouble with Ranis Athrys because you were hovering."
"Ajira supposes that makes sense. Very well." After two steps back toward her workstation, Ajira stopped and turned back. "Ajira will be just over here, at the desk or in the alchemy lab-"
"Are you a Khajiit or a mother hen? Go on, shoo!"
Finally, Ajira shooed.
Reluctantly.
I shook my head once she'd left, leaning back in the seat I'd claimed at the little table in the guildhall kitchen. I couldn't blame Ajira for being worried about me considering the scene she'd walked in on earlier, but she'd really gone overboard on the fussing.
Still, she'd been a lifesaver that morning. Not only had she managed to calm me down from the state of intense panic I'd spent most of the night in, she'd volunteered to keep an eye on the statue during the day... a process that included fending off Teleportation Girl's questions about why, exactly, we'd wrapped a sack in rope and tied it to a table in the alchemy lab using the toughest knots both of us knew.
The statue had given no sign of movement or engaged in any other un-statue-like behaviour during the whole process. My opinion was that it was trying to lull us into a false sense of security.
I looked at my hands. Still shaking, but much less than earlier. Despite our original plan, I couldn't possibly imagine trying to sleep this morning, but perhaps in a bit of time my hands would be steady enough that I could go work in the lab. Ajira would be much happier to have me under her eye, I'd be happier to have that statue under my own, and brewing potions always calmed me down-
"Ah, there you are you, Adryn. I was just looking for you."
The sentiment echoed that from my nightmare. I jerked upright, found you echoing in my ears.
Ranis Athrys frowned at me from the entrance to the kitchen area.
"Oh. Guildmistress. I'm sorry, you... you startled me." I sank back into my chair.
"Clearly." Ranis' voice was dry.
"What- I- what can I do for you?" My heart, which had been doing its level best to thump its way free from my ribcage, started to slow down again.
"Well, I was hoping we could have a word." Ranis sat down across from me. After a brief pause during which she looked at me meaningfully, I realised she was expecting me to serve her tea and got up to fetch her mug.
"I've spoken to Ajira, and she's been very pleased with your work," she said, watching me nearly drop the mug. "Said you've been extremely helpful to her in her research. And I've also had word from Malven Romori in Vivec commending your willingness. All things told, it is clear you are ready to devote your time to guild duties. As a result, it is my pleasure to inform you that as of today, you are now an Apprentice of the Mages' Guild."
"...Thank you?" I honestly didn't care much about my rank in the guild. Still, I could tell that Ranis was expecting something more. "I'm, er, honoured, considering that it's been such a short time- sorry!" I'd just managed to pour tea all over the table. "Let me get that-"
Ranis sniffed and waved her hand over the spill. Red magicka followed it; the tea vanished in a puff of steam.
"Being promoted to Apprentice isn't a matter of skill, you must understand," she said, watching with clear skepticism as I gave the whole 'serving tea' thing a second try. I clenched my teeth and willed my hands to still. "Rather, it is one of... mm... dedication. Associates are those who may be willing to fetch an item here or guard an expedition there, but who are not willing to commit any further. Their number includes those - and there are many - who join the guild for the services only and have no appreciation for true scholarship.
"It is clear that you are not one such, and so you are an Apprentice. Journeyman, now," Ranis eyed me sternly, "that promotion will require skill, scholarship, and history with the guild. Do not expect it anytime soon."
"Yes!" I grinned in triumph as my second attempt at pouring tea succeeded with not a drop going to the wrong place. "Er, I mean - I don't mind, really. I'm just happy to be a member of the guild- ma'am." The honourific was hastily tacked on to butter up Ranis.
Judging by her deep frown, it didn't work. Well, perhaps she was one of those people for whom rank and hierarchy is of utmost importance and who simply don't understand it if you don't care. I'd met those before and it had always been a case of deep, mutual incomprehension.
"In any case, as an Apprentice you are expected to be more heavily involved with the guild." Ranis took a sip of her tea, grimaced, and lifted her other hand to the mug as well. Once again magicka sparked, followed by steam rising from the cup. I watched with interest and some level of envy. Apprentice, Associate, Journeyman, who cared - I wanted to learn how to reheat tea like that. "You will be granted a stipend as well as permission to stay in guild hall accommodation indefinitely - for Associates, there is a time limit of ten days - but you should be spending most of your time on guild duties."
Was that a so why are you sitting around here drinking - or not drinking - tea? Just in case, I said, "I was about to go help Ajira, brew some potions or-" I shuddered at the thought, "man the alchemy desk-"
"No, no, that won't do at all." Ranis was smiling as she dismissed my greatest skill and passion. It was not a comforting expression. "We really don't have need of an additional person working on alchemy in any of the guilds. Here in Balmora, the work is such that Ajira should be perfectly capable of it alone."
I blinked.
Seriously?
Even in the few days I'd actually managed to spend at the guild, I'd seen Ajira caught in the conundrum that her duties included selling potions to customers and replenishing the supply and doing research and writing reports on her findings, which meant that she was generally supposed to be doing three things at once. Hardly a wonder she'd been deeply grateful for my help - and now Ranis was saying that it wasn't necessary?
"But-" I began to protest.
"Are you interrupting me, apprentice?" Ranis' words were soft and deadly. I realised with a jolt I didn't know what other Destruction magic she was capable of.
"...No, ma'am." My voice was tiny.
"Keep it that way. Now, as I was saying, I really cannot justify your presence at the alchemy desk. However, the amount of work Galbedir is faced with is frequently too much for one person - I've been thinking about finding another enchanter. I'd like you to work as her assistant from now on."
Apparently taking my expression of sheer, dumbstruck horror as agreement, Ranis nodded. "Wonderful. I'm glad we had this discussion. Now, I have some duties to perform. I expect to see you working with Galbedir by the time I'm finished. Understood?"
I really wished I hadn't.
Galbedir was, if anything, even less happy about this new arrangement than I was.
"Are you kidding me? Unlike our so-called alchemist, I'm perfectly able to do my job. I don't need an assistant - let alone you." Scorn dripped from her voice.
Not reacting to the slight against Ajira took a concerted effort of will. "Well, I suggest you take that up with our guildmistress," I pointed out instead. A quick glance down the stairwell showed that Ranis wasn't in her office, so I felt it was safe to add, "I don't particularly want to be here either."
Especially since that statue was still downstairs. Unfortunate indeed that Ranis hadn't been willing to listen to objections, even if I had been able to figure out how to phrase we're aiding someone wanted for murder and so we brought some sort of demonic possibly-alive statue into the guild without telling anyone and it gives people nightmares and Controls them and is apparently able to move and I'd rather like to keep it within sight without getting thrown out of the guild, possibly bodily. I reminded myself firmly that Ajira was on top of the situation and I had other problems that demanded my focus right now.
"Ask her to let you keep messing around with that Khajiit? Not going to work," Galbedir predicted with an long-suffering air. After shooting a similar glance at the open door at the foot of the stairwell, she went on. "Ranis has done this before - I think she likes testing people. Weeding out the ones who won't follow her orders, even when those orders make no sense."
"What, has she been taking tips from Trebonius?"
A laugh escaped Galbedir - I wasn't sure which of us was more surprised. "Trebonius? Let me guess - what did he ask you to do?"
"Solve the mystery of the Dwemer." I shrugged.
"Solve the- he's surpassing himself, I see. All he asked me to do was recreate Azura's Star. Ludicrous, of course, and he still asks me how I'm progressing anytime I'm in Vivec! I suppose I can be grateful it was at least related to my actual area of research." Galbedir shook her head, sending blonde braids flying.
"Malven Romori wants me to start studying the Dwemer," I said carefully. "Something about at least appearing to respect the head of the guild. Do you think I could get Ranis to relent that way?"
"Hmm... not very likely," Galbedir judged. "She doesn't like Malven, claims she's taking on responsibilities and privileges beyond her station. I think Malven deserves every privilege and more for stepping up to try to keep order in Vivec, but Ranis can get very particular when it comes to rank. So telling her wouldn't help you. Probably better to keep your head down and tough it out until Ranis decides she's made whatever point she's trying to make with this nonsense." Galbedir grimaced.
So it sounded as if I was stuck with this duty for now. At least Galbedir was now looking at me with slightly less contempt, which I hoped would make our temporary (please be temporary) partnership somewhat more bearable.
"Well, let's get to it. Here, watch." Galbedir hefted a silver dagger lying on the table, "I have a contract from Wayn over at the Fighters Guild to give this a medium-strength fire damage enchantment. Pretty straightforward. I'm going to use this soul gem here, a common gem containing a betty netch's soul-"
I gulped. "Do you actually enchant using souls?"
It was a question I'd always wondered about and never gotten a clear answer to, something which had never seemed quite so pressing. Ranis or no Ranis, I wasn't sure I could bring myself to bind some poor animal's soul to a weapon to eternally serve as some kind of reservoir for magicka.
Galbedir took a deep breath before answering. "Well- the answer is yes and no. Yes, in that this," she tapped the glimmering gem, "does contain a netch's soul. No, in that the soul is released to Aetherius when we use the gem to enchant something. What we're really after and what will go into the blade is the creature's life energy and magicka. The soul being trapped is more of a... temporary byproduct of storing it until the actual process of enchanting, and I know people have tried and are trying to find a way to capture only the life energy and magicka from the start. No results yet, though."
That explanation cleared up some of the more muddled things I'd read about enchanting. One thing definitely stood out to me, waking my curiosity even through all the other worries on my mind. "Really? I'd have thought it'd be more difficult to capture a creature's soul than its life energy. Do you know why it's easier to capture the soul? Is it something to do with the Dreamsleeve, maybe?"
Galbedir blinked at me, clearly taken aback. "You'd have to ask Folms Mirel, over in Caldera - he's interested in the theory. Honestly, I don't know that much about this myself. I'm more into the practical side of things."
I nodded, making a mental note of the name. "I suppose at least you don't bind the souls into the enchanted object." That had been my main worry, after all.
"We don't," Galbedir agreed. "There are ways of using a soul gem to fix a soul in the world - the classic example is necromancy, using one to create undead - but outside of Temple ceremonies that's a serious crime and nothing I deal with. Especially when it comes to the souls of people."
"What do you mean by Temple ceremonies?" Every answer seemed to throw up more questions.
Galbedir groaned. "To understand that, you'd have to talk to a priest. Balmora Temple has some quite friendly ones, I'm told. It's certainly nothing to do with what I do." She took a deep breath. "Look, if you want to look into the theory and that sort of thing, I suggest you do it in your own time. For now, I'd like to get this dagger enchanted, because Ranis may have assigned you to work with me but she certainly hasn't reduced my workload any to accommodate teaching. So if you just watch - quietly - I'll tell you what I do."
"All right," I said, feeling slightly sheepish. I supposed I had been asking rather a lot of questions.
Galbedir relaxed. "Good. Now, in order to enchant this dagger..."
Once we left the topic of the theory of enchanting, Galbedir turned out to be quite a good teacher (judging by my attempts with Gelduin a few days ago, certainly far better than me). Not only was her explanation of the different steps involved in the process of enchantment very clear, she also went into detail about the spells the Mages' Guild had developed to keep a soul gem from being destroyed if the enchantment failed.
"See, most of the time people will simply teach you how to transfer the energy over from the soul gem to the object you're trying to enchant. But if you do it that way, if you screw up forming the spell in the object - and you will, especially when it comes to more powerful spells or ones with multiple effects - the energy goes into the ether, the soul heads into Aetherius and you're left with nothing. A few hundred years ago, someone in the guild figured out a way of anchoring the soul to the gem while you work, so that if something goes awry everything just gets sucked back into the soul gem. I hear in Cyrodiil they've got fancy altars to do that for them," Galbedir's lip curled, "but out in the provinces we've got to do it ourselves. Makes the whole thing more complicated, but means you can try again after you fail. See, I need to spread magicka across the surface of the crystal, starting at the vertex closest to the spell's entry point and then following an Ealarian circuit-"
Galbedir's exact explanation for how one was supposed to form one's magicka was rather more difficult to follow, not helped by the fact that I was really too exhausted for all this right now. Thankfully, I hit on the idea of using my Detection spell. Tuned to magicka rather than to living beings and set to a very short range, it allowed me to "see" the magical net Galbedir wove through the soul gem, then the way she formed what I could only think of as instructions for a fire spell within the silver dagger-
"-you have to write your spell schematic inside the object's magical matrix. More powerful or more complicated spells need a longer schematic, so for those you need objects with a denser matrix and many simplices to inscribe the schematic. Gemstones will do well for rings or amulets. For weapons, silver is best - well, Daedric really, followed by ebony and glass, but since you're not likely to ever clap your eyes on any of those-"
-and finally, how she created a magical channel between soul gem and dagger. Power leapt along it like lightning, roaring into the weapon. There it was drawn into the spell Galbedir set as though the lightning were following metal rods. Finally, when all the power had left the soul gem and the dagger fairly blazed with magicka, the magical net around the gem dissolved. I almost thought I could feel something break free-
Then my spell ended. With my regular eyes, I watched as the soul gem abruptly shattered.
"I wish we could reuse them," Galbedir muttered. Sweat stood out on her forehead, but her fingers were sure and untrembling as she swept the dust that was all that remained into a wastebasket. "At least this one did what it was supposed to."
Indeed, the dagger glimmered with enchantment. I watched as Galbedir dropped a scrap of parchment on the blade, unsurprised when it burst into flame. Galbedir nodded in satisfaction, then set the dagger aside.
"Well, that's that order. Now, I need to make some scrolls, and those are finicky - you'd need to be journeyman-level in enchanting at least to have a chance." Galbedir paused for a moment. "Tell you what, I have a few petty souls lying around, as well as some cheap jewellery. Things I'd usually use for a charm for the commoners, not worth more than a few drakes." She sniffed, evidently at the thought of commoners. "Not particularly important if you ruin them, in any case. Why don't you give it a try?"
Not exactly a ringing endorsement. But Galbedir's contemptuous attitude towards 'commoners' had caused my old antipathy to resurge, and I was worried I was going to say something I'd regret if I was around her much longer. So I just nodded.
I went through quite a few of the soul gems until I worked out how to create Galbedir's net. It was an eerie sensation, laying my magicka across the crystal and feeling something flutter against it, like butterfly wings beating against a veil. I ended up silently repeating what Galbedir had told me about souls and enchanting - in particular, that the soul was released on a successful enchantment - to myself several times before I could convince myself to continue.
And once I'd gathered my determination, I faced the most difficult part of the task Galbedir had set me: the actual enchanting.
Several hours later, I'd nearly drained my magicka again, my stomach was growling, and there was quite a pile of newly-enchanted scrolls in front of Galbedir. I'd nearly given in to the temptation to ask her for help once or twice, but my dislike of her, along with her look of utter concentration, had given me pause.
Well, in the end I'd managed perfectly well on my own, hadn't I?
I looked at the bracelet I held with pride. The cheap gilt now glimmered with magicka, and it only took a touch of power to read the Rainshield spell I'd embedded into the object.
In truth, I'd wanted to enchant the bracelet with my Detection spell. I most certainly hadn't forgotten what Gelduin had told me - "people will pay large amounts of money for your knowledge" is the kind of thing that tends to stay with you - and as I worked, I'd hit on the idea that enchanting an object might be a good way to circumvent my teaching abilities, or rather the lack thereof. However, I hadn't been able to get the magic to hold in the bracelet at all. My guess had been that it was too complicated for me, or perhaps that the cheap bracelet didn't have enough "simplices" – whatever those were – to hold the spell. In the end I'd opted for the far simpler and, I'd argue, at least as useful spell I'd learned in Vivec.
"Hmm." Galbedir had come up behind me and was looking at the bracelet. "Not bad," she said, sounding grudging. "Really, not bad. You may have a knack for this."
I blinked. "Seriously? But I destroyed, what, six of the soul gems before I caught on-"
"-and a lot of people never manage that spell. Six is... good. As is getting off a successful enchantment only hours in." Galbedir shook her head. "If that wasn't a fluke, Ranis may have had a good idea here after all."
That sounded worrying. "I thought we were just going to go with this until she reconsidered and let me work with Ajira again?" I pointed out.
"That was the plan, but... enchantment's a rare talent, you know. Far rarer and far more lucrative than alchemy." The contempt in Galbedir's voice was palpable.
I had to admit that that was almost certainly true. Nine knew that in my former career I'd often found myself frequenting enchanter's shops and homes in the interest of... ensuring a fair and equal distribution of wealth in modern society, shall we say. Enchanters were relatively likely to own rich robes, extravagantly expensive jewellery, safeboxes full of septims, and similar items that positively called out for a visit from concerned citizens like myself.
In comparison, alchemists only rarely demanded such a balancing of the scales. The few alchemists one did find rubbing shoulders with enchanters, generally by providing potions to the rich, were almost always in possession of proof they have more money than brains – more commonly known as an accreditation in alchemy from the Arcane University. Needless to say, I wasn't going to be boasting one anytime soon.
No, Galbedir was right – all in all, enchanting was a far more profitable business.
And yet...
"But I want to do alchemy." My voice was tiny.
Alchemy had drawn me as long as I could remember. There was something awe-inspiring about the fact that you could create powerful potions from simple, everyday things like flowers and mushrooms and even common foodstuffs. And it was so fascinating, experimenting with the ingredients to try and unlock their secrets, learning the skills you needed to adjust a potion's duration, strengthen one effect or weaken another, balance out toxins to make sure it was safe to consume - all the many tricks any good alchemist had to develop.
True, enchantment might well have such secrets of its own. Enchanting might be a lucrative undertaking, an enchanter might well be more respected than the common alchemist. All the same...
I remembered the whisper of a creature's soul held between my hands, the feel of its futile struggle against the gem that trapped it...
The gem, and my magicka, wrapped around it like strangling vines.
I'd rather brew the most noxious, volatile potion, one with fumes that nearly knocked you out and a tendency to explode if you stirred it just a moment too long or in the wrong direction, than work with that on a regular basis.
"I'm trying to help you, you know," Galbedir snapped. "Y'ffre only knows why, considering how you've been joined at the hip with that Khajiit since arriving. But when Ranis gave you the assignment, I thought that maybe you'd turn out to be some use once away from that little coward's influence-"
So we were going to have the argument we'd been so carefully avoiding after all.
"Ajira is my friend," I retorted. "She's been nothing but good to me and done nothing but help me, even when doing so put her in danger." The thought of Ajira right now, hiding a fugitive just because I'd asked her to, stoked the flames of my anger. "I don't see where you get off calling her a coward!"
Galbedir's laugh was scornful and disbelieving. "Seriously? You should know better than anyone else. Wasn't it you she sent out to collect flowers for her? I heard you got attacked by a kagouti because your precious Ajira was too afraid to perform her own duties."
My fists clenched. It was true that I'd once found Ajira's insistence on sending someone else to gather her ingredients strange myself, but now that I knew the reason behind it that only made me angrier. "What do you know about it? Besides," a flash of memory, "collecting ingredients is the duty of an apothecary, not an alchemist. Ordinarily, Ajira wouldn't be expected to go out and gather them herself... except that you stopped her suppliers, didn't you?"
The smug grin spreading across Galbedir's features made it clear I'd guessed right. For a brief moment, I found myself wishing I'd given in to impulse when I discovered the grand soul gem last week. The loss of some valuable items would take Galbedir down some much-needed pegs.
"I thought she should be taught a lesson about the world. It's cowardly and childish, sitting safely at home and expecting others to go into danger to get what you need. I collect all my own souls, you know."
Even the grand soul? I gulped, suddenly glad I hadn't given in to my larcenous impulses. Anyone who could take down a Daedra on that order was not someone I wanted to tangle with, thank you very much.
"Although..." Galbedir looked as if she'd had a spark of inspiration. I didn't like that expression at all. "Since you're so insistent that it's absolutely fine for Ajira to sit back on her lazy tail and send you or that Jamie to do her work for her, I'm sure you won't mind if I do the same." She gestured towards the pile of powder that had resulted from my earlier efforts. "You've rather depleted my supply of petty souls. Why don't you go out and replenish it? Since you're fine with running those sorts of errands."
"...replenish?" Surely, she didn't mean...
"Go out with some empty gems and trap some souls. Rats, scribs, mudcrabs and kwama foragers all fit into the petty gems. There's an egg mine just south of Balmora, you should be able to find some scribs and foragers near there, or you could take the guild guide to Vivec and hunt some crabs on the shore-"
The idea of returning to Vivec after what had happened last time was worth heavy protest in its own right, but astonishingly, that wasn't my main problem with this suggestion. "You mean... you want me to kill them?" I was almost certain that was what she meant, but found myself desperately hoping I'd got it wrong anyway.
Galbedir gave me an are you sure you weren't dropped on your head as a child? look. I recognised it because I'd spent quite a bit of time over the last few days giving Varvur the same. Having it directed against me smarted. "Of course, kill them! What, do you honestly think you can trap the soul of a creature that's still alive?"
"No," I said weakly. "It's just that..."
That I didn't particulary want to kill some animal that hadn't done anything to me, for one thing, but there was more glaring problem with Galbedir's course of action.
Galbedir apparently followed my meaning, because her eyes narrowed. "Now you're the one being a coward. None of these creatures are even remotely dangerous - mudcrabs are so slow a sleepwalker could outrun them, and scribs are almost tame. The measliest fire spell will put paid to them."
Not even remotely dangerous? Perhaps it was only to be expected that a Daedra slayer would have a rather skewed viewpoint of these things - needless to say, this did not at all fit with my experience of rats on this island. And true, mudcrabs were easy to outdistance, but their pincers looked strong enough I'd still rather not put myself into a position where I had to.
And that didn't even take into account even less harmless wildlife that might be around, such as cliff-racers, wild guar or kagouti, other hazards like naked Nords and their witches, never to mention, oh, the Blight.
"Are you sure you're feeling quite all right?" I asked. "Because I understand that experiences differ, but what you're describing is nowhere near any semblance of reality as I know it. Do you have a fever, maybe? Any hallucinations?"
"Fine," Galbedir said. She was still smiling despite my rejoinder. I had an awful sinking feeling. "I understand completely. It's not an appropriate task at all, is it? It seems you agree with me that this sort of thing is inappropriate to delegate to other guild members. I've been thinking of making a complaint to the guildmistress about Ajira's abuse of her position - I'm sure you'll sign off on it, then?"
I swallowed hard.
Galbedir had trapped me between a rock and a hard place. Either I agreed to go out hunting souls for her (I wasn't sure whether the hunting or the souls was the more distasteful part of that sentence), or she used my unwillingness to do so against Ajira. There was no way I could let that last happen. And I also couldn't explain why I was far more understanding of Ajira's reluctance to go into the wilds since doing so would mean disclosing some very personal information about her past and her family to her worst enemy and then most likely the guildmistress - something my friend was unlikely to thank me for.
Perhaps if I hadn't been so tired, I'd have been able to wriggle out of this somehow - I'd always been good at arguing people into submission. But in my current state, the only option I could see was...
"All right. I'll do it."
"Oh, really?" Galbedir sounded surprised. That smarted. Had she really thought I'd abandon Ajira so easily? "Well then. Do you know a Soultrap spell? No? In that case, I'll just teach it to you now - it's a simple spell, it shouldn't take long to learn. After that, you can get going. Now watch closely."
As Galbedir began to trace symbols in the air, I prayed I'd find a way to get out of this.
"-intentional obstruction!" Galbedir snapped, rage in her eyes.
My eyebrows drew together. "Have you considered you might just be a completely incompetent teacher?"
"Oh?" Galbedir managed to infuse the single syllable with enough contemptuous disbelief for an entire conversation. There was a theatre somewhere in Tamriel missing its star player because she'd chosen to pursue a career in enchanting, I was sure. "In that case, pray explain how exactly you managed to learn the basics of enchanting from me earlier today, something far more complicated than a simple, straightforward Soultrap spell?"
I sputtered. "Simple? Straightforward? If you're a professional enchanter, maybe! For normal people like yours truly-"
"Children learn this spell! Children! I've seen a seven-year-old pick it up in less time than you've spent claiming not to understand the first form-"
"You've taught this to a seven-year-old?" I asked, sidetracked. "A spell whose single intended purpose is to cast it on some poor animal right before killing it in order to capture its soul, and you teach it to children? That doesn't seem just a little inappropriate to you?"
"Stop trying to change the subject!"
"What on earth is going on here?"
I spun around, Galbedir a heartbeat behind. Apparently, we'd both been so engrossed in our argument that neither of us had heard Estirdalin come up the stairs.
The Altmer was frowning heavily. "I hope you realise that we are a professional institution. Our customers and visitors should come away impressed by our expertise, skill, competence and - I reiterate - professionalism. Shouted arguments audible through the entire building do not in any way whatsoever contribute to the sort of ambience we strive for, and this one has gone on for long enough I think Ranis is considering knocking you both back down to Associate."
I shrugged at the threat. If being an Associate meant I could work with Ajira again, I'd happily take it. Galbedir, however, blanched. Rank-obsessed, then. Not a surprise.
"It's her fault!" she hissed, far quieter than before. "She's trying to weasel out of her guild duties!"
"Oh?"
"She used up some petty soul gems earlier, so I asked her to fill replacements. A perfectly reasonable request when you consider the sort of duties certain other people are assigning to Associates! But she," Galbedir jabbed a finger at me, as if Estirdalin could possibly be confused as to who she was referring to, "is pretending not to understand-"
"Pretending? I-"
"If you would let Galbedir finish, Adryn? Thank you."
I subsided. Grudgingly.
"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted," Galbedir shot me an evil look, "she's pretending not to understand a simple Soultrap spell. We've been at this for nearly an hour, and she's still asking me to repeat the basic structure, every single one of her attempts fizzles out straight away! And that when she managed a successful enchantment with hardly any instruction this morning! It's obvious she's not even trying to learn. She just wants to get out of her assignment so she can keep playing with flowers instead of doing real work."
Without even looking at me, Estirdalin held up her hand. My mouth, which had been in the process of forming itself around an angry retort without any input from my brain, snapped shut.
"Thank you, Galbedir, for that... cogent summary. Adryn, if I may have your perspective?"
I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I couldn't let Galbedir's accusations stand, but somehow I didn't think her angry yelling had impressed Estirdalin much. Time to make a better impression and drive it home just how wrong the Bosmer was.
"I know Galbedir claims it's a simple spell, but I swear, it just don't make sense." Despite my attempt at keeping calm, I could feel my frustration seep into my voice. "I've been trying my hardest to learn it. Yes, I admit I don't want to go out hunting souls, but if this is what the guild requires of me I'll of course do my best." A muffled snort from Galbedir's direction meant that was probably laying it on too thick. "It honestly didn't occur to me to pretend," I added, more honestly.
To tell the truth, I wished it had occurred to me. As Galbedir had pointed out, it was an excellent way of getting out of going back into the wilds and attempting to kill dangerous things for their souls...
...never to mention that if I'd been faking, it would make her repeated forceful explanations of how simple this spell was a lot easier on my pride.
But no. Resigned to my fate, I'd given the spell my all, with no success. My new trick with my Detection spell hadn't worked either - even 'seeing' the spell hadn't made the concept make any more sense in my head. I hated failure, and the last hour had contained a little too much of it for my liking. The fact that Galbedir found this spell so simple she clearly considered it inconceivable I didn't understand it just rubbed salt in the wound.
Estirdalin was frowning. I gulped. Was that a 'thinking hard' frown or an 'I don't believe you, let's tell Ranis Athrys you were slacking off?' frown?
"So you say you're genuinely unable to cast it?"
I recognised that tone. It was intellectual curiosity. Thinking hard, then. I wasn't doomed yet.
"Exactly," I answered. "I don't know, maybe Galbedir isn't a very good teacher." Estirdalin's frown deepened, and I hastily added, "Or maybe this morning was just a fluke, or- or something!"
"Oh, I don't think so," Estirdalin waved my explanations away. I stiffened. "But I also believe you're struggling with the spell."
"Really? It's so simple-" Galbedir had perked up when it looked as though Estirdalin was agreeing with her and was obviously not ready to give up so quickly.
"Simple for you, my dear. But different people have different skills and inclinations. And although it's true Soultrap is considered one of the easier spells generally... Adryn, may I ask you some questions?"
I winced. Submit to a second interrogation the likes of the one I'd experienced right after joining? Only this morning I'd have said I'd never voluntarily do such a thing. But when the alternative was Galbedir's slander...
"Sure, go ahead."
Estirdalin nodded her thanks. "I believe that when we spoke before, you said you were quite good at Mysticism." We both ignored the scoff from Galbedir. "Can you tell me more about your experiences learning spells from the school?"
"Well, I actually only knew the one detection spell at the time, but it's one of the ones I use most often and people have always said I'm unusually good with it. It doesn't take much magicka, and," I remembered Gelduin and the Blighted guar, "I'm able to get information from it other people can't. I learned it from a book a few years ago. It took me ages to get it down, I always blamed it on the author..."
After a few minutes, Galbedir turned back to her work with a disparaging sound. Estirdalin, however, kept listening to me intently, occasionally prompting me with another question.
With her help, a disquieting picture began to emerge.
I'd never had an easy time learning any Mysticism spell. The complete block I seemed to have around the Soultrap spell was new, but I remembered how close I'd been to quitting by the time I'd managed to pick up my detection spell... and I'd struggled to learn that teleportation spell from Ervesa. I still remembered the dubious expression on her face, suspected she'd also contemplated declaring me unteachable.
The contrast to other schools was stark. The Firebite spell I'd learned from Arrille just after arriving, the rain shield I'd bought at the Vivec guildhall, the various illusions Ingerte had taught me not long after we met, Sosia's healing spell, today's introduction to enchanting... I'd been very quick to learn all, quick enough that people remarked on it. Even my water walking spell hadn't given me anywhere near as much trouble as the Mysticism spells, and I'd only been a child at the time.
Add to that my failure at teaching Gelduin my detection spell a few days ago. I'd blamed it on my own shortcomings as a teacher, but I'd explained quite a few alchemical concepts to Ingerte over the years and she'd followed well enough.
After I finished, Estirdalin was silent for a long time.
"Well?" I prompted.
"I have an idea as to what might be happening here. However, I'd like to confirm it before I say anything. I'll need to take you through some practical exercises, Adryn-"
"Could you do that somewhere else?" Galbedir interrupted. "Some of us have work to do, you know."
Estirdalin gave Galbedir a long look. "I think you forget your place, Apprentice." Her voice was mild, but Galbedir flinched and ducked her head. "That said... it is true that there is more space downstairs. And I may need to consult with Marayn or Masalinie, or certain books. Come along, Adryn."
Downstairs...
Something nagged at me. There'd been a reason I'd wanted to stay downstairs earlier, hadn't there? A reason beyond dislike of Galbedir and wanting to keep working with Ajira. Something I'd felt I needed to keep an eye on, something to do with... last night?
Yes, last night, something had happened last night. It was oddly hard to bring up my memory of yesterday now, but as I concentrated the memory came closer-
"Now if you please, Adryn."
My focus shattered under Estirdalin's frosty tone. I gave a sheepish apology and hurried down the stairs.
"A learning disability." Estirdalin delivered her verdict.
For a moment, my mind was completely blank. "A... what?"
The afternoon thus far had been frustrating, but all the same I thought we'd been making progress. True, we'd managed to expand the litany of spells I was apparently incapable of with Spell Absorption. Apparently it was meant to mimic the ability of the Atronach-born - I'd had to take Estirdalin at her word for that, because it had made just as little sense as Soultrap. And my flat refusal (in my opinion, justified) to learn Recall had been met by a deeply humiliating interrogation by Estirdalin into precisely how my previous attempts at teleportation spells had gone wrong. She'd been far more interested in that than the fact that I could apparently do more in a single Detection spell than most people in three, which I found distinctly unfair.
And, lest one forget - how could one forget? - all this was occurring in the middle of the Mages' Guild common room, where every other guild member or passing visitor could stop to gawk at my failure.
But I'd learned the last spell we'd tried, hadn't I? True, it had taken a while - an unusually long one, judging by Teleportation Girl's expression - until I got the hang of Telekinesis, but I'd managed it in the end. I figured that meant Estirdalin was close to isolating the problem. Some fundamental misconception I had about how the school worked, perhaps, which she could now point out. Some basic lesson I'd missed, whose lack had formed a hole in the foundation of every Mysticism spell I'd ever cast.
Something that could be fixed.
"Think of it this way," Estirdalin was saying now. "People can be crippled in different ways physically, yes? Ranging from the complete paralysis of a broken back to a weak knee that gives out under stress, from a bad case of rockjoint leaving the fingers forever unable to nock an arrow to someone struck with palsy from birth. Sometimes it has major effects, sometimes only as slight, as isolated a thing as a halting tongue or a weak grasp. So it is with the mind. There are the idiots, but there are also those who simply lack one thing - the brilliant thinker who still struggles to distinguish ayem and geth, the incisive scholar who cannot be trusted with the simplest of calculations... the mages who are perfectly competent in every other area but will never be able to cast anything but the simplest spell in one school, no matter how much effort they put in."
The look she shot me was sympathetic, but not nearly sympathetic enough for the fireball she'd dropped on me.
"But-"
I'm smart, I almost protested, but managed to reword it into something a little less embarrassing just in time.
"But everyone's been saying that I cast those spells I do know really well," I argued. "I've had several offers to learn my detection spell, and she," I jerked my head towards the curiously watching Teleportation Girl, "said earlier that I was quite deft and efficient with telekinesis for someone who'd only just learned it. How is that possible?"
"Actually," Estirdalin said, cruelly crushing my hopes, "this makes it more likely, not less. In general, learning in a magical school progresses along a set path - some students may be quicker, some may be slower, the milestones may be reached in a slightly different order, but overall the stages are very uniform and there are few exceptions. But it's well-documented that when it comes to magical disabilities, unusual effects not usually seen at that stage and uncontrolled flares of power are common. I sometimes correspond with Irlav Jarol on guild business - he's a lecturer at the Arcane University and from what he's said there's a student there who is a clear example-"
"Wait, is this student a Khajiit?" Teleportation Girl interrupted. "One of my cousins is a student at the university, he mentioned her in a letter. Apparently in one of her Destruction lessons half the class ended up at the healers'-"
"Her? I've got a friend who's a guard in that area, she said after the first time that girl tried summoning Daedra half her unit went on strike demanding hazard pay!"
How lovely that a random customer felt the need to weigh in here, I thought, teeth gritted. And that Estirdalin hadn't felt the need to death-glare either him or Teleportation Girl into submission.
"Actually, that rings a bell - Mazi-something, wasn't it? Mazila or Mazoga or something like that, would be in her third year right now? My brother-in-law is an architect in Imperial City, and apparently ever since she started classes their business has almost doubled due to all the repairs. Collatinus says he almost feels he should be paying her-"
Correction: random customers, plural, weighing in. A parade of clowns indeed - it was almost like the circus.
"Oh," Marayn sounded startled, "that sounds familiar, in one of the university dispatches Archmage Traven mentioned-"
"All right, all right," I said loudly, "you've all made your point! You can stop now!"
"You see," Estirdalin, apparently selectively hard of hearing, decided to hammer it in, "such fluctuations and... unpredictable effects are quite common in cases such as yours."
I heard that plural and I resented it. After all, unlike this unfortunate Khajiit in Imperial City, it was only teleportation spells that blew up on me to quite that extent. A fact I was sure I'd find myself grateful for once the humiliation wore off. That should only take another thousand years or so, after all - hardly any time at all.
Actually, come to think of it...
"From what you're saying, it sounds like this Mazi-whatever has difficulties with all her spellcasting," I said, proving that I am capable of being distracted by intellectual curiosity in the most extreme situations. (Ingerte would have said no further proof was needed after the incident involving the rooftop entrance to House Shatter-Shield and the impromptu experiments in gravity, but thankfully no witnesses to that occasion were present right now.) "But for me it's only Mysticism. Is that common?"
"No, in fact," Estirdalin sounded thoughtful - I clearly wasn't the only one easily distracted. "In general it affects multiple schools. However, I did some research on the matter earlier..."
She picked up a large book from the table and began leafing through it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Master Friend The Guard and Mistress Brother-in-law The Architect moving away hurriedly. I sniffed. Anyone who fled at the sight of books did not, in my opinion, deserve to have any input. On anything, really, but certainly on my ability to learn Mysticism or the lack thereof.
About halfway through the book, Estirdalin found what she was looking for.
"Ledd's Syndrome. A known phenomenon, it turns out, but very rare. The last recorded case was almost a hundred years ago, and the one before that not long after the start of the Third Era. Both Dunmer, as well - it may be unique to your race. And the description fits exactly: unpredictable destinations in Teleportation spells, unusual effects in all of the detection sub-school, inability to learn Soultrap or any absorption spells... unusual effects in telekinesis spells as well," she read out, "which along with the detection spells use far too little magicka, showing that the disorder must involve an inability to form crucial parts of the Mystic spell matrix." She looked up. "That's why I taught you Telekinesis in the end. I wanted to be certain of my suspicion."
Well, there went any last hope Estirdalin might be mistaken.
"Can I borrow that book?" I asked. Who knew, there might be something about how to compensate...
But Estirdalin was shaking her head. "I'm afraid it's from the restricted library - I couldn't in good conscience let you access it before you reach Conjurer status. Besides, there's very little beyond what I've already told you."
After that statement, she closed the book with a little more haste than I felt truly appropriate, hiding the cover as she did so. Probably worried I'd try to break into this 'restricted library' and abscond with the thing if I knew the title. I'd be offended, but then again exactly that had been going through my head.
It did smart. A private library for higher-ranking guild members which us common rabble didn't have access to was bad enough, but surely an exception could be considered in this case? True, Estirdalin had said there was nothing else of use in the book, but perhaps she'd missed something. Considering more information might mean the difference between a successful career in the Mages' Guild and failure, or - for that matter - between teleporting to the place I wanted and teleporting five miles above the place I wanted...
I suspected Ranis Athrys would be happy with the outcome of this afternoon. After all, I now had a reason to try to make Conjurer as soon as I could.
Even later, I was still reeling from the whole thing. My pride was wounded, of course, but more than that...
Being smart was how I survived, was who I was. Back in Windhelm, I'd been the one who'd come up with the ideas, I'd been the one who'd see a back door in a seemingly inescapable situation. I'd always known that although I'd never be able to fight my way out of trouble, I could think my way out, and that was so much better.
And being smart had always translated to being able to pick up magic quickly, both theory and practice. I remembered Ingerte's admiration of how quickly I'd learned those illusions she knew, her envy of my water-walking, even - bitterly - her impressed whistle when I'd showed off my Detection spell, how she'd claimed it quite beyond her abilities. (Her ignorance, a small voice said now, was probably the only reason she didn't realise it took me far, far too long to learn.) It was a fact of life like my height, my temper, my hair colour, my tendency to jump into things without quite thinking them through - I was good at magic.
And suddenly, that had been taken away.
What else was I taking for granted, what else was I relying on, that wasn't true? Was I really as good of an alchemist as I believed? Ajira thought so, but Ajira was self-taught herself, and I hadn't known her nearly as long as it felt. Maybe I'd fooled her into believing I was skilled, through a combination of flukes and unfamiliar techniques. What if-
A flicker out of the corner of my eye, coupled with a sudden sense of awareness-
I let my magicka snap out to engulf the leather ball speeding towards me. As it stopped to hang in midair, I was very glad I'd kept my telekinesis spell going.
"Hey!" I protested, letting the ball drop to the ground. "I wasn't paying attention!"
"But you still caught the ball," Teleportation Girl, who I was tempted to mentally rename Bombarder-of-innocent-Adryns, responded. "Without paying attention, or looking at it, when you've known that spell for, what. Two hours?"
My eyes narrowed. "You don't have to pretend I'm good at this to make me feel better, you know. " I could hear the self-pity in my voice and was briefly thankful it was late enough the guildhall was - finally - nearly deserted. "Estirdalin was perfectly clear earlier."
Teleportation Girl sighed, putting the ball on a side table. "So it takes you a little longer to learn spells. So what? It's what you do with the spell that's important, and your telekinesis spell is really good already, your detection-"
She was giving voice to the same justifications that had been spinning around my head all afternoon - but I was good at detection spells, I was apparently also good at telekinesis spells, a little difficulty in learning them surely meant nothing...
Somehow, hearing them out loud just made clear how flimsy they were. A little difficulty learning them, really? I'd proven myself completely unable to make head or tail of the majority of the spells in the school, and then one of the few I did know was more dangerous to myself than anyone else. Who was to say my detection spell wouldn't blow up in my face next? Considering the stories of that Khajiit at the Arcane University, anything was in the realm of possibility once magical disabilities came into the picture.
"Masalinie? Friend Adryn?"
Letting my telekinesis spell lapse, I turned away from Teleportation Girl's admittedly well-meaning attempt to make me feel better in order to face Ajira.
"Ajira is very sorry, Masalinie, but she needs a word with friend Adryn," my friend continued.
"Go ahead. Maybe you'll get through to her, she's certainly not listening to me. And," Teleportation Girl's eyes unfocused, as though there was something hovering in midair only she could see, "it feels like Iniel's got someone coming through from Sadrith Mora, anyway."
I followed Ajira into the alchemy lab, wondering what this was about. An attempt at cheering me up through alchemical experimentation? I wouldn't say no, but judging by the angle of Ajira's ears and the bristling of her tail, whatever Ajira had to discuss was nothing so pleasant.
"Friend Adryn," Ajira said in a low voice, coming to a halt in front of the desk in the far corner of the lab. There was a sack tied to one of its legs. I frowned at it. The sight niggled at my memory...
"What are we to do with the statue?"
"The statue?" I said blankly. "What-"
Memory came crashing back. It felt rather like being hit by a very heavy anvil dropping from a great height.
"It. I. I forgot." My voice was a croak. "How- how could I forget, after-"
After the entirety of yesterday spent tracking down a specimen, finally finding one in that dreadful cellar. After the horror of last night, in Shor's name! This morning I'd been close to hysterical thanks to that statue. If you'd asked me, I'd have said its horrifying existence was branded in my memory...
...and yet, over the course of the day my recollection of it had vanished. Galbedir's introduction to enchanting, then all the fuss about my Mysticism skills, all of it had occupied my attention while last night and the extremely dangerous magical object that had caused it had slowly faded away into nothingness in my mind.
And I hadn't even noticed.
"It does tie in with what the honoured Varvur Sarethi said," Ajira said, sounding thoughtful. "He also recounted forgetting about his statue even when there was every reason he should have remembered."
"That's-" Yes, he had said something along those lines, my slowly recovering memory provided as if in futile apology for its disastrous failure. I hadn't thought of it, I should have thought of it when I offered to guard the damn thing-
Distantly, as if through water, I heard the rush of expelled magicka I'd come to identify as a teleportation spell, followed by Teleportation Girl starting, "Welcome to Balmora..." I spared a moment to be thankful she was distracted. The entrance to the alchemy lab was right next to the guild guide platform, and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I'd had quite enough audiences to humiliating moments for the day, or possibly the century, thank you very much.
"Ajira suggests we go to the Temple immediately," Ajira continued. "She knows the honoured Varvur Sarethi believes bringing it to an Armiger is the best chance to clear him, but it is clearly far too dangerous to keep another night."
"You don't say." Cold sweat had collected on my forehead; I wiped it away with a sleeve. "Yes, sure, bring it to the Temple, toss it in the Odai, throw it off a cliff, as long as it you get it away from me-"
"Adryn? Are you in there?"
I blinked in surprise, then turned to face the person standing in the doorway.
Ervesa looked much as she had last week. The main differences were her clothes - giant insect armour having been swapped out for a simple linen shirt, the only decoration a triangle with a letter in each corner embroidered onto its breast - and her expression. The constantly smiling Armiger I'd met on Turdas, who cheated at cards as well as I did and told jokes about her god, looked downright grim.
Ervesa was here.
I didn't think I'd ever been so grateful to see anyone in my life.
"Thank the Nine you're here," I told Ervesa with perfect sincerity. "We have a bit of a... problem. A statue-shaped problem, which I was hoping you knew something about."
"Ajira and friend Adryn were just discussing what to do with the object, as they found it is far too dangerous to keep," Ajira added. "Perhaps the honoured Armiger can assist?"
"If it's the same as the ones I'm familiar with, I can indeed... Ajira, is it?" Ervesa gave Ajira a brief smile. The expression made her look far more like the woman who'd saved me from a kagouti last week. "I'm Ervesa Romandas, and I have to admit I'm hoping it's the same. It's bad enough we have the one, we really don't need another type of extremely dangerous magical statues around."
"Well, ours certainly fulfills the 'extremely dangerous' part of that description," I said with a shudder. "And there's at least one other like it."
"Really? Where- actually, tell me later. Let's have a look at the one you have first."
Ervesa didn't even blink when we showed her the sack tied to the alchemy table. Instead, she reached into a small bag at her side and pulled out gloves, tongs and a sheet of cloth, all shining with the magicka of strong enchantment. Then she turned to the wrapped statue with the air of someone tasked with trimming the fur of a live snow bear. Watching her tug cautiously at the ropes with the tongs, I remembered the way I'd picked up the statue with my bare hands yesterday and found myself feeling rather queasy.
"Yes, it's the same," she said when the red stone was finally visible. "I'll take it to Vivec to be safely disposed of."
I felt as if a great weight had fallen from my chest. "Thank you so much-"
But Ervesa wasn't done yet. "I need to know. How exactly did you come by it, and what made you realise it was dangerous?"
"Well..."
The story took some time to relate, long enough that I'd have suggested moving to the common area for a more comfortable environment if not for the statue. Near the start we gained an audience in the form of a wide-eyed Teleportation Girl. Thinking about our guildmistress' likely reaction to the story, I could only hope that she wouldn't blab... especially when I mentioned the fugitive accused of murder currently sleeping on Ajira's floor.
I did consider leaving Varvur out of it, but I wasn't a good liar at the best of times, and with him as integral to the whole story as he was I knew there was no way I'd be able to come up with anything plausible. Besides, the whole reason we had the statue in the first place was to prove that he'd been magically coerced, wasn't it? Hard to do that if we never even mentioned him.
It seemed to be working. True, Ervesa's face had been something of a picture when Varvur's name came up, but she hadn't gone running off to arrest him. Overall, she'd seemed far more concerned by the details of exactly where I'd found the statue and exactly what it had done.
"Well," she said when I'd finished. "I have to say this is even more serious than I'd thought, and that's saying something. As a matter of fact, I think the Temple may owe you major thanks. We've only ever discovered these statues in isolation before and haven't been able to track down how they were being distributed. It sounds like you've uncovered a genuine conspiracy in Ald'ruhn. Maybe this is the opening we need to track them down to their source."
I smiled for what felt like the first time that day. The Temple may owe you major thanks, that was a good phrase. That was a phrase with septims in it. If I managed to not only escape unscathed from this disaster, but get my hands on a reward...
"I'll have to see about a reward later," Ervesa confirmed my hopes, making my smile grow even wider. "For now, though..." She frowned, clearly thinking hard. "I'll send someone to make sure, but since the statue was only here for less than a day I don't think this area should need to be cleansed."
Say what?
I found myself abruptly and brutally torn out of my daydreams of what reward the Temple might offer for such a service. I hadn't realised the Mages' Guild needing to be 'cleansed' was a possibility. However, I was relatively sure that whatever cleansing entailed, Ranis Athrys would not be happy with it... or happy with Ajira and me for making it necessary.
"That's- that's good news," I managed after a moment.
"Yes," Ervesa agreed. "Somehow, I don't think your guildmates would be very happy if we had to close the Mages' Guild for two days straight."
...or maybe Ranis would skip straight past 'not happy' and straight into murderous rage. Judging by Ajira's horrified expression, she agreed with me.
"No... I don't think they would. In fact... could you do me a favour? If it does turn out that this 'cleansing' has to happen after all, and if you visit in a few days and Ajira and I are mysteriously missing, could you check if any unmarked graves have suddenly sprung up in the vicinity?"
"Really?" Teleportation Girl threw in before Ervesa could respond. "Unmarked graves? You think Ranis would leave a body? I've seen her Destruction spells, you know. But I promise to very carefully inspect any ash heaps that suddenly turn up around the guild, if it helps." There was suppressed laughter in her voice, proving that she had not managed to grasp the seriousness of the matter.
"Ahem," Ervesa said, but she was smiling too. Well, I thought with all the charity I could muster, she didn't know Ranis Athrys. She had no idea how dire the situation was. "As I was saying. I don't think this building needs to be cleansed. However, I will need you to come to Vivec with me."
I hadn't thought that Ervesa could come up with anything even more immediately threatening than us accidentally forcing the Mages' Guild to close - and Ranis' reaction to the same - but clearly I'd underestimated her.
"...Vivec?" I asked warily.
My last venture into the city had not ended well at all, could in fact be deemed the ultimate cause of this whole situation. I hadn't been planning on returning anytime soon if I could help it.
"To undergo a cleansing," Ervesa explained patiently. "Although the statues leave traces on their surroundings, it's secondary to the effect they have on people who come into contact with them or sleep near them. It's... like an infection, I suppose you could say, one that progresses in stages. Nightmares, initially, but it eventually progresses to black-outs, strange behaviour, then..."
Ervesa trailed off. I was perfectly all right with this, as I didn't particularly want to hear what came next.
"The malign influence can be removed, but currently we're only set up to do that at the High Fane in Vivec," she finished.
"If the esteemed Armiger will permit Ajira a question?"
All eyes turned towards my friend. She shuffled her feet, then went on. "It is not only friend Adryn who has been exposed to these items. In particular, as we have discussed the honoured Varvur Sarethi has been badly affected by one of them. Should he not go to the High Fane as well?"
Ervesa bit her lip. "Honestly? You're right. He should. However, I'm worried that given his current... delicate legal status..." I blinked at Ervesa in surprise - that right there was a euphemism worthy of the Thieves' Guild, "travelling with him would create problems. I'll send someone to escort him later, but it's far more urgent to take the statue where it can be safely destroyed and get Adryn cleansed."
"Wait a minute." I'd been following Ervesa's logic up until the last part. "Why me? I mean, obviously you need to get rid of that thing as soon as possible," I shot the statue a look and had to bite back bile, "but I was only... only exposed for a single night. Varvur was sleeping next to one for weeks and actually killed someone thanks to it. Why am I the one who has to be dragged to Vivec as soon as possible?"
"Ah. By your accounts this Varvur has been away from the influence for nearly a week and is beginning to recover. Although he does need to be cleansed soon, especially because any re-exposure at this point would be... bad," judging by Ervesa's careful intonation, I suspected this was another euphemism on the level of delicate legal status, "it isn't immediately urgent. You, on the other hand..."
"Me?" I felt my stomach sink. Judging by Ervesa's expression, I wasn't going to like this explanation.
"Judging by your story of how you couldn't stay awake last night, the statue has already started exerting control over your mind. And your reports of the statue moving to be closer to you, of its expression changing... I've heard such things before, but only from people in very advanced stages - after the black-outs begin to happen. It's very worrying to me that you reached that point in under a day. I think you're affected strongly enough that you might find yourself controlled the next time you sleep, and I'm not sure removing the statue from your vicinity is going to be enough to stop that. You need to be cleansed of the influence at Vivec as soon as possible."
I felt as if someone had reached inside me and scooped out all my insides, leaving me hollow and about to collapse.
"The next time I sleep? That's all right, then." I said. My voice seemed very far away. "Because I'm never going to sleep again. I've just decided."
"Adryn-"
Ervesa reached out as though to put a hand on my shoulder claws digging into my shoulder from behind-
I flinched back as memories of my nightmare the night before screamed through my head. She sighed and withdrew her hand.
"The cleansing will remove the corruption, I promise," she said, voice quiet but intense. "But we have to go to Vivec now."
For some strange reason, I found myself having no further objections.
Ervesa shepherded me through Vivec to the High Fane, sticking to me like a burr the whole way - and that despite the fact that the journey took rather longer than she'd initially been expecting.
We'd hardly stepped off the teleportation platform in the Mages' Guild and waved away a puzzled Cassia when Ervesa turned to me and said, "All right, now if you just cast the Almsivi Intervention spell I taught you-"
I'd almost forgotten Ervesa was the one to blame for That Spell and all that had come of it.
My reaction was both forceful and immediate. "You have got to be joking."
"What?" Ervesa rocked back on her heels, clearly taken aback. "You cast it perfectly well last time, apart from us accidentally ending up in Suran... oh, if you're worried about that happening again, I know for a fact casting from here will get us to the High Fane-"
Spoken like someone who probably didn't even know what a magical learning disability was, I thought with a brief twist of envy. When I realised where my thoughts were going, I pushed the feeling back. Getting jealous of other people over things that couldn't be changed was a recipe to misery and was, quite frankly, beneath me.
All the same, I'd better disabuse Ervesa of any idea that we'd be taking the short and easy route.
"Oh, accidentally ending up at a different Temple is definitely not at the top of my list of concerns," I retorted. "Accidentally ending up in the manor of a very humourless nobleman who looks rather dimly on intruders, I can say from experience that that's a far more worrying prospect... but the top of the list definitely and absolutely has to be accidentally ending up several miles in mid-air, and since that's what happened the last time I cast this spell I hope you'll forgive me if I'd rather walk!"
There was a moment of silence as Ervesa just stared at me.
"Several miles in mid-air?" she eventually repeated, and I remembered that when I told her how we'd come by the statue, in order to make a long story at least a little shorter I'd left out all details regarding exactly how Varvur and I met.
"I'd almost managed to repress the memories, until you forced me to dig them up again. Yes, several miles in mid-air. I wouldn't be surprised if Varvur will end up afraid of heights for the rest of his life. Oh, speaking of which," I found myself briefly distracted from being indignant, "I really meant it when I said I owe you for that amulet. If I hadn't had it on me, both of us would be a smear on the ground somewhere in the West Gash."
"I... I'm glad it helped." Ervesa said weakly. "But - seriously in midair? That's not supposed to be possible."
Oh, if I had ten drakes for every time I'd heard that in the last few days... and in all honesty, I wasn't sure whether to be happy this afternoon had finally given me an explanation for my unprecedented ability to bungle teleportation spells or despondent at what that explanation was.
"Apparently I have a learning disability, to do with Mysticism. 'Ledd's Syndrome', I think Estirdalin called it.Really rare, apparently, but I guess I'm just lucky that way. Can't cast half the spells, and the other half are prone to going... awry." All right, despondent it was.
"Really? I wasn't expecting- that's interesting." Ervesa paused for a long moment, looking thoughtful. I was about to demand what, exactly, was so interesting about my misery when she visibly gathered herself. "Well, we need to get going. It sounds like teleportation is out of the question, so in that case we'll catch a ride on a gondola. Come on, the dock for the Foreign Quarter is this way."
I'd been worried about a repeat of my last attempt at trying to find my way around Vivec, but Ervesa swept along corridors and down stairs with the ease of a native. In what felt like no time at all, we were seated in a long flat boat whose captain was steering it through the maze of boardwalks and boats with surprising speed - helped, I suspected, by the purple glow of magicka around the stern. When I craned my neck, trying to figure out how it worked (my guess was either a modified water-walking or shield spell, but which one and how did he get it to propel us forward?) I was met with a glare and spate of Dunmeris.
"He says it's a trade secret," Ervesa translated. Her face was just a little too even, and I suspected that what the man had said had been a great deal less polite.
Fine. No free exchange of information between two comrades in the fellowship of mages, then. See if I'd tell him about my Rainshield spell.
Ervesa continued pulling me along when we reached the High Fane, giving me only a brief glimpse of the two spires reaching into the heavens, the palace beyond them, the- was that giant rock actually floating?
I was on the verge of contemplating a second attempt at sight-seeing later (arguably an initial symptom of madness, if you considered how the last one went) when we stopped in front of a low door adorned with a brass plaque just past the entrance. As Ervesa knocked, I read: Dileno Lloran, Disciple of Vivec.
My first thought - that this set-up looked like it belonged to someone rather important - was quickly confirmed. The tall, severe-looking woman seated at a desk in the room we entered might have been wearing robes plainer than mine, but she wore them with the unmistakeable air of a religious devotee who knows her choice in clothing makes her morally superior. It was an air I'd learned to recognise early in my time at Kynareth's orphanage, and I found myself a little amused to encounter it again here. It seemed some things didn't change much between religions.
"Ah. Tathavis Almsivi-lloru, Ervesa nidresu-" the woman's eyes flicked over to me and my blank expression, and she shifted smoothly into Tamrielic. "I'd like your report, if you would."
A second point in favour of my theory that a "Disciple of Vivec" was a rather high rank: the way the woman effortlessly took control of the situation. Only minutes later found the statue sitting on the floor inside a gleaming nimbus of magicka, Ervesa perched on a chair in front of Lloran's desk being debriefed, and me being bustled off by a junior priestess. I'd have rather liked to stay in order to watch the statue be destroyed with my own eyes, and Ervesa had protested that she wanted to accompany me (proof of a highly over-developed sense of responsibility, I thought, since there were so many bigger worries right now), but it was no use. The experience was a little like being faced with a natural disaster shaped like a woman - your only hope was to hold on as tight as you could and work out where you'd ended up after she was a safe distance away.
"This way, please," the novice prompted.
With a sigh, I followed her down the corridor. Apparently I hadn't reached a safe distance quite yet.
Several hours later found me trailing after the novice again. A sufficiently flighty observer might think that we'd spent the whole period wandering through the maze of corridors that made up the lower levels of the High Fane. I did have to admit would be well within the realm of possibility; let's just say that I was glad I had a guide, as I felt my other only option would be to starve to death and haunt the underworks, unable to find my way out even to the afterlife. That said, some changes had occurred in the interim. Among others, I was clad in an undyed wool robe (with the unfortunate suspicion that I'd never see the clothes I'd been wearing originally again) and my hair was wet.
Apparently spiritual cleansing functioned much like earthly cleansing, or should I say the cleansing of earth? This version of it had definitely involved me making close acquaintances with a large round pool of milky water that smelled strongly of minerals. The temperature would probably have been scalding for anyone other than a Dunmer, and I had to say I was really coming to appreciate the way Morrowind handled water temperature. I didn't think I'd had a properly hot bath in my entire time in Skyrim.
Really, it might have qualified as pleasant experience overall, certainly a welcome change from trying to see to my daily ablutions with a bucket of water and a Firebite spell in the tiny washing alcove off the guild sleeping area... except that there had been something else in that chamber. Something that left the air so heavy with magicka it was almost impossible to breathe, raised goosebumps on my skin, had me twitching and jerking around because I thought I'd seen a glowing shape rise from the water out of the corner of my eye...
...filled my ears with a low humming that seemed to spring more from my mind than my ears, one that drowned out the whispers I hadn't even realised I'd still been hearing.
The power of Vivec, they said. Well, it had made me wonder about this god. I certainly couldn't recall feeling anything like that banked power in any shrine to the Nine.
Up ahead, the novice turned her head to make sure I was still following. On discovering she hadn't managed to lose me she looked, I felt, inappropriately disappointed. I answered with a glare.
And that had been the other reason I'd prefer to forget about the whole cleansing experience: the audience.
The, if you asked me, wholly unnecessary audience. Sure, there had been chanting and spell-casting and drawing runes and all the other hallmarks of a major magical ritual but, I ask you, would it have been so hard to do it with me behind a curtain?
More to the point, I'd asked her. At length. The answer hadn't changed, did however come delivered with an increasingly shorter temper but longer digressions on cultural relativism with respect to nudity taboos, in particular how Morrowind culture was clearly superior to all others in this regard. This had included a lengthy diatribe about how preferring not to display certain parts of one's body to all and sundry proved one was ashamed of one's natural state and hence deeply spiritually flawed. I'd risen to the bait, and...
...suffice it to say that I didn't think we were going to be friends.
"Here we are."
I looked up to see the novice had led me back to Lloran's office. She gave a contemptuous sniff as she looked me over. I gave her a glare back, but my heart wasn't in it. I'd secretly worried that after our altercations, she'd abandon me in the maze, and 'lost spirit stuck on Mundus' just wasn't particularly high on my list of prospective careers. However, I remembered that this office was just a short walk down from one of the entrances. Even I should be able to escape from here.
"Come in."
After meeting with Ervesa's superior one more time, of course.
The office had changed significantly since I'd left it. Oh, I am certain some people would disagree with this assessment. They might point out the fact that the furnishings remained the same, that no structural changes had happened, that even small decorations were still in their prior location. Of course, said people would be fools. Such trivialities as tables, chairs, wall-hangings and carpets being entirely unchanged vanished into nothingness before the following: the statue was gone, Ervesa was gone, and the high-ranking Temple member who'd previously clearly thought of me as little more than a mer-shaped inconvenience had her full attention fixed on me.
"Have a seat. Your name is Adryn, correct?"
As I slid into the chair I'd last seen Ervesa in only hours before, I found myself feeling distinctly betrayed. When we'd arrived I'd been packed off before introductions, which meant someone must have told her my name. From where I was standing, the only possible culprit was Ervesa.
I told myself I was being irrational – this woman was clearly Ervesa's superior, after all, and considering that by the sounds of it I'd done the Temple a serious favour there was no reason this woman should do me any harm – but the feeling stayed. I didn't like powerful people knowing who I was, especially when I didn't know what else Ervesa had told the woman.
The woman who was apparently waiting for me to confirm my name, eyebrow raised in question. I gulped. There was something rather ominous about her air of polite patience.
"Um, that's correct. I'm Adryn."
"And your clan name?" The feeling that Lloran's patience was finite and I would not like it when we reached its end intensified.
"I don't have one." For the sake of self-preservation, I throttled the exasperation that always rose in me at this line of questioning. (It wasn't even the first time today!) "I never knew my parents, and there isn't anyone I could ask."
A simple explanation of a very complicated childhood right there.
"Really." For a moment, the feeling of impending doom hung in the air. Then it vanished. I guessed with some relief that Lloran had decided I was being honest. "A tragedy, to be severed from your ancestors so." She bowed her head. "You have my deepest condolences." Her mournful tone wouldn't be out of place at a funeral.
"Uh, thanks?" I hazarded, rather unsettled by this reaction. Sure, being an orphan with no family had never been a walk in the park, but I liked to think I'd done reasonably well for myself. And in my experience, the "look at the poor deprived parentless child" reactions die down once you reach teenage years. This was really quite excessive.
What was worse was that the novice had reacted in the same way after I told her I couldn't give her any names of my ancestors for her spells... and that had been after the heated discussion on comparative theology. Pity is never a pleasant thing to find yourself on the receiving end of, but pity from someone who you'd have said wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire is downright worrying. Getting the same reaction now left me feeling defensive and off-balance.
"Perhaps we may speak of the kinfinding services the Temple offers later," Lloran continued. "Business must come first, though."
"Business. Sure." That sounded like far safer ground to me. Then I became suspicious. "...What business, exactly?"
"First of all," Lloran said, "you will be relieved to hear that all traces of the Sharmat's corruption have been purged from you, and that the ash statue that caused it has been destroyed."
Relieved was an understatement. However, some natural caution remained.
"So the- corruption, as you called it – is definitely gone? I'm not in any danger of-" I stopped, unable to bring myself to say the last few words.
Lloran understood what I meant, however. "Definitely gone," she confirmed. "You were lucky – if the evil progresses far enough, it becomes irreversible, but at your stage it could still be washed away by the holy waters of Vivec and the blessings of the ancestors."
Irreversible?
Well. That right there was a piece of information Ervesa had left out when she'd discussed my state in Balmora. Probably because she'd figured that it would only spur me into mindless panic.
"I do have to warn you that your experience will make you more susceptible to the Sharmat's influence from now on, and that if you ever come across an ash statue again you should remove yourself from its vicinity and contact the Temple immediately." Lloran paused. "Although I suspect that at this point, you would do so regardless." Her voice was dry.
"You can say that again." I was seriously beginning to wish I'd never thought of breaking into Hanarai's home, never agreed to help Varvur, never even met Varvur-
"Ervesa told me how you came by the ash statue," Lloran said, distracting me from my mental diatribe at the mer who'd gotten me into this by confirming my worst fears about Ervesa's discretion, "but I'd like to hear it in your own words all the same."
Truth be told, at this point all I wanted to do was stagger to a bed – my bed at the Mages' Guild, preferably, but any bed not beset by ash statues would do, and in fact the ground was looking increasingly comfortable. However, it was clear by Lloran's tone that this was not a request.
I sighed and began, for the third time in two days, to explain exactly how I'd come by the statue. The process was not made any easier by the fact that my audience was one of the sort beloved by teachers but definitely disliked by anyone who was beginning to eye the carpet and wonder how soft it would be: an audience who thought. An audience who asked questions.
"How exactly did you work out it was Hanarai Assutlanipal the statues originated from?"
"Why did you choose to investigate her home on your own instead of taking your proof to the guards?"
"Can you remember the exact words you heard in Assutlanipal's cellar?"
"Ervesa mentioned you have a... condition... which causes you difficulty with Mysticism spells. Can you elaborate?"
At that, I tried to protest – not only was it not at all relevant to Hanarai Assutlanipal, Galtis Guvron and the statues, but I'd been subjected to more than enough humiliation regarding that particular subject for one lifetime, thank you very much – but my objection didn't make it far.
"I consider it relevant. Ervesa mentioned it, and it is unusual. Anything unusual in connection with these statues bears investigation."
I frowned. Her voice was hard and left no room for protest, but I thought that she'd glanced away for a moment when she'd said that... as though she wasn't telling me everything.
Well, considering she was a high-ranking priestess privy to any number of secrets and I was a mere peon of a heathen non-believer, it would be a surprise if she was telling me everything. Still, I couldn't imagine what relevance my newfound learning disability (I hated that that thought was getting more familiar) had to anything. I must have imagined it – Divines knew I was tired.
By the time she stopped, a whole sheaf of parchment on her desk was covered in notes, the candle had almost burned down and I was swaying in my seat from exhaustion.
"Very well. Now, Ervesa tells me you are staying at the Mages' Guild in Balmora?"
I nodded. Dipping my chin was far easier than raising it again, I noted fuzzily. I wondered if the priestess would be very insulted if I simply fell asleep right here. It was, after all, the place I suspected I'd be safest from statues in all of Vvardenfell. No tendril of malign influence would dare approach the woman.
"It's far too late to return there tonight, I'm afraid, and in any case I might have more questions for you tomorrow. I've arranged for a bed for you in the novices' dormitory tonight, and we will see what the morning brings."
The only word that made it through to my tired brain was bed.
"That's-"
A loud knock on the door made both of us look up. A moment later, it opened to show one of Master Grumpy's fellows.
Lloran frowned. "I am quite certain I asked not to be disturbed, Brother Ordinator."
"My apologies, Disciple, but it is urgent."
"Ah! Do you bring news from Ald'ruhn, then?"
Despite my exhaustion I found myself leaning forward in my chair to listen. Through the questioning, I'd managed to gather that someone had been sent to Ald'ruhn to investigate my story and arrest Hanarai Assutlanipal and Galtis Guvron if confirmed. I had to admit I was rather invested in the outcome. Varvur's freedom was at stake, of course, but even aside from that I'd feel a lot safer with both those mer behind bars.
"Ald'ruhn?" The Ordinator sounded confused. "No, I'm here on Brother Suryn's orders." That expressionless mask turned to stare in my direction. "You are the clanless known as Adryn, recently of Windhelm?"
Wait, he was here for me?
I had the terrible sinking feeling that I'd forgotten about something important.
"Yes, she is," Lloran answered for me. I gritted my teeth, fighting the urge to yell at her for so easily letting my identity slip to law enforcement – you never give the guards anything! "Now, what is this about-"
Quick as a snake, the Ordinator's hand shot out. Tired as I was, I wasn't able to evade the cold metal he clasped around my wrist, and found myself choking out a gasp as my magicka began to drain away.
"You are under arrest for the murder of Ordinator Selman Relas. Please come quietly."
Chapter 12: Interlude I
Chapter Text
"Father, I can't breathe." Despite his aggrieved words, Varvur made no motion to free himself from Athyn's embrace.
"Have some pity for a worried parent, Varvur," Athyn responded. "Your mother and I have spent weeks wondering if we'd ever see you again."
He gave his son one last squeeze, then reluctantly began to disentangle himself. Finally he stood in front of Varvur, hands on his shoulders - and when had Athyn started to need to reach up to do that, anyway?
"Speaking of Mother, where is she?" Varvur's tone was a credible imitation of a true teenager who found his parents deeply embarrassing and was certainly far too old to need their reassurance, but Athyn, who'd noticed his son's anxious glances, wasn't fooled. Not so grown-up as all that, then.
As for Domesea...
"I'm afraid I rather made a point of not knowing," Athyn confessed. "When we heard about your arrest by the Archmaster's guards, she went straight to the armory - I decided it would be best to have plausible deniability. I'm sure she'll hear about your release soon enough. At the latest, when she has Bolvyn Venim at swordpoint." He shrugged with all the equanimity of long years of marriage.
"Mother," Varvur groaned.
"That said," Athyn continued, "there is someone else who'd like to greet you. Although I think she's not too happy with you right now." He finally let go of his son entirely and turned around. "Meryni?"
The figure who'd been sulking in the background came forward upon being addressed.
"Varvur, you missed my birthday!"
That foot-stomp would no doubt be a fierce, ground-shaking thing one day, Athyn mused. She was a little too small to have much effect with it right now, though.
Varvur crouched to get on a level with the girl. "I'm sorry, Meryni," he said sincerely. "I wanted to come, I promise, but an evil warlord kidnapped me to keep me from being with you on the day. I tried to fight my way out to you, but I didn't quite manage to free myself in time. Will you forgive me?"
"Well..."
Meryni clearly had to consider this very thoroughly. Athyn bit back a smile.
"All right," she finally said, in the tones of one bestowing a great favour. "If it was an evil warlord, I suppose."
Then she threw herself at him.
Varvur visibly relaxed as his arms closed around his sister. In that unguarded moment, Athyn could see all the exhaustion, stress and pain of his captivity written on his face.
Athyn Sarethi liked to think he was not a violent man, but that instant he found himself wishing fiercely for ten minutes alone with Bolvyn Venim and his mace.
After a few moments, Varvur straightened, his little sister held against his hip. Declarations of anger aside, Meryni looked perfectly content snuggled into his hold. On seeing his children like that, something within Athyn relaxed for the first time in weeks. Meryni was too young to truly understand why her brother had been gone, and her distress at Varvur's absence had torn at Athyn's heart.
"So," Athyn asked his son after a moment. "What happened?"
"What happened... you mean with- with Bralen and-"
"No, no." Athyn interrupted. "I mean your daring escape from the evil warlord's clutches, of course." He shot his son a smile, and was glad to see it returned after a moment - even if Varvur's was still far fainter than he'd like.
Later, Athyn thought, there would be time to talk about the rest of it. About poor Bralen's death, about the team from the Temple that was right now turning his home upside-down in the name of 'cleansing' and whatever it was they'd removed from Varvur's quarters... about the shadows that lingered in his son's eyes and the disturbing tale borne to him by that young Armiger who'd come to inform him of the law finally recognising Varvur's innocence. But not now, not in the midst of what should be a happy reunion, and absolutely not with Meryni listening.
Judging by the glance Varvur shot his sister, he felt the same.
"My escape. Well. It started when two thieves showed up at the door to my cell..."
After a while, Meryni wriggled free and ran ahead; apparently the story didn't contain enough adventure and heroic derring-do for her. Well, Athyn thought while keeping an absent eye on the small figure, even if his daughter wasn't satisfied, it certainly contained more than Athyn himself had expected. Fair maidens, a battle with a fierce barbarian, a conspiracy uncovered - Varvur had been busy.
"...and then the Ordinator told me I'd been cleared of all charges and was free to go," his son finished.
Up ahead, Meryni was balancing on the rail at the edge of the canton. Watching her while he gathered his thoughts, Athyn had to fight down the urge to run and fetch her down. They were on the lowest level, after all - if she should slip, a dunking would do her no harm. Athyn knew he would do his daughter no favours by seeking to wrap her in wool.
"Are you- what do you think?"
The naked uncertainty in Varvur's voice made Athyn turn, surprised. He wasn't sure he could ever remember his son sounding so unsure of himself.
"What do you mean?" What's wrong?
Varvur didn't meet his gaze. "Are you... ashamed?"
Athyn found himself momentarily speechless.
His son seemed to take his silence as agreement. "I didn't manage to escape on my own," he whispered. "I had to be rescued. And then I didn't even participate in the investigation-"
"Varvur-"
"-no, I hid in Ajira's house like some cowardly Hlaalu-"
"Varvur-"
"-sat playing games with a kid while other people risked their lives for me-"
"Varvur!"
Finally, Varvur stopped. The look of sheer misery on his face remained, however. It was clear that he'd managed to think himself in such a tangle a simple reassurance that no, Athyn was not ashamed of him (what an idea!) wouldn't suffice.
Athyn decided to try logic instead.
"Do you think Buoyant Armigers are weak, when they do not patrol Red Mountain alone?"
Varvur's brow furrowed. "No, but-"
"Or myself, if I call on our honoured ancestor Sarethi-Tavano to aid me against my foes?"
"Well, no-"
Athyn could still hear the doubt in his son's voice and readied the killing blow.
"How about Saint Nerevar? He sought out the Dwemer as allies against the Nords. Should I call him a coward for that?"
"Of course not!" Varvur bristled at the aspersion cast on his hero. "He did what was necessary at the time to free Morrowind!"
"Exactly!" Feeling victory at hand, Athyn pressed his point home. "Varvur, the stories Redoran tells of lone heroes against overwhelming odds are all well and good, but all too often the lone hero falls where a group triumphs. You think your story shows you in a bad light because others did much of the work. Do you know what I heard in it?"
Varvur shook his head.
"I heard that you waited without despairing, grasped the opportunity to escape when it came, made allies among people strange to you, and pulled all this together to get out of a situation I'm not sure I'd have managed to escape. A disappointment? Varvur, I don't think I've ever been so proud of you in my life."
The desperate hope in Varvur's face was painful to see. "Really?"
"Really." Athyn considered for a moment, then gave into temptation, reached up, and ruffled his son's hair. Over the yelped protest, he said, "Also, as far as doing nothing is concerned, I seem to remember something about you doing your best to save two defenseless women from a rampaging barbarian."
Varvur flushed. "Well, one of them wasn't quite so helpless-"
"Which you didn't know at the time, and when it sounds as though she couldn't have done anything without you to draw the threat away. My argument stands."
"I suppose." Although Varvur's words were doubtful, he looked lighter, as if some great weight had fallen from him.
Ahead, Meryni had reached an Ordinator. Athyn watched the interaction carefully - true and honourable they might be, but Ordinators had always been notoriously rigid and unbending, and Athyn did not like some of the stories he had been hearing out of Vivec of late. Here, thankfully, there seemed to be no cause for concern, as the masked figure bent down to Meryni with grave patience. The level of indulgence on display made Athyn suspect the mer might be a fellow parent - a reassuring idea indeed.
"So," Athyn said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "Tell me about your new allies."
"Well..." Varvur visibly gathered his thoughts. "Jamie is an honourable sort, I think."
"Jamie being the one in the Fighter's Guild?"
"Yes. She mentioned she'd joined the Imperial Legion before, up in Gnisis, but left because they ordered her to do something dishonourable."
Athyn frowned. The Imperial Legion demanding something dishonourable? In Redoran lands, no less? That was worrying indeed. He'd have to look into it... but later.
For now, he said, "I'm surprised she joined the Fighter's Guild, then. Mercius may be reasonable, but one healthy limb is no use when the heart is poisoned."
"I get the impression she didn't know," Varvur said. "From what Adryn said, she was certainly quick to side with the victim when they sent her to collect... 'debts'." Varvur spat the word.
A move that spoke volumes. Yes, it sounded as if Varvur had the measure of this Jamie... and Athyn had a good idea of how to reward someone like that for her part in his son's escape from Venim's trap.
Now, for the others.
"This Adryn is the girl who freed you from the Archmaster's Manor, correct? What about her?" Athyn prompted.
He watched in surprise as his son went puce.
"Her? She's a dishonourable, cowardly thief! Interrupting a fair fight - by attacking my opponent with magic from behind! - prepared to simply walk away from a man in need, mocking the very idea of honour, of responsibility-"
Varvur took a deep breath, then another. His voice was notably quieter when he continued, "...and I owe her my freedom, my sanity, quite possibly my life, she risked her own in the process, and I still have no idea why she chose to get involved."
Well.
Athyn doubted his son would have had the presence of mind to recognise that second part before his ordeal. Varvur had certainly grown in both spirit and maturity during his absence.
Athyn suspected he owed this Adryn significant gratitude for that in itself, without even taking into account the rest of it.
"So, what do you think-"
A squeal from up ahead interrupted Athyn. Meryni. His head snapped up.
"Um..." The chitin-clad figure his daughter was barrelling towards - a rather familiar figure, come to think of it - seemed rather taken aback. "Hel- oof! - hello there, it's nice to see you too, I need to speak to your father... ah... if you could maybe let go..."
The Armiger - Romandas, that was her name - plucked ineffectually at Meryni, who responded by hugging her legs even tighter. As Athyn neared, he recognised the helpless expression of an adult who spent almost no time around children and thought of them as half extremely breakable porcelain figure, half unknown species of Daedra.
"Meryni, let go of Armiger Romandas at once. Do you want her to think House Sarethi consists of Nord barbarians?" Athyn scolded.
The heartbreak on Meryni's face as she disentangled herself was only matched by the relief on the Buoyant Armiger's. "But Father! I want her to tell me stories about battling evil on Red Mountain!"
"I'm sure she'll be happy to do so later." Athyn cheerfully ignored Romandas' expression saying she would be no such thing. "For now, I believe she said she had business with me?"
"Yes, and urgent at that." Now that Meryni had let go of her, the Armiger's tone was grave, and Athyn felt his heart sink. She brought ill news, he could tell, and he'd had his fill of that and more in the last few weeks.
Could he not have this one day to reunite with his son, unmarred by disturbance and disaster?
Athyn strangled the selfish thought almost before it had formed. He was Redoran. Duty was engraved in his blood and bone.
"Go on, Armiger Romandas," Athyn said.
"It's about Adryn..."
"Here."
Gelduin accepted the purse and scroll of parchment Shazgob thrust her way with a dip of the head. By its weight, she guessed the purse held the promised wages. She'd have to make sure to find a quiet place to count it later. Shazgob was an honest sort, but there was no point in being too trusting about these things.
In any case, in her line of work, the parchment was more valuable.
She unrolled it, glanced over the seal at the bottom, then skimmed the words. Detected a bandit ambush north of Ald'ruhn... caravan avoided all encounters with hostile wildlife when she was scouting... found a campsite in the Ashlands... did good work.
High praise indeed coming from Shazgob gro-Luzgan, and anyone worth travelling with in western Vvardenfell would know the Orc's reputation well enough to be aware of that. As a scout without a guild affiliation, a letter of recommendation like this was priceless.
"You deserve all of it," Shazgob said gruffly. "Best scout I ever hired. You sure you don't want to come aboard permanently?"
Gelduin shook her head. "I appreciate the offer, but I'd get bored of always travelling the same route." She grinned at the caravan master. "No idea how you stand it, honestly."
That startled a rare smile out of him, she was pleased to see. "Too old for that sort of excitement, that's me. Malacath knows I'd have said the same in my younger years. But..."
For a long moment Shazgob was silent, penetrating stare resting on her as though he were trying to peer right through her to any secrets she was hiding. Gelduin forced herself to keep meeting his gaze evenly. Finally, he sighed.
"You didn't hear this from me, all right?"
Now this was interesting. "Of course not," Gelduin agreed smoothly.
"Could be we'll be travelling a different route soon enough." Shazgob was keeping his voice low. "One on the mainland. I told Albuttian about the blighted creatures you encountered. Three, wasn't it, and one outside the Ashlands?"
"A guar, in the West Gash near Caldera. That's right."
"He's worried," Shazgob said grimly. "Said the Ghostfence doesn't seem to be capable of containing the spread, and none of the healers have come up with anything decent either. He's worried, his superiors are worried. Reading between the lines, they might be thinking of doing something drastic. Way I see it, if you've been thinking of leaving Vvardenfell, this is the time. If you haven't been thinking of leaving, time to think again. You read me?"
It was an open secret that Shazgob was one of the eyes and ears of the Empire in Vvardenfell, someone people like Knight-of-the-Garland Cavortius Albuttian consulted in order to get the lay of the land. Sometimes, like now, he let a little information slip the other way.
That habit was one of the reasons Gelduin had made a point of cultivating the relationship.
"Thank you for the warning," she said now. "I do appreciate it. However, I'm not leaving Vvardenfell. It's my home, and I won't be chased away easily. I've already booked passage to Vos, anyway. Rumour has it one of M- one of Aryon's people is putting together a trade caravan to the Zainab. They'll need a good scout."
Silently Gelduin berated herself for the near-slip. Thankfully Shazgob didn't seem to have noticed anything amiss.
Shazgob shook his head. "No idea how you stand living near all those Telvanni, honestly. Or why you don't use the Mages' Guild to teleport back to Sadrith Mora like everyone else."
"Teleportation makes me queasy," Gelduin lied.
"Well then. On your fool head be it. If you change your mind, we'll be in Ebonheart for a few more days."
Several hours later found the last wagons of the caravan being unloaded under Shazgob's watch and Gelduin seated in the prow of the Frost-Ghost, her unstrung bow and pack at her side, the sea breeze tangling her hair. In the distance Vivec loomed on the horizon, but the wind was coming in from the Sea of Ghosts today, heavy with salt and bearing none of the stink of the city.
The scout smiled, letting her eyes close. She did like sailing. In another life, she might have become a sailor. In this one, it was a handy preference to have, considering the reception she got if she tried to make use of the guild guide system these days. After the third time that chit at the Vivec guild had refused her transport, she'd given up on the teleportation network entirely.
Thankfully for her, none of that had spread far - certainly not all the way to Shazgob's ears. Gelduin doubted the man would have been been quite so loose with his tongue if he'd heard that the Mages' Guild was refusing her service...
Certainly not if he'd heard the reason why.
When the ship docked beside Saint Delyn canton, Gelduin thanked the shipmaster in broken Dunmeris, gave him a generous tip from Shazgob's payment and sauntered off. Ano Andaram watched her make her way towards the Arena canton.
Fresh off the boat from Ebonheart, he thought. Some outlander come to see the wilderness of Morrowind, make a handful of drakes adventuring and spend it all betting on fights at the Arena. His cousin Birama would be indignant with rage at this point, proclaiming the outlander yet another invader from the Empire, most likely a cursed tomb-robber. Ano was more pragmatic. Her coin was good, and she'd gone to the effort of at least trying to learn Dunmeris. Surely that counted for something.
"Excuse me, do you sail to Hla Oad?"
Turning towards his prospective customer, Ano put the Bosmer out of his mind.
In the Arena canton, Gelduin entered a small tavern in the waistworks. As usual, the crowd was mostly outlanders, almost all conversation Tamrielic. The Arena, once used only for duels of honour or rank, now ran fights between hired fighters twice a week. For most natives, it was yet another hateful imposition from the unwanted Empire, and there were never many Dunmer in the audience. For many from Cyrodiil, it was a familiar taste of home in a strange land, and it sometimes seemed half the Imperial population of Vvardenfell flocked to the stands when a match was on.
"Hey, Vinnus!" Gelduin hailed the barkeep. "Any rooms free tonight?"
Half an hour later found Gelduin back in the tavern, pack and bow stowed in her rented room. Her netch leather had been exchanged for an embroidered dress, fresh and unwrinkled despite having been rolled up at the bottom of her pack for weeks (and the enchantment for that had been worth every single drake), and she'd teased her hair into the many-braided style that had been all the rage in Cyrodiil two years ago and finally made its way to Morrowind. To all eyes, she looked like a young woman from Imperial City, ready for a night on the town.
Gelduin ordered a tankard of mazte and settled in to wait.
Gossip spread quickly around the Vvardenfell Mages' Guild. Ranis Athrys' recruitment efforts notwithstanding, the core of the guild remained much the same as time went by, small and close-knit. Any occasion where even a few guild mages found themselves in the same room was quickly used as an opportunity to catch up on news. When that occasion was a guest lecture by Wizard Borissean - come all the way from Imperial City to study Dunmer levitation spells, was the word - when that lecture was followed by a meal in the private dining room at the Flowers of Gold.... when the words free drinks (which had a magic all of their own) were spoken...
On such nights enough gossip was exchanged to fuel any spy network for weeks.
With so much opportunity to swap tales, it was hardly a wonder that some of them concerned the guild's newest Apprentice. Said member would no doubt have been distinctly unhappy about this if she'd known, a fact that might have given some of the wagging tongues pause had she been there. As she was however mysteriously absent (a fact no one seemed to know the reason for, although some speculated she was too embarrassed to show her face), the gossip flowed unhindered.
"A learning disability?" Uleni Heleran leaned forward, eyes sparkling with interest. "First I've ever heard of such a thing."
"Wish I could say the same," Procyon Nigilius muttered and took a long drink from his shein, wondering whether he shouldn't order something stronger. He'd taught a guest class on advanced uses of the water-walking spell at the Arcane University on a research trip last year. No one knew quite what had happened, but rumour had it a certain Khajiit had been among the audience, and that the Arcane University's pond had needed to be replaced in its entirety.
"I don't see why we should let someone so unsuited to be a mage stay in the guild- ow!" Tusamircil rubbed his side. "Uleni!"
"If we're going to be kicking people out, there's someone else who ranks far above her on my list." Uleni glared at the Altmer. "Have some empathy for once in your life, will you? Poor girl - it must have come as a real shock. She deserves some moral support, not the boot."
"Admit it, Uleni, you're just wondering if you can use her in a prank," Medila Indaren threw in from where she was sitting with Tanar Llervi.
"Well..."
Nearby, Galbedir had engaged Folms Mirel from Caldera. "...of course, no way she can continue as my assistant. Unable to cast a Soultrap spell, I ask you! And enchanting and Mysticism are related, there's no saying she might not encounter the same trouble. Whatever Estirdalin says," she gave the Altmer, deep in conversation with Tiram Gadar and Senilias Cadiusus two tables away, a glance, "I'd rather not be blown up."
"Quite right, my dear," said Folms, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the smirk on Galbedir's face. "Enchanting is a difficult and delicate art, and there is no telling what havoc someone facing such challenges might wreak. Better she stick to throwing fireballs, or... or healing people, or..." Clearly struggling to come up with any schools of magic beyond his own, Folms resorted to a dismissive wave.
"...or alchemy," Galbedir muttered.
"Precisely. But," Folms' eyes lit up. "It's interesting you mention the connection between Mysticism and enchanting. I've recently come across an object which I would swear exemplifies Lor's Fourth Principle - there is no magickal residue on the second-layer simplices at all, and initially Galerion's Analysis only shows trace amounts barely greater than the standard background emanation from Magnus, but if you focus solely on the Atronach-Apprentice range and then tune it to take Lorkhan's Disjunction into account-"
Just as her smirk earlier, Folms paid no attention to Galbedir's increasingly horrified expression and attempts to edge away.
"-did tell her she was to work on the Dwemer," Trebonius expounded to Skink-in-Trees-Shade, who was giving every impression of listening intently. "Obviously, I'd spotted this inability of hers at the time. Simple matter for a skilled mage, really. No idea how it took Ranis and her people so long to suss out."
"Of course," Skink murmured. "It is an excellent thing, to find a way to let an apprentice grow and thrive who many would have abandoned. A good leader nurtures all in their charge, not just the ones who are easy to teach, so I have always believed." As Trebonius puffed up, the Argonian continued. "My gravest apologies for changing the subject, but I found myself... curious... about your newest assistant, Tiram Gadar. You said he was recommended by Ocato himself?"
"Indeed! Insisted we hire him on the spot. Been invaluable, let me tell you! But you'll have to ask Malven about the details. I never let myself be bothered with such things. My time's too important."
"I understand fully." Skink's voice was still calm and even, but his crest was straight and his eyes were glittering strangely. "Of course from your perspective these must all seem mere trivialities, and I do appreciate your patience..."
And so the conversation moved on.
Eventually, every evening must come to an end. As Masser rose higher and higher in the sky, people began making their apologies. So sorry, the enchantment desk won't man itself in the morning... Edwinna's got us heading out to Nchuleftingth at the crack of dawn... need to look in on those potions I set to simmer... want to sort out some business at the High Fane tomorrow and you know how early those priests get up...
In the bustle of people departing, numerous flashes from Recall spells and a queue forming in front of the rather put-upon Cassia, one more person leaving drew no attention. Anyone following them might have felt rather puzzled when their quarry started towards to the eastern end of the waistworks - quite the wrong direction for the Foreign Quarter and with it the guildhall, the Vivec members' residences, and all the inns that might be favoured by a visitor. And they'd certainly have been shocked when the figure ducked into a doorway and emerged a few moments later looking rather different.
But who would follow such a well-known, respected member of the guild?
In the Arena canton, Gelduin had switched from mazte to wick water two mugs ago in hopes of keeping her head clear. The tavern had filled up and she'd found herself needing to use all the cunning and skill at her disposal, supplemented by her trusty charm ring, in order to stay alone at her table. She was wondering whether to call it a night when a tall, broad-shouldered Imperial slipped into the seat beside her.
It wasn't the first, or for that matter the tenth, time that night that such a thing had happened, and Gelduin was fingering her ring trying to gauge the number of charges it had left when the Imperial spoke.
"And a good night to you, my dear." His accent, straight from the Nibenay Basin, would have raised eyebrows almost anywhere else in Vivec. Here, he was just another Imperial in the crowd. "See many cliff-racers on the way?"
"Mendaxto!" Smiling widely, Gelduin shifted forward to kiss the man. It was a rather long and thorough kiss by any standards, and when she finally broke away she still stayed close, half-on the Imperial's lap, her head on his shoulder.
"You're late," she hissed.
He bent his head to hers so that his mouth almost brushed the tip of her ear. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I couldn't get away." Then, a little louder: "Shall we move to a more... suitable location?"
The departure of a couple who were barely able to keep their hands off each other long enough to make it out the door raised no eyebrows at all. Such sights were common in the tavern come evening, especially on a day where Blue Team's newest Pit Dog had won such an astonishing victory over Red Team's experienced Myrmidon and Saprius Entius had bought a round for the whole tavern to celebrate. At most, they attracted some jealous glances from a few men who'd been eyeing the empty seat beside Gelduin themselves and hadn't noticed how all previous attempts to conquer it had ended with the interloper stumbling away looking rather dazed.
When they reached the small room Gelduin had rented above the tavern, the Imperial broke away and raised his hand. Green light flashed and raced out to settle in the corners of the room, keeping all sound within. Any would-be eavesdroppers would have very little luck indeed.
Gelduin turned to her companion.
"I hope you're not expecting me to sleep with you while you're looking like that," she informed the Imperial tartly. Ano Andaram, if he'd been there, would have been surprised at the fluent, Vos-accented Dunmeris she spoke now – barely a trace of foreign accent, a far cry from the broken nigh-incomprehensible thanks she'd strung together earlier that day.
In the meantime, her partner had made a beeline to the pack beside her bed and was fumbling with a flask.
"Or," Gelduin continued, "that you're going to guzzle all my magicka-restoring potions. Some of us can't just go to sleep and wake up with a full magicka pool, thank you very much."
"Sorry," the Imperial said in equally fluent Dunmeris, putting the empty bottle to the side. "I don't think I can risk letting the illusion lapse – I'm not sure I'll be able to recreate it perfectly after, and I'd rather not draw attention by looking different when I leave. Too many people stayed in Vivec, anyway. I'd rather not raise any questions by being spotted somewhere I shouldn't be."
Gelduin shrugged. "Sounds paranoid to me, but you have to know what's best. I'm not cut out for all this spy stuff, you know. Code phrases and disguises and illusion spells – it's like a bad Blades novel. I had trouble keeping my face straight in there."
"Well, I'm afraid you have to get used to it," her companion said apologetically. "I can't risk being seen with you, not after-"
"-after Iniel, Namira curse her nosy ways, spotted me wandering into the Council Hall and decided to inform the whole guild," Gelduin finished. "Like I said, I'm not cut out for this spy stuff. But I am sorry about that. I miss being able to drop in on you without this... rigmarole."
"Well, it can't be helped now. And, getting to business... anything newsworthy happen on your trip?"
Gelduin let herself sink down on the narrow bed. "The main thing? We ran into three Blighted creatures, one of them near Caldera – miles away from the Ghostfence, well inside the West Gash. It worried Shazgob. It worries me, for that matter, but I don't have the direct ear of the second-in-command of the Imperial Legion for the entirety of Vvardenfell. Speaking of which, Shazgob let something interesting slip."
"Oh?"
Gelduin explained.
Sitting down beside Gelduin and frowning in thought, her companion traced winding circles on the sheet - an oddly delicate gesture that seemed misplaced on the man's bulky frame. "Something drastic... a good time to leave Vvardenfell... I wish he'd been more specific. That could be anything from invading Red Mountain to withdrawing from Vvardenfell completely. Well. The last is no doubt too much to hope for." A sigh. "I suppose other... friends of ours... will just have to keep an eye on Albuttian."
Gelduin, who neither knew nor particularly cared whether they had other agents in Ebonheart, nodded.
"So, anything happen on your end which you'd like me to tell the boss?" she asked.
"It's funny you should say that. Tell me, did you happen to meet an Adryn while with the caravan?"
"Adryn?" Gelduin blinked in surprise. "Clanless girl, late teens or so, from Skyrim? Yes, she travelled with us for a day or so earlier this week. Helped me out with the scouting – seemed like a good kid, even if she and her friend were clearly hiding something. Had a detection spell I'd really have liked to learn," she added with a touch of envy. "Although I guess you'd know her better than me – I remember she mentioned she was a guild member. Apparently nobody'd clued her in on my status as an agent of the enemy."
"You wanted to learn her detection spell?"
"She had this trick of using a Detect Life spell to tell whether an animal was Blighted. You know how much easier being able to do that would make my life? And I'm pretty sure Yakin Bael would give his right arm for it!" Gelduin frowned. "What's this about?"
"It turns out that that is only the tail of the snake when it comes to her skills. Apparently she can manage a teleport to a variable destination."
Gelduin's eyes widened. "You're serious? The things you could do with that-"
"Congratulations. By seeing the potential here, you have just proven yourself wiser than, at last count, the entirety of the Vvardenfell Mages' Guild." The Imperial began to pace angrily.
"This sounds like a story." Gelduin stretched, then let herself settle back on the bed with a groan. In her professional opinion as a scout, a good mattress needed to be properly indulged in when it crossed one's path.
"Sheep. Mindless sheep," her friend spat. "Teleportation is one of the big research areas of the guild. We've- they've been trying to increase the range and flexibility of the spells for centuries, to no avail. The guild guide network is the biggest advance made during that entire time, and that requires a dedicated mage at every single end point. Along comes a girl whose spell-casting doesn't obey any of the restrictions we assumed must hold, who could open a thousand new avenues of investigation, and what do they do? The instant the words 'learning disability' fall they declare her hopeless, write off all that potential as misfires!"
"You feel very strongly about this," Gelduin said from where she was watching the rant.
"It's just such a waste! Now they're going to convince the girl she should stay away from the entire school, fill her head with exaggerated tales of danger, all because she doesn't learn or cast the spells the way they think they should, because she can't cast a Soultrap spell. Who even cares about Soultrap? It's not as if we have a shortage of fools who can cast it. She, on the other hand, managed a teleport to a place completely devoid of any Mystic beacon. Any proper organisation supportive of mages would immediately recognise the worth of such a unique talent. Great-"
At that, Gelduin's companion broke off and shot a glance into the corner. After a moment, the light of Illusion magic bloomed once more.
"Great House Telvanni," the Imperial continued, voice softer despite the renewed green gleam in the corners, "would leap on the opportunity to nurture it."
"Is leaping, I think you mean," Gelduin said, spreading her hands to indicate their current situation. "Unless this is all some bizarre prelude to telling me you've rethought your allegiances, are going over to the Mages' Guild for real and want me to join you. If so, I have to inform that your rhetorical skills need some work."
Her companion snorted. "Hardly. But..."
The anger fled from the large body like water seeping from a pierced skin. The weary sigh, loud in the small room, did not belong to the young face that made it.
"Like it or not, she's still a member of the Mages' Guild. One who is making waves despite how recently she joined. And I can't risk falling under suspicion... I'll have to tread very, very carefully."
"I have full confidence that you'll come up with something," Gelduin said firmly. "Or the boss will. Seeing as I take it you'd like me to make a full report on the matter."
"I was rather hoping you would, yes. I know that..." her companion glanced up at the corners of the room as if considering something, then shrugged and continued, "the boss is going to be very interested in this. It ties into some long-standing research interests, you see." The last words were spoken with all the authority of a close confidant.
So her nickname for their patron was a code name now? Her life had become a bad Blades novel indeed, Gelduin thought, hard-pressed to keep from rolling her eyes.
For the hundredth time, she wondered whether she shouldn't give up this spy business, go back to the boss and say she'd rather just be a perfectly ordinary scout with none of the cloak-and-dagger nonsense. Akatosh knew there was enough business in the Grazelands to keep her happily occupied.
Her friend was looking far more cheerful, Gelduin noted, the look on that false face saying that the other was already thinking up plans for gaining control over this Adryn's unique abilities. She felt a brief spark of pity for the girl, who'd struck Gelduin as rather naive – or, in other words, as woefully unequipped to be at the centre of this sort of conspiracy – but forced it down. House Telvanni had been good to Gelduin herself, after all, and it certainly sounded like the girl wasn't being properly appreciated for her abilities where she was.
More to the point, although Gelduin did not consider her companion's current appearance in any way attractive, the gleam in those eyes made her remember what lay beneath it. And exactly how she'd been... seduced... into House Telvanni in the first place.
"Are you really certain you can't stay for a while, without the illusion?" she asked. "Your guildmates are hardly going to come in bursting here, and I doubt anyone will notice if you look a little different if you leave. I've been on the road for such a long time, you know." Gelduin let her voice drop to the purr that had brought Madam Meretria to her doorstep with an offer the day she turned sixteen. "No privacy at all. I was really looking forward to catching up with you... properly."
Her companion's eyes darkened, but that was the only reaction.
Gelduin considered, and decided she could up her gambit a little. "Otherwise, well, I've got a long journey ahead of me tomorrow, and it sounds like we're about caught up on news. Unless you give me a good reason to stay awake, I'll be going to bed now."
She stood, turning her back to her partner. Her pulse hammered in her ears, drowning out all other sound, as she began to unbutton her dress. Goosebumps grew on her skin as the bare skin of her shoulder met cool air, her back-
Fingers wrapped around hers, far longer and thinner than the Imperial's.
"You make a convincing argument," a very familiar voice murmured in her ear.
A quarter hour later, the muffling spell on the room wore off. Neither of the two occupants noticed. That was perfectly all right, though, as none of the sounds that escaped could be considered incriminating.
Something that regularly came as a surprise to newcomers to Vivec – outlander tourists, visitors, new residents and pilgrims alike – was the Palace.
Rising towards the sky at the southernmost point of the city, an earthly thing of stone and iron topped by a golden dome, at first glance a not particularly religious newcomer might think it was much like the homes of the rich and powerful the world over. Such blasphemy was quickly proven mistaken on any sort of closer inspection, however. Only the topmost floor of the palace was occupied by the god himself, a windowless space no larger than the tiny stilted shacks that rose from the water between the cantons. The rest of the palace was given over to the Puzzle Canals, the mysterious, some claimed ever-changing maze of corridors and flowing water that was a favoured destination of pilgrims from across Morrowind. Of all the things that could be said of the Puzzle Canals, them being a suitable dwelling place was not one.
Vivec's palace was the home of a god, not a man.
As Archcanon of the Vvardenfell Temple beneath Vivec, Tholer Saryoni had access to the private writings of many of his predecessors. Some had kept more detailed journals than others – Noveni Omayn in particular had left behind a considerable collection of volumes, one thankfully accompanied by a quick and biting sense for irony and witty turn of phrase – but keeping such records was one of the unspoken duties of the job and one would be hard-pressed to find an Archcanon who had left behind nothing at all. Poring over their writings late into the night, commonalities became apparent.
My lord has changed His chamber again, wrote Tandris Nelenim. Entered this morning and found myself in an actual jungle. Narrowly escaped being attacked by a beast I did not recognise... very afraid He has gone on a jaunt to Akavir (or possibly Hircine's Hunting Grounds?) and, shall we say, left the door open behind Him...
And, of course, Noveni. His Worship is showing dangerous signs of getting bored again. After a very relaxing few months where his chamber obeyed the laws of Mundus it has been getting steadily larger by the day, and I have a terrible suspicion the carpet is currently carnivorous. I have made clear in the strongest possible terms that I would be most displeased if I entered one day and found myself on the ceiling, in an Outer Realm, or eaten by the floor, but fear I failed to make much, if any, impression. For the sake of everyone's safety and keeping the dragon of time in one piece, I do believe I may need to arrange for a distraction...
Reading it, Tholer – who, if pressed, would admit to a love for adventure better suited to a far younger man – had felt rather wistful. Such variety, he thought, sounded rather exciting. Sadly for him, in his tenure as Archcanon, Vivec's chamber had remained constant. As he entered now, it was clear today would bring no change.
Inside as outside, the room at the top of the Palace of Vivec was small and perfectly round. Elaborate murals ran along the walls, some depicting scenes Tholer recognised from history or legend, some ones entirely unfamiliar – different ones each time he entered, the only remnant of the distortions of physical reality described by so many of his predecessors. The floor was a stark contrast to such decoration, bare white stone save for a large triangle worked into it in gold, a plain dais at its centre.
Over it floated a god.
Vivec's back was to the door, and he had given no sign of welcome or even acknowledgement. Instead, his gaze was fixed on the only other item in the chamber.
An image of Vvardenfell floated before Vivec, green islands and gray ash-wastes alike rising from a sea of white fog, all leading upwards to the great sweep of Red Mountain – its peak obscured even here. Looking at it too long gave one the disturbing feeling that it was slowly growing larger, or perhaps one was growing smaller, slowly being drawn in.
(When Tholer was younger and less wise, he had asked whether it was a model or real. Instead of punishing him for a fool's desire for certainty, Vivec had told him every model is real and reality is but a model. Tholer had bowed his gratitude for the gift of the paradox and, ever since, had taken care not to come too near to it.)
Every detail was perfect, from the pebble that was Baar Dau floating in the south to the tiny spires of Dwemer ruins rising from Dagon Fel in the north, the thin wisps of cloud hanging above that island contrast to the thick grey mass that blotted out most of Azura's Coast (and hadn't Brother Eris, travelling back from Sadrith Mora by guild guide just today, returned with sodden robes?)...
And, of course, above all else, the Ghostfence.
Ringing Red Mountain, glowing with a fierce white light, it was absolutely unmistakeable. If Tholer listened closely, he could hear the whispered voices of all the thousands and thousands of ancestors who had given themselves over to it. It was awe-inspiring, a work of staggering scope, testament to the strength of the Dunmer people in both life and death... testament to the power of their gods.
It was – so someone who had come to this chamber over decades, someone such as the Archcanon of the Vvardenfell Temple, might notice – very, very slowly growing weaker.
"Enter."
Vivec spoke without turning around. His voice passed straight through Tholer to wrap around something behind him.
Tholer looked over his shoulder. Sister Dileno had stopped in the entranceway, eyes wide. Now, she took a trembling step forward, as if worried she would be struck down for daring to cross the threshold.
Had she ever met Vivec face-to-face like this before – not watching in a crowd as he greeted his people, not at a ceremony with all the upper ranks attending, but in a small group with no script or ritual to follow? Taking in her stunned expression, thinking back, Tholer decided she had not. Vivec left this chamber so rarely these days, anyhow.
I have spent the last several days attempting to explain to his Worship the nature of becoming predictable. To choose an example at random – should one be a god with a taste for wandering their flock in disguise, it is perhaps wise to only engage in such activities on a rare basis, or to choose a variety of guises, or in some way to prevent the situation where the clergy generally assume that at least one member of the new intake of novices will be no novice. Should one be such a god, one may want to keep in mind that the more senior members of one's followers may also wish to speak to one on occasion, and that the current situation, where the upper echelons of the Temple are in fact far less likely to see their god than the novices, can only be called 'absurd'...
Tholer pushed Noveni's words back in his mind.
"Enter, Dileno, daughter of Mundrila, of clan Lloran," Vivec repeated. His voice vibrated through Tholer's bones like the ringing of bell, pure and emotionless. "And tell me why you have come."
Out of the corner of his eye, Tholer saw Dileno throw him a desperate look as she edged into the chamber. He kept his gaze straight ahead and focused on Vivec. Knowing that in a few more decades he would need to seriously look into training a successor, Tholer kept an eye on the more promising of the mid-ranks, and the Disciple had struck him as having real potential. Time to see if that held up.
And should she prove weak, should she fall apart before their god... well.
One way or the other, she would never rise higher than her current rank.
After a moment, Dileno rallied. "My lord, this- this concerns news I received from one of your Buoyant Armigers, one Ervesa Romandas."
"Ervesa. Yes." Vivec's head dipped, as though he were deep in thought. Still he had not turned around; as was becoming more and more common, almost all his attention was fixed on the Ghostfence. "I am aware of her discovery of the Sharmat's plot in Ald'ruhn."
Should that be why you disturb me. He did not say it, but Tholer could hear the words ring in the silence.
Dileno licked her lips. "My lord, it- it is true this was the most urgent news she brought. However, there was... something else. She did not see its importance. In truth-" Dileno paused for a moment, then plunged in. "In truth, I do not either."
Good. Very good. Admit your ignorance, for to Almsivi we are all ignorant. Pride has no place before the gods.
Vivec did not visibly react.
"But- my Lord, I had been given to understand that you wished to be informed immediately and in person should any of your servants meet or hear of anyone suffering from the affliction known as 'Ledd's Syndrome', or showing any of its signs."
Dileno pronounced the alien term carefully, unable to keep a faint trace of bewilderment from her voice. Tholer knew she must think such a minor oddity a very strange thing indeed for Lord Vivec to concern himself with. He remembered puzzling over it himself when he had learned of the directive, an unexplained mystery....
Unexplained, until he became Patriarch and was made privy to the last, most terrible secrets of the Tribunal.
Vivec's motion upon the dais stopped.
For a terrifying moment, the Ghostfence dimmed to near-darkness. Then it snapped back to full strength. Tholer, who felt as though his heart had skipped a beat with it, had to suppress a sigh of relief. Dileno was discreet enough – no one prone to gossip would make it to her current position – but some things shouldn't be risked all the same.
Better for all if no doubt was cast on the idea that Almsivi were all-powerful and the Ghostfence impenetrable.
"You are certain?" Something new had entered Vivec's voice. Dileno would almost certainly not recognise it, but after working with his god closely for decades Tholer could name it urgency.
"I- yes, my lord. I, I spoke to the girl affected myself, to confirm the report. A clanless outlander, newly arrived in Vvardenfell. By the name of Adryn."
Vivec turned to face them, power blazing from his eyes. His gaze passed over Tholer to rest on Dileno, frozen in what looked to be mingled terror and ecstasy by their god's full attention.
(Perhaps not suitable after all.)
"Tell me everything."
Not far from the palace of Vivec, in a cell attached to the Hall of Justice in the High Fane, a Dunmer girl slept. Her cot was not much softer than the stone of the floor, but that had not kept her awake. Perhaps Adryn was not so long out of prison to have forgotten how to catch a nap at any available opportunity, perhaps exhaustion had overwhelmed all discomfort, or indeed perhaps some strange power was at play... in any case, she lay curled up on the cot, straw poking out from the thin pillow to tangle in her red hair, eyes closed, mouthing words in her dreams.
If her guard had listened closely, he might have found something to puzzle over. The words she whispered were not Tamrielic, but how was it that an outlander girl newly come to Vvardenfell should speak Chimeris, the ancient forebear of Dunmeris long consigned to dusty tomes? How was it that her mouth should form the words Dumac and Alandro Sul and Almalexia, form so many names from worship and history and legend, with such familiarity?
But the guard was leaning against the wall in the opposite end of the corridor, having glanced into the girl's cell only briefly earlier in the night. He'd been friends with Selman, close friends, and was afraid of what he might do if forced to stay near his rumoured killer. For the sake of duty and honour over vengeance, he had to keep his distance.
And so he did not listen, did not see, and the mystery remained for another day.
Chapter 13: Chapter Twelve
Chapter Text
One week.
Sitting on my cot in my new cell, I couldn't help imagining Elone's face at this turn of events. The scout I'd met that first day in Seyda Neen, who'd kindly refrained from turning me in to the guards when she'd seen me stealing, had seemed rather doubtful of my ability to stay out of trouble very long. I couldn't quite decide if she'd be smug or disappointed now... or which of the two would be worse.
One single week of freedom, and I was back in prison again.
And any pathetic defense I could muster (among others that it had not been a week, it had been eight days, thank you very much) crumpled before the force of precisely what accusation had brought me back here.
You are under arrest for the murder of Ordinator Selman Relas...
Although the event had come as something of a surprise, a few days to cool my heels and inspect my new home (much the same as the old home, and still no potted plant to boot) had made it clear to me what had happened...
...and I could truly have kicked myself for my stupidity.
Let us imagine for a moment that we are Jobasha. This is of course a difficult task, as Jobasha would no doubt make it clear that he is ever so much more intelligent, crafty, and – of course! - handsome than we are. Nevertheless, we shall give it our best effort.
So. On Loredas, Jobasha meets a friend of his Ajira's, a Dunmer girl with red hair... a fugitive from the Skyrim Thieves' Guild, Jobasha happens to know, as she is accused of terrible things by the Thief-King. But it does not quite add up, to Jobasha, the skittish, frightened, harmless girl in front of him and the gruesome tales he has heard, and he is not at all fond of the Thief-King. So instead of turning her in, he puts the fear of Vaermina in her, gives her a task to do and watches her flee his presence, prepared to sit back, watch and judge.
Half an hour later, the guard knocks on his door. There has been a murder, right outside his door. An Ordinator has been most cruelly slain. Does Jobasha know anything? Did he hear anything? Did he, perhaps, see a suspicious person pass by?
Well, Jobasha did have a customer, half an hour ago, one who has tales of bloody murder following her already. And although he thought them lies, although he looked the girl in the eye and decided she did not have a killer in her... how sure is he of his judgement, really?
Not sure enough to lie to the Ordinators, certainly.
Now, we turn to Jobasha's neighbour, one Andilu Drothan who keeps an alchemy store. Ordinarily, Adryn would never have let such a thing pass her by, but at that time she was very focused on getting back to Balmora as soon as possible and so missed the sign. A shocking thing indeed, and no doubt her day was much poorer for that fact, but as this means she did not enter his shop and never came to meet him one might think him irrelevant in this matter...
Except that, on the afternoon of that fateful Loredas, Andilu found himself feeling the need for a breath of fresh air. He had had no customers for a while now, the shop was stuffy and dark, and he felt the urge to get out for a little. His finances, he decided, were in good enough a state that he could afford to close early, today. And so he opened the door to his shop, thinking of taking a stroll along the northern shore, perhaps-
-and saw an Ordinator lying on the floor in a pool of blood, and a woman holding a bloodied dagger. Perhaps she was staring at a corner intently, angrily, as though something there had just escaped from her; perhaps there was even the spark of free magicka in the air from a just-cast spell. If so, such subtleties escaped Andilu, who found himself far more focused on screaming. At which point the woman ran away, the guards arrived, and the corpse remained where it was.
When questioned, Andilu did remember that the woman was a Dunmer with red hair.
These two accounts together, one has to admit, form something of a damning picture. Especially so because our friend Andilu, as we have seen, does not exactly have the best eye for detail. Imagine, for instance, if he had had the state of mind to note that the murderer's hair was in fact a bloody crimson – quite a different shade from Adryn's coppery orange, even if both may be labelled 'red'! Or that the murderer was well into adulthood, perhaps the equivalent of thirty-five years of age in a Nord or Imperial, whereas Adryn is not quite out of her teens. Alas, he did not, and so his description and Jobasha's agreed.
All of which might still have ended without a prison stay if I had just stopped and thought for a moment.
After all, in Morrowind I was a perfectly innocent ordinary citizen, no bounty on my head, no reason not to go to the guards if I should, for instance, be witness to one Master Grumpy's murder and narrowly escape the culprit's rage myself. I could have reported the incident to the guards in Ald'ruhn, in Balmora, provided those vitally important pieces missing from the narrative Jobasha and Andilu had created between them, without which the entire picture was terribly distorted...
But no. I'd become entirely focused on the various other problems facing me. These, to be fair, were not inconsiderable, ranging from naked Nords over angry Redoran noblemen and mind-controlling statues to Varvur, who formed a category all by himself... but nevertheless, I could have given the actual murder I'd witnessed a little more attention. Instead, I'd done my best to forget it had ever happened.
A course of action that, so I had been reliably informed, was profoundly suspicious.
A loud creaking noise came from the direction of the cell door. Torn out of my self-pity, I jerked my head upright just in time to see the Ordinator I'd dubbed Trebonius II for his intelligence, acumen and wit nudge it open.
"Follow me, prisoner. And no funny business."
I refrained from asking exactly what he thought I could get up to with my hands bound and a magicka-draining bracer on my wrist. Sometimes, even I realise I'm in deep enough that it's time to stop digging.
Besides, he'd been less than amused when I'd asked him yesterday.
I followed the guard down the hallway that had grown increasingly familiar since my arrest. It looked much like the ones I'd trekked along on the way to the cleansing chamber, and I suspected we were still in the High Fane.
Which was, I hoped, a good sign.
It was pretty clear that the Fane was set up as organisational headquarters and spiritual hub for the Temple, not a prison – especially since there was only one other cell near mine and it was empty. No, the area I was in must be a processing area for new arrests... which, combined with the lengthy questioning Trebonius II had repeatedly subjected me to, meant I was still under investigation rather than convicted. (I'd also like to assume this was the case since I couldn't remember any sort of trial, but I admit to some amount of cynicism as far as judicial systems are concerned.) In short, I still had a chance of talking myself out of this.
If only my story weren't so cursed flimsy.
We reached our destination, the small room off the main hallway that was serving as the interrogation chamber. As always, I breathed a quiet sigh of relief to discover none of the implements one might associate with such a thing were present.
"Sit."
I took a seat on the indicated stool, fighting the urge to squirm. I hated having a door to my back in an unfamiliar environment. No doubt it was the reason for the setup.
"Now." Trebonius II looked me head to toe, disgusted scowl making clear he considered me on about the same level as vermin. Dead, rotting vermin. It was an expression I'd grown rather familiar with over the past days. "Why did you kill Selman?"
Despite the situation, I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Seriously, did the mer really think I'd just blurt out a confession if caught off-guard? After it hadn't worked the previous twelve times? If he continued along those lines, I might have to downgrade him from Trebonius to... cliff racers were too clever... some form of algae, maybe. If he didn't watch himself at that point, Varvur might find himself getting competition.
"I didn't kill the man." I couldn't keep the asperity from creeping into my tone. "As I've already told you, I saw the whole thing and the murderer is a Dunmer woman. Crimson hair, taller and older than me, had some sort of enchanted dagger. I only just managed to get away from her myself by teleporting out."
"A likely story," the possible Algae-brain bit out. His hand clenched on the hilt of his mace as he stepped forward until I had to crane my head back awkwardly to keep him in view.
A classic guard strategy, this. Act like you're on the verge of losing your temper, get close enough to seated prisoner to make the height difference really apparent... intimidate them through the combination of looming and the threat of violence. No, it wasn't the first time I'd been on the receiving end of 'put the fear of the appropriate god into suspect, mark I'.
Sadly, that didn't mean it didn't still work.
"So this mysterious woman simply came from nowhere and stabbed a respected Ordinator while he was talking to you," Algae-brain growled. (The tone was a nice addition to the classic intimidation pose, I had to admit.) "A woman whom we have no other reports of, who even by your account had no apparent motive. You, on the other hand – you, the outlander who was already involved in an argument with Selman that day, who even admits to getting into another with him directly before the murder – are entirely innocent. You were in fact almost a victim, but only escaped through a teleportation accident... an accident, the likes of which I've never heard of before and which my Mysticism instructor stated to be flat-out impossible." A deep breath. "Girl, do you think I'm stupid?"
Well, that question put me in a difficult position.
On the one hand, although I am generally in favour of lying to law enforcement, I did have to admit that doing it in my current situation would be idiotic – quite possibly terminally so. On the other, giving my honest assessment of Trebonius II – no, he was definitely Algae-brain by now – at any rate, giving my honest assessment of his intelligence was unlikely to improve matters for me.
I'd just opened my mouth to attempt an answer when I heard the door open behind me.
"Elam! I said I wasn't to be interrupted-"
Situated with my back to the door as I was, I couldn't see who'd just entered, although the sound of the footsteps suggested at least three people. I could however see Algae-brain throw a death glare at whoever had dared interrupt, face twisting in fury...
...then going very pale as he opened and closed his mouth wordlessly.
Surely he wouldn't kill me for a quick peek?
The people (all Dunmer, and one day that would stop being surprising) now filing into the chamber didn't look familiar. Two of them were also wearing Ordinator armour, although like Algae-brain they'd doffed the helmets. One was a thin-faced man who carried himself with a distinct air of authority, one a girl I judged around my age with tattoos on her face who walked with an odd dragging step.
They were followed by a man with cropped dark hair in very expensive-looking robes, a mace made out of some dark metal – wait, was that ebony? - hanging rather incongruously at his side. Where the two Ordinators had ignored me entirely, he glanced at me and winked.
Hope began to bloom in my chest. I tried to squash it. The man might be on my side – or at least ready to act as if he was – but I had no idea who he was or whether he'd just make the situation even worse.
...to be fair, at this point managing to make it worse would be something of an accomplishment.
"Brother Elam. Sister Nedeni." Algae-brain said stiffly. After a pause, he sank into a bow. "...Councilor Sarethi."
Sarethi? I twisted around to look behind me again.
Yes, on a closer look I could see a resemblance there. And hadn't Varvur said his father was on some sort of council?
Considering what I'd done for his son, it wasn't even particularly surprising if he'd decided he owed me one. I knew I'd gladly forgo a reward in favour of him getting me out of here, one way or another.
Well, then. It was time to hope Varvur had gotten his brains from his mother.
But it was the male Ordinator who spoke first.
"Brother Suryn. How... good to see you." I definitely hadn't imagined that pause. "I'll have to mention your initiative to Brother Berel. It's not any mer who'd not just arrest a suspect but also interrogate them without any orders to that regard."
The tone was light, friendly, collegial. All the same, I could read the message here.
So, it seemed, could Algae-brain. This close, I could hear him grind his teeth. "The report came in on Middas. You were away – performing a 'forensic-magical investigation of the crime scene', Sister Felmena said-" those skeptical quotes were audible, "and the information needed to be acted on urgently." A grudging pause. "My message must have gone astray."
Oh, I'd bet it had.
Also, veiled meanings or no, should these two really be doing this in front of me? The suspect? Kyne knew Charon, Ingerte and I had kept closed ranks in front of outsiders, and there are more similarities between running a successful enterprise of guardsmen and one of criminals than one might think. I opened my mouth-
No, a little voice said in my head. (I suspected it was the little-heard voice of my self-preservation.) Interrupting in order to tell my current jailors how they were doing law enforcement wrong was unlikely to end well for me.
"-make sure to mention that to Brother Berel. For now, I'd like to question the girl myself," the newer idiot was saying.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and leave him as 'Andas' for now. After all, it might just be forced conversation with Algae-brain causing the current spate of stupidity.
Said mer went purple, but couldn't seem to find a reason to protest. He gave a jerky nod, then stepped back and folded his arms.
"Right. Adryn, wasn't it?"
That was definitely directed at me. With a quick glance at Algae-brain to make sure he wouldn't take violent exception, I shuffled around on the stool until I was facing the newcomers. "Ah, yes. That's me."
"I'm Elam Andas, in charge of the investigation into the Vivec murders. This is my assistant, Nedeni Tenim." He nodded at the girl who'd entered with him. "Can you please recount for me the events of this past Loredas as you saw them, starting from the point where you left the shop belonging to the Khajiit Jobasha?"
Andas proved a far more congenial listener than Algae-brain, or at least willing to consider a sequence of events that did not include me killing the unfortunate Master Grumpy. Where Algae-brain had scoffed at or entirely ignored my explanations, he probed for more details.
Exactly how had Master Grumpy reacted after being injured by the dagger? Had I been able to make out the predominant school of the enchantment? (I remembered the malevolent red glitter of the blade, visible even through the blood, as if it were before me. Destruction magic – it had to be.)
How long had it taken me to get off the teleportation spell? Where had I ended up?
"Come now," Algae-brain interrupted at this point. He'd wandered to stand beside the others, and although part of me was glad not to have him at my back another part wished he'd stayed back. His facial expressions made it very hard to concentrate on my account. Now was a perfect example. "You can't possible believe her story!"
Andas gave the man a long, slow look. I wondered if he shared my assessment of Algae-brain's intelligence.
But it was the girl who spoke next. "Actually, it corroborates what we've found – there are definite traces of Mystic magic throughout the scene, leading to a knot of energy in a corner." Much like her walk, there was a slur to her speech, making her sound almost as if she were drunk. Palsy, I suspected. "I'd have called it a successful Recall spell, except that the connection to the endpoint was all twisted up and the shape of the residue was wrong. I'd never seen anything like it before..." Her voice trailed off as she seemed to notice everyone was looking at her. "Um. Begging your pardon, Brother Elam, Councilor Sarethi."
Algae-brain sneered. "You expect me to take that as supporting evidence?"
"As it happens," Varvur's father spoke for the first time, "my son can confirm her difficulties with teleportation, being present for a second... incident along those lines." His voice was mild, but Algae-brain shut his mouth with a snap.
Just how important was Varvur's family, anyway?
So it went on. Andas listened to my description of the way the murderer had acted, her slow gait, her words (Dagoth Ur does not want you here, outlander-), with a pensive frown. On my own part, I found myself drawing certain rather horrifying connections between her behaviour (strange, off, as if she were sleepwalking, as if she were being Controlled) and the statues – ash statues, that priestess had called them – where one had made Varvur kill his best friend. What if...
...well, there was nothing I could do about it in any case, and I didn't think anyone here wanted to hear my speculation. All I could do was stress that she hadn't seemed entirely in control of her actions. And although Andas' face gave nothing away, a glance at Varvur's father made it clear he'd spotted the potential connection here.
We moved to my alibi for the other murders, which Andas also took a lot more seriously than Algae-brain – especially once Sarethi senior mentioned that he'd spoken with Socucius Ergalla and I was indeed on record as having been released from prison in Imperial City into Morrowind on the nineteenth of Hearthfire. As the prison stay in question had begun in Evening Star of the year before, I could not possibly have killed someone in Vivec earlier this year, much less on five separate occasions.
"Well- well- maybe it's a gang, and she joined late!"
Andas raised an eyebrow. "Why, does that mean you do believe her story about the other woman involved after all?"
"No- I mean- I..."
There was a long pause, in which Algae-brain seemed to deflate. Eventually, he said, "All right. Suppose you're right, and she didn't do it. Who is this mysterious other suspect, where did she even come from, and what's her motive for killing Selman supposed to be?"
The fury was gone from his voice, and in its absence I could hear a thread of something else underlying it. Not expecting it, it took me a moment to identify it as grief.
Why would he be-
Oh.
He and Master Grumpy had been friends.
The events of the last few days suddenly fell into a whole new pattern. No wonder he'd been so eager to interrogate me, no wonder he'd resisted the idea that I was in fact innocent. He'd wanted to believe he'd found his friend's killer, that she was safely behind bars.
I felt a twinge of sympathy and immediately attempted to suffocate it. Really, empathy for law enforcement, how low was I planning to sink?
Andas heaved a sigh. "Exactly what I'm attempting to work out. Although as far as her motive goes, her reported words really speak for themselves, wouldn't you say?"
"Dagoth Ur doesn't want you here..." the girl repeated in a whisper.
Found you!
The memory of my nightmare suddenly came back to me, and despite myself, I couldn't help a sudden, hard flinch.
Andas gave me a long glance, then turned back to Algae-brain. "As for where to find her now... I have a suspicion. We've had some other reports of a woman behaving strangely in Vivec Canton that may be connected, and the location of the murder is... possibly telling. However, I don't believe the presence of muthsera Adryn is required for this discussion."
My ears perked at that, and I felt a sudden surge of hope. If this Andas believed me, maybe they'd let me go?
That hope was cruelly deflated when Algae-brain said, "I'll return her to her cell, then."
Andas nodded, not even looking up. "For the best, I believe. She is still a suspect, if an unlikely one, and in any case protective custody may be wise-"
"-actually, if you don't mind, I'll take charge of her."
What?
Sarethi, who'd inserted himself into the conversation as deftly as any master con-man, continued before anyone could get a word in edgewise. "I have some things to discuss with her." He gave me a searching look – I glared back, more out of reflex than anything else – and nodded to himself. "Over lunch, I should think."
"Now wait a minute-"
"Unless you have any particular objections to my ability to guard her?" Sarethi's eyes were very sharp as they rested on Algae-brain. "Or, perhaps, you do not trust my word?"
His voice was light, careless even, but all the same that question had 'trap' written all over it in letters so big even the rapidly paling Algae-brain could read them.
"None of us would dare doubt your honour, Councilor Sarethi," Andas intervened. "And as she is no longer a likely suspect, I am happy to release her into your custody."
"Very well," Sarethi said. "We'll be at the Flowers of Gold, should you have need of us."
Didn't I get a say in any of this?
I didn't bother asking, the answer was that obvious.
I stared at my bowl.
It had become quickly apparent that I and House-Father Athyn Sarethi, highly honoured member of the High Council of House Redoran, had very different ideas of what constituted an acceptable lunch. I'd been prepared to get something to go off a street vendor, the same as I'd done last time I was in Vivec. I'd even been ready to upgrade to a tavern or one of the cheaper eateries if necessary. Sarethi senior, on the other hand, made a beeline straight for what my trained eyes made out to be the most expensive restaurant in the Foreign Canton, all protests, swearing, and expressed worry that I might be struck by lightning on setting foot over the doorstep on my part in vain.
I nudged the bowl. Its contents rippled innocently. To my eyes, said contents looked like soup (done up fancy with toasted bread cubes and sage, true, but still soup), and the side that had come with it like sliced bread. It was in fact, or so the disgruntled server had informed me, a velouté of bolete and caramelised échalottes, accompanied by genuine Iliac ficelle. The information had left me feeling very uncertain of what, exactly, I was about to eat, but relatively confident I'd just tripled my Bretic vocabulary in one go.
"It's not going to bite."
Startled, I glanced up. On the other side of the table, Athyn Sarethi was watching me with every evidence of amusement.
"In fact," he continued, "I believe the idea is that it's the other way around."
"Very funny," I grumbled and took a spoonful of the too-fancy-to-be-soup.
It tasted...
One of the professional traits of the alchemist is a very finely-honed sense of taste. Some days, that proved an active disadvantage. (Every day I'd ever spent in prison, among others.) Today was not one of them.
The earthy taste of what I judged to be some sort of unfamiliar mushroom was perfectly accentuated by a hint of sweetness. The soup was incredibly smooth and creamy, with not a lump to be found. I'd spent hours with my mortar and pestle without getting nearly as fine a texture – I was tempted to rush into the kitchen and beg the chef for his secrets. After swallowing, the taste faded to be replaced by...
Just as a finely-honed sense of taste is a necessary skill for an alchemist, one specifically for alcohol can be a useful one for a thief, even a thief who'd rather down an experimental brew than a glass of wine. After all, it can be very handy to know if a dusty bottle rescued from a cellar can be sold on to a collector or is only suitable for scouring a pot, or – failing that – Saturnalia. Apparently, the cook and I had rather different opinions on the matter of Cyrodiilic brandy. I, personally, would have sought out a suitable trader with the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing I could expect at least a septim for my prize. Judging by the aftertaste now lingering on my tongue, they however thought it belonged in soup.
Said soup was probably the most delicious thing I'd ever eaten, but that amounted to not quite delicious enough to get rid of the nagging feeling that I was currently consuming something that cost more money than we'd used to spend on food for the entire week. Then again, I didn't think anything could have been.
Sarethi ate a spoonful of his own soup with every evidence of enjoyment. "Fedura has outdone herself this time. I will have to make certain to send my compliments to the kitchen."
"...right." I stopped myself from elaborating by crunching down on a crisped sage leaf. It tasted divine, and whatever thoughts might currently be going through my head about the sort of people who not only went to the fanciest restaurant in town but knew the chef by name were better kept to myself.
Sarethi pinned me with a long, searching look. I had the horrible feeling that said thoughts were not nearly as secret as I'd hoped to keep them. I was almost ready to preemptively apologise when he shook his head. I glanced down, happy to break eye contact. I'd never realised how disconcerting it was to be stared at by a pair of red eyes – I suddenly found myself with a smidgen more sympathy for the people back in Skyrim who'd had a hard time meeting my own.
My gaze fell on the heavy metal bracer clamped around my wrist, making me uncomfortably aware of the drain at my empty magicka pool. Although the Ordinators had done me the favour of unbinding my hands, they hadn't been kind enough to unlock the bracer, or for that matter offer an alternative to my rough prison clothes – I honestly had to marvel at the fact that the bouncer had even let me in. That thought led my mind to a matter that was admittedly far more urgent than Sarethi's patronage of a place where I had neither enough money nor lineage to get in as a dishwasher.
"Um. Could you be honest with me about something?"
Sarethi put his spoon down. "I wouldn't dream of being anything else."
He was really pushing this true and honourable image for all it was worth. Well, I supposed Varvur had to get it from somewhere.
"What do you think my chance is of walking away from this mess?" I gestured at my clothing to indicate my current status. It was a very careful motion; I was relatively sure that spilling even a drop of the soup must qualify as a capital crime, and I was in more than enough trouble in that regard already.
"Ah, you're still worried. Not particularly surprising, I suppose." Sarethi's voice dropped, becoming quiet and intense. "It's really not necessary. I know Elam Andas fairly well, and he's a true bloodhound when it comes to criminals. He'd never brook an innocent being imprisoned. And he's well on the scent right now. With the information you gave them, I wouldn't be surprised if they have the culprit under lock and key before we finish lunch."
He smiled at me reassuringly. My smile back was significantly more wobbly. Needless to say, this was not how my past experiences with law enforcement had gone. Not even when I was in fact innocent. No, in my experience guards tend to be satisfied as long as they have someone to arrest for a crime. Questions like "are they actually guilty?" are viewed as unimportant hairsplitting – and, in Skyrim, certainly a concern secondary to being able to pin the crime on a suspicious foreigner like a Dark Elf instead of one of their own countrymen.
What if-
"In any case, there's nothing more you can do about it now," Sarethi interrupted my fretting. "Now that we've cleared that up, why don't you eat your soup? It would be a real shame to let it go cold."
Truer words were never spoken.
We ate in silence that may have been comfortable on Sarethi senior's part, but certainly wasn't on mine. Although I had to admit that the food helped.
I'd hardly finished with the soup when the waiter brought the next course – Hammerfell-influenced, this time, so easier to recognise thanks to Charon's culinary experiments... although Charon would probably have sold his soul to the Daedra to be able to cook this well. Or with some of these ingredients. (Seriously, saffron?) At that point, I'd decided that the likely price of the food simply made it all the more important that it not go to waste and turned to the tagine with its side of harcha with gusto.
Eventually, the plates were cleared away and replaced by small cups of steaming dark liquid. Anywhere else, I'd have assumed tea or coffee, but I suspected that would be far too ordinary for this place. Sarethi senior took a sip, then put the cup down with a clink. "So."
"So?" I asked warily.
"So, Varvur told me what you did for him." A pause, then, "Words cannot express how truly grateful I am."
Embarrassed by the intensity in his voice, I stared down at my own drink. "It was..."
Nothing, I almost said, except that given the amount of trouble helping Varvur had got me into that would be such a colossal lie I didn't think I'd be able to say it with a straight face.
Instead, I changed the subject. "Well, I also have to thank you for helping me today." After a moment, I added, "...sir."
This addition was of course a matter of pure calculation, as I was certainly not intimidated in any way at all.
"Oh, call me Athyn," the most noble and honourable Councilor of House Redoran replied. And yes, that wasn't going to be happening. "And it was nothing." His dismissive wave indicated that he, at least, was being honest. "You were innocent, it was my duty. And Elam Andas would always have gotten involved eventually, and he'd have brought out the truth of things. I just... hastened matters a little."
Spoken like someone who'd never truly been on the wrong end of law enforcement, I thought, hiding the grimace on my face behind by taking a sip from my drink.
As expected, it wasn't coffee. Instead, it was a rich, sweet, decadently creamy liquid with a spicy aftertaste that left tingles on my tongue. At a guess, I would say that I was drinking xocolatl – and it had to be a guess because the price of the Black Marsh delicacy meant trying it had always been well outside my means.
"...without your help," Sarethi was saying, "I honestly don't know what would have happened to Varvur. And from what he's said, you went to some trouble to clear his name."
"It's been cleared, then?" I asked. "I mean, I'd hoped the evidence we put together would be enough, but I haven't exactly been able to keep abreast of the news in the last few days."
"It has," Sarethi confirmed. "Disciple Dileno Lloran gave an affidavit that in her expert experience, he wasn't in control of his actions at the time due to malevolent influence exerted by a malignant item. A squad from the Temple retrieved it from my home – we're still shut out of the living quarters. I'd be annoyed at the inconvenience, but one has to think on the alternatives... at any rate, at that point even the Archmaster couldn't argue against Varvur. He was declared innocent of all wrong-doing in the death of Bralen Carvaren two days ago."
"Good," I said, meaning it. Much as I disliked Varvur, no one deserved what had happened to him. At least he'd be able to go back to his life now.
Even if, as I knew all too bitterly, he'd probably be willing to give it all up in a heartbeat if it would return his friend to him.
"And I doubt it would have happened without you." Sarethi paused for a moment, then said, "Clan Sarethi owes you a debt, Adryn of no clan."
There was an odd weight to the words, and as he spoke he raised his hands so his index fingers framed his eyes. The gesture combined with the words seemed... formal, ritualistic almost. I'd hoped to be repaid for my actions in good, solid coin and then left to go my own way, but in that moment I began to suspect Sarethi was not going to let this whole thing go so easily.
Honourable types can be very difficult like that – all 'money cannot possibly be repayment enough', when anyone who has ever been poor will tell you that a large enough amount of money can be suitable repayment for any number of things, when it's really flagrantly obvious that you're at such different places in life that any closer involvement between you is likely to end very badly. But no. Instead of a sack of drakes (or a sack of xocolatl, which I might from now on be willing to accept as alternative payment), they offer something entirely unsuitable, like...
"As such," Sarethi said, "I'd like you to know that it would be my honour to sponsor you as a new member of House Redoran."
...like that.
"I don't think I understand." More accurately, I was really, really hoping I hadn't understood.
"For us natives, we are born into our House. However, it is also possible for outlanders to be adopted into one, if they are considered worthy. There are five Great Houses in total, three of them present on Vvardenfell. There is Hlaalu – merchants and traders, who have power around the Ascadian Isles, the Bitter Coast and southern West Gash. Balmora is a Hlaalu town. Then Telvanni, in the eastern part of the island, the Grazelands and Azura's Coast. They value magical ability and power. Finally, my own Redoran, present in the northern West Gash and the Ashlands. We're..."
"...warriors," I broke in, remembering Varvur's words with growing incredulity. "Concerned with honour and justice and fair fights and- you want me to join? You have got to be joking!" I noticed a woman at a neighbouring table turn her head our way and remembered to keep my voice down. "Varvur must have told you that I'm a-" I mentally rifled through the many, many things Varvur had called me for something suitably off-putting, "a dishonourable coward-"
"Varvur did have some complaints along those lines, yes," Sarethi said, not visibly ruffled despite my rather hostile reaction. "However, I prefer to make up my own mind."
"Well, I'm confirming his stories now. I'm selfish, I'm an unrepentant criminal, and I think the whole obsession with honour you lot seem to have going is an illness of the mind. Sheogorath probably has something to do with it," I snapped.
"Really." Still appearing entirely calm, despite the fact that this complaint had managed to get Varvur so fired up he'd lost the ability to speak and had resorted to indistinct angry noises. What did it take to rile the man? "Well then. If you're such a hardened, cynical sort, you're right – you wouldn't fit in well with House Redoran at all. However, in that case I'm sure you'll be able to explain some things to me."
"Go ahead." I leaned back and crossed my arms, feeling rather nettled. The sooner I managed to talk the man out of this absolutely terrible idea, the better.
A slight smile appeared on Sarethi's face. I had the sudden, horrible feeling I'd wandered into a trap.
"Something Varvur was rather unclear on, I have to admit, was why you chose to help him in the first place. You could have left him in the cell in Venim's manor, or failing that entered Ald'ruhn with your other companions. But you chose to get involved on his behalf, putting yourself at no little risk to do so. Varvur said you denied doing it for the prospect of a reward, but claimed yourself moved by his plight. Now, I make no great claim to wisdom and insight, but to me that sounds almost... honourable. Perhaps you can shed some light?"
Blood on my hands-
"Momentary insanity," I said stiffly, pushing the memories away.
"Mmm. Of course." Why was the man still smiling? "There's also the matter of this." His hand slipped into his robe and came out holding a very familiar-looking glass dagger. "My nephew's most treasured possession – losing it has driven him almost to distraction. You have no idea how relieved he'll be when I give it back to him. You returned it to our family unprompted, without even asking a finder's fee. Why?"
Really, why hadn't I asked a finder's fee? Too rattled by the nightmarish scene in Hanarai's house, not thinking straight. As for why I'd returned it...
"Varvur mentioned where it was from, and hanging on to a stolen gift from a god seemed like an all-around bad idea. At that point I figured I might as well give it back." A perfectly rational course of action, as far as I was concerned. Altruism certainly had nothing to do with it.
"Interesting. I would've imagined a hardened criminal like yourself might instead have sold it on and left the buyer to deal with any retribution. Clearly I don't properly understand the mindset."
I ground my teeth. So I'd overlooked a course of action. It happened!
Also... that was sarcasm, if I was any judge. How was this fair? How could the universe permit it that a man who'd spawned Varvur, of all people, was using sarcasm against me?
Sarethi sipped his drink, closing his eyes in clear appreciation. Any hope that he'd been effectively distracted from the current topic was thoroughly destroyed when he put the cup down and went on. "Now, as it so happens I also had a nice long talk with young Armiger Romandas. A real credit to her clan, that one. And I must say, she had some quite interesting things to say about how you met." A pause. "Did you really attempt to rescue a traveller from a kagouti?"
Silently, I cursed Ervesa, who clearly had never before heard of the word discretion.
"Rescue isn't the word I'd have used," I defended myself, "especially since no one had told me kagouti were going to be involved. Believe me, if I'd known, I'd have happily left the man to his fate. All his friend asked me to do was look for him – hardly a great task." I remembered the amulet. "Besides, there was a reward!"
"Which, according to Armiger Romandas, you didn't know about until she gave it to you. She said it sounded like you volunteered to help out of... what was it... 'the goodness of your heart.'" Sarethi stared at me, eyebrows raised.
"It wasn't like that at all! He just..."
I cast my mind back to the Bosmer who'd asked me to look for his friend. As I remembered, there'd been actual tears involved.
"He... just... looked so pathetic that I offered to help out of sheer embarrassment for him."
Very convincing, Adryn.
"Really." Sarethi's eyebrows hadn't lowered at all, and the corner of his mouth was twitching. I suspected he was fighting laughter, which frankly was at least as unfair as his being capable of sarcasm. "I suppose the same was true for the pilgrim you guided to Lake Amaya, then?"
"I was going that way anyway! And she-"
I cut myself off, all too aware I was just digging myself in deeper. Took a deep breath.
"Look," I said when I felt reasonably calm again. "I see how you might have... misunderstood. But these are exceptional situations! I assure you that on a day-to-day basis, I'm entirely selfish and cold-hearted. I don't go around helping people or anything-"
"Ah! There is the smooth-skin, where has it been? Miun-Gei has been looking for it!"
Both of us looked up at the interruption. While we'd been engaged in conversation, an Argonian had approached our table... a familiar Argonian.
"Er-"
"Miun-Gei owes you thanks, so many thanks!"
Yes, Miun-Gei had been the name, the enchanter to whom I'd tried to sell my amulet (and thank Stendarr I hadn't in the end!), the one who'd been suffering from an outbreak of loiterers with bardic pretensions. He certainly seemed a great deal happier than the last time I'd seen him.
"Not long after it visited, men came to speak to the buffoon," Miun-Gei was saying now. "Said she had been recommended for participation in Crassius Curio's acting troupe, that a passing Dunmer had given them his name. The buffoon left and has not been back, Miun-Gei's shop is quiet again, Miun-Gei can do business again!"
"Wha-"
Before I could get the word out, Miun-Gei had distracted me by grabbing my hand and shaking it firmly. "You have no idea how grateful he is, what sort of drastic measures it was contemplating before you came to assist. The smooth-skin must come to its shop soon, soon! Miun-Gei has a gift for her, and from now on he will only be given the very best prices."
And then the Argonian was gone.
I buried my face in my hands. Sadly, that didn't in any way help drown out the sound of the honoured Councilor of Great House Redoran collapsing into laughter across from me.
"It's not funny," I hissed, but that only made him laugh harder.
It took Sarethi what was in my opinion a truly unnecessarily long time to get his laughter under control, but eventually he managed. "So. You were telling me about how you don't go around helping people?"
"That- I don't..."
I trailed off, unable to find a way to finish the sentence.
I was really out of excuses, wasn't I.
I swallowed, facing my utter defeat. "I... may be suffering from an unfortunate case of altruism." The words came with a great deal of reluctance. "I've tried to keep it in check, I really have, but I'm still prone to outbreaks if I don't pay attention. It's really rather shameful. I don't like to talk about it."
And that right there was a great deal more honest than I'd have liked to be with a near-stranger, damn Sarethi for driving me to this point.
"I think that has to be the most interesting way I've ever heard a strong sense of empathy described." Sarethi had finally managed to collect himself, but there was still amusement in his voice. It vanished as he continued. "I'd be quite grateful if, one day, you told me who exactly taught you that kindness is a weakness. I think we would have... a great many things to discuss."
The smile that graced Sarethi's lips now had no trace of mirth in it. I let my gaze fall to the table, feeling raw and exposed.
"Another day, perhaps," Sarethi said after a few moments of silence. "For now... I believe you were telling me about how your selfish, dishonourable nature made you unsuitable for House Redoran?"
Mockery, now. I was almost starting to think this was some form of twisted revenge of his on Varvur's part.
"So I may have exaggerated a little. But..."
I gathered myself. Even with my unfortunate affliction taken into account, Sarethi's proposal was still a terrible idea. I could at least argue that, couldn't I?
"Are you seriously telling me that I'd be respected, in House Redoran? I've heard Varvur talk about the place, you can't tell me that the ideal isn't the, you know," I waved a hand in the air vaguely, "serious honest warrior type. You may think I have honour," an idea that still made me cringe, "but do you really think they would?"
"Perhaps they wouldn't. But they should. Honour comes in more forms than the obvious, after all, and it's a true failure of the House that so few of its members recognise that." Sarethi's voice was passionate, earnest... this was a subject very dear to his heart, it seemed.
Something clicked. In my head, everything the man had said in the course of this conversation, everything he'd implied, slid into a whole new arrangement.
"Oh." My voice was flat. I didn't like the picture before me. "You're planning to use me to further your agenda. Sponsor the outlander alchemist who couldn't defeat a blind elderly mudcrab in fair combat into the house, declare you think she's just as worthy as the warriors... nice idea. I have to say, though, that being the outlander in question doesn't sound like much of a reward."
Sarethi's eyebrows drew together, and he sat back abruptly. "That's not-"
He stopped, a scowl still on his face.
...yes, it looked like I'd managed to offend the other very important Redoran noble I'd met as well. Great going, Adryn. Calling him out had not been the smartest thing I'd ever done, even if I could point to truly extreme provocation in my defense.
"That is not why I am offering, and I have no intention of throwing you to the nix-hounds." Sarethi's expression had cleared, but I could tell he was still not happy. "Yes, I believe House Redoran would benefit from your presence... but I believe you'd benefit from House Redoran even more, and I would not make this offer if I didn't believe that."
I suspected my skepticism could be felt by people on the mainland.
Sarethi sighed. "Look- Adryn. I don't want to force you into this. Take all the time you need to think about it, to research House Redoran and what joining us would mean. The offer will remain open. And." He took a deep breath. "If you ever, ever find yourself needing help... please come to Sarethi manor under Skar."
His eyes were intense, and I found myself avoiding his gaze.
There was still a little xocolatl left in my cup. It would be a true shame to leave so much as a drop.
"Serjo?" An infinitesimal pause. "Muthsera?"
Both of us blinked up at the waiter, who'd appeared next to our table without sound. I'd have told him that there was a fantastic career in the Thieves Guild waiting for him, but I suspected he'd take it the wrong way.
Besides, I found myself not quite in the mood to give career advice due to being a little annoyed at the interruption. By which I meant, at the fact that the interruption hadn't come five minutes earlier.
"There is an Ordinator asking for you." The man's voice conveyed the fact that he was certain that such a call could not possibly be in connection with anything we had done wrong, as we were far too well-bred for such. Well, Sarethi was – the waiter was significantly less certain about myself, but was of course far too polite to imply such.
It was a pretty masterful use of intonation, I had to admit. Perhaps he would be best suited for the stage, instead.
"Shall I ask her to wait?"
"No," Sarethi said. "We've finished here – we'll go out to meet her."
On our way out, I couldn't help but notice that the waiter made no mention of payment. Another sign of the different worlds we came from – I couldn't even imagine dining a place where it was simply trusted I'd pay the bill eventually.
And this man wanted to sponsor me into Redoran? He had no idea what he was dealing with. It'd serve him right if I took up his invitation and robbed the place blind-
My internal grumbling was interrupted by the sight of the Ordinator girl with palsy from earlier waiting for us outside. Nedeni, she'd been called.
"House-Father Sarethi." She bowed to the man – an affair that looked rather dangerous and prone to toppling – then turned to me. "Muthsera Adryn. The Temple deeply apologises for the inconvenience. If there is anything we can do about any damage caused by our false assumptions-"
There was more she said, but I couldn't hear it over the roaring in my ears.
It had worked.
I was free.
Back in Balmora, I dodged Teleportation Girl's questions and fled to the washing alcove. Some time later, I emerged looking, if I did say so myself, significantly less bedraggled.
I'd honestly wanted to march straight to the Mages' Guild the instant the prison bracer had come off my arm, but the Ordinator girl and Varvur's father had insisted I wait for her to get my belongings from the Hall of Justice. I wasn't surprised to find the clothes I'd been wearing that fateful Middas were a loss. I was surprised to find that someone had clearly felt guilty about this, because they'd been replaced by a pair of firm-soled ankle boots, a matched shirt and leggings of some soft brown hide along with a blue wool robe with bronze stitching on the border. I suspected Ervesa's influence. Wearing the new clothes, with the grime of prison scrubbed thoroughly from my skin, I felt like a whole new person.
More importantly, although my clothes hadn't survived, a certain piece of jewellery had. The Slowfall amulet hung heavy from my neck, and it was truly amazing how much better I felt with it on me. Some people might call it an irrational attachment, I called it never quite knowing when you and gravity are going to find yourselves distinctly at odds.
Thus armoured, I left the building. After days in that cell, I couldn't imagine voluntarily staying underground right now.
At first, I wandered aimlessly, simply revelling in the sun on my face and the sight of open skies. Eventually, though, my feet stopped itching and started hurting. The boots were a little narrow for me – I'd have to see if they could be altered or traded.
I looked around.
I was on the west side of the river, opposite from the guild and the Eight Plates, the same side as the South Wall Cornerclub – although I'd made sure to stay far away from the place. I was really full up on trouble, there was no point in inviting more.
No, this was the southern part of Balmora, near where Cosades lived. Cosades, and...
In fact, wasn't that Ajira's house right there?
My feet took me up to the roof without bothering to consult my brain. I'd missed friendly faces, over the last few days. Missed people who didn't look at me as if I were scum or an interesting puzzle, missed those who took me as I was instead of trying to slot me into the role of murderer, general criminal, incompetent eyewitness, or (even more bizarre than the previous) aspiring member of House Redoran.
I'd missed my friend.
The door creaked open after my third knock.
"Ajira! It's good to see you, I wanted to let you know that I'm back-" I suddenly remembered that Ajira had Ma'Zajirr on weekends. "-um, if this is a bad time, just let me know-"
I was interrupted by virtue of Ajira yanking me inside.
A few moments later, I was seated in a chair in the tiny dining area. Ma'Zajirr was nowhere to be seen, although the mess spreading across one corner of the room spoke to his presence. Out with friends again?
Ajira confirmed this, then started on me.
"Ajira is so glad friend Adryn is all right! She was so worried – Armiger Romandas said that her friend was in Vivec as she had been arrested for- for murder. Of all the things!" The look my friend shot me made it clear she'd found this extremely unlikely and had been rather dubious of Ervesa's story.
I winced. "That... did in fact happen, yes. But!" I said hastily, seeing Ajira's horrified expression, "it was all a terrible misunderstanding. Mistaken identity, you understand. They apologised to me after we managed to clear it up and uncover the real culprit." My cheer fell slightly at that thought.
Apparently, so Nedeni had told Sarethi and me, the intrepid Ordinator detectives had managed to track the murderer to the sewers of Vivec canton – an act I had to admit I was very grateful not to have been involved in for more reasons than one. There, the knowledge that she had a Destruction-enchanted weapon allowed them to use focused Detection spells to home in on her. Nedeni had fairly glowed with enthusiasm when relating this part – rightly so, since it sounded like a revolutionary use of the spell family. I'd almost probed for details until I remembered with some level of bitterness that my newly discovered learning disability almost certainly left me unable to even comprehend, much less use, the magic involved.
They'd found the woman in a location Nedeni had been not nearly so enthusiastic about describing... no wonder, as the few details she let slip reminded me horribly of Hanarai's cellar. The instant she'd seen the Ordinators, she'd attacked. All attempts at talking her down had been useless, Nedeni had said in a sombre tone, and when she managed to knock out Andas with the dagger it became clear it was too dangerous to continue trying. The woman had been killed in the resulting fight.
Nedeni had seemed satisfied with that conclusion, and no doubt Algae-Brain would be ecstatic at having gotten justice for his friend. The whole thing left me feeling rather disturbed, however. From the details Nedeni let slip, it certainly sounded like the woman might have been under the influence of one of those statues. Not responsible for her actions, but killed for them all the same.
It could have been Varvur, in her place. It could have been me.
I wondered who the woman had been, before she ran afoul of the ash statue. What had she been doing? What had she dreamed of, before her mind was stripped from her? Did she have any family or friends... any who might be looking for her even now? Nedeni had seemed doubtful they'd be able to identify her. Those people would never know what had happened.
What had been her name?
A strong sense of empathy, as Sarethi called it, was a terrible affliction indeed.
Ajira, of course, had no idea of the dark details hidden behind my story. "-very good the evil-doer was caught, friend Adryn," she was saying. "Ajira shudders to think what might have happened!" She shook her head. "It is hard to believe that they truly believed you did it. Of all the people..."
"I know, I didn't think I made a particularly convincing murder suspect either!" Now that everything had been resolved and I was starting to gain a little more distance from the situation, I could see the absurdity in it. "It was a matter of unfortunate timing more than anything else, really."
Ajira flicked her claws, as to dismiss the whole thing. "Well, it is thankfully over now. And..." She shot me a glance. "When Armiger Romandas informed her of what had happened, Ajira did not believe it, yes? But she also thought that, regardless of whether it was true, friend Adryn would not like such a thing spread around the guild. So..." she shrugged. "Ajira made it known that friend Adryn had been called away by sudden business, urgent business. She did not go into detail. Was... was that all right?"
For some reason, Ajira was looking uncertain. On my part, I was fighting down the strong urge to hug her.
"Thank you so much, Ajira, you're a star," I said instead, and the sincerity was so evident in my voice it was almost embarrassing. "Really, I don't know how I can repay you."
I couldn't deny I'd had some qualms about returning to the guild with everyone knowing I'd been in prison on charges of murder only that morning. The fact that Ajira had apparently made certain that news travelled no farther than herself was a massive relief.
"Oh, it was nothing," Ajira said, her ears twitching back and forth as she avoided my eyes. If she'd been human or a mer, she'd probably be blushing right about now. "In fact, Ajira is not certain she did her friend a favour – the guildmistress was most put out about her absence."
Of course. Ranis Athrys certainly wouldn't be particularly happy with me if she'd thought I'd just run off straight after my promotion. Still, I'd much rather deal with an angry guildmistress than the whole guild knowing about my recent flirtation with the chopping block.
I told Ajira so, and reiterated my thanks. It only seemed to make her more embarrassed.
"Did Councillor Sarethi speak with friend Adryn, Ajira wonders? He told her he was planning on it."
I allowed my friend the change of subject, particularly since I was interested in this myself.
"He did. He offered to sponsor me in House Redoran..." I raised an eyebrow as Ajira nodded to herself, as though I'd confirmed a suspicion of hers. "You, too?"
"Indeed. He said he felt Ajira had conducted herself with great honour throughout, especially as she had Ma'Zajirr to look after. What does friend Adryn think of the offer?"
I mentally translated: Was I planning on accepting?
"I think it's a terrible idea," I said frankly. "Me, in an organisation full of Varvurs? Someone would be bleeding by the end of the day, and I'd wager septims against drakes that it'd be me." I paused. "What about you?"
"Ajira is still considering. She... shares many of her friend's reservations. House Redoran is not known to be friendly to mages, and membership would not help her in the guild. And yet, it is an opportunity that may never come again. Especially," Ajira sighed, her ears drooping, "for Ma'Zajirr."
"Oh?"
"He dreams of becoming a warrior one day, or a battle-mage, or maybe even a Buoyant Armiger. Even moreso since meeting Varvur, Councillor Sarethi and Armiger Romandas. As things are, it is... unlikely. Ajira has no way of getting him training, equipment, supplies. All she can offer is an education as a pure mage. Perhaps one day, if she saves enough... but she is told that in warrior training, it is important to start early.
"In House Redoran, now... there is potential there. And Ma'Zajirr is not doing well, at the Cult school in Fort Moonmoth. Perhaps it would be better, in Redoran. But then again, they are not friendly to Khajiit, any of the Great Houses. What if it is even worse? A choice like this, it cannot be taken back."
Ajira looked wretched, and my heart went out to her.
"Sarethi said I should think it over, and that there wasn't a time limit on the offer," I told her. "I'm sure the same goes for you. And maybe you can investigate – figure out what it would be like, what sort of opportunities the both of you would have, without committing."
Ajira nodded. No doubt she'd been planning much the same herself.
"Well, these things may wait. For now..." she grinned, the worry vanishing. "It so happens that Ajira's suppliers procured a small amount of shalk resin for her. Would friend Adryn like to hear of her experiments?"
"You have to ask?" I pulled my chair closer, happily diverted. Who cared about murders, arrests, offers of adoption... there was alchemy to be discussed!
"Well, Ajira started by mixing the resin with water, then heating it to just below boiling..."
It wasn't long after that that Ma'Zajirr returned. He made it clear that in terms of interest, I ranked far below Buoyant Armigers, Redoran nobles and similarly exciting people who had entered his life in the last week. Indeed, the only status I could lay claim to was "boring mage friend of Ajira", which apparently put me on roughly the same level as furniture.
Ajira was horrified, but the alchemy discussion had put me in a good mood and I found myself more amused than anything else. I left the two behind, opting to return to the guild and perhaps curl up in the living area with a cup of tea and a good book. In all honesty, at that point I rather felt I'd earned it.
Teleportation Girl greeted me with raised eyebrows and a sharp look. "Are you going to run off again, or are you planning to let me finish a sentence this time?"
I remembered the way I'd brushed her off on arrival, feeling slightly guilty. It had been rude.
"Sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry."
"Well, all right," Teleportation Girl grumbled. "I only wanted to let you know that a letter came in for you just now."
I took the sealed envelope she gave me with a raised eyebrow. Noting Teleportation Girl's curious look, I decided to remove myself to the kitchen area before opening it.
One thing I had to admit: the missive was truly excellent at its job. Some letters go on for paragraphs, even pages, in order to induce a proper sense of impending doom in their recipients. Some don't never manage it at all, using all their best verbiage and ominous handwriting but still only managing to instill a vague sense of puzzlement in the reader.
This letter, now – this letter scoffed at such amateurs and incompetents. This letter was a true expert, one who had achieved the pinnacle of its art. Younger messages must cluster around to learn from it. I could almost hear them oohing and aahing as the letter managed to reduce me to a puddle of dread with only the following:
Muthsera Adryn,
I'd like to discuss a matter related to the research materials you delivered to me last week. I await you at your earliest convenience.
Regards,
Caius Cosades
The true meaning was even shorter!
Worthless recruit,
I want to see you yesterday.
There went my relaxing afternoon spent enjoying my freedom.
"You know," Cosades said, pacing, "there's something I usually tell new recruits."
I watched in silence from where I huddled near the door. He hadn't offered me a chair, and I hadn't asked.
"Namely this. For the love of Talos, be inconspicuous. Don't do flashy things, don't make yourself known, don't draw attention. After all, how are you supposed to gather information for the Empire if all eyes are on you?"
If I tried hard enough, could I actually become one with this wall?
"Now, as it so happens," Cosades continued. "I didn't give you that advice. Figured you didn't need it. Figured you weren't the glory-hound type. Figured that, skittish as you were, you'd just try to disappear."
The man stopped pacing, looking directly at me for the first time since I'd come in. I flinched from his burning gaze. Alas, despite my heartfelt wishes the wall and I remained separate beings.
"Well, it seems I miscalculated just a smidgen on that front. Isn't that right?" A moment's pause. "I said, isn't that right, Novice Adryn?" he barked.
I flinched. "...um. Yes, sir." My voice was tiny.
Cosades rolled his eyes. "'Yes, sir', she mumbles, quiet as a mouse. I could almost think I misunderstood! Maybe this," he reached for a roll of parchment on the table, "is only my imagination. Ah... yes... let's see here...
"The recruit," he read out, "appears to have made a significant impression on Buoyant Armiger Romandas. After the events near Lake Amaya and in Suran, Romandas appears to be making an effort to stay in contact. Of note is the delivery of flowers and an enchanted amulet-"
Cosades broke off, glaring at me.
"The Buoyant Armigers are a very dangerous group. They're given a great deal of independence, they have a direct channel of communication to the very top of the Temple hierarchy, and unlike the Ordinators their leader likes to encourage a certain brand of... curiosity." Cosades made a face. Apparently in his eyes, curiosity was a mortal sin. "I advise all my junior agents to avoid them on principle. But here comes Novice Adryn! Three days on the island, and you have one of them sending you flowers."
Cosades' ceiling was really very interesting. If you squinted a little, those cracks almost formed a map of Skyrim.
"But, of course, that was only the warm-up." I heard parchment rustle as I stared up at Morthal in stain form. "Let's see here... recruit was travelling through the West Gash accompanied by Varvur Sarethi, son of Redoran Councillor Athyn Sarethi, after rescuing him from imprisonment by Redoran Archmaster Bolvyn Venim. I must admit, you're ambitious with your friends, but it pales next to your enemies. One week, and you've made a mortal enemy of the Archmaster of House Redoran! If you'd asked me, I wouldn't have said that was even possible."
"It was an accident!"
I clamped my mouth shut, but too late.
"Is that so, Novice Adryn?" Cosades' tone was glacial. "In that case, I never want to see what happens if you set out to offend someone on purpose."
A thump. Despite myself, my eyes left ceiling-Skyrim to return to Cosades, who'd hit the table with his first.
"My understanding is that since we last met you have managed to befriend a Buoyant Armiger, make Bolvyn Venim far angrier than is healthy, put Athyn Sarethi into your debt, uncover a dangerous conspiracy in Ald'ruhn, gain an open invitation to join House Redoran, and – oh yes – be arrested for the murder of an Ordinator and cleared of all charges. Apparently Elam Andas was very impressed with your helpfulness in the investigation, and believes you deserve a large part of the credit for them tracking down a serial killer."
Cosades' eyebrows would probably achieve flight if they went up any higher. I found myself deeply angry at the unfairness of the world. If there was any justice at all, the ground would have swallowed me up by now.
"Well? Does that about cover it? Have I missed anything? Did the leader of the Imperial Cult declare a blood feud? Did Archmagister Gothren offer to adopt you?"
...there had been that encounter with Crassius Curio, who I gathered was a noble of some rank in House Hlaalu. But Cosades didn't need to know about that, especially as I was mysteriously vague on the details.
"Well, then," Cosades said when I remained silent. "What's done is done, and it might still all work out to our benefit. For now, I have a task for you."
That was not what I'd been hoping to hear.
"It's a simple thing. Even you should be able to manage it without trouble." The dubious look Cosades gave me smarted. "I'd like you to go to Hasphat Antabolis – he's a member of the Fighter's Guild here in Balmora. Ask him what he knows about the Nerevarine Cult."
Nerevarine...
The word seemed to echo oddly, as though we were in a cavern instead of a tiny room. I frowned. Something was elusively familiar about that, something just out of reach...
"Are you listening to me, Novice Adryn?"
I jerked upright, losing track of my line of thought. "Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!"
"Right. As I was saying," Cosades growled at me, "ask Antabolis for notes, if you can. I'd rather not rely on your no doubt pitiful memory for information. Bring them straight back to me. Understood?"
"Got it. ...sir."
In all honesty, I'd much rather tell him where he could put his orders, but it was clear that no was not an option here. At least this sounded pretty straightforward. Ask this Hasphat Antabolis for notes about this cult, bring them back to Cosades. Surely not much could go wrong here?
"Hmm. All right. Oh, and Novice Adryn?"
Cosades sounded almost friendly. That had 'trap' written all over it. I gulped.
"I would be very, very grateful if you managed to do this without running afoul of any... oh... Hlaalu Councilors, high-ranking members of the Imperial Legion, or organised crime syndicates. I mean, considering how minor the task in question is, I wouldn't normally even contemplate those possibilities. But given your track record, I figured it's best to be explicit about these things."
While I was trying to come up with a retort to that, Cosades snapped, "Dismissed."
I, not to put too fine a word on it, fled.
Teleportation Girl blinked at me as I stomped into the Mages' Guild common area.
"Well. You're certainly in a mood."
"Tell me," I asked her. "Do I look like an adventurer? A mercenary? A," I shuddered at the word, "hero?"
"...no. No, I can't say you do. What-"
"Do I look," I barrelled over her, "like someone who'd be interested in, or in fact remotely capable of, fetching something from a dangerous Dwemer ruin?"
Teleportation Girl's eyebrows drew together. "Definitely, absolutely not."
Nine be praised, there was sanity left in the world.
"Don't tell me. Someone asked you to do that?"
I'd opened my mouth and was ready to vent to a sympathetic ear when I remembered that Cosades was, in fact, secretly a member of a famous spy network (why) and my task for him was tied in with that same spy network (why) and he would no doubt be distinctly unhappy if I recounted the events of that afternoon to a random Mages' Guild member. It didn't take a genius to draw the connection between unhappiness on Cosades' part and significant pain on mine.
"Well..." I'd been too obvious to deny everything now. Time to come up with a better story.
"Yes. I was freelancing, you see," I said, remembering the excuse Cosades had given me when we first met. "Thought I'd run some errands for coin. But it was supposed to be a matter of just getting notes from the man! Nobody said anything about dangerous Dwemer ruins."
The last part, of course, being the full and complete truth. I still felt rather affronted at the way events had gone.
Cosades hadn't bothered mentioning that Antabolis would require a favour before he'd hand over his notes, and Antabolis certainly hadn't let sanity, sense and the evidence of his own damn eyes prevail when deciding on something suitable. Even my very loud and demonstrative dismay at the suggestion hadn't given him pause. No, Hasphat Antabolis would only hand over his notes in exchange for a genuine Dwemer puzzle box from the Dwemer ruin of Arkngthand. No substitutes accepted.
"I'd advise cutting down on the freelancing," Teleportation Girl said with a glance around. "No one minds it in Associates, but Apprentices are expected to be dedicated to the guild. Outside commitments tend to be frowned on."
Wonderful. As if my life hadn't been difficult enough already. "Well," I shrugged, "I wanted to make some money, and I don't seem to have any guild duties right now-"
"-because Ranis Athrys couldn't find you after the whole... thing..." Teleportation Girl decided to clarify that statement via vague gesturing, "on Middas. Galbedir's refusing to work with you again, you know? But I'm sure Ranis Athrys has something else in mind. She wasn't happy when you weren't around." Teleportation Girl's voice dropped. "Did that whole cleansing thing really take that long?"
Oh, right. She'd been around when Ervesa had dragged me off to Vivec, even if Ajira (Stendarr bless her) had kept subsequent events to herself.
"Not... exactly. I ended up tangled up in other things in Vivec. Assisting law enforcement, that sort of thing... anyway!" A subject change was definitely in order. "I'll think of something to say to our guildmistress. Although I'm not sure I want to know what she's thought of this time." I grimaced.
"It won't be alchemy, I guarantee you." Teleportation Girl sounded rather resigned. "But it's not likely to be trawling through a Dwemer ruin for some item! Edwinna Elbert's the one who'll send you off for that."
...Edwinna Elbert, who I'd planned to try to catch in a weak moment to see if she had room for another apprentice. After all, I'd thought, Dwemer research seemed interesting enough and perhaps another guildmistress's claim would save me from whatever Ranis Athrys had planned. From the sound of this, I'd be better off with the Balmoran guildmistress.
"Hey, Adryn?"
I blinked at Teleportation Girl, torn out of my thoughts. She looked almost... nervous?
"I wanted to ask you something. You see -"
She jerked, eyes sliding out of focus. "Ah, Ashpit take it- I've got passengers coming in from Vivec, a whole bunch. Another time?"
"Tomorrow morning, after breakfast?" I suggested, and was met with a nod from Teleportation Girl before she turned to head back to the teleportation dais.
I had to admit to some curiosity as to what she wanted to know, but this clearly wasn't the best time to discuss it. After all, Teleportation Girl had her duties to attend to. And me?
As I heard the familiar rush of a teleportation spell, I rescued Ruins of Kemel-Ze from the little cubbyhole where I was keeping my belongings and flipped to the place where Nordssen began to describe the animated guardians he'd encountered. It seemed I'd be getting my afternoon spent with some books after all, although it was sadly going to be much less relaxing than planned.
After all, in the all-too-near future I was going to have to retrieve a 'puzzle cube' from a dangerous Dwemer ruin, preferably without getting myself killed in the process. I figured some research was in order.
Chapter 14: Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Text
-draw the lines like this, make sure to balance out the nzamchend, then feed the power into the bthuri-
Two claps from outside interrupted my concentration. In my hands magicka sparked, then faded to nothing as my focus broke.
I frowned. For a moment there, I'd swear it had been working-
Well, no matter now. I had a guest to take care of.
"Come in!" I called, dropping the crystal I'd been probing as I looked up. I blinked in surprise when I noticed the light streaming in the open air-flaps had the distinctive reddish tinge of evening. How long had I been sitting here?
Voryn ducked into the entrance of the yurt. My eyebrows rose further at this most unexpected guest – I'd thought Voryn in Dagoth lands in the north of the island, days away.
"My apologies for dropping by unannounced, Nerevar," Voryn said. "We were in the area and thought we'd visit."
My friend was still stooped half-crouched in the open entrance. He looked distinctly ridiculous. I waved at the seat-cushion opposite me impatiently, then remembered that Voryn could be something of a stickler for propriety.
"Clan Indoril welcomes you, Voryn of Clan Dagoth, you may eat freely from our herds and drink freely from our winter stores in honour of our friendship- sit down, will you? You're too tall as it is, you're going to give me a crick in my neck if I have to keep staring up at you."
Voryn's lips quirked in a smile as he settled himself on the cushion I'd indicated. "I honour the welcome you give me, Nerevar of Clan Indoril. May there be friendship between our people forever more."
There. The formalities had been observed. Although-
Old lessons our Wise Woman had tried to thump into my head when I was young reared their head.
"May I offer you anything to eat or drink?" I offered, then looked between us. The low table in the center of the yurt was covered in parchment, one of the precious books Dumac had given me when we last met lying open on one side, the crystal I'd been experimenting with on the other. "Er- let me just tidy that up-"
"It's quite all right, Nerevar," Voryn said as he took in the mess. "I'm not hungry. I take it you're studying Kagrenac's work?"
"Mzahnch's, actually," I corrected. "Kagrenac has been developing some mad theories about the nature of Aedric- well, let's just say our interests are diverging. Mzahnch, on the other hand, has been looking into how to use-"
I broke off with a sigh. Voryn was no scholar, after all. No doubt his eyes were glazing over in disinterest right now... especially as, with the Chimer's general lack of participation in this sort of scholarship, any further detail would require a switch to Dwemeris.
In truth, that bothered me. My long friendship with the Dwemer meant I could speak their language well enough by now, but they remained secretive about their tongue all the same and so it formed a real barrier to any other aspiring Chimer researcher. Even aside from that, I had my pride in our people. It smarted to think our language had no way of even expressing some of these theories. If I were able to find other Chimer interested, we might be able to come up with something... perhaps some of the Telvanni...
A thought for a later day, given that I had a guest.
"My apologies, Voryn. I don't mean to either bore you or ignore you."
"I missed you, you know." Voryn's voice was fond, but there was a vast ocean of sadness beneath the words.
I found myself seized by the sudden, odd feeling that our conversation had been following an invisible script and Voryn had just departed from it.
"What do you mean?" I asked warily.
Hadn't it been evening just a second ago? It was fully dark outside now, a dim candle our only source of illumination.
"What I said," Voryn answered. He leaned closer, knees bumping the table. "It's been a long time, old friend, and the traitors have tried to keep us separate."
...Voryn had always been tall, but had he truly been this tall? And surely it was an illusion cast by the flickering candlelight that turned his face into an eerie golden mask?
"Voryn, wha..."
My voice trailed off as I found myself unable to form words, my thoughts slowing down like a river freezing into ice.
"And succeeded, too. I almost had you, dear friend, until Vivec's blind slaves intervened." Voryn snarled, a rumbling, inhuman sound. On his forehead a third eye opened, blood-red and piercing. "No matter. Soon, they will learn. Everyone will learn. The traitors will receive their due, Resdayn will live again... and we will be truly reunited."
I couldn't think. I couldn't think. I couldn't-
"She's not letting you remember, is she?" Voryn sounded almost pitying. He reached out to stroke my cheek with long, curved claws. "A cruel thing indeed, keeping you ignorant by force. And such monsters claim to be the true gods of our people. Rest assured, dear friend, no Daedra will be able to touch you when all is done."
"I-"
My voice was a choking rasp, dying before it could form, and I couldn't think.
"Alas, the traitors' interference means I cannot speak to you... properly. Soon the last threads of our connection will be gone, and then even this superficial conversation will need to end. But I can be patient. And Nerevar, I promise you this, promise it on the Heart: I will find you again."
Voryn sat back, and-
I shook my head. Pain stabbed my skull, and I- I couldn't think-
Summer evening sunlight streamed through the open flaps of the yurt, illuminating the papers I'd been working on earlier. Voryn was seated across from me and looking rather concerned.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
I frowned.
What had happened? Voryn and I had been talking, I'd been telling him about my research, and then-
A white-hot knife lanced through my head. I winced and raised my hands to rub my temples, thoroughly distracted.
Well, no matter what had happened, right now I was most shamefully neglecting hospitality.
"My apologies, Voryn, my thoughts must have drifted for a moment. What were you saying?"
"Oh, nothing important," Voryn said, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't worry yourself. Are you well?"
I really wished that whatever had decided stabbing needles into my forehead was an appropriate activity would go and find another victim. "Headache. Not sure where it's come from. Maybe I've spent too long studying, today."
"Maybe." Voryn frowned, a dark, angry expression I wasn't used to seeing on his face. "Perhaps some distraction will help. What do you say to a wander around the camp as we talk?"
The idea of getting out of my stuffy yurt had some appeal. "That sounds like an excellent idea, my friend- ah!"
My legs cramped as I stood, and Voryn reached over to steady me before I fell. His hand felt burning hot, his fingernails oddly sharp.
"Yes," he said. Despite the fact that I'd regained my balance, he didn't let go of my arm. "I look forward to catching up with you, Nerevar."
I watched the breakfast crowd from where I nursed a cup in the corner. I'd woken this morning with a nasty headache that seemed inclined to hang around as the day wore on. Needless to say, I wasn't feeling in the mood for company, and if it hadn't been for my agreement with Teleportation Girl I'd probably have skipped the communal breakfast today – especially because the headache had apparently talked my appetite into desertion. At least that was my theory for why the spiced rolls that had been so delicious when I'd last had them looked about as appealing as prison crusts today. Worse, I'd barely made headway on my first cup of Dulnea's tea... a fact that must surely qualify as some sort of blasphemy.
Thankfully, none of the other guild members seemed to mind my sour mood and silence. Ajira would most likely have tried to draw me out if she'd been there, but she was absent and the others were deeply involved in their discussion. Listening more closely made it clear they were talking about some sort of event that was apparently happening today.
...on the one hand, part of me still wanted to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my head and hope to wake up no longer feeling like a draugr. That part was definitely not in the mood for conversation.
On the other, I was curious.
"Hey, Marayn? What's this 'seminar' you're talking about?"
Marayn blinked at me. "Oh, right, you've been away a lot so you wouldn't know. The guild has regular events where someone gives a talk about their current area of research. Usually it's someone from one of the guilds here on Vvardenfell, sometimes we can get an independent local researcher in, and occasionally it's someone from a non-local guild who's in Vvardenfell for some reason. For instance, two weeks ago we had Edras Oril from Almalexia talking about kagouti mating habits. It was very- are you all right, Adryn?"
"F-fine," I managed once I'd finished coughing. Really, I was ashamed of myself – appetite or no appetite, Dulnea's tea was far too fine a liquid to waste on choking. "So it's about listening to people talk about what they're researching right now?"
That sounded... as if it could be fascinating or dreadfully boring, depending on who the people in question were. I hadn't forgotten Cassia in Vivec and her pots and pans.
"It's also about having tea, coffee and cakes with everyone beforehand," Teleportation Girl corrected me. "Edwinna brings these sweetrolls from a bakery in Ald'ruhn... they're delicious!"
"And don't forget the times we go out for drinks and dinner afterwards," Uleni chimed in. "Last week we were booked in at the Flowers of Gold in Vivec, the guild paying-"
"For shame, both of you!" Marayn was obviously trying to be stern, but his sparkling eyes and the smile quirking the corner of his mouth made it hard to believe in. "Scholarship is more important than food and gossip!"
The expression on Teleportation Girl's face made it clear she found this statement rather dubious.
"So who's speaking today, then? And what's the topic?" I asked, curious despite myself.
"It's Analinwe, from Vulkhel Guard in Alinor," Marayn answered. "She's on holiday in Vivec and said she'd give a talk on... what was it again... oh yes! The Miracle of Peace and what its implications may be for the connection between Akatosh and the Septim line."
The clink as I dropped my spoon was deafening. Strangely, nobody else seemed to notice.
"Well, that should be interesting. I mean, it's not every day you get a purported Dragon Break to examine."
"Not every day, but the one we have was over ten years ago, on the other side of the world, and has spurred more puerile 'scholarship' or rather excuses to hop onto the Dragon Break caravan than any other-"
There is fire everywhere.
"But don't you see, the fact that a Dragon Break resolved so favourably to the Empire..." Marayn was talking, hands darting around like cliff racers as I'd noticed they did when he was deep into explaining something, but his words were drowned out by a roaring in my ears.
"Excuse me," I said. My voice seemed very far away. "I think I need to get some air."
Outside, I looked at the growing crowds, turned and took the stairs upwards. My headache was finally ebbing, but I felt shaky, ill, and not at all up to battling my way back to the Mages' Guild. Sitting on the edge of the walkway that connected the roof of the Eight Plates with the neighbouring building and letting my legs dangle did do some good, though. The air was fresher up here, and I'd always liked heights.
The sun was out today, and I let my eyes drift closed as I indulged in the feeling of sunlight on my face. There was a slight chill in the air, but not yet enough to drive me to the clothier for a cloak. New to Morrowind as I was, I found it unseasonably warm for the beginning of Frostfall. In Windhelm, we'd be seeing regular snowfall by now. Even in Daggerfall...
"Are you all right?"
I blinked up at Teleportation Girl, torn out of my thoughts. I hadn't expected anyone to follow me; they'd seemed deeply involved in their debate when I left.
But of course she'd wanted to talk to me about something, I remembered. It had been the entire reason I'd been at breakfast. Well, maybe if I ignored her she'd get the message: meeting rescheduled, please come back another day.
No such luck. Instead, Teleportation Girl seemed to take my lack of response as an invitation and let herself drop down beside me.
For a minute or so, we simply sat together in silence. Then, quietly, she began to talk.
"My family is from Wayrest, you know. My parents moved to Vvardenfell before I was born, but we went back to visit my grandparents twice and they travelled to Morrowind once. I was very young, but I remember my grandfather."
I didn't say anything, letting the words wash over me.
"I loved him, you know?" Her voice grew wistful. "He'd let me sit on his shoulders and he'd call me his little mageling, and when he found me crying because some boys had called me an outlander he taught me a spell to make them think I was a ten-foot-tall monster... he laughed so hard when I told him how they'd run away screaming. And then... then the warp happened. He was a battlemage in the army, he was on patrol..." She took a deep breath. "They never found him. And believe me, my grandmother looked."
The grief in her voice was palpable. I bowed my head.
"I still hate it when people call it that stupid name. The 'Miracle of Peace'. As if my grandfather dying was a miracle." She spat the word.
The silence grew. I shifted, uncomfortable. A story like that demanded reciprocation. I'd usually reject such an idea with great prejudice, but now I could feel words welling within me.
Perhaps it was that she understood. I hadn't expected anyone who'd understand.
"I grew up in Daggerfall." The words slipped out in a quiet, even murmur. "An village in the province, then the capital itself. I was in the orphanage attached to the Temple of Kynareth at first, there, but later I lived with-"
Fjaldir. Azha. Do'kharza, Eix-Lin-
Giants in my memory, ones where the thought of them still filled me with awe and gratitude, with hero-worship in the truest sense of the word...
...who I still viewed through the eyes of a child, because I'd never known them when grown.
Could it really be called living with when they'd been there maybe three days in a month?
"-well, it doesn't matter," I moved on. "They were all out when it happened. There was a, a neighbour who looked in on me, but she- died. I think. It became very hard to be certain of anything, at that point."
I'd have liked to leave it there, but now that I'd started I found the words kept coming, like poison seeping from a lanced wound.
"There's no way to describe what a Dragon Break is like, you know? We're children of Akatosh, we need time to make sense of the world. When it shatters, when everything starts happening out of order and location doesn't make sense anymore and effect comes before cause- when the entire concept of before stops working- and as if that weren't enough there was the fire and the fighting, armies and monsters and people dying-" I swallowed hard. "Well, usually I just try not to think about any of it."
It worked pretty well as a strategy. Barring nights.
"But the worst part, the absolute worst, that came afterwards. I- time didn't make sense, I said that, but you ask questions like how long did it last and the like anyway, that's just how we're made. I thought – two weeks? Maybe a month? Imagine my surprise when they told us it had only been a day. Especially because... when it was over, we were in the Eastern Reach, near Markarth in Skyrim – no idea how we got there – and..."
My mouth tasted like ashes.
"It was two years later," I finished in a whisper.
I jumped at the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. I'd almost forgotten about the Breton who was now looking at me sympathetically and offering what I supposed was meant to be reassuring physical contact. "I'm sorry," she said now. "That must have been hard."
"Mmm. Well. Anyway!" I groped for a subject change and found one. "What did you want to talk to me about yesterday?"
Message sent: communal trauma-sharing time is over. Normal service may resume at any time. Also - I shifted away from her - communal trauma-sharing time does not constitute an exception to Adryn's personal space bubble.
The other girl blinked at me, but withdrew her hand. "Well. Um. I have a suggestion... I guess you could see it as doing me a favour?"
I raised an eyebrow at her. I wasn't used to soul-baring being a prelude to asking for favours, but maybe that was just because I was unfamiliar with the whole thing. For all I knew, this was Caius' modus operandi. Maybe he met with people like Hasphat, they all sat down and shared sob stories from their childhood - Caius talking about how his mother wouldn't let him have sweets, maybe, and Hasphat about a traumatic experience in a Dwemer ruin that left him deciding to send poor innocent bystanders for his toys instead of picking them up themselves - and afterwards Caius would put another person on his list of people who owed him favours...
What? It's not as if I have any idea how this spy thing is meant to work!
"I'm trying to make Journeyman, you see," she continued, apparently not having noticed my current battle against an overactive imagination. "I've been an Apprentice for almost a year now, I've done my time – and I really hate being a guild guide." She scowled. "The hours are absolutely terrible, no free time at all, and being the only person in Balmora who has to take the land route everywhere gets really old, let me tell you. My parents moved six months ago and I haven't been able to visit their new home even once."
My somewhat haphazard entry into the guild meant I was missing some of the basics. I suspected I'd just stumbled across another one. "Making Journeyman would mean you no longer had to be a guild guide?"
"Exactly. It's a job for Apprentices – all the nasty ones are. You don't see Marayn or Estirdalin or, Julianos forbid, Ranis stuck behind an alchemy desk or teleporting people."
Well, that certainly shed new light on Ajira's and Galbedir's rivalry... and raised worrying prospects regarding what Ranis might have planned for me, now that enchanting was out.
"Okay. I'm with you so far," I said. "What I fail to see is how I come into this. Aren't you specialising in Mysticism? If so, I really have no idea how I could help. Given the obvious," I added with some level of (justified, in my opinion) bitterness.
"Actually, that's exactly it. I'd never heard of that syndrome you have, apparently it's really rare. I don't think anyone's ever properly studied what causes it and what its exact effects are. I asked Estirdalin and she said she thought it might make for a good Journeyman thesis."
I wasn't sure what my expression was, but judging by the way my guild-mate's steadily drooped it wasn't very positive. Estirdalin's quiz had been more than humiliating enough; I couldn't imagine voluntarily spending even more time trying and failing to cast spells only to be told how easy they were supposed to be.
I said so.
"Oh, that's not how it's going to be at all! I was actually thinking about focusing more on the spells where you get unusual effects – Detection and Telekinesis. I mean, Estirdalin did suggest investigating the inabilities, but honestly I don't think there's much more you can write for 'can't cast Soultrap'."
Hmm. That did sound better. Maybe this was worth considering after all? If-
"Well, I did think it might be interesting to see what happens to you with the guild guide spells-"
All right, that suggestion certainly brought me violently back to Nirn.
"Are you out of your mind?" I demanded once I was capable of noises other than spluttering. "Asking me to cast a teleportation spell? On other people? On customers?"
"No! No!" If she waved her hands a little more wildly she'd probably take flight. "We practice on rocks, or boxes, or sometimes summoned Daedra. I wouldn't have you try on actual people." My sigh of relief was interrupted as she continued, "Although who knows? The foundation of guild guide spells is actually completely different from the Intervention school. You might find they work out for you."
Azha, I remembered, had had the world's most cutting skeptical expression. The Mother-Superior of the orphanage had had nothing on her. She'd been able to reduce Do'kharza - inveterate rogue who'd steal the whiskers off Rajhin that he proclaimed himself – to a whimpering bundle of fur with just a long stare and furrowed eyebrows. A seven-year-old girl had been no challenge at all, and after my first and last attempt at sneaking something past The Look had featured heavily in my nightmares.
My own was only a pale imitation, I knew. Judging by the way the blood was draining from my guild-mate's cheeks, I'd managed to capture something of the essence all the same.
"I feel as if you're not really taking this seriously enough," I said after a moment of silence to let the gravity of the situation sink in. "From what Estirdalin said, me messing around with Mysticism spells could be seriously dangerous, and I'm not sure restricting ourselves to rocks will be enough to be safe. What if I actually do blow something up, or mistarget the spell and accidentally send you off into the stratosphere, or-"
I'd always had a fantastic imagination. Right now, it was throwing all the things that could possibly go wrong here at me in full, lurid detail.
"It'd be safer not to even try," I said, and the words tasted like acid.
The Breton's shoulders sagged. Had I convinced her?
I tried to squash down the sting of regret at the thought. So it hurt to have to treat the Mysticism school like a hidden fire-trap rune. So I really wanted to be able to dive into new spells, the same as anyone else would be able to. Well, I hadn't been a child in a long time now and I was used to not getting what I wanted-
An indrawn breath brought my attention back to the conversation.
"Look, Adryn – Estirdalin is a fantastic and experienced mage and all that, but in this case I think she's wrong. Just because you cast spells a little differently from most people and can have problems they don't doesn't mean you should have to give up on the whole school of Mysticism."
There was real force behind the words – this was obviously something she felt strongly about.
"So it might be a little more difficult to teach you," she continued. "So maybe we'll have to be very careful about it. So what? If that was a reason not to bother trying, there wouldn't be any mages at all. The guild should be there to help anyone who's interested in magic, not just those who do it exactly by the textbook! It should be about scholarship, about learning, not just making as much money off customers as possible and ignoring anyone who doesn't fit!"
The rant struck me as genuine, and despite myself I began to soften.
"So... you want me to try the guild guide teleportation spells to see if I can get them to work?" I'd meant it to sound scoffing, but instead it only came out as mildly skeptical.
"Exactly. I think there's a decent chance you could learn them. And if not, there's still a lot of potential for research in your Detection spells. Who knows, maybe you can teach them to me-"
"In case you didn't catch it last week, I tried that before. It didn't work."
"To some scout you met, you said. I remember. Well, I'm an Apprentice of the Mages' Guild with a specialty in Mysticism – I'd like to think I have a much better chance. How much magical education can a scout have, anyway? For all you know she'd never even heard of Lor's Principles!" She waved my objection away.
I hadn't heard of Lor's Principles. The urge to come to Gelduin's defense was strong, but my guild-mate hadn't finished.
"And even if I can't learn the spell, if I figure out enough of the way you shape it I might have enough material for a proper research article, one that one of the bigger journals would accept. At that point Ranis Athrys would have to promote me to Journeyman."
I wasn't nearly as optimistic. But...
But until this conversation I hadn't realised how much I'd needed someone proclaiming confidence in me, someone who viewed my Mystic disability as a minor obstacle and an opportunity for research instead of proof I shouldn't bother trying. It was so perfectly tailored to what I wanted to hear, such a balm to places in my soul that sorely needed it, that I almost suspected the Breton of manipulating me.
"So? Will you help?"
...well. If she was, it was working.
"Sure. Why not, You only live once, and I'm an alchemist, I should be used to explosions by now. And..."
I took a deep breath.
"Thanks... Masalinie."
Afternoon found me hiking past Fort Moonmoth in the sturdy guarhide boots I'd gotten in trade for those from the Temple, plain but comfortable shirt and breeches, and carrying a pack that a bystander might notice I treated very, very carefully.
Although I'd have liked to put it off for longer – preferably eternally – I suspected Caius wouldn't be all too happy if I didn't get moving on his 'simple task'. With that in mind, I'd decided it was time to have a look at this Arkngthand. Not look for the cube, I told myself, just get the lay of the land. A scouting mission before the actual heist, like so many I'd gone on before.
Well, not entirely like. I certainly couldn't remember any manor I'd scoped out in Skyrim being populated by murderous Dwemer automatons. However, one has to adapt to changing circumstances.
I'd prepared for this particular scouting mission in the only way I knew. This meant that I was unarmed, Elone's old short-sword having migrated to under my bed, but my pack was filled almost to bursting with potions for every eventuality. The process of preparing them had depleted Ajira's stores quite a bit, and the end I'd guiltily left two ten-drake coins on the desk in the alchemy lab to cover materials.
I rounded a corner in the path and then stopped to take in the sight. It looked like I'd almost arrived.
Ahead, the path crossed the deep gorge that was labelled Foyada Mamaea on my map via a bridge. The opposite side was grey and ashy, an abrupt shift from the scrubby green growth that I'd been travelling past since Balmora. It was broken by coppery-gold metal sprouting from the ground to the right of the path. The style of architecture was unmistakeable to anyone who'd ever seen a Dwemer ruin... let alone lived in one, those two years in Markarth after the Warp.
Steam burst from one of the pipes rising from the hillside with a hiss and a clanking noise. Yes, definitely Dwemer. I still had decidedly unfond memories of the way the rusted cog at the far end of the Warrens would randomly decide to start trying and failing to turn or the grate next to it would start spitting steam – always at an hour of the morning only Sanguine would recognise, of course. I knew I should really have been impressed that Dwemer machines still worked four millennia after their owners' disappearance, but in my defense it's quite hard to muster any emotion other than irritation when you've been woken up from a sound sleep by ear-splitting screeches and whistles and have to be ready to work at dawn. Nine knew Charon had cursed a blue streak...
My lips pressed together.
I'd really had far more than my allotted dose of nostalgia recently. For all that so many people loved to wallow in their memories – see Masalinie and her insistence on 'talking about it' – I'd always considered myself smarter than that.
After all, the past is over. Gone. Dead. For all the present is concerned, it may as well never have happened – indeed there are philosophical schools that state it didn't! – so bothering about it is really just an unnecessary indulgence in masochism.
"Halt!"
And my pointless, unwanted trip down memory lane was certainly to blame for the fact that I'd entirely missed the man standing in the middle of the bridge, just ahead of me.
He was an older Colovian with receding grey hair who was watching me with narrowed eyes, one hand on the hilt of a sword. The armour he wore was worn and oft-mended, dark brown leather with no identifying marks... no, looking closer I could make out some sigil picked out in dark red against his upper arm.
I could recognise a gang sign when I saw one.
Definitely a bandit. He couldn't be any more of a bandit if he had the word "Bandit" floating over him. In fact, the only reason he didn't was probably because the world had decided this would be unforgivably redundant.
I let my own hand drop to one particular vial I'd tucked into my belt. If I'd brewed it correctly, it should create a thick cloud of smoke when poured out or shattered...
...of course, given that it had been my first time attempting this potion with Morrowind ingredients, that if was not to be underestimated.
"What's your business here?" demanded the bandit.
I blinked, having expected something more along the lines of your money or your life.
"Ah... I was heading to the ruins of Arkngthand?"
I clamped my mouth shut, but too late. Mentally, I gave myself a good kick; any good criminal will tell you that being taken by surprise is no excuse for being honest, of all things. Especially since in this situation I didn't think telling the truth was going to be to my benefit.
And indeed, the bandit's eyes were narrowing as his hand clenched on the hilt of his sword.
"I hope you're aware that all Dwemer artifacts belong to the Emperor by law, and taking them is viewed as a serious crime."
As a matter of fact, Hasphat Antabolis had refrained from mentioning that tidbit. An omission I'd have to thank him for when I got back. Although I certainly didn't know why a bandit was lecturing me about-
"I happen to be a member in good standing of the Imperial Archaeological Society, you know," the bandit continued. "We're conducting a dig in Arkngthand right now, and I'm afraid we have to take exception to any attempts at... looting."
If he was an archaeologist, I was a kagouti-
-and I should probably wait to inspect myself for an outbreak of tusks until after I'd gotten out of this situation in one piece.
"Oh! The Imperial Archaeological Society, you say." The fact that I managed to keep my face straight when saying that proved, I think, that a career in the theatre was definitely an option for me. "That's-"
An idea bloomed in my mind, fully formed and – if I may say so myself – brilliant.
"That's fantastic!" I gushed. The bandit-archaeologist looked rather taken aback. "I'm a member of the Mages' Guild, you see, and I've been assigned to study the Dwemer." So far, I was even being entirely truthful. "Of course I'd never dream of disturbing the historical record by removing artifacts from the ruins! I simply wanted to investigate their layout. You see..."
I took a deep breath, mind racing. Time to hope the research I'd done into the Dwemer so far had given me enough to come up with something plausible.
"...Arkngthand, like many of the Dwemer citadels closer to Red Mountain, was almost abandoned some time before the disappearance of the Dwemer due to increased amounts of ash-fall. It not only left the environment inhospitable, but also caused worry that an eruption might be imminent, so many Dwemer moved to citadels further away from Red Mountain, such as Mzuleft and Bethamez."
I was genuinely surprised at how easily the words flowed. Either I was a far better liar under pressure than previous incidents would indicate, or more of Chronicles of Nchuleft, Ruins of Kemel-Ze and Antecedents of Dwemer Law had stuck than I'd thought.
"I want to investigate the architectural set-up of Arkngthand and contrast them with citadels that were built after the exodus. Perhaps the differences might reflect changes in the Dwemer mind-set in the intervening time, which could in turn shed new light on the disappearance of the Dwemer!" A breath. "I hadn't realised there was an archaeological team already here. I'd of course be delighted to collaborate!"
The bandit was goggling at me, obviously struck speechless. I waited for him to collect himself, keeping up the bright smile even though the mask of sheer enthusiasm was starting to make my head hurt.
The beauty of it all was that thanks to Trebonius (and there were three words that one didn't expect in sequence...) the whole story was built on a foundation of truth. And certainly I made a far more plausible Dwemer scholar than artifact hunter or smuggler, unarmed and dressed in robes as I was.
The bandit – no, looter, he must be – certainly seemed taken in. His grip on his sword loosened, and although he looked rather frustrated, he didn't look suspicious.
"Ah... I'm afraid that's not going to be possible. You see..."
Now it was his turn to invent wildly, and I suspected he wouldn't quite reach the standard I'd set.
"The ruins are still... dangerous! Yes, dangerous. There's still working automata and centurions and all sorts of deadly creatures. We need to finish clearing them out before we could possibly allow others access."
No, not convincing at all, I thought critically. Where I'd pulled off a performance worthy of a lead actor, the only role this man could win in the theatre would be cleaning up after the shows. Who knew, maybe a thwarted dream of stardom was the reason he'd turned to crime in the first place? Well, at least he'd given me a good excuse to turn around and leave...
...except that the keen if rather oblivious scholar I was pretending to be wouldn't give up nearly so easily, and I had to make sure the bandit didn't grow suspicious.
"Oh." I let myself pout. "Are you sure? I've told the guildmistress I'd finish this paper, you see. I need it to make Journeyman," I added, remembering Adryn and Galbedir's rivalry, not to mention my discussion with Masalinie on comparative duties by rank. "Could I talk to your leader about an exception, maybe? I promise I can take care of myself..."
"I'll talk to Boss Crito," the bandit said, managing to sound sincerely regretful (I mentally upgraded his career in drama to understudy), "but I don't think it's likely, sorry."
"Oh well." I let myself sigh gustily. "I'll have to look into Bthanchend, or maybe..."
I turned around and let myself trudge back on the path to Fort Moonmoth. Leaving the looter at my back was not to my liking at all, and I found myself glad he couldn't hear my heart race as I walked away. Finally, I judged I was out of sight and earshot.
I set down my pack beside a rock that looked like a reasonably comfortable seat, a theory I immediately tested and proved acceptable.
"Scamp drek," I hissed. The curse did nothing to improve my situation, did however make me feel a little better.
I'd expected Dwemer automata, had a whole sheaf of notes I'd made on the various types that had occurred in Ruins of Kemel-Ze with me. I hadn't, however, expected looters... much less what was clearly an organised gang. This was going to complicate things tremendously.
To begin with, how was I to even get to Arkngthand? I was excellent at sneaking and moving unseen, and that was no empty pride speaking... but across a bridge? With no cover, a guard watching, and no one else in sight? The Grey Fox couldn't have done it.
If you can't go through, go around...
I dug in my pack and pulled out the map I'd acquired on my ill-fated trip to Lake Amaya. After having done without it on my first expedition to Vivec (followed, as it had been, by my first expedition to Ald'ruhn and then my first expedition to the West Gash) I wasn't planning to let it leave my person anytime soon.
I must currently be here, on the path about halfway between Fort Moonmoth and Arkngthand. With a moment's exercise of will, the magic on the map flared to life to confirm that fact.
...why were the looters being so open about their presence so close to an Imperial Fort, anyway? They must be either very stupid or very clever, and with the way my luck had been going lately it probably wasn't going to be the former. Why no worries about being discovered by the Legion? Did they expect their story about being archaeologists to stand up to scrutiny?
Well, no matter for now. Here was the bridge, here the ruin of Arkngthand, denoted by a small gear symbol on the map. The path I'd been following left the bridge and the ruins to snake its way through the hills. Some distance away (a distance significantly less measured as the cliff-racer flew than as the Adryn walked, I noted gloomily) it met a second path. That one...
Hope blossomed as I traced the second path on its way southwest. It passed directly behind Arkngthand on its way, then reached a region I knew quite well.
I let my finger rest on the words Lake Amaya.
Come to think of it, now that I thought about it I vaguely remembered a path that had branched off the route to the shrine at Kummu in order to vanish into the hills. I'd looked at it for a moment, contemplating escape, before the minion of Molag Bal disguised as a pilgrim had caught up to me and ordered me on.
It looked like it might just be possible to access the ruin from Lake Amaya, which wasn't at all far from here. Better yet, there was the possibility the looters only had guards posted at the approach to the main entrance. Even if my luck didn't reach that far, I had a lot more confidence in my ability to sneak past guards once one took bridges out of the picture.
I forced myself up and off the rock with a groan. There wasn't that much daylight left – I wanted to make the best use of it that I could.
A few hours later, I let myself collapse against one of the metal towers. All my limbs were throbbing with pain, but that didn't remove the triumphant smile from my face.
I felt I deserved to have it, considering how bleak things had looked not long ago.
As it turned out, the path passed within spitting distance of the ruin, yes... if one allowed the direction in question to be vertical. I'd forgotten how deceptive height could be on maps, meaning that the sheer cliff that separated me and Arkngthand had come as something of a surprise.
I was a good climber, but the distance to the top was far enough and looked unsafe enough that I hadn't wanted to attempt it with no supplies. I'd been weighing the difficulty of trying the long way around, growing steadily gloomy at the thought of things like the length of the journey, the likelihood of encountering hostile wildlife, the fact that the sun was already brushing the hilltops to the west...
Then I remembered the amulet.
It turns out that a Slowfall spell is quite a multifunctional thing. As well as saving anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves in mid-air from an ignominous death involving sounds like splat, it is also a climber's best friend. Being near-immune to gravity makes ropes and harnesses unnecessary, heights irrelevant and impossible reaches a cinch. The only issue is that you do have to be quick, as the enchantment running out would qualify as a Very Bad Thing indeed.
In short, I made my way up that cliff like a veritable spider, and my amulet still had a charge left when I reached the top. Honestly, I should've learned this spell years ago. It would have saved me any number of bruises.
Well, enough patting myself on the back. Time to investigate the ruins.
Arkngthand's towers sprouted from a hill bordering the foyada. I'd come out on the slope to the southeast of the summit, out of view of the bridge – and its guard. A quick look around proved that that I was alone. Fortunately for me, the looters had apparently decided the cliff didn't need to be watched.
Dwemer citadels of this size, I remembered, were generally built with a single well-marked main entrance and either no secondary entrance at all or an emergency exit designed in such a way to make sure it could not be used by attackers. In Arkngthand's case, the main entrance was likely near the bridge... and therefore within the guard's line of sight.
Thankfully for me, dusk had fallen by now. The western horizon was still bright, but above it was dark enough to make out the Lady looking down on us mortals from the sky. In this lighting, a greyish figure against ash would hardly be noticed at all...
...especially since I was a little more greyish than usual, I thought ruefully as I brushed at the ash on the front of my shirt. My climb had left me thoroughly covered in the stuff.
As I crested the hill, I spied a circle of light just ahead and ducked behind a boulder. An armoured figure was standing where the bridge I'd failed to cross that morning met land again, a lantern held high in his gauntleted grip.
Idiot.
It wasn't full dark yet, and with the clear night this was shaping up to be, Masser and Secunda would give plenty of light. He'd have to squint a little without the lantern, true, and the low light might make it harder to spot someone beginning to cross the bridge. However, in the process of making the idea of sneaking past him on the bridge completely impossible instead of just almost certainly impossible, he'd destroyed his night vision. And I was well outside the lantern's light.
At the bottom of the hill, I was close enough to make out more details, but still far enough away the guard could have looked right at me without seeing me. It was the same guard as the one I'd met earlier, and he was standing in front of a pile of crates that definitely hadn't been there then. They must've received supplies.
...in broad daylight, less than an hour from an Imperial fort? What was going on here, anyway?
I reminded myself firmly of a certain saying involving cats and curiosity (one which, for the record, it's unwise to repeat near Khajiit). However this particular criminal band had managed things so they didn't need to worry about Imperial repercussions, it was none of my business. What was my business was that the guard seemed completely focused on the bridge – and so, thanks to my adventures in climbing, away from both me and the ruin.
The entrance to the ruin was easy to spot. Dozens of footprints had worn a path off the road to a tower that was larger and wider than the others. They stopped at a round bulge of stone at its base. As I crept closer, a shadow resolved itself into a split straight down the middle.
A protective measure, I knew, shielding the door proper. From the inside, there'd be some button or lever that would crack it open. From the outside, a handle located some distance away from the door, which could be deactivated from the inside to repel invaders. Bubbles like that had been popular during the war to free Resdayn, being excellent protection against siege from the Nords, but fallen out of favour later due to how awkward they made daily coming and going-
I frowned. Something was niggling at me.
None of the books I'd read about the Dwemer had discussed the war. Besides, I hadn't read that much, and there had been enough highly distracting things happening at the same time it was a wonder I remembered anything. Where was this flood of knowledge coming from?
I lost my thoughts to a dull throb of pain building at my temples. I gritted my teeth as it slowly died down. My morning headache had been gone by the time I got back to the guild after my chat with Masalinie. If I'd had any suspicion it might make a resurgence, I'd have left this trip until tomorrow-
A rumbling sound interrupted my thoughts. The crack in the stone shuddered.
Quick as a flash, I crouched behind a nearby rock.
The bubble split open with a tortured screech, the mechanism which had lain unused for millennia clearly protesting this forceful end to their retirement. A Nord emerged, ducking his head to manage the doorway.
"Bato, there you are." The Imperial guard approached, holding his torch high. I squinted. "About time, too! Sunset's just about over. Did you lot finish yet for today?"
The Nord shook his head, sending blond braids flying. "The boss wants the one room cleared out, and it's taken longer than he thought. You should hear him yelling about 'the schedule'." He spat, then turned to look at the crates. "Are those..."
"Arrived just now. A keg of mazte, two cases of shein, one of Black-Briar's mead-"
"Black-Briar's?" The tone, I thought, would have been significantly more suited to the words a casket full of treasure, or possibly an unknown ingredient. Behind the rock, I rolled my eyes. If I live to be a thousand, I will never understand Nords and their mead.
Judging by the Imperial's sigh, he felt similarly. "-and one of Weynon beer, which I'll thank you to leave to people who'll appreciate it."
"You can keep that swill. Man, Black-Briar's, I haven't had that since I left Skyrim. You guys had better hurry up in there so we can crack the kegs."
The Imperial stretched, his back making alarming popping sounds I could hear even from my distance. "Once I let them know what's waiting out here for them I think they'll find reasons to speed up the work. As for me, it's been frightfully boring today – I look forward to actually doing something other than standing around." He paused. "Although you should know that if Boss Crito should suspect you've started drinking while on watch... while the rest of us are still working... I don't think it'll go well for you."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm not stupid, Granius. Give me the lantern, will you?"
After a brief exchange, the Nord stayed nearby while the Imperial made his way into the ruin. When the bubble slammed shut behind him, it managed to avoid causing any avalanches or earthquakes, although I suspected it was a close-run thing.
I slumped behind my rock. Why couldn't things be easy, for once? Why couldn't there have been a... an entrance nicely tucked away out of sight of the bridge, with no strange exertions involving levers and bubble-shields necessary to enter, never to mention well-oiled hinges. Or a window! Or a chimney! As things stood, I couldn't think of any way to enter the ruin without alerting everyone within a mile.
"Man." The Nord's expression was about as despairing as mine. "Black-Briar's. And I'm on guard duty."
This seemed a bit extreme even for a Nord. Then again, he had said that he was in withdrawal. If this was a general issue for Nords in Morrowind, I might have to invest in a few bottles for distraction purposes. Just imagine if I'd thrown a bottle at Bolvyn Venim, back in the mansion! Allfool would have been after it like a shot, and in the confusion I'd surely have been able to escape without aerial acrobatics...
The mansion. There was something about the mansion. Varvur and Bolvyn Venim, and Allfool with his lockpicks...
...and the guards, slumped asleep next to the door to Varvur's cell when we entered. Allbraggart had bribed a maid to drug the stew, he'd said.
"...can't believe Crito's insisting we have to wait to break open the booze..."
I'd made many potions for this trip. Sleeping potions among the number.
And so I had my plan.
Inside the bubble, I hit the lever that would keep it from closing, then the one to open the door to the ruin proper. The screech of the hinges was ear-splitting, but nothing compared to the massive clang when it shut behind me. I winced at the sound, waiting for the shouts of alarm to start. That had been loud enough to wake the dead. If even one of the looters had abstained-
Silence. I heaved a sigh of relief and silently thanked Shor, Kyne and normalised alcoholism as I crept forward.
Doctoring the alcohol had gone far more easily than expected, considering the presence of the Nord guard. But he'd mostly stayed near the bridge, his back to the crates. That and the torch he'd stupidly taken over from his predecessor made it possible to stay out of sight.
I also found I had something else to thank Masalinie for – our conversation had given me the courage to try out the telekinesis spell I'd learned from Estirdalin again. Given how much it had helped, I suspected trying to manage without it would have ended in disaster. Not only had it allowed me to float bottles, pop corks and brace kegs with not a rustle of cloth to give me away, the one time the Nord decided to wander close to stare at the trove of alcohol I'd been able to send rocks tumbling near the bridge. The noise had distracted him enough that I could hide.
Now, of course, I hadn't needed to worry. The man had put up a good fight against temptation, but succumbed in the end. When a group of the bandits came out to bring the booze inside now that the day's looting was done, several bottles of mead went mysteriously missing on the way. Now the Nord was deep in dreamland, leaving the entrance to Arkngthand free.
It had been a good thing that I hadn't tried to sneak in while the looters were awake, I discovered. The ramp that must once have led from the entrance level down to the main part of the citadel had apparently not survived the intervening millennia. In order to let people get down without breaking their necks, someone had hewn a path down out of the rock of the wall. A narrow, winding ledge with torches placed at regular intervals, anyone who took it would be completely exposed to all eyes.
At the bottom, the sight of a looter camp and sound of snoring greeted me. A quiet count made it eleven sleeping bodies, ranging from another Nord who might, physically improbable as it might seem, be even taller than the one outside to a slight Imperial woman who'd fallen asleep in mage robes. All humans, I noted, not a mer nor Khajiit nor Argonian among the lot. Odd, but I didn't know if that meant anything in the context of Morrowind. More importantly, to my admittedly inexperienced eye all of them looked like tough, hard-bitten characters who would probably be able to squash me like a fly if it came to a fight.
...it would be really good if I could get out of here before any of them woke up.
I closed my eyes and remembered the description Hasphat had given me.
A cube of bronze metal, around five or six inches in size. Each side of the cube is divided into nine squares with a symbol etched into each square. The sides can be rotated.
Target acquired.
I smiled to myself as I ghosted towards the door leading further into the ruins. It was time to show Antabolis how a professional – well, ex-professional – thief handled this.
Some time later, I was feeling far less cocky. Indeed, "desperate" would probably be a more accurate description of my mood. I'd swear that I'd been through every nook and cranny of the rooms I'd seen so far only to turn up... nothing.
Well, not nothing per se. All the rooms I'd found contained various furniture, battered and rusted by the progress of the ages but still recognisable, as well as heavy machinery, cogs, and random detritus. The one I was currently in was the first I'd seen that also contained portable items such as decorated goblets and plates, weapons hanging on the wall, and small engraved silver discs which I suspected had been Dwemer currency, once upon a time. Most likely the looters hadn't reached this far yet.
A fact one could also deduce by this room's inhabitant.
Beneath me, the spider-shaped Dwemer automaton that had been scrabbling at the legs of the table finally gave up as whatever rusted cogs served as its brain informed it that no, unless it suddenly learned how to levitate it wouldn't be able to reach me. I watched it trundle off, wanting it to be a safe distance away before I risked descending back into clawing range.
The machine's presence was a clear sign that it was time for me to turn back. True, according to what I'd read so-called 'spider centurions' were dangerous in certain situations but overall not much of a threat as their programming was quite straightforward and they weren't very mobile (facts which I'd now verified through empirical evidence). Nevertheless, getting past it would take time – time I might not have to spare. And who knew what might be crawling around deeper in the ruin? The last thing I wanted was to run into one of the giant metal men described in Ruins of Kemel-Ze.
But I still hadn't found Hasphat's thrice-cursed cube. What if it was further i-
Wait a moment.
Some part of my mind was metaphorically jumping up and down, yelling at me to stop and think things through for a moment. It sounded, I noticed, a lot like Charon when he thought that I was about to do something only Sheogorath would think advisable.
All right. I pushed down the squirming sense of urgency, let myself settle cross-legged on the table (which had held up under both my weight and the spider centurion's attempts at climbing with admirable fortitude considering its age) and focused on the part of my mind that had apparently absorbed some forethought from Charon, miracle though he might have deemed that fact.
What are you doing, Adryn?
I'm trying to steal a so-called 'puzzle cube' from a Dwemer ruin that's infested with both hostile automatons and looters. I'm doing it because Hasphat Antabolis wants the thing, and Caius Cosades wants me to help Antabolis, and all that adds up to 'I have no choice'-
There. I was missing something in that line of thought. I focused...
I was stealing the puzzle cube for Hasphat Antabolis. He was the one who'd told me it was in Arkngthand.
How did he know where it was?
It could have been recorded in a book from back when the Dwemer were around, of course... but with four thousand years in between, anything could have happened to a portable, valuable object such as the puzzle cube. If his information had been that outdated, he should have had some doubt, and he'd sounded absolutely certain of its location. No, Hasphat's source had to have been more recent. Someone like...
Like one of the looters who was currently occupying the ruins.
"I am a prize idiot." I said it in a whisper, not wanting to attract any more Dwemer attention, but all the same I felt a statement of such utter and profound truth deserved to be proclaimed to the world.
The cube was in the possession of one of the looters. It had to be in their camp. The camp where its inhabitants might be waking up very, very soon. The camp right at the entrance that I'd seen with my own two eyes, then ignored to head straight into the uncharted depths of the ruins. If only I'd stopped to think back when I'd entered, I could be halfway back to Balmora with the cube in my pocket right now.
"A prize idiot," I whispered again, and after looking around carefully to make sure the spider centurion was definitely nowhere near I slipped down off the table to retrace my steps.
Back at the entrance some time later, I eased the metal door shut behind me. My arms burned at the weight of the thing, but I gritted my teeth and grimly hung on.
Dosing the doctored alcohol had been tricky since I hadn't known who would drink how much of what. Since I also hadn't wanted to kill anyone, I'd erred on the low side. For all I knew one of the looters was already awake, which meant that accidentally slamming the door would qualify as a Very Bad Thing.
Finally, it shut with a soft snick. I silently thanked whichever of the looters had decided to oil the hinges as I eased forward.
The camp looked exactly the same as I'd left it, and the sound of snoring was, if anything, even louder than before. I frowned.
I could leave now, decide it was too dangerous, come back and try another day...
...but could I, truly? I still had no idea how to get past the entrance without raising the alarm. It was a miracle things had panned out to get me this far this time, I couldn't count on being able to drug the entire camp again.
I let my eye rove over the sleeping camp again. All of its inhabitants looked to be firmly in dreamland.
What time was it, anyway? It had been full dark when I'd entered the ruin, and it must have been several hours since then. And although nervous energy and the desire not to die obscured it, I was definitely tired right now. Gone midnight, well into those early hours of the morning recognised primarily by criminals, nightwatchmen and vampires, as well as any intersections between those categories. Chances were that my looter camp had slipped smoothly from drugged unconsciousness into natural sleep.
All right. A quick look. And if any of the looters seemed like they were about to wake, I'd hightail it out of there.
So. Who had the cube?
The mage, I thought. They hadn't shipped it off yet, if Antabolis' intelligence was solid. Perhaps one of the looters had found it interesting and decided to keep it, and a mage seemed the most likely to be intrigued by a mysterious Dwemer artifact.
The Imperial woman in mage robes I'd noted earlier was sprawled over her bedroll, arms akimbo, mouth hanging open, a rather unsightly puddle of drool forming at the corner of her mouth. I eyed the number of empty bottles lying next to her, then her slight figure, and decided that I didn't have to worry about her waking up anytime soon. I'd almost worry about her waking up again ever, low dosages notwithstanding, except that her snores had transcended being merely loud and were making a valiant attempt at deafening. There was no way a corpse could make that much noise, and that was including necromancy. I was frankly surprised it was possible for anyone other than a very large giant trained in the thu'um. Why had I bothered being careful with the door earlier, again?
And this was really no time to go off on tangents, Adryn.
I knelt down next to Miss Probably-Has-Giant-Blood and began to rifle through her pile of belongings, a matter made more difficult by the fact that she'd apparently never so much as heard of the word organisation. Spell tomes were stacked on crumpled robes, an empty wine bottle was lying tipped sideways on top of a scroll. It would serve the mage right if the last dregs stained the runes and made it unusable. Several corked ingredient vials that made my fingers itch (those were fire salts if I'd ever brewed a potion) had been scattered across the floor, a hazard for anyone in the vicinity who wasn't watching where they were going.
I'd never complain about Ingerte's tendency to strew her belongings around the vicinity of her bed again-
No. I wouldn't, would I.
For the love of the Nine, I was currently crouched in the middle of a bandit lair whose inhabitants would be most distinctly unhappy if they woke up to find me here. This was really no place to get lost in memory. Or, worse, to start crying. I tried to avoid crying when I could, seeing as it was messy, unproductive, and humiliating... but that wasn't even scratching the surface of how extremely inappropriate it would be in the present situation. It should be obvious that tears were absolutely out of the question right now, so I didn't understand why my eyes were stinging so.
I clenched my hands into fists, letting my fingernails bite into my palms. After a long moment where I tried very hard to think of nothing but the sharp pain in my hands, I went back to work. If I was blinking a little more frequently than usual, there was no one to witness it and I'd deny everything.
The chaos meant it took far longer than I'd have liked, but in the end I found myself certain: wherever the cube was, it wasn't here.
Right. Not the mage, then. I heaved myself upright. There was a close call as I almost pitched sideways, my legs half-asleep. How long had I spent crouched down there – how long had my weakness cost me? Was it dawn yet?
My hands were shaking, I noticed dimly. I wanted to leave.
But I still hadn't found the cube.
All right. Think. Think! ...don't think of shoving the damn thing up Antabolis' nostril once I finally returned with it. Although that was indeed a valuable and viable train of thought which I'd like to consider at length later, now was really not the time.
Who had the cube?
...the leader, of course.
It was so obvious I could have kicked myself, if not for the fact that I'd have kicked Miss Giantsdottir as well and this would have resulted in what we in the trade call 'very bad things'.
But really now. A gang of looters is cleaning out a Dwemer ruin when they come across an item none of them have ever seen before. It's small, it's portable, it's mysterious, it's probably extremely valuable. Any bandit leader worth his bounty will go "no, I claim that by right of being the one who can bash all your heads together."
It was a predictable course of action, I'd seen something like it play out time and time again, and I should have thought of it immediately. Instead, my head had been full of the mages of the guild, of Trebonius' task and Edwinna and Dwemer scholarship, and my mind had leapt to the mage. Much like earlier that night when I'd headed straight past the camp into the dungeon depths, I'd gotten ahead of myself, drawn connections where none existed, and jumped to a wrong conclusion. It was a mistake I'd made all too often before... except that this time, there was no one around who could catch it.
My eyes were stinging again, I noticed dimly. Why they had to choose now to act up was beyond me. It was true that I might be due a grief-stricken breakdown, but I had no intention of indulging in one and this was definitely not the place or time.
I'd mistreated my palms enough for one night, so this time I bit my tongue to bring myself back to the present. So the leader had the cube. Who was the leader, then? Back in Skyrim, I'd have gone straight to the largest Nord in the place... but this wasn't Skyrim, and it was time to stop making assumptions.
I left the mage's side to make my way through the camp, studying each sleeper as I went. Breton, Imperial, Redguard-
A snort-
My heart almost leapt out of my throat as the huge Nord I'd just passed snorted loudly, the steady rhythm of his snoring interrupted. I froze, tensed to take flight, as his brow wrinkled in a frown. Then, after a harrowing moment, he relaxed and the snores resumed. It took a moment longer before I felt ready to move again.
I firmly squashed the urge to go for the nearest bag and hightail it out of there. I'd definitely overstayed my welcome... but that meant I couldn't afford another wrong choice.
Breton, Imperial...
I stopped.
Unlike the others, who'd spread their bedrolls over the floor, this man had apparently decided an ancient Dwemer bedstead was still up to its original job, and dragged a crate over to serve as a nightstand. A piece of parchment was lying on it. I carefully unfurled it.
Dear Crito,
...eating enough of whatever passes for vegetables in Morrowind? Are any of the other legionnaires being mean to you? You know I'm happy to come visit and beat them up for you... This paragraph was followed by a doodle of a triumphant stick figure standing on a pile of bodies.
...thought I'd try some true-and-tested Grandma-style nagging, someone should keep it going. Not sure it suits me, though. So what if you don't have enough long underwear and are freezing your bits off, there are things a sister does not want to know about the contents of her brother's trousers...
...found a new healer for Father, you know I never trusted the old one...
...won't deny the money you're sending is coming in extremely handy, but can you afford it? I know what a guard's salary is like, even with that mysterious special mission you mentioned the Knight-Protector sent you on...
...tell me more about that special assignment, will you? Speaking as someone older and wiser: acting all mysterious about it just makes it seem like you're still twelve...
...your loving sister (who can still beat you up),
Schlera
Well. I'd learned this particular looter had an unexpectedly touching motivation for his crimes along with a both loving and deluded family, but I didn't really see how that was any particular help in this situation...
Wait a minute.
Hadn't the looter on the bridge mentioned needing to talk to a 'Boss Crito'?
And looking more closely at his gear... that armour was definitely a cut above what the rest of the bandits had, and that sword was steel rather than iron, its edges glimmering red with destructive enchantment.
All right. I'd found the bandit leader. Now for the cube.
Unlike the Imperial mage, this Crito had kept his belongings carefully organised. A perfectly even stack of Dwemer coins here, a tidy pyramid of arrowheads there, his clothes not just folded so precisely the corners could probably draw blood but organised by colour. Either neat to the point of obsessiveness or an ex-legionnaire, and his sister's letter implied the latter. It made me even more eager to be out of here before the man woke up, and I'd already been so twitchy I'd probably end up on the ceiling if anyone coughed. However, the level of organisation at least made it easy to see that the cube was nowhere in sight.
I bit down a hiss of frustration. Where was the blasted thing? If the mage didn't have it, the boss didn't have it, then who-
As I turned away from Crito, I saw a gleam of reflected torchlight coming from under the bed... just where a small item might have fallen if it had been knocked off the nightstand.
Despite the situation, I couldn't help the broad grin that spread across my face as I put my pack down, knelt and finally, finally picked up Antabolis' cube.
At first glance, it looked much like Antabolis had described. I didn't give it a second glance. I didn't think it was likely there were two similar cubes in this dump, and careful study of my prize could wait until I was out of here. Speaking of, it was past and well past time to withdraw-
"Whazzat? Izzit dawn 'lready?"
If I hadn't been so tense, that might have been it for me. But some part of my mind had been waiting for precisely this to happen the whole time I'd been searching the camp, had been preparing to flee or hide at a moment's notice. And so my reflexes had me flat on the ground under the bed, pulling my pack in beside me, before Crito had finished rubbing his eyes.
"Ugh, m'head..." came from above me.
Go back to sleep, I willed silently. You're tired, you have a hangover, it can't be dawn yet. Just go back to sleep, you know you want to...
The bedstead above creaked alarmingly as the weight it was bearing shifted. Crito, providing unknowing proof that I did not have any sort of natural powers of telepathy, was sitting up.
"...coulda sworn I didn' drink tha' much yesserday... Dibella, I needda piss..." Two hairy feet hit the ground inches from my nose.
If he was just going to relieve himself, I might still have a chance. I'd seen the stinking corner with its chamberpot that was clearly being used for that purpose earlier, and it was some distance away. He'd be slow, bleary, unobservant. It would be tricky with the exposed route to the entrance, true, but surely I could avoid one half-asleep hungover bandit...
I watched the feet move away with bated breath. One step, two steps, three, four... then they stopped.
"Waitasec. Crist'sh, what're ya doin' asleep? Shouldn'ya be on wash?" A pause. The next sentence came out far clearer, slow, thoughtful and terribly, terribly awake. "Shouldn't someone be on watch...?"
Oh no.
"Oi! Maggots! Rise and shine!"
I should just stop hoping for things. It inevitably made the universe decide to prove me wrong.
I closed my eyes against the sense of rising despair as around me, the looter camp came awake.
Chapter 15: Chapter Fourteen
Notes:
If anyone has any tips for getting AO3 numbering to play nicely, I'd welcome them. The off-by-one ever since I posted an interlude is getting old.
Chapter Text
There had been a small library attached to the orphanage at Daggerfall. It had, I suspected, been one of the things the priestesses used to tell each other how good, how generous they were being. Imagine – not only taking in the poor deprived orphans, but teaching them to read! Giving them books! What kindness, what graciousness, the very image of Kynareth herself. This conclusion would, of course, be reached without actually inspecting the contents of said library. I myself had done so repeatedly and at length growing up, and the contents and state of the books had driven me to the inescapable conclusion that the last time it had been supplied had been in the Second Era.
The most popular books by far had been an adventure series. The language had been archaic, the depictions of anyone other than Bretons or Redguards often downright insulting, and the descriptions of the world had left me briefly under the impression the Summerset Isles were an independent state and there was currently civil war in Cyrodiil (I really wasn't kidding about the Second Era), but there's a certain style of cheesy pulp that remains gripping no matter how many centuries lie between you and its publication.
One of series' conceits had been to start every book with the words so, there I was. So, there I was, fingers just inches away from the Dread Ayleid-King's crown... So, there I was, clinging to a plank in the middle of the Abecean Sea... Hiding in the library, I'd dreamed of one day being in a situation that deserved being described in the fashion. How exciting! How romantic! What an amazing change it would be from my dreary life in the orphanage!
I'd been a real idiot when I was younger.
So, there I was, hiding under a bed at the edge of a looter camp in an active Dwemer ruin, trying not to breathe too loudly lest the bandits notice I was there. I had to say that so far I didn't feel particularly inclined to tell my hypothetical grandchildren about this one, but if I did I'd have to stress that of all the adjectives one could use to describe this situation, exciting did not make the list.
(Said grandchildren were never particularly close to reality. They were, however, even more hypothetical than usual today – such facts as 'Adryn is completely disinterested in the sort of activity that leads to children' and 'Adryn is demonstrably incapable of taking care of herself, let alone helpless offspring' are eclipsed by 'Adryn is currently uncertain she will survive the next few hours' as far as the likelihood to procreate is concerned.)
Given the current constraints of my vision, the only thing I could really see were feet. However, my hearing was unimpeded and judging by the amount of groaning, Crito's attempt to rouse the rest of the camp sounded unfortunately successful.
"Lazy rats, skiving off on watch, lying in bed when there's work to be done," I heard from up ahead. "Get up already, will you... ah, there we are."
Rustling, and then light flared. Even under the bed, I squeezed my eyes shut against the glare. The chorus of complaints around the room indicated the groggy looters' reflexes hadn't been quite so quick as mine.
"Have mercy! I need those eyes!"
"The night after a celebration? Has he lost his mind?"
"If you don't let me go back to sleep this instant there'll be blood!"
As Crito bellowed at the last one, I began a slow shuffle away.
In my professional experience as a thief, under the bed is not a safe hiding place. Better than none, certainly, but it's the first place many people will look – children especially. Never to mention that once you're under there, you're pretty thoroughly stuck in place. No, I had to move. And the moment when the gang leader decided to destroy everyone's night vision seemed like a good time to me.
In the small things if not the big, Nocturnal was with me. Crito had set up his bed at the very edge of the camp, away from the bedrolls spread by the other bandits. The side of the bed I'd now reached came out on haphazardly stacked crates. Although I felt in some danger of being crushed by them toppling over, they were at least distinctly unlikely to raise an alarm.
And, more to the point, the gap between those two looked wide enough to crawl through.
It was only once I'd managed to make it behind the crates that I dared sit up. I felt raw and scratched from the grit I'd dragged myself through, I doubted my poor shirt would ever recover, and my heart had been in my throat every agonised inch – but it couldn't be helped. I hadn't dare move in a way that might make me visible from the main part of the camp. Distracted, hungover and half-blinded the bandits might be, but there is nothing that focuses an eye like movement.
Which, admittedly, made the whole question of getting back to the entrance – the sole, ludicrously exposed, difficult to reach entrance where the door could wake the dead, if not the drugged – rather... tricky.
Well, first things first.
With a moment of concentration and a twist of magicka, I sent my consciousness outwards. It took a little more focus to tune the Detection spell for what I wanted to look for, but soon I was feeling the pulse of life from the camp, eleven distinct signatures. I noted with resignation that only three were still muted with sleep – the remnants of my drug had not stood up well to Crito's determination. More to the point, none of them were making their way toward me. I was still hidden.
(Well, unless one of them cast a detection spell of their own. Rule Twelve: never forget that your targets also have access to magic. Many an aspiring thief who thought they'd found safe refuge has been most unpleasantly surprised that way. Thankfully, people don't generally start off their mornings magically scanning their surroundings for hidden enemies – especially when they're hungover.)
Keeping a mental 'eye' on the life-signatures of the looters, I turned to my pack.
Amazingly, I'd managed to keep it with me so far. Its contents had not, however, survived the night's adventures wholely unscathed: judging by the wet spot on the bottom, at least one of the vials had broken. I brushed the sticky residue, lifted it to my finger and sniffed. An energising potion. It would have come in handy now, considering that even high on nervous energy I was starting to feel my exhaustion. I supposed I should just be grateful it hadn't been a smoke-bomb – that would definitely have drawn attention I'd like to avoid.
It really was only one broken potion; I'd tried to cushion the vials using one of my robes, and that had apparently paid off. All the same, I'd been expecting more Dwemer automata and fewer bandits, and the contents of my pack reflected that. There were quite a few potions to accelerate corrosion and rust which I'd created in the hopes that they might immobilise a centurion. They might even have worked quite well for their intended purpose, but they were of sadly limited use in the present situation. At least, I didn't think being stabbed by a rusty sword was much of an improvement over being stabbed by a polished one. I did pack a few sleeping potions, but those had all gone into the alcohol. There were a few of those smoke potions, one improvised flashbang, those had potential... also the vial of off-violet liquid I'd brewed following one of Ajira's recipes which should give me the power of levitation. A possible way up to the ledge? Except that it'd be no use if I immediately had eight angry bandits on my tail...
But maybe one?
I'd been listening to the grumbling bandits with half an ear. Although by the sounds of it everyone was feeling like death right now and some were still insensible, no one seemed suspicious of the way everyone had lost consciousness yesterday. No suspicion was good. If they only posted a single person on watch tonight... I was all out of sleeping potions, but I might be able to use the smoke potions to confuse them, levitate up to the ledge and hightail it out before they could mobilise, then lose any pursuers in the dark...
It wasn't a great plan, especially since by tonight I'd have gone one and a half days without sleep and that is, to put it mildly, not a state in which it's particularly wise to rely on your razor-sharp intellect and keen reflexes. But it was the only plan I had.
I'd just have to hunker down today, hope nothing happened to put them on alert-
One of the life-signatures was approaching me.
I froze into stillness, hardly daring to breathe. Footsteps neared along with the burning sensation of life... stopped. Still some steps away, I noted with relief, if not as many as I'd like. By the bed, and wasn't I glad I'd left that hiding place.
"Hey." It was Crito, and his voice was ominously calm. "Where's the cube?"
Sometimes I wondered why I even bothered getting up in the morning.
Rummaging noises came from the other side of the crates. "The cube?" Crito raised his voice. "You know, the extremely rare item our kind benefactor is paying us large amounts of money to deliver? The entire reason we're even in these ruins in the first place? The cube I know for a fact was on my nightstand yesterday evening?"
How was it that, despite significant temptation (primarily in the form of rare ingredients), I'd stolen one single solitary item and yet it was immediately missed? Seriously, what Daedra had I insulted to explain this kind of luck?
A second life-signature joined Crito's. "Keep your voice down, will you?" The voice was female, tinged with some Cyrodiilic accent – Nibeynese, I thought – and sounded as if the owner was definitely contemplating murder. "I'm having a hard enough time keeping my skull from exploding without you yelling loud enough to bring back the Dwemer. Have you checked under the bed?"
Really glad I'd left that hiding place.
A rustle. "Nothing." Crito's voice was quieter now. He pitched it even lower as he continued. "Livia, I told the Knight-Protector we'd have it for him today. Apparently his... patron has been getting impatient. If it's gone, he'll have our heads-"
"Don't be such a coward, it's not a good look for you," apparently-Livia hissed in response. "Besides, do you think the thing grew legs and ran away? Nobody's left since yesterday, Bato is guarding the entrance-"
"And I told you I was worried about competition! Curse Bato for not being able to keep his mouth shut when he's drunk, at this point I expect even the Telvanni have heard about the cube. Damn Dwemer-obsessed mages, Granius told me there was a chit from the Mages' Guild sniffing around yesterday-"
Well. This had proven an unexpectedly informative hiding place. If I had this right, I'd learned not just how Antabolis had known about the cube but also how the looters could afford to be so open with their presence next to an Imperial fort. I'd be happy, except that in retrospect I'd really have preferred to stay ignorant of the last one. So the Knight-Protector at the local fort was corrupt and I didn't have a single shred of proof for that. I had no idea what I could even do with that knowledge, apart from get myself killed.
An ostentatious yawn. Livia. "I have to point out that you're crying about thieves and mages and Telvanni without even having searched for the thing. Chances are Bato crated it with the rest of the loot when you weren't around to stop him. Have a look around, will you?"
...why was I worrying about hypotheticals when there were so many ways to get myself killed right here?
"I'm not so confident, but I guess it can't hurt to look." Crito raised his voice again. "Cockroaches! I want to see all of you hard at work searching our outgoing shipments for the cube! Anyone who lags has to eat the leftover polenta tonight!"
So my hiding place no longer seemed nearly as safe and secure as it had a few minutes earlier. True, no one was making motions towards it right now – Crito and Livia apparently preferring to stand and supervise – but it could only be a matter of time. I'd try to relocate except that judging by the way the looters were fanning out, no hiding place in the whole ruin was safe. (That leftover polenta must be a truly dire threat.) There was no way I'd be able to keep away from them all day. Plan A was out.
...it'd help if I had a plan B.
Could I fit the new information I'd just learned into any of this? Crito thought knowledge of the cube was widespread, was – correctly – worried about someone stealing it, although his suspicion seemed to fall more on mages than on members of the Fighter's Guild with a keen historical interest. He'd mentioned the guild and the Telvanni, who Varvur had told me were magic users-
Bolvyn Venim had thought I was Telvanni, that had been the context, and Varvur hadn't thought it strange. What had he said, again? You do look rather Telvanni, come to think of it...
And with that, plan B sprung into my head. It was even riskier than plan A, but sometimes you just don't have much of a choice about these things.
There was a great deal of muttering among the looters. No one was particularly happy about being dragged out of a sound sleep at the crack of dawn to search for an item their leader should (or so the whispers went) really have kept a better eye on. Especially considering there were no hangover potions to be found.
The grumbling was broken by the sound of glass breaking, followed by billows of smoke.
"What the-"
"Is that the fire?"
As the looters milled in confusion I stepped forward, letting my illusion snap into place as I did.
"Wait a moment there. Who in Oblivion are you?"
The downside of my smoke bombs was that they didn't last particularly long. Pity, really – if they had, I might have been able to make it up to the ledge unseen and avoid all this rigmarole. As it was, the smoke was dissipating only seconds after the bottles had broken, and Crito had seen me.
I squelched the urge to back away from the man. The looters were disoriented and confused by the smoke and my sudden appearance, but any sign of fear and they'd be on me like a pack of wolves. I had to keep them off-balance, not thinking of attacking.
Instead, I sneered as I fixed my mind on the sounds of Ervesa's voice. My own Skyrim accent would be rather out of place for the figure I was trying to portray. Thankfully, I'd always been good at voices.
"As if a peasant like you deserves to know the name of a member of Great House Telvanni." It came out sounding credibly Morrowindish, I thought as I waved a hand in dismissal. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the sparkle of jewels.
My illusion spells weren't strong enough to make me look completely different, unfortunately. Being able to appear as, say, a man, would have been quite handy in terms of throwing off pursuit. Instead, I had to use my current appearance as a basis. Still, I hoped that I was still pretty much unrecognisable right now. My hair should look neater and darker, more brown than red, my face more angular and bearing the first lines of advancing age, and as for my garb-
Well, I didn't know what constituted typical dress for a Telvanni, so I'd gone for the old mage standby. I'd pulled on the robe I'd used to cushion my potions, then let the illusions spruce it up with lots and lots of shiny things.
"T-telvanni?"
Crito's advance stopped, and his hand left his sword. He looked pale, sick, afraid but trying to hide it. In short: thoroughly taken in.
(I had to admit to a moment of disbelief that this was working.)
"Of course." I scoffed. "Did you really think you could keep such a find hidden from us? As if you magicless peons deserve to lay hands on a treasure like the puzzle cube." I lifted said object in front of me, concentrating on the illusion. Light reflected off the cube as if it glowed...
...and, while all eyes were hopefully on the Dwemer artifact, I gulped down the potion I'd surreptitiously brought to my mouth. I'd never quite understood his antipathy towards magic, but I had to admit the sleight-of-hand Charon had preferred instead was coming in really handy right now.
For an awful moment, I thought it hadn't worked, then I felt my feet leave the ground and my body start to rise.
Slowly.
Seriously, when Ajira had said 'levitation' I'd expected something a little more dramatic. I felt like I was moving at the speed of a drunk bumblebee.
"Thief!" Crito yelled. Well, there was an unforeseen benefit: my rise was slow enough that Crito hadn't noticed.
Now, to keep him distracted and not attacking-
"Me, steal?" I cast around wildly for things an extremely snobbish mage might say. "How dare you accuse me of such a pedestrian crime. I am merely bringing the cube to its rightful owners, the only ones who can be trusted with it. Away from the clutches of thieving outlanders." Throwing that appellation at someone else felt perversely good. "Now, stand back or I can take no responsibility for what will happen to you."
With a moment's thought, I gauged my magicka pool. It was already rather depleted despite the replenishing potion I'd drunk before starting my plan, and what I wouldn't give to have been born under the Mage or Apprentice right now. There was still a respectable amount left, though. Definitely enough to kindle fire in my empty hand.
The Firebite spell was, of course, completely useless in this situation, but that was true for all of my spells. More to the point, it looked impressive. Indeed, one of the bandits who'd been inching closer moved back at the sight of the flames filling my palm.
Crito bared his teeth in frustration. His eyes darted to the side. "Will someone wake Lalaine already?" he hissed. "We've got an enemy mage in the camp, this is her job to deal with-"
"Sorry, boss, she's sleeping like the dead."
Thank Shor for that mage's love of alcohol, indeed. The last thing I wanted right now was someone trained in magic taking a close look at what I was doing.
"Uh, boss? I think the Telvanni's getting away."
The changing light from my special effects had managed to hide it for longer than I'd hoped. All the same, the fact that I was suddenly taller than Crito was hard to ignore, and the purple glow that limned my feet made it rather obvious what was happening.
"What?" Crito snarled, and his hand went back to his sword.
I needed to get out of hitting range right now-
My lazy movement upwards accelerated with a sudden jerk. Oh, so it was a willpower-guided spell, and Ajira's recipe preserved that connection. That would have been very handy to have known five minutes ago.
"Talos damn it." Crito stopped his advance as I ascended, apparently judging that I was too far in the air to stop. Then he smiled. I followed his gaze and just barely kept my face smooth when I saw the Nord with an arrow nocked to his bow.
Talos damn it indeed, I hadn't considered archery. I didn't particularly want to become a pincushion, but I didn't have any protection against arrows-
Which the looters didn't know. From their perspective, I was an all-powerful Telvanni wizard. And although I didn't have any spell that could protect me from arrows... I did have one that looked as though it could.
With a thought, I cast my Rainshield spell. My magicka was beginning to veer into dangerously low territory, but I didn't have much of a choice. As the glowing purple nimbus surrounded me, I forced a smile.
"Yes, by all means, shoot at me." No, really, please don't. "I enjoy seeing arrows bounce off my impenetrable guard." The 'impenetrable guard' meant to keep off rain. It would pop like a soap bubble if it got hit by a particularly large pebble – arrows would go through it like it wasn't even there. "It amuses me to watch the futile struggles of non-mages." Amused was the last thing I'd be if one of them shot me.
For a moment I wasn't sure if my bluff had worked, then the Nord lowered the bow with a scowl. "Damn cheating wizards-"
Well, he had one thing right. I was definitely not playing fair right now.
And with that thought, I found myself hovering over the ledge. An instant later, the potion wore off and I dropped lightly to the ground. I couldn't have timed it better myself.
The smile that spread over my face was, for once, entirely genuine. I'd made it. I'd made it, and the looters were still staring at me slack-jawed-
"Thank you for your hospitality," I sang. After a moment of consideration, I threw my last smoke bomb down at the sea of gaping faces, then turned and ran for it.
Outside, I was greeted by a beautifully clear autumn day, the sun warming my robes. My smile shrank.
True, the Nord guard was still slumped in sleep, which was probably more luck than I deserved considering I'd forgotten about the man completely. All the same, I could really have used an ash-storm, driving rain – clouds, at least. Judging by the muffled shouting from within, Crito had overcome his paralysis and was now exhorting some form of vermin to give chase. I had a head start, but the weather was definitely against me- it wouldn't take at all long until they reached the door-
Reached, yes. Went through?
The door was a huge slab of metal, connected to switches both outside and inside by what must be a very clever series of cogs and counterweights. Said mechanisms were generally hidden away, but just to the left of the door the passage of time had eroded away their protective covering, exposing a forest of gears to the air.
With trembling fingers, I took off my pack and dug through it. My antics inside had sorely depleted my store of potions, but I hadn't been able to think of anything to do with...
There.
I gathered the corroding potions I'd created and, one by one, poured them over the exposed mechanisms. Practiced alchemist though I was, I had to concentrate fiercely to keep my hands steady. If this didn't work, I'd have lost my head start.
Whatever skill of construction, art of metallurgy or clever enchantment it was that had let the Dwemer machinery survive the millennia, it gave way to the concentrated assault of minced Hunger skin and kresh fiber simmered in rooberry oil. Each successive potion produced an acrid cloud and a faint bubbling sound, and by the time the last vial had been emptied the intricate cogwheels had been replaced by a solid wall of rust.
As if on cue, the door shuddered. I could feel myself tremble at the sight, but it didn't open. After a moment, a muffled cry came from inside. "Boss! The door's not working!"
"What?"
Well, that should keep them occupied for a while.
I turned to leave and froze.
Asleep the Nord might have been, but unlike our friend the mage he hadn't downed enough wine to float a ship. The sun was well above the horizon now, and the noise the looters still inside Arkngthand were making could probably be heard back in Balmora. The man's eyelids were fluttering, and-
-and I'd let my illusion lapse after I left Arkngthand.
Quick as thought, I forced it back into place. Even as I did so, black spots swam across my vision. I gritted my teeth and fought against the surge of dizziness until it cleared. That spell was drawing magicka I didn't have, and if I didn't stop casting soon I might as well deliver myself back to Crito right now.
"Whas' goin on? Who in'blivion are you?"
I looked down at the groggy bandit. He was squinting at me in befuddlement, but that wouldn't last.
My ruse had carried me so far, I couldn't break character now. "House Telvanni has come to reclaim their belongings, scum." I attempted a contemptuous sneer, but my heart wasn't in it.
I had no magicka left for special effects. In fact, I was so drained I was honestly a little surprised my illusion hadn't collapsed yet.
I was, however, still holding my pack. And I had one potion left.
Even filtered through eyelids squeezed shut, the light of my flashbang was enough to make me wince. Judging by the agonised howl the looter let out, this was not even comparable to the effect if one happened to be staring straight at the vial when it broke.
The pounding on the door stopped. "Bato?" came a muffled voice. "Are you all right?" A pause. "What in the name of Talos is going on out there, anyway!"
I let the illusion drop and legged it.
"There. One Dwemer cube, delivered as requested." The cube made a solid clink as it hit Antabolis' desk. I couldn't help the triumphant smile that spread over my face at the sound.
I'd opted to wait a day to deliver the cube. It had taken me a significant part of yesterday to get back to Balmora, despite a handy lack of pursuit from Arkngthand. Or possibly because of that lack; terror for one's life can serve as a quite acceptable substitute for both sleep and physical conditioning in certain circumstances. Without it, my body began to lodge complaints.
These complaints were, I had to admit, both justified and significant, involving such matters as "we haven't eaten since last evening", "we haven't slept at all this night", "we've drained our magicka so badly it'll probably take two potions just to get our pool back to empty", and similar concerns. However, as I couldn't actually do anything about any of those things until I returned to Balmora, I really felt it could have held off that long. Alas, it did not, and the miles back passed in a slow, agonising haze. When I reached the town signpost, I could have hugged it.
Correction: it turns out that one's willpower suffers quite a bit when hungry and sleep-deprived, which in turn has a significant impact on one's ability to resist random impulses. I did hug the signpost. The guards almost didn't let me in.
After that, I decided I wasn't in a fit state to be seen by – well, anyone really, but definitely not the man who'd been the cause of all of this – and opted to spend the rest of the day addressing my body's complaints. Marayn did make it clear that my bed in the Mages' Guild was off-limits until the guild closed in the evening, but as this led to lunch in the form of rat-inna-bun from a street vendor followed by a several-hour soak in the hot springs to get clean again and a visit to a laundress to see to my ash-covered clothes (I was relieved when she said they should be salvageable, as I really did not have the money to keep replacing them) it wasn't all bad.
As my mind returned to the present, my smile died. Antabolis hadn't picked up the cube, and the expression on his face could not possibly be called happy. "What is it?" I asked warily. Had there been another cube after all, and I hadn't picked the right one?
"So old Hasphat has some connections in the underworld, you know. Connections that told him Crito and his men were turning over Arkngthand in search for a Dwemer artifact in the first place. A Dwemer artifact that belongs in a real scholar's hands, hands like Hasphat's, not some greedy collector's. Sadly, he may have been a little too open about that opinion, and word that he wanted the cube filtered back to Crito's ears."
I frowned. "Is there a point to this? And a reason why you're talking like a Khajiit?" Perhaps the equivalent of my own Skyrim accent, a man who'd been raised in Elsweyr? But he'd spoken like any other Imperial when I'd first met him.
As Antabolis pinched the bridge of his nose as if to ward off an impending headache, something else struck me. "Wait a moment! You knew about Crito and his men in the ruins." I'd gathered he must have, but this was confirmation from the man's own lips. "You couldn't have warned me? I ran straight into their guard!"
"My point," Antabolis said, ignoring me completely, "is that last night I went to the Southwall Corner-Club to get some drinks. And what did I find but Crito himself, deep in his cups and swearing loudly about the damn Telvanni mage who'd made a mockery of him and his gang. I have to hand it to you – I've never seen the man so murderous in my life."
Truth be told, that bit of information left me feeling more relieved than anything else. This might be considered something of a strange reaction on being told that a band of bandits has sworn revenge on you, but considering they had no way of identifying me I wasn't too worried.
More to the point, on my long walk back I'd been hit by the horrible thought that I might have jammed the door even better than I'd intended, actually trapping those inside. I'd only meant to delay the looters, not endanger their lives, and even telling myself that Nord heads would certainly be hard enough to bash down the door hadn't helped the guilt. As a result, the fact that I hadn't doomed them to a terrible lingering demise qualified as good news, death threats notwithstanding.
"Do you think this is some kind of joke, girl?" Antabolis had apparently misinterpreted my smile.
"What?" I asked, biting down my reflexive reaction at that appellation (two syllables!). "I mean – sure, I had to improvise a little. It would've helped if the Dwemer had left an emergency exit, really. But what's wrong with that? It's true that Crito might be mad, but he has no way of tracing me, or by extension you-"
Antabolis' fist hit the desk in front of him with a meaty thump. The papers shook, and a goblet nearly toppled over. I took a step back.
"No way of tracing you, sure. Up until Hard-Heart sends some minions to check on old Hasphat, since he didn't exactly make a secret of wanting the cube. Or, you know, I publish a scholarly work on the cube, which was the reason I wanted it in the first place. That would make it relatively obvious, don't you think?"
"Oh." My voice was small. For a moment, I almost felt guilty. Then it hit me. "Wait a minute. If that's the case, it would be a problem no matter how I got the cube for you. What, exactly, were you expecting me to do?"
"To do?" Antabolis' mouth opened and closed wordlessly a few times as his eyes bulged. Apparently my entirely innocent, perfectly reasonable inquiry had nearly pushed him over the edge. Finally, he choked out, "I was expecting you to kill them!"
Now it was my turn to gape. "Kill all those people? How would I do that?" A pause. "Why would I do that? They were minding their own business! They hadn't done anything to me!" The letter on Crito's nightstand swam into my memory. "Crito is sending money home to his family, you know. His father is sick and they won't be able to pay the healer without him!"
Antabolis dropped his head into his hands. "Stendarr preserve me, Caius sent a lunatic." His voice was a little muffled by his palms, but I could still make the words out.
I'd have taken offense, but before I could formulate my objection a thought occurred to me. "How exactly was me going on a murder spree supposed to help anything, anyway? Surely this Hard-Heart would still have noticed when you published your article?"
Antabolis looked up, breath hissing out between his teeth. I really didn't understand why he was getting so frustrated, because I was definitely the only one in this room who was making sense right now.
"All right, you naive little idiot," he growled. "Here's an explanation of how the real world works. Radd Hard-Heart, over at Fort Moonmoth, is in Velanda Omani's pocket. The Hlaalu Councilor, if I have to spell it out, the one who's entangled with Orvas Dren and therefore the Cammona godsdamn Tong. Everyone knows that except the Legion. So – Omani hears about some artifact in Arkngthand. It's unique, it's hard to get, so obviously she has to have it. It'd look ever so lovely in her trophy cabinet. Who cares what it's for."
There was real disgust in Antabolis' tone, a scholar indignant about a mere collector. I was starting to think his talk of writing a research article about the cube was in earnest. "She tells Hard-Heart," he continued, "Hard-Heart sends someone expendable. If some adventurer kills them all, loots the ruin and takes the cube, well – that's just how the game goes. Everyone knows that. Same if old Hasphat turns up with it later. Maybe the adventurer sold it to him, maybe Hasphat pulled one over on them. Omani is annoyed, Hard-Heart's even more annoyed, but there'll be other artifacts. They don't care enough to go up against old Hasphat, and Crito's no longer around to care."
The Imperial grinned. I swallowed and moved a little further back. That expression put me more in mind of a saber-cat baring its teeth than anything that could be termed 'friendly'.
"What's completely different is if someone who for some reason thought disguising herself as a Telvanni mage was on the same plane of existence as a good idea waltzes in, steals the cube, and tweaks Crito's nose on the way out. That's not just mocking Omani, that's making her into the Jester King and getting another Great House involved in her affairs, got it? Right now, she's furious, probably trying to figure out which Telvanni decided to play her for a fool. And that's Mara's own peace compared to what Crito is feeling. The instant either of them hears old Hasphat had anything to do with that- the moment someone thinks old Hasphat went to the Telvanni-" He drew a finger across his throat demonstratively.
"Um." I considered apologising, but somewhere between my mind and my mouth the word sorry turned into, "I think you're all touched by Sheogorath. In what universe is murdering almost a dozen people more acceptable than a little thievery and sleight of hand?"
"Spoken like someone who's never had anything to do with organised crime. Seriously, where did Caius even find you? A Jarl's palace?"
"A palace? For your information, I-"
Thankfully, my brain engaged before I could finish that highly indignant and extremely reckless sentence. I could indeed tell Antabolis that this was not in any way, shape or form how organised crime had worked in Skyrim even before the guild war, and tell him from what was almost certainly a place of more authority and experience than he'd ever earned. However, letting my connections to the Thieves' Guild be known still qualified as a Very Bad Idea. Jobasha had been bad enough.
"...never mind."
I'd just have to let Antabolis draw his erronous conclusions even as I made my own, far more accurate, deductions: apparently Allidiot hadn't been an aberration, because from the sounds of it the whole underworld here didn't know how to behave. Retiring had been for the best for more reasons than one, and I had to silently thank Elone for driving me to it.
"Right. Jarl's palace it is," Antabolis said when it was clear I wasn't responding. "Well, young miss Jarl-in-waiting, you can tell Caius that not only won't he get his notes, he'll have to do some grovelling to make this disaster up to me. And take that with you."
I stared down at the puzzle cube. "What am I supposed to do with that? I don't want it, you were the one who-"
"What are you- what do you expect me to do with it, now that you've made it worth my life to possess?" Antabolis cried. "Get out!"
Well, then.
Once outside, I leaned against a nearby wall and let myself think.
That could have really gone better.
Personally, I blamed Antabolis – if he'd given me a little more information when he'd sent me off, none of this would have happened. I was, however, a little doubtful that Cosades would see it the same way. Especially since all I had for him was a perfectly useless Dwemer artifact that probably now qualified as the hottest good on Vvardenfell, probably not an acceptable substitute for the notes he'd been after. And this after he'd asked me to be careful...
Wait a moment.
What had Cosades said when he'd sent me to Antabolis?
I would be very, very grateful if you managed to do this without running afoul of any Hlaalu Councilors, high-ranking members of the Imperial Legion, or organised crime syndicates.
...oops.
"He's going to kill me," I told the wall.
Cosades did not, in fact, kill me, although he certainly gave it a good try via verbal flaying. By the time I left, I felt about as tall as a gnat. Thankfully, Cosades also didn't give me any further tasks to do. Most likely seeing what had become of the first one had cast serious doubt on my ability as any sort of spy. I certainly wasn't going to protest otherwise.
With no further instructions from Cosades and no sign of Ranis Athrys – Masalinie mentioned at breakfast one morning that she was on the mainland for some sort of conclave – I was more or less left to my own devices. I split those pretty evenly between helping Ajira in the alchemy lab and taking Masalinie up on her suggestion to work on Mysticism together.
Honestly, if it had been completely up to my preference, that ratio would have been a lot more imbalanced. However, at some point hiding behind those crates in the Dwemer ruin, I'd realised that I had to understand my abilities – and lack thereof – at Mysticism better than I did. If I'd had a better understanding of how my teleportation skills worked and what the risks were, I might have been able to teleport out after all, the cube would have mysteriously disappeared with no apparent Telvanni involvement, Antabolis would have been happy, Cosades would have been happy and I wouldn't be in more-or-less-unwilling possession of a highly sought-after Dwemer artifact right now.
Truth be told, it would probably have been safer to get rid of the thing, but after the amount of suffering I'd went through for it I simply couldn't bring myself to. It might come in handy one day, I told myself. Maybe I'd be able to sell it to a collector on the mainland, or Cyrodiil, or in the Summerset Isles – somewhere well beyond the reach of Crito, Hard-Heart and Velanda Omani, where nobody even knew what a Telvanni was. For now, however furious the three of them were, I had to doubt they'd be searching beneath my bed anytime soon.
And so a day passed, then two, then three. No doubt some people would have been bored. I, however, like to consider myself firmly attached to this thing known as sense, and so deeply appreciated the peace, quiet and lack of life-threatening situations.
Between manning the alchemy desk and restocking her shelves, Ajira and I managed to fit in a highly enjoyable bout of experimentation on various plants native to the Ashlands such as trama root, fire fern and scathecraw. Ajira even found the time to write up our findings. I still had to nudge her towards a properly dry academic style on occasion, but overall I thought it was a fine piece of work which should certainly help her towards Journeyman status.
Even more importantly, the willpower-restoring effect we'd found on scathecraw made me suspect I might have had it before in Dulnea's tea. However, when I tried boiling a piece the acridity of the resulting liquid took my breath away. In fact, I suspected I could count myself lucky it hadn't taken my tongue away. Further investigation was definitely needed.
In the meantime, working with Masalinie progressed surprisingly well. True, we soon confirmed that my struggle learning Mysticism spells was only surpassed by my complete inability to teach them, but Masalinie turned out to be surprisingly patient about it all. She even claimed that my failed explanation of how exactly I cast a detection spell had given her a potential basis for a research paper. I suspected she was lying to make both of us feel better, but I still appreciated the thought.
The guild guide spells came as the real surprise. I managed them part of the way through the second day, and immediately braced myself for disaster. Needlessly, it turned out. All my attempts at both sending and receiving my test subject (a rock I'd found outside that struck me as having an adventurous, risk-loving air) went flawlessly.
I'd have blamed it on random chance, but the truth was that the guild guide spells felt different. And if what Masalinie and I had theorised between ourselves was correct, that feeling was accurate.
The other teleportation spell involved locating and connecting yourself to a Mystic beacon, and after a long and lively discussion we'd decided that that must be where it went wrong. "For us," Masalinie had said, "we have no way of perceiving the beacons themselves, and no control over which beacon the spell latches onto. We just cast, and the closest one is chosen automatically. From your descriptions, it sounds like you do. Which is fascinating!" Apparently catching sight of my face at that statement, Masalinie hastily added, "But of course I can see how it could cause difficulties..."
If Masalinie's theory was correct, then the guild guide spells were probably the closest I came to how teleportation spells worked for everyone else. I wasn't groping around trying to latch onto the closest beacon, or even trying to work out which one I wanted in the first place. All I had to connect to was the guild guide platform, which was impossible to miss due to being right there in front of me. Then, the spells on the platform handled the rest for me. There was a bit of timing involved in linking up with the guild guide on the other end, who'd be reaching out at the same time, but if you missed that the connection just failed. No being yanked around, no ending up somewhere completely different from – or well above – where you'd wanted to go. It was something of a revelation.
On the afternoon of the third day, I was almost feeling vaguely competent. This feeling was helped along by Masalinie exclaiming about how well I was doing, never to mention Estirdalin's stopping by to watch for a bit. The clear skepticism on her face had slowly morphed into interest, and she'd given me a grudging nod before leaving. I figured this qualified as some sort of approval.
"All right, now let's try sending to Sadrith Mora. Iniel is to the far east, you need to-"
There was a faint tugging at my mind coming through the guild guide platform. Masalinie stopped, eyes unfocused. I heaved a mental sigh. This interruption was a very common one.
"Is that from..." The call was definitely from the south, but further than Vivec and without Cassia's feel to it... "the mainland? Er, Mournhold, I think you said?"
"Yes, actually. It's from Effe-Tei." Masalinie sounded vaguely surprised. "You're good at that. Do you..." Masalinie looked at my face and clearly thought better of what she'd been about to suggest. "Er, if you step back I'll just take this passenger through and you can try sending to Iniel once I'm done."
I relaxed my scowl as I cut my magical connection to the platform, leaving Masalinie to handle whoever was coming through. A few days of working together had made it clear that Masalinie shared the common research mage's weakness of an utter disregard for health and safety. I was willing to bet she'd been about to suggest I try receiving the passenger.
A burst of light, coalescing into a figure on the platform-
"Thank you, Apprentice Masalinie," Ranis Athrys said as she stepped down. "A neat bit of spellwork, as usual." Then she saw me.
"Um. Hello, guildmistress," I offered weakly as her eyes narrowed. "It's... nice to... see you?"
"Is it. An odd sentiment indeed, considering that you were certainly nowhere to be found when I was looking to assign you duties."
I gulped.
"I'm really sorry about that. I got... caught up in things. In Vivec. Couldn't be helped." I could feel myself wilt under Ranis Athrys' stare. "Um, you can assign me duties now? I've been assisting Ajira... and Masalinie..." My voice died.
"Have you now." After a painfully long moment, the guildmistress finally stopped staring me down. "Interesting. Perhaps there is something suitable. I'll have to speak to Estirdalin about the matter, of course."
Then she was sweeping out through the common room as I collapsed against a wall.
"Wow, she really has it in for you." Masalinie frowned. "She's usually reasonable about these things – she must think you were skiving. Maybe there's someone who can confirm you were really unable to make it back to the guild?"
"Oh, there is." I suspected Dileno Lloran or Athyn Sarethi's testimonies would make quite an impression, for one. "But any such person might give her a little too... much information, if you know what I mean. I think it's better she doesn't know the details of why I was in Vivec. For her own peace of mind and for the sake of guild harmony, you see."
"Of course." Masalinie's voice was very dry. "In that case... grovel, make clear you're willing to do whatever she says, and wait for it to blow over. In the meantime, why don't you try connecting to Iniel?"
I sighed. I hoped showing I was willing to help Masalinie with her research would net me some points.
"Sure. To the east, you said?"
The connection to Sadrith Mora was a lot more finicky than to any of the cities in western Vvardenfell, and it took me five tries until I managed to send my trusty rock off to Iniel. I wondered what the issue was. Distance? But Masalinie said connecting to the mainland cities wasn't nearly as difficult, and they were even further away. Some sort of magical interference?
"Something like that," Masalinie said when I asked. "The connection passes through the heart of the island – Molag Amur, the Ashlands, and Red Mountain. Loads of volcanic activity, old Dwemer fortresses, Daedric ruins, and then the Ghostfence on top of all that. Connecting to Almalexia is harmless in comparison."
"Huh."
"Really, those things alone are more than enough to explain the difficulty. There's no need to go around saying there's some strange evil creature lurking beneath Red Mountain-"
"...um."
"-no matter what Marayn says, especially considering he's not even trained in Mysticism so how would he even know-"
"...Masalinie," I cut across her rant. "Do you want to keep working on this, or would you rather argue with someone who isn't present? Because I could be helping Ajira right now, you know."
Masalinie blinked. "Right. Sorry, Adryn. I shouldn't let out my frustrations on you – especially considering you're not Temple adherent either."
I bit my tongue. For all Masalinie's assumptions and for all my skepticism of religion, that statue had left quite an impression and I was inclined to believe the Temple was battling something unpleasant. The Julianos-worshipping Masalinie had a real chip on her shoulder about the subject, and her insistence it was all pretense and I'd simply run across an ordinary cursed item (more forceful now that it wasn't around anymore, I couldn't help but note) grated. Still, it was an argument I'd rather not have, not when I could change the subject to get us back on track instead.
I wondered if this was what maturity felt like.
"Anyway, we were working on sending larger distances. Try Effe-Tei now-"
True to Masalinie's words, although the distance to Mournhold was greater than that to Sadrith Mora, making the connection was a lot easier. The only difficult bit was that you had to sort of leapfrog over Vivec on the way, but it was a far cry from the finicky, threading-a-needle-with-gloves-on feel of managing the connection across Red Mountain. Whatever the reason.
My rock had made the trip to Mournhold twice without ending up at lethal-to-squishy-people heights and was sitting patiently on the pedestal awaiting a third time when I looked up and saw Ranis Athrys standing in the doorway. My spell fizzled and died.
"...guildmistress! What can we do for you?" I stepped back from the guild guide pedestal, feeling a little off-kilter. The woman was not the sort of person who stood and waited for her underlings to notice her, making the fact that she hadn't interrupted us rather out-of-character.
"Ah, Adryn." The woman gave me a close-mouthed smile, and I really wished I could believe that it was the unfamiliarity of the expression that made it look so unpleasant. "I would like a word with you about your duties."
I gulped.
That evening found a hasty council-of-war taking place in the alchemy lab. The attendees were one Balmoran apprentice alchemist, one Balmoran apprentice guild-guide, and one unattached, as-yet unassigned Apprentice who was watching the truly unexpected progress of her career in the guild with some amount of horror.
"Somebody," I hissed. "Explain."
Ajira and Masalinie looked at each other.
"Because," I went on when neither spoke, "I would be so very grateful for someone to tell me why, exactly, our guildmistress seems to think assigning someone who misfires teleportation spells to be a guild guide deserves actual consideration, or in fact anything other than hysterical laughter. At the moment my only theory is that Ranis Athrys has lost her mind, and although that explanation serves as a nice catch-all for inexplicable events it... lacks a certain something. I would quite like a better one, and you two know the guild better than me. So."
I leaned back and crossed my arms, letting the silence lengthen. I wasn't usually the patient sort, but with Ranis Athrys' I believe you may be suited as a guild guide still echoing in my ears I was well prepared to outwait my guildmates.
Masalinie broke first. "I'm sorry, Adryn, I have no idea either. I swear I wasn't expecting this to happen! But... you know, the idea might not be as absurd as you think?" She ducked her head, apparently unwilling to meet my glare. "I mean... you haven't had any problems yet at all, and we did discuss this- if my theories are correct-"
Her speech was starting to come faster, a light growing in her eyes which I suspected was due to either pure academic interest or the prospect of a research finding that might be enough to make Journeyman. Ordinarily I'd indulge her, but there were more important things at stake.
"Very helpful, thank you," I cut her off. "Ajira, do you have any ideas?"
Ajira straightened from where she'd been stirring kresh fiber. "Some. Although first... done is done, the kitten has the yarn, but nevertheless Ajira feels she must inform her friends that they have been quite foolish."
"Oh?" I asked with a sinking feeling. I did not like Ajira's expression.
"Perhaps this is Ajira's fault. She has been spending much time in the lab, brewing remedies for fevers and coughs now that the weather is growing colder, stewing the last of the fresh kresh leaves and roobrush of year... much time in the lab, not much time in the guild proper, and so Ajira did not realise how much, how openly her friends had been working on the guild guide spells. Friend Adryn is new to the guild, of course, so it is quite understandable she did not realise it was a bad idea. But she is surprised Masalinie does not have a better grasp on guild politics."
"Hey," Masalinie protested.
Ajira ignored her. "The thing Ajira's friends must understand is that the guild guide system is a very, very important part of the Mages' Guild in Morrowind. More than bringing in money, it makes the guild... acceptable, in the eyes of native Dunmer. Outlanders and outlander ideas are not very welcome here, and other foreign guilds have had serious difficulties in this land. The Fighter's Guild was taken over by the Camonna Tong, the Imperial Cult is generally ignored, and the- certain other guilds have still not managed to find their footing."
My curiosity sparked at the bitten-off sentence. Which guild had Ajira been about to mention?
Before I could ask, she went on.
"But the Mages' Guild is different, yes? It is the most successful of the foreign guilds by far, and that is because of the guild guide system. Even a member of the Camonna Tong will find their feet bringing them through the doors of the guild when they weigh taking a silt strider against instantaneous transport."
Ajira paused to take a sip from a flask on her desk. Masalinie and I stayed silent, letting her continue her very informative monologue.
"So- every branch of the guild must have a guild guide in place. However, the job is much disliked and requires some degree of spellcasting ability, so it is hard to find suitable candidates. Apprentices in Mysticism, mainly, but this is a balancing act. After all, they do not want to stay apprentices, and if they are kept at that level for too long, they may do something drastic."
Masalinie nodded. "I can confirm that. Believe me, the idea gets more tempting every day."
Ajira shot her a look. "From what Ajira hears, Darveli Arano in Narsis is far closer to such behaviour. She hears Darveli has threatened to walk out of the guild entirely if she is not relieved of her duties within a month. There are no other suitable apprentices in Mysticism at this time, and there are great repercussions on the standing of the guild as a whole if a city so important as Narsis is without a guild guide for so much as a day. And..."
"...and there I was, practicing guild guide spells right in front of Ranis Athrys." I dropped my head in my hands with a groan. "Masalinie, with all due respect, I hate you a little right now."
"I'm sorry!" At least the girl looked genuinely apologetic. "I didn't realise that Darveli was that close to snapping. I mean, she's been grousing about the job forever, but we all do that. And I figured that even if you managed the spells, Estirdalin would shut down anyone who wanted to make something out of it. She's a real stickler for safety and highly respected, Ranis usually listens to her." She wilted. "I didn't realise about the... political implications."
Despite myself, I began to thaw towards Masalinie. That had the ring of truth, and certainly this turn of events had caught me by surprise.
"All right," I said. "Thanks, Ajira. I can see how this happened a lot better now, even though I still think our esteemed guild-mistress should consider that it would be a lot worse for the standing of the guild if some of its customers' journeys found a permanent end through involuntary and unsuccessful flying lessons. But since she's being short-sighted about this..."
I paused, thinking.
"I really don't want to be a guild guide. Even if you decide to leave the risk of manslaughter aside, with all due respect, it sounds like an awful job."
Apart from the issue of being unable to use the transportation system oneself that Masalinie had complained about – and I was not prepared to be effectively trapped in Narsis, wherever that was – there were the working hours. As far as I could tell, they amounted to 'always'.
"So," I decided to state the obvious conclusion. "We need to convince Ranis Athrys to let up. She sounded like she was still weighing the idea – I'd like to tilt those scales a little. Maybe..." I began fidgeting with the roll of sealing wax on Ajira's desk as I thought. "Would it help if Masalinie played up my inabilities in the report she's writing? Focuses on the hash I make of Intervention spells, neglects to mention that guild guide spells might not be affected in the same way?" I hated the idea, but I was sure I'd hate being a guild guide more. Besides, my pride was easy, low-hanging fruit as far as things to sacrifice went.
Masalinie opened her mouth, looking rather annoyed, but Ajira got there first.
"Unfortunately, Ajira believes this plan does not get at the heart of the problem."
"Oh?"
"As an Associate, friend Adryn might simply have been sent on errands such as collecting flowers or mushrooms. Apprentice duties must be different – it must be related to magic, there must be a component of training and learning, a track towards making Journeyman eventually. The guildmistress mainly deals with Associates, not Apprentices, and does not have any suitable work for that rank."
That... made sense. From what I'd experienced of Ranis Athrys' recruitment tactics, they were very unlikely to result in keen, intelligent, scholarly-minded mages like yours truly.
"For some reason that is beyond Ajira, the guildmistress does not wish her to have an assistant. Even more puzzling that she wishes for Galbedir to have one, even though Ajira has far more work, work that is far more difficult than Galbedir's... but no matter, because that did not work out either. So now it is guild guide duties. If those do not work out, then..."
"...you're saying she'll find something else completely unsuitable for me to do. Not because she doesn't realise it's not a match for my skills, but because she has to give me something to do."
Ajira dipped her head. "Precisely."
I leaned back until my head rested against the stone wall behind me. "I'd like it to be known that after her last two ideas, I am officially terrified of what Ranis Athrys might come up with." I allowed myself to indulge in self-pity for a moment – seriously, why me? - then forced myself to focus on the practical side of things. "How do I prevent it?"
"You attach yourself to a different guild hall."
I looked at Masalinie in surprise. Call me bitter, but I'd stopped thinking she was going to make any useful contribution. She flushed under my stare.
"Exactly what Ajira was going to suggest. Friend Adryn is staying at the Balmora guild-hall, is spending most of her time there, is helping Ajira and Masalinie with their work... so her duties are set by the Balmoran guild-mistress. However, it is a common thing for Apprentices to switch halls if there is no suitable work for them. Ajira herself originally joined the guild in Ald'ruhn, but went to Balmora to become an alchemist. If Adryn travels to another hall, is assigned duties from their master or mistress, Ranis Athrys will have no claim." Ajira frowned. "It is surprising that she has not suggested this herself, especially when her latest idea encroaches on another's hall."
"You know Ranis. She's always had a stick up her-"
"-maybe don't finish that sentence in this building?" I interrupted Masalinie. I had a lot of experience with downright suicidal tactlessness from the inside – I could recognise it in someone else.
"Spoilsport," Masalinie grumbled. Then she twitched.
"Passenger coming through?"
"A whole group." Masalinie's mouth twisted into a grimace as she slid off the stool where she'd perched.
At the entrance to the lab, she hesitated, then turned back to look at me. "Adryn – I am sorry. And I promise I won't mention guild guide spells in anything I write, at least for now."
Well, well. It looked like her heart was in the right place after all. A pity about her brain.
Judging by Ajira's expression, she was feeling much the same. "Foolishness." She shook her head. "Ajira will never understand how so many people are so willing to simply blunder through life, expecting things to work out, without understanding the forces at play. Almost all her fellow Apprentices, many Journeymen... it is foolishness, she thinks, especially when it results in a mess like today's."
"Thank you. I appreciate the run-down, and the advice, from someone who clearly pays attention." I paused. "I have to say, you're very well-versed in the politics."
Ajira smiled, lips pulling back from sharp, sharp teeth. I was reminded of the theory that the concept of smiling was not native to Khajiit and had instead been picked up through long exposure to men and mer. Originally, the saying went, a Khajiit baring their teeth had been an expression of threat.
"Masalinie is the daughter of two merchants from Wayrest. Ajira is the granddaughter, the sister of slaves. Masalinie feels she is safe, not knowing certain things, trusting the world will be good to her. Ajira... does not. And so she learns. Friend Adryn understands?"
"Friend Adryn understands," I echoed. "Especially as the daughter of no one at all." It wasn't the first time I'd run into Masalinie's attitude, but it still wasn't one I could comprehend. I'd never really believed the world to be a kind place – orphanhood will do that to you – but if I'd ever held any traces of such a notion, the Warp had disabused me of it most thoroughly.
To say nothing of certain events in Windhelm last year.
"So, o politically acute one, what are my options?" I asked, shaking my head to rid myself of the memories. "Staying on Vvardenfell if possible. The mainland is pretty far away."
More importantly, when we'd last spoken – if one could use such a term for an encounter that had mainly consisted of me being yelled at – Caius Cosades had told me he wanted me to stay on Vvardenfell for now. I chafed at being ordered about, but wasn't reckless enough to defy the man.
"Well..."
Chapter 16: Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Text
If I was to be honest, Ald'ruhn hadn't made a good impression on me so far. It started with the city being located in a blasted wasteland, compounded the matter through having been built by architects who'd clearly been high on skooma when it came to selecting suitable building materials, and then added insult to injury by being populated by Redorans. Between Varvur, Bolvyn Venim, and (last but certainly not least) Athyn Sarethi, I'd really had enough of the breed to last me a lifetime.
In one aspect, however, I did have to give Ald'ruhn credit over Balmora: its Mages' Guild was built on a significantly larger scale. Between a separate chamber for the guild guide – one which I had to doubt the Altmer in question was particularly happy about – the library I'd holed up in the last time I was here, a proper dining hall instead of chairs crammed into the kitchen, even what looked like private chambers which I optimistically hoped were available to Apprentices, it was clear that the guild had managed to acquire a larger space when they expanded here.
I liked it. Balmora could get a bit cramped, in my opinion.
The guildmistress' office was no exception. When I poked my nose in the door that had been pointed out to me when I asked about Edwinna Elbert's whereabouts, I saw a room several times the size of the little cubbyhole Ranis Athrys presided over in Balmora. The space was taken up with a sturdy oak desk, bookshelves on every wall, and a workbench to the side covered in an assortment of Dwemer items in varying states of disassembly. The woman herself was seated behind the desk, scribbling industriously. She looked up when I entered.
"Adryn, wasn't it? The apprentice who brought me Chronicles of Nchuleft?"
The book in question was lying open beside her, glimmering with preservation magic. Judging by the thick sheaf of notes also on the desk, Edwinna Elbert had apparently taken the time to get acquainted with it since my delivery.
"Yes, that's me. Although I'm afraid I don't have any rare books or Dwemer items with me today, guildmistress," I said with some regret.
Edwinna Elbert had emerged as the clear favourite when it came to Vvardenfell guild heads to try to work with. Trebonius was obviously right out, Skink-in-Trees'-Shade in Sadrith Mora was apparently not accepting new Apprentices due to 'the delicate political situation', and Folms Mirel in Caldera was not only rumoured to be difficult to work with but also specialised in Mysticism and enchanting – a bad match for me, to put it mildly. Given the lack of other contenders, making the Ald'ruhn guildmistress approve of me was quite important and I'd seriously considered gifting her the Dwemer cube from Arkngthand as a bribe. Alas, I'd decided that although she might be grateful for a Dwemer artifact, she was unlikely to thank me for getting her tangled up in the mess of complications involving looters, criminal organisations, corrupt members of the Imperial Legion, Hlaalu and Telvanni the cube carried with it.
The woman laughed, a clear, ringing sound. "Don't worry about it! I don't expect people to come bearing gifts. What can I do for you?" Her lips quirked in a smile. "You can call me Edwinna, by the way. I don't stand on ceremony."
Hesitantly, I felt an answering smile tug at my mouth. The friendliness was a distinct contrast to Ranis Athrys'... everything... and I knew which one I preferred. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
"Ah... you know I'm nominally attached to the Balmora guild? It... hasn't been working out. I was hoping you'd be willing to take me on as an apprentice. Um..."
I'd had a speech all worked out. It had been a good speech, covering all the angles of why I, Adryn, was an excellent aspiring scholar and mage in the making whom any guild-mistress should be delighted to mentor. I'd stayed up late fine-tuning it. Unfortunately, right now I couldn't remember a word of the thing.
I was about to start improvising when Edwinna held up a hand. It was probably for the best, since that usually ended badly.
"Well, I can't say it's a surprise. For all her efforts at recruitment, Ranis Athrys never quite knows what to do with apprentices." For a moment, the woman seemed lost in thought, eyes gazing into the distance. Then she blinked as though coming back to herself and fixed me with a look. "Now, why don't you have a seat."
"Excuse me?"
"Don't worry, I don't bite." Edwinna flashed me another smile, although she still seemed more serious than before. "It's just that this could take a while, so you might as well be comfortable for it."
Let no one say I'm not amenable to logic... or creature comforts, for that matter. I needed no further prompting to sit down in the carved wooden chair in front of the desk.
"All right, then." Carefully, the woman shifted Chronicles of Nchuleft to one side and pulled a blank piece of parchment. "If I remember correctly, you're an alchemist by trade. I'm afraid there's no opening for one here – Anarenen handles all our needs, and he's refused any and all apprentices I've thrown at him so far. The only real position I can offer is one in Dwemer scholarship. Is that something you'd be interested in?"
I'd been expecting it – and Ajira had warned me – but my heart still fell at the confirmation that alchemy was out.
"It's all right. I know there's no alchemist positions available, so I figured I might branch out a little. I've been reading about the Dwemer after Archmage Trebonius asked me to look into them, and I've found it interesting."
Edwinna groaned, rubbing her forehead. "I'd ask what our most esteemed leader asked you to do, but I'm certain I don't want to know."
Probably a wise decision, that. I as a complete layperson had reacted badly enough to his suggestion that the mystery of the Dwemer should be easily to solve – Nine only knew how someone who was dedicating their life to the subject would react.
"So, tell me. Which books have you been reading?"
The interview took quite a while, but as it was significantly more relaxed than any other I'd been subjected to on this island I didn't mind. Although we briefly touched on my abilities in the various magical schools (I found myself pathetically grateful when Edwinna opted not to dwell on the subject of Mysticism), the bulk of our talk concerned the Dwemer. Edwinna was just as unimpressed by Nordssen's writing as me, but grudgingly agreed when I claimed there were useful tidbits of information buried in Ruins of Kemel-Ze alongside the dross. In contrast, Antecedents of Dwemer Law met her approval as a serious scholarly work, even if she thought the author overstated the level of Aldmer influence on Dwemer society.
Edwinna also professed herself deeply jealous when she heard I'd lived in Markarth.
"The only inhabited Dwemer city in all of Tamriel! I've always wanted to see it, but it's such a long way and it's so hard to find the time..."
"It's not that impressive, really. Anything that wasn't welded in place is long gone – I've seen more Dwemer artifacts in your office than in my entire time living there."
"But the insights that can be gained from the layout alone!" Edwinna sighed, starry-eyed. "You'll have to tell me about it sometime."
I shrugged, aiming for noncommital. I really didn't know what she wanted to hear – that, judging from the layout of the buildings, the Dwemer had eaten, slept, and used the privy the same as any man or mer four millennia later?
Besides, thinking about Markarth meant thinking about Charon, and that was something I strenuously avoided doing these days.
Finally, Edwinna set down her quill decisively.
"Well! Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, Adryn. I believe this will work out nicely – welcome to the Ald'ruhn guild."
She stretched out a hand. I shook it, knees weak with relief.
"Really? You mean it? Um, I mean- thanks!"
Edwinna kindly ignored my incoherence. (In my defense, at this point in my time on Vvardenfell I was not used to things going according to plan.) "It's a pity you aren't combat capable," she said instead, sounding thoughtful. "I could use someone to pick up some items from Arkngthunch-Sturdumz-"
And maybe this still qualified as things not going as planned. I withdrew my hand and took a small step backwards.
"-but I can find someone else for that," Edwinna made the shift smoothly. "More to the point, I could also use someone to cross-reference materials, sift through the items the expeditions bring in, skim the lower-ranking journals in case there's any worth among the dross, proof-read my work and other such more clerical tasks. From our conversation that sounds far more like your sort of expertise."
I nodded my emphatic agreement. Perhaps I could relax again?
"Sadly, I don't have anything for you to do right now, not until Senilias gets back from Nchuleftingth or the latest edition of Annals of the Dwemer gets here from Imperial City. I can give you some background books to read for now and let you get settled in, or..." Edwinna snapped her fingers. "I know!"
"Know what?"
"Something for you to do until real work arrives. I'd like you to go to Maar Gan and talk to Huleen for me." My expression must have been rather blank, because Edwinna took one look at me and clearly realised more explanation was necessary. "She's a member of the guild, brilliant researcher, fantastic work in the Illusion school, doing an excellent job with that apprentice of hers... but she does get a little, mm, carried away sometimes. Forgets little things, like the fact that she needs to eat or sleep, or that she is not the only person living in Maar Gan. And that some of the others might find certain side-effects disturbing."
"I think I see where this is going."
Edwinna sighed. "I talked to her after the incident with the area-effect low-level Calm spell and she did apologise for it. She knows to be considerate, she's just a little... forgetful sometimes."
A ball of ice had formed in the pit of my stomach at the words Calm spell. I ignored it with iron determination. "Sometimes. Like now?"
"I've had complaints, yes," Edwinna admitted, sounding as if each word was being dragged out of her. "Noises, that sort of thing. I'd like it if you could have a word with her. Remind her of the importance of good neighbourly relations, that sort of thing. I'd do it myself, but I can't take the time away from Ald'ruhn right now."
Well, that sounded easy enough. Except for the fact where I would be telling a powerful mage to stop doing something she wanted to do, and I wasn't... exactly... renowned for my tact.
"There's no chance of her taking this badly, is there?" I probed.
Edwinna blinked, looking taken aback. "Oh, goodness no. Huleen is one of the calmest people I know, I've never seen her lose her temper. And she used to work in the Vivec guild."
I heard the unspoken words: with Trebonius. If managing that without an explosion wasn't proof of a person's unruffled and easy-going nature, I didn't know what was.
"So? Will you do it?"
Now it was my turn to be surprised. Wonder of wonders, Edwinna was actually waiting for me to agree to her request, rather than assuming I would naturally fall in line. I didn't know who had last given me such consideration, except that it certainly hadn't been Ranis Athrys.
One of the basic tenets of training is to reward behaviour you'd like to see more of. Besides, how difficult could this be? "Sure. It sounds pretty manageable."
"Wonderful! I promise I'll have something more suitable arranged for you once you get back."
Some time later, I'd laid claim to a bed and chest in the Ald'ruhn communal dorms and finished moving my paltry stack of belongings. The communal dorms, too, were better-furnished than the ones in Balmora, and (more to the point) were located at the end of a corridor off the library instead of only closed curtains away from the central hall, meaning that it might be possible to sleep in without customers walking straight past your snoring form. An improvement, all in all, but I was still battling disappointment at the discovery that Apprentices were not allowed to use the private rooms. Perhaps after I finished Edwinna's task, I'd have the necessary distance to view the bright side.
Given Edwinna's statement that she didn't have the time to travel to Maar Gan, never to mention that I hadn't heard of a guild there, I suspected the teleportation network did not stretch that far. Still, hope springs eternal, which was how I found myself back in the tiny chamber upstairs that housed the guild guide platform... as well as a small end-table bravely supporting a precarious pile of books along with a half-eaten pastry and a mug, never to mention an Altmer who'd been looking increasingly bored every time I passed through.
"Not one of our destinations, I'm afraid." Erranil shrugged where she perched on a small stool that had been jammed into one corner. "This is as close as the network will take you. You can take the silt strider. Or walk."
I sighed. It was disturbing how quickly you got used to instantaneous transport – particularly when you got free use thanks to your guild membership.
Given what lived in the wilderness around here, the silt strider was not just the most appealing option, I'd also argue it was the sane one. Sadly for me, it was also the expensive one. I hadn't seen hide nor hair of any stipend from the guild and suspected it was reserved for people with assigned duties like Ajira and Masalinie. Worse, I was down twenty drakes for the ingredients I'd used back in Balmora to replenish my emergency potions kit. My purse now contained a sum total of one septim and twenty-eight drakes, and I was watching it dwindle with worry.
"Say, Tanar mentioned something earlier," the guild guide interrupted my thoughts. "She said that Masalinie was training you in guild guide magic. Is that true?"
I gulped. The tone was casual, but there was a hungry glitter in Erranil's eyes which I did not like at all.
"Well... yes," I was forced to admit. "But! It was just as an experiment, with inanimate objects. My teleportation spells can misfire, I have a condition, I really can't work as a guild guide unless you want your customers strewn over the landscape."
Worryingly, Erranil's expression didn't change. "Oh, I don't see the problem myself. It's an experimental form of transport, you know, a certain element of risk is to be expected, anyone who's put off by the possibility of dismemberment can take the strider. You should consider-"
"Really nice to have this chat but I do have to get going now have a nice day goodbye!"
Even as I (not to put too fine a word on it) fled, I could feel Erranil's eyes burning into my back.
I slowed down once I'd left the guild hall. The sun was shining down from a clear blue sky, the sort of weather that – after my last experience in Ald'ruhn – I felt deserved both appreciation and reinforcement. Something that would not be found by hurrying through it.
Besides, I still had to work out where I was going. Silt strider or city gates?
After a few moments of thought, I sighed, turned and began heading towards the strider station. Really, there was no choice here – it wasn't as if the money would do me any good in a kagouti's stomach.
In the long run, I definitely had to figure out a regular income. For now, I could just hope that Edwinna believed in rewarding apprentices for their errands.
The view from the strider made it clear I'd made the right choice, my lighter purse (one septim seventeen now) notwithstanding. The nix-hound pack we'd passed had not looked friendly, and I found myself glad I was dozens of feet above ground.
"They're getting desperate," my travelling companion noted.
The only other passenger was, or so he said, a priest of the Tribunal Temple on his way to Maar Gan. He was also the only Dunmer I'd met so far with anything resembling my hair colour, maybe a shade darker than mine but still a red that was coppery-orange rather than crimson. There was no other resemblance that I could make out, his skin much paler than my own and his round face, arched nose and flared ears decidedly unfamiliar, but it still left me more kindly disposed towards him than I might otherwise have been. I even found myself willing to ignore the fact that I was sure I'd caught a hint of contempt in his eyes when I'd introduced myself as a member of the Mages' Guild – after all, he was being polite enough now.
"Desperate?"
"Less and less prey about these days. And with the Blight spreading, what there is often isn't safe for them to eat. In these lean times, anyone travelling had better know how to protect themselves."
"Or take the strider," our caravaneer threw in from where he was directing the beast. "I've never seen anything out here that will attack a full-grown silt strider, and our prices are very reasonable."
Eleven drakes was daylight robbery, in my opinion. Especially when I could swear that I'd only seen seven pass hands when the priest had boarded. I had a suspicion I'd paid the Tamrielic-speakers special rate and I didn't like it at all.
"-if you do find yourself on foot, I recommend the Conjuration school, for what it's worth," the priest was saying. "Far more versatile than simply tossing a fireball at someone, combines very well with combat training – haven't you ever wanted to pull a sword out of thin air? - and it's truly excellent for distraction. Summon a clannfear and the beasts won't even notice you leave."
I was pretty sure I wasn't imagining the hint of condescension in his voice, the experienced sorcerer talking down to the Mages' Guild know-nothing. Even though what I knew about combat magic wouldn't fill a page, it still grated.
"Thanks for the tips, I'm sure." Be diplomatic, Adryn. And – since you're really bad at being diplomatic – change the subject before you put your foot in it. "Say, I think we skipped introductions earlier. I'm Adryn." Given our somewhat bumpy method of travel, I opted to forgo any handshakes in favour of nodding in the priest's direction.
Something flickered in his eyes.
There was a hissing sound from the front of the strider. "Outlanders," the caravaneer said in the tone of someone who wished he'd charged me twenty drakes for the trip. "It's as if you'd never heard of manners. Introducing yourself with your call-name only, denying your clan, your ancestors-"
I should not push the man off the strider. He was the only one who knew how to steer it, so that would just end in us all being eaten in the wilderness – possibly by my companion So-Very-Good-At-Conjuration's summoned clannfear.
I could, however, respond in kind.
"Native Dunmer. It's as if you'd never even heard of not jumping to conclusions. So insistent that the world must work the way you think it should that you never bother to consider that foundlings exist, and some of us can't introduce ourselves by our clan-name because we have no clue what it is."
If I was any judge, the man should wish that he wasn't on the back of a giant, stilt-legged beast and far too far away from the ground for it to swallow him right about-
A groan came from the front of the strider.
-now.
I smiled.
"A pleasure to meet you, muthsera Adryn," the priest interrupted with a slight dip of his head. The condescension was gone from his voice – I decided it was due to him being impressed by my excellent verbal sparring skills. "I am Methal Seran, of the Tribunal Temple in Ald'ruhn."
My interaction with the Temple in Vivec made me wonder about his rank. Was he a novice, like the one I'd met during the cleansing? Something higher? A respected leader like a Disciple? I couldn't judge based on the very plain robes – the rules were different when it came to religion. Still, he didn't look all that old to me (the equivalent of mid-twenties, maybe?), and even with the patronising attitude taken into account he seemed far too friendly for a higher-up.
"I'd be honoured if you would call me Methal," he said, adding another point in favour of him being closer to a novice in status than a Disciple; in my experience, someone who's earned a title likes for you to use it. "And what brings you to Maar Gan?"
"Mages' Guild business." I thought about it for a moment and decided not to elaborate. Disciplinary matters between members really shouldn't be aired about. At least, we'd certainly have kept this sort of talking-to quiet back in Windhelm.
A wrinkle grew between his brows. "I see. If you-"
"Destination in sight!" the caravaneer hollered.
"Oh?" I slid along the low bench until I was near the front of the beast.
There was one thing I had to be thankful for when it came to my experiences on this island – somehow, miraculously, I'd escaped my midair adventures with Varvur without developing a crippling fear of heights. This meant that silt strider journeys were still quite manageable, and that I could now lean forward and observe the city of Maar Gan from an angle only cliff racers usually got to enjoy without being disturbed by flashbacks.
Maar Gan was nestled against a steep hill. It had been built, if that was the right word, in the same style as Ald'ruhn – if on a smaller scale. There was no giant emperor crabshell like Skar, and the largest shell-house I saw was maybe the size of the one housing the Ald'ruhn Mages' Guild. There were far fewer of them, as well. A town rather than a city, Karthwasten to Ald'ruhn's Windhelm.
"The view's the best part of this job," the caravaneer commented as his fingers danced over the exposed organs on the strider's head, manipulating them to guide the beast towards the city. (This was truly the weirdest form of transport I'd ever encountered). Then, after a pause, "...sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."
He sounded genuinely apologetic, and I could feel myself soften despite myself. "Forgiven and forgotten. Just maybe stop and think a little next time someone introduces themselves with a call-name only?"
"No danger of that, trust me." The man's mutter was fervent.
Once on the ground in Maar Gan, I waved farewell to other two Dunmer and began my investigations.
After a short time, I had the sinking feeling I'd have difficulty finding my destination. The locals' eyes followed me with suspicion, suspicion that bled into hostility when I greeted them. I was inclined to guess that the reason was, again, my use of Tamrielic. Dunmeris was more wide-spread here than I'd seen anywhere else – I hadn't passed a single conversation I could understand yet – and although thanks to the Empire everyone seemed to be reasonably competent in Tamrielic, I suspected that the words they'd use for that fact wouldn't include 'thanks'.
If I was going to be staying in this region, it would really help to pick up some basic Dunmeris. I suspected knowing even a greeting in the language would help thaw some of the stony faces meeting me. One more for my list of things to look into.
At least the woman I was speaking with now hadn't clammed up entirely, even if her expression made me think she had considered it. "What do you want, outlander?"
"Excuse me, I'm from the Mages' Guild, here to investigate reports of disturbances coming from the residence of a guild member – Huleen? Could you tell me where-"
"About time!" the woman snapped. "It's been terrible, absolutely terrible – screeches and howls coming from that hut all hours of the day, to say nothing of the crashes and banging."
I paused as the sinking feeling in my stomach demanded my full attention. Screeches and howls? From what Edwinna had said, I'd been expecting... oh... bangs, odd smoke, maybe some minor damage to the surrounding area or the errant spell effect such as accidental widespread invisibility – the usual signs of a guild member getting carried away, who one could carefully interrupt in order to point out they were scaring the locals. But the sort of noise the woman was describing pointed towards a completely different problem altogether, and one I was – frankly – not equipped to handle.
"It sounds like there's a rampaging Daedra in there!"
I swallowed. My throat had gone very dry.
"Yes, I can see how that would be disturbing," I said carefully. Especially if that's actually true. "If you don't mind me asking – it's definitely noises from some sort of living creature, you'd say? Not, say, explosions of any sort? Spell misfires? A Sound spell gone terribly wrong?"
The woman glared at me. "When I say screeches and howling, I mean screeches and howling. Not explosions. Explosions wouldn't be a problem, we got used to them!" She frowned in thought. "Although there haven't been any since the howling started, come to think of it."
Well, scamp drek.
"Thank you for the information, that's very helpful to know." I licked my lips. "I'll... look into it. Could you tell me where Huleen's residence is?"
Huleen's residence turned out to be in the natural location for a mage's home: outside the city, where as few people as possible would be inconvienced by experiments gone wrong – no matter what 'going wrong' involved. The little crab-shell house wasn't far from the southern wall, near the guard tower.
I stopped a safe distance away, eyeing the building suspiciously. I couldn't hear any noises right now, but the problem neatly resolving itself just as I got here would be the sort of luck I, in my experience, simply did not have.
Although maybe that had changed? After all, with the amount of bad luck I'd been faced with lately, I thought I was more than due its opposite.
In any case, I needed to do something. I doubted Edwinna would be particularly impressed if I came back and told her I'd been too afraid to open the front door. Edwinna not being impressed meant bidding farewell to any possibility of becoming an Ald'ruhn apprentice, which meant being subjected to Ranis Athrys' ideas for a suitable task. I could feel the prospect of Adryn, guild guide (and, looming just behind it, that of getting drummed out of the guild for accidentally killing customers) breathing down my neck. A little risk was nothing in comparison to that.
"Who knows? Maybe Huleen was testing sound-based illusion spells and there's nothing dangerous in there at all."
Trying to convince myself of that idea got me to the door, which I unlocked with the key Edwinna had given me and eased open.
I stared.
The place was wrecked.
Carpets had been turned into shreds. What had once been furniture lay in splinters. A chair had proven hardier, only one of its legs wrenched off – but, as if in revenge for its durability, the upholstered back had been torn into to the point where white stuffing coated the surroundings like snow. Shards of glass and ceramic were scattered all over the floor. Nine, even the stone wall bore claw-marks.
A faint whimpering noise came from the hallway ahead. I thought it was coming closer.
Very, very carefully, I closed and locked the door again.
Right. There was probably a Daedra loose in the building. What potions did I have that might be able to handle a Daedra? I hadn't exactly packed for combat... but maybe...
Stop.
In my few scant weeks on this island, I'd found myself in over more my head more times than I wanted to count. A lot of the time, the problem was that I just kept on going at a point where I should've stepped back. The disaster of Arkngthand was freshest in my memory. I'd let preliminary scouting turn into the actual theft, at which point my ignorance of the circumstances surrounding the object I was pursuing had not just nearly killed me but led to my drawing so much attention to the retrieval that the client had rejected it. If I'd just withdrawn to rethink and investigate instead of jumping in, I might have managed to avoid those problems.
There was a probable Daedra in the building, and I was in no way, shape or form equipped to handle one – potions notwithstanding. I didn't need a particularly clever plan. What I needed was backup.
How unfortunate for me that Edwinna hadn't thought I'd need to bring any.
Well, I definitely couldn't head back to get some. Heading back to Ald'ruhn, getting someone to come with me and travelling back here would take at least a day. I didn't think it was a good idea to allow whatever beast was loose inside Huleen's house that much time for mischief. The front door hadn't looked that sturdy.
No, if I was going to get help, it would have to be from someone here in Maar Gan.
Well. I did know one person in Maar Gan. He'd even claimed to be reasonably proficient in Conjuration.
Once inside, the Maar Gan Temple looked much like the one in Suran. There were the plain surroundings, the tapestries, the kneeling-cushions, the central pit ringed by candles (although strangely enough, this one had a giant rock sitting on top of it), the plate of offerings...
There was also a dremora.
"What," I said flatly, "is wrong with this town."
"Trust me, I've wondered that for a long time now," said the dremora, its voice deep and gravelly like an avalanche. I'd never heard one talk before. "Shall I assume you've come to hurl insults at me then, mortal? Or..." It peered at me, eyes narrowed. "Oh. It's you again."
Apparently dremora weren't particularly good at telling us mortals apart, because I was pretty sure I'd remember if we'd met before. Maybe it had spent so long watching people pass in and out of the temple that it was getting confused. Because apparently standing around in a Dunmer Temple looking rather bored was now a thing dremora did.
"Ah. Adryn, wasn't it?" My companion from the silt strider trip rose from where he'd been crouching near the giant rock. "What brings you to the Temple?"
"I'd answer that question except that honestly, I'm still stuck on the dremora."
"Oh, don't mind Anhaedra." Methal's voice was inappropriately cheerful, in my opinion. "He's harmless. I've just finished making sure of that, in fact."
"May the overseers of Coldharbour flay the flesh from your bones," the dremora droned. It sounded as if it were about to fall asleep from boredom.
"Right. Of course." I decided ignoring that statement was probably the best hope I had of preserving my sanity. "I've actually come about a Daedra. Not that Daedra, a different Daedra," and I didn't think I'd forgive Maar Gan anytime soon for having so many of the things I had to specify. "I was supposed to check on a guild member's house because there were reports of disturbances – screeching and howling. When I looked inside, the place had been torn apart."
"A rogue summoning?" Methal, I noticed, didn't sound cheerful anymore.
"It's my best guess. I need to investigate, but I'm,.. not... exactly very skilled at Conjuration magic." I squirmed. I hated this. "I was... hoping you... might be willing to help?"
Methal paused. I realised I hadn't offered a single thing in trade, and that appealing to people's good natures generally only has a low success rate.
I wasn't quite so far gone that I'd be willing to dig into my shrinking purse to offer a reward, thank you very much Athyn Sarethi. All the same, I was pretty sure I could sweeten this deal so it contained something Methal would appreciate.
Well, there was definitely one thing I'd learned about the man on our trip here.
"I'm sure people would be very interested to hear that the Mages' Guild needed help from the Temple to deal with their own affairs," I suggested. "Something I'd obviously be willing to confirm."
If Edwinna had wanted to keep our reputation intact, she shouldn't have sent an alchemist to investigate a summoning gone wrong. I mean, really.
A smile grew on Methal's face. "Ah, of course. I assure you, the Tribunal Temple is always happy to assist the Mages' Guild when they find their skills are not... adequate... for the task at hand." A pause. "Although honestly, this falls within my remit as a Master of Conjuration anyway."
A Master? Really? Either he was quite a bit older than he looked, or he was inflating his own skills.
Well, inflating his skills would still make him better at Conjuration than me, considering inflating implied that there was at least some sort of basis there. For me, claiming any ability in Conjuration at all would be inventing out of whole cloth. Methal's abilities, no matter how dubious, were going to be an improvement.
"I hope my cousin feasts on your intestines," the dremora told us as we left. Both of us ignored it.
"Well," Methal said as he stepped inside the hut. Something crunched under his feet. "I think we can discount a controlled summoning. Unless the summoner is truly disturbed." He paused in the doorway, a magelight sparking in his palm. "Coming?"
In all honesty, I'd been hoping the experienced mage would take pity on my hapless self and take over the matter entirely, braving the dangers on his own and leaving me to wait in the crisp, Daedra-free outside air. Alas, the experienced mage in question didn't appear to agree with this course of action, and since I was the one who'd asked him for help there wasn't much I could do to protest.
I gritted my teeth as I joined Methal in the devastated hallway. Broken pot-shards ground unpleasantly beneath my heel, and I found myself deeply grateful for my tough-soled boots.
The destruction didn't wane as we carefully made our way downstairs, me trying not to be too obvious about the way I was doing my best to hide behind Methal with each step. The main difference to the entranceway was the diversity of destroyed materials. Ceramic shards gave way to broken glass lying in a viscuous fluid which shimmered oddly in the low blue glow of the magelight. I stepped carefully and winced at the smell. I was pretty sure I was walking over the remains of Huleen's potions supply right now, and I really didn't know what some of those combinations were doing. What a pointless waste of good potions, too.
Although even the smashed vials didn't make me as sad as the scored, empty covers and feathery shreds that used to be books.
At the bottom of the stairs, we reached what must be the main chamber of the hut. There were doors to both our sides and ahead, all shut. There, Methal stopped. The flickering light in his hand cast strange, dancing shadows across his face, rendering his expression alien and unreadable.
"A minor Daedra, I'd say, by the signs," he murmured. "A scamp, would be my guess. Nothing particularly intelligent, and no great threat. Perhaps-"
I never got to hear his suggestion, and Methal never got to hear what I had to say about calling any Daedra 'no great threat', because that was the point where we heard the door in front of us rattle.
I decided discretion was the better part of valour and I'd rather have the mage who considered scamps harmless in between me and whatever was trying to escape from Huleen's cellar.
Although wait – if the Daedra was locked down here, how had it done so much damage in the rest of the building?
On the heels of that thought came a muffled cry from the room ahead. "Please help!" It did not sound particularly Daedric.
"Well," Methal said brightly, "I do believe we've found our summoner." He walked to the door, pulled the handle, and completely failed to open it.
"The scamp locked me in here!"
"Did it? That seems rather careless!" Methal called back.
"Believe me, I noticed."
"Excuse me? I think I should probably handle this one," I interrupted.
The whole thing went to show that lock-picking is a very versatile skill, coming in handy in all sorts of situations, and certainly not only of use to those of a criminal bent. At least, I certainly hoped that was the impression Methal was coming away with – I could feel his considering stare burning into my back as I bent over the lock, and the situation had me on edge enough that I really didn't feel like explaining away the misunderstandings (or, for that matter, the correct understandings) my skillset often produced.
Finally, the lock sprang open with a click. I straightened and rubbed the back of my neck, where I could feel tension that would lead to a headache later if I wasn't careful. It hadn't been a difficult lock, but (and here was a sentence I hadn't expected to ever think) the absence of Daedra was making me nervous.
It had to know we were here. Where was the thing?
Then the door swung open, sending a ray of bright light into the gloom of the hallway. I found myself distracted by the unexpected glare, then distracted by the stink that followed it out of the room. I wrinkled my nose at the odour; it was clear that whoever was in there, they'd been stuck without access to a privy for long enough to need one.
"Oh, thank you! Thank you! Mara bless you!"
As my eyes adjusted to the brighter light inside the room, more details became apparent. The speaker was a young Breton man, perhaps around my age, looking thin and ill. I cleverly deduced that he was quite unlikely to be Huleen, unless his parents had been truly radical when it came to naming conventions.
He was also completely naked. Apparently the Vvardenfell nudity plague wasn't limited to Nords.
"This island is going to drive me to drink," I muttered.
I decided that one of us should be keeping watch, and turned my back on the Breton currently displaying body parts I had no interest in studying closely in favour of staring back into the gloom we'd come from.
"I'm Listien, Huleen's apprentice," I heard the Breton say. "She's on the mainland for a meeting- I- I'm so sorry, the scamp tricked me- I just wanted to prove I could be a real sorcerer-"
"I take it you summoned the scamp, then?" I was amazed at how casual Methal sounded, as though we were relaxing in the Mages' Guild common area instead of inside a half-destroyed building containing not just a very guilty (and rank) apprentice but also a lurking Daedra which we still hadn't located.
At the reminder, I let my eyes rove over the darkness behind us.
Silence. Nothing moving. No scamp creeping up on us from behind.
Although I really couldn't see that far in this light. There was nothing saying it wasn't hiding in, say, that long shadow over there...
...suddenly, the fact that I'd never managed to get my Detection spell to pick up summoned beings no longer seemed so minor a flaw.
"-thank you so much, I swear I'll never summon another Daedra as long as I live- oof-" The thump of flesh hitting stone.
"Careful there, boy. You're weak from lack of sustenance, don't try to stand too quickly. Here, I can strengthen-"
Was that shadow moving?
"Methal," I hissed, "shouldn't we do something about the scamp before we start giving first aid?"
"This boy needs a healer's attention sooner rather than later, and the scamp will vanish as soon as I manage to disentangle the summoning spell from his core. If it finds us before, you can take care of it."
My jaw dropped at the outrageous suggestion. "Me?" I sputtered, unable to keep myself from twisting back around to glare at the man. "For your information, I-"
A scratching sound from behind me.
With a horrible sinking feeling, I realised I shouldn't have taken my eyes off the shadows.
By the time I'd gotten myself turned to face the oncoming threat, the scamp was halfway across the room and accelerating. Its eyes glowed eerily in the low light, there was a deranged smile on its imp-like face, and its claws looked very, very sharp.
"Methal!"
Even as I yelled, I knew I was out of time. Methal had been crouching next to the idiot who'd started this whole mess – even if he suddenly saw reason, there was no way he'd be able to do anything before the scamp reached and gutted me.
I didn't remember deciding to draw on the power. No, the conscious part of my brain was fully occupied with staring at my oncoming doom and cursing Methal, Huleen, her apprentice, Edwinna, and anyone and everyone else who'd been involved in me ending up in this situation. However, some subconscious part of my brain was not ready to roll over and give up without a fight. And that part remembered one ability I had that had gotten me out of life-threatening situations recently.
As the scamp neared, I stretched out a hand. Just before it reached me, green light blossomed.
"Do something!" I snapped, then found myself too occupied with trying to stay upright to talk.
With darkening vision, I saw Methal come up beside me. He frowned at me, then made a gesture with one hand.
Golden light sped out from him in a stream, curling around and then into the scamp's frozen figure. For a moment, it glowed as bright as the sun.
Then it disintegrated.
You couldn't have done that before? I wanted to ask, but I'd lost all control over my body. Eyelids included; they fell shut, and I fell with them into unconsciousness.
Slowly, my awareness began to surface from the depths. Sensation tugged at my mind – warmth surrounding me, save for the cool air on my face. My hair tickled my forehead, my weight pressed on my back...
I was lying down, and on something too soft to be the ground.
I blinked open my eyes and watched the ceiling swim into view. Guarhide, stretched on polished poles of chitin which met not far from my head. Dim light filtered through the smoke-hole. A yurt.
A familiar sight, taking me back to my childhood.
A rustling sound from next to me made me turn my head, an act that took far more effort than it should.
A young man in chitin armour was sitting cross-legged on the ground next to me, nose buried in a book. He'd shaved his head, leaving only dark stubble. His eyes were a clear, bright gold, unusual among the dark eyes more common to our people. The colour was reflected by the golden rings and cuffs all along the curve of both ears, more than the last time I'd seen him. My young friend was turning into a real cliff-racer as far as shiny things were concerned. Privately, I blamed his deprived childhood, although I certainly wasn't going to say such a thing out loud.
"Vivec," I croaked.
Vivec let the book fall to the ground as his eyes snapped to me. For a moment, I saw relief clear as day on his face, then he smoothed his expression.
"Nerevar. About time you woke up – I was beginning to think you were planning to sleep the day away. If only the Chimer people knew how lazy their hero was..."
I groaned. I felt as if some spirit of mischief had replaced all my muscles with jelly.
"Do you remember the way you idolised me when you were young?" I asked plaintively. "Can we go back to that time, please? It was so much pleasant to deal with."
"Hero-worship dies a quick death when said hero behaves like an idiot," Vivec told me in the lofty tones of a youngster recently come into adulthood and, with it, omniscience. "Which this definitely qualifies as. What were you even thinking? Just because you were born in Sun's Dawn does not mean using your birth-sign ability is a good idea!"
The boy – man, I supposed he was now – had definitely been spending too much time around Sotha Sil. At least, that was the only way I could explain the way he'd picked up the way Sil scolded. My old Wise Woman had nothing on the man, and I wasn't happy to realise he was – one way or another – propagating the ability to the next generation.
"I know it's a terrible idea, trust me. I don't generally call on it. Unfortunately, I didn't have a choice this time. There was-"
(a scamp, least of all Daedra but still a Daedra coming at me with claws sharp enough to carve lines into solid stone, my companion too far away, no useful potion at hand, no way to fight-)
I frowned. My memory of the time leading up to my unconsciousness was unexpectly confused.
"-a child," I said once I'd managed to pull the recollections into a coherent whole. "The Nord came on us so suddenly, I didn't even have time to go for my spear." And I'd be having words with the patrols once I could stand again. We'd been in sight of the camp! Our scouts should have caught the enemy miles away! Being attacked there meant either treachery or incompetence on behalf of those meant to keep these lands safe, and I didn't know which possibility disturbed me more.
Vivec was waiting for me to continue, eyebrow quirked. The fact that he considered my explanation insufficient was written on every inch of him.
"Sul was only yards behind me, so I didn't think it much risk if I collapsed." I paused. "Although I'll admit I didn't expect to actually do so. Apparently I'm more tired than I thought."
My birth-sign ability came with some very obvious drawbacks, so I tried not to use it if I could help it. Still, there were times – like today – when it proved unavoidable. When I was young it had well and truly knocked me out, but the amount of combat I'd seen since had done wonders for my endurance and it had been decades since the last time I'd fainted from its use. It was a trend I'd been hoping to continue.
Vivec was giving me a penetrating look. The scolding was bad enough, if it turned out Sil had passed on his ability to mother-hen in full I'd have to flee the island.
"Is the boy all right?" I asked. To my shame, the impetus for the query was to distract him, but now that I'd said it I did genuinely want to know.
"Fine, I hear. Shaken up, from the attack and from watching his hero collapse before his eyes." Sometimes, Vivec also bore a significant resemblance to a cliff-racer who'd sighted prey in his utter refusal to let something go. Today clearly was one of those days. "We could have used you when the rest of the raiding party attacked-"
"Wait," I interrupted, "there was a full raiding party? How many? What were the casualties? How did they reach this far inland undetected?" I jerked up from where I lay-
-and immediately regretted the impulse, because it proved too much exertion too soon. For a moment I held myself in the vertical through an effort of sheer will, the world spinning around me, all sound drowned out by the racing patter of my heartbeat...
Then darkness swam across my vision as my muscles gave way. I could feel myself fall back to the bed, too weak to brace myself in any way. I was dreading the impact when warm hands caught my shoulders.
"Nerevar!"
The last thing I heard before unconsciousness claimed me again was Vivec cursing up a storm.
When I awoke a second time I was more cautious about it, taking careful stock of my position (lying down, with something soft and warm covering me) and condition (terrible, but I thought I could manage to stay conscious if I was careful about it).
-wait, a second time? I thought back...
...the last thing I remembered clearly was the scamp in Huleen's house. After that... vague impressions of waking, of a golden-skinned mer speaking to me with thinly disguised worry, of some shocking news, of falling. Already fading.
Maybe I'd woken earlier, too out of it to form coherent memories. Even if I had no idea where the Altmer might have come from – I couldn't remember seeing any in town.
I blinked my eyes open and watched the ceiling swim into view. Stone braced with wooden beams, shadows cast from flickering candlelight dancing across it. For some reason, the sight felt vaguely surprising.
More to the point, I didn't think I was in Huleen's hut anymore. I should probably get up so I could work out what happened. Sadly, judging by the sensations being reported back from my muscles, any position outside the horizontal was not going to be happening anytime soon.
"You know, you really need a different offensive spell."
I knew that voice.
"Ervesa?" I croaked. I was still too out of it to be surprised, but I could do confused twice as well to make up for it.
The Buoyant Armiger's face appeared above me, amber earrings winking in the candlelight. "Hi, Adryn. It's good to see you awake. You're in one of the back rooms of the Maar Gan Shrine. I happened to be passing by when I saw you being carried past by a clannfear."
I considered that for a moment.
"I'd say that you cannot possibly be serious, except this town."
The earrings swayed. I guessed Ervesa had nodded; it was hard to make out from this angle. "Brother Methal is a master of Conjuration magic. He called it up to bring you back when you fainted."
"How lovely," I told the ceiling. "If only he'd thought of that spell a little earlier. When we were investigating Huleen's house, say. Then this wouldn't have been necessary at all."
"I'm sure he had a good reason," Ervesa said diplomatically.
"I'm sure," I echoed. I was dubious, to put it mildly, but was far too exhausted to worry about what exactly had been going through the man's head when he left me to face a Daedra on my own, then summoned one himself once the danger was gone.
Unless...
A terrible thought struck me.
It must have looked exceptionally humiliating for the Mages' Guild to have their agent carried, unconscious, through the middle of town by a summoning after having completely failed to hold her own against a single scamp. Methal, on the other hand, would have come out of it the dashing hero, rescuing not just one but two hapless Guild mages from mortal peril. A far better look for the Tribunal Temple than the both of us returning perfectly upright, no matter how much I'd been planning to give him the credit... and, arguably, perfectly in line with the deal we'd struck.
All right, my pride was officially not just dented but entirely crushed.
My thoughts would have probably progressed along increasingly self-pitying lines, except that that was the point where my stomach gurgled.
"I brought soup," offered Ervesa, and reached down to help me sit up.
Eating the soup was a lengthy, awkward experience, given that I was so drained I could barely hold a spoon. Ervesa's help was invaluable. I'd have also called it humiliating, except that there comes a point where you've reached the pinnacle of embarrassment and there is simply no room for any further such feelings.
I wasn't sure I'd forgive Edwinna for this one. Of course, given what I'd done to the reputation of the Mages' Guild in Maar Gan, the feeling was probably mutual.
"-would have liked to be there to get you out, but I was called away," Ervesa said.
At least it was proving an informative encounter, given that Ervesa had apparently decided to distract me from the horrors of the past day by telling me about her perspective on recent events in Vivec.
Apparently Ervesa had heard about my arrest almost as soon as it happened, and I had her to thank for Athyn Sarethi getting involved. I'd made sure to express my gratitude, even if I privately wished she'd been able to find a rescuer with less of a fondness for brutally stripping away all illusions and mental defenses of poor, innocent alchemists, not to mention completely unsuitable offers of patronage. Now that I knew the backstory, I did wonder why Ervesa herself had not numbered among my rescuers.
"Called away?" I asked now.
"My Lord Vivec asked for me." There was something proud and remote in her voice. "He had another task for me, a delicate one. He said I'd done very well in my investigations of the cursed statues, so he could trust me with this." Then, in a softer, awed tone, "He praised me."
"Mm." I looked away, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. I found Ervesa good enough company it was simple to forget she was a religious devotee, and therefore probably demented.
"He asked me to talk to a young man in Suran who was proclaiming himself the Nerevarine."
A sudden surge of dizziness had me glad I was sitting propped up against cushions. I clearly wasn't recovered from today. "Nerevarine?" That word sounded familiar-
Oh, of course. It was what Cosades had wanted me to ask Antabolis about.
Well, I wasn't about to share anything I learned from Ervesa with the Blades. But surely it couldn't hurt to indulge my curiosity. "I don't believe I know what that is?" I prompted.
Ervesa sighed. "It's an Ashlander superstition. They claim that one day Indoril Nerevar will be reborn and go to war against the Tribunal." Her voice grew hard. "It's blasphemy, is what it is. Indoril Nerevar was a great hero of our people and a friend and supporter of the Tribunal in their early days. He's one of our greatest saints and ancestors. Claiming that his spirit would return as an enemy is bad enough. Doing it in this uncertain time? Undermining people's faith in the Temple, when it's the only thing standing between us and Dagoth Ur? It's positively criminal." She paused. "Thankfully, that boy was just misguided. I managed to talk him out of his heresy."
Despite being cocooned in blankets, I was freezing cold. A strange roaring sound filled my ears, and black spots had appeared on the edges of my vision.
"Um, Ervesa?" Was that faint sound really my voice? It sounded... wrong, somehow, too high, something alien about the rise and fall of my Skyrim-accented Tamrielic. "I don't- I'm not feeling well, I don't think I'm quite recovered yet. Do you mind leaving me to get some more sleep?"
"Of course. Sorry, Adryn, I should have realised."
Once Ervesa had helped me lie back down and left, I immediately felt better. I must have overdone it - as any healer will tell you, magicka-induced exhaustion is nothing to play around with. Hopefully I'd feel better after some more sleep.
As I closed my eyes, the memory of Ervesa's voice echoed in my mind.
They claim one day Indoril Nerevar will be reborn...
Indoril Nerevar will be reborn...
Indoril Nerevar... reborn...
The words followed me down into the darkness.
Chapter 17: Chapter Sixteen
Notes:
Warning for some graphic threats of torture in this chapter. I don't think it rises to the level of the fic needing a "graphic depictions of violence" warning overall, but let me know if you disagree.
Chapter Text
The next morning, I woke feeling much better than the day before. A good, natural night's sleep always worked wonders for dealing with the exhaustion that followed the use of the Lover's Kiss, and so I found myself capable of getting up, freshening up in the small washing alcove, and then going in search of breakfast.
I'd been bedded down in a small windowless room where shelves stacked with clay jars, bottles and burlap sacks had been erected against every available wall. Four cots had been crammed into the paltry floor space that remained, although it looked like I was the only current occupant. The air smelled of spices, and from its cool temperature along with the fact that the walls were made of stone and of a very normal shape all told I suspected we were underground. At the end of a corridor, I found a small staircase leading upwards, confirming that belief.
Upstairs did have windows – small round holes carved into the carapace – but they were all shuttered, torches and mage-lights giving the only illumination. The wind moaned outside, an eerie sound that reminded me of wolves in the hills of Daggerfall. Less poetically, it reminded me of the build-up to the ash-storm in Ald'ruhn. I really hoped I wasn't about to experience an encore.
I also really hoped I wasn't about to be kicked out now that I was capable of standing on my own two feet again.
The first door off the corridor I tried opened on another storage room, this one without cots but instead crammed with boxes. The second led to the kitchen. A fire was crackling merrily in the hearth, warming a large iron stove. A cupboard door hung open to reveal stacked clay bowls and cups, dried herbs hung from the ceiling, and a large wood box glimmering with enchantment with runes for cold engraved on his lid took up most of one wall. The smell of fresh bread reached my nose, and I could feel myself relax. Nowhere is as homey as a kitchen.
Methal sat at a small table in the near corner with a bowl. He looked up when the door creaked open.
"Adryn! I'm glad to see you up. You looked rather unwell when I brought you back."
I paused at the entrance to the room in order to give the man a mistrustful glance. I wasn't entirely sure I reciprocated, given that I hadn't quite sorted through my feelings regarding the mer who'd almost let me become a Daedric chew toy.
"Feel free to help yourself to some porridge." He gestured to a large pot on the stove.
My stomach growled at the mention of food. I decided that I wasn't that mistrustful of the man, and fetched myself a bowl.
The porridge (made with an unusual grain I could now recognise as the Morrowind-native saltrice) was bland and tasteless. Eating it was more of a chore than a pleasure, at least up to the point where I noticed the two small pots in the middle of the table. One was scrib jelly, the other a red powder I managed to identify as ground fire-fern leaf. Judging by the colour, Methal's porridge had definitely been adulterated. After following suit, my own became quite palatable.
After a few minutes of eating in silence, Methal put his spoon down. "I owe you an apology."
I paused. "Oh?"
"When you came to me for help, I thought the issue was that you didn't know how to deal with a rogue summoning. I didn't realise you had no skill in combat whatsoever. I put you in danger because of that, and I apologise for it."
Despite my best intentions, I could feel myself thaw. It was a plausible explanation, certainly a kinder one than my imaginings of the day before, and the apology was a welcome balm. Especially because-
"I admit I really hadn't thought the Mages' Guild would send such a person on such a mission. There's no shame in having your skills lie in other directions, don't get me wrong, but surely there were more suitable people who could have investigated?"
Especially because that.
"I have absolutely no idea, you'd have to ask Edwinna." Then, because it was true, I added, "I'm an alchemist. I fail to see why people keep sending me into dangerous situations when the only things I can do are run away, throw potions at them, or paralyse something and faint. I'm getting quite tired of it, to be honest."
"I can imagine." There was a sympathetic note to Methal's voice. My defenses came down further.
Then, honey-smooth, he continued. "You know, the Tribunal Temple is always in need of alchemists. Not only is providing healing one of our primary duties, but our... mm... more military arm is also always in need of potions. The forces at Ghostgate alone... rest assured, we have so much work for alchemists, we'd never dream of sending them on completely unsuitable errands."
I could not possibly be hearing this correctly. "Are you trying to recruit me?"
Methal sprinkled another helping of fire-fern onto his porridge and stirred it in meditatively. "Not recruit, entirely. It's not as though one can just join the Temple as one would a guild. Say rather... I'm making you aware of the benefits of conversion."
"Conversion," I repeated, hoping that this would sound more reasonable on hearing it a second time. Alas, my hope was in vain. "I... I'm sorry. I'm not particularly religious at all."
"Excellent. It would be quite a problem if you were already a devotee of one of the Aedra, wouldn't it? Or a Daedra, for that matter."
I realised my mouth was hanging open and quickly shut it. I supposed I could be grateful I hadn't been eating; that would definitely not be the appropriate impression.
"I... um..." Hurriedly I tried to gather my wits, never to mention my defenses. "Look, I spent years living in an orphanage attached to a temple of Kynareth, all right? We were absolutely surrounded by religion day and night, and it still didn't take. I've decided some people are just inherently unsuited to worship, me being one of them. No offense intended."
I bit my tongue. This was not an angle of attack I'd been expecting, and it showed in my unplanned, too-honest response.
Thankfully, Methal didn't seem to notice that I hadn't meant to let that detail slip. "Oh, I don't blame you when it comes to Kynareth. Worshipping the Aedra... ecch." His lip curled. "What's the point of devoting yourself to beings that have put so much of their being into making the world that they can't even affect it anymore?"
I felt my eyebrows go up in surprise. This was surprisingly close to some of my secret, heretical thoughts on eight of the Nine Divines.
"The Tribunal is quite different, believe me. In fact, from what Ervesa said I believe you've experienced their power yourself. You needed to be cleansed, yes?"
"Yes." I grabbed the change of subject with both hands. "I ran afoul of an ash statue. It... wasn't good." I swallowed against the memories. Maybe religion wasn't such a bad choice of subject after all.
"And how have your dreams been, since the cleansing?"
There was a clinical tone to Methal's voice that made me think of a healer, checking on the treatment of an illness. It made me answer in more detail than I might have otherwise. "Not memorable. Literally. I'm pretty sure I've been dreaming, but I can't remember any of them. But that started happening before I ran into the statue, so I've been chalking them up as back to normal."
"Ah. I see." The priest's expression was grim. What it wasn't was surprised. On the whole, Methal looked more as though I'd just confirmed something he hadn't wanted to be true. I wasn't sure I liked it.
"Is that... is there a problem?" I ventured when he didn't elaborate. "Did the cleansing not work right?" Now there was an idea to turn my (apparently) supremely boring dreams straight back into nightmares.
"What?" Methal blinked at me, then shook his head. "Oh, no. The cleansing worked fine, you're in no danger from the corruption as long as you avoid being exposed again." He then made that statement significantly less reassuring by adding, "Besides, if the cleansing truly hadn't worked, you'd either have noticed or be incapable of noticing by now."
More nightmare fuel right there, as if I didn't have enough to choose from. That abundance may have been what made it easy to put the idea aside in order to keep my focus on Methal's reaction.
"All right, then what is wrong with my dreams? Because clearly something is, from your reaction. If it's something dangerous I'd like to know, whether or not it has anything to do with that statue."
Methal blinked, eyes going wide. For a moment he looked taken aback, then his expression smoothed.
I'd never been the best with people, and so never the best at spotting manipulation. Always a little too gullible, too slow to doubt – Ingerte, to whom it all came so naturally, had nearly despaired of me. More to the point, she'd tried to teach me. Although I hadn't proved a particularly apt pupil, some shreds of her lessons had stuck.
At least, that was the only way I could explain why, as Methal opened his mouth, I found myself absolutely certain that he was about to lie to me.
"-insistent on ignoring the portents, but I trust Nuleno and I trust my divinations and both say this will be a bad one- oh! Hello!"
Both of us looked up as more people entered the kitchen. I recognised Ervesa – clad in her chitin armour, earrings out – but with her came two Dunmer I didn't recognise. An older man, tall and bony with a pale, thin face, and the woman who'd been speaking, dark as a Redguard with curly black hair.
"I'm Tashpi Ashibael," she introduced herself. "Healer, independent but I help out at the shrine on a regular basis. Ooh, is that breakfast?"
As the clearly hungry group filed in, I resigned myself to the fact that I would not be getting any answers, honest or otherwise, from Methal.
Lack of answers notwithstanding, I didn't mind the newcomers. Tashpi was fun to talk to, with an irreverent sense of humour I could very much appreciate. In fact, I was so busy giggling over one of her remarks that although I caught that the older man was nominally in charge of Maar Gan Temple, I entirely missed his name; I silently nicknamed him Scarecrow for his rangy build. Scarecrow seemed friendly enough, although quiet and strangely respectful towards Methal. Between them and Ervesa, I quickly got caught up on some useful information.
After getting an earful on safe summoning practices, Huleen's most unfortunate apprentice had caught the evening strider back to Ald'ruhn to report on events to (and, I hoped, be dressed down by) Edwinna. I, of course, had been unable to join him due to being thoroughly unconscious at the time. When I asked about the next strider out, the others traded uncomfortable glances.
Apparently there was a nasty ash storm inbound, one no caravaneer worth their salt would risk their beast in. I was stuck in Maar Gan until it had passed.
My face must have been a picture at that news, because Scarecrow hastily assured me I could stay at the Temple until I was able to travel back.
"It's the least we can do, after you risked yourself to help us with that scamp." He frowned. He'd professed himself distinctly unimpressed by Listien's recklessness – I'll have to have a word with Huleen about keeping her apprentice in line when she gets back from the mainland, as if Anhaedra wasn't bad enough on his own – and appreciative of my help. "Besides, it's part of our duties, helping stranded wayfarers. I'd say you qualify."
"Speaking of stranded wayfarers..." Tashpi dropped her spoon into her empty bowl with a clink. "Should we start setting up?" At my puzzled look, she explained, "Temple always gets lost travellers coming in in an ash storm – pilgrims, travelling traders, the odd Ashlander, anyone who might be out without shelter. The teleportation beacon, you know. We should get things ready before the storm hits and the stragglers start pouring in. Set up beds, put out healing potions, start a pot of soup, that sort of thing."
I looked around to see agreeing nods. The leisurely breakfast was clearly at an end.
At this point, it would have been easy to beg off. Oh, so sorry, still not recovered from yesterday... probably best if I retire to my bed to rest while the rest of you do the heavy lifting...
Instead, I asked, "Can I help?"
Personally, I blamed Athyn Sarethi. It had been a lot easier to resist my stray altruistic impulses before he'd so brutally stripped me of my dearly-held illusions regarding my own selfishness.
At any rate, that was how I ended up chopping vegetables with Methal and Ervesa as the other two went to set up more cots.
Truthfully, I didn't mind it. Although I was still rather tired, dicing trama root was at least not particularly strenuous as activities went. And the conversation remained interesting, even if it was primarily concerned with the Tribunal Temple. I suspected that Methal hadn't given up on the idea of conversion, but I was quite certain of my immunity in that regard, and Ervesa was surely innocent of any such ulterior motives.
In many ways, Methal was doing me a favour – I needed to simply get a handle on how this local religion worked. I'd been planning to investigate it since my first meeting with Ervesa, but events had gotten in the way, and I was coming to realise that it was intertwined enough with native Dunmer life that I'd really need a decent understanding of it if I wanted to function in Morrowind.
The living gods, Vivec along with Almalexia and Sotha Sil, had certainly been spoken of often in my time on the island, or at least that was my best explanation for why all three names seemed familiar. They seemed to fulfil many of the same functions as the Divines, although clearly far more present and geographically limited in their activities, and although their spheres seemed rather more... Daedric... than what I was used to. Still, the common elements were there.
Stranger to me was the notion of ancestor worship. Although Nords have a healthy respect for their departed forbears (respect which occasionally involves necromancy – don't try to rob a barrow unless you're weary of life, that's all I'm saying), they wouldn't recognise the lengths the Dunmer went to. Ervesa said she prayed to her ancestors on a daily basis, tried to make small sacrifices at least once a week, kept a small shrine in her quarters at Molag Mar and made regular trips to her family's ancestral tomb on the mainland. Even a Greybeard would view that as excessive. In return, she said, they lent her strength and guidance – one had even appeared at her side as a spirit in a difficult fight.
Conceptually, it made sense. Supposing someone decided to hang around after death instead of giving Nirn a (probably metaphorical, at that point) rude gesture and vanishing to some Dunmer equivalent of Sovngarde, it was pretty likely they'd have a vested interest in the well-being of their kids, and their kids, and so on and so forth. Sure, your great-great-grandmother might have less power than an Aedra, but unless you're caught in a really unfortunate family feud you can at least be assured she's going to be on your side in a conflict. All very logical, surely a great reassurance to someone like Ervesa with her clan name and ancestral tomb...
...and then there was me, alone in the world with no trace of family and no clue who said ancestors might be at all. I was beginning to understand why native Dunmer treated my circumstances as such a huge tragedy. Frankly, I'd have preferred to remain ignorant.
"I thank you for your enthusiasm for the task, but I'm wondering if the trama root did something to offend you?" Methal asked.
"Of course it did," I said, deadpan. "Insulted my heritage. I'm honourably obliged to take revenge."
Even in this new context, lack of family wasn't all bad. At least, I could head straight to the afterlife after death. No hanging around looking after people for me, no.
"Ah, very understandable. But we really don't need the trama minced that fine. Perhaps you could take mercy on it?"
I agreed that I did, indeed, see myself capable of forgiving the root I'd been in the process of demolishing for its crimes and forced myself to concentrate on the assembly of the soup.
Possibly my intent focus was catching, because we worked in silence from that point on. In what felt like no time at all, a large pot sat simmering on the stove, the dishes and chopping boards had been washed, dried and put away, and we were looking at each other wondering what to do next. Three people seemed a little excessive for stirring.
"Ah, I see you've finished too." Scarecrow walked in. "I'll take matters from here. Er, that is, if you don't mind," he added hastily, shooting Methal an anxious look.
"What, you don't trust my cooking skills? I think I may be insulted."
I was relatively sure Methal was joking, but Scarecrow clearly wasn't considering the horror that spread across his face. Catching sight of the expression, Methal raised his hands. "Don't worry! I don't trust my cooking skills, it's for the best that someone with a sense for seasoning takes over this stage of the operation." A brief pause. "I am, of course, at your disposal. Is there anything else you'd like us to help you with?"
"Um." Scarecrow was still white, and seemed to be having some trouble finding his voice. Uneasiness curled in my gut as I watched him stammer. It would be easy to dismiss the man as overly anxious and shy, but he hadn't reacted to any of the rest of us this way. Only Methal.
Methal, who I'd love to think of much like Ervesa – a low-ranking Temple member with a sense of humour willing to be friendly to hapless outlanders, with a few manageable flaws such as not realising that your average alchemist was not capable of fighting off a scamp... except that there were things about him that didn't quite add up. His ease with Conjuration, the strange moment we'd shared before the others had arrived. His confidence, quiet but very present if you looked for it, a rock-hard certainty of his own ability and place in the world which felt as though it should belong to a grey-haired elder, not someone who looked to be just out of novicehood. And now Scarecrow's reactions.
No. There was something odd here.
"Actually," Scarecrow had finally managed to collect himself. "I was hoping that you might be willing to continue what you were working on earlier, before we were warned of the storm?"
It was a question, although Methal bowed his head as though it had been an order. "Of course. Would you like to join me, Adryn?"
Wait, how had I become part of this conversation?
"As a major destination for pilgrimages, the Maar Gan shrine receives many donations – including of magical items. Since there is no trained mage attached to the Temple, they tend to pile up until a brother or sister who can identify them passes by. Myself being a prime example." He shrugged. "I wouldn't mind company, and I assume you have some basic magical training, yes? I admit my expectations of the Mages' Guild are low, but I'm expecting they do require something of the sort in their recruits."
I paused.
It did sound interesting. And I had to admit I found myself curious about the man and his unexplained mysteries. Perhaps he'd let something slip?
Besides, if I remembered my recruitment correctly (and I did, considering it had been less than a month ago), the Mages' Guild did not, in fact, require basic magical training in their recruits. However, I wasn't planning to admit to that – after my showing in Huleen's Hut, I felt I needed to try to preserve some of the guild's reputation – and bowing out at this stage might raise awkward questions.
"Sure," I said. "It sounds like fun."
Ervesa, who professed only middling training in magic, sat by the side checking her gear as Methal and I went through the items. To Methal's clear surprise – and growing respect – my knowledge proved useful for even the nonmagical items, as I could at a glance separate ruby from garnet, solid silver from coatings or alloys, and value items quite precisely. A thief's training did have uses even outside the criminal realm, even though I didn't plan to inform either of the two mer of the source of my knowledge.
The magical items didn't go quite as well, which came as something of a surprise seeing as I'd always been proud of my sensitivity and relished the chance to hone my abilities. However, Methal turned out to be significantly more experienced in the area than I was, and him attempting to give me tips was more frustrating than helpful.
Now, I certainly wasn't one to refuse knowledge due to wounded pride, and initially I listened to his explanation about spells used to analyse the precise makeup of an enchanted item with interest... up to the point where he mentioned they were from the Mysticism school, falling into the Absorption subschool. Something about taking in a miniscule amount of the magicka emanating from an item in order to pick apart its composition more precisely than was possible with a purely passive scan. A fascinating and novel application of the school, I was sure, except for the oh-so-small downside that Absorption spells, like Soultrap, were spells Ledd's Syndrome apparently left me unable to learn. I made do with my passive senses aided by my detection spell tuned to enchantments, but watching Methal pull detailed information from each item smarted.
"What do you think about this one?" Methal asked, distracting me from my thoughts. "I don't believe it's magical, but I'm not certain of the metal."
He was holding out a roughly conical dark crystal about four inches long, clamped in heavily tarnished silver at both ends. Tiny Daedric letters had been etched into it, running along its side. I took the crystal and brought it closer to my face to read Falasmaryon.
It seemed...
(a crystal held in my hand, frowning as I tried to funnel my magicka into the bthuri while balancing the nzamchend-)
...familiar.
More to the point, I wasn't picking up any active magicka at all. "Not enchanted," I agreed, trying to shake off the strange feeling that was false recognition. "Under the tarnish that's pure silver, though. Maybe someone wanted a fancy paperweight, or... wait a moment."
The object didn't feel magical, no. There was none of the glow so common to enchanted items, and it was a blank spot amid pinpricks of magicka I could feel around the room. However, I still had trouble continually keeping my detection spell to a single level over a long period. Just now, it had fluctuated away from the one I used to pick up on enchanted items. And on the other level...
With a thought, I let the spell shift.
The Mystic beacon for the Maar Gan Temple was just at the entrance, probably no more than a few dozen feet from where we now sat. This close, it was almost overwhelming, but if I concentrated I could pick up on more beacons further away. Two far to the south, in the direction we'd come from in the strider – one was Ald'ruhn Temple, I presumed, although I had no idea what the other would be. They felt much like the Maar Gan beacon, although one was slightly lower in 'pitch' (for lack of a better word). One to the northeast, closer than Ald'ruhn, which did not feel the same as any of the others. The best I could do to describe the difference was that there was a vibrating hum underlying this signature which was missing from the others.
And...
And there was a thin strand connecting that northeastern signature with the crystal I held in my hands, a tiny echo of that hum beating against my palms.
"Well, isn't that interesting."
"What's interesting?"
I jumped. Lost in thought, I'd forgotten that I wasn't alone. Methal and Ervesa were now looking at me curiously.
"There's something odd about that crystal. It's..."
I described what I felt as best I could, which – judging by Ervesa's confused expression – wasn't very well at all. Most likely, the fact that my impressions were being filtered through a learning disability wasn't helping.
"Interesting," Methal agreed after I finally gave up. "To the northeast, you say?" He held out a hand for the crystal. I gave it back with a strange pang of reluctance. The item felt familiar, still, despite the fact that I knew I'd never seen anything like it before.
Methal turned it over so the inscription was fully exposed. "It must be Falasmaryon. It's an old Chimer fortress," he explained, "as were built in the time of the Grand Council between the Dwemer and Chimer. Uninhabited, these days."
"At least we hope so," Ervesa jumped in. "Places like that – the fortresses, but also caves and old Velothi domes – they attract trouble like flies. Bandits, fugitives, unsanctioned slavers, smugglers, mages running illicit experiments, even cursed necromancers... anyone that has a reason to want a hideout away from town. It's actually the reason I'm in Maar Gan, I've been asked to do a sweep of places like that to make sure nothing's holing up near here."
"Well, that's all well and good and you've successfully cured me of ever wanting to voluntarily set foot in a cave on this island, but why do we have a crystal with a non-magical magical connection to this place?" I looked pointedly at the crystal in Methal's hands.
Methal looked down at it as if he hadn't realised he was still holding it, then passed it back to me. I could feel myself relax a little once I had it back in my hands, which was odd. Strange feelings of familiarity aside, I knew I'd never seen anything like this before. There was no reason at all to be feeling possessive over the thing.
"The consensus of historians is that the fortresses were the first major Chimer constructions, a significant shift in what had previously been a purely nomadic people." Methal's voice took on a lecturing tone. I wondered if the man taught. "There is a noticeable amount of Dwemeris influence present in them, far more than in the Velothi style or any of the other architectural modes that became common later. As a result, there are still a number of unanswered questions about parts of the fortresses and their function." He nodded at the crystal. "I wouldn't be surprised if this object were Dwemer in origin, or the result of some collaboration. The Dwemer used a very different method of enchanting, one which doesn't read as magical to our modern detection spells. At least that's the leading theory these days."
A different method of enchanting? Now that sounded interesting. I certainly wouldn't object to someone taking soul gems out of the equation.
In fact, the whole story was tickling my curiosity. A mysterious possibly-Dwemer artifact, tied to Chimer history? Not only was it interesting, it was something that Edwinna Elbert might find so as well... something she might be inclined to let an Apprentice research, tucked away safe and sound in the Ald'ruhn Mages' Guild.
A pity, then, that – strange feelings about it aside – the crystal most emphatically did not belong to me-
"Would you like to keep it?"
Wait, what?
"I honestly don't know what the Temple should do with it otherwise. It's really only of interest to a very specific class of researcher, and enough of what I've told you is supposition that it would be hard to ask for much in the way of money for it. You're clearly interested in it, and have already made headway in analysing it." A pause. "Call it a reward for your actions to keep Maar Gan safe."
Methal was meeting my eyes with no attempt at evasion, a frank and open expression on his face. No sign of a liar here. All the same, something sat uneasy with me about this. As if he wasn't telling me something.
Probably my imagination. After all, what possible benefit would the man gain from giving me the crystal?
"Thank you," I answered after a moment's thought. "This is very generous of you, especially since I can't exactly take responsibility for removing the threat to Maar Gan."
"But you can for making me aware of it," Methal countered.
I didn't argue further, tucking the crystal away. One really shouldn't look a gift horse (or magical artifact) in the mouth. Besides, I wasn't dim-witted, hadn't succumbed to the brain-fungus known as 'honour', was in short not a Redoran to turn down a reward for risking life and limb.
(Athyn Sarethi's opinions on the matter notwithstanding.)
"All right then," I said. "Shall we continue?"
Methal had opened his mouth to respond when a low, throbbing sound rang through the air, the resonance so deep I heard it as much through my bones as my ears. It was rather as if a giant had struck a gong the size of a house, and I winced at the sensation. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ervesa go straight and still.
Finally, the sound died down. "What was that?" I asked once I no longer felt as though my teeth were going to vibrate out of my skull.
"That," said Methal, "was the alert telling us that someone just used the Intervention point. I activated it earlier. It seems the first person seeking shelter from the storm has just arrived."
That marked the end of our peaceful interlude. The woman who'd triggered the alert had barely set foot inside when the next person teleported in. After that, we were constantly on our feet, bringing bowls of soup and healing potions to dazed, coughing people, dusting them off, wrapping blankets around their shoulders and guiding them to sit down somewhere where they could recover without being tripped over. I found myself desperately grateful for Tashpi, who as an experienced healer was able to do triage and take care of those who needed more than soup and a potion.
Several hours later found me leaning against a wall in the entrance area of the shrine, wondering if I could pretend to be a storm victim myself; I felt dead on my feet and could probably do with something hot to eat. At least I could afford a break, seeing as the influx had died down. I suspected that anyone out in the storm who hadn't teleported in by now was in no shape to do so.
"You. Mortal."
I hadn't exactly forgotten the resident dremora – hard to do so, when its glare made my skin crawl – but I'd been trying to take a leaf from the book of those experienced in dealing with it. All the inhabitants of Maar Gan who I'd met today ignored the thing with a fierce intensity. I wasn't sure I could match it – of all the phrases that could be used to describe my character, "stoic in the face of provocation" was not one of them – but I was trying my best.
"You. With the orange hair that looks like something nested in it."
I bit my tongue.
"Are you deaf, mortal?"
I could feel my brows furrow despite myself. The dremora sounded... insistent. A pretty significant change from its usual demeanour of being afflicted with near-lethal boredom. And for all that it liked to throw truly unnecessarily graphic threats of torture, death and dismemberment at anyone who spent time in its vicinity, this was the first time I'd seen it try to gain a specific person's attention.
Apparently the dremora had caught the expression. "Ah, so you are listening. Do keep staying silent. Words cannot describe how uninterested I am in your pathetic mewlings."
Was this some sort of trick? Trying to get me to talk by virtue of my sheer contrariness?
If so, I was embarrassed to admit it worked, because before I could think the better of it my mouth was opening.
"In that case, why are you talking to me?"
"Believe me, I wish I wasn't," the dremora snapped. "Your shallow mortal mind cannot even begin to grasp how much I despise being trapped in this place, gawked at and humiliated, without even the ability to gut the offenders. A thousand tortures on the false god for chaining me here. I dream of the day my lord punishes him for his effrontery. I hope his lying tongue will be extracted from him piece by bleeding piece by the torturers of Coldharbour, his eyes eaten by maggots, his feet roasted in hot coals, his toes sliced from them and fed to him-"
As the dremora went on, I took a small step back. The creature's previous threats, disturbing though they'd been, had been rather undermined by the fact that it seemed to find the whole business almost too tedious to bother with. Not so now. That alien voice was alive with malice, each increasingly graphic threat brought forth with relish. Call me a shallow mortal, but the level of sheer loathing on display here was rather chilling. I considered myself far from the nicest person around (Athyn Sarethi's accusations notwithstanding), but all the same I couldn't imagine hating anyone or anything with the sheer single-minded intensity the dremora was bringing to bear.
I guessed the creature noticed my uneasiness, because it smiled at me. The sight did not qualify as reassuring.
"Still have a weak stomach, I see. No matter. As I was saying, mortal, I loathe Vivec and his servants. In contrast, I do not loathe the Lady Azura. She is not my lord, but she is powerful and they have had dealings in the past... and she is not the one who has chained me here. So, in the spirit of respect and friendship," the dremora spat the words, "I have a warning for you, mortal."
All right. It was official: I'd lost track of this conversation. "What does Azura have to do with-"
"Did I permit you to ask questions, you snivelling worm?"
I shut up.
"My warning." The dremora's eyes bored into me. "You should not be here, you stupid creature. The Temple is not your friend. Your dear Methal is not your friend. And the false god? He is definitely no longer your friend. It astounds me that you have not learned this by now – even for an empty-headed mortal, you are tremendously forgetful about these things. So." It leaned forward, its voice dropping to a hiss. "Run, mortal. Run as though Hircine himself is after you, because you are not safe here."
The dremora leaned back against the stone wall again, silent. Clearly, it had said its piece.
My mouth was dry, my heart beating like a rabbit's. The Daedra had conjured the ominous threat so vividly the lights almost seemed a little lower, the air colder, the shadows dark and hiding monsters. For a moment I was seized by the urge to do as it bid and run out the door, storm or no storm-
Except, of course, that none of what it had said made any sense at all.
"I." My voice was a croak. I stopped, ran my tongue along my teeth in a bid to draw out some moisture, then tried again. "I think you must have me- confused. With someone else. We've never met before, I also haven't met Vivec." The identity of the dremora's 'false god' was quite clear from context. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember if I had. Really, I'm no one important, there's absolutely no reason for Methal or the Temple as a whole or a living god or a Daedric Prince to be paying any attention to me."
Weak at the start, my voice had picked up strength as I went on, bolstered by all the arguments as to why the dremora's nightmarish warnings did not match reality. At this point I'd regained enough confidence to add, "But I... thank you for the thought."
I was pretty sure the dremora had been trying to help me, even if the process had been disturbing, offensive and completely insane by turns. There was no harm in politeness.
The dremora looked at the ceiling. "Lady Azura, please note: I did what I could. If your ihilkulnaz is too stupid to heed a warning freely given, that's hardly my fault." It looked back at me, eyes narrowed. "You'll deserve it when the false god breaks you, little fool."
Before I could respond, the door swung open.
"Adryn? Are you in there? Salen needs help in the kitchen-"
Ervesa stopped so abruptly after entering I wouldn't be surprised if her boots had left skid-marks on the worn stone floor. Her eyes flicked between me and the Daedra, brow furrowed.
"If you've been bothering people again, I'll get Methal to sort you out," she finally said, voice colder than I'd ever heard it. Her gaze was resting on the Daedra.
"Bother people? I have done no such thing." It narrowed its eyes at her. "Trust me, mortal, if I decide to bother people you will not be able to mistake it for anything else."
Ervesa didn't seem impressed by what was clearly a threat. "It will go badly for you if you're lying," was her response. After a last narrow-eyed stare in the dremora's direction, she turned to approach me.
"Come on." A warm hand clasped my shoulder, giving me a gentle push towards the direction of the door. "Let's get away from here."
Ervesa steered me briskly out of the antechamber. The corridors passed me by in a blur, the greetings of the people we passed an indistinct babble. I was dimly aware that I was trembling.
"There. Drink." I blinked, realising I was back in the kitchen. Miraculously, considering the bustle of the day, it was empty except for the two of us. I was seated at the table, an opened vial in front of me. Ervesa was watching me from next to the hearth.
Last I remembered, I'd been walking. I seemed to have lost the events of the last few minutes. That was probably a bad sign.
"Drink. Before you keel over."
Although I'd deny it to my death-day, a sufficiently commanding voice did have the desired effect when I was sufficiently out of it. Later, I'd blame the orphanage. For now, I obediently lifted the vial to my mouth. I had to hold it in both hands to keep it steady enough not to spill.
Scathecraw, bittergreen, trama root... frightfully bitter, but more importantly rejuvenating, a restorative of mental capacity. A genuine Morrowind treatment for shock, in fact. I'd made it with Ajira only a few days ago, fulfilling an order from Fort Moonmoth.
"Thanks, Ervesa," I said hoarsely when the vial was empty.
She gave me a critical look. Apparently my appearance still didn't meet with her approval, because she frowned.
"You're still far too pale. Here, have some soup." A bowl was placed in front of my nose.
Potions are all well and good, but sometimes even an alchemist has to admit that there's no substitute for the old-fashioned non-magical remedies. The earthy liquid chased away the last bitterness of the restorative to curl warm in my belly. Finally, I felt myself relax.
"Much better." The intense feeling of Ervesa's eyes on me faded. When I looked up, she'd joined me with her own bowl. "It was probably time we had a break anyway. Especially you, considering yesterday. Still, I have to ask. What in Vivec's name did Anhaedra say to you?"
Not in Vivec's name. That was part of the problem, in fact.
"He..."
He seemed to have some demented idea that the Temple had it out for me, he must have me confused with someone else but it was still remarkably disturbing...
The words built up in my throat, eager to be spilt, for me to share the events of the past half an hour with someone who could appreciate their absurdity – who'd be able to help me laugh them off.
They stayed there, locked away by some hitherto unknown caution. Something about the dremora's intensity had stuck with me. I still couldn't believe there was any truth to his warnings – what could I have possibly done to earn the Temple's ire, after all – but all the same...
It couldn't hurt to be careful, right?
"Adryn?" A warm hand covered my own where it rested on the table. I blinked, realising I'd been staring off into space.
"Sorry, Ervesa. Um. I was just remembering." I licked my lips. "He... drew me into a conversation. I know I shouldn't have responded, but he was trying to get a rise out of me and I'm... pretty easy when it comes to that kind of thing. He got angry about being trapped here, started talking about what he wanted to happen to the ones responsible. The imagery was... very vivid."
None of it a lie... except that I was leaving out some crucial details.
Ervesa hadn't shifted her hand, fingers still wrapped around mine. Now, she squeezed lightly. The sensation made tingles spread up my arm. My life didn't exactly involve an abundance of being touched these days. Usually, that suited me well enough. Still, I... didn't mind this.
"I'm sorry, I think we're all a little too used to Anhaedra. He doesn't usually go after a single person like that, but he sometimes gets into moods. We should have warned you about him."
"It's all right. I'd gathered he was dangerous, I shouldn't have responded." Really shouldn't have responded. Nonsensical as they were, I had a horrible feeling the dremora's words would stay with me for a while. "Why do you even have a Daedra bound to the place, anyway?" I decided to kill two rats with one trap by changing the subject to something I'd wondered about since I first saw the creature.
"Well. It's Lord Vivec's doing, so no one knows exactly. Perhaps it's to prove the Tribunal's strength to the House of Troubles – Molag Bal, Mehrunes Dagon, Malacath and Sheogorath," she elaborated in response to my questioning look. "Perhaps Anhaedra has some part to play here which my lord in his wisdom foresaw. Perhaps as a sign to the people of Maar Gan." She shrugged. "Or perhaps he thought it would be funny. Or perhaps all of those and more. 'Vivec is a letter written in uncertainty,' as the saying goes." Ervesa sounded distinctly proud at the idea of having such a confusing god.
Sounds like Vivec, indeed.
I shook off the strange thought. "Well, that clarifies things. Or rather, it doesn't, but at least I know I'm not the only one wondering."
"Trust me, people have been wondering about Vivec since long before either of us were born!" Ervesa's laugh rang out, bright as a bell.
It immediately attracted trouble.
"Ervesa, er- newcomer-"
"Adryn," I supplied to Scarecrow, who was now standing in the doorway and looking rather frazzled. I generously decided to forgive him having forgotten my name on grounds of him clearly having enough on his mind already – never to mention that it would make me quite the hypocrite to hold it against him.
"My apologies for abandoning you, Salen," Ervesa said. "Adryn had something of a run-in with Anhaedra and wasn't feeling particularly well afterwards. However, I think she's recovered enough to continue now, or?" She shot me a glance.
"Yes, thank you Ervesa." And thank you for phrasing that in a way that made it near impossible to say 'no', as well. I levered myself up with a sigh. It had been a nice break while it lasted. "Where do you need us?"
[A ciphered letter sent to Arch-canon Tholer Saryoni at the close of the Third Era. There is no signature, however marks made by the Couriers' Guild indicate the letter originated in Maar Gan.]
To my beloved friend,
Lord Vivec has gifted me with his luck, it seems. Mere days after we spoke of the new possible N., I chanced across her on one of my journeys. Of course, I took advantage of the opportunity and performed some tests. She passed them all, or perhaps that should be failed them all? In any case, I no longer have any doubt about the matter.
(One of said tests involved the propylon index I mentioned. I hope you were not too attached to it? I know you expressed interest, but it is not as if it is more than a glorified paperweight in our hands, and I admit to some curiosity as to what she will make of it.)
I took the liberty of performing a preliminary threat and asset assessment. My conclusion as far as the former is concerned: negligible. She is completely untrained in combat, which is rather ironic but quite useful at this junction. As for the latter, although my initial inquiry was unsuccessful, I still believe there is potential there. We have found her early, this time: she is young, lonely, and wants to belong. There are several cracks that clever enough words might slip inside, and my words can be very clever indeed.
The weather continues frightful. The storms are worse than ever, and several of the townspeople have confided they hear voices on the winds. I wish I could believe it was so simple a thing as an ill omen, if only I could not feel the Sharmat's hand at work. One of the Armigers goes to seek out the corruption, but I fear it is a losing battle – there are too many nooks and crannies in the wastes where Dagoth's creatures may hide.
My friend, if our lord wishes to hear his servant's meager wisdom, this is it: these are desperate times, and in such times any tool that comes to hand is good. As such things go, the girl looks to sit in the palm well enough and better than her predecessors. Discarding her without even testing her edge would be a waste.
Of course, I bow to your leadership, and to our lord's unknowable divinity. If you would have me do differently in the matter, you must but send word. I stand ready and willing to act in the usual manner if it is desired.
I remain, as always, yours in faith and brotherhood,
M.
Chapter 18: Chapter Seventeen
Notes:
OK, so I'm terrible at responding to reviews. I'm really sorry, I try, but time gets away from me and then I'm a socially awkward mess staring at a review posted two weeks ago going "but if I answer it now, it'll be weird, right?"
Given that, I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank absolutely everyone who's commented, or bookmarked, or kudosed this fic. Seriously, thank you so much for sticking with me through this! You keep me writing. Please rest assured that every one of these I get absolutely makes my day, even if I don't manage to respond at the time.
Chapter Text
Standing in the entrance to Indoranyon's propylon chamber, I nodded in approval. Zammusibael Siddurnanit might speak disparagingly of magic at Council, but apparently he could follow instructions when it suited. Everything had been set up as I'd specified, the diagrams sketched on the floor with admirable precision, the crystals I'd requested lined up by size on a nearby workbench. A simple touch proved that they had the requisite magical properties, too – which mage must Siddurnanit have hired to ensure that, and how hard did he gnash his teeth?
For a moment, I wondered what would have happened if I'd requested something far more exotic – for the diagram to be drawn in an elder vampire's blood, perhaps, or the crystals to be of pure diamond. It was probably for the best I hadn't. By the look of it, old Siddurnanit would have done it, and he'd never had much of a sense of humour.
Who are you calling old, Nerevar?
I ignored the whisper at the back of my mind with the studied obliviousness of a man who does not want to think about the grey hairs he's recently been finding in his hairbrush, thank you very much.
"Um. Sir?"
Surprised, I glanced back at the doorway where a figure stood. The sunlight streaming in behind him made it hard to make out more than a silhouette, but that and the voice were enough to make clear my visitor couldn't be much older than twelve.
"Well, this is a surprise. I wasn't expecting company." I made sure to keep my voice light and friendly. Children always put me in mind of Vivec as he'd been, embarrassed as Vivec himself would surely be to hear that.
"Ah... my master said he wanted to introduce us..."
As the boy came further inside, more details became apparent. Older than Vivec had been when we'd met, on the cusp of adolescence, and certainly doing better for himself than Vivec had so long ago. The plumpness in his cheeks spoke of a childhood without hunger, and the blue robes were good quality, especially for a youngster.
"Your master? Who-" An embroidered sigil on the right shoulder of the robe, in the position of patronage, caught my eye. The breaking wave; sotha. "Oh, of course. Sotha Sil. I should have realised, he mentioned that he'd taken on an apprentice."
I rifled through my memory. It had been just a paragraph, and I'd been more interested by his commentary on Nchum's latest work at the time, but centuries of politics and diplomacy had done wonders for my ability to remember names. "Divayth, wasn't it?"
Judging by the way the boy's eyes widened, I'd hit the mark. "Ah- yes! Of clan Fyr, my lord, it's an honour." Then, after a moment, "Master Sotha mentioned me?"
I had to smile at the hopeful voice. "He did," I agreed, deciding not to mention the proportion of the letter young Divayth had taken up. "He said you were clever enough, and... interested in extraplanar travel, was it?"
Which would explain why Sil had wanted to introduce the two of us. I was something of an expert when it came to magical travel on this plane, and the same principles could be applied to transport outside the bounds of Mundus – although I personally had never been particularly interested in taking my work in that direction. Instantaneous transport from Indoranyon to Rotheran is useful; transport from Indoranyon to Coldharbour distinctly less so. At least I certainly failed to see the appeal of the horde of angry Daedra that would await.
Judging by the light in young Divayth's face, he was of the same bent as Sil and so many others in that he disagreed with me. "Imagine what we could discover, if we could set foot into Oblivion! So much potential within our grasp!"
For a moment, he reminded me of nothing and no one so much as Kagrenac... Kagrenac, and the reasons he and I had never quite gotten on. For a moment I was tempted to let loose a harsh remark, but I felt the ring on my finger warm and thought better of it. Over the course of my life – occasionally with enchanted assistance – I'd learned that if you're going to utter such things at all, it's generally best to keep such things to the person they're actually meant for.
Instead, I changed the subject. "So where is Sil, anyway? He surely didn't send you here alone."
"He said he'd show me around, but then we ran into Lady Almalexia. He told me to wait, then they went off together." There was a hint of a whine in the young voice, one that intensified as the boy went on. "Probably they're talking about politics things that are too secret for an apprentice to listen in on." His arms crossed in a sulk.
I, on the other hand, had a very good idea of what Sil and my wife were up to, and Divayth was miles off. Which was for the best, of course. Not only was there the scandal and political implications to consider, Divayth was still too young for such things.
Sometimes I wished I still was, myself.
For a moment, I let myself imagine Sil and Almalexia lying entwined together, shadows playing over golden skin. I should, I knew, feel jealousy. Anger. And, of course, lust. Instead, I only felt cold and small, crushed beneath the weight of secrets, duty and my own inadequacy.
"I'm sure you're right. Almalexia did mention to me she had something important to discuss with Sil." The lie tasted bitter in my mouth. Really, what was Sil thinking, abandoning the boy to go roll in the sheets with his lover? To think he used to lecture me on responsibility.
Let it go, Nerevar.
I pushed the thoughts out of my mind and turned back to Divayth. "I hope you'll consider me adequate as a temporary substitute for your master. I was about to link Indoranyon to the propylon network, and I'd welcome a helping pair of hands."
The boy's eyes widened. "Really? You mean it? Thank you, my lord!" The excitement was clear in his face, the pout gone as if it had never been there. Ah, the changeable moods of the young.
In all honesty, I was glad for the company. The propylon network wasn't easy to work with, true, but this was the fifth chamber I'd set up – and that wasn't even counting all the experimentation I'd done to get the magic to work in the first place. At this point, the whole thing was familiar enough that I could let my mind drift as I worked... and after our conversation just now, I knew where my thoughts would go if I did. I'd disapproved of brooding even when I'd been of an age more suited to it, doing it now would just be embarrassing.
Divayth proved an excellent distraction. I quickly worked out why the notoriously misanthropic Sil had been willing to take him on – in fact, if I had enough time to spend on research to justify an apprentice, I'd be tempted to try to steal him. The boy was smart, curious and not afraid to ask questions, all traits that were rarer than they should be.
He also followed my explanations well enough, which too was an infrequent occurrence these days. The linked magical arts of teleportation and detection I'd developed with the help of Sil, Nchum, Mithand and (early on) Kagrenac were slowly being supplanted by the new school developed by the Psijics and brought from Artaeum to Resdayn by travelers. The two were similar on a superficial level but different in the fundamentals, exemplified by the fact that I'd found myself utterly unable to get the hang of the Psijic school – Sil suspected a mental block, but if so it was one I hadn't been able to overcome. This proved a problem when I was faced with students whose only training was in the new magics. Divayth, praise to Azura, was conversant in both.
"Master insisted. I didn't understand at the time, there's a lot of overlap in the spells, but there are things it's possible to do with one but not the other... right?"
"You'd have to ask someone else for the detailed comparison," I said wryly. "I'll just say that no spell for anchoring a teleportation between fixed points has come from Artaeum, although it's quite possible they simply haven't been interested. Now, stand over here and-"
With Divayth's help we made faster time with the ritual than expected, although not so fast that I wasn't more than ready for a break by the time we finished. Divayth himself was definitely drooping, and I felt a moment of guilt. Had I pushed him too far? He'd seemed eager, but perhaps I should have forced us to stop and rest? I didn't really know how to care for children, not having any of my own.
And that, as with Almalexia and Sotha Sil, was not a thought for the brightness of day, nor to be mulled over when in company.
For all his clear exhaustion, Divayth shook his head firmly when I mentioned stopping.
"Can we test it first? Please?"
I raised an eyebrow. Dedicated, too. Sil should count himself lucky that I wasn't in the market for an apprentice right now, really.
"All right, then." I was about to suggest leaving the chamber when a moment of whimsy struck me. I fished in my pocket- there.
Divayth's eyes widened when I withdrew a crystal that was twin to the one he was holding, the one we'd just spent at least an hour slaving over. "Is that-"
"Pay attention, now." I rested my free hand on the boy's shoulder. Physical contact would make this easier. "A propylon index isn't enchanted like Trueflame, or the Moon-and-Star, or-" I owned an embarrassing amount of famous, named artifacts for someone who'd grown up in a yurt. "-that amulet you're wearing. It doesn't have its own store of magicka. Instead, it carries a... set of instructions, if you will, for shaping a connection back to the propylon chamber it belongs to, which does contain a store of magicka. But you have to prime it to get the spell to work. Feed it just a trickle of your magicka. Like..."
Let your power seep into the crystal, flow the way it's meant to go-
"-this."
Air moved around us, stirring the hem of Divayth's robes and sprinkling dust over my boots.
At first, one might think that we hadn't moved at all. However, a second glance put paid to that. This chamber was smaller and more oval than Indoranyon's, the stone darker, and there was a steady stream of people moving past the propped-open double doors where in Indoranyon it'd been only the two of us.
"Are we- we're really-"
I gave Divayth a little shove; the surprise seemed to have rooted him to the spot, but staying on the receiving pedestal for too long would make whoever was travelling after us distinctly annoyed. He resisted for a moment, then sped forward. I followed as he pushed his way through the crowds, amused, to find him staring out at the many islands of the Sheogorad.
"We're in Rotheran." The boy's voice was filled with awe. Then it changed. "We're in Rotheran. That's days away from Indoranyon! And Master Sil has no idea where I am!"
"Well, then, I guess we simply have to hope we did our work correctly." I chuckled at the look Divayth shot my way. The indignation was so funny on his face, I opted not to mention the fact that in the unlikely event that we hadn't, I had a few other tricks up my sleeve that could get us back. "What? I thought you wanted to test it?"
I bade Ervesa farewell at the gates of Maar Gan, autumn sunlight lighting the ashy wastes with a golden glow. The skies were clear today, as if in apology for the storm the previous day. If so, I wasn't inclined to accept it. The evidence of the storm's misdeeds were everywhere to be seen – fresh drifts of ash against buildings, many of the large clay pots Morrowind natives kept outside their homes smashed and overturned by the wind, one hut's roof collapsed...
...and, of course, the distinct lack of the silhouette of a silt strider against the horizon.
Ervesa didn't seem inclined to let it stop her. "Now's the best time for travelling, really," she said as she pinned her braids to her head, the movements so deft even without a mirror it was clear she'd had a lot of practice. "A lot of the beasts will be hunkering down after a storm... a lot of the more person-shaped ones as well. And the storm shifts a lot of the ash around... you never know what might have been uncovered."
Ervesa, who'd gotten more and more antsy as yesterday went on, sounded positively giddy at leaving the safety of city walls for an ashy hellscape beset with dangerous beasts. Well, I supposed a total lack of lunacy would be too much to ask for – I should find myself grateful it didn't affect more.
The helmet went on, replacing Ervesa by the giant insect I'd first met near Lake Amaya once again. "You'll be careful?" giant insect asked, voice distinctly muffled.
"Me?" I frowned, taken aback. "What do I have to be careful about? I'm going to sit snug in the Temple until the silt strider service is running again. Wash dishes, make porridge, help Methal with identifying items... or Tashpi with her healing potions." The offer had come yesterday evening, and although Tashpi had sounded rather offhand about it I was planning to jump on the opportunity with both feet. "You're the one who's going to be throwing yourself headfirst into danger, shouldn't I be telling you to be careful?"
"Possibly you should! But I won't take it back in any case." Gauntleted hands planted themselves on armoured hips. "Adryn – every single time we've met so far, you've been in trouble. Trouble which you generally got yourself into while trying to rescue someone. Forgive me if I'm not entirely convinced when you claim you'll keep out of it this time."
I steadfastly refused to look Ervesa in the eye, a task made significantly easier by the helmet. "Do you and Athyn Sarethi talk? Because it should be forbidden, if so. Banned. I'll petition King Helseth to make it a royal decree."
The giant insect ignored my grumbling, instead bending to lift her pack to her shoulders. "So! We'll see each other soon, I hope, I should be passing through Ald'ruhn pretty regularly. Do try to make it back there safely, without any escapades involving saving pilgrims from rogue Ashlanders or the like, will you?"
"I promise I have every intention of leaving any and all saving to you." I felt that farewell missed a certain something, so I awkwardly added, "Take care out there. Don't die, all right?"
"Obviously I'm not going to die. Who'd save you from your heroism then?"
Before I could get the last word in, Ervesa gave me a wave over her shoulder as she turned her back. I watched her grow smaller and smaller until the brownish-grey of her armour began to blend into the ash-grey of her surroundings, then turned to trudge back to the Temple.
Rescue a pilgrim from Ashlanders. Honestly.
I passed the morning at Tashpi's shell-house (about the size of Huleen's or Hanarai's, although standing in contrast to both of those in its tasteful decor and lack of both Daedra and nightmarish cannibalistic ash-statue cellars), shucking saltrice, sifting wickwheat, decanting beakers, heating roobrush pulp and listening to Tashpi explain why each of these steps was necessary. She proved not just an engaging conversationalist, but also an excellent teacher when she put her mind to it and a true expert when it came to potions for healing or curing poisons or illnesses – even if I did suspect her alchemical pursuits didn't range far beyond those. All in all, the morning passed in a pleasant haze of alchemy.
It also proved quite informative in other ways.
"Oh, Methal and his little games." Tashpi shook her head. "Although in truth, I shouldn't complain. There's enough in the higher ranks of any organisation, Temple included, who're bloated with their own importance and demanding all must bow and scrape to them. It makes a nice change to have one who'd just prefer to be treated like a novice fresh from the pilgrimages."
"So he's high-ranking, then?" I carefully let five drops of marshmerrow extract fall into my bubbling mixture. Given the far longer shelf life and greater efficacy of the extract, it was hardly a surprise Tashpi had opted for it over leaves or pulp, but its use did mean I had to be very precise with the amounts.
"Oh, yes. Diviner – a step above a Disciple, only below the Temple masters and the Archcanon himself."
I couldn't deny I'd suspected something of the sort, but the level still came as a shock. He outranked the woman who'd so coolly taken charge of me and Ervesa in Vivec?
"More to the point," Tashpi continued as she shifted her pestle from her right hand to her left, then continued grinding, "he's a master of Conjuration, and I mean that in the technical sense of the word."
Seriously? But...
So I didn't know much about Temple ranks, or how quickly people generally rose through them. I did, however, know some things about what it took to earn a magical mastery. The time period involved, among others. It being about a decade longer than Methal looked to have been alive.
"But he's so young!"
"Looks young," was Tashpi's correction. "But rumour has it he converted, oh, five or so decades ago, looking much as he does now." Her lips pursed. "Maybe he's lucky – some mers' aging begins to slow early, although his would be the earliest I've ever seen. Or maybe... well, not many people have a mastery in one school without also being near it in at least some of the others. Now, life-extension magics are a well-kept secret... but no one really knows who Methal was or what he was doing before he converted."
"Um." I licked my lips. For all that I'd worked out there was more to Methal than his first appearance, this still came as something of a surprise. "I... guess I should be more polite to him, then."
"Oh, don't worry about it. He's a decent sort, whatever came before. Likes being treated normally. And he can't very well complain about not being treated like a Diviner if he's actively pretending not to be one." Tashpi, who'd finished grinding wickwheat, stretched and then walked over to where I was keeping a careful eye on three simmering beakers. "This is good work," she said after her inspection. "Nice and precise, especially with the marshmerrow extract. Now, the next step in the process..."
I was happy enough to leave the topic of high-ranking Conjuration masters who liked mingling with us common rabble aside in favour of learning more about the tricks of brewing healing potions with Morrowind ingredients.
Of course, all good things must come to an end, and so it was that not long after our lunch of toasted bread with scuttle that a knock came on Tashpi's front door. The boy, perhaps nine or so years of age, opted to deliver his message in Dunmeris. Once he had gone, Tashpi translated.
"Seems some of our storm refugees from yesterday have fallen ill." Her face was unusually grim. "I was worried about this, but they all seemed fine when I looked in on them this morning and so I hoped... well, nothing for it. I'll have to go check up on them, and pray to my ancestors that it's not the Blight. I don't suppose you have healer's training, in addition to the alchemist's?"
I shook my head. "Just a minor self-healing spell, and I've barely used it." Perhaps she'd be willing to let me stay to continue brewing instead?
"Well, I'm sure Salen will have something for you to do," Tashpi said, dashing my hopes. I supposed it was too much to expect her to leave a near-stranger performing volatile, potentially explosive tasks in her home unsupervised. "Help carry my bag, will you?"
The afternoon was spent doing chores around the temple while avoiding the dremora and the sick ward. This was significantly less interesting than the morning – sweeping couldn't really compare to alchemy – but there was something of a bright side. During the times we were working side-by-side, Scarecrow decided to liven things up by attempting to teach me some basics of Dunmeris. By that evening, I'd learned such essentials as "hello", "thank you", "excuse me", and "my sincere apologies, good gentleperson, but I don't speak Dunmeris."
No silt-strider was spotted from Maar Gan that day.
The second day passed similarly, although with even less alchemy. Tashpi was still occupied in the sick ward, and although she didn't say a word about the illness her grim face made me suspect her fears had been realised. I kept my distance – the guar had been more than enough Blight disease for me – and hoped that any quarantine would confine itself to the sickroom and leave those of us in the rest of the Temple out of it.
In the meantime, my Dunmeris vocabulary expanded to introducing myself and talking about the weather. Scarecrow (whose name the lessons in introductions had proved to be Salen Ravel, but the nickname was now stuck in my head) praised my pronunciation, and also praised the cleanliness of the Temple. I suspected I'd removed years' worth of dust in some places.
No silt-strider made its way across the horizon that day either, and I could see worry in some of the faces at dinner.
After breakfast on the third day found me back in the storage room where I'd been staying. Although the first night after the storm I'd shared the glorified cupboard with three other storm refugees, they'd drifted away over the last few days – one finding a room in the tradehouse, the other two banding together with some of the other stranded pilgrims to travel together – and now it was just me again.
On the one hand, the space was welcome, never to mention not needing to sleep mere feet from the woman who I'd only ever be able to think of as The Snorer. On the other, the slow dispersal of all the others made me wonder if, with the unexpectedly long absence of the strider, I was also expected to find other accommodation – or worse, try to make my way back to Ald'ruhn on foot. That worry was one of the reasons I'd volunteered for cleaning duties.
Cleaning duties I was currently taking a break from. Scarecrow was across town meeting with the headsman of Maar Gan and hadn't suggested anything for me to do before he left. I'd have taken advantage of the unexpected reprieve, except that I also had nothing else to do.
Tashpi was still occupied in the sick room, face grimmer every time I saw her and lately half-covered by an enchanted cloth mask. Methal, too, was busy. Apparently he'd heard about my altercation with the Daedra somehow (I blamed Scarecrow, personally). Thankfully, he left off probing about what exactly had occurred when I made clear that I would not be answering any questions on the subject, thank you very much. Still, he professed himself concerned about the creature's misbehaviour and was now giving the spells that bound it harmlessly to this realm a closer look. Needless to mention, I was not going to be involving myself in that either.
I probably shouldn't mind being separated from Methal. His declared intention of converting me had been uncomfortable enough when I'd thought he was a perfectly ordinary person like me; knowing his true rank left me with a cold feeling in my stomach. I didn't like important people knowing who I was. I didn't like important people having plans involving me.
But truly, I told myself, what harm could he possibly be intending? Here in Morrowind I was no one. In Skyrim it might once have been otherwise, but of all the things Methal might still be hiding I doubted a connection to any of the Skyrim Thieves' Guilds was one. I was simply too unimportant to be more than a bit player in whatever scheme Methal might be running. This taken into account, Methal was at least fun to talk to, and – given that he'd probably forgotten more magic than I'd ever known – someone it might be very instructive for me to spend time with.
I sat down on the cot, kicking my boots off so I could stretch out my legs without needing to feel guilty. Pulling my pack up into my lap, I began to rifle through it in search of something – anything – to occupy my mind. Potions... a clean tunic...
I couldn't have considered bringing a book, could I?
More potions... a stack of linen pads... aha.
Cool crystal met my fingers. I pulled out the strange not-enchanted stone Methal had given me during the storm.
Possibly of Dwemer make, he'd said. That hadn't rung true to me at the time and still didn't now, although I didn't (yet) have any great expertise as far as the Dwemer went to support my intuition in the matter. Living in Markarth did not count, thank you Edwinna.
Letting my fingers trace the inscription on the crystal, I let my mind drift. For all my boredom, this was an excellent opportunity to think on things... particularly certain things I was usually too enmeshed in to be able to take a step back from. Stuck in Maar Gan with nothing to do and no one I knew around, I was able to look at things, I thought, a little more objectively.
The Mages' Guild was beginning to become a problem.
Trebonius with his Dwemer, Ranis Athrys and her mad plans involving the guild guide network... even Ajira and her flowers, much as I hated to think it. I'd hoped Edwinna would be better, but even if she hadn't intended it this errand of hers had certainly put me in harm's way. You'd think that an alchemist and aspiring mage would fit perfectly into the guild, but so far the main things I seemed to be gaining from the experience were completely unsuitable tasks often involving life-threatening danger, learning disabilities, no room for working on alchemy at all, and – of course – no steady income.
Should I let the guild go? Quit and strike out on my own? I was no longer as lost as in my first days in the island, I knew to make something of the native ingredients, I even had contacts of a sort. Tashpi had mentioned a not insignificant portion of her custom came from healing potions. If I kept an eye out for independent alchemists who could use an extra supplier... or apothecaries in need of steady custom...
But I liked the guild. Ajira, obviously, but also jesting with Marayn and Uleni over breakfast, trading barbs with Galbedir, helping Masalinie – being part of a community again, however frustrating it might sometimes prove. I'd been on my own since my time in Windhelm had come to such an abrupt and horrifying conclusion, and I was only now realising how much I'd missed being part of a group.
And... even if I could strike out on my own now, I hadn't been in any shape to do so when I'd arrived. The guild had taken me in, given me safe haven. Didn't I owe them something for that?
As my mind wandered, so did my magicka. Not really thinking about it, I began to probe the curious object in my hand. It wasn't enchanted, had no magicka of its own I could draw on, but there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Some trick to it...
You have to prime the spell, Divayth, feed it just a trickle... like so...
The first indication I had that I'd done something came when the cot vanished under me.
Luckily, I'd been sitting up, arms resting on my knees. As such, my skull did not make harsh and unexpected contact with the stone ground. That was where my luck ended, because my tailbone did and the resulting blaze of pain meant I was unable to think about my sudden displacement – or, for that matter, anything other than ow – for quite some time.
"Tulen, if this is supposed to be a joke, I'm not laughing," I growled when I could make noise other than whimpering. Scarecrow's son had made an appearance yesterday evening, and I for one heartily distrusted his blend of a love for practical jokes and minor skill at Alteration. "If you think vanishing occupied furniture is funny-"
I looked up, and my voice trailed off mid-sentence.
I was sitting on a raised platform in the middle of a large square windowless room made out of some dark stone. To either side were two lower platforms, each with a large crystal floating over it. Light danced through the air, slow-moving white sparks that arced upwards from one crystal to stream along the ceiling to the other. A vibrating hum rose from the ground into my bones.
In short, I was now in a place that didn't even remotely resemble the one I'd been in a minute ago.
I took a moment to soak in the sheer unfairness of the universe. I hadn't even been trying to teleport this time!
Leather shifted in my lap as I drew my legs under me. Apparently, although the cot hadn't made the journey with me, my pack was a different matter. And one thing I'd been smart enough to bring with me this time...
A matter of moments had the map unrolled, a few more and I'd mustered the necessary concentration to activate its enchantment. The glowing dot formed north-north-east of Maar Gan, halfway between it and the coast. It rested directly next to a tiny label. I brought the map right up to my face and read...
Falasmaryon.
"You have got to be kidding me," I said flatly.
Alas, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping very firmly that this was a dream did not have the hoped-for effect. Nor did repeating the operation. I grudgingly accepted that this was, in fact, happening, and levered myself to my feet.
Grit dug into my socks, and I remembered with a sinking feeling that I'd taken my boots off in order to relax on the bed.
I wasn't just stranded in the wilderness, I was stranded in the wilderness with no shoes.
Why did these things keep happening to me?
I rifled through my pack again, rather more desperately than I'd looked for something to occupy my mind earlier. The air had been crisp in the mornings of late, so I'd bought...
My new cloak was green wool, worn a little thin in places but still sinfully soft. It wouldn't have been warm enough for Windhelm but should, I'd judged from asking around, more than suffice for Vvardenfell unless I suddenly developed a burning desire to visit the northernmost, desolate Sheogorad region. I'd used the excuse of a near-invisible stain near the bottom and a mended hole at the shoulder to haggle Ra'Virr of the pawn shop down to five drakes for it and left well-pleased with my prize, secure in my preparations for winter.
Life makes fools of us all. I winced as I took out my knife and began cutting strips off my lovely new cloak.
Old memory rose around me as I worked. We'd been so poor, Charon and I, lost in Markarth after the Warp. To Edwinna, Markarth might be the Dwemer. To me Markarth was the Warrens, Markarth was shivering around a paltry fire in threadbare clothes as the blizzard howled outside, Markarth was payday on Fredas with each coin carefully scrimped and stretched through the week and yet my stomach gnawing at itself every Turdas all the same. Although Charon had chanced upon a holey, worn-out pair of boots deposited in the rubbish heap that could be salvaged, my narrow elven feet weren't so lucky. There hadn't been near enough money to pay a cobbler, so instead I'd tear old rags into strips and wrap them around my feet. I rather fancied I'd caught the trick to it, as time went on. At least, I'd never lost toes to frostbite... something not all of our neighbours had been able to say.
Feet firmly wrapped, I carefully made my way to the only door, leaving the weight of memory behind.
At first, I thought the door was locked. Then I put a bit more force into my push, and it came unstuck with a metallic screech – the sound, I suspected, of hinges that had not been required to do their job for centuries and were displeased at this sudden end to their vacation. Sunlight streamed in the open doorway, and I blinked, half-blinded after the dark.
For a moment I thought I saw a small sillhouette outlined against the glare, but when I blinked again it was gone.
I stepped out to find myself standing on a flat, tiled surface raised off the ground, having just exited from what looked like a tower. Across from me, another building rose from the plateau, to the right stairs led down to the ground. Everything was made from the same dark stone.
Especially combined with the ash-grey of our surroundings, it should probably have given the scene an ominous, oppressive feel. Instead, it felt... lonely, and not a little bit sad. Somehow, some part of me was convinced this place should be teeming with life, streams of people passing through the doors, a forest of yurts down below. Seeing it abandoned like this made my heart ache.
I shook my head to dismiss my flight of fancy. It was all well and nice to go visit an ancient Chimer fortress, but if it had truly been so necessary I could have made my own travel arrangements. I really hadn't needed to be deposited on top of one by yet another magical mishap, thank you universe.
Now, the question was – investigate, or leave?
On the one hand, Maar Gan was quite some distance away, the stretch between it and me most likely beset by wild beasts, Blighted creatures, bandits and other such unsavouries. It was not a trek I was looking forward to making on my lonesome.
On the other, given the nature of what lived in the wilderness, if there was anyone living in the building opposite they almost certainly wouldn't be friendly. Hadn't Ervesa said something about that, in fact?
Of course, I was – if I did say so myself – a highly accomplished pickpocket and sneak-thief. It wouldn't particularly matter whether any hypothetical inhabitants were friendly or not if they never learned I was there.
Also, they might have boots.
Still thinking about it, I began to approach the wooden doors. I'd taken only a few steps when I noticed something that made me stop.
Like most places in this area of the island, everything here was covered in a thin layer of ash... ash that made an excellent canvas for footprints. Mine were the only ones that approached the tower with the crystals (and I certainly hoped the single set of footprints leaving, with none entering, proved a mystery for any future visitors). In contrast, there was a clear track from the stairs to the entrance of the larger building. There was no question that it was inhabited.
But that wasn't what had made me stop.
What had made me stop was... well, I might be imagining things, seeing as I was hardly a trained tracker and there were a number of prints layered on top of each other, but...
Some of the footprints looked wrong.
And suddenly "ominous and oppressive" felt like a very accurate term for this place after all.
What in Onsi's name do you think you're doing, Adryn?
"Something very stupid, Charon," I whispered. "But I can take a hint when my mind decides to hit me over the head with it." I'd survived this far, I could survive a trek through the Ashlands, surely. And there were probably no shoes to be found in there anyway.
I was about to turn to leave when the door I'd been walking towards creaked open. The person that stepped out was...
Well. First of all, person was almost certainly the wrong word for it.
Most of it looked distinctly person-shaped, true. Two arms and legs, a bald head with pointed ears, skin the colour of the ash around us – or, in other words, the colour of my own. It could have been a Dunmer man, if one who'd apparently decided wandering around in a desolate region in nothing but a loincloth was appropriate... except for the face.
In the place where, on your average person, one might expect such features as eyes or a nose this creature sported a gaping, bloody hole. It stretched from one ear to another, began high on the forehead and ended just above thin lips, was in short large enough to make clear that the creature's skull was entirely hollow.
I'd never tease Varvur about not having a brain again.
The creature hissed and took a step forward, the horror that passed for its face turning from side to side as though seeking something. Despite the strong, nearly irresistible temptation to run screaming, or possibly bend over and vomit, I stayed very, very still.
This... thing... was almost certainly not friendly, and I didn't like my chances in a chase. However, although it seemed to suspect my presence, it certainly wasn't reacting as if it knew where I was. And, of course, it was glaringly, in fact grotesquely obvious that it was lacking anything one could recognise as eyes. If it was blind, reliant on hearing, then perhaps if I stayed very, very quiet...
Something crunched beneath a grey foot as the thing took another, hesitant step in my direction, head still swivelling. I held my breath as it stopped. It seemed confused.
There's no one here, I willed. You can't hear anything, go away, there's no one here...
After what felt like an eternity, the creature turned around. Dragging footsteps carried it back into the building, the door falling shut behind it with a loud thud. My lungs were beginning to burn, but I didn't dare exhale. I couldn't quite believe that had worked.
"Ni, vyn! Llon tetha!"
The hissed whisper came from my side. I whirled around, breath leaving me in a gasp.
The man standing in the shadow of the tower I'd emerged from was wearing chitin armour, the same as I'd seen Ervesa don that morning. He'd left off the helm, which meant I could easily see that he (Nine be praised) had all the facial features one would expect in the appropriate locations. He held a bow with an arrow nocked, but the string was relaxed, the arrow pointing at the ground.
He frowned at whatever he saw on my face. "Outlander." His voice had the heaviest accent I'd heard yet in Morrowind. "Get over here. Before it comes back."
He didn't have to tell me twice.
The man, who tersely introduced himself as one Missun Akin, led me to a small yurt made of chitin, bone and guarhide hidden between tumbled boulders in the shadow of the fortress. I hadn't exactly grown up around nomads – the Skyrim climate wasn't particularly suited to the lifestyle – so it surprised me how homely and familiar the little tent felt. Perhaps it was a matter of contrast. After all, in comparison to the fortress and its inhabitants, a wind-scoured crag of rock would qualify as welcoming.
If so, my companion was probably similar. Akin struck me as dour, his responses curt and his glances at me definitely disapproving. If I'd met him in Balmora, or Ald'ruhn, we would probably not have gotten on. In Falasmaryon, such details of attitude were minor foibles, too trivial to consider, compared to the fact that he clearly shared my beliefs regarding the possession of facial features.
He also gained points for the way he'd stopped after closing the yurt's entrance-flap to whisper a word that made green light flash in its corners. After a moment's reflexive terror, I recognised a Muffle enchantment. Given the sort of things that were out and about here, making sure our voices wouldn't carry was an example of good sense I felt I could get behind.
"Here." A flask was thrust my way. "Drink."
I found myself obeying blindly, all alchemical curiosity – as well as worry about the contents – burned away by shock. My hands were still shaking.
Luckily for courtesy (in the form of me not spitting out a gift of hospitality), it wasn't alcohol. Rather, it was some chilled tea. Tongue-curlingly bitter – there was definitely scathecraw in there – it was nevertheless refreshing... and, more importantly, calming. If Ajira and I hadn't already worked out that scathecraw was a mental restorative, this would have proved it. After only a few gulps, my racing heart slowed. A few more, and the tremor that had seized me was easing.
The mer watched me drink with an inscrutable expression. "I am used to outlanders being stupid," he said after some moments, "but exploring Falasmaryon after an ash storm, this is stupid enough to come as a surprise. You have no idea how lucky you were. What were you even thinking?"
"It wasn't exactly intentional." My feeling of friendship, comraderie and brotherhood among all people who believed in cranial organs had definitely been dented by that remark. "It was a teleportation accident," oh, and I really wanted to never need to say those words ever again. "I was studying a magical item and suddenly- poof! I was sitting in the middle of that big crystal chamber."
"Ah." There was a definite thaw in Akin's gaze (easily visible due to him possessing that most wondrous of things, eyes). "Interesting. I have wondered about that chamber, and there are tales told of the ancestors travelling between fortresses in the blink of an eye. I would ask you for details, except," his voice grew dry, "that the ash monsters make any such travel too unsafe to risk at the moment."
"Believe me, I noticed." Then, proving I'd not had enough horror for the day, I asked, "Ash monsters?"
"It is what we Velothi call them. They have begun appearing, in caves and fortresses and hidden places deep in the Ashlands. When I learned that Falasmaryon had been infested, I decided to investigate to see if I could discover the cause."
Akin held out a hand. After a moment, I realised what he wanted and handed back the flask. He took a long drink, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
I wasn't sure how I felt about the fact that this hard-bitten man clearly felt he needed fortification to continue talking about this. A wise person would almost certainly stop asking now. Alas for me, my allotted portion of wisdom had been replaced by more curiosity at birth. "And? What did you find out?"
Mere minutes later, I knew that although I was lacking in wisdom, I could at least boast of some foresight. I had been absolutely right: I should definitely have stopped asking.
According to Akin, people sometimes came to the fortress. Regular people, like him and me, in possession of all their facial features. They had certain commonalities, though. For instance, they all – even the ones whose fine clothing proclaimed them nobles – looked to have come a long distance, on foot, through the ash. And they moved as though sleep-walking, taking no notice of Akin at all.
They entered the fortress. What left was... different.
"You are telling me," I said flatly, "that that thing used to be a person. One who, what, gouged out his own brain?"
How I wished that question was sarcastic. Alas, I meant it sincerely, and Akin answered it the same way.
"As far as I can tell, yes. At the start the hole only encompasses the eyes... and judging by the marks, yes, the afflicted tear them out themselves. It becomes larger until the upper half of the face is entirely gone. At that point, an appendage grows out of the cavity, similar to a netch's limb." Akin was looking at the flask as though wishing it held alcohol. "I would like to believe that is the final stage, but I doubt it. Once, from a distance, I saw a great robed being with many tentacles for a face. The growths looked... familiar."
"I am never eating again." Also, I cursed my vivid imagination. An uncreative mind sounded like an excellent thing right now.
"You were very lucky, you know. The state you saw is the one in which the creature is most unaware of its surroundings. They begin to gain magical senses soon after. I myself have had a few close calls with the later stages. If it had been one of those that went to investigate..."
I decided not to think about that possibility. Instead, I asked, "Have you informed the Temple about any of this? It seems to be connected to some things they're looking into. Strange statues ensorcelling people, controlling them to act against their nature... this might very well be where that leads."
For a moment, I forgot all the trouble the whole thing had caused me and was simply glad I'd chosen to help Varvur. Although (I couldn't lie) he was indeed ugly enough to make small children run crying, he'd look even worse with a trunk growing out of his face.
Akin scowled. It was an impressive expression. I inched backwards.
"You are an outlander," he said after a moment. "I suppose you cannot help being ignorant, so I will not take offense. But you had best learn quickly, because I am among the few that would not. Know this: the Temple is no friend to the Velothi."
The Temple is not your friend, you stupid creature-
I pushed the dremora's words out of my mind.
"Um. Would you mind elaborating? Because I promise no offense was intended, and I'd like to avoid similar... accidents in the future."
Akin looked at me for a long moment as if gauging my sincerity. I made sure to keep meeting his eyes, expression open and earnest. Personally, I thought it would be really nice if I could stop insulting people when I wasn't actively trying. Past experience also told me this feat would probably require divine intervention, but I could at least try.
"Very well. An outlander who wishes to learn is a rare thing. One must make the most of it."
Which was how I found myself getting a crash course in the culture of the Velothi tribes – Ashlanders, the settled ones called us, as if we choose to live in the desolate regions – and their interactions with the Tribunal Temple. Honestly, it sounded much like many stories of a poor culture trying to eke out an existence against a dominant majority. It reminded me of some of the stories Charon had told of life in the Alik'r, or the treatment of Reachmen in Markarth and its surroundings. The Morrowind version seemed to come with a side of religious oppression, and of course unlike in the Reach all involved were the same race, but the common themes were undeniable.
Although for all my world-weary cynicism, the matter sat badly with me – as though something within me rebelled at the thought of (the Chimer) the Dunmer thus divided.
I shook off the strange feeling and focused on things I had a slightly larger chance of influencing. "All right, I get that you don't like the Temple, and for good reason. But isn't this," I waved a hand in the general direction of the fortress, "grounds to put aside your grudges for the time being? I mean, there's some kind of malignant force ensorcelling people and turning them into twisted monstrous horror-things straight from Vaermina's realm. This sounds like a case for allying against a common threat, no matter what went before."
(A smoky room full of bearded faces watching me with suspicion, a gigantic hand engulfing my own-)
"I admire your optimism." All right, that officially made it the first time anyone had said those words to me. I felt vaguely insulted. "For myself, history tells me that if a Velothi goes to the priests bearing tales of such corruption, it does not go well for the Velothi."
"What about an outlander? Because if you don't mind, I am planning to make a line straight back to Maar Gan and spill this story to some priests I know. Er- long story, but I got tangled up in the ash statues on the other end of this in Ald'ruhn and should have some contacts and goodwill to call on from that experience. In Redoran as well," I spoke as the thought occurred to me. "I'm pretty sure Athyn Sarethi would be extremely interested to learn of this. I can keep your name out of it, of course."
Akin was looking at me as though he'd never quite seen anything like me before. "You have... interesting friends, outlander. The assouribael in Urshilaku have spoken well of the current clan-head of Sarethi. Very well, then."
He gave a stately nod as though granting me permission to discuss the matter. It was all for the best, considering that I'd been planning to do so regardless of his opinion.
After all, I liked to think of myself as in possession of a healthy dose of sanity, and doing anything other than running screaming to the nearest... actually, to every single person I felt able and willing to do something about this would thoroughly disprove that fact. Still, I felt it best to leave Akin the impression his disapproval would have made a difference. We were getting on so unusually well, it was a state of affairs I'd like to see continue.
"I suggest you leave soon, if you wish to make it to Maar Gan before nightfall," Akin said. "The creatures do not venture from Falasmaryon on a clear day. During storms, or in the dark, is a different matter."
I sighed. Part of me had been hoping... but Akin didn't sound inclined to escort me, and I wasn't inclined to ask.
"You're right. No point in wasting daylight. Um..." I stared at my ash-covered feet. "I don't suppose you could lend me a pair of shoes?"
Unfortunately for my soles, Akin could not. I must have looked so pathetic at that revelation that he did take pity on me; no shoes were to be had, but he gave me some dried jerky and a waterskin to tide me over. He also mentioned that I might run into some cousins of his on the way to Maar Gan... although from his words, I wasn't sure if that qualified as a good thing.
"Fools. Harmless fools, at least. They may posture, seek to intimidate you. Pay them no heed." He looked me over for a moment, then sighed. "Although... they are not fond of the settled people, nor of outlanders, and young enough to be idiots about it. Tell them Missun permitted you to pass, if they decide to bare their teeth at you. That should serve to deflate them."
Thus warned, I left the little yurt along with the monster-ridden fortress looming over it behind me.
Walking through fresh ash was similar to doing so through loose snow: exhausting, each step a fight as I sunk in deep and needed to pull hard to free my foot again. In another situation, I might have considered going slowly, taking regular breaks to keep my strength up.
I liked the sound of that alternate situation, truth be told. Alternate Adryn had probably found herself in the middle of the Ashlands, nowhere near any buildings, no clue what sort of spell she'd dodged. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't the situation I was in, and for all Akin's words about how they stayed close to the fortress I wanted to get as much distance between myself and the things at Falasmaryon as possible. And so I struggled on, put foot in front of foot and ignored the burning in my thighs with the grim determination that comes with suppressed terror.
I'd have worried about losing my boots to the ash-drifts, but – of course – I wasn't wearing any. Silver linings, I supposed.
Another silver lining: at least the ash was comparatively warm. I wouldn't be losing toes to frostbite today, either, even if I suspected I'd never quite get the grit out from between them after this trip.
Time passed. I crested one hill, then another, then another. The sun rose higher in the sky, setting the wastes ablaze in light. My legs stayed at a steady throb, but I stumbled on despite them. My stomach began to growl, and I thought of the jerky Akin had given me as I left. It had been a kind gift, truly, considering that the man clearly didn't have much to his name. It also hadn't been very much – I'd finished it before I was even out of sight of the yurt. Why hadn't I packed something to eat?
Oh, because I hadn't planned to leave Maar Gan. I'd been debating even leaving the Temple.
I finally stopped for a breather beneath an old, dead tree. It was one of many that dotted the landscape.
This land must have been different, once – greener, lightly forested, with some semblance of plant and animal life. Now, it was ghostly quiet. I hadn't realised how much I took a certain level of background noise for granted until it was gone. The hum of activity in a city, birdsong in the wilderness, the lapping of waves at the shore. The closest I'd come to this desolation were the few times I'd been up in the mountains in midwinter, but even then... Skyrim in winter was a world in deep sleep. This land was closer to dead.
There weren't even any animals – fortunate, admittedly, since I hadn't been looking forward to tangling with cliff racers, guar, or kagouti, but disturbing nonetheless. Especially seeing as I knew I'd spotted some from the silt strider to Maar Gan. Perhaps they avoided the region around Falasmaryon, just as I was trying to do.
The advantage of the dead landscape, of course, was that with the skies clear and no forest to get in the way, I could see for miles. The brooding shape of Falasmaryon lay far, far behind me, nearly hidden behind a hill. And – Nine be praised – there was no sign of pursuit.
From that point on, I walked more slowly, even stopping on occasion to pick ingredients. As though the land wished to prove to me that it was not, in fact, dead, I passed scathecraw, fire fern, and a dark, thorny curling vine that I recognised as the trama root I'd chopped for yesterday's soup. Given that I knew for a fact it was edible when cooked – and that I was starving – I decided to experiment with my Firebite spell. The result was a little more charred than I'd have liked, but I managed to swallow it down and it soothed my rumbling stomach well enough.
Of course, I made sure to leave some of the root for later, alchemical use. I remembered from my work with Ajira that it was quite a useful ingredient, with not just a restorative effect that made it a prime candidate for the standard shock remedy but also forming part of the recipe for the levitation potion that had saved me in Arkngthand.
I really hoped I'd still be able to indulge in experimentation with Ajira, now that I was nominally a Dwemer scholar of the Ald'ruhn guild.
And that brought me right back to the thoughts I'd been wrestling with before my unplanned and unwanted displacement. Should I leave the guild?
No, I decided. For all that I was frustrated with how things had gone, I wasn't yet ready to give up on it. This excursion had been somewhat enlightening on that matter. I found myself missing the companionship with an ache so fierce it surprised me.
Besides, I'd just proved pretty thoroughly that I didn't need help to get myself into life-threatening situations.
Some time later, my ingredient vials were nearing full, the sun said it was nearing mid-afternoon, the landscape that I was about to enter a gorge, my map that this gorge was the Foyada Bani-Dad and that from here it wasn't far to Maar Gan, and I was suddenly hearing voices.
Voices speaking Dunmeris, from the sounds of it. My paltry knowledge of the language told me they probably weren't introducing themselves.
With a frown, I sent my magical senses spiralling outwards. My latest brush with teleportation misfortune had left me more aware of the dangers of doing so, but my Detection spells were so handy I wasn't willing to forgo them. I'd just have to be careful to steer them well clear of any crystals I might encounter – certainly of the one tucked into my pack.
Four people, one a little further than the other three, all a short distance ahead. I was still hidden from view, but would be in full sight once I rounded the next bend. More, the path descended steeply here as it met the foyada, cutting through a slope that could almost be termed a cliff – there was no way to avoid it. A quick consultation of my map proved there was no decent alternative route, either, not unless I felt like backtracking almost all the way to Falasmaryon.
Well. I'd have to hope that it was truly the cousins Akin had mentioned, and that they were as harmless as first promised.
I rounded the bend to see the path widen to a broad ledge. Scathecraw and trama bushes grew thick and heavy in the shadow of the hill, a veritable little grove that, combined with the sound of trickling water, pointed to a spring nearby. A yurt was tucked amidst the bushes, with three Dunmer – two men and a women – standing in front of it. All three were wearing what I recognised as netch leather armour, with the scarves and goggles of people who spent time in the Ashlands. More worryingly, all three were armed – a spear propped in arms'-reach here, a strung bow slung across the other's back, and of course sheathed daggers hung at all three belts.
They looked up as I approached. I was still too far distant to tell, but I hoped very hard said looks were friendly.
"Outlander!" the largest man called, then turned to his companions. "Look, Rasamsi, I told you word would get around and someone would come." Then, back to me, "You are here to pay the ransom, yes?"
"...ransom?" I hoped I didn't sound as utterly befuddled as I felt. Whatever I'd been expecting, this wasn't it.
The man shook his finger at me. "Ha, you pretend ignorance! A clever strategy, but I am cleverer." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the woman close her eyes as if in despair.
Don't argue with armed men, Adryn. "I'm sure you are," I offered, trying my very hardest to be diplomatic. "And I'm sure you won't mind telling me about this ransom, right? I somehow seem to have failed to hear of it, and I'm certain it's a very clever scheme indeed."
The second man's eyes narrowed, but the speaker's chest puffed up. I mentally dubbed him Peacock. I'd seen one once, in the menagerie attached to the Blue Palace (which I'd been passing through on perfectly legitimate business, thank you very much), and the way this man strutted reminded me very much of the bird showing off its plumed tail.
"I, the great Manat Shimmabadas," I silently tried that last name on for size and decided he could stay Peacock, "have taken a Redoran noble captive!"
"He was wandering lost and alone, with an ash storm on the way," the second man chimed in. "We rescued him, you should say. Sheltered him, gave him of our food and water. It's only right we should be rewarded for our work."
I cocked an eyebrow. That story was... odd. "A Redoran noble was wandering alone in the Ashlands? No guards?"
"See," the woman burst out, as though the words had been piling up inside her and couldn't be held back anymore, "even the outlander can smell the stink here! Manat, I told you-"
"Shut up, Rasamsi," Peacock said. There was an intonation to his words that made me think he said this (or the Dunmeris equivalent) a lot. "Obviously she is here to pay the ransom, and trying to cast doubt on his story so we let him go cheaply. Alas for her, I am too smart for such tricks! I could not consider letting the noble go for less than twenty septims."
Twenty. Septims.
Twenty septims?
Well, if it really was a noble they'd caught, it wasn't as unreasonable as it sounded. Twenty septims was probably pocket change to the likes of Athyn or Varvur Sarethi. Alas for Peacock, I really wasn't here to rescue anyone, and two thousand drakes was wildly beyond my paltry means.
"Somehow," the woman snapped, "I think if she were on an errand of rescue she would be wearing shoes."
I decided I liked her. She had sense, something that was clearly in short supply around here.
"A clever disguise, no doubt, just as the noble's. Meant to make us believe her poor, into lowering the ransom out of pity. Alas for your plan, I am too smart to be tricked so!"
Right.
"Um." I doubted Peacock would let me just walk past; no doubt he'd consider it another trick he was too clever to fall for.
Besides, if he really had kidnapped a noble, there might be opportunity there, I told myself. Athyn Sarethi had been grateful enough when I'd interceded for Varvur. Perhaps this time I'd be able to get a reward in the form of shiny coin.
"Could I have a word with your captive in private?"
Peacock hesitated.
"You can't possibly expect me to go on your word alone, with no proof of life or health. For all I know, you're not holding anyone captive at all. I need a bit more than that if you want me to even consider paying a ransom. And, of course, assurances of good treatment on your part... the kind I cannot possibly obtain with you listening in." Then, although it made me feel vaguely ill to say, "Come now, you're clearly an intelligent man. You must understand how these things work."
A muffled snort from the woman.
Peacock, bless him, fell for it completely. "Of course, of course. As you say, this is how these things work. I am quite experienced in these matters. Come, Rasamsi, Adairan, let us let the outlander and our guest have their chat."
I ducked inside a yurt for the second time today. This one was larger than Akin's, containing not just the bed-rolls and spread woven rugs I'd also seen there but scattered cushions, standing screens of wood and stretched hide, even a low table. This was a more permanent structure, I judged, erected by people who expected to be staying here for a while. In contrast, Akin's had been ready to tear down at a moment's notice, proof of his precarious existence in the shadow of Falasmaryon's monsters.
Also unlike Akin's, this yurt contained a captive.
He sat on the ground, knees brought up to his chest, staring at the floor. Rope was looped around his ankles, more tied his hands behind his back. His captors, I noted with a critical eye, had not had much experience tying people up and had tried to make up for lack of skill with enthusiasm. Unsuccessfully so; I could have twisted my way out of those bonds. The man hadn't, but I supposed nobility didn't generally bother with lessons in escapology.
If he was a noble at all.
Looking at him, I found myself drawing a different conclusion. The clothes were fine, yes, but merchant-making-a-decent-living-fine, journeyman-of-a-craft-fine, not nobility-fine. Linen, not silk; embroidery done in cotton thread, not gold or silver; no rare dyes nor gemstones to be seen. It was clothing of the sort I'd owned back in Skyrim for the occasions when I needed to dress up. Varvur, I suspected, would turn his nose up at it.
I must have made a sound, because the man looked up to see me in the doorway. The expression of hope on his face tugged at my heart.
"Please! Help me! Rescue me from these savages. They've held me captive for two days." I must not have looked as enthusiastic as he'd have liked, because he added, "I'm a noble of House Redoran. I promise you'll be well-rewarded."
"Uh-huh." My voice was flat. "A noble. I'd definitely be interested to hear you explain why you're wearing merchant clothes, and why you were wandering the Ashlands alone."
There was a frantic flicker in the man's eyes, but his voice didn't even tremble as he said, "I was travelling in disguise. My house has many enemies, when venturing into dangerous lands it is best not to do so openly."
Smooth. I was reluctantly impressed.
Not that that would stop me from needling him further. "Oh? I didn't realise Redoran honour bent far enough to allow for such practicalities. I thought you lot demanded one stomp straight into the ambush, shouting for your cowardly foes to show themselves."
The corner of the "noble"'s mouth twitched before he could stop himself. Ha! He thought it was funny too.
"Ah, I realise my... fellow Redoran may not always give that impression, but there is room for subtlety in our ethos. You should look into Dravon Indarys' Tactics and Strategy at some point, it sheds a lot of light on the philosophy of the house – and it's written by a mer beyond reproach, one widely considered to be one of the greatest Redoran has ever produced."
Really.
I let my voice drop into a whisper. "Look, this is all well and good, and I have to say I admire your improvisation skills immensely. If you ever choose to follow a career in acting, please do let me know, I'd love to see the performance. However, can you drop the lies for a minute? That boy out there is demanding a ransom of twenty septims for his high-ranking captive, and I think we both know no such fee will be forthcoming. I need you to be honest with me if I'm going to get you out of here in one piece."
I spent a moment to wonder at the fact that while I was distracted by my admiration of the man's ability to spin a lie, my subconscious had evidently decided that I was, indeed, going to do my level best to rescue him, my complete unsuitability for the task, the fact that I'd never even met him before today, and the fact that I was currently in the process of fleeing a fortress full of twisted monsters notwithstanding.
Somehow, I was sure, this was Athyn Sarethi's fault.
The man pinned me with a suspicious, narrow-eyed gaze. For a moment, I thought he was going to stick with his story. Then I saw him glance out the open entrance-flap, apparently making sure none of his three captors were in earshot. Upon seeing they were occupied at the campfire, he deflated.
"You're right, of course." His voice was so soft I could barely hear him. "I'm Beden of clan Giladren. We're no nobility – I'm a glassblower journeyman from Vivec." Called it with the clothing – it was nice to know that despite the change in location, I hadn't lost my eye for value. "I was on a pilgrimage to the shrine at Maar Gan, got turned around... next thing I know, I have three Ashlanders pointing their spears at me. I panicked. I thought they'd kill me unless I gave them a reason to think I'd be worth more alive. My master's shop is in Redoran canton and he has a lot of noble patrons, I figured I could ape them well enough... worked swimmingly, as you can see, but I didn't quite think it through."
I couldn't stop the surge of empathy that swept through me. This sounded like the sort of fix I might get myself into. Matters weren't helped when he added, "For what it's worth, I did mean it about Indarys' book – it's engagingly written, and a very interesting glimpse into the different schools of thought one can find in Redoran. I'd recommend it to anyone who needs to interact with the house."
A fellow bookworm, too. I could almost find it in myself to forgive him for getting himself kidnapped and leaving me to sort the mess out.
"Tell you what, you can lend me your copy as thanks once we get out of this." I frowned. "Now, let me think..."
Chapter 19: Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Text
"Hi. Rasamsi, wasn't it?" I gave the Velothi woman I'd managed to catch alone my best, most charming smile. Judging by her unimpressed stare back, it was unsuccessful.
"What is it, outlander? Here to negotiate?"
All right, I'd been very accommodating, but enough was enough. Beden would have to allow for a minor digression. "Just for the record, I have a name, and it's not 'outlander'. It's Adryn. Foundling, no clan," I added hastily, remembering the caravaneer two days ago. I really didn't need more misunderstandings regarding my lack of a family name.
And yes, that was pity in those eyes. I was sure the tendency of Morrowind natives to treat my existence like some horrific tragedy could be useful, but at the moment it mainly smarted.
"...fair enough. Rasamsi of clan Esurarnat, of the Urshilaku. Well met." Case in point: I doubted she'd have been as civil a minute ago.
"Isn't it nice when we're all polite and introduce ourselves like civilized people." I spotted Rasamsi's eye twitch and decided I shouldn't overdo it. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about your captive."
"And what do you want to say about the most illustrious son of House Redoran?"
I paused for a moment. If she hadn't already guessed...
What was I even thinking? Of course she'd already guessed. The sarcasm in that sentence had been so thick it was almost visible.
"I think," I said quietly, "we both know he's no such thing."
Rasamsi let out a groan of pure relief, as though I'd lifted a weight she'd been carrying for too long. "Ah. Thank you, outl- Adryn," she hastily corrected herself. "It is such a pleasure to deal with people who have a brain again. Sadly, neither of my cousins qualify."
A gaping hole where the creature's – the person's, once upon a time – eyes should be...
As my stomach twisted, I really hoped that one day I'd be able to take that expression as innocently as it was meant again.
"So," I prompted, "I guess you know a twenty-septim ransom won't be forthcoming, not for a glassblower from Vivec."
"Glassblower? I suppose that explains the strange powders he had with him." Rasamsi sounded happy at a mystery resolved. "And I told Manat his ransom was an idiot idea and we should just kill the man, but it's always shut up, Rasamsi, you don't know anything, Rasamsi..."
I swallowed. All of a sudden, Rasamsi no longer seemed so down-to-earth and likeable. "Kill him?"
Rasamsi threw me an exasperated look. "Well, obviously it would have been better to send him off after the storm passed, but what else are we supposed to do with him now? If we let him go, he'll run to Maar Gan Temple bleating about dangerous Ashlanders holding him captive... and we all know how they'll respond. I have no intention of dying at the hands of the zebdusinael because my cousin is an idiot."
The worst thing was, after Akin's lesson on the history between the Velothi tribes and the Tribunal temple, I couldn't even tell her such an idea was ridiculous. Even if I still strenuously objected to her proposed solution.
More to the point, I thanked the Divines and – getting in the Morrowind style of things – my anonymous ancestors for the fact that our bonding over Peacock's idiocy meant Rasamsi was thinking of me on her side... as opposed to another outsider who could run 'bleating to the Temple', as she'd put it.
"For what it's worth," I chose my words carefully, "Beden seemed reasonable, and honestly more embarrassed about how he got himself into this mess than anything else." I let the name fall deliberately – the more I could do to make his would-be murderer remember that he was a living, breathing person with dreams and hopes of his own, the better. "If he's also grateful to me for rescuing me, I'm pretty sure I can talk him into an... alternate version of events, one that leaves out certain ill-advised decisions. Perhaps," I was thinking out loud, "he was ill, or injured, after the ash storm, and a gracious – no, heroic – group of Velothi found him and nursed him back to health."
Rasamsi looked as though she wanted to be convinced but hadn't quite managed it. "I like the sounds of that. But I don't like the sounds of pretty sure. What are we supposed to do if he doesn't go along with your idea?"
"Well... you could always move? Hard for them to kill you if they can't find you." An idea shot through my head. "Maybe in the direction of Falasmaryon. I met someone there who said he was a relative of yours, and he could probably use some support. And I guarantee you that any Temple warriors at Falasmaryon will have more important things to worry about than P- your idiot cousin."
"Falas-" For the first time, I saw Rasamsi lose her air of world-weary cynicism. In its place, blank shock spread over her face. "Missun. You're talking about Missun." She moved forward like a striking snake – before I could react, my wrist was caught in a firm grasp. "You've seen him. Spoken to him. Is he all right? Is he injured?"
I stayed silent in favour of staring pointedly at the unwelcome and uninvited source of physical contact. If we were to have civil conversation and exchange of information, no manhandling had better be involved.
For a moment, Rasamsi's grip tightened. A chill raced up my spine, anxiety rising with it. Had I pushed her too far? We'd been friendly enough so far, but at the end of the day I was still an outlander, an interloper. There was nothing preventing Rasamsi from treating me the same as Beden... or, worse, the way she'd have liked to treat Beden.
Then she let go. When I looked up, I saw that a flush stained her cheeks purple. Embarrassment at her own behaviour, I hoped. I did my best not to let my own relief show.
"He seemed well enough, and uninjured," I said once it was clear that my personal space would be staying free from invasion again. "Mind you, I personally am not sure how long such a state of affairs might last, considering he's staying right next to a fortress of twisted monsters." I shuddered. I'd have liked to pretend the movement was an act, one to help sell Akin's dire situation and need for help. Alas, it was all real – I suspected it would be quite some time until I could talk about Falasmaryon and keep an even expression.
Rasamsi spat a curse. "Idiot man. He's as bad as Manat in his own way. Ancestors' gift to archery he may be, Sul-Senipul come again, but last I checked that didn't make him invincible!" Her breath hissed between her teeth. "I told Manat we should go to Falasmaryon to help. Wonder of wonders, he was actually listening to me for once! But then the so-called noble stumbled upon us, and Manat had one of his brilliant ideas, and we've been sitting here ever since."
"So..." I hazarded, "I take it you'd be willing to let said so-called noble go? Seeing as you'd be able to move on to help your cousin, and any Temple force that reaches Falasmaryon will definitely have other things to worry about than a group of Velothi who've learned their lesson and won't be kidnapping anyone again, right?"
"Me?" Rasamsi sighed. "Yes... I guess it'd be fine by me. But in case it escaped you, I'm not exactly the hunt-leader of this little party. Adairan will go along with whatever Manat says... and Azura only knows what it'll take to get my idiot cousin to let go of this nonsense about a ransom."
My stomach sank. "I... take it simply telling him Beden's not a noble won't end well."
"He won't believe you. He'll claim you're trying to trick him, or something." Rasamsi's voice was gloomy, and heavy with the weight of experience. "It wouldn't even be so bad if he simply accepted he was an idiot, you know? Adairan's no trouble if you separate them – he knows he's not the sharpest arrow in the quiver and is happy to follow the people he thinks are more intelligent. Unfortunately for me, for some reason Manat is at the top of that list. And Manat has to try to be clever."
"Hmm..." I let the sound trail off as I considered what Ingerte would do in my situation. (I steadfastly refused to think would have done).
Although Peacock did indeed sound infuriating to deal with, and I scarcely wanted to imagine what it must have been like to grow up with him, looking at the whole thing from the outside in it didn't seem nearly as hopeless as Rasamsi was making it out. The direct route was obviously out, but... he wanted to be clever, he wanted to feel as though he'd triumphed over an opponent by his wits alone. There were definitely ways to use that.
Ingerte would already have come up with half a dozen at this point, I was sure. I wasn't her, so I could only boast one.
"Can you tell me more about what you found in Beden's belongings?"
"Hmm. You have an idea, outl- Adryn. I'm curious what it is." A pause as Rasamsi's expression changed, brows drawing together. "But before I tell you, answer a question for me."
"Oh?"
"How on Nirn did you end up in Falasmaryon with no shoes?"
"So, outlander! You have seen that we truly hold our captive just as we said. Now, are you ready to pay the ransom?"
I turned to face Peacock, dredging up every shred of acting skill I'd ever had as I did so. It had never been my strong point, I was forced to admit – my face was a little too expressive, never to mention that I was a little too prone to blurting out what I was thinking at inopportune moments. Back in Windhelm, Ingerte – who could have convinced a Stendarrite to make an offering to Sheogorath – had taken point on any smooth-talking required. Still, I was hardly hopeless, as Arkngthand should have proved.
Besides, it wasn't as if I was facing fierce competition here.
"Of course, however... I'm afraid I really don't have the money on me. His family wanted confirmation of the story first, before they sent someone into the wilderness with a fortune." I noticed Peacock's brows drawing together and decided to try the magic words. "They figured it was the smart thing to do – I'm sure you understand."
Peacock's expression cleared. "Naturally, naturally! I expected as much, in fact."
Of course you did. "They would, however, obviously be willing to send me back with the ransom if I bring them proof he is here. Such as..." Now for the tricky part. "The guarhide bag he was carrying. Its contents should suffice. Not that they're valuable!"
The last sentence had been spoken with haste, my tongue stumbling over the words, my eyes wide and panicked. Anyone smarter than Varvur should become suspicious at this point, a group I fully expected to encompass the vast majority of the population of Vvardenfell – animals included. Alas for me, Peacock did not seem to be among their number, because he was nodding, mouth already opening to agree-
Thankfully for both me and Beden, Rasamsi got there first.
"The bag with the strange powders, outlander? The ones none of us could identify?"
"Strange- the powders, yes!" I forced a nervous laugh. It came very easily, given the situation. "But- but they are ordinary powders, nothing unusual or valuable about them at all, of course."
Help came from an unexpected quarter. The third Velothi, who'd been listening to this with a growing frown, interrupted.
"If they're so ordinary, 'fraid I don't see how the bag's to prove we have the man captive. Shouldn't you need something like..." his brow furrowed. "A ring, or an amulet, or a lock of hair? That's how it goes in the stories, right?"
Yes, because the stories are definitely a good guide to how things work in reality.
I didn't say it. Instead, I let a hunted expression spread on my face, my eyes dart back and forth. "Ah... well... um..." When my glance passed Peacock, I saw that he was leaning forward, his own eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Well, finally.
"I think," he purred, "that you are trying to slip something past us, outlander. Foolishly so, for – after all – I am Manat Shimmabadas, known throughout the Ashlands for my cunning mind." My eyes met Rasamsi's at that moment, and I had to bite my cheek in order not to laugh. Judging by her expression, that was not what he was known for.
Now, for the next part of the act.
I sighed, let my shoulders fall, did everything I could to project an aura of defeat. "All right, you caught me. Should have known better than to try. I'm really interested in those powders."
"Why? And what about the ransom?" Rasamsi picked up the cue.
"Oh, no one was going to be paying that. He's not a noble, you see."
Careful, now. I could see Peacock's expression begin to close off. This next part would be delicate.
"It was all a front for smuggling Alinorean glow-dust to Gnisis. Very rare." I let my nose wrinkle slightly as I looked at Peacock, allowed a sliver of contempt to seep into my voice. "I don't expect any of you to have heard of it."
Peacock, Nine bless him and his predictable nature, fell for it hook, line and sinker. "What? I- oh no! Alinorean glow-dust, of course I know of it. From... from the Summerset Isles, yes?"
Congratulations, you know basic geography. "Yes, that's exactly it," I said, making sure to widen my eyes as though in amazement. "I see I really shouldn't underestimate you. Well, I'm sure you'll know then that it's highly sought-after, goes for ten whole septims the ounce on the black market. Empire's cracked down on the trade, but we have a buyer in Gnisis, just had to get the goods through the wilderness... we figured that if anyone looked through the pilgrim disguise, they'd be fooled by the Redoran noble act. Of course, we didn't realise we'd be running into such a clever adversary as you. Why, you must have seen right through it."
In Peacock's eyes, I saw a brief battle between truth and pride. Truth lost decisively.
"I- yes, of course I did! Obviously, I knew from the start the so-called Redoran noble was no such thing." There was a choking sound from Rasamsi's direction at this blatant and shameless fabrication. I wished I was standing closer to her so I could step on her foot. "I, I simply wished to see what would turn up. No man would simply pretend to be a noble, after all! Clearly there was something bigger afoot."
Oh, of course, no man would simply pretend to be a noble. Definitely not a poor journeyman from Vivec who's run afoul of an armed group with no reason to wish him well and who's terrified they're going to murder him out of hand. Of course such a man wouldn't pretend to anything and everything that would make him worth more alive than dead. You arrogant fool.
I bit my tongue.
"So," Peacock said, triumph spreading across his features, "I will be keeping the... glowdust."
I schooled my features into an appropriately dejected expression. "Suppose I can't argue, can I. You beat us fair and square." I heaved a sigh. "Will you at least let my friend go? You already have your prize, after all."
Peacock hesitated.
Come on, come on...
"And how do I know you won't come after me for revenge, outlander?"
All right, acting was one thing, leading someone with a vastly overblown sense of his own intelligence around by the nose was one thing, but this was something entirely different. My professional pride refused to let such an outrage pass. "Revenge? Have you lost your mind? This is- it's business, it's not personal! The appropriate response to being outsmarted is not to come after the smarter person with a big stick!" I blurted out.
Thankfully, it seemed this fit into my story well enough, because Peacock didn't seem to become suspicious. I suspected the use of the word "outsmarted" meant he hadn't heard anything else over the sound of his inflating ego.
"Very well, then." Peacock waved a hand. I suspected he was trying for dismissive in a lordly way. He wasn't succeeding. "It seems you have learned your lesson. I can be generous. You may have your companion back, just as I have the prize. "
Relief suffused my body. I kept it off my face by reminding myself that matters weren't quite done yet.
After all, I'd managed to secure Beden's release, but the two of us had better be well away by the time Peacock realised 'the prize' was, in fact, particularly pure and fine-grained sand.
To his credit, Beden caught on quickly and managed a very credible impression of a penitent criminal caught out. He also waited until we were a safe distance away before he said, "I cannot believe he fell for that. Or that you even thought of it, for that matter. Alinorean glowdust, really?"
I shrugged. "He thought of himself as a man of wit and intelligence-"
"-you were not the one who spent several days tied up forced to listen to him crow about his glorious master plan, trust me when I say you do not have to tell me that-"
"-so expecting him to admit he was wrong about something was never going to work," I continued, doggedly ignoring the interruption. "If he was wrong, he wasn't smart enough, you see? But dangle the possibility of outwitting someone in front of him and he'd go straight for it without a second glance." I hoped Rasamsi had taken note, myself. I wasn't sure she'd take to my methods - she'd struck me as quite a direct sort - but she was certainly in need of better Peacock-handling skills.
"Very clever." The tone of admiration in my rescuee's voice made me preen. It wasn't helped when he added, "Thank you, by the way."
"Oh, say nothing of it. Literally."
Beden frowned. "Oh?"
And now came the second bit of fast-talking I'd promised Rasamsi... the one where I convinced their erstwhile captive to keep his mouth shut about what exactly had happened to him.
Alas, the erstwhile captive was not as easily convinced as Peacock. "And why exactly should I not be going straight to the authorities with this?"
"Rasamsi-"
"Because I care so much about the well-being of a woman who said they should simply kill me and be done with it."
I mentally downgraded my estimate of Rasamsi's intelligence. Not only did she have murderous intentions, but she discussed them in front of her potential victim? A poor showing. Not much foresight there. And, of course, I was the one who now had to clean up her mess.
"But she didn't kill you, did she?" I argued. "In fact, she was tremendously helpful when it came to setting up my plan. If it weren't for her you'd probably still be in that yurt." I considered, then decided to stretch the truth a little. "I don't think she meant it, anyway. I think she panicked at the thought that you'd go and tell the Temple there are dangerous Ashlanders in the area that need to be 'dealt with'. In other words, exactly what you're suggesting right now."
Beden sighed. "I do see your point. And it's not as though I want them to die." Thank you, universe! It was always so nice to meet another person who didn't think it was appropriate to get murderous about random strangers. We were far too few in number, I thought. "On the other hand, it's hardly safe to let them keep running around kidnapping travellers, is it? Sooner or later someone will get hurt, and I don't want that on my conscience."
"I happen to have it on good authority that those three are about to decamp for a more isolated region... one where any stray traveller will have much bigger problems than an overgrown adolescent with an overblown sense of his intelligence who's read far too many Isinfier Ionus novels."
Beden burst out laughing. "That would explain it, wouldn't it! A disguised Redoran noble smuggling Alinorean glowdust through the Ashlands wouldn't be out of place in one of those books."
I felt a surge of warmth for my fellow connoisseur of pulp adventure novels. It grew stronger when he continued with, "All right, then. I suppose the shrine curators don't have to know some of the details of what happened to me after the ash storm. Lots of lying down coughing, frightfully boring business all in all."
See, I told an imaginary Rasamsi, there are so many ways of resolving conflicts and misunderstandings that don't involve murdering anyone.
Out loud, I just said, "Thank you,"
"I'm not sure what I'm being thanked for." Beden was wearing an expression of complete innocence. "It's not as if anything happened to me that I'd need to lie about, is it? Only being rescued by some kind Ashlanders."
"I meant it earlier when I said that if you ever decide to switch careers and become an actor, I'd love to know," I responded. "I expect the performance to be absolutely unforgettable." He'd make for an incredible con artist, as well, but I opted not to say that part out loud.
"I'll keep it in- oh!"
The path we'd been following had wound its way through some low hills, making it hard to see much of where we were going. However, it seemed the bend we'd just rounded had been the last, because we found ourselves with a lovely view of the path running straight into the distance...
...up to the point where it met an arched gate in a high wall, two watchtowers on either side of it.
I drank in the sight of Maar Gan, a place which I decided I truly hadn't appreciated as much as it deserved on my first visit. After all, for all its odd and unfortunate problem with Daedra, it still boasted such wondrous things as armed guards, inhabitants in possession of their full cranial capacity, and- of course - my shoes. (Something I could only describe as the bodily equivalent of a whimper came from the general direction of my feet at the thought.)
"I don't know about you, but I for one would like to reach town at some point today." Beden said. "I was planning on dinner in the tavern followed by going to sleep in an actual bed. Of course, if you'd rather keep standing here staring at the place..."
"Right, sorry. Let's go then, shall we?"
"Heroic Ashlanders, you say?" Scarecrow sounded deeply skeptical.
Beden must have noticed as well. Did he let it shake him? Was there a trace of nervousness on his face? No, there was not. Cool as an ice wraith in midwinter, that man - I was beginning to wonder if he had actually been a con artist before turning glassblower.
"Just as I said. I got terribly turned around, then caught out in last week's storm, and then I came down with ataxia to boot... they found me stumbling around, took me in, nursed me back to health."
"He was just well enough to travel when I happened by," I chimed in. "They were worried about him travelling on his own, didn't want to venture near Maar Gan themselves for some reason... and there I was! Serendipity at its finest."
"And that is another part of the story I admit I don't understand. How exactly did you end up in the wastes?" As I opened my mouth, Scarecrow went on, "You must understand the story of the propylon index seems a little... unlikely. No one has ever heard of one behaving in such a way."
Well, wasn't this a familiar situation. Everyone knew a 'propylon index' (and since when had my crystal had a name?) couldn't send you careening off to visit horror-ridden Dunmer fortresses, everyone knew teleportation spells couldn't misfire...
I was in the process of readying a scathing retort when a soft voice interrupted.
"Peace, Salen," Methal said. "Their story holds together. I've long theorised that propylon indices have hidden powers, ones which could be brought forth by... the right person, shall we say." There was a strange gleam in his eyes as he considered me. After a moment, he went on. "And as for the Ashlanders... in this region, those would be Urshilaku. I'd be curious to hear more about your interactions with them, Adryn. I've had dealings with them before."
Methal's voice was mild, friendly even. Unarmed, clad in plain grey robes, sitting demurely at the kitchen table, he looked absolutely harmless. As a result, I really couldn't explain why a chill went up my spine at his last statement.
Scarecrow didn't seem perturbed. Instead, he was clearly lost in thought."Urshilaku, Urshilaku... not highly aggressive, those were the Erabenimsun... were they the ones involved in that uprising twenty years ago... dash it all, I wish Sister Ervesa hadn't left already. I'm a shrine warden, I'm not trained in dealing with heretics. An Armiger would have a better idea of these things."
A horrible thought went through my head. It was one that probably should have occurred to me earlier, although in my defense I had been rather beset by distractions.
"Ervesa said she was going to scout caves and old ruins for danger, right? Do you know where she was going?" My stomach shrivelled into an icy lump. "Not... not Falasmaryon, right?"
"I believe she was planning to stop by - and no wonder, the place is so easily defensible, it's a prime lair for bandits - but if I remember correctly, she wanted to go west to begin. Look into Hairat-Vassamsi egg mine, we had an adventurer pass by headed for there who never returned. Why do you ask?"
I found myself fervently hoping that said egg mine was a labyrinth that took days upon days to scout. "Well. I happened to pass by Falasmaryon... and there are certain inhabitants that I believe anyone who approaches the place should really be aware of." I swallowed. "In related news, do you know what happens to the victims of ash statues in the end? Because I think I do, and I really wish I didn't."
"Salen, pilgrim, out. These are higher mysteries." The harmless priest was gone. In his space sat a fiery-eyed mer so used to command he didn't even bother turning to confirm the two mentioned were following his instructions. (They were, although Beden looked rather taken aback.) After the door shut, he snapped, "Explain."
Well, what could I do other than explain.
I left Methal behind with a spring in my step. Not only was it a weight off my shoulders to have someone significantly more powerful and well-connected than myself aware of the things at Falasmaryon, Methal had said that he had ways to get a warning to Ervesa so she wouldn't wander into the place unprepared. Those things, I felt, justified an elevation of my mood in their own right... but even more, a reunion was imminent that I'd been looking forward to since this morning: that of a girl and her shoes.
Raised voices caught my attention as I passed the door to the entrance hallway. Despite my intention to give the dremora a wide, wide berth from now on, curiosity meant I couldn't resist a peek.
Beden and the dremora were face-to-face, with Scarecrow leaning against a nearby wall watching them. The dremora was doing its best to look as bored and apathetic as usual, but a tightness around its mouth made me think it was finding the expression hard to manage. In contrast, Beden's eyes were dancing, his hands sweeping in emphatic gestures, every inch of him saying he was once again giving his inner actor free reign as he...
...insulted the Daedra?
"-look like the offspring of an Ogrim and a monkey, and I'd thank you to stay on that side of the room so I don't have to learn if you smell like one too. How on earth did you survive in Oblivion when the least churl must be able to best you with their hands tied behind their back- unless they found themselves laughing too hard at your appearance to fight-"
I decided I didn't want to know.
My cot was just as I'd so abruptly and involuntarily left it this morning. More importantly, my shoes were there as well. As I picked them up, I swore to myself that I was never going to experiment with unknown magical items while only wearing socks again.
A short while later found me in the kitchen freshly shod, revelling in the feeling of hard leather protecting my feet once more. Beden and I had missed the dinner hour, but there was leftover stew still on the stove. I hoped Scarecrow hadn't had any particular plans for it, because in a short time it was quite diminished.
"Leave some of that for me, will you?"
I looked up to see Tashpi approach, her face-mask off for once and a hungry gleam in her eye. Quite literally hungry, in this case; she fell on the stew like a ravaging horde, and soon after the pot was scoured quite clean.
"Ah, that hit the spot. I've barely had time to scarf down a scrib-roll, recently." She patted her stomach. "At least now that quarantine's been lifted, I can get some of the others to help with the nursing."
Quarantine? I would have asked, except that I do pride myself on not being stupid (actually not stupid, unlike certain Velothi of my recent acquaintance) and the two and two of Tashpi having no time for me recently and the sick ward being thoroughly off-limits had made for a very definite four. "Lifted?" I asked instead.
"Lifted," Tashpi confirmed. "Thought they had Black-Heart Blight - which did not leave me sleeping easy, that's one we still don't have any sort of treatment for - but it turned out to be swamp fever after all. A real relief, that, even if I'd still like to know how on Nirn someone manages to contract swamp fever in the Ashlands."
As Tashpi spoke, I went to the hearth and poured us each a cup of hackle-lo tea. I'd quickly learned that there was almost always a pot simmering, and Tashpi's rambles along with her trembling hands made me think she needed it.
Tashpi evidently agreed, judging by the way she drank down half a cup in a single go and the long sigh she let out afterwards. "Thanks, that hits the spot." She gave me a closer look. "So... you must have been pretty bored, huh?"
I considered the events of the past day.
...no, 'bored' was not an adjective I found I could associate with it. However, telling Tashpi this would mean needing to explain exactly why today had in fact been extremely interesting, in the curse sense of the word. This did not mesh particularly well with my plans to forget any of it had ever happened.
"Something like that," I said vaguely. "Nothing much worth talking about happened, at any rate. I spent a lot of time doing chores." I felt this was true enough from a certain perspective; after all, I had spent a lot of yesterday and the day before that way, and I certainly didn't consider today's events worth talking about.
"I figured. Well, I have a suggestion for you, for something to do that'd be more interesting than sweeping. Methal mentioned you're good at Detection magic?"
"...yes?" I answered warily. I wasn't sure I liked where this was going.
Thinking back, I also couldn't remember ever discussing my skill with detection spells with Methal. He had to know from somewhere, so it must have come up, but when? I hadn't seen the man that much in the last few days, and most of our conversations had concerned the Temple-
"Excellent!" Tashpi interrupted my musings. "You see, there's been no sign of Mathis Dalobar, our trader, and he should have been here before the ash storm hit. There's a search party heading out tomorrow morning - I'd like you to join. If you're really as good at detecting living beings as Methal said, you'd be a real asset."
Why.
I'd only just gotten back!
"...Adryn, are you all right?" Tashpi sounded rather wary. I guessed my face must have been something of a picture; I decided to fix this fact by burying it in my hands.
"What is it," I spoke to my palms, "with this island and asking me, an alchemist, to do things like searching for lost travellers in the wilderness. You know, the one with dangerous wildlife like kagouti, Blighted guar and cliff racers," to say nothing of ancient fortresses beset by horrors, Velothi turned to kidnapping, naked men of varying races, and similar horrors, "things that you need combat skills to deal with."
"Um. Do you need a potion? More tea?"
"I need to get back to a place where people are sane."
"Right." Tashpi heaved a sigh. "Look, I don't know what other people have asked you to do in the past. On my part, I am perfectly aware that you're not capable of fighting - Methal was quite clear on that point. I'm not particularly good at it either, if you must know, seeing as the Restoration spell school isn't exactly known for its offensive uses. Which is why several members of Redoran will be accompanying us. I happen to know some of them quite well - nice, big, strong mer. Perfect for hiding behind."
I peered at Tashpi through my fingers. Described that way, this plan seemed almost sensible. Needless to say, I was suspicious. "And they'll take care of any fighting? No 'oh Adryn, please handle that Daedra for me'?"
Tashpi snorted. "They're young Redoran looking for glory. They'll fall over themselves to take care of the fighting." She paused. "If you're worried, remind them beforehand that you're helpless and it would be a great stain on their honour to let you come to any harm."
"Well..." Despite myself, I was wavering. I felt I'd gotten something of a feel for House Redoran thanks to Varvur and his father, and I could imagine how Tashpi's strategy could prove highly effective.
Tashpi could apparently sense my weakness, because she decided to capitalise on it. "I should probably mention that the search route will take us past some very botanically interesting areas - there's an outcrop just southwest of town with the perfect conditions for red lichen, and a pool that's managed to survive this long supporting some quite rare water plants. I'd of course be happy to tell you all about them as we pass. Mind you, I don't know when the next time is that I'll be leaving town - I really can't leave my patients that often. Chances are you'll be back in Ald'ruhn by then."
I should probably worry about having such an obvious, easily exploitable weakness. "All right, all right. I'll come. But!" I held up a finger. "The instant those Redoran of yours wander off, or go 'oh, why don't you go first', or do anything that leads me to believe they won't jump on any threat that appears, I'm heading back to town."
"Of course," Tashpi smiled, gracious in her triumph. "We're meeting outside the town gate at dawn."
It rained that night. I hadn't even realised it could rain in the Ashlands – the impression I'd had so far was that the climate was limited to sun, clouds, and horrifying ash storms – but when I left the Temple that morning, the buildings looked cleaner than I'd thought they could be and the omnipresent ash was dark with moisture.
"Good omen," said the armoured guard I'd mentally dubbed Redoran One (distinguished from Redoran Two by being half a foot shorter and Redoran Three by being female). "Much easier to travel in."
This proved true. Wet, the ash packed down so that we could walk over the top of it with our feet sinking in only a little at each step – a far cry from my struggles the day before. All the same, I found myself more interested in the white blossoms that now adorned most of the trama bushes we passed, never to mention the tiny red flowers that had seemingly sprung up overnight.
"It's such a rare occasion, rain, the plants know to make the most of it," Tashpi explained from where she was walking beside me. "I wish it weren't. Volcanic ash is incredibly fertile – this land could be the bread-basket of Vvardenfell, if only the climate were different. It's true!" she exclaimed at my skeptical look. (There was a lot one might say about the Ashlands, but that they struck one as suited for agriculture was definitely not on the list.) "It's the lack of moisture and the continuing ashfall that keeps the plants from taking hold. But the Ascadian Isles looked just like this after the last major eruption, and now look at them."
"I'll take your word for it," I said, not wanting to get into an argument. "What do you call these flowers, then? And do they have any interesting alchemical properties?"
"They're called Nerevar's Blood."
I blinked. There was something about that name...
What name? What was it she'd said again? The memory of the words seemed to have escaped my mind like water seeping into dry gound.
"No, those are Aralor's Blood," Redoran Two interrupted Tashpi before I could apologise for my distraction and ask her to repeat herself.
"I know them as Firuth's Blood," Methal chimed in from up ahead.
Tashpi rolled her eyes. "Whose blood it is varies by region, all right? Anyway, the name isn't important. To get back to your other questions, they don't have much in the way of alchemical properties, although a colleague of mine claims the petals will intensify certain draining potions if chopped finely and added just prior to boiling. I wouldn't know, it's not the sort of potion I deal with. Not enough of an effect to be worth it for apothecaries, anyway."
"Who cares? At least they're pretty." Redoran One said. Behind her, Tashpi and I traded a look of complete bafflement.
Methal coughed. "If I may have your attention... I believe we've reached the border of the patrols. Is that correct, Llarise?"
"It is, Diviner," Redoran Two said, dipping her head.
"I'd like for us to start actively searching beyond this point. Mathis should have come from the southwest, but he might have lost his bearings in the storm."
Looking at the way Methal effortlessly took charge of the group, it was hard to believe I'd ever thought him low-ranking.
"Adryn, if you would?"
I could guess what Methal wanted. I closed my eyes and fell into my Detection spell.
Time passed as my magicka level dropped. I turned up two nix-hounds and a mouth with legs which Redoran Two called an alit. The Redorans of various numbers did their duty admirably, not letting the beasts near me or Tashpi. There was no sign of a person, though, and although Methal maintained his cheerful demeanour I could see the worry grow on Tashpi's face.
"Mathis is a friend," she murmured at one point. "A good-hearted sort, helped me out of a real bind, a few years back... I do hope he's all right."
The sun was nearing its zenith when I detected two guar over the next hill.
"Wild, most likely," was Redoran Two's comment. "Hopefully not Blighted." The plates of her armour (giant insect, heavy variant) clattered with her shudder.
"Not Blighted," I said absently, mind still on my spell. "They seem quite healthy to me." At least, the feverish-pulsating-wrong quality I still remembered from the guar I'd run into with Gelduin was definitely absent from these two, the flames of their lives a steady glow.
"If you say so." Redoran Two's voice was doubtful, and her hand went to her mace. It was clear that she wasn't willing to take my word for it.
I found myself vindicated, as the two guar were not Blighted. For that matter, they also weren't wild. This could be discerned by the way they made a beeline for Redoran Three, not a sign of fear, anger, or anything other than pure greed to be seen. ("That's what you get for stuffing your pockets with candied ash yams," Redoran One grumbled.) It could also be discerned by the fact that both were bearing leather packs. Near the bottom of each, dark thread spelled out DALOBAR in Daedric letters.
"Well," Methal said. "We appear to be on the right track."
"And something's definitely happened to him." Tashpi was worrying her bottom lip. "He'd never abandon his guar, not willingly. They must have gotten separated."
"Saryn?" Redoran One directed her question at the third of their number, still surrounded by guar.
"Think they were attacked by nix-hounds," Redoran Three, who'd hardly spoken at all so far, said from where he was scratching the bigger guar's head. "This girl was injured, see?" Now that he mentioned it, I could see what looked like a scabbed-over bite-mark on the animal's flank. "But you got away all the same, didn't you? Yes, you're a clever girl. I think you deserve another treat for it, don't you?" Two brown lumps that gleamed with the bright lacquer-like shine that could only be due to sugar glazing made a brief appearance in the man's gauntleted hand, then vanished.
"Guar-mad." Redoran Two shook her head. "He should go become a herder or something."
"If it happened near here..." Tashpi wasn't looking any less worried. "Adryn, you're not picking up on any people, are you?"
I decided she wasn't in the mood to be cheered by the technically true but utterly useless yes – us response. "No. However, if there was an ash storm, and wild beasts, he might have sought shelter. My spell doesn't do well with thick walls – are there any caves or the like near here?"
"Hmm. That's a good idea. I'm not sure, though, I don't usually come out this far."
"There's the Rothan ancestral tomb," Redoran Two interjected. "Dalobar's no relation, and he's not a blasphemer to go trespassing... but in an ash storm, I guess it could happen." The skeptical lilt to her voice made it clear that Redoran Two wasn't entirely sure life-threatening danger qualified as an acceptable reason to set foot in a barrow not belonging to your own ancestors. I found myself suddenly reminded of Skyrim.
Speaking of Skyrim, I really hoped tombs in Morrowind weren't as prone to causing life-threatening danger in and of themselves, by virtue of residents that were disturbingly lively for being dead.
Rothan Ancestral Tomb was tucked against a hillside dotted with dead blackened trees. One of them had fallen right in front of the stone door, blocking it entirely.
"Must have happened in the storm, that wasn't there when I was here last," Redoran One said. Apparently feeling our quizzical glances, she expanded. "My grandmother was of Rothan. My cousins in the clan live too far away to make the journey more than once or twice a year, so I handle a lot of the day-to-day offerings and the upkeep."
"Very dutiful of you," Methal said in an approving tone. Redoran One preened.
"Now, this tree," she continued after a moment. "It's a pity we didn't bring saws- Llarise, Saryn, if you try to help me lift-"
"Actually, if you don't mind, I'll take care of it," Methal said in his best I-am-mild-and-harmless voice. I took two large steps back.
The fire that engulfed the tree trunk burned white-hot, enough that I found myself squeezing my eyes shut against the glare. When I opened them again, the ash in front of the door was slightly deeper than before, having gained some thick dark flakes along with the odd spot of red, smoldering heat. There was no sign of the trunk.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Methal make a wrenching motion with his left hand. The embers went out.
"There! That should take care of that." He sounded satisfied.
The Redorans, Tashpi and I traded glances, united across our very disparate lives and values in the shared thought of dear gods, what is this man or possibly why bother bringing guards when he could just incinerate anything that looked at him the wrong way. Our moment of quiet, mutual understanding – or possibly the word I was looking for was 'horror' – was broken by a faint call from inside the tomb.
"Is anyone out there?"
I was suddenly reminded of Huleen's apprentice.
Unlike the unfortunate scamp summoner, our lost trader proved quite thoroughly clothed when he emerged from the tomb, with shirt, tunic, breeches, fine knee-high boots that would fetch quite a nice sum at a fence, a thick cloak that left me mourning the one I'd sacrificed in Falasmaryon, and the scarf that was so common in the Ashlands – in this case worn loose around his shoulders to display a weathered face topped by lank brown hair. Everything was covered by fine, powdery ash, showing that he hadn't managed to escape the storm entirely. He did resemble that unfortunate apprentice in his gratitude for being rescued, and I suspected Listien had worn a similarly look of indescribable relief.
"The tomb guardians weren't happy, of course," he was saying. "Especially after the storm was over and I still couldn't leave – I don't think they considered the door being blocked particularly acceptable as a reason for prolonging the intrusion. Still, they allowed it. I must grant them the appropriate sacrifices in thanks, although," his throat bobbed with his swallow, "perhaps a descendant should take them for me..."
"I'll calm them, and convey your thanks," Redoran One said. She descended into the tomb, past the doorway where the trader had been huddled, with no sign of hesitation; I could swear I saw a skeletal shadow reach around her before she vanished into the darkness. I suppressed a shudder.
I was apparently the only one who considered this chain of events in any way concerning. In fact, judging by the way our rescuee relaxed at the sight, relief seemed to be the dominant emotion. Even Tashpi, who'd struck me as quite sensible thus far, nodded in approval.
"It's only the proper thing to do," she said at my sideways glance. "It was gracious of the ancestors to let him live, since he isn't of their blood. He'll need to arrange for sacrifices to their spirits in thanks once he has the ability, but for now she can speak to them." Tashpi leaned against the stone arch that shielded the entrance to the tomb, as though settling in for a wait. "I do hope they don't keep her too long, mind you. I didn't bring that much in the way of rations."
Standing in the ashy wastes, waiting for a woman to finish thanking some draugr-equivalents for not gruesomely murdering a poor lost man seeking shelter from a storm, for a moment the sheer alien nature of this land pressed down on me. The giant insects, mushroom trees, and floating jellyfish should have made it clear, but I could be a bit slow about things sometimes and somehow it had required everyone's respectful but nonchalant attitude towards the undead to remind me that I was far distant from everything I'd ever known.
Except-
(Making my way across the grassy plain at a steady lope, spear clutched in my hands, eyes trained on the fleeing nix-hound. In the distance, where the foothills begin, a netch herd was floating-
The Dwemer light flickered, casting shadows over the large map spread across the table. My companion paid it no mind, instead turning to me with a grin so bright it could near replace the lamp. "We can do it, friend – if we can trick them to Red Mountain, we can free Resdayn-"
The doorway of the tomb creaked open, the Wise Woman's hand tight where it gripped my small shoulder. I kept a careful grip on the offerings as I took a step inside-
The dremora's voice, echoing in my ears: "Oh. It's you again.")
Somehow, strangely, despite the fact that there was no reason it should, this land felt like home all the same.
A touch on my shoulder. Tashpi, looking slightly exasperated.
"Now that I have your attention, I was asking – there should be a pool of the water plants I mentioned near here. Do you want to come with me to have a look while we wait for Falvesu to finish?"
As if she had to ask.
"Lead the way," I answered, letting the odd moment pass.
The trek back to town took longer than out, because the trader was still weak from his ordeal. Methal did offer to summon a clannfear to carry him, but the man very sensibly refused. Our speed was further hindered thanks to the fact that the sun was now high enough in the sky to have dried the ash underfoot again. All things told, it was mid-afternoon by the time we, dusty and footsore, made it back to Maar Gan – along the way I found myself deeply grateful for Tashpi's foresight in having brought enough lunch for all of us.
There was still no sign of a silt strider. There was, however, a person I hadn't seen around town when I'd left. Someone I knew but hadn't seen for a while, not since I was investigating Varvur's predicament in Ald'ruhn. Someone where I didn't have the slightest idea why they might be in Maar Gan.
"Jamie!" I left the rest of the group where they were fussing over the trader's guar and trotted over to the Redguard. "What are you doing here?"
My guildmate – one who, I had to note, would have been far more suited to the task I'd been set than my own poor alchemist self, thank you Edwinna – was looking well. She'd swapped out the chainmail I'd last seen her in for the same giant insect style the Redorans were wearing – bonemold, I'd heard it called. I didn't know enough about armour to tell if this was an improvement, but I did note the new suit looked better-fitted than her last.
"Adryn?" Jamie sounded at least as surprised to see me as I was to see her. "I could ask you the same! I've wanted to catch up with you, but I was off running errands and then you weren't around in either Balmora or Ald'ruhn."
"I travelled to Maar Gan Sundas for guild guide business. But I had to stay overnight, and then there was an ash storm, and there haven't been any silt striders since." I paused, struck by a thought. "Although they must be running again, since you're here." If getting dragged into finding that trader meant I'd missed the strider-
But no, we'd been near the strider route for the entire search, and the hills in that area were low. If a strider had reached Maar Gan, I'd have seen it.
And indeed, Jamie was shaking her head. "I walked," she said apologetically. "The strider routes are in complete disarray - Navam's strider fell sick after the storm, he's not sure if she'll make it, up in Gnisis one broke a leg in the fresh ash and had to be put down, and apparently something happened to a strider en route to Suran although no one quite knows what. It's a real mess, everyone in Ald'ruhn is talking about it." She paused. "And... Maar Gan's not exactly the highest priority, you know. From the sounds of it, people were more focused on making sure the route from Vivec to Gnisis through Balmora and Ald'ruhn was running again."
My stomach sank. It was true that I'd suspected something was wrong when the silt strider failed to make an appearance, but suspicion was not confirmation. "You have no idea how much I did not want to hear that." Not when I was getting thoroughly tired of Maar Gan, and when I was worried I was outstaying my welcome at the Temple.
To distract myself from my woes, I asked, "So – what are you doing in Maar Gan, that's important enough you went and walked here?"
"House duties. Ah, I joined House Redoran recently-"
Now that she'd mentioned it, I spotted the scarab of Redoran embossed into her new armour, and the cloth peeking out under her gauntlets was red – House colours. "Let me guess. Athyn Sarethi offered?"
"He said he was very impressed by my conduct through the affair with his son, even after I apologised for not being able to see it through. I've heard good things about Redoran, and I've had such trouble finding honest work for a warrior, I decided to take the opportunity."
"How's that been going?" I asked, interested. I still had no intention of taking up Athyn Sarethi's invitation myself, but there was no harm in gathering information – especially given that Ajira was still considering it.
Jamie lit up. "Adryn, it's amazing. You know what I had to do last week?"
"Oh?"
"I got sent to take care of some mudcrabs bothering a guar herd. And that was it! No blackmail, nothing dodgy involving land deeds, no protection rackets, no innocents being threatened at all! The farmer was happy to see me!" The last fact was expressed in the tone of great awe.
And I'd thought I was traumatised by my various experiences on Vvardenfell. It clearly wasn't a patch on what had happened to Jamie. "I'm... happy for you?"
"And now Neminda's asked me to find a lost trader! Actually lost, actually find, no hidden orders or dirty deals!"
"That's... nice." Then Jamie's words caught up with me. "A lost trader? Um, his name wouldn't be... what was it again... Mathis Da-something by any chance?"
"Dalobar, yes." Jamie frowned. "Why do you ask?"
That, of course, was the point where the rest of the group caught up with me.
"-trust Shilipuran with my own guar," Redoran Three was telling the trader soothingly. "He's the best handler this side of the breedery in Gnisis, I've seen him calm a herd close to stampede."
"That's excellent to hear, my poor Datha and Enys deserves the best of care after I lost all their siblings in the storm- oh, hello!"
Mathis Da-something approached Jamie with the intense good cheer of someone who has just been rescued from a life-threatening experience and is of the opinion nothing can really be so bad in comparison. Or perhaps it might have been a confident man approaching a woman he thinks is rather attractive – it's the kind of thing I have little experience with from any angle, so it was hard for me to judge. "I'm Mathis Dalobar! Isn't it a fine day today!"
Jamie looked at the trader. Looked at me.
"I'd like to point out that I had very little to do with this, all things told," I defended myself. "Only scouting, really! But... look on the bright side. He's not very hard to find right now?"
"Well! It's good to see you alive and well, ser. Alds Baro was worried, and contacted Neminda who sent me out to search for you."
If we were getting a dedicated Jamie, why the search party this morning, I wondered?
"Alive and well indeed, thanks to these fine people here." Da-something gestured expansively. I ducked. "They even rescued two of my guar! The rest, alas, were lost in the storm." His face fell. "My poor guar..."
"Come on, Mathis." Tashpi slung an arm over his shoulder. "They might still turn up. For now, let's get you somewhere you can rest."
Jamie watched them go, still looking rather nonplussed. "Well, that was certainly easier than expected."
"So what's your plan now?" I asked. "Are you heading straight back to Ald'ruhn? Seems a bit of a waste, after coming out here."
"No, Neminda had something else for me near here. Another lost traveller – you do have to wonder if they sell maps here, don't you? A pilgrim, this time. Name of Beden Giladren."
I buried my face in my hands.
Jamie was taken rather aback to find I'd inadvertently rescued both of her targets, in addition to a Mages' Guild apprentice. She apparently quizzed Beden on the matter in some detail, or so he told me when I ran into him later that afternoon. He'd rather insisted on pulling me into the tradehouse to buy me a drink (and had been rather confused when I ordered a wick water), which gave us ample time to catch up.
"I stuck to the story, of course, but frankly I'm not sure she bought it."
I sighed. Away from Peacock and company, in particular Rasamsi's murderous gaze, I was no longer so sure lying about that had been such a great idea. "Let me worry about that, will you? Now – you said you really want to continue with your pilgrimage? Because I must admit, in your shoes I'd be halfway back to Vivec already." Well, not actually halfway back to Vivec considering the lack of silt strider service, but it was the thought that counted.
"Saint Veloth teaches us to forge forward in adversity," Beden said primly. "Besides, I haven't even made it to Gnisis yet! I couldn't possibly call myself a pilgrim if I missed out on the Koal Cave and the Ash Mask."
I shrugged. I was slowly getting used to everyone around me being completely insane in ever new and interesting ways. "And you really want to walk it? I mean, there's not much of a choice considering the strider situation," I grimaced, "but considering what happened the last time you travelled somewhere on foot-"
"Oh, do fill me in. What did happen the last time you travelled somewhere on foot?"
I was lucky I wasn't drinking, because my sudden jerk would have spelled the end of any beverage. Beden wasn't so lucky, slopping mazte over his shirt.
"I hope you don't mind if I pull up a chair?" Jamie continued as she approached the table.
"Feel free." Beden was clearly distracted, more focused on scrubbing at the stain on his shirt. "Why do they have to add firefern to mazte up here, it's as if they think House loyalty will be achieved by dyeing your insides House colours... this is never going to come out..."
"So," Jamie said once she was seated and Beden had subsided into incoherent muttering. "I meant it. What did happen the last time you travelled somewhere on foot?"
I'd never been the best at hiding my expressions, but it wasn't as if I was totally incapable, especially given some warning. I'd never have cut it as a thief if I hadn't been capable of acting confused for the guards, and the popularity of certain card games in the undertown meant I'd have spent my entire time in Windhelm dirt poor if I'd been unable to bluff.
"I really don't know what you mean," I told Jamie now, face smooth and not giving anything away. "Beden said he told you how things went already, right? Well, I for one think catching ill in an ash storm and needing to be rescued by passing strangers is quite unfortunate. I'd hate for the same to happen to him again."
"Exactly," Beden chimed in. "Illness, helpful Ashlanders, I really don't know what's left to talk about. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should go pack – I need an early start tomorrow if I'm to make it to the waystation by nightfall. Adryn, if I don't see you around, do look me up in Vivec sometime. St Olms Canton, waistworks level, just next to the Tailors and Dyers Hall. I think I can promise a discount if you should need any glassware."
That was an offer I might capitalise on. There was no such thing as too many ingredient vials and potions bottles for an alchemist.
Also, he owed me the loan of a few books.
"I'll do that," I told him. "And you can stop by if you're ever in Ald'ruhn. I'll be in the Mages' Guild, probably in the library."
After Beden had left, Jamie gave me a critical look. I squirmed. It felt a little as if she was trying to peer under my skin.
"You have been busy," she eventually said. "I'm not actually sure Athyn will believe me when I tell him about this."
I gulped. I hadn't quite managed to make the jump from the fact that Jamie had taken up Sarethi senior's invitation to join Redoran to the idea that they were most likely still in contact. "Um. I don't suppose there's any way I could persuade you not to mention it?" Sheer horror at the idea of the man's likely reaction prompted me to add, "I'll pay you."
Jamie gave me an odd look. "And claim I did it all myself? Of course not. It would be dishonourable. You deserve the credit."
Well, I'd taken Jamie for reasonably intelligent, but it was clear she was among like-minded souls in her new House.
"By the way," she went on, dismissing my suggestion as if it deserved no further consideration, "although I do, generally, approve of rescuing people from unjust kidnapping, rogue summonings, ash storms and... perfectly hospitable Ashlanders," her voice was very dry at the last, "if you want to make a habit of it I'd suggest gaining some combat skills." A pause. "Any combat skills. The Lover's Gift doesn't count. Trust me, I'm Lover-born myself – I should know."
"You are?" I asked, startled. "I hadn't realised."
"Because I don't go around using an ability which has a better than even chance to knock me unconscious in the middle of a fight, which brings me back to my original point. Adryn, if you're going to keep getting into these situations, you need to learn to fight."
"It's not as if I do it intentionally!" I protested, stung. "These things just... happen!"
Jamie paused, reflecting for a moment. "You know, if anything that strengthens my point."
I gritted my teeth. Somehow, I couldn't argue that.
I could, however, change the subject.
"So, what are you planning to do now? Since it sounds like you're out of people to rescue. Head straight back to Ald'ruhn?"
Jamie gave me a look that indicated she knew what I was doing, but would go with it for now. "Seems so. A bit of a waste, seeing as it's two full days on foot, but there's no point in standing around and it doesn't sound like there's much to do in Maar Gan."
"Trust me," I said gloomily, "there's not."
Jamie's lips quirked in a smile. "I figured you might know. In fact... speaking of that. I did come find you again for a reason."
"Oh?"
"I was wondering if you'd like to head back to Ald'ruhn with me? There's really no saying how long the silt strider network will be down, and you don't seem particularly happy to be stuck here. I'll protect you from any danger on the way."
On the one hand, the possible danger even with a trained warrior-
-on the other, not being stuck in blasted Maar Gan anymore.
Had I been speaking of two hands? How strange, because right now I could only see one here.
"Thank you so much," I told Jamie. "When do we leave?"
To be back in Ald'ruhn again!
I knew I'd once had misgivings towards the city – thanks to details such as the ash, ash storms, illicit smuggling ring of mind-controlling statues, population mainly consisting of Redorans, and the architecture meaning it was very hard to shake the nagging feeling that the doorways might decide to eat me – but honestly, they seemed like trifles from this vantage point. Ald'ruhn was a proper city, with proper taverns, shops, libraries, guards who could go search for lost pilgrims without dragging innocent passersby into it, and – of course – a guild hall with a guild guide network point. Ald'ruhn meant civilization. I couldn't help the smile tugging at my cheeks at the thought.
Jamie smiled back at me. Unlike her usual quirk of the lips, this one spread over her face, quite transforming her usually severe features. It suited her, I thought. "I was hoping you'd say yes – it's always boring journeying on your own, and I wouldn't feel well leaving you behind. We'll need to head out in the first hour, to make sure we have enough time to reach the camp at Bal Isra by sunset. Meet outside the Temple?"
We shook on it.
Chapter 20: Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Text
As agreed, Jamie and I set off early the next day. I bade a fond farewell to Tashpi, who suggested meeting to exchange alchemy tips when she was next in Ald'ruhn (an offer I accepted with due gratitude, although I suspected that date might be in the Fourth Age considering the current state of the strider service). My goodbye to Methal was more surprising, as he began making noises about coming with us - noises that only stopped when Scarecrow's agonised expression grew completely impossible to ignore. I gathered there were still some duties in Maar Gan the man should see to. Odd that he'd wanted to go with us – he hadn't struck me as a shirker.
Truth be told, I was relieved when he finally gave up. I liked Methal well enough, especially for a higher-up, but I wanted to put Maar Gan and what had happened there behind me for now. Besides, I didn't know how Jamie would react to me inviting a third person along on her jaunt without asking.
The rain of two nights ago was a distant memory. Thankfully, the ash-storm before that was also one. We toiled through dry, gritty ash underneath a cloudless blue sky. The sun, I thought, wasn't as strong as it should be considering that fact – Vvardenfell's climate was different enough from Skyrim's that I had trouble finding my bearings, but still there were signs showing that we were now in mid-Frostfall, autumn well and truly here with winter slowly beginning its approach.
In fact, I realised with a start after counting the days, it was Witches' Festival today. In Daggerfall, the Mages' Guild would be doing a brisk business, various magic users would be getting drunk and planning to perform some difficult, dangerous, and generally ill-advised spells – the fact that this was not the best of combinations would go ignored – and I'd be staying inside tonight for more reasons than the undead. Dimly, I could remember Witches' Festival in the village, before Fjaldir had brought me to the orphanage in Daggerfall City. The coven on the hilltop had celebrated all night long, me glued to the window watching the strange lights and listening to the eerie noises until the woman with the pinched face (what had her name been?) dragged me away, scolding. It hadn't been celebrated in Skyrim, though, and it was quite possible Morrowind followed suit.
Morrowind did follow suit, Jamie told me when I asked. She'd encountered Witches' Festival when she travelled to Hammerfell, but it was near unknown outside the western provinces. On reflection, I decided this was probably a good thing.
"Yes," Jamie agreed, "I think we have more than enough reckless mages around already." She must be talking about Huleen's unfortunate apprentice, I decided, the look she cast me being sheer coincidence. After all, I prided myself on being a cautious, intelligent person. It was hardly my fault if the universe had it out for me.
We stopped for lunch shortly before the sun reached its zenith, not far past the tomb where the unfortunate trader had taken shelter (we'd given it a respectfully wide berth). The trunk of an old fallen tree half-buried in ash looked like an excellent seat; I immediately tested this and approved it with a loud groan.
I needed the break. I didn't really have the endurance to keep wandering the Ashlands day after day, particularly now that I was toting my pack. My legs were killing me.
Jamie, I noted jealously, looked fresh as new snow – or ash, in this case – despite the fact that her pack was heavier than mine and she was wearing full armour. Maybe there was something to be said for warrior training after all.
Of course, such endurance was only necessary if one was wandering the Ashlands day after day, which was really something I'd prefer to avoid.
Then Jamie stood up triumphantly from where she'd been rummaging in her pack, the bread and scuttle she'd bought from the tradehouse this morning in her hands, and I lost my train of thought as my stomach growled.
Lunch was delicious, a fact I suspected had more to do with how hungry I was than its components. At any rate, after I finished off my share of the bread and scuttle along with a nice handful of dried comberries and sugared ash yam slices, my legs declared themselves ready for more walking.
The landscape changed from there. On our right, a chain of hills steep and high enough I wouldn't object to calling them mountains rose into the air. Jamie said, and my map agreed, that they formed the boundary between the Ashlands and the West Gash. Some seeds must make their way over, because here and there I found stands of kresh, roobrush and chokeweed, none looking all too healthy but still well enough to survive some cuttings.
Jamie was graciously patient whenever I stopped to gather ingredients. "Honestly," she said, "I wish I was able to identify them. It'd be a good way of earning a little money." She grimaced. "House Redoran duties are significantly cleaner than the missions I got from the Fighter's Guild or the Legion, but they don't exactly pay well."
Now here was something I could commiserate with. "Tell me about it. I keep hearing about an apprentice's stipend from the guild, but somehow it never materialises. I'm hoping I can sell these," I gave my pack (which, between now and yesterday, was quite stuffed with ingredients) a little shake, "to Ajira, or Anarenen – I mean, really I'd like to brew potions to sell, but I don't have the equipment for it to be worthwhile and I can't use any of the guild setup for that."
Apparently using Ajira's equipment to brew potions for my own use had been a grey area already; brewing potions to sell pushed it straight into illicit use of guild materials. Anarenen, the sour-faced alchemist of the Ald'ruhn guild, wasn't even willing to allow personal brewing.
I pushed the unpleasant memory away and continued. "I need to make the most of it while I'm out here, because it's not like it's safe for me to travel the wilds on my own..."
I stopped talking. Jamie stopped walking. Our eyes met in a shared understanding.
"...of course, it would be an entirely different matter if you had someone with you," Jamie spoke the thought out loud. "Someone capable of fighting, but not able to reliably collect useful ingredients herself. I'm certain such a person would be happy to play bodyguard for a share of the profits."
"I think such a thing could definitely be arranged, no?" True, I'd prefer a method of making money that kept me in the cities, but none seemed to be forthcoming. This should be safe enough, and – of course – might let me indulge in proper alchemy again. If I had a steady flow of ingredients, it'd be worth the investment in a decent mortar and pestle, a retort and an alembic – and didn't I have a glassmaker in my debt in Beden?
After that, I walked with a spring in my step. My pack seemed lighter, my legs stronger, the whole world a little brighter. I hadn't realised how much my lack of income had been gnawing at me until I had a plan to deal with it. I supposed poverty, experienced even once, left something of a mark. Jamie, too, seemed rather relieved. I was a little surprised that she was having the same problems... well, not that surprised, come to think of it. Athyn Sarethi hadn't exactly struck me as a mer in touch with the common person and their financial woes; chances were much of the House was similar.
Really, the reasons not to join House Redoran kept piling up.
The shadows were growing long and even my newfound zest for life was no longer keeping the pain from my legs when Jamie called a halt.
"See there?" She pointed at a plateau up ahead. "That's Bal Isra, our camp."
Truthfully, I'd been prepared for a grim night. I didn't have a bedroll, and Jamie's pack didn't look large enough to have one for two – or one – or a tent, for that matter. As we neared Bal Isra, I was trying to convince myself that the ash was really quite comfortable, all things told.
Unnecessarily. Up close, I could make out a crevice in the rock. Jamie steered straight towards it, then ducked inside. Not long after, torchlight spilled out into the gathering gloom.
The narrow entrance led into a small cave system which was decked out for travellers. Firewood was stacked along the sides, torches hung at regular intervals, there was a small firepit with an iron pot beneath a smokehole, and – of course – screens made of wood and hide hid several cots from the entrance.
"I stayed here on the way to Maar Gan – Neminda told me about this place," Jamie said. "Apparently it was set up by some of the Redoran scouts, and they patrol it often to restock and make sure it doesn't get occupied by bandits or the like. Very handy for travellers and pilgrims, since it's just about halfway between Maar Gan and Ald'ruhn. Now, can you grab some of those blankets?"
Jamie's long experience travelling showed in how efficiently she set about arranging our night's stay. In what felt like no time at all, two cots were equipped with blankets and pillows (all thoroughly gone over with the little draining cantrip I'd learned as a child that would kill any lice or fleas clinging to the cloth), a fire was crackling merrily in the small firepit and the smell of cooking stew spread through the cave. I hadn't even objected all that much to being ordered around – it was clear Jamie knew what she was doing, and although I'd have liked to simply collapse on one of the cots and not move until tomorrow she had made the very cogent point that collapsing on a cot with a full stomach and the knowledge I wouldn't wake up covered in bites the next morning was a much better course of action.
"Food's done!" Jamie called from the fire.
The stew was tasty enough. I had to admire Jamie's culinary skills - the items that had gone into it had not looked particularly promising, but the cooking process had transformed them to the point where I took seconds.
"You're good at this," I told her.
Jamie's lips pulled into a wry smile. "Thanks – it's good to know I haven't lost the touch. I spent a large part of my teenage years dealing with food that... varied in quality, let's say. I had to learn how to make the most of what we had, or else suffer."
Now that was an interesting tidbit about my friend's younger years. Ordinarily, I – firm believer in privacy that I was – would leave it up to Jamie to share more if she wanted. However, as it so happened we were stuck in a cave together with still a few hours to go before we could sensibly go to bed. Nosiness, I decided, was excusable if it kept us from sitting there awkwardly staring at each other in silence for that time.
"Were you poor, then? In... I forget where you said you were from. Somewhere in Cyrodiil?"
"Kvatch. And – no, my family ran a goods store after my step-father sold his old farm, we were well off as such things went. But I left home when I was fairly young. Fell in with a bad crowd, I'm sorry to say." Jamie stared into the fire as though it held the secrets of Apocrypha, her bowl of stew forgotten by her knee. "Morrowind's been a fresh start for me. I'm not sure I deserve one, but since I have it I'll make the most of it."
I blinked, surprised. Whatever I'd expected the past of our new member of House Redoran and teller-off of Imperial Generals to be like, that wasn't it.
As happened far too often, my thoughts ended up in my speech without my brain having a chance to intervene. "Really? I thought you were all about the brain-lichen – I mean, code of honour, chivalry, righteousness, all that ro-" I cut myself off with a fake cough.
The reason Jamie and I were on the way to friendship while Varvur and I emphatically were not was that she laughed. "Now I am! But when I was younger, I was angry at the world... figured that because it had been nasty to me, I could be nasty right back. Except that most often it ended up as being nasty to people who'd had nothing to do with what happened to me, but who were there and couldn't defend themselves." Jamie's lips pressed together into a thin line. "I grew out of that particular brand of self-centeredness eventually, but not nearly as quickly as I should have."
I frowned. I had to admit that even though the world had definitely been 'nasty', as Jamie put it, to me as well, I'd never been tempted to take that out on others. Still, it was a reaction I'd seen before, even if I failed to understand it... and there was something else that bothered me about that story.
"And then you turned around and joined House Redoran? Don't you think that's a bit of an extreme reaction? I mean, obviously you shouldn't hurt people," why this didn't go without saying was frankly beyond me, "but a little selfishness is good for you."
Jamie snorted. "A little selfishness? Adryn, I'm not entirely sure you even know what the word means." And while I was reeling from that underhanded blow, she followed up mercilessly. "Look, I know you like mocking ideals like honour and chivalry. And I agree that sometimes they get... impractical. But have you considered what the alternative would be?" Dark eyes bored into mine. "A world full of people just out for themselves, who don't care who they trample on their way to where they want to go. That's not a world I want to live in. Do you?"
I opened my mouth. Closed it again. There was something wrong with that line of argument, I knew it-
(A small golden-skinned boy, crouched warily over his bowl of stew and shooting me occasional half-awed, half-mistrustful glances-
A Nord man and woman, dirty, clad in rags, plainly terrified, jeers rising in the air around them. My own voice (really? my voice?) cutting through them – "So, I take it we have driven out our enemy only to become them in turn."
Ingerte at fifteen, arms crossed and face set in a deep frown- "Explain to me again why we shouldn't just stay out of the whole mess?"
A Bosmer looking at me pleadingly- Varvur, hands trembling, eyes fixed on something only he could see- Beden, half-heartedly pulling at his bonds with an expression of resignation-)
I felt dizzy and ill. I wanted nothing more than to argue Jamie's point, but in that moment the words required were simply beyond me.
Thankfully, Jamie didn't push it any farther – leaving me speechless was apparently enough for her. (A rare occasion, in truth, and one I would usually fight my hardest against, but sometimes one has to cut one's losses.) After the pause began to lengthen, she shifted backwards to retrieve her stew, then said, "So – how much money do you think we could make, selling ingredients?"
I seized on the change of subject with some degree of haste. Unkind people might go so far as to call it desperation. "Well, it depends on where we can go and if we can find a buyer with a particular need. Of course, I could increase our profit margin by quite a large amount if I had access to a set of alchemy apparatus of at least Journeyman quality, but even failing that..."
As I talked, I did my best to put the conversation we'd had prior, and how deeply uncomfortable it had made me, out of my mind.
The Argonian frowned at me when I entered the guild hall. Some vague memory, probably from Balmora breakfasts, told me he was the Ald'ruhn guild's spellmaker, but I couldn't remember his name for the life of me. I hadn't exactly had a round of introductions.
"Apprentice, where have you been?" He, on the other hand, apparently knew exactly who I was and that I'd been absent longer than expected. Awkward. "Edwinna expected you back days ago."
"I guess you missed the ash storm, then," I said wearily. "And the disaster that is the current state of the silt strider network. And... you know what, is Edwinna in? I'll just discuss this with her."
Edwinna was, in fact, in, and I was gratified to see that her demeanour was more concerned than scolding.
"I am truly sorry," she told me in the same breath as her greeting. "I had no idea I was sending you into anything dangerous, Huleen is always so sensible." Her lips thinned. "Listien has been thoroughly chastened for his recklessness, if it helps."
I shrugged. I couldn't deny having harboured dark thoughts towards Edwinna for her role in this whole mess, but seeing her so obviously repentant softened me. She couldn't have known, and the ash storm and what resulted had really not been her fault.
"Here, take these for your service to the guild. I think you might find them useful."
The scrolls Edwinna passed me were enchanted strongly enough to nearly blind my magic-sense. Most apprentices would probably not have been able to work out what they did without setting them off. Most apprentices also hadn't spent several years running high-profile burglaries and fencing enchanted goods. I could tell at a glance that these would trigger very strong protective spells.
Useful? Maybe. Valuable? Absolutely. These would fetch a more than handsome amount at an enchanter's, which should help tide over my financial woes until Jamie and I had a chance to get started.
"In case you run into any more trouble." Edwinna's voice was rather dry.
"In all honesty, I was rather hoping to avoid more trouble," I told her. "Unless you have another mission for me?" When I asked the question, my voice might not have contained quite the amount of enthusiasm a guild superior might want. In fact, traces of dread could be found.
Edwinna didn't take it personally. Instead, she gave me a rueful smile. "Actually, the latest shipment from the mainland came in just a day or so after you left, with the latest editions of the Cyrodiilic and Summerset journals. So I have some reading for you to do – no Daedra involved."
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that," I said with full, heartfelt sincerity. "Just give me the books, I'll take care of the rest."
Sadly for my dreams of burying myself underneath a pile of books and not emerging for at least a few days, Jamie had other ideas.
"I really don't see why I have to come along for this," I told her as I was towed in her wake through the streets of Ald'ruhn. "You're the one who told this Neminda you'd go out rescuing people, I wasn't involved. I'm not even a member of House Redoran!"
Jamie's brisk stride didn't even falter. "All the same," she responded without turning her head, "you're the one who actually rescued both the men in question. It wouldn't be fair for me to claim the credit on your behalf. Or," she paused suggestively, "the reward."
An obvious lure, one which would work far better if Jamie hadn't told me already that rewards for House Redoran duties ran from paltry to nonexistent. "Tell you what, I hereby grant you permission to claim all credit and any reward on my behalf. Really. Truly. Honestly." I paused. "Please?"
Judging by the way she continued walking, Jamie did not please.
My shoulders slumped in defeat. "At least tell me Athyn Sarethi won't be there."
Alas for me, it quickly proved not to be my day. The office somewhere in the depths under Skar which Jamie led me to had two occupants. One was another Redguard – the Neminda I'd heard her mention, I suspected. The other was exactly the person I'd been hoping not to see. The two of them were bent over something on the large oak table in the middle of the room, but looked up when we entered.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Jamie said quickly. "I'll come back later-"
Yes, I added silently. Please, let her come back later. Much later, at a point in time where I will find I have an insurmountable scheduling conflict, so sorry.
"Oh, don't worry," said Sarethi. "Neminda and I were just finishing, and I'd like to hear how things went in Maar Gan-" His eyebrows went up as he saw me enter behind Jamie. "Adryn?"
Neminda frowned. "We do have some expection of discretion regarding House business, Retainer," she told Jamie.
"Exactly!" I seized on the excuse with the desperation of a drowning mer. "Top-secret discussions to be had, no doubt. I'll just let myself out-"
"With all due respect, Kinswoman," Jamie cut across me, "Adryn of the Mages' Guild was the one who actually completed both missions I was assigned before I even reached Maar Gan. As a result, she needs to be here more than I do."
There was a beat of silence.
"All right," said Sarethi. "This I have to hear."
The resulting debriefing was not pleasant. It became even less pleasant when Sarethi began laughing halfway through.
"A little decorum, please?" I noted with interest that Neminda didn't seem in any way afraid of telling her superior off. The contrast to the way Scarecrow had been thoroughly intimidated by Methal was stark. Perhaps Neminda was a naturally strong personality.
"My apologies." Sarethi accepted the scolding with good grace. "What did you say happened after you reached the Ashlander camp?"
Beneath the steady stare of three pairs of eyes, one of which was promising me that she'd already been skeptical of this story in Maar Gan and had no intention of being silent about her doubts now, I caved. Sarethi, Neminda and Jamie got treated to the way things had actually gone.
"I don't like this story of Ashlanders kidnapping pilgrims." Neminda's frown was fierce. "We might need to make an example, demonstrate that this is not acceptable-"
I swallowed. Suddenly, the fears of bloody retribution I'd heard the Velothi I'd met express no longer felt so far-fetched.
"Hold," Sarethi interrupted. "We have decent relations with the Urshilaku overall. I'm not willing to risk losing that for a few rogues that, it sounds like, Adryn here has already removed as a threat." He nodded in my direction. I wondered how it was possible that the floor still hadn't swallowed me.
"So you'd do nothing?" Neminda sounded disbelieving.
"No, you're right, not responding at all would send the wrong message entirely. Hmm..." Sarethi tapped his fingers on the desk contemplatively. "I think it would be best to send someone to speak with their Ashkhan, about his control over his people and the possible consequences of letting young hotheads range unchecked. A new member of the House, perhaps, who was unable to complete her last duties through no fault of her own." He gave Jamie a significant look.
Jamie straightened. "I'd be honoured, sir." Then she glanced at me. "Er... you're not planning to travel to Urshilaku lands anytime soon, are you?"
I owed Jamie for her assistance in a way for me to finally make some money, never to mention her help with Varvur. Therefore, I decided, I would forgive her the fact that she'd just made Sarethi snort with laughter.
"I have no intention of setting foot outside town anytime soon," I told her. "However, if it makes you feel better, if I do end up in Urshilaku lands I promise not to speak to their leaders at all."
I thought Jamie's sigh of relief was really quite unnecessary.
I left the Redoran administration complex about an hour later, feeling thoroughly drained but quite appeased through the newfound heaviness of my purse. The awkward way Neminda had pushed the septim coin my way, never to mention Jamie's rather jealous look, made me suspect that nothing would have been forthcoming had I been a member of House Redoran – however, it would be a rather bad look to not just have an outsider come in and solve your problems but also fail to reward them. Another reason to be happy I hadn't taken Sarethi up on his invitation.
After my recounting of my part in the rescue of Beden and the trader, we'd circled back to my experiences at Falasmaryon. As I'd suspected, Sarethi was quite disturbed to hear of what I'd found there (most likely imagining the same thing I had – a shambling Varvur with tentacles growing out of his face) and the three Redoran had been deeply involved in a discussion about how to best support the Temple in its investigation when I'd finally been able to leave. Now, to go back to the Mages' Guild in order to finally bury myself in books...
A sign caught my eye. Cienne Sintieve – Alchemist.
All right. Back to the Mages' Guild after a minor detour.
The Breton alchemist proved to be quite friendly and very willing to talk shop with a newcomer. I emerged with a good dose of gossip, a far better understanding of the way fire-fern's alchemical properties were affected by drying, and a potential customer. Cienne had professed herself willing to buy ingredients, but also told me that she was being run ragged keeping up with things after her last assistant had quit and would gladly buy potions brewed to a professional standard as well. Her need for healing, rejuvenating and disease resistance potions was apparently particularly dire; I silently repeated the list under my breath as I passed through the wide doors that formed the entrance to Under-Skar and stepped back in the ashy wastelands.
Perhaps I should have paid less attention to the potential of profit and more to where I was walking, because I tripped on the wide steps leading down from the commercial district around Skar. I barely managed to catch myself before I fell flat on my face, an act that involved the unwilling assistance of an older Dunmer woman. She brushed my hand away from her arm with extreme prejudice, levelled me with a glare that should have incinerated me on the spot, spat something that did not sound at all friendly in Dunmeris and stormed away.
"Well, sorry," I grumbled. "Next time I'll make sure to take you with me." After a moment to make sure I was steady on my feet, I started my trek back to the guild. Then stopped again. My near-fall had shifted the contents of my pockets, and something annoyingly pointy was poking me in the thigh with every step. I dug around to retrieve the culprit, and found myself holding the crystal that had sent me to Falasmaryon.
I found my fingers loosening quite by themselves. Ash puffed up where the thing hit the ground, and I took a large step back.
Then my rational mind caught up to events.
I didn't remember quite what I'd done before my impromptu displacement, but I was sure I'd sent magicka at it somehow – especially because the day beforehand, both Methal and I had handled it without any incident.
More importantly, it was an ancient Chimer artifact with mysterious powers and possible Dwemer influence. An excellent item for an aspiring apprentice in Dwemer research to give her prospective master, especially as certain puzzle cubes were out of the picture. That was definitely a better way of getting rid of the thing than leaving it in the dirt.
I dug in my pocket for a handkerchief, which I used to very, very carefully pick the crystal back up, making sure to keep my magical senses firmly to myself all the while. Then, with long strides, I made my way back to the Mages' Guild.
Edwinna was less keen than I was.
"It's clearly not Dwemer," she said. "This is silver, see, and primitively worked – the Dwemer would have used their own alloys, and certainly not such a poor forge. Late Chimeris work, I'd say, in the Council era. Popular as it is, I've never been convinced by the theory of Dwemer influence on the Chimer, not when we see no traces of such in the modern Dunmer... and honestly, I have enough work with actual Dwemer artifacts that I don't need to follow spurious leads." She dropped the crystal back into my palm. I suppressed a flinch.
"So it's useless, then?" I asked, dejected.
"Not useless, no!" Edwinna looked shocked. "Simply not Dwemer, and not of interest to me, but – and never tell anyone I said this – the Dwemer aren't all there is to the world." She gave me a conspirational wink. Despite myself, I could feel my lips stretch in a smile. I found myself wishing I'd joined the guild in Ald'ruhn, not Balmora - their guild-mistresses were as different as day and night, and I knew which one I preferred.
"In fact," Edwinna went on, "if I remember correctly, Folms Mirel has been looking for items that look like these. Head of the Caldera guild," she explained, correctly interpreting my quizzical look. "He's been talking about crystals connected to the ancient Chimer fortresses. Propylon indexes, I think he called them. No wonder, either, if they're capable of teleportation – it's Folms' primary research interest, he's the one who's largely to thank for the guild guide network."
The name did ring a bell, now that she'd explained. If I remembered correctly, he was the guild head Ajira and I had ruled out because he specialised in Mysticism and enchanting. Well, with luck, even with our very disparate research interests we'd find some common ground in the crystal- the propylon index. Preferably common ground that involved either solely indoor apprentice duties, or the exchange of money.
"Thanks for letting me know," I told Edwinna now. "I'll definitely talk to him." I considered for a moment. "Tomorrow."
There was a pile of books that had been calling my name for hours now. Everything else could wait.
As a Chimer, I'd lived my entire life under the open sky. I'd only ever been in a structure more permanent than a yurt in order to do honour to my ancestors at their tomb, or during the few times I'd had business in the Nords' settlements. Embarking on a visit to Dumac's underground city had brought me far deeper underground than any of those. I wasn't sure I liked it.
"Duck here," Dumac instructed. In the glow of the lamps affixed to the corridor walls (too steady for firelight, but lacking the blue undertone and magical hum of magelight) I could see him follow his own advice, curly hair brushing the metal ceiling.
As it so happened, I was short enough I could pass through the gap upright. Still, the sight made me consider the ceiling... and the earth above, a mountain that would collapse and crush us if it weren't for that thin strip of metal and the arched supports every few feet.
Correction. I definitely didn't like this.
"Is it much farther?" The words escaped me quite without my will; I bit my tongue, but too late to hold them back. At least, I consoled myself, they'd come out sounding believably nonchalant.
Judging by Dumac's glance back at me, he didn't agree. "Not much farther, no. This was the narrowest part, we've almost reached the cavern."
A snort from behind me, where the rest of Dumac's... clan-mates? Hunt-group? I still didn't understand Dwemer social structures- were bringing up the rear. "Imagine being afraid of being underground," a voice whispered, soft but loud enough for me to hear.
Never one to take that sort of comment lying down, the perfect response immediately sprang to mind. It's called an ability to consider potential consequences – of course, you wouldn't be familiar with such a thing, seeing it requires this thing known as 'intelligence' and it's clear yours is taxed to its limit by walking and talking at the same time. In fact, no wonder cave-ins are of no concern to you – if your head should be crushed by a falling rock, nothing of value would be damaged.
What I should do, I told myself sternly, was to ignore the comment. Giving my tongue free reign had proved to not be in the best interests of diplomacy even when I did it among my clan-mates; it would be sheer disaster in this touchy situation. Alas, despite all these well-reasoned arguments against, I found my mouth opening all the same-
The whisper had been loud enough for Dumac to hear as well. "How strange, I must be imagining things. Because I could have sworn I heard Stungthand disparage our guest... but of course Stungthand would know better than that, wouldn't he? After all, I distinctly remember needing to forcibly drag him out of the tunnels the first time he left because he was terrified he would fall into the sky."
There was a humiliated silence from behind. I gave Dumac a slight nod of thanks. For a moment, I wasn't sure if he'd seen it, but then the bushy head dipped in response.
"On which note," Dumac said, "here we are. Welcome to Nchurdaleft, Nerevar." And he stepped forward and down.
I wasn't too proud to admit I gaped. The corridor opened into a gigantic natural cavern, lit by Dwemer lamps strung at regular intervals, never to mention the glowing blue mushrooms and vines. Despite the light streaming from these sources and glittering off crystals embedded in the cavern walls, the sheer vastness meant I couldn't make out the opposite wall, and only vaguely discern stone spikes hanging from its roof far, far above.
And, of course, there were the Dwemer, making their way busily between the stone-and-metal houses that rose from cavern floor or into the great tower that lay at its center, vanishing into other corridors that branched off from the side, standing in clusters around strange machines... the sight made me think of anthills that I'd seen in the wild, teeming hives of activity with each individual a mere speck in the mass.
There were, I suspected, more Dwemer in this cavern than I'd seen people in my entire life before.
"Do you mind moving, Chimer? Some of us would like to get out of this corridor too."
The annoyed voice from behind brought me back to myself. I closed my mouth, moved away from the doorway and did my best to pretend that I saw gigantic underground Dwemer cities every day. I suspected I wasn't particularly successful, but it was an act that kept me following Dumac down the stairs and along a winding path that went sometimes by, sometimes over, and sometimes through the buildings... never to mention more strange sights than I'd ever hoped to see. Dwemer children playing with some odd glowing eight-sided shape; a Dwemer woman chanting furiously at a pipe, then sitting back in satisfaction when it began to spit steam; several little metal spiders trundling along, each with a small box strapped to their backs...
Our progress was slow. Not only did quite a number of the people we passed want to gawk at the Chimer, but it turned out that Dumac was well-known in the city – something of a feat, I thought, considering the sheer number of inhabitants. It seemed as though every few feet we had to stop for Dumac to speak to someone. Usually, this took place in Dwemeris, but the smiles and (frequently) back-thumping made the relationships involved clear. I spent the interruptions doing my best to wait patiently. Patience was not a skill that came particularly easily to me, as any Indoril - certainly those who'd been present for the kagouti hunt in the last year of the Atronach - could have told you. However, the underground city offered enough in the way of distraction that the greater challenge proved to be trying not to stare at my surroundings too obviously.
We were about halfway to the large building in the center of the cavern when I failed.
Dumac was deep in conversation with a man whose face was heavily lined in wrinkles and beard was solid grey. No back-thumping was visible here; no, judging by the body language the two were being so exquisitely polite to each other that I suspected a lot of dislike lurking beneath the surface. It had also gone on longer than any of Dumac's interactions with one of the townspeople so far, and I was starting to get bored.
I looked around and saw another Dwemer, somewhat shorter and skinnier than average with the ubiquitous tall hat perched on his head at a jaunty angle, bent over a crystal about the size of my fist which was sitting on a raised pedestal. Occasionally, he'd reach over to prod the object, muttering profusely all the while. Nothing seemed to change when he did so, except the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and when I let myself fall into my magical senses I could feel the faintest flare of power from that direction.
That would be interesting in its own right, because despite the whirring gears, hissing pipes, glowing toys and wandering spiders, it was the first time I'd felt anything I'd term magical in this cavern. On top of that, the feel of the magicka was familiar, reminding me very much of some of the experiments I'd indulged in when I was younger and less disciplined.
The Dwemer's dark eyes flicked upwards. "Can I help you, Chimer?" The words were a surprise – they were spoken evenly, without the bite of hostility I'd expected, and in Chimeris to boot.
Then I realised I'd drifted closer without even realising, close enough the – craftsman? mage? - had stopped working to deal with the interruption. I took a step back and dipped into a quick bow of apology. The time I'd spent in alliance with Dumac and his people had driven home how culture-specific such gestures could be, so I added, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you."
"No need to apologise." The man's eyes hadn't left mine. His Chimeris sounded close to fluent, praise Azura – I'd been reliably informed that my Nordic was poor and my Aldmeris an embarrassment, and of course I spoke no Dwemeris at all, so Chimeris was the only hope for us to have any sort of conversation. "It's a good opportunity, in fact. I've been branching out a little, and I know your people work more with-" some Dwemeris word suffering from a terrible affliction involving excessive consonant growth followed. "I'd be curious as to what a Chimer would make of this."
The face of our Wise Woman swam into my mind, stern and forbidding. I could almost hear her sharp tongue shaping the words lazing about again, feel her fingers gripping the point of my ear.
It's diplomacy, I told her silently, and turned to the offered crystal.
Up close, the familiarity was far more apparent. "It reminds me of some of the crystals you can find in Daedric ruins," I spoke aloud for the benefit of my audience. "I tried imbuing some of them with magicka when I was younger – had a silly idea that I could create a connection between them that could be used for teleportation – I didn't get anywhere with it, obviously, but the result felt quite a bit like what you have here."
The Dwemer blinked, clearly taken aback. "Teleportation?"
"Yes – instantaneous magical travel between fixed points. It would be very useful, I figured – imagine how much easier it would be to meet traders or reach the tribes'-moot, or what it might mean for the elderly and sick, if they could stay in a single location even when we had to move on with the herds. There was this resonance to the Daedric crystals that could be modified if you carefully infused them with magicka, I thought..."
I stopped, surprised by the enthusiasm in my own voice. Wasn't I past this?
"I didn't realise you were interested in magical research, Nerevar. That any of the Chimer were."
I turned. Dumac had finished his discussion with the elder and had come to over to eye both of us with an odd expression. I could feel heat rise in my face.
"Oh, I was young and prone to wild daydreams. I grew out of it eventually."
Dumac's expression changed to one of complete bafflement. This, sadly, was fairly familiar by now. "But... if it was a promising line of research, why wouldn't you continue it?"
My ear throbbed with phantom pain. I could almost see the Wise Woman's pinched expression. "You mean waste time playing with rocks that I should have spent supporting the tribe? Believe me, no one would have thanked me for that. I'd like to think I know better by now."
"Waste time?" Dumac repeated, sounding more bewildered than ever. "It's the most noble of pursuits, wouldn't it be seen as doing great honour to your family?"
We spent a moment staring at each other in complete mutual cultural incomprehension.
"Well." The voice belonged to the young Dwemer I'd interrupted. "If you have the time after, I for one would be quite glad if you spent time 'playing with rocks', as you put it, with me. I assure you I do not consider your ideas a waste of time. On the contrary, they sound as if they tie in quite nicely with my theories." He nodded at me, the gesture more respectful than I'd received from any Dwemer bar Dumac.
"I'm sure that could be arranged," Dumac answered for me, shooting me a sidelong glance. It was a look I'd become familiar with from strategy meetings and the heat of battle, one signalling trust me and do as I say.
"Yes... I'd like that," I said. I was still confused, but – absurd as the thought would have been a bare few years ago – I did trust Dumac. And perhaps some childish part of me was delighting in the thought that I might be able to continue my experiments in the name of diplomacy.
Although, of course, there were some more traditional components to diplomacy I shouldn't be forgoing.
"Ah- Nerevar, of clan Indoril," I added hastily. "Thank you for your hospitality."
The Dwemer's eyes glittered as he took my hand. "A pleasure. I am Kagrenac."
I found myself quite happy with my choice of guild to attach myself to the next day. The Caldera guild was, if anything, even smaller than the Balmora guild – small enough to be decidedly cramped. The guild guide platform was so close to the enchanter's desk you had to be careful not to step on any soul gems on disembarking, and the harrassed-looking instructor had only a few fenced-off square feet to work with, no practice chamber or target range in sight – I certainly hoped they didn't teach Destruction spells here. I couldn't see an alchemist either, showing they had some sense – potion fumes really do require their own space, preferably with excellent ventilation – but that was as far as it went. Even Mirel, a gray-haired, heavy-set man easily identifiable not just by his rich brocade robes but also by virtue of being the only Dunmer in the place, was working from a desk crammed into a corner.
At least it made him easy to find, I thought, and made my way over for introductions.
"Excuse me. I'm Adryn, from the Bal- the Ald'ruhn guild. I hear you may have been looking for items like this?"
Mirel's face lit up at the sight of the propylon index. I internally breathed a sigh of relief. If it heightened my standing in the guild, good – if it resulted in a monetary reward, excellent – but even with both those things aside it'd be good to get the thing off my hands. Falasmaryon hadn't been so pleasant a place to visit that I wanted to risk a repeat.
Alas, it turned out my relief was a little hasty, because matters went downhill from there.
It started when I tried explaining how I'd triggered the teleportation. Silly me, thinking a mer who wanted the thing for its teleportation capabilities would be interested in hearing about such a thing.
"Apprentice," was Mirel's frosty response, "I already told you I wanted the item. There is no need to lie in order to make it seem more appealing."
I spluttered. "Lie?" was the only word I managed.
"Yes, and an obvious one at that." Mirel shook his head in clear disappointment. I wasn't sure whether it was because he thought I was lying to a superior, or because he thought I was being obvious about it. "Although it is true these items hold the potential for teleportation – a fact I assume Edwinna informed you of – it is locked deep within them. Only a true master of the mystic arts could access it. Certainly not someone with your... challenges." He sniffed.
I could not possibly be hearing this correctly. "Excuse me?"
Dimly, I was aware that all other activity in the guild hall had ceased, all eyes fixed on Mirel and me. Mirel, of course, gave no sign of noticing.
"Your... 'syndrome', I believe they called it." He spoke the word as if it tasted foul. "I myself do not understand why someone incapable of a fundamental magical skill should be permitted to advance in the guild, but apparently Edwinna thinks you can be of use in the lesser schools. So be it. But I will not tolerate you attempting to edge in on my research via fantastical claims. Now, give me the propylon index and we will not speak of this again." He paused for a moment. "I suppose I might be able to reimburse you for finding it, if you apologise for your presumption."
There was a beat of silence. Mirel, hand outstretched for the propylon index, looked satisfied, almost serene. He had declared how the world was, and the world would now follow suit by rearranging itself to his liking. As for me, I was still caught in stunned disbelief.
Then it turned to fury.
"Actually," I told the newly-dubbed Blowfish, "I think I'll be keeping it." I bared my teeth. Only a very stupid person would have considered my expression a smile, so I gave Blowfish a fifty-fifty chance. "Since, you know, it belongs to me. I would have donated it to your research efforts, but as you have made so clear that I am not wanted, I'll just assume the same goes for my belongings. Who knows, I might do a little investigation of it myself."
Blowfish was going purple. "Apprentice-"
"Who knows," I talked over him, "maybe I'll figure the thing out before you do. The lowly apprentice with the syndrome. Wouldn't that be embarrassing for you?"
Blowfish didn't respond, apparently lost for words. His mouth was, however, opening and closing silently. It actually did make him look remarkably like a fish; I'd clearly chosen the nickname well.
I turned to see an entirely silent, motionless Mages' Guild, everyone staring at me.
"Hi there," I said to the guild guide. "Could you send me back to Ald'ruhn? For some reason, I don't much feel like staying in Caldera any longer."
My righteous rage begin to drain away the instant my feet hit the Ald'ruhn guild guide platform. By the time I'd unlocked my cupboard in the dorms in order to deposit the propylon index, the emotion was entirely gone, leaving me feeling mainly shocked and a little queasy.
Had I really said... to a superior in the guild... in front of an audience...
I let my forehead thunk against the wood of the cupboard with a groan. "I really, really hope I don't need to be on good terms with the Caldera guild."
"This sounds like a story."
Startled, I turned to see Jamie behind me. The sight was off-putting – I knew she was technically a guild member, but she seemed to be fully occupied with her Redoran duties at the moment. Besides, last I'd heard, she was supposed to be travelling to the Urshilaku. What was she doing here?
Travelling to the Urshilaku was out of the picture until the silt strider network was up and running again, Jamie explained. It was simply too far of a journey, through too dangerous lands, when one couldn't just take the strider to Khuul and then head along the coast. As for what she was doing here...
"House Redoran accommodation for 'itinerants' isn't exactly what I was hoping for," Jamie admitted. "Lots of young men out looking for glory who'll take alcohol as an acceptable substitute. No real privacy, either." Her lips twisted. "I'm still a guild member, I wanted to check the Ald'ruhn dorms."
Unfortunately, we – as I'd discovered last night – also had members who made for noisy neighbours. The members of Edwinna's Dwemer expeditions were often tough, adventurous sorts who spent most of their time in the wilderness and cut loose during their short time in Ald'ruhn. That said, at least we had curtains around the beds, and I'd heard good things about kwama wax ear-plugs.
(It was probably a sign of how bad the Redoran accommodation was that this explanation made Jamie noticeably brighten.)
"I'm also happy I stumbled across you – I've been meaning to catch you in order to pin down the details of the plan for gathering and selling ingredients we discussed. Maybe get started on it, while I'm waiting on the strider network." The eager expression on her face was, I suspected, the sign of someone who really needed to be earning money sooner rather than later. "Anyway, enough about me. What's this about the Caldera guild?"
"Just a moment." I rummaged for my coin-purse.
The Ald'ruhn guild alchemist had proved just as crotchety this time as on first meeting, so I'd paid another visit to Cienne under Skar to sell the ingredients I'd collected during my excursion to Maar Gan. Even having kept some vials back – for my own use and to gift to Ajira – it had amounted to a tidy sum. We hadn't discussed our deal being retroactive, but I wouldn't have been able to gather any on the way back from Maar Gan without Jamie's help, and I prided myself on being fair.
"Here. From what I gathered on the trip." Two more clues in favour of Jamie being in unpleasant financial straits: the way she didn't protest my offer, and the way I could see the stress fade from Jamie's frame as the two ten-drake coins passed into her hands. "As for Caldera..."
Jamie, it turned out, wasn't particularly worried about my behaviour at the Caldera guild. "Good on you for standing up for yourself. I hate it when people think their rank means they can be rude. Or bullies." She scowled, and I remembered the story of Jamie's short but eventful career in the Imperial Legion. Perhaps I really shouldn't be surprised that she approved of someone yelling at a superior behaving badly.
"I can't imagine Edwinna will hold it against you, anyway. She seems like a decent sort. Now... about the ingredients?"
Thus began an overall calm and relaxing part of my life.
After agreeing on how to portion the profits, Jamie and I went ingredient-gathering regularly whenever she wasn't off on Redoran business. In addition to the area around Ald'ruhn, we also explored near Vivec – the wilderness began surprisingly close to the city, and was a prime source of marshmerrow, cork bulb and muck sponge.
Even with me keeping back a portion of what we gathered, we were left with enough that it might actually have been too much for Cienne. Thankfully, a few days in I gained a surprising new customer – Methal, finally returned from Maar Gan, apparently part of the alchemy team at the Temple. Why he'd never mentioned it escaped me. At any rate, the man was bad enough at haggling that I took him up on his offer to buy ingredients gladly. Even the way he insisted on telling me about all that the Temple could do for me whenever we met didn't stop me, even if it did leave an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.
The steady income eased both mine and Jamie's nerves, but I still dolefully counted up drakes and came far short of how much I might have made selling potions instead. Alas, my very basic mortar and pestle was not up to the task of turning what we gathered into professional-quality draughts, and I didn't have enough saved up yet to invest in equipment of high enough quality to be worthwhile.
Edwinna, it seemed, had no end of clerical and academic work for me to do, something that suited me better than her previous attempt at a task. It was also something I was desperately in need of, it seemed, because I was apparently not as good as academic writing as I'd believed. At least, I certainly had a tendency to forget certain basic facts on the one hand, embroider my reports on what I'd read with details that apparently came straight out of my imagination because they certainly weren't in the books on the other. Edwinna had to scold me on the matter more than once, to my embarrassment.
Perhaps I was out of practice, or perhaps the Dwemer simply captured my imagination more than alchemy ever had, leading me to flights of fancy. Whatever the reason, I had to concentrate very hard to make certain I was including neither more nor less than material with a solid academic foundation whenever I wrote about the Dwemer. For some reason, this frequently ended in blinding headaches on my part. Despite my initial intentions, I found myself returning to my independent study of propylon indexes more and more as a result.
Edwinna had also met my tale of the debacle in the Caldera guild with a shrug. "Perhaps you're the best person to look into these, really. After all, you're the one who managed to not only pick up on the magicka embedded in them when they certainly don't read as enchanted to me, but also activate them. I really don't understand why Folms rejected the idea of working with you on them, but he's always been a..." Edwinna very obviously cut herself off. "So how are you coming along with Azura and the Box?"
Which was how I found myself researching propylon indexes. Truth be told, at the beginning I'd still have rather dumped the thing next to the Dwemer puzzle cube from Arkngthand as a relic of an embarrassing time in my life I'd prefer not to think on, but after the scene in Caldera my pride was on the line. Jamie egged me on by virtue of turning up with another one of the things a mere week later.
"Some pawnbroker was selling it. In Caldera, actually. Shame Mirel never sets foot outside the guild, eh?" She gave me a wink.
This one, it turned out, was linked to Hlormaren, another Chimer stronghold half a day's walk from Balmora (although said walk did include a rather steep climb according to my map). A careful inspection of the crystal left me feeling relatively confident I could repeat my feat. Not that I had any intention of doing so; Falasmaryon had been bad enough.
Jamie let that state of affairs go on for another week before she turned up with a smile on her face. She'd had to take care of some business near Gnaar Mok, and since she was on the Bitter Coast anyway she thought she'd investigate Hlormaren. It hadn't hosted any horrifying monstrosities, had however been the headquarters of a group of slavers. "Had" being the key word in that sentence. The place was, she told me firmly, now entirely deserted.
With no real excuse, and with a trained warrior ready and willing to come along for the journey, I found myself standing on the roof of Ajira's building one crisp Frostfall morning, propylon index in one hand, Jamie firmly clutching the other. I had no intention of leaving her behind, and had a vague idea skin-to-skin contact might help with that.
I was also wearing my guarhide boots, freshly treated with a mix of kwama cuttle and shalk resin just the night before. Some mistakes you don't make twice.
For the first time since my impromptu trip to Falasmaryon, I inspected one of the propylon indexes with my magical senses while holding it. Crystal cool against my skin, it was so much easier to feel the hum, the connection leading off into the distance. However, it wasn't going to go off unprompted. Whoever had made it had taken more care than that, I could feel – hadn't wanted anyone who picked it up at risk of being flung through space to a stronghold. No, you had to prime it – feed it a little of your magicka. Like...
So.
Hlormaren's propylon chamber looked much the same as Falasmaryon's. It was only once we exited that the differences became apparent – trees laden with lichen surrounding the fortress, the glitter of sunlight on the sea to the west, and of course the stink of swamp.
Swamp we'd have to trek through on our way back to Balmora. Why had I agreed to this again?
"Well. I bet you Mirel hasn't managed this yet." A pause. "I wonder what ingredients there are to be found in the swamps?"
At least Jamie knew what to say to make me feel better.
The trek back to Balmora went surprisingly smoothly. It was, of course, rather soggy... at least on Jamie's part. On my own, I quickly remembered my water-walking spell, which made traversing the swamps significantly less wet than it might have been otherwise.
"You have got to teach me that spell," Jamie said after I freed a coda flower from the center of a murky pool, balancing on its surface all the while.
"Er... sure?"
I'd tried not to let my skepticism shine through, but I'd apparently been unsuccessful because Jamie scowled. "I'll let you know I'm not completely incompetent, you know! I may be unable to tell lichen from pond scum, but I'm very good at Restoration – I don't see why Alteration should be different."
"Sorry, sorry!" My attempts at teaching Jamie to recognise ingredients for herself had not had much effect, and it had left me a little dubious of my friend's magical abilities. Which was unfair of me – after all, I'd hate for someone to judge me solely on my abilities in the realm of Mysticism. "I-"
I found myself distracted from apologies by the water-walking spell wearing off. Thankfully, I was no longer in the center of the pool. Unfortunately, I was still on its edges, and the feeling of falling from what used to be a steady surface into swamp muck is really not one to be repeated.
"Nchow!"
To give Jamie full credit, she didn't laugh – in fact reached over to help me back onto dry land. "I don't think I recognise that one. Dunmeris lessons going well, then?"
"Well enough."
My experience in Maar Gan had made me look into seriously trying to learn the language. It turned out that several priests from Balmora Temple, led by one Llarara Omayn who'd turned out to be a friend of Ervesa's, held lessons thrice a week in the downstairs classroom of the Ald'ruhn guild. I'd jumped on the opportunity, although I had to admit...
"Mind you, that one we weren't taught in class."
No, for my newly-gained more colourful vocabulary I could thank Tanar Llervi, our guild smith-enchanter, and her stream of invective when her forge wasn't running hot enough, her soul gem supplier was running late, her lunch was cold, or (I was starting to suspect) the sky was blue in a way that displeased her.
"What's the point of learning a language if they don't teach you how to curse properly?" Jamie sounded insulted on my behalf. "I've been thinking of joining those classes, but I might have to think again."
"I'd join anyway." Carefully, I wiggled my toes, then stepped forward. Although the outside of my boot was coated in mud, my foot only felt as damp as sweat would warrant and there was no squelching sound to be heard. Thank the Nine for the treatment I'd decided to administer yesterday– it seemed to have kept the water off well enough. "You just have to keep Tanar company for an hour and you'll know all the curses you could ever need," I continued as I gave my other foot the same treatment. "And it's turning out quite handy."
Even just offering Dunmeris greetings had resulted in a definite thaw in many of the native Dunmer I ran into. The effect was dramatic enough I'd started making a concentrated effort at the language, setting aside at least an hour every day to practice what I'd learned so far and look up vocabulary we hadn't covered yet but which I figured might be useful. (Llarara hadn't taught us a single plant yet! I had no idea where her priorities were.)
"I'll keep that in mind," Jamie said as she watched my efforts. "A lot of Redoran really isn't too keen on outlanders, it can only help. Ready to go?"
After that, I took much more care when it came to recasting my water-walking spell before it ran out, and the rest of the journey back to Balmora went smoothly. It rather surprised me – at this point I was used to any journeys in the wilderness getting quickly derailed by naked Nords, ash storms, random strangers in need of rescue, and similar such horrors. As a result, it came as something of a shock to climb to the top of a steep hill and see Balmora spread beneath us in the evening twilight with nothing more than my tumble having occurred on the trip.
"Same time Mondas?" Jamie suggested.
I couldn't find a reason to argue, especially once I offloaded my haul. I'd vaguely remembered from my early days on the island that coda flowers were valuable, and was more than happy to see this proven true. Sadly, this was less true for many of the other ingredients I'd gathered – the mushrooms, in particular. Probably not much of a surprise, since I remembered from my experiments with Ajira in my first days on the island that they didn't exactly offer much in the way of useful effects. Cienne actually didn't want to buy them at all for that reason; Methal was thankfully willing, but even with me haggling my very best the coin still didn't amount to much. I left the place once again brainstorming how I might get my hands on a decent-quality alchemy setup for personal use.
"And space to use it," Ajira added the next morning.
"How so?" I inquired as I slathered scrib jelly over my roll. My voice echoed a little in the empty dining hall.
After my initial escape to the Ald'ruhn guild, I figured it wouldn't be particularly prudent to head straight back to Balmora for the breakfasts. I'd resigned myself to missing out, only to find Ajira on the guild guide platform the next morning, bearing not just a bag filled with fresh spiced rolls and various toppings but also balancing a pot of Dulnea's tea. I had no idea what she'd done to talk the woman out of it... nor what I'd done to deserve such a good friend. I knew Ajira enjoyed the group breakfasts, and although Erranil joined us sometimes most days it was just the two of us.
"An alchemy lab takes room, yes? And it has special requirements. You must be able to heat the calcinator, must have a vent for fumes... even if friend Adryn chances across a grandmaster's equipment, she cannot simply set it up in the guild dining hall, can she?"
I brought my palm to my forehead. I should have thought of that.
"M'vith yah!" I swore.
I was coming to like the Dunmeris curses – for some reason, they rolled off the tongue a lot more easily than the Tamrielic ones ever had. I really needed to thank Tanar one of these days...
"Your pronunciation is excellent," Ajira observed.
"Thanks!" Ajira would know, I supposed. She'd proclaimed herself surprised I didn't speak the language already when she'd first stumbled on me bent over a sheaf of vocabulary – it turned out she was in fact completely fluent in it. Probably not a surprise, since she was from Vvardenfell.
"Particularly the th, Ajira thinks. Many speakers of Tamrielic she knows have trouble with it, great trouble – but friend Adryn sounds almost like a native."
I blinked in surprise. "Well, it's the same sound as in Ta'agra, isn't it? Like in rawlith, or thjizzrini."
Ajira's ears, relaxed against her head, stood straight up. "Friend Adryn speaks Ta'agra?" The astonishment couldn't be clearer if she'd taken out a headline in the Courier.
"Er, yes." I suddenly realised that our discussions about comparative linguistics had skipped over part of my own language skills. I'd told Ajira I'd never tried to learn a foreign language before, but not... "I've always known it. I honestly don't remember how or where I learned." Even as the words left my mouth, I could feel how odd they were.
It was one of the bigger mysteries of my existence: how a Dunmer child left in a village in Daggerfall came to speak Ta'agra. I knew it had been the subject of a number of hushed discussions. Do'kharza, who'd said I had a picture-perfect Reaper's March accent, was particularly interested and liked to suggest travelling to Anequina to see if we could find some trace of my history. "When everything is over," he'd say, and I'd happily imagine some past for myself filled with adventure and mystery and possibly Baandari.
By the time everything was in fact over, I'd lost both my protectors and my taste for looking back. This was the most I'd thought about my language skills in years.
"Ajira is grieved to admit she is jealous."
"Oh? Do you not speak Ta'agra, then?"
Most of the Khajiit I'd met in Skyrim had – handy for being able to keep in practice with it after Do'kharza was gone, never to mention lose my child's vocabulary and phrasing. Even if I was still at something of a loss for curse words, unlike in Dunmeris. Personally, I thought Dar'munaq had taken perverse pleasure in keeping his language squeaky-clean around me.
Ajira's mouth pulled into a grimace. "She wishes. But no. You must understand Ajira's family, you see."
"Oh?" I poured myself a cup of tea, then leaned back. This sounded like a story.
"It begins with Ajira's grandfather's grandmother. Ajadhi, was her name, from Quin'rawl. A beautiful land, of wild jungles and ancient temples, blue seas and sandy shores. Unfortunately for Ajadhi, also a dangerous land, with hoarvors and wamasu... and, some moons, slavers."
My heart sank. I could tell where this story was going and I didn't like it. "She was captured?"
Ajira nodded gravely. "Captured and taken to Morrowind, never to see her jungles again. Her daughter Nisaari was born in the slave-camps of a Dres plantation, sold to Hlaalu when she was still a kit. And do you know what slave-owners hate? They hate their slaves speaking a language they do not know. A lullaby to a crying child could be fomenting rebellion, after all. And so Nisaari spoke only little Ta'agra, and her children none at all."
I bowed my head at the weight of pain in that story. A language might seem a small thing in comparison to all else that had been lost... but in the last month I'd learned myself how hurtful it could be to be unable to speak your ancestral tongue.
"And so Ajira does not speak Ta'agra, just as her friend does not speak Dunmeris," Ajira said, echoing my thoughts. "But at least Adryn is learning, yes?"
"Are there no classes for Ta'agra? Nobody willing to teach? Surely some of the free Khajiit in Morrowind can speak it."
Ajira waggled her hand in a side-to-side motion. "There are fewer not from Ajira's background than you might think. And when it comes to the Khajiit from Elsweyr, there are... differences of opinion regarding certain matters. It makes some relations fraught." Leaving that impressively vague statement behind, she continued. "Ajira has not heard of classes."
The words I'm sorry were on the tip of my tongue. A helpless statement, that, one that spread its hands and said it is an awful thing you tell me, but there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is express my sympathy and move the conversation to happier matters...
The words were on the tip of my tongue but stayed there, arrested by a niggling impulse. It was the same impulse that had led to any number of unpleasant happenings over the last few weeks, involving kagouti, naked Nords, murderous Velothi, and of course we couldn't possibly forget Varvur. Alas, even knowing the likely consequences didn't stop it from growing stronger and stronger, replacing the words I'd been planning to speak with ones quite different.
I sighed in defeat and promised myself that Athyn Sarethi would not hear of this.
And that was how I found myself giving Ta'agra classes.
They weren't originally intended to be classes. I was rather dubious of my ability as a teacher, never to mention shy in front of large groups. No, I agreed to try teaching Ajira some of what I knew and figured that would be the end of it. However, lingering near the guild guide platform the next morning I was surprised to find two passengers coming from Balmora instead of the expected one. Jobasha came out of the teleport with a stately nod, teapot in one hand and a notebook in the other. Given his proximity to people that would be able to call certain events I was doing my best to avoid down on my head, never to mention a certain favour I'd been hoping to ask of him, I decided acquiescing to the unexpected extra student was the best part of diplomacy. And since I'd agreed to one extra already, I felt I couldn't turn down Ri'Shajirr and Baissa who showed up the next day. And only a monster would be able to refuse little Ma'Vija...
To make a long story short, one thing led to another, and by the end of the week breakfast was getting unwieldy enough that I found myself asking Edwinna how one went about reserving a classroom.
Edwinna's initial reaction was surprisingly wary – I suspected a story involving illicit use of guild rooms hiding behind her skeptical look, one I'd quite like to hear – but her skepticism turned into delight when told of the purpose. "It's an excellent idea," she said. "The Dunmeris lessons have been very popular, and Vala's course in basic literacy is one of the mainstays of the guild. I've been wanting to arrange more classes for the public – it's just difficult to find anyone with the necessary expertise who's also willing to teach. Would you mind if we advertised them?"
I paused. It was a fair suggestion, even if I thought word of mouth was already doing all the advertising they needed. All the same, I had some very good reasons to want to avoid drawing attention.
Considering the events of my first weeks on the island, this might admittedly look rather like barring the gates with the frost troll already inside. However, if I'd managed to avoid drawing Guild attention up until now, I'd really like that to continue.
Edwinna apparently noticed my hesitation. She added, "Of course, as the Mages' Guild would be profiting from your activities, we would be willing to pay you for your time."
Images swam before my eyes... alembics, calcinators, bubbling potions in a small but well-appointed alchemy lab. One of those cloaks Bivale Teneran's shop under Skar was selling now that the days were growing cold, beyond my means thus far thanks to the hood lined with imported snow fox fur from Solstheim. A filled bookshelf. Enchanted earplugs.
"Done," I said instantly. Then my sense of self-preservation caught up with me. "...can we at least keep my name off the adverts?"
"I suppose so," Edwinna said, shooting me an odd look. Apparently it wasn't a request she'd expected me to make.
"I like my privacy," I tried to justify myself without using the words fugitive, Thieves' Guild, dragged back to Skyrim, or anything else that may have described the true state of affairs but still constituted things my guildmistress Did Not Need To Know. "Besides, it's probably better if we don't shout the fact that a Dunmer is teaching the class from the rooftops."
As I said the last, I realised it was a valid argument in and of itself. I hadn't missed the looks some of my new students had sent my way. Given how they'd come to lose Ta'agra in the first place, it was hardly a wonder if my presence as a teacher grated... but that still didn't mean I cared to make myself a target for any young angry Khajiit.
"Well, if you say so." Judging by her nonplussed expression, Edwinna, like the good absent-minded scholar she was, had missed the undercurrents entirely. "It shouldn't be a problem to keep your name out of it, anyway. Now, what time slot were you thinking?"
One of the advantages of my new role as Ta'agra tutor to what was beginning to seem like half the free Khajiit in western Vvardenfell was that it gave me the opportunity to interact more with Jobasha. After a few awkward starts, we'd mutually decided to forget about any initial meetings involving blackmail, Jobasha's contacts in the Thieves' Guild, him getting me arrested for murder, and other such trifles. This was fine by me, as it allowed us to form an acquaintanceship on a much more solid foundation: namely, books. Jobasha claimed his to be the finest bookstore in Vvardenfell. That title was no exaggeration, because his ability to procure rare volumes was unparalleled. I was beginning to think that if he decided the Oghma Infinium would look good on his shelves, it would be there within weeks.
Today, he stayed near the doorway as the rest of my class filed out and I poured myself some water from a flask, throat dry from near an hour of speaking. In any other person, I'd have called what he was doing dawdling, but Jobasha was far too dignified for any such activity.
"Jobasha has some of the items you were asking about," he said once the rest of the group had left. "Here."
A thick book was pressed into my hands. It was bound in brown hide inscribed with sinuous curling patterns that spread in three lines across its front, another along the spine.
"It is quite difficult to find books written in Ta'agra these days," Jobasha told me. "Alas, Jobasha could not find one accompanied by Tamrielic. He hopes this will do – it is called Hazura di Ahnissi-ro Shir'fado, his sources tell him." He pronounced the words very carefully.
"Thanks, Jobasha. I'm sure it'll be fine," I said with more confidence than I felt.
Unfortunately for the breadth of my classes, although I knew how to speak Ta'agra perfectly well, I'd never learned to read it. It was a lack I felt quite sorely when I was standing at the front of a slate-board with a piece of chalk in my hand, with Baissa's eyes boring into me silently communicating her disbelief that a Dunmer claimed to be a suitable teacher for the language of her people. I'd known vaguely that Ta'agra didn't use either the Tamrielic or the Daedric alphabets, but figured that with both of them under my belt, my codebreaking skills, and the fact that I was fluent in the spoken language, I'd be able to figure it out easily enough given an example.
Studying the book now, I felt this had been something of a rash claim. The winding patterns looked very pretty. Decorative, in fact. The thing they did not look like was anything I could recognise as writing. I'd been expecting something more familiar – I couldn't even make out distinct letters.
"And here," Jobasha interrupted my worrying. "Jobasha apologises for the wait – his contacts said it was not easy to find. They also said they could not lay hands on an imbued one at all, which Jobasha also apologises for."
This second book was bound in leather much darker than Hazura's undyed hide, and it bore only a single sigil, a stylised eye embossed in a gleaming green metal my trained eye identified as orichalcum. The symbol of the Illusion school.
"Thank you so much," I told Jobasha as I took the tome. I wasn't surprised it had taken some time to find. Books like this, which described a specific spell well enough a reader with a basic foundation in magic could use them to learn it, were very uncommon in Morrowind at the best of times. Imbued books, which bound the knowledge magically so that the reader could pick them up near-instantly, were entirely unknown. I wasn't sure why – I'd always found both sorts very handy myself – but apparently people around here preferred to learn directly from a teacher.
This spell, of course, was one I'd rather not ask one of my guild-mates for. Although after my experiences on the island so far I thought I had genuine need of it, I figured it would still raise some rather unpleasant questions. Jobasha, of course, had all the discretion of a professional, never to mention that he already knew more than enough to destroy me should he ever desire to.
"How much do I owe you?" I asked Jobasha as I slipped both books into my bag.
"Hmm..." His whiskers twitched. "Jobasha feels he cannot, in good conscience, ask money for the Ta'agra book, as he expects to profit from it himself. For the other... one septim."
I didn't haggle, although I had to admit it hurt me to pass over a gleaming septim coin with no argument. But it wasn't as if he'd already had the book on the shelves. It had been a special request and he'd clearly gone to some effort to find it. Haggling would be disrespectful.
Jobasha gave me a steady nod as he took the coin. "I hope it treats you well."
Later that evening found me in the library, studying my new acquisition. Privacy, sadly, was rather hard to come by as an apprentice staying in the guild, especially on days when one of Edwinna's Dwemer excavation troops was in Ald'ruhn to give her their artifacts, deliver their reports, and (to my eternal regret) go celebrate their return to civilisation with lots and lots of drinking. Still, hardly anyone used the library this time of day, and there was a small table and chair tucked away behind the Theoretical Philosophy section which was invisible from the more frequently used areas. I'd used it before and it worked well enough.
And speaking of things being invisible...
I frowned down at the tome which was open in front of me. The description of the spell wasn't easy to follow, but my ability at minor illusions was serving as a better foundation than I'd expected and I thought I was ready for my first attempt.
Invisibility, I'd decided while crouching behind boxes in Arkngthand, would be an incredibly handy spell to know.
"Like an illusion, but build the magic up far more before you let it go," I muttered to myself as I got to my feet and moved into a casting position. "Then make sure it covers you completely, not a gap left..."
I concentrated. After a moment, green light flared-
The Breton woman was short, shorter than me, wearing a plain dress and apron with her dark hair piled in a complicated knot on top of her head. I wasn't the best with faces, but I felt reasonably sure I'd never seen her before. Those icy blue eyes would have stuck in my memory, I was certain.
"Can I help you?" I asked, making sure my body blocked the doorway. If I didn't know her, she had no business in the back rooms of the Skeever's Nest... nor, of course, in what they connected to.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Her voice was light and high-pitched, with a distinctive Daggerfall accent. Unfair as it was, it immediately grated on me. I didn't like being reminded of Daggerfall, and had gone to some effort to rid myself of my own accent years ago. "I didn't mean to interrupt, but the sign outside said you were looking for barmaids?"
I relaxed. Just a prospective employee for the public front, it seemed. Recent events had made me paranoid. "Of course. You'll want to speak to Hrednolf – stay here, I'll get him for you."
I turned to head back into the corridors. This time of day, Hrednolf should be in his office. He'd better be, I thought grumpily, because I didn't have time to chase him down. I was supposed to be meeting Charon and Ingerte right now, except that one of the junior members had grabbed me on the way gabbling about someone being at the door asking to speak to someone in charge. I'd have words for her, later – it should have been obvious that what had been meant was in charge of the inn, not-
A whisper of cloth from behind me.
"Oh, and by the way, Adryn?"
She knew my name.
I whirled, but too late, far too late, because the spell was already in flight.
Green light enveloped me. I tried to scream – the inn was packed, a single shout and my guildmates would come running – but to no avail. The spell was already threading its way through my limbs, around my throat, and my body refused to obey me.
The last thing I heard before the magicka reached my heart was, "It isn't wise to stand against the Thief-King."
The spell fizzled and died in my hands. My heart was beating as though it was trying to escape my chest, my hands were shaking, and I really, truly wanted to be sick.
Forcing down the bile took some work, but I refused, I absolutely refused to vomit in the library. I was in charge of my body and I said it was not going to throw up.
Exactly the way I hadn't been in charge of it when-
Blood on my hands-
"Stop it," I whispered. "Stop. It's over, it happened, there's no point in thinking about it-"
The second night bell had rung before I was calm enough to attempt the Invisibility spell again. A futile effort, it turned out. Even though I didn't have another flashback, the green light flaring around me immediately sent me jerking backwards, the structure of the spell lost in panic. I tried closing my eyes, but it didn't help. Apparently it was enough that I knew it was an Illusion spell I was casting. And the feathery feeling of the invisibility magic as it enveloped my body felt exactly the same as being hit by the spell, before it had-
Before I had-
I bit savagely on my lip and tried the spell again. This time, it fell apart almost immediately, not even reaching the point of producing light.
Eventually, I let myself drop to the floor beside the desk I'd been using. My hands were trembling faintly as I wiped at the cold sweat that beaded my forehead.
"Curse it," I whispered. "Curse it."
A hysterical giggle rose in my throat as I considered telling Edwinna that there were, in fact, not one but two schools of magic I was unable to wield effectively. My minor illusions didn't qualify – they were barely cantrips. One of the ways one could tell this was because they, unlike proper spells of the school, didn't come with the classic green light that characterised the Illusion school.
The green light that apparently now gave me actual panic attacks.
"Molag Bal take it-"
After a long moment, I pulled myself back to my feet, trying to squash down my turmoil as I did so.
So I wouldn't be able to learn the Invisibility spell after all. Well, it had been a long shot in the first place, since I didn't have much experience with the school and the spell would probably have been too advanced for me anyway. I'd just have to rely on other methods. Potions sprang to mind – there had to be a recipe that didn't involve ground diamond.
And as for my suspicion that my inability affected all major spells of the school? No matter, surely. True, Chameleon would also have been nice to know, but it wasn't as if I'd been planning on learning any of the others. I wouldn't inflict a Command spell on anyone if my life depended on it. That extended to all the other mind-altering spells as well. Charm, Calm, Frenzy, Rally... whatever the effect, I wasn't going to take away someone's free will like that.
After all, I knew what it was like.
It isn't wise to stand against the Thief-King.
I fought down a shudder.
At any rate, what was left? Night-Eye? I had good night vision, and there were always potions. And I wasn't an adventurer, was planning to stay well out of any situations that might require combat spells like Blind or Silence. No – I could do without the Illusion school.
Decided, I gathered up my belongings. The Invisibility tome went on top of the stack, to be returned to my cupboard and begin gathering dust. Maybe I'd ask Ajira or Jamie if they had any use for the thing. It'd be a shame for Jobasha's efforts to go to waste, after all. I suspected Jamie didn't have the skill required for the spell – a natural mage, she was definitely not – but if she managed it, surely it would come in useful. Or perhaps Ervesa...
Head full of plans, I left the library, doing my best to leave my past behind as I went.
It wasn't long after my failed attempt at invisibility that Edwinna called me into her office.
"Thank you for coming, Adryn," she greeted me. "How's that report on the organisation of the Dwemer government coming along?"
"Pretty well, I think. I had trouble finding sources regarding the semi-independent city-states, but then I found a lot of useful information in Dreth's The Aetherium Wars..."
We chatted for a little longer about my latest research project before Edwinna got to the point.
"I have something I'd like you to take care of," she told me. "I'd handle it myself, but I've been so occupied with the latest excavation report from Nchuleftingth, I just don't have the time right now."
I paused, wary. This sounded suspiciously like a departure from my usual, guild-bound, distinctly non-life-threatening duties. They'd been a welcome change, and I wasn't at all eager to go back to what had preceded them.
"What were you thinking, exactly?"
"I need someone to pick up a potion from Skink-in-Tree's-Shade, in Sadrith Mora. I requested it a while ago, and he hasn't gotten back to me. I need it by the start of next week, so time is running short."
"A potion?" What kind of potion? And why not have Anarenen make it, or Ajira, instead of going all the way to the Sadrith Mora guild? Or me, for that matter?
Edwinna must have read my questions off my face. "It's a Detect Creatures potion, but capable of detecting Dwemer automata as well as living beings. We're going to start the initial investigation of Arkngthunch-Sturdumz next week, and it's always a huge help if we can get the rough number and location of active automata off the bat. Skink is the only one I know with the skill to brew the potion to the strength required. He was an alchemist before he made chapter head, you know." She gave me a stern look. "Which is not permission for you to pester him about the recipe. Skink is very busy, I'm lucky he even agreed to help."
"So... I just head out to the Sadrith Mora guild, get the potion, and come straight back?" I decided to verify. I was still rather wary of diverging from my routine but the whole thing sounded harmless enough, and who knew... of course I wouldn't pester the (I guessed from the name) Argonian, but if he happened to be in a sharing mood...
"Exactly," Edwinna confirmed. "You're free to refuse, of course - it's nothing to do with the Dwemer, after all."
I was still considering it when a thought occurred to me.
"I don't suppose I could do this tomorrow around noon?"
Edwinna blinked, looking a little confused. "Well, when exactly doesn't matter much to me, provided I have the potion before Mondas..."
"What I'm hearing," I interrupted her loudly, "is yes, Adryn, I need you to get the potion tomorrow at noon exactly. Which is fine, absolutely fine, and I'm delighted to take this task on, thank you very much, I'll have the potion for you by the end of the day." I shook her hand to seal the deal and turned to leave.
As I walked out the door, I heard Edwinna mutter, "I swear I understand apprentices less and less every year." My mind, however, had left the guildmistress in favour of contemplating the exact wording of the letter of apology I'd be sending to Athyn Sarethi in order to explain that I would not, after all, be able to make lunch tomorrow.
Sarethi had been very insistent on trying to meet with me again, and I'd been having an increasingly hard time coming up with scheduling conflicts to explain why I couldn't make it - hadn't been able to create one at all for lunch tomorrow, in fact. Edwinna's task was a real stroke of luck in that regard, one I was definitely not letting pass unused.
And at the end of the day, how hard could it be to pick up a potion?
Chapter 21: Chapter Twenty
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
One week later found me in front of Edwinna's desk again. This time, the atmosphere was far less relaxed. In fact, Edwinna looked rather as if she were fighting a migraine.
"Adryn. It's good to see you." The reason I liked Edwinna was that even though the sight of me seemed to be causing her physical pain, she sounded perfectly sincere. "I'd appreciate it if you could explain the events of the past week from your perspective."
"Um." I shuffled my feet. This was distinctly unfair, I thought. I'd been planning on letting those events pass into blissful oblivion. "Are you sure you need to know?" Wait a moment. "What do you know, anyway?"
"Well," Edwinna said drily, "Just now, I received a message from Athyn Sarethi offering me his thanks and gratitude for a member of my guild aiding in the rescue of not just one but two members of Redoran who'd been held hostage by the Telvanni."
The silence stretched.
"Ah. Yes. That." I swallowed. "He's exaggerating mercilessly, you know. One of them really rescued themselves. I was more of an innocent bystander."
For some reason, this did not have the reassuring effect I'd hoped for. "Adryn, could you just-" Edwinna took a deep breath. "Let's start at the beginning. I'd asked you to pick up a potion from Skink-in-Trees'-Shade and come straight back. What happened?"
I supposed I couldn't get out of explaining.
According to the Argonian head of the Sadrith Mora guild, he'd started the potion for Edwinna but it wasn't quite ready yet. Another hour, he said. It still needed to finish reducing, he said. Personally, I thought he'd forgotten about the thing entirely and was going to rush off to brew it, but decided to keep that theory to myself. Between Trebonius, Ranis Athrys and Blowfish, I was already on bad terms with far too many guild heads. Better not to add to that number.
"You may go back to Ald'ruhn and return, or wait here," Skink-in-Trees'-Shade suggested.
Faced with two bad choices, I fought down a grimace. Although – or perhaps because – I was allowed free transport as a guild member, I tried not to annoy the guild guides by using the service frivolously. I was quite certain Erranil would be less than impressed if I travelled between Ald'ruhn and Sadrith Mora four times in under two hours. On the other hand, the Sadrith Mora guild made the Caldera guild look luxuriously spacious. All the services were crammed into a single room, and there was no sign of private spaces such as dormitories or a kitchen at all. Nor, I couldn't help but notice, a chair where a visitor might sit and stretch out their legs.
"Or," Skink broke into my thoughts, "you could help me with a small matter."
"Oh?"
"There is a guild member, Tenyeminwe, staying at Dirty Muriel's Cornerclub. She wishes to travel to Vos for her research, but she is afraid to travel to the harbour alone and has asked for someone from the guild to accompany her. None of my people have the time, but if you are waiting anyway..."
I gave the Argonian a very suspicious glance. "Exactly why is she afraid to travel alone? What does she think will happen?" This sounded like bodyguard work, something I was (needless to say) absolutely not suited to. I'd had such a nice run of purely academic work in Ald'ruhn, I didn't feel like ruining it with another guild duty that required combat skills.
Skink let out a long hiss, head-frill flattening. "Paranoia. Tenyeminwe fears she has offended a Telvanni. I have made enquiries and know that the Telvanni in question left Sadrith Mora three days past. Tenyeminwe has not listened to this."
Uleni, who'd been quite obviously listening in, snorted loudly. "Afraid of her own shadow, that one. I don't know why on Nirn she thinks she needs an escort to walk a hundred yards in the middle of the city, but she doesn't want to pay the Fighter's Guild and all of us are too busy. You'll do it, Adryn, right? I'm getting tired of her hanging around."
"So I let myself be persuaded despite my second thoughts." I decided not to mention that the persuasion might have involved a promise that Skink-in-Trees'-Shade would make a copy of the potion recipe for me. Edwinna had asked me not to bother him about it, but she couldn't possibly have expected me to truly ignore such a thing, and since he was asking a favour already...
"And to be fair," I continued, "we didn't run into any trouble on the way to the docks. However, when Tenyeminwe wanted to buy passage to Vos, we found something of a problem."
"What do you mean, you're not sailing?" Tenyeminwe's voice was shrill. No wonder – our brief walk from the tavern had made it obvious that for all the Sadrith Mora mages dismissed it, her fear was quite real. How utterly panicked she'd been was obvious thanks to the fact that I'd noticed at all, given that I'd spent most of the walk gawking at Sadrith Mora architecture (had I ever called the buildings in Balmora organic? Or the ones in Ald'ruhn strange? How utterly ignorant I'd been, considering that the Telvanni used giant living mushrooms as their architectural medium).
The captain was unmoved by the Altmer's clear distress. "Just what I said. Not sailing. Bad omens."
Tenyeminwe inhaled. I looked at her face, decided that whatever she was about to say was unlikely to improve matters, and intervened.
"Good day to you, captain," I offered in my best Dunmeris. Then, switching back to Tamrielic, "Please excuse my companion, she wishes to go to Vos quite urgently. Could you tell us what sort of bad omens are keeping you from your journey?"
The woman gave me a nod far friendlier than anything she'd offered Tenyeminwe. Overall, plan Learn Dunmeris was meeting with great success even in this part of Vvardenfell.
"I stayed at the Gateway Inn. In the middle of the night, I was woken by a restless spirit. I offered it the Five Blessings, but it would not calm. I offered it salt, flame, and blood, but it only grew angrier." The woman touched her cheek. Three parallel scratches lay on it, as though something had clawed her.
"How ghastly!" whispered Tenyeminwe. Personally, I suspected her horror had more to do with the existence of an angry ghost than its behaviour. Mine did too, but I'd gathered enough about native Dunmer beliefs at this point to suspect that the captain's reaction had a different cause.
"Indeed," the woman said, although she shot Tenyeminwe an odd look. "It is clear that my ancestors are displeased. I must pray to discover why and beg their forgiveness. I will not cast off while this hangs over me."
Tenyeminwe gulped.
"So I investigated," I explained. "The whole story smelled fishy to me, and it was clear that the woman wouldn't be sailing anywhere until we got it cleared up."
"Very diligent of you, especially considering none in the guild would have blamed you if you'd simply escorted Tenyeminwe back to where she was staying."
That thought had occurred to me. In all honesty, I might even have chosen to forego the promised potions recipe. However, there had been another matter that tipped the scales.
I'd suspected the woman would make quite the scene if forced to return unsuccessful. This would of course not have bothered me at all, except for the minor fact that quite a few of the patrons of the cornerclub had seemed... familiar. Not in person, but in nature. And then there had been the small symbol scratched into the wood of the doorframe, where I didn't know the meaning but could certainly guess it.
Having now run into a third of their lairs, I gathered that the Morrowind Thieves' Guild did much the same as we had in Windhelm, using taverns as fronts for the operation. It was enough to make you reconsider ever setting foot in a public house again. Thankfully, I was reasonably sure I'd managed to get Tenyeminwe and get out without attracting undue attention. However, I'd been far less sure of being able to do the same on a return journey, especially if I had a hysterical Altmer in tow.
Edwinna was still looking at me, eyebrow raised. Obviously, I couldn't tell her the truth.
"Oh, I felt bad for Tenyeminwe. And it still didn't seem like such a difficult thing to look into." I moved smoothly forward in my retelling, hoping Edwinna would forget about my unsatisfying reasons for getting involved. "It wasn't, in truth. I spoke to the innkeeper, and it became clear that the cause of the haunting was a Conjuration expert who thought playing pranks was an appropriate response to impoliteness."
Edwinna groaned. "Uleni."
"Exactly, any guild member could have told you who the culprit was at that point. I spoke to her and she agreed to stop." The fact that I'd been able to say, quite honestly, that Tenyeminwe would be staying in Sadrith Mora until the problem was solved, had probably gone a long way to make her willing.
Given relations between the Telvanni and the Mages' Guild, I decided Edwinna didn't need to know the fact that learning that a Conjuration expert was responsible had, in fact, required a trip to the Council Hall to speak to one of the high-ranking Telvanni there. And she certainly had better stay ignorant of the fact that when I went to report my success, another had caught my arm on the way out.
"Outlander," she'd whispered, "know that House Telvanni always welcomes those with talent and ambition. If you wish to join us, speak to the Mouths at the Council Hall." I obviously had no intention of taking up the invitation (honestly, as if Athyn Sarethi hadn't been bad enough!) but I still thought it might give the wrong impression.
"So," Edwinna said, looking rather bewildered, "you're saying nothing happened during the investigation. Then where do the Redoran come in?"
I winced. I'd hoped we could avoid this part of the tale.
"Well, after the whole thing was done with, I went to get Tenyeminwe..."
Tenyeminwe had flatly refused to accompany me on my investigations. Probably for the best, since I suspected she'd have fainted on being asked to enter the Telvanni Council Chamber. (Which wasn't meant as an insult. I'd almost fainted.) However, I couldn't very well ask her to stay standing at the docks, the ghost-ridden captain didn't want her on board until her haunting was dealt with, and taking her back to the corner club was not an option. I silently cursed Skink for sending me in there, and was planning to give it a wide berth from now on.
Instead, I'd found a small eatery on the northern side of town that had outside seating beneath spanned tarps, with enchanted stones set in the ground at regular intervals providing warmth despite the chill of the day. Seated at a table just next to the stalk of the mushroom-tower and beside one of the heat-stones, Tenyeminwe was nearly hidden from the street and, I'd thought, able to await the result of my investigation in comfort. Approaching now, I noticed the Altmer's face was pale and her eyes darted around. Whatever Skink said about Tenyeminwe having nothing to worry about, one only had to take a look at her to see that the woman was genuinely afraid.
"Well?" she asked when I came up to her, tone snappish.
"Everything sorted," I told her. "It was a... prank, of sorts. The offender won't do it again, and I think I managed to convince the captain the whole thing had nothing to do with her ancestors being displeased. She's willing to leave dock again, at least." I decided that I probably shouldn't let Tenyeminwe in on the identity of the culprit. Her expression promised pain to the person who'd inadvertently delayed her.
Alas for guild harmony, Tenyeminwe had clearly spent enough time in Sadrith Mora to be familiar with all the guild members. "Uleni," she spat, golden eyes narrowed. "That thoughtless, juvenile little ayamindel. I should..." She shook her head as though trying to shake off her anger. "No. Never mind. It's not important. You say the captain is willing to sail to Vos?"
"Yes. Come on, I'll bring you to the docks." And then, I added silently, finally pick up the potion from Skink and get transport back to the Ald'ruhn guild. This whole thing had lasted rather longer and involved more detective work and close contact with Telvanni than I'd really planned on.
Tenyeminwe grew even more tense when we were on the streets, to the point where I was relatively sure that if I poked her she'd jump straight out of her skin. (After once again considering guild harmony, I decided not to test that theory.) "I will be so glad," she said with a shudder, "once I'm out of this horrible city. I don't think I'll ever get the smell of fungus out of my clothes."
Altmer are a strange lot. They have a reputation for arrogance which can be unfair – I've certainly met friendly, not at all stuck-up High Elves. However, even the easygoing ones often have a certain... blind spot, shall we say, regarding the time and place to share certain opinions. My theory is that it's a cultural difference regarding the value of honesty. Perhaps it's possible to wander through Lillandril loudly talking about how terrible the architecture is, how ugly the decorations, how foul the air, and the natives will simply take it as given. (It was probably a good thing for my health that I'd never gotten the chance to test this.)
If so, this trait was definitely not one the Dunmer had inherited from the Aldmer, because I could see heads turning and scowls growing at Tenyeminwe's declaration. I winced.
"Well," I said loudly, "I for one think it's very impressive. And you can barely smell the fungus at all."
Strangely, the glares did not subside at this declaration.
I was so busy worrying about whether we were about to become a cautionary tale for visitors to Sadrith Mora – oh, those two outlanders, we never saw them again – that I entirely forgot to keep an eye on Tenyeminwe. I realised this was a mistake when her hand wrapped around my arm with such force that I could already feel bruises forming.
"Hey!"
"Shhh! This way!"
I found myself summarily dragged into the nearest building.
"I feel the need to point out that this isn't the way to the docks," I said as I was towed.
Tenyeminwe didn't answer until the door had closed behind us. Then she turned back to me. The lighting in here was strange, flickering greenish mage-lights that threw dancing shadows over everything, but even with that I could tell she was ghastly pale.
"It's him," she hissed at me. Clearly my blank stare was also visible through the lighting, because she narrowed her eyes and spat out, "Madalas! The Telvanni who's after me!"
Not in Sadrith Mora, hmm? I'd have words with Skink-in-Trees'-Shade when we next spoke.
I tried thieves' logic. "Has it occurred to you that if we'd just kept quietly walking, he might have overlooked us, whereas he's almost certainly noticed you panic and run for..." I looked around.
I hadn't paid attention to where we were, and had thought Tenyeminwe had made for one of the many little mushroom-pods holding small shops that dotted the street. However, the hall we were in right now was far too large for that – would have been able to hold three of those fungus houses with room to spare. And this wasn't all there was to the building, judging by the spiral stairs cut into a root at the center of the hall, or the round corridors leading off from the sides.
There were, in fact, only two buildings on the island that could have held this entrance chamber, and I'd already seen the Telvanni Council Hall.
"...for Tel Naga," I groaned.
"Ah. I see." Edwinna paused. "How... unfortunate."
"I admire your talent for understatement." I rubbed at my temples. Edwinna's incipient headache was apparently contagious, or perhaps it was simply being forced to relieve this memory, but either way one was definitely building. It was, thankfully, a dull throb rather than the sharp stabbing pain I'd somehow become prone to of late, but I'd like to hold it off all the same.
"You must have run into trouble. I can't believe Master Neloth would be particularly patient with uninvited guests."
"At first, surprisingly enough, no – everyone left us alone. I thought about it and decided that the guards must have assumed we were meant to be there, because nobody would be so indescribably stupid as to wander around a Telvanni mage-lord's tower without permission, right?"
This line of argument (repeated at length in ever greater detail and increasing volume) hadn't made much impression on Tenyeminwe at the time. In fact, she'd flatly ignored me in favour of claiming we needed to make our way even further into the building in order to hide. Edwinna, however, blanched.
"I... take your point. So what happened after 'at first'?"
"Well," I said mournfully, "then the first Redoran showed up."
If it was luck that had let us remain unaccosted so far, it had just run out. Because the next guard we saw stopped short when he saw us. Worse, he grasped the hilt of his sword, armour clattering.
"What's this, then. More spies?"
The words were Dunmeris, the accent unfamiliar but I understood him well enough. Beside me, Tenyeminwe made a puzzled noise, clearly unable to say the same. I very quietly thanked my lessons and the smattering of truly odd vocabulary I'd picked up from my independent studies. This situation, I felt, would not be improved by me not understanding the word spy.
"Ah- a good day to you," I replied in the same language. Alas, this did not improve the man's disposition. If anything, the anger radiating off him deepened. I didn't know how to feel about plan learn Dunmeris letting me down like this. "We're not spies, we're lost-"
Wait, had he said more spies?
My eyes slid past the guard to focus on- yes, there was someone standing behind him. A Dunmer girl in plain, ragged clothes with crimson hair, probably a few years younger than me, glaring at the guard fiercely. Her wrists were bound, with a magicka-draining cuff clasped around one of them...
My eyes narrowed. Something about the knots wasn't right.
The guard shot us a contemptuous look. "Very funny, n'wah. As-" The words that followed blurred together into incomprehensibility (why did they have to speak so cursed quickly?) but I was fairly sure I could guess at their meaning: given that we were not supposed to be in Tel Naga in the first place, what else could we be?
I was silently cursing Tenyeminwe when the captive drove all thought of how we'd gotten here out of my mind. In the course of accusing us of espionage, the guard had turned his back on her, and this proved to be a mistake when she sprang into motion.
For a moment, my vision blurred and I found myself transported back in time to Vivec. Another guard berating me – another crimson-haired woman taking advantage of his distraction –
Thankfully, this time the attacker proved far less murderous. When the flurry of motion died down there was no blood anywhere, and although the guard was lying flat on the ground I could see his breath stir strands of hair that had fallen across his face.
A whimper came from behind me. I guessed Tenyeminwe was not particularly keen on this turn of events.
"Thank you for distracting him, outlanders," the girl said briskly (in Tamrielic, thank the Nine). "He wasn't giving me an opening, and I wasn't looking forward to having to escape from my cell a second time."
I looked at her. Looked at the unconscious guard. Looked back at her.
"Can someone please explain to me what just happened?"
"Certainly! I'm Nartise Arobar, daughter of Miner Arobar. The Redoran Councillor," she added in a condescending voice in response to the blank look that must have been on my face. "I was... looking for something in Tel Naga, but I got captured. They were going to use me to blackmail my father. I didn't much care for it." She shrugged. "You're clearly not Telvanni, so you're going to help me escape Sadrith Mora now."
The words were spoken like a pronouncement: this was the way Nartise had decided the world would be, so it had better follow suit. My stomach sank.
"See, like I said, she rescued herself. I had nothing to do with it. I protested quite strongly when she dragged us along, in fact."
"I'm sure you did, Adryn." At least Edwinna sounded sympathetic. "Although I have to admit, I still don't understand how you ended up at Tel Fyr."
"Ancestors, don't remind me." I buried my face in my hands.
Initially, in Sadrith Mora, things had seemed to be going well – surprisingly so, considering how far off-track we'd gotten. Nartise had made use of the unconscious guard's armour, and the guise of escorting two lost outlanders firmly to the exit had gotten the three of us out of Tel Naga with no further ado. More, Nartise also wanted to make for a ship off the island, giving her and Tenyeminwe common cause.
Our luck ran out when we rounded a corner and had clear sight of the docks. To my relief, the ship for Vos was still there (something I hadn't been at all sure about, since the captain had seemed eager to get going). To my horror, so too were a whole troop of guards, looking unfortunately alert. They'd been joined by a dark-haired Dunmer wearing very expensive-looking robes that gleamed with enchantment. Judging by Tenyeminwe's sudden stillness, I could guess who this was.
"Right," said Nartise, "let's try something else."
Something else turned out to be a ship tied up further along, on a little solitary pier stretching into the water. There were quite a few figures waiting patiently to board. Many wore plain robes with the hoods up, and some moved with an odd shuffling gait. The general population of Sadrith Mora, I couldn't help but notice, were giving the group a wide berth – guards included.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked as Nartise stripped off her guard armour behind a bush. "I don't like the look of that ship-"
Nartise shook her head sadly, as though I were being embarrassingly naive. Given that she was, in fact, not just a pampered noble but also (conversation had proved) three years younger than me, it smarted. "Well, we hardly have a choice, now do we. The three of us need to get off this island for a while, wait for the furor to die down."
"Wait. Three of us?" I'd been planning to leave Tenyeminwe and Nartise at the docks and make my way back to Wolverine Hall...
...except that if they were watching the docks, they'd almost certainly be watching the entrance to the fort as well. I didn't know if Tenyeminwe's pursuer had seen me with her, or if I'd been connected to Nartise's escape.
It really shouldn't come as a surprise given my previous misadventures, but I still marvelled at the fact that a simple errand to fetch a potion had gone so badly wrong.
Stowing away on the strange ship was easy. Too easy, in fact. Almost as though the captain figured nobody in their right mind would want to be on board. I had the terrible feeling I should have asked a few more questions.
"Right. Passengers!" the captain barked after we'd cast off from dock. Her voice was strangely muffled, and peeking out from our hiding place showed that she was wearing a cloth mask covering her mouth and nose. Much like Tashpi had, when she was dealing with illness in Maar Gan.
My terrible feeling grew stronger.
"Next and final stop," the captain continued, "Tel Fyr. Someone will be at the docks to direct you to the Corprusarium. There, you will be cared for with cutting-edge treatments developed by the greatest member of House Telvanni, Divayth Fyr himself. You will not want for anything, and the remainder of your lives will be made as comfortable as possible."
One of the passengers choked out a sob. It trailed off into a horrible gurgling noise.
"I have full sympathy for your plight. However, I am warning you: I am a fully-trained mage with a specialty in the Destruction school. Should any of you attempt to stay on board the ship after we land, or come within six feet of me at any time, I have permission to use lethal force."
I turned my head slowly to look at my two companions. Tenyeminwe looked as confused as me. Nartise's face, however, was white with fear. I hadn't even known she was capable of that emotion.
"Care to explain what's going on?" I whispered.
"We're on a plague ship for corprus."
I couldn't help but notice that Edwinna had stood up from her desk and taken several large steps back.
"None of us actually caught corprus," I hastily reassured her. "Alfe Fyr checked us over, she had a diagnostic spell."
A very interesting diagnostic spell, because I'd been willing to swear it wasn't of the Restoration school. It had reminded me of nothing so much as a Detection spell... my variant of Detection spell, in fact. I'd wanted to ask her about it, but – let's face it – at the time we had bigger things to be concerned about.
"That's... I'm very glad to hear that." Edwinna took her seat rather more slowly than she'd vacated it, still looking a little shaky. "I apologise for the reaction, it's just-"
"No need," I broke in. "I don't blame you in the slightest. Good common sense, always good to see in a mage. Frankly, given the things I've learned about corprus in the last week, I think running screaming would also have been appropriate. Sera Fyr had some stories," I explained at the prompting of Edwinna's quizzical look.
The woman had been distinctly unimpressed by the tale of how we'd gotten to Tel Fyr, and I'd had the impression she'd wanted to drive home just how stupidly reckless we'd been and exactly what could have happened to us. Personally, I could have done without the ruthlessly graphic descriptions of how the skin began to slough off in the second stage of the illness, but at that point she hadn't seemed particularly inclined to listen to anything we had to say. I couldn't even blame her.
"Sera... Alfe Fyr, did you say? Some relative of Divayth Fyr, I presume – his wife, or daughter?"
"Something along those lines, I think. I got the impression that the details were a little complicated, and I didn't want to pry."
"'Good common sense, always good to see in a mage'," Edwinna quoted me, voice dry. "If I were to rank all the mages on this island by how little I wanted to be their enemy, Divayth Fyr would be first on the list, just above Archmagister Gothren, Skink, and Master Aryon."
I quietly made note of the inclusion of the head of the Sadrith Mora guild on the list.
Although...
"Everyone in Tel Vos seemed to like Master Aryon a lot, though."
Edwinna, who had trouble keeping her hands still at the best of times, had picked up a small gear on her desk and begun fidgeting with it. Now, the motion stilled.
"You- how on Nirn did you end up in-" Edwinna swallowed once. Cleared her throat. "It occurs to me that I interrupted you before you had finished. My apologies, Adryn. Please do continue with your story."
For some reason, the sharp-eyed humourless woman in glass (glass!) armour who'd picked up on us stowaways at the dock was, in fact, perfectly fine with the three of us simply wandering around Tel Fyr after she'd finished her interrogation. Needless to say, this did not align with my experience of rich people's homes in the slightest.
Then again, we'd also been remarkably unmolested in Tel Naga. Perhaps Telvanni were something of a special case, with the staggeringly powerful mage part taking precedence over rich person. In my experience, powerful mages also weren't too keen on uninvited guests but perhaps those mages just hadn't been staggeringly powerful enough? After all, judging by Tenyeminwe's explanation when I'd asked who Divayth Fyr was, the man was in a category all his own. She'd been appalled that I hadn't heard of him before.
Well, perhaps I had. The name had seemed familiar, after all. Most likely I'd run across him in a book in Skyrim but immediately dismissed the information as irrelevant to my life. After all, how was I to guess that one day I'd wind up on Vvardenfell with a mad Redoran dragging me to the man's home via plague ship?
"Can we please go back now," Tenyeminwe said. It wasn't the first time those words had left her mouth, and by now they were suffused with a palpable aura of despair. I had to admit I knew how she felt.
"And turn down the opportunity to investigate Divayth Fyr himself? When we've practically been given an open invitation? What sort of cowards are you two, anyway?" Ah, Nartise's Redoran upbringing was clearly shining through.
Personally, I wasn't sure I'd term it open invitation. I distinctly remembered Alfe Fyr saying something along the lines of Father finds adventurers amusing, he only incinerates three out of ten.
More to the point...
"I'm perfectly happy to be a coward, thank you very much. But... Tenyeminwe, if you can think of a way off this island, I'm all for trying to sneak back to Sadrith Mora. The question is, can you? Because I certainly can't, given that that captain didn't seem inclined to stick around."
Nor would I have bet much money on us arriving safe, sound, and with the same number of people we'd started out with. The woman had not been amused by us stowaways in the slightest – subjecting ourselves to Alfe Fyr's diatribe had seemed like the safer choice in comparison.
Which, of course, now left us in something of a bind, considering the distinct lack of any sort of transport connection to the island.
I paused, struck by an idea. "Unless one of you knows Almsivi Intervention, or the like?"
I wasn't going to admit to my own knowledge of the spell. We hadn't yet reached the point where I'd consider it worth the risk (which was another way to say that we weren't currently facing imminent death.)
Shaking heads around me, Tenyeminwe looking distinctly downcast. Nartise, on the other hand, sounded positively cheerful when she said, "I had an amulet, but they took it off me when I was captured. I guess I have no choice but to poke around the extremely powerful, mysterious Telvanni's tower to find a, a teleportation portal or something."
Tenyeminwe straightened. "That's right... they say Divayth Fyr is one of the foremost experts on extraplanar travel in Tamriel."
I blinked, shook my head in hopes it would help clear my mind. Something about that phrase, I'd heard that phrase before-
"They even say he's mastered travel to other realms!"
And suddenly I found myself distracted.
"Wait, you're saying that if we do find some... 'teleportation portal'... in here, it could land us in Oblivion? And you think this is actually preferable to waiting for a ship?" Even if the plague ship wasn't a regular event, the tower inhabitants had to get their food from somewhere. Surely it couldn't be too long before a supply boat docked...
But for some reason, the idea of being dropped straight into Quagmire or Coldharbour or the Shivering Isles made Tenyeminwe eager to go poking around, and so I suddenly found myself outnumbered. Faced with the prospect of sitting in the entry hall alone while my companions got up to who-knew-what – and not just who-knew-what, but who-knew-what which I was liable to also be blamed for – I grudgingly opted to go with them.
At least this way, I told myself, they'd have a voice of sanity along for the ride.
My justifications grew steadily weaker until they dwindled away entirely. It didn't matter much, because Edwinna gave no sign of having heard them. Instead, she had her face buried in her hands.
After a moment of silence, she looked up. I had the impression she was steeling herself.
"So. How many apologies do I need to make to the Telvanni on behalf of the Mages' Guild?"
I felt indignation flare in my chest. "None, of course. Do you think I made my affiliation obvious through any of this? Just wandered round saying hello, I'm Adryn from the Mages' Guild, now you know who to complain to if I break anything? Or rescue any prisoners?"
Edwinna visibly relaxed. "Of course not. I'm sorry, some of our members... but I should have known you had more sense than that. Do go on."
Appeased, I continued my tale. "It started out fine. Nobody seemed particularly bothered by us, probably because I managed to keep the other two from entering any areas marked as restricted. Then..."
"...you couldn't restrain them anymore?"
I squirmed. "Um. Actually, the next part was my fault. I was using my detection spell," at a very short range due to all the walls in the way, but I felt even a split-seconds' warning of people approaching would be better than none, "and I felt someone in a locked room."
Since my conversation with the Bosmer scout about how unusual my Detection spell was – and, of course, the potential for turning this into monetary gain – I'd taken the time to practice and try to refine it. To some degree of success: a month ago, I was fairly sure, I'd only have been able to pick up that the signature belonged to a person of some sort. With my new efforts in fine-tuning the results, I'd been able to tell that said person was young, female, not particularly magically powerful, and scared. Scared not in the sense of immediate panic, but in a dull, hopeless way, as though she'd been trapped in a bad situation for so long the fear had sunk into her bones.
It was a feeling I was familiar with from the inside, for reasons I didn't care to think about, and (I was forced to admit) my sympathy had overwhelmed my sense. I'd had my lockpicks out before I knew it.
"Ah," Edwinna said. "I take it this is where the second Redoran comes into the picture."
The lock of the door snicked open to reveal a Dunmer girl, probably around Nartise's age, blinking at us in confusion. Her eyes went from my face to Tenyeminwe's. When they reached the third member of our group, recognition sparked.
"Nartise? What are you doing here?"
"Delyna?" was Nartise's response. "What – all right, that's definitely my line! Where have you been, your father's been going out of his mind with worry-"
"I..." A guilty expression came over the girl's face. "I was going to spy on the Telvanni for Father."
It was possibly unfair of me, considering I'd heard all of two sentences' worth of explanation, but I still felt confident that this plan had not been particularly well thought-out.
Judging by her expression, Nartise felt the same. "And you decided to start with Divayth Fyr? Of all possible people?"
"It's- I- I overheard Father worrying that he was developing political ambitions. Because his former apprentice is now on the Council – Master Aryon, you know?"
"Believe it or not, Delyna, much like any Redoran with more brains than a kwama I know the major players of House Telvanni-"
"Well, Father thought it was worth worrying about! And I'd heard that Fyr's tower is open to the public, so I thought it'd be easy to poke around a bit..." The girl – Delyna? - heaved a sigh. "It was at the start, but almost the moment I went into an area marked 'restricted' this woman caught me. Bound me with a spell before I could react. She, er, she locked me in here saying I should spend some time to think about my actions... and then they left me there. I don't actually know how long it's been."
Nartise groaned. "Leave a note or something next time, will you? I lost your trail in Sadrith Mora, thought you were somewhere in Tel Naga. Got myself... temporarily inconvenienced looking for you. It's pure luck we ended up here, really."
"Luck I could do with more of." The girl looked up at me and Tenyeminwe, who'd been following the conversation in appalled silence. "Um, hello! I'm Delyna Mandas. Thanks for rescuing me."
"I. Sure. You're welcome," I said blankly, then my mind caught up to events. "Are you- you're a Redoran, aren't you."
"Yes! My father is Arethan Mandas, I'm sure he'll reward you-"
"How do you people keep getting kidnapped."
"...excuse me?"
"I swear," I ranted, "I am going to start another class. How Not To Get Kidnapped, run by Adryn, open to all and any children of Redoran nobility. My credentials are that I've somehow managed to avoid getting kidnapped thus far, unlike what sounds like all of them."
"I'm sure it's a good idea." I couldn't help but feel Edwinna wasn't quite taking this seriously. The corner of her mouth was twitching in a rather suspicious fashion, for one. "So... that's indeed where you found the other Redoran. A good thing you picked her up as well, by the way – her father has always been a rather highly-strung sort, and gossip had it he was all set to abandon his position and run off to do something no doubt exceptionally reckless with his men-at-arms. But, I have to ask – I'm still not clear on where Tel Vos fits in."
I heaved a sigh. "Well, we ended up needing to leave Tel Fyr in... rather a hurry. I did tell them I had a bad feeling about that door, but Nartise insisted... anyway, as luck would have it I spotted a propylon index on a nearby dresser at around the time the clannfear materialized. At that point, I figured our life expectancy would be higher in some random Chimer fortress, especially when the fireballs started expanding-"
Edwinna looked as though she was going to some effort to avoid asking. "So it sounds like your study of the propylon network is coming along very well," she said instead.
"What? Oh – fairly well, yes. I'm still working out the link between them – there is one, I can feel it, even if I haven't been able to get it to react – but I can consistently use the indexes to teleport to each chamber. A good thing, too, because Indoranyon was a lot less dangerous than Tel Fyr. I mean, there was the one angry Altmer mage, but he calmed down when he saw Tenyeminwe. Apparently they knew each other from somewhere."
More to the point, there'd been a distinct lack of horrible shambling ash-beasts – although I had to admit I hadn't investigated the fortress to make certain.
"Indoranyon." Edwinna's brows drew together in thought. "That's... where is that again?"
"On Azura's Coast. Not that far from Vos, actually. Tenyeminwe wanted to go there from the start, and since neither me nor the Redorans had a better plan, we just headed there. Passed through Tel Vos on the way." Edwinna, I decided, didn't really need to know about the other detours involved. "You know, every time I feel like I've seen the strangest architecture Morrowind has to offer, it produces something new. I'm a little afraid what it's going to be next."
To all appearances, Tel Vos had started off as an Imperial fort, much like Castle Dour in Solitude or Fort Moonmoth near Balmora... except that at some point, a Telvanni wizard had come along and decided, as I was beginning to realise was typical for Telvanni, that it would look far better with more mushrooms. Nartise had said it was considered a sign of pro-Imperial sympathies on the Master's part. Personally, the thick roots punching their way through stonework and housing pods looking down on the ramparts had struck me as more of a metaphor for Telvanni supremacy, but I hadn't argued.
"I've heard about Tel Vos, yes," Edwinna told me. "Not seen it myself because, you understand, as a Mages' Guild member I'm reluctant to go wandering around the Telvanni regions." She gave me a pointed look.
"Yes, rub it in, why don't you." I took a breath. "Although I'd like to point out that after that, there was very little wandering around at all! Tenyeminwe went to the chapel in Vos, and was I must say remarkably ungrateful for the fact that I'd escorted her not just to the docks but all the way to her final destination-"
"I can't imagine why."
"-and me, Nartise and Dal... Del... whatever the other one's name was again took a boat from Vos to Dagon Fel to Khuul, and the strider from there back to Ald'ruhn. No adventure involved, unless you count Nartise discovering she gets seasick." I was forced to admit to some malicious pleasure at the last. Nartise and I had not gotten on – it was probably a Redoran thing.
"Of course. A very uneventful trip, I'm sure. Although, for the record? I suggest you remember 'the other one's' name when her father approaches you to thank you for her rescue."
"Or he could not. Let's do that instead."
"Now, leaving your adventures aside for the moment-"
I was perfectly agreeable to this, and would be delighted to extend for the moment to for the rest of forever. In fact, my main complaint was why Edwinna couldn't have taken this stance from the start.
"-it's good you got back when you did, Adryn. I'm leaving for a conclave on the mainland in a few days and will be gone for two weeks. I'd like to make sure you're all set for duties before I go..."
Edwinna elaborated, I nodded and made agreeing noises at the right intervals. The tasks she had in mind for me were primarily academic in nature, with yet more books Edwinna wanted me to read through along with a report on the structure of the Dwemer government in Vvardenfell she'd like me to have done when she got back. I was also, she informed me, free to continue my work on propylon indexes, since I'd been making such excellent progress with them. Was I familiar with the little table in the corner of the enchanter's workroom yet? It boasted some very fine-grained magicka analysis spells, and Edwinna was certain Tanar wouldn't mind me making use of them if I was careful...
Glaringly conspicuous by their absence were any suggested duties that would require me to leave so much as the guild hall, never mind Ald'ruhn. All things considered, I really couldn't blame Edwinna for that.
The blade whistled over my head, close enough I suspected the slash had taken some of my hair with it. I didn't wait for the Nord to recover from his lunge. My return stroke ripped into his stomach, my next mercifully slashed open his throat. As he crumpled I danced away to face my next opponent.
He immediately showed himself, a figure even taller than Dumac clad in carved steel armour and hefting an axe. Gloomily, I noted that the armour included greaves and a helm. No, this warrior would not be nearly as easy to take down as his fur-clad predecessor.
Faster than I expected, he struck. I spun to the side just in time, only for him to dodge away from my follow-up stroke. Oh, this wasn't fair at all. A Nord that size clad in armour that heavy should be a lumbering brute – how was it that he was quick, too?
We circled each other, flakes of ash puffing up from our steps. The rest of the battlefield seemed to have grown quiet, the two of us in a bubble of silence all our own. He feinted; I declined to fall for it. I retaliated with a swipe – he deflected my spear-blade with the haft of his axe. Stalemate.
Then, my opponent inhaled.
At the beginning of the war, it would have gone badly for me at that point. However, at this point in time I'd spent years fighting the Nords' best, years going over each battle after it happened. Dumac and I had sat up late into the night time and again poring over their thum, their strange magic cast with the voice alone. Somewhere in my pack was a whole precious notebook full of the strange words and what they brought, each and every one learned the hard way.
As a result, I threw myself desperately to the side the instant I heard that intake of breath, too deep and too loud, as though air were being drawn into bellows the size of a centurion. By the time even FUS left the Nord's mouth, air pulsing with power, I was already well out of the way. The blast that escaped after the RO DAH missed me by feet in favour of slamming into a Dwemer who'd been fighting behind me. I winced as the woman went flying.
"He's a Tongue!" I shouted, with significantly less magical force than my opponent. "Stay away! Leave him to me!"
We'd also learned the hard way that taking on one of the voice-magicians in a group often resulted in high casualties. Far better if a single warrior took them on, one who was highly agile, with excellent reflexes and a great deal of experience fighting against the thum.
Five one thousand, six one thousand...
One of the things a great deal of experience taught you being roughly how long they needed to recover between Shouts.
Unfortunately for me, the Nord remained an excellent warrior even without his magic,
parrying my searching thrusts with ease. One stab did make its way past his guard, but glanced off his armour. The recoil sent a shock up my arms. With it, the sensation of magicka: the armour was enchanted, with some sort of strengthening spell. No wonder he moved fast in it.
He couldn't get close enough to attack, not against my weapon's longer reach, but I couldn't get past that armour. By rights, the fight should drag on until one of us made a mistake.
Except there was the one factor.
Twenty thousand, one-and-twenty... Soon he'd be ready to Shout again. I tensed, wondering what the man would throw at me next.
But when the Nord opened his mouth to speak, there was no magic in his voice.
"I didn't realise any of you fjeigvaring elves had the honour for a proper holmgang."
I would have liked to laugh bitterly, but I needed my breath. I made do with baring my teeth at the man.
"Honour? Oh, say more about honour, northman." My own, distinctly nonmagical voice should make my contempt clear, but Nords were often thick about these things and I was an indifferent speaker of their language at best. I spat to ensure my opponent couldn't miss my disgust.
Beneath the helm, I could see the eyes – far too round and an alien, icy blue – widen. "I am one of the most powerful Tongues, master of the thu'um, friend to the Braedrahjaf Joerrvaskr, a warrior of honour-"
"Oh? Then tell me, warrior of honour, for what you fight?"
The man faltered. Only for an instant, too brief to capitalise on, but I saw it and pushed my advantage home.
"You fight for burn our villages? Kill our elders and children, steal our things? Hunt the Dwemer in their homes? I cannot see the honour in this things. Cannot see your warrior gods approve to them. But, as you say," I threw the full force of my contempt into the words in hopes it would cross the language barrier, "I am only an elf, I do not understand of such things. So, northman. Please. Tell me."
The man took a step back, hands clenching around his axe. His mouth worked silently, his eyes fixed on mine-
Not on my weapon.
Quick as thought, I spun my spear up, driving it towards the unprotected skin of his throat. He was distracted, unbalanced, in no position to dodge-
FEIM!
Just before the point made contact, the man's outline blurred, becoming ghostly and transparent as though he were an ancestor spirit. My own eyes widened in shock as the spear went straight through him with no resistance at all.
Well, that was a new one.
Having seen that he wouldn't be able to dodge, I'd put my all into that strike. I was paying for that misjudgement now. There was no way to recover my balance – all I had was a split second to tuck myself in.
Here, my own armour paid off. Chitin might not offer the protection of Dwemer armour or the plate the Nord was wearing, but it was light enough I managed to turn the fall into a roll. I came back up in a crouch, hand reaching out to grasp the spear I'd dropped when I hit the ground. Still, I lost precious moments to my folly, got to my feet just in time to see the man shimmering back into the physical realm.
"Witch-elf," he growled. "Trying to enfenge me with your lies, eh. Well, I won't listen."
Witch? I'd heard heksa often enough to be sure that was the correct translation, but only one of us was using magic in this fight and it wasn't me.
Although, really, that was an idea.
Not that I could Shout in the way of my opponent. Oh, I'd tried to learn it. The rumours had it Tongues spent a decade or more learning their craft, but I liked to think I was smarter than the Nords... and there was something strangely familiar about the language, something that made me think I should be able to pick it up. To no avail, unfortunately. I suspected I was missing some key component.
But, I thought as I circled my opponent, there were other types of magic.
I discarded my birth-sign with barely a second thought. The ability was reckless enough one-on-one – if I used it in the middle of a battlefield, either the enemy would kill me or Sil would.
Sil would be expecially unimpressed as he had taught me a range of useful spells to take its place.
Careful timing would be the key here. I didn't want the man to dodge into insubstantiality again, after all. And so I waited, using my weapon's superior reach to keep my enemy at a distance, until he lost patience.
FO KRAH DIIN!
The burst of cold along my arm told me I hadn't dodged the frost blast entirely. Still, my grip on my spear held, and I could even shift it fully so that my other hand was free. A minor injury at most, to be addressed after the battle. Not enough to foil my plans.
The instant the cold faded away, I struck.
The Nord saw his danger barely in time, jerking away so that the fireball splashed against his shoulder rather than hitting his face. Sadly, it looked like luck wasn't on my side, because the only real damage seemed to be a scorch-mark. He also didn't drop his weapon or lose his stance, and the look in his eyes as he stared at me was anger rather than pain.
"Witch," he spat again. "And I thought you-" The rest of the sentence was obscured by grammar (Nordic made talking about things one didn't believe true unnecessarily complicated, in my opinion) but I got the gist. He'd thought I was an honourable warrior, and now I had cheated by using magic.
Oh, how I wished I knew their word for hypocrite. I would have to paraphrase.
"So I throw fire you, it is a cheat. You throw cold me, it is a fair fight? I admit to not understand of this." I flourished my spear so its butt tapped the cracked ground to my left, where frost still bloomed across the ground. You started it, the gesture said.
Inexplicably, that accusation broke through his guard. I didn't understand why – surely even a child, even a Nord could see the parallels between our actions – but his eyes widened, he took a step back.
"I... The thu'um is not..."
I saw something behind him and briefly had to suppress a triumphant smile. All I had to do was keep him distracted – but our conversation was doing that nicely enough.
"Not the same?" I asked, taking a careful step forward. "Same to me. Same to my people. If you to burn a Wise Woman's yurt, you think she cares if you to cast spell or shout yol?"
Those tenses definitely weren't right, but judging by the wince the Nord understood me anyway. He took another step back. I followed, taking care not to slip on frost. Come on, just a little further...
"My people do not-!"
"They do." My voice was colder than the ground underfoot. "They did. I saw them."
Back. Forward. "It's- it's different, it's-"
Back-
Even as the Nord stumbled on the ridge of rock he'd backed into, I was already in motion. A small part of me held back, ready for my lunge to connect with only air – we'd talked for a while, enough for his magic to recover, he might Shout himself untouchable again-
But the Nord realised his danger a crucial second too late, and the sweep of my spear took his teetering legs out from under him while he was still inhaling. He crashed into the ground like a felled tree, the collected power dissipating harmlessly into the air as the impact blew the breath from his lungs. Unlike me, he did not get up again.
I took a step back, gripping my spear in both hands. Readying myself.
I always found this part distasteful, but there was nothing for it – I couldn't leave him behind to come at me again. I'd have to finish him off while he was helpless-
"Nerevar!"
Dumac?
My fight had taken almost all my focus, with barely enough attention paid to my surroundings to make certain I wasn't about to be stabbed in the back. Coming out of the battle-rush now felt like surfacing, blinking, from a pool, as the rest of the world began to filter back in.
And, as it turned out, it had changed in the time I'd been submerged.
The sound of battle, of war-cries shouted over the clash of weapons, was gone. The moans of the wounded and dying remained, but they were mixed with broken cheers. Cheers in Chimeris, for the most part, some Dwemeris as well. And indeed, as my eyes scanned the battle-field, I found these were near the only two peoples I could see. There were only few figures left standing in Nordic gear, and all of them had their heads bent in defeat.
"We... won?"
Dumac had reached me now, a fact he decided to celebrate by one large gauntleted hand clapping me on my back with enough force to almost send me to my knees. "We did, friend! The pincer attack worked perfectly, the remnants of their army are in full retreat. It only remains to gather our wounded, the fallen... and see to our prisoners."
Our eyes both went to the figure sprawled on the ground before me.
My erstwhile opponent had propped himself up on one arm. Judging by the expression on his face, he'd been going through the same thought process as me.
"My people lost?" Then, after a pause, "I lost?"
He sounded incredulous, disbelieving. For some reason, I couldn't muster much in the way of sympathy.
"I saw the end of your fight," Dumac said to me. He didn't bother to keep his voice low – almost none of the Nords spoke Chimeris. "He's a Tongue, no? Safest to kill him now." His hand dropped to his dagger.
Generally, we tried not to kill our prisoners. Most we took as slaves. Some, those we felt certain would not take up arms against us again, we sent back. Sul had been talking about arranging ransoms, although I had to doubt the Nords were civilized enough for such a matter. The Tongues, however, were an exception – too dangerous to keep captive, or to risk their returning in vengeance, the few we'd managed to bring down we executed after the battle.
I let my eyes trail over the battlefield again. As far as I could see the dead lay strewn on the ground. Cliff-racers wheeled overhead, beady eyes trained on their meal. In places, they'd already descended. A breeze blew my way, carrying the scent of blood and feces with it.
I was so tired of killing.
It spoke to how well Dumac knew me by now that the thought had barely begun to take hold when he apparently read it off my face. Or so I surmised based on his groan. "Really, Nerevar?"
I ignored him in favour of making my way to stand over my fallen opponent. I kept a hand on my spear, a wary ear out for the inhale of the thum, but although his eyes tracked me as I approached the man didn't attack. Nor did he make any move to get up.
Any other time I'd have enjoyed the sensation of looking down at one of the Nords (one that, thanks to our respective heights, was distinctly unfamiliar.) Not now, however. It was as though there was no room left in me for more emotion, all drowned out by a strange cold fury rising within me.
So many dead, over the course of this war. So many of my own people, of the Dwemer. So many of the Nords, even, our three races alike in death.
What an utter, unforgiveable waste.
"You yield?" My voice didn't sound like mine, low and deadly. I let my spear drop until the blade was resting lightly against the Tongue's throat, kept it kissing his skin as the man swallowed.
"I... I do." Less anger than I was expecting, in its place sheer disbelief. As though the Tongue found it inconceivable that he could be beaten, the physical reality of the matter aside.
A flash of gold from the corner of my eye, the groan of metal to my left. Whatever his private misgivings, Dumac was still coming to stand beside me.
"I am Indoril Nerevar, and this is my ally Dumac." I took a deep breath. "Tell me, Tongue, why your people attack us."
At first, the man didn't respond, simply staring up at us blankly. I pressed the spear a little tighter, in warning.
"I... I have no good explanation. I thought..." I let my spear drift back a little as he swallowed, throat bobbing. A thin red line showed where the blade had rested. "I thought it was an honourable battle, a herlige conquest in Kyne's name. But if Kyne were truly in favour, why would she let me lose?"
My gaze jumped up from the Nord to meet Dumac's, both of us united in confusion. I did not expect Lord Boethiah to fight my battles for me – no, if my skill faltered, they would justly turn their back. Dumac, of course, believed only in the strength of his arms and people. Neither of us would take a loss in combat as anything more than a signal to train harder.
Well, we'd always known the barbarians had strange beliefs. The details weren't that important now... except in how I could turn them to my favour.
"So you think to fight is not just, now?" I probed.
"I must, though it be hard to slykja."
The unfamiliar word was clear from context. I inhaled, feeling more nervous than I had during the whole fight. Not that much of a surprise, in truth, because I hadn't had time to be nervous – had been forced to give my all to keep up with the Tongue. If things had gone just a hair differently, I'd be the one on the ground now.
Should I be wrong about this, I'd be releasing a very dangerous enemy.
But I didn't think the man at my mercy had much deception in him. And should I be was right...
Well. Should I be right, the payoff might yet be enormous.
"If I to let you free," I ignored the disapproval radiating off Dumac at my side, "you go tell your comrades to not fight?"
The man squeezed his eyes shut, as though in pain, but his answer came quickly. "Yes. I... we must have done wrong, for Kyne to take back her favour. We must besinjan to find the correct path."
"Very well." The nervousness was gone as though it had never been. My decision was made, my die thrown. Only time would tell what side it would show in the end. "You... what is your name?"
"Jurgen Wind-hruvir, jarl Nerevar."
A jarl was something like an ashkhan, wasn't it? A good sign, if he'd come to view me as a leader. A sign this might actually work.
"Jurgen of clan Wind-hruvir," I said as I stepped back, "I let you free for return your home. I expect you speak with the other Tongues, make them leave us alone. If you to not be honest, if I to see you fight again..." I tightened my grip on my spear, put all the frozen death of the northlands into my voice as I continued. "You regret it."
The man dropped his eyes. "I understand and obey, jarl."
Fersta og folyda. I'd heard that phrase uttered many times as the Nords trampled our lands. I'd never dreamed it would one day be said to me.
I'd planned to accompany the man out of the battlefield, to keep any of mine or Dumac's forces from attacking him, but it was not to be. He got to his feet, nodded at me while thumping his chest in what I knew to be some strange Nordic expression of respect, and then-
WULD NAH KEST!
-even as I threw myself to the side in reflex, he vanished from sight to reappear on the next ridge over.
"I hope that was a good idea," Dumac murmured as we watched the man follow after his retreating people.
"I'm skeptical too," I admitted in a voice as low as his. "But he didn't strike me as deceptive. And imagine if it pays off! You know how the Nords view the Tongues. One preaching the war is unjust – it might cut the next ship-load of warriors in half all on its own."
"In a far less bloody way than we usually cut them to size. Yes, I can see why the plan appeals to you."
I flinched. My distaste for violence was something I tried to keep under wraps, as it was not a valuable trait for the leader of what was, by now, an army. Quite the opposite – many of those who followed me would likely think twice about it, if they knew how much my heart rebelled at the slaughter of war. But Dumac knew me well enough that there was little I could keep hidden from him.
"Well, we shall have to hope that it works out. I would be skeptical, but your plans do have a way of working out even when none would expect them to." I felt blood rise into my cheeks at Dumac's faith in me. "In fact, I shall borrow your optimism and say that perhaps, there will be no need at all, because perhaps there will be no reinforcements! Perhaps we have broken them here and they will flee all the way back to their lands."
I had to grin at Dumac's words. "The great battle of Red Mountain, eh? It has a ring to it."
"One for the history books, if you ask me. Now come! Battle or skirmish, we have won a great victory today. Tonight we will celebrate, and I insist that you take part!" Dumac's eyes twinkled. "Perhaps I will even finally get to see you drunk."
I pulled a face. "I doubt it, friend. Especially as before we celebrate, I must see to the casualties, the wounded-"
"-and a healer. Don't think I haven't noticed you favouring your left arm."
I'd been trying to put the angry ache that had replaced the freezing cold out of my mind. But- "It's just a minor wound," I told Dumac. "The healers have more urgent work to do."
"Perhaps, but after the cave-in incident I'd like to hear that from someone with training-"
"That was one time!"
Arguing, we made our way back towards the rest of our armies, putting the Tongue out of our minds.
"Watch your feet," Jamie reminded me. My gaze flicked from her down to the ground to confirm – yes, my feet were indeed in an awkward position. I quickly righted them, the toes of my boots digging into the sand.
"Footwork is the foundation of any fighting discipline," Jamie lectured. "If you don't make sure to position your feet well at all times, your battle is lost already. Now... you were doing well on the blocks and strikes earlier. Are you ready for a basic spar?"
My knuckles were white on the staff. "I don't suppose 'no' is an option?" I tried.
Alas, it was not.
After hearing of my latest adventure, Jamie had insisted I needed to undergo basic combat training. It had been the firmest I'd ever seen her about anything, and I'd found myself in the private Sarethi training grounds before I really knew what was happening. Needless to say, I was less than keen on this turn of events, but all protest had been in vain.
"It'd be downright irresponsible of me to let you keep running around Vvardenfell with no way to defend yourself, considering you're obviously unable to stay out of trouble. The staff is a good choice – cheap, versatile, easy enough to pick up, a classic mage's weapon. Neminda agrees with me, don't you?"
I was also less than keen on the audience. It seemed the Redoran steward Neminda and Jamie had struck up something of a friendship in past weeks, and my doom was sealed when the two started egging each other on regarding my lack of combat skill and how such a thing must be remedied immediately. Athyn Sarethi had professed himself curious, and considering that we were borrowing his family's private training hall it was hard to argue against his presence – I should probably be glad Varvur hadn't shown up. Why Methal was attending, on the other hand, was entirely beyond me, but he was watching the goings-on with every evidence of entertainment and had ignored all my attempts to get him to go away so far.
"All right. Careful, now. Imagine I'm a bandit on the road, and you need to defend yourself from me."
If I met a bandit on the road, I would do the sensible thing and run away, but arguments to this nature had had no effect so far and I wasn't expecting them to be successful now. With a sigh, I shifted back on my heels and watched Jamie warily.
Jamie struck at me with her own weapon. She did not make a particularly convincing bandit, as the strike was slow enough it would probably be insulting to anyone with any combat ability at all (an august group that did not include me.) I tensed, ready to bring my staff up in the block we'd practiced earlier-
-except that that was straight out of the beginners' exercises, and would leave me in no good position for an attack of my own after. I didn't care to leave control of the fight in my enemy's hands, not when the woman was moving so slowly she was begging for it to be taken away from her.
The woman – the mercenary, perhaps? She was no Nord, not with her strange dark-brown skin and black hair tamed into countless short braids, so what was she doing in Resdayn? I'd try to take her alive to question her, I decided.
I side-stepped, swung my spear to strike at her arm in a bone-breaking move I'd learned from Almalexia-
The world spun. My spear was too light and too heavy at the same time, my limbs too short, my muscles weak and unresponsive as though centuries of training had vanished in an instant, my whole body was wrong-
My opponent drew back, dark eyes wide. She shouted something-
"Adryn? What's wrong?"
-shouted something in a language I'd never heard before as I lost my balance and fell.
I blinked up at the cavernous ceiling of the Sarethi training grounds. "Ow."
Jamie's face swam into view, wearing a concerned expression. "Are you all right?"
I levered myself into a sitting position and took stock. My head was spinning, but the sensation was already fading and when I ran my hand through my hair (and why did I have the strangest feeling it should be shorter on the sides?) I found no lumps or sore spots. "Just bruises," I told Jamie.
"Well, that's a relief. But what on Nirn happened?"
Answering this question proved harder than it should have been, because my recollection of the past minute was unexpectedly fuzzy. "I... I tried to dodge, it was a reflex," I said slowly. "I must have gotten myself tangled up somehow and fallen."
Yes, that must be what had happened. Even if it was still puzzling – along with the power of paralysis, my birthsign gifted me with increased agility. I was used to all things requiring balance coming effortlessly, to say nothing of the fine control over my movements I'd learned for the purpose of stealth. My body hadn't let me down like this in years.
"I suppose." Jamie sounded a little skeptical. "Well, let's try that again. I'll move more slowly – try to parry my attack with the block I showed you this time."
I stood, gritting my teeth. Much though I didn't particularly think these lessons were necessary, it still bit at my pride to be defeated by my own feet well before Jamie even got near me with her weapon. I swore to myself it would go better this time.
It didn't.
Nor did the next, nor did it when Neminda came to take over from Jamie. My reflexes were apparently really quite something, because no matter how much I reminded myself of the blocks we'd practiced, as soon as someone came at me with a weapon of their own I tried doing something else. Inexplicably, 'something else' always ended with me stumbling over air, stepping on my own feet, misjudging the weight of my weapon and smacking myself in the face, or otherwise removing myself from the fight before my opponent could even try. At one point, Athyn Sarethi himself came down to assist, brow creased in concern. His soft voice and calm, clear explanations gave him, I thought, the air of someone who was probably quite a good teacher. If so, it was sadly not enough to outweigh my complete and utter hopelessness.
Only Methal stayed sitting the entire time, watching me flail around with an unreadable expression.
After what felt like half an eternity, I found myself lying on the ground, grit digging into my scalp, feeling rather as though I'd been worked over by a giant. My new nemesis, the stabbing headache, had also made a reappearance.
"I give up," I told the ceiling. "The bandit has defeated me. He can have my money, provided he carries me back to the guild."
My eyesight blurred. For a moment I thought I saw three Nords, clad in carved steel armour, axes at their sides, pale eyes staring down at me with identical grim expressions. Then I blinked, and the eerie figures were replaced by Jamie, Neminda and Sarethi.
"Magic, perhaps?" Sarethi suggested. "I don't like it – I think everyone should have a thorough grounding in basic physical combat skills – but it's become clear Adryn has some... unique challenges in that regard. Training in Destruction magic would at least not leave her defenseless."
Perhaps, I considered, this was all a dastardly plot. Because a few hours ago, if Sarethi had suggested I learn to fling fireballs at something I would have protested just as vehemently as I had the staff combat lessons. However, now – with my body one solid bruise – I'd welcome any activity that mainly involved standing still.
"I wouldn't recommend it." A figure in robes joined the others – it looked as though Methal had decided to involve himself in matters after all. "Relying solely on magic in combat is difficult. One hears tales of long-lasting armour spells, among the witchmen or the Psijics, but nothing credible has made its way to us. As such, the pure mage has close to no defensive capabilities and relies on killing or incapacitating his enemies before they can reach him. Not something anyone at novice or apprentice level would be capable of, needless to say."
"I'll take your word for it, Diviner, as I'm not particularly well-versed in magical combat."
"Of course, Councilor." Methal's lips quirked. I'd have called it a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "As it stands, Adryn has proven quite capable of getting herself out of trouble via... creative problem-solving, thus far. Perhaps it would be best if we left her to it, as the more conventional methods don't seem to be the best of fits."
"Thank you," I chimed in from the ground. "Exactly what I've been saying since this started."
There was a crease between Jamie's eyebrows, and a moment of hesitation before she responded. "I still think it would be good if you could fight at least a little if worst came to worst... but you're right that it certainly doesn't seem to be working." She sighed, a sound signalling defeat on her side, triumph on mine.
"It's all right." Now that it seemed clear no more people would be coming at me with sticks, I gingerly got up. It was a process involving a lot of winces and careful movements, even with Jamie giving me a hand up. I promised myself a detour by the hot springs for a long soak on the way back to the guild. "It's for the best, really."
"Oh?" Sarethi asked lightly.
"The thing is," I considered how to word this, "if you know you can fight your way out of trouble, that's always going to be an option for you. If you know you can't, then you have to find an alternative no matter what. And maybe that means you discover you can actually talk your way out of a situation after all, where the fighter would never have tried. I don't know about you, but personally I think less violence in the world is a good thing."
Sarethi frowned, silent, but Methal – who'd been listening with evident curiosity – responded. "An interesting theory. Do let me know how it works out for you."
I found myself distracted by magicka rushing over me, a brief wave of power that took the worst of my aches and pains with it when it subsided. I turned to look at Jamie in surprise. Healing other people was said to be more complex than healing oneself, and that had been a strong spell. I vaguely remembered her telling me she was good at Restoration magic, but given how poor her other magical skills were I'd assumed that still meant apprentice level at best. Unjustly, it seemed.
"Thanks," I told her. Then something occurred to me, and I added, "You couldn't have done that any earlier?"
My voice was just this side of a whine, but Jamie treated the question seriously.
"It's not the best of ideas to use magical healing when you're training. It keeps you from properly building up muscle, so you'd generally only use it if an accident results in a major injury. That goes for both spells and potions. However, since it sounds like you won't be continuing," Jamie's mouth twisted, "there's no reason for you to suffer."
Yet another reason to leave my combat skills the way they were. What a hard decision this was, truly.
"Come," Jamie told me. "I'll walk back to the guild with you. You still look a little shaky to me. Magic can only do so much, I guess."
I nodded my acceptance, resigning myself to the idea that this probably meant no hot springs tonight. Jamie was shy of the place, and she wasn't likely to let me head there alone. When it came to her friends' health she could be as fussy as Sotha Si-
My headache decided this was the opportune moment to prove Jamie's words about the limitations of magic true, seeing as despite the spell it was still capable of launching white-hot needles through my eyebrow straight into my brain. I cringed and rubbed my forehead. I didn't know what was causing these headaches – something in the air, perhaps, since I'd never had them before coming to Vvardenfell – but I was getting heartily sick of them.
I tried to distract myself by looking over the others. Neminda and Sarethi were gathering up the equipment we'd borrowed to practice (Neminda not looking particularly happy about the fact that her superior was getting his hands dirty) but Methal was still looking at me with a considering expression.
It reminded me of something I'd been meaning to bring up the next time I saw the man, something that had been driven clean out of my mind earlier through the threat of combat lessons.
"Say, Methal? Do you know when Ervesa is expected to be in Ald'ruhn next? There's something I was hoping to ask her." Or, to put it another way: I didn't know who else I could ask other than Ervesa.
"I really can't say." Methal spread his hands in apology. "The itinerary of a Buoyant Armiger is only known to them and to Lord Vivec, I'm afraid. That said, she's heavily involved in the investigation into the ash statues, and that's centered around Ald'ruhn. She's almost certainly going to be passing through regularly for the forseeable future – I can let her know you'd like to talk to her when she's next here."
"Thank you, I'd appreciate that."
Methal coughed. "If you don't mind indulging my curiosity, may I ask what this is about? I might be able to help myself, or be able to forward the message to Ervesa more quickly."
Breath coming in ragged gasps as I braced myself against the heavy wooden door – Tenyeminwe's terrified face when a shadow detached itself from the wall to float towards us – the figure's hood casting a deep shadow but I could still make out the fleshless skull beneath-
"It's about something that happened on my recent travels through the Grazelands." I paused. "It's... a private matter."
Not true per se, but believable enough, I hoped. Ervesa was the only person I knew who I trusted to have both an in-depth knowledge of local beliefs and customs as well as sympathy for a newcomer unfamiliar with them who might accidentally transgress. I was a little more wary of Methal, in the matter. One didn't get to a high Temple rank by petting kittens.
Methal's mouth pressed into a thin line at my rejection. It made him look much older, and surprisingly threatening. I took a small step back.
"Ah yes, your recent travels." Sarethi, who it seemed had been successfully driven off by Neminda, chose this moment to interrupt via resting a hand on my shoulder. His voice was cheerful, but his grip was tight. "I admit I'd been hoping for the opportunity to talk to you about them, Adryn... and it sounds as though you'll be in Ald'ruhn for the next while, yes?"
"Ah... yes." I eyed the appendage currently trespassing into my personal space. How to remove it without causing offense to the very important noble on his own property, with his subordinate watching? "No plans to go elsewhere. Er, could you maybe-"
"Excellent! I'll expect you at dinner tomorrow, then. First bell, just let them know your name and the door guards will let you in." Sarethi gave my shoulder one last squeeze, then released it. "Now, Diviner, I admit I was hoping to speak to you about the state of things at Falasmaryon. Would you care to join me in my study for a drink? The wine shipment from Cyrodiil got in only last week, and there's a case of Tamika from '99 – an excellent vintage."
Methal was silent for a long moment, then nodded. "I believe I'll take you up on that, Councilor." He looked back at me. I shivered; for all his typical friendly demeanour, for a moment something in Methal's eyes made me feel like an insect pinned down for examination. His gaze softened almost immediately, leaving me to wonder if I'd imagined it. "Adryn, I hope to see you back in the Temple soon, with or without Ervesa present. We could always use more ingredients, and I do enjoy our conversations."
The two men swept out, leaving me and Jamie alone. I spent a moment indulging in relief - neither of them were particularly comforting to be around. Then what Sarethi had said caught up to me.
"...did I just agree to dinner at Sarethi Manor tomorrow?"
"You did, and I don't think you'll manage to find a way out of it in the next day, not after you told Athyn you have no pending duties. Chin up, will you?" Jamie could really be more sympathetic when it came to my imminent doom, I thought. "It's just dinner, and it's not like he's going to murder you. Athyn likes you, you know." A pause. "Also, if you're worried about your table manners, consider this: I don't think it's actually possible for you to embarrass yourself in front of him any more than you did today."
"I hate you," I told Jamie. "I'm going back to the Guild to ask Edwinna if she can please find me a magical emergency for tomorrow evening."
Notes:
I had way too much fun with Jurgen Windcaller's "Nordic" and Nerevar's butchering thereof. The individual words were produced via taking German and Google-translated Icelandic + occasionally Danish, Swedish or Norwegian, adding some bits and bobs from canon Nord names and place names, and sticking the lot in a blender. If you're curious about any word in particular, feel free to ask!
Chapter 22: Chapter Twenty-One
Notes:
FYI, I have gone back and edited past chapters to change Adryn's last Skyrim home from Solitude to Windhelm. I've considered doing this ever since I started playing Skyrim and discovered that my mental image of Solitude did not match Bethesda's and Windhelm was a far better match, and decided to finally bite the bullet and do it while it was still possible with just a find and replace. If you spot anything I've missed, let me know.
Also, a warning: this chapter has some unfortunate parallels to current real-world events. They aren't intentional, this is just a matter of terrible timing.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Edwinna stared at me.
"You're looking for a task?"
"Yes."
"That will take you out of the city tonight?"
Was something wrong with her? My work with her had proved that Edwinna was whip-smart, capable of taking the bare hint of a theory, fleshing it out and taking it to its most far-reaching conclusions even as you watched. I'd never had to slow myself down for her, so this repeating what I'd just said was most uncharacteristic.
"Yes," I confirmed again while eyeing my guildmistress cautiously. The way she rubbed her temples only supported my sprouting theory of a head injury, I noted with concern.
"Adryn, I'm taking a great deal of comfort from the idea that none of your duties will take you outside so much as the library in the near future. Please don't spoil that for me - I'll have to try to come up with other death-defying escapades you could possibly find yourself on, and I'm not sure my imagination is up to the task."
Somehow, although I couldn't quite figure out why, this line of argument struck me as manifestly unfair.
"I'll be careful, I promise." I paused long enough to grow indignant. "Besides, I'll have you know that I don't always get dragged off on, on, on adventures and the like! I've done things that turned out just as expected, no teleportation accidents or kidnapped Redorans or ransomed pilgrims or anything involved."
"Oh? Name one."
I opened my mouth.
Closed it.
I was sure to think of one. Any minute now.
Alas, Edwinna didn't care to give me the time. "You see," she said after I'd been silent for only a few moments, with a tone indicating she considered the matter settled. "I, for one, would like to spend this conclave in the happy knowledge that all the apprentices and journeymen of my guild are safely where they should be, and none of them are off gallivanting across the island. And thus."
"I don't gallivant," I protested that description. "And won't you consider-"
"Guildmistress?"
The voice was hoarse and whispery, as though the speaker were suffering from an inflamed throat... and had then spent the night at the local tavern attempting and failing to sing with a great deal of energy and enthusiasm. I was torn between wincing in sympathy and shifting away in case it was some sort of contagious illness.
"Oh." Edwinna glanced past me, and then her expression closed down. It was quite a shock, to tell the truth - she'd been frustrated with me just now, yes, but I'd still never seen her with quite this stone-faced mien. "Tiram."
"It's good to see you too, guildmistress," Throat-Ailment said. Looking back proved him to be a nondescript Dunmer man in heavy brocade blue-green robes. "I do hate to bother you, but there was a matter I believe you can help me with. One of our guild member is complaining about one of her books having been mislaid."
Back in Windhelm, cramped living quarters and an intemperate climate combined with work that primarily took place outdoors had meant most of the guild was suffering from one cold or another from Frostfall to First Seed. Lack of funds for a proper healer had meant I'd gotten quite good at whipping up remedies for coughs and sneezes, phlegm in the lungs, congested sinuses and - of course - inflammations of the throat. Listening to this man talk made me itch to brew my special juniper and jazbay tea, steeped with dried mora tapinella for the regenerative effect and sweetened with enough honey to hide the taste thereof, and pour it down his throat. I had to remind myself quite firmly that as a guild member, he must be a capable mage in his own right and if he hadn't sought out a healer there was almost certainly a reason.
Also, I should probably pay more attention to the conversation, because Edwinna had just gone very pale.
"Mislaid, you say?" she asked weakly.
"Yes, Sirilonwe has been missing Chimarvamidium. Imagine my surprise when I heard someone mention they'd seen you with it."
"Oh, that." Edwinna, I noted with interest, did not do a particularly good impression of innocence. "I was just borrowing it, I must have forgotten to let her know-"
"I'm certain." Even obscured by the rasp of the man's voice, I could hear the irony in those words. "And I'm certain that you were going to return it to her before leaving for the mainland."
"Of course I was." This time Edwinna sounded almost believably affronted. Almost. "I've just been - busy, I haven't gotten round to it yet-"
"Believe me, I understand fully. Of course, a guild head has many demands on her time. Therefore, I would be honoured if you would accept my offer of assistance." Throat-Ailment's smile was a thin-lipped thing just on the verge of being a smirk. "I would be happy to return the book that you'd... borrowed to Sirilonwe for you, no need to bestir yourself."
Edwinna heaved a sigh. "All right, fine," she said with clear ill humour. "Wait here, I'll get it for you."
And before I knew it, I was left alone with a stranger, wondering what exactly I'd just observed.
"Don't mind Edwinna," Throat-Ailment said, as if following my thoughts. "She's an excellent head of guild, she can just be a little... overzealous when it comes to her research, and from what I hear she's never gotten on with Sirilonwe. Hasn't taken to me either, for that matter. But she hasn't tried to strangle me yet, so things could be worse." The smirk-smile reappeared, as if the man were laughing at a private joke. I had a horrible feeling I knew what had happened to his voice.
"I've never had any difficulties with her," I said, my own voice taut.
"I'm glad to hear it. You're... Adryn, correct? The newest Apprentice?"
"...Yes?" My reply was cautious. I'd gathered from Masalinie and Ajira that I'd somehow become a subject of guild gossip, something which I didn't like at all. The fact that a stranger from... whichever guild he was from... knew my name served as proof of the matter.
"I've been meaning to meet you for a while, I just couldn't make the time," the man - I couldn't very well refer to him as Throat-Ailment if he really had sustained an injury - continued. "I am Tiram Gadar, assistant and advisor to Archmage Trebonius."
Really?
"That must be an- um- interesting job," I blurted out, with just enough presence of mind to replace the adjective I'd originally been going to use. Needless to say, it would have been significantly less diplomatic.
"It has its moments, yes." I couldn't actually tell if Gadar was responding to my actual words or the implication. In any case, he continued without giving me the time to think about it further. "Among others, I get to meet all sorts of people in the guild and hear all sorts of stories from them. Folms Mirel, in particular, had quite a few things to say about you."
I groaned.
I'd been fortunate enough to avoid the Caldera guild, but overheard snippets - never to mention my faithful spy Ajira filling me in - made it clear that when it came to my research in propylon indices, Blowfish had left angry behind a while ago and was rapidly approaching incandescent. I was honestly a little worried about what would happen once he heard I'd picked up a third one. Could I be blamed if the head of the Caldera guild actually exploded from sheer rage, I wondered?
"The purpose of the propylon chambers is one of Vvardenfell's well-known mysteries, I hope you realise, not on the same level as the disappearance of the Dwemer but quite respectable all the same. I've always been very interested in Folms' work, but you seem to be making far better progress. Is it true you've managed to activate the indices of three separate fortresses?"
I'd have bristled at the questioning, but there was a spark of real interest in Gadar's eyes that made me think he wasn't just after gossip. "Yes," I offered instead. "Falasmaryon, Hlormaren and Indoranyon. Falasmaryon was an accident."
"Fascinating!" Gadar's eyes lit up. "I'd be grateful if you could tell me more at some point. Although..." He frowned. "Indoranyon? Isn't that in the Telvanni regions?"
Oh, how I wished the answer to that question wasn't yes.
Gadar must have read it off my face, because his frown deepened. "Apprentice, I hope you realise that the guild advises its members strongly against spending time in the Telvanni regions. The House as a whole is hostile to outlanders in general and the Mages' Guild especially, and there's little Imperial presence in the area - meaning no place to go for help. In fact, quite a few of the residents don't even speak Tamrielic-"
I tried to fight back a groan. Alas, I was unsuccessful. "I know, all right? I'd have kept my distance, but Tenyeminwe needed to be escorted to the docks, then there was the whole thing with Tel Naga and the corprus ship, and I don't even want to remember Tel Fyr, and then... well, I'd really rather not get into it. It was an accident, and I don't plan to repeat it - that's the important thing."
Gadar still looked rather skeptical. I decided a change of subject was called for. And, luckily for me, I'd spent enough time in the guild to learn how to distract my fellow members.
"But you were asking about the propylon indices, weren't you? I'd love to speak with someone more knowledgeable in the area of Mysticism about them, honestly. I don't know much of the theory, and although I have made progress sometimes I'm making the terminology up as I go along."
There - I was dangling the prospect of intellectual discussion and academic advancement in front of the man like a mouse in front of a cat. A mouse who'd rolled around in catnip, if I knew my fellow mages at all.
And indeed, Gadar's eyes lit up. I mentally patted myself on the back for good people skills. What I'd said even had the advantage of the truth - probably inspired by my duties for Edwinna, I'd been having fun inventing vaguely Dwemeris-sounding words for the various magical properties I discovered in the indices. I should probably switch to the proper terminology at some point, although actually I'd been planning to see if I could catch Masalinie. Using partial truths to my benefit- Ingerte would have been so impressed to see I'd learned something from her after all-
Don't think about Ingerte, Adryn.
"I'd be honoured. Unfortunately, I expect Edwinna will be back with Sirilonwe's book any moment now and at that point I'll need to head back to Vivec. Perhaps another time?"
I hadn't actually planned on having the discussion, but at that an idea came to me.
"How about tomorrow evening, would you be free then?" Let no one say I wasn't willing to go to lengths to escape dinner at the Sarethis.
But alas, luck was not on my side, because Gadar was shaking his head. "I'm afraid I've promised to help Malven with inventory - there was an incident where it turned out we had the Wabbajack in the guild store-room among the free staves. The whole thing was dreadfully embarrassing, especially when that poor Associate spent three days as a rabbit until we managed to work out how to turn her back. So Malven and I want to go through the other storerooms and see what we have. I expect it'll take up the whole day."
The words well, that's a shame, it was nice to meet you were on the tip of my tongue, but the man wasn't done.
"How about the day after, though? I'll definitely need a break from inventory by then."
I'd have liked to refuse, but I didn't actually have any conflicting appointment and couldn't quite think of a good enough lie. And it would be hard to turn the man down flat when I'd made it clear I would have been open to such a meeting the day before.
Which was how, by the time Edwinna finally got back carrying a thick tome (from the length of time she'd taken and the fresh ink-stains on her fingers, I suspected she'd taken the opportunity to make some last notes), I found myself having agreed to both dinner with Sarethi and a chat about propylon indices with a complete stranger the day after. I supposed it wasn't really my day; the best that could be said for it at this point was that I hadn't had any teleportation accidents stranding me in the monster-infested wilderness.
...perhaps, I decided, it would be better not to mention that thought aloud. I didn't want to give the universe any ideas.
Dinner had proved rather awkward. To start with, it had involved enough cutlery to outfit an army. Some of it had looked vaguely familiar from my time at the orphanage, in particular from interminable lessons with Sister Isanne. Of course, her hopes had been that we'd become maids, not nobles, so the actual use of any of the utensils still remained a mystery. I tried to copy what the people born to this sort of extravagance were doing, but judging by Sarethi's wife's looks, I didn't always succeed. All in all, I left the table convinced that there was no valid reason to need more than a single fork at one meal, and whoever had decided four were necessary deserved to be subjected to Sister Isanne's remedial etiquette lessons - a torture I'd thought I would never wish on anyone.
Then, of course, there had been the natives. One native, in particular. I really didn't know why I was surprised that Varvur strove forth to prove that he was more immature than his four-year-old sister, including the time she attempted to build a saltrice catapult out of the third-smallest spoon and two of the forks. (Her mother had been surprisingly calm about it, muttering something about supporting a budding interest in siege weaponry which led me to remember that everyone around me was completely insane.)
The child had been the most interesting conversational partner, really. Varvur, needless to say, was no competition, but if I'd had any hopes that his parents would take mercy on their intellectually challenged son and the poor innocent subjected to his idea of wit, they were quickly dashed. Sarethi's wife had spent most of the conversation looking rather bored, while Sarethi himself mostly seemed to be stifling laughter. All in all, I found myself regretting it deeply when little Meryni abandoned the table to go play heroes and monsters with a small stuffed dragon. I'd have joined her, but I had the impression Sarethi wouldn't have been entirely impressed, never to mention that I couldn't just let the nonsense Varvur was spouting pass unremarked.
All in all, the deliciousness of the food had been thoroughly overshadowed, and by the time the last of the cutlery armoury was taken away by a frowning servant, I felt I was more than due an escape. Sarethi, it seemed, did not agree as he invited me to join him in his study. Just as for the invitation for the dinner, it was clear that "no" was not an acceptable answer.
The study itself would probably have been interesting in any other context. The style of furnishing was completely different from the dining room or what I'd seen on my way in. The room was dominated by wood carved in flowing lines and rich fabrics embroidered with intricate geometric patterns. Low benches replaced the high-backed chairs that had been present so far, with tasselled cushions scattered around. All in all, the decorations reminded me of how Charon had decorated his room after we'd moved into the inn, even if Sarethi had clearly had far more money to throw at procuring Hammerfell-style furnishings. I'd have been curious as to the reason for Sarethi's unusual choice of decor, except that I was preoccupied with contemplating a break for the exit.
As if following my train of thought, Sarethi closed the door firmly. I drooped.
"I find a good glass of flin is the perfect close to a good meal," Sarethi said. "Would you like one? I also have sujamma and greef, or several wines if you'd prefer something Cyrodiilic."
It said something about how the evening had gone that for a moment, I was almost tempted.
"Do you have anything nonalcoholic? Wick water, comberry juice, tea, kava? I like to keep my head clear," I explained at Sarethi's considering look.
"I'm sure I can arrange something."
'Arranging something' meant opening the door to have murmured words with someone, shortly followed by another servant coming in with a tray bearing a teacup and pot. Sadly, neither occasion involved the door being left open long enough for me to make my escape. I particularly regretted this fact when I took a closer look.
The teapot was flawless porcelain, painted in delicate swirling patterns. Like the furnishings, it reminded me more of Hammerfell goods than what I'd seen of Morrowind. The steam that rose from my cup smelled not of hackle-lo, scathecraw or any other native plant, but of ginger and something floral. Both tea and crockery must have been imported... which made them expensive. Not the easiest goods to fence, true, but a professional with contacts-
I didn't think I'd ever felt so out of place as in this room.
I squashed the feeling down. I'd survived the village, the orphanage, the Warp, Markarth and Windhelm, I told myself. No one had wanted me, no one had made room for me - perhaps I'd thought Fjaldir or Do'kharza would once, but it had become obvious that other things were more important to them than a single orphaned girl. I hadn't let it bother me, had always made my own way. I refused to let a nobleman who was being actively welcoming discomfit me so.
I took a careful sip of the tea. "Thank you," I told Sarethi. "It's delicious."
"I'm glad to hear it. Gingerrose tea is hard to come by, here, but I developed a taste for it and have my sources." I felt pinned down by Sarethi's considering stare. I was sure he saw more of how I felt than I'd really have liked. "I do hope you weren't offended by Domesea, at dinner. She doesn't have much time for anyone who can't keep up with her with a sword, I'm afraid." His tone was fond.
"I didn't mind," I told him honestly.
True, Sarethi female edition - Lady Sarethi, I suppose she was - had looked at me as though I was some sort of performing animal and she wasn't quite sure how I'd found my way into their house. But that was simply the course of things, the way that nobility looked at ordinary people the world round. In many ways, her attitude was more comfortable to be around than that of the man sitting across from me.
"Well. If you say so." A pause. "Truly, it's a pity the combat lessons didn't work out. I'm aware you prefer to avoid violence, but they have uses far beyond the obvious. Especially in Redoran, it is far easier to gain respect and power if you're a capable fighter." Sarethi took a sip of his own drink. "After all, as they say: political power grows along the blade of a sword-"
"-thus spake Frandar Hunding," I finished automatically.
Sarethi's eyes widened. I had the feeling that, for the first time since we'd met, I'd managed to surprise him. "I didn't expect you to be familiar with the Book of Circles," he said after a moment.
It was a fair point. Why should a Dunmer girl, half from Skyrim and half from Daggerfall, be aware of such a peculiarly Redguard work?
"I had a friend from the Alik'r."
Once in the Reach, I'd been more than happy to shake the dust of Daggerfall off my feet. In contrast, the Warp separating him from his people through both time and distance had only made Charon cling more strongly to their ways. I'd never fully understood why this had to involve frequent quotations from a book that couldn't make up its mind whether it was about swordsmanship, philosophy or poetry. Dirij Tereur, especially, had made for a dreadful time every year. Protest though we might, Ingerte and I found ourselves dragged into a small chapel on the outskirts of Windhelm to listen to hours of the stuff while kneeling on cold stone. The lavish supper afterwards had not made up for it, and last year I remembered quietly praying that I'd be able to avoid the event in future.
This year, the holiday had found me in a cell in Vivec, so occupied by the fact that I was suspected of murder I hadn't even realised what the day was before it passed. Charon would never twist my arm into going to a Dirij Tereur celebration again. Be careful what you wish for, indeed.
"Had," Sarethi repeated thoughtfully, and I realised with a start that I'd used the past tense for Charon without even thinking about it. The realisation felt like ice-cold water trickling down my spine.
"I- he-" Blood on my hands. My mind was full of green light and I had no idea what I could possibly say.
Something of what I was feeling must have been writ upon my face all the same, because Sarethi sighed. "I am very sorry for your loss." A pause. "Should you want to perform a mourning rite for your friend, you are welcome to use the space Neminda set up near the armoury. I'm certain she would be happy to assist as well."
Everything seemed far away, as though I was seeing the world through warped glass. Dreamlike, the thought crossed my mind that if we did not stop talking about this now I would shatter into a thousand thousand pieces.
A change of subject was clearly necessary.
"You're very familiar with Redguard customs. How come?"
A little too direct to be polite, but at this point I honestly did not care a whit. Sarethi himself thankfully didn't seem offended either.
"I grew up in Hammerfell. In Rihad, near the border to Cyrodiil - I moved there when I was only a child. House politics." The last words were spoken as though they were an explanation in and of themselves. "If one is a guest in someone's home, one needs to follow their customs - it's the proper thing to do. So I learned." He shrugged. "It's how I met Neminda, and my old teacher Shardie - she's at the Legion fort now."
To my accounting, that made Sarethi the only other Dunmer I knew who'd spent much of their life outside Morrowind. My mouth opened without my brain's input to ask, "Did you find it hard to adjust when you returned?"
Sarethi shot me a knowing look. "Yes. Not as hard as you're finding it, I'm certain, since I did still have contact with my family and tutors from Morrowind... but all the same, it wasn't an easy transition. Our people can be very intolerant when someone's past is not quite as they think it should be, no?"
There was a wealth of sympathy in the man's voice, but even more than that, the thing that made me begin to relax was the way he said our people - as though it went without saying that I belonged. "They really can," I agreed. "Some people I've met, I'm not sure they realise 'outlander' isn't my name."
"Allow me to apologise on their behalf. And, of course, offer my services." Sarethi put his glass on the table with a small clink in order to lean forward, eyes fixed on my face. "Should you ever have any questions about living in Morrowind, or any difficulty due to your history, I would be more than happy to help. The assistance you have given my family and my House more than entitles you to that."
I let my own eyes fall to the teapot in order to avoid Sarethi's gaze. Really, he needed to stop it with these grand gestures of support - I was hardly going to take him up on them, and the whole thing was getting embarrassing.
Although, come to think of it...
"...there was one thing, that happened in the Grazelands while I was there," I said slowly. "I was going to ask Ervesa about it," who was my go-to person for such questions as a Morrowind native very familiar with the local customs who'd never called me 'outlander', "but she's not in Ald'ruhn and they don't know when she'll next be here. I didn't want to ask just anyone, because it's about an ancestral tomb and I'm... not sure I observed all the appropriate rituals when I encountered it. I'd hate to offend someone."
"I assure you," Sarethi said smoothly, "I'm at your disposal."
"Who in - Oblivion - lets Daedra - loose in - the wilds?"
Tenyeminwe wasn't letting the fact that she was gasping for air stop her from expressing her displeasure at the current situation. I fully and completely understood her feelings on the matter - indeed, I agreed in every detail - but still felt this was not the time to verbalise them.
"Less talking. More running."
I'd recovered more since being released from prison than I'd expected. It appeared my various misadventures had raised my endurance from "laughable" to "paltry", enough to keep up with Tenyeminwe (who clearly had the common mage's attitude that any time spent exercising was time that could be better spent in the library.) It was not, sadly, enough to outdistance the eerie golden-skinned figure some ways behind us. Nor was it enough to outlast said figure; I could already feel myself begin to tire, while a glance backwards showed that the Daedra was not slowing down.
I cast a desperate look around. Rolling hills covered in wickwheat, swaying in the slight breeze. Red Mountain in the far, unobtainable, irrelevant distance. No sign of Nartise or the other Redoran rescuee, curse their faithless hearts. No sign of anything else that might save us from imminent death.
My hand inched towards my pocket. That Altmer mage wouldn't be too impressed if we ended up at Indoraryon again, and it left us in no better position than we started, but it would be preferable to brutal dismemberment-
Wait. What was that shadow, on the side of the hill...
"There!"
I made for the doorway with Tenyeminwe hot on my heels. Dust rose in clouds as we flew into the antechamber. Tenyeminwe slammed the door shut behind us, purple light flaring - I suspected some sort of reinforcement spell.
For a long moment, the two of us waited with bated breath in the darkness. I swore I could hear footsteps outside, coming closer... closer...
Stopping.
I pressed my back against the stone wall, frozen like a rabbit hiding from a wolf. The door was old wood, and if Tenyeminwe were a great mage we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I wouldn't bet on her spells against a Golden Saint.
Then, finally, footsteps again. Receding.
I didn't know whether the Daedra legitimately didn't realise where we were, whether it decided it had successfully chased us from its territory, or what else might be going through its alien mind. In this case, I decided I didn't particularly care: I wasn't one to look a gift horse (or, in this case, a gift not-getting-disemboweled-by-Daedra) in the mouth. When the footsteps vanished into the distance, I slumped in relief, letting my eyes fall shut. I didn't open them even when light bloomed red through my eyelids. Tenyeminwe, I guessed, with a light spell. Let her explore the place if she wanted - I'd rather bask in the feeling of not being dead for a little longer.
"Adryn."
The hissed whisper could only belong to my companion, and it managed to convey quite the sense of urgency in only one word. Reluctantly, I cracked open my eyelids, ready to tell her off for interrupting my (I thought) well-earned break from reality.
The words froze in my throat at the sight that greeted me.
Tenyeminwe's light was weak, leaving anything more than a few feet distant in deep, flickering shadows. It was, however, handily enough to illuminate the figure in front of us. It was clad in a brown robe glimmering with enchantment, hood pulled low over its face... but not low enough to hide the fact that said 'face' was in fact a bare skull. The four (I quickly recounted - yes, four) skeletal arms were another hint as to the distinctly undead nature of our new companion.
I opened my mouth, but the only thing that came out was a squeak.
The thing floated closer. I could see two pinpricks of blue fire deep within its eye sockets.
Like the phantoms in Daggerfall, advancing on me in absolute silence in the falling darkness while I beat on the door-
I lost precious seconds to panic until I managed to push the memories away. Then, more as everything I'd managed to work out about the Dunmer attitude to undead and barrows flashed through my head at once. The image of the trader in Maar Gan, trembling and shaking after his rescue, was particularly prominent. As was the fact that not just he but all my companions had considered him lucky the tomb guardians hadn't just torn him apart straight off.
Fjaldir was very unlikely to come to my rescue this time, and given the presence of a Golden Saint outside we couldn't escape out this particular door. The only remaining option was talking my way out, although I had to admit I wasn't particularly optimistic as to its chances of success.
I managed to find my voice. "A- a thousand pardons for our trespass, most... erm..." terrifying undead monster, "...honoured ancestor. I promise we mean no harm or disrespect and will be out of your hai- out of your, er, handsomely polished skull as soon as we can-"
The thing was directly in front of me now. It reached out one of its too many arms...
Fingers of bare bone brushed my cheek.
I'd have leapt back, except my back was already pressed against the wall and I sadly had not yet worked out a way of turning intangible. I did spare a moment to desperately wish I could flee back to Indoraryon - but even if I could break free, the skeleton was between me and Tenyeminwe. There was no way I'd be able to live with myself if I abandoned her to a crypt filled with undead inexplicably aspiring to spiderdom.
For a long moment, the thing didn't move, simply touching - cupping - my cheek, the eerie blue flames that passed for its gaze pinning me in place. The only sounds were mine and Tenyeminwe's panting breaths as I tried to stand straight under its scrutiny. This, of course, was easier said than done when my skin was trying to crawl straight off my body.
Then, it dropped its hand (I had to resist the urge to scrub at the place it had touched, reminding myself firmly that being a half-arachnid undead monstrosity was not catching) and drifted back. Its head bowed, its lower arms dropped to its side while its upper ones spread out to indicate the passage deeper into the tomb. It was unmistakeably a gesture of welcome.
"What in Julianos' name-"
Fast as a striking snake, the skeleton spun to face Tenyeminwe, the blue of its eyes burning brighter. The resemblance to a snake only grew with the rattling hiss it let out as it raised its lower arms again. Most ominously, red roiling light began to grow in one of its hands.
It objected to Tenyeminwe, but did not object to me.
The thought had barely crossed my mind before my feet were moving. I sprang in front of Tenyeminwe, my own arms spread to mirror the skeleton's, although empty of magicka. (I didn't think that particular contest would end well for me.)
"She's with me!"
For a long, terrifying moment I thought I'd miscalculated and the two of us were going to get roasted. Then, like a Dwemer automaton switching out of alert mode, it resumed its previous peaceful posture.
"All right," I whispered to Tenyeminwe. Whispering was good. Whispering made it less obvious how much my voice was shaking. "Just- just stay behind me."
"How did you do that?" Tenyeminwe whispered back. She was, apparently, deciding to prove her mage credentials by making clear the how and why of what was happening was more important to her than, oh, the possibility of getting torn to shreds by an angry undead monster. Sometimes I wondered how any of them - all right, us - managed to survive to adulthood. "Are you a necromancer?"
"No!" I brought my indignant shout down to whisper volume just in time. "Obviously not. Did you see me cast a spell? More importantly, have you lost your mind?"
In High Rock, necromancers were frowned upon. In Skyrim, they were ostracised. In Morrowind, I'd learned by now, necromancy carried the death sentence. Call me a killjoy, but given that context I was not amused by her accusation.
"Well, then explain why it's obeying you!"
Tenyeminwe's voice had risen, but it didn't seem to disturb the skeleton any. It stayed floating where it was, as though waiting for me.
"Honestly?" I told Tenyeminwe. "Your guess is as good as mine."
"So we stayed there for a while, until we figured the Golden Saint had gone," I told Sarethi. "Stumbled across a Velothi camp no longer after we left, and ran into Nartise and what's-her-name not long after that, and... well, let's just say we all had enough other things to worry about that I'm not sure Tenyeminwe even remembers the whole thing. I didn't want to bring it up either. But... that's not normal, is it? For a- a guardian to ignore someone like that?"
I'd figured Sarethi had enough sense not to react like Tenyeminwe, but I'd been a little worried about his reaction all the same. I had the impression that people here frowned heavily on messing around with the Morrowind equivalent of barrows, no matter the circumstances. Thankfully, though, his promised tolerance seemed to be holding; rather than reacting angrily, he was stroking his chin with his eyes narrowed in thought.
"It isn't," he confirmed. "Tomb guardians will typically attack anyone who trespasses on their domain. There are cases where they can be appeased, temporarily... but this usually requires the appropriate rites of obeisance, and the guardian will still make quite clear that they are displeased and any stay granted is purely temporary." I remembered the expression of the rescued trader and nodded to myself.
"However," Sarethi continued, "there is a situation that would match your description." His voice, which had taken on something of a lecturing note, became more animated.
"Oh?"
"It's simple. The guardian wouldn't act against you if it didn't see you as a trespasser."
For a moment, I was lost in confusion. What did it mean, for the guardian not to see me as a trespasser? After all, I was certainly a stranger to the place, had never even been to that corner of Vvardenfell before.
Then, the realisation hit me. The process felt a little like being struck by a large, heavy rock dropped from a great height.
"You can't mean..." My voice trailed off. Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to put this particular thought into words.
Sarethi had no such compunctions. "If you're a member of the family in question, no spirit within the ancestral tomb will attack you - and they'll spare your companions as well, if asked. I can't think of any other explanation."
If you're a member of the family.
Somehow, I realised, although I'd thought I was learning Morrowind ways, I'd only let them touch me on the surface. I'd learned something of the importance people here gave to clan and heritage. I'd even told myself I understood the concept...
...but I hadn't been able to apply it to me.
As a child, I'd dreamed of having a family of my own. There had been so many hours I whiled away in daydreams of my unknown parents coming back for me, in speculation about how they might have come to lose me through no fault of their own. The memories were there, of fantasies and theories and a strange, formless yearning for family. Of perching in the window seat of the orphanage with a copy of the kingdom census - Fjaldir and the rest had needed it for something, I remembered, and no one had noticed when I'd made off with it after - tracing the exotic-sounding names of the few Dunmer who resided in Daggerfall and wondering...
Yes, the memories were there, but they felt distant and unreal, like they belonged to a different life. As time went on I'd moved on, found greater dreams trailed by greater wounds. By now I'd made my own family and lost it twice over, and the fact that I had no blood kin was a simple truth stripped bare of emotion, one no longer worth a second thought.
"I..."
I didn't know what to say, what to feel. This turn of events had left me completely blindsided, and Athyn Sarethi was looking at me with an expression of deep consideration.
All right, I knew one thing I wanted: I wanted to leave. Go back to the Guild, curl up in the dormitory bed I'd claimed with the curtains drawn shut and allow myself to have whatever emotional reaction I was going to have without a nobleman watching my every twitch.
Sarethi sighed. I suspected he'd gathered something of my current feelings, proving my point about the level of observation.
"As you know, my door is always open to you. If you ever need my assistance, in this matter or any other, you need only ask. For now, I believe I've kept you long enough."
Yes. He really had.
Turdas evening found me in the Ald Skar Inn, nursing a wick water and taking advantage of their house special of glazed scrib legs with a scuttle and firefern dip. Despite the fact that it wasn't yet the weekend the place was surprisingly crowded, probably because the cold had set in to the point where outside seating was only useable by the truly masochistic. We'd lucked out and managed to snag a table in the corner, but it was still a tight fit.
"I prefer the Rat in the Pot," Llarara grumbled. "There aren't as many people, and sometimes they have dancing."
I winced. I was the one who'd vetoed the Rat in the Pot, and on the surface, it was hard to see why. After all, the style and ambience of the place - never to mention the price class - were far closer to what not just I but likely the others as well were used to. There was just the minor, unimportant detail that the Rat in the Pot was the local Thieves' Guild headquarters and I should stay far, far away from the place as a result, but that was really the sort of thing my companions didn't need to know.
Which left me with an explanation that would have been difficult to manage even in a language I spoke fluently.
Luckily, Ervesa took care of the matter for me. She'd swept into Ald'ruhn late morning with dented armour, a bulging pack, and a broad smile on her face, and seemed determined to protect her good mood from grumpy friends. "Come on, Llarara! The-"
At that point, Ervesa clearly forgot that, study aside, I was still a beginner at Dunmeris. My best guess was that she was saying something about the food, but given that I could understand maybe one word in four I couldn't rule out the possibility that she was praising the music, talking about her travels, or proposing marriage.
I sighed and intoned the words that had been among the first things I learned in class. "Slower, please?"
"Oh. Sorry, Adryn. The food here is better, and I know Llarara likes the duunei rivillarys. Glazed scrib legs," she repeated in Tamrielic on seeing my blank face.
I nodded, filing the words away. When I'd started learning Dunmeris, I'd tried to focus on learning only the vocabulary I expected to be useful. However, my memory seemed to take a gleeful pleasure in latching onto the most obscure terms, and the episode in Sadrith Mora had taught me that it could be hard to know in advance which words one would need. After all, where would that have ended if I hadn't known the word for "spy"? So my taste in vocabulary had grown steadily less discerning, and by now no new Dunmeris word was safe from my gluttonous appetite. Who knew, maybe at some point soon I'd find myself negotiating a truce between warring tribes through the power of shared culinary culture, and glazed scrib legs would form the cornerstone of my argument. It wouldn't be the strangest thing that had happened to me on the island.
My moment of whimsy was interrupted by a very familiar voice joining the conversation. "Ajira herself does not like dancing-"
I was distracted enough by the third person (which sounded even stranger in Dunmeris than in Tamrielic), that I lost the rest of the sentence. Something involving ash yams?
Then events caught up to me.
"Ajira! You..." I suspected that literally saying you made it would result in puzzled looks and Ajira asking what exactly she'd made. Expressions, I'd discovered, didn't translate well.
"You're here!" I said instead, taking refuge in stating the obvious.
I didn't get to see Ajira nearly as much as I would have liked, these days. She and Masalinie both had advised me to avoid the Balmora guild while Ranis Athrys was around ("our esteemed guildmistress may not have known what to do with you, but she still didn't take you escaping from under her thumb particularly well," Masalinie had said with a roll of her eyes), while Ajira's duties both professional and parental mostly kept here there. She didn't even always make it to the Ta'agra classes, which was quite sad when one considered why they'd started.
As a result, when Ervesa got back into town and suggested going out as a group, I'd responded more eagerly than was my wont (although her dumbfounded expression when I agreed without arguing had still been unnecessary, in my opinion - I wasn't that much of a misanthrope, thank you very much). I didn't even mind that she insisted on dragging my Dunmeris teacher into things. I'd known who I wanted to invite.
"Ajira thanks her friend for the invitation," my friend was saying now as she pulled up a chair, "and that it was for Turdas."
I gave Ervesa a triumphant grin. She'd originally suggested tomorrow, but I'd managed to argue her into submission. I'd known that Ma'Zajirr's return from the Imperial school would make it very unlikely Ajira would be able to join us on a Fredas.
"I'm happy to see you," I told my friend with an embarrassing amount of sincerity; I'd have to remind myself not to make a habit of it. "Do you know if Jamie comes?" Wait- that wasn't right, was it? I was asking about a one-time event, not habitual behaviour, which called for progressive aspect. "Is coming?" I quickly corrected myself. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Llarara's approving nod.
But Ajira was shaking her head. "She cannot, she told Ajira earlier today. She has dreynduas-"
"-business," Ervesa translated,
"-in Balmora. She wishes to meet another time."
"May Almsivi make it so," Ervesa responded, a rote phrase I'd learned early on. "For now-"
In stark contrast to Ajira, Ervesa was a scourge to poor innocent language learners like myself. She couldn't remember to speak slowly for more than a sentence at a time, and the concept of "keep it simple" was lost on her. So it was now: the rapidly accelerating flow of words that escaped her left one staring in awe, and the few bits and pieces I made out led me to suspect she was definitely using grammar we hadn't covered yet.
Was that some form of conditional? Had Sheogorath taken her mind?
Bereft of verbal communication, I was forced to resort to contextual clues. In this case, the deck of cards she was flourishing. Given the way we'd met and the excited tone of the incomprehensible flow, I deduced that she was proposing a game.
It seemed I wasn't the only one who'd played cards with Ervesa before, because Llarara's eyes narrowed. "No cheating," she said sternly, then repeated it in Tamrielic for good measure. "I grew up with you, I know your tricks."
Ervesa pouted, making for a rather unbelievable sight. "But what if I-"
"No. Cheating."
"Fine." Her tone was grumpy, but her hands were already busy shuffling the deck.
An hour or so later found us deep into the game. As requested, both Ervesa and I had refrained from cheating, although I had to admit it had been hard - more than once I'd found myself reflexively tucking a card up my sleeve, or faking a shuffle, and only just caught myself in time. I'd worry about what this said about the groups I used to play in, except that Ervesa was clearly having just as many problems with the concept. Honestly, one or both of us would probably have succumbed if not for Ajira's periodic warning glances.
"Methal said you wanted to talk to me about something?" Ervesa asked now... in Tamrielic, mercifully. I suspected it to be intended as a distraction, to make her and Ajira's imminent crushing defeat at the hands of me and Llarara a little less so.
Sadly for us, it worked, seeing as it made me remember the conversation I'd had with Athyn Sarethi in Ervesa's stead. I'd been strenuously trying not to think about it of late because I simply couldn't figure out what I thought about the subject or what I wanted to do about it, and the whole process just left me feeling ill and achingly empty. Still, the memory lurked just beneath the surface of my subconscious, where it could ambush me with little warning.
"Adryn?"
Sometimes, when I was younger, I'd get into a rut with my thoughts, spinning round and round in circles without making any progress. It had always helped tremendously to talk through them with someone. Charon-
I hadn't had anyone I trusted that way for a while.
I looked round the table. Ajira was probably the closest friend I had. I liked to think Ervesa qualified as one, too. Llarara I didn't know as well, but she was nice enough - and Ervesa clearly trusted her. That had to be worth something.
"If you don't want to tell me, can you at least keep playing?"
"Sorry," I said, glanced at the table, and dropped a card that let me take Ajira's ace of rings for an extra point in the end scoring. I heard her let out a low groan. "I was just thinking." I took a deep breath. "It was about something that happened when I was in the Grazelands..."
At the end of my tale, I had independent confirmation: all my companions agreed with Sarethi's estimation.
Surprisingly enough, it was Ajira who was most emphatic on what to do next. "There is no question about it, no question at all! Friend Adryn must find the tomb again, discover what clan it belongs to. Perhaps she has kin who will be delighted to welcome a lost one home! And of course she must return to bring offerings to her ancestors, this is the most important thing of all."
I wasn't the only one taken aback by this sudden outpouring of spiritual fervour. Ervesa was also blinking at Ajira in surprise. "That's... I must say, I weren't expecting you to be so devout in this regard, Ajira. Most... Khajiit..."
Ervesa's voice trailed off as she realised she was on dangerous ground, but too late. Ajira's ears lay flat against her head, her pupils narrowed into slits. "Oh? And why should Ajira not give honour to her ancestors? Who else should care for a Khajiit, after all, in this land far from Elsweyr's gods? Ajira makes offerings to her grandmother Tsraina and grandfather Jo'mizhrin, who were lucky enough to escape from slavery, clever enough to stay free after. She makes offerings to her great- grandmother Nisaari, who was wise enough to teach her son what he needed to seize opportunity when it came. She respects her great-great-grandmother Ajadhi for her strength to survive being taken captive. Perhaps these ancestors will smile on her, will lend her their luck and cleverness, their wisdom and strength. That they are the only ones she knows to call upon, that is not Ajira's fault."
Silence. The three of us stared at Ajira, card game completely forgotten. I'd never seen my friend this angry, her teeth bared, her fur bristling.
"Excuse me? Is everything all right here?"
We looked up to find a Redoran guard standing beside the table. He'd doffed his helmet, which made it easy to see that the guard was an older man with short spiky dark hair, tattoos spreading over his cheeks and wine-red eyes that were fixed on Ajira. At his side, his gauntleted hand was clenched around his mace.
Ajira shrank. There was no other word for it; her fur went flat, her shoulders hunched, her tail drew close to her body until I was ready to swear that my friend was six inches shorter than she'd been a mere few seconds ago.
"Many apologies, honoured guard. Ajira was so involved in her friends' debate that she forgot where she was. She did not mean to disturb anyone." She cast a desperate glance around the table.
This situation was familiar, in an oddly warped way.
"Yes, well... see that you keep yourself under control from now on, citizen. An honour, Armiger." The guard gave Ajira a short nod, Ervesa a much deeper one, then turned and left.
The food I'd eaten churned uneasily in my stomach. There were plenty of far more rowdy groups in the inn. At the table two to the left, a man had actually drawn a knife, resulting in several very tense seconds before his companions managed to talk him down. Ajira hadn't even raised her voice that much, speaking intensely rather than loudly. Why single her out?
I asked myself the question, but the truth was that I already knew the answer. It was the same reason that I'd always had to be on my absolute best behaviour if we went out in Windhelm. Although some of the natives had looked on Ingerte with suspicion for her Falkreath accent, it was still nothing compared to their treatment of a Dark Elf in their midst.
I wasn't sure whether I was disappointed to discover Morrowind was just as bad, or intensely uncomfortable to suddenly find myself in Ingerte's shoes.
It wasn't clear to me if Llarara or Ervesa had picked up on the unfairness of what had happened, or if they were just still shocked by Ajira's outburst. At any rate, the silence lengthened, grew steadily more awkward. I was about to open my mouth to say something – anything – to break it when Ervesa cleared her throat.
"Um. Sorry, Ajira. I didn't mean to assume." This was the most subdued I'd ever heard her.
Ajira gave a jerky nod. She was still hunched in on herself, a sight that made my heart twist. "It is all right, perfectly all right, Ajira should not have lost her temper. Now, the score was three more points for Llarara and Adryn?"
The game ground back into motion from there on. The conversation followed suit, but haltingly, as though we were all being careful to tiptoe around an obstacle.
"For what it's worth, I agree with Ajira," Ervesa said as she shuffled the deck in a smooth, practiced motion. "It's- it can't be coincidence, it's a gift of the gods, to have the chance to name your ancestors after all."
I could feel my shoulders go up defensively. I hadn't expected quite this much pressure. "How unfortunate for me that the gift in question is in the Daedra-infested wilderness in the middle of Telvanni lands, and I've been warned specifically to stay away because it's too dangerous."
"Ajira is forced to admit friend Adryn makes a good point."
I was about to capitalise on Ajira's reluctant agreement when another thought struck me. "Wait. If my... family..." the word felt indescribably strange leaving my mouth, "have a tomb in the Telvanni regions, does that mean they're Telvanni? Because that would be... awkward."
Speaking of understatements.
"Not necessarily, actually! Many of the tombs are from the Chimer era, but most clans have moved around since then. It's not that unusual for a mainland Indoril family's tomb to be in the Molag Amur, or for a Hlaalu clan that's lived in Balmora for generations to travel to the Deshaan for their rites." Ervesa paused. "It might be worth asking Methal about it, actually. I know he's familiar with that area – he might have an idea of what tomb it might be."
I frowned. In truth, I'd still been deciding whether I wanted to investigate further, but I'd assumed that if I did choose in favour, the investigation itself would be straightforward. "You mean there aren't, I don't know, lists or maps or the like?"
Both the native-born Dunmer in the room looked uncomfortable. "Perhaps the Telvanni Council Hall would have some, but..."
"...what Ervesa is trying to say is that many families consider the location of their tomb to be a closely-guarded secret," Llarara jumped in. "There's really no need, these days – it's a hold-over from the time of the Chimer, when clans in conflict might target each others' ancestors." Her voice dropped as she spoke, as though she were recounting some unspeakable horror. "We were far less wise then. The Tribunal put a stop to such things, but the memories persist. And so your clan's tomb might not appear in any public records."
It was probably a sign of how much I'd acclimatised to Morrowind that the idea of attacking someone through their family's ancestral tomb made an odd sort of sense to me. I wondered if I should worry about that.
But, more importantly...
"So you're saying my options are to hope Methal happens to know about a single tomb in the middle of Telvanni lands, or to return there myself and start wandering around at random?"
"Well..." Ervesa hesitated. I had the distinct impression she didn't think I'd like door number three. "You could join the Temple."
Ervesa knew me very well.
"Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly?"
"It makes sense," Llarara jumped in – again. I was beginning to think that one of the professional vices of a teacher was always thinking you could explain something better than others. Since I was now technically part of that group myself, I'd need to keep a very close eye on myself to avoid succumbing. I was resigned to my faults of tactlessness and impetuosity, but obnoxiousness was where I drew the line.
"Foundlings and the lost are known phenomena, if uncommon ones." Indeed, her voice had taken on that lecturing tone again. The danger was real. "We've developed kinfinding spells and rituals to aid them- aid you. However, they're fairly involved and take a lot of resources from the Temple. After the incident with Tevys of the Hundred Clans, it was decided that we'd only offer them to the initiated."
Tevys of the Hundred Clans? That sounded like a story I wanted to hear... but later.
"Thank you for the information. Unfortunately, as I'm still not religious, I'll have to decline."
"If that's your decision, I'll respect it," Ervesa said. "But you should know that becoming a lay member doesn't actually require worship."
I paused. Turned that thought over in my mind.
"Did I understand that correctly? A religious organisation doesn't require religious belief of its members, isn't that a contradiction in terms?" I was used to everyone around me being mad, but all the same this was going a little far in my opinion.
"It's only the first level. To advance to novice you'd need to profess your belief to a Temple priest. But lay membership is open to anyone sincerely interested in learning more about the faith and Almsivi." Ervesa paused. "I think it was introduced during the time of the Ebonheart Pact. There were many outlanders in Morrowind then."
"It was," Llarara interjected. "The decision was made at a Council meeting not long after the alliance – Second Era 575."
"Thank you, Kena Omayn," Ervesa said wryly – using the honorific for someone esteemed for their wisdom and knowledge, no less. I was clearly not the only one who'd noticed the way Llarara had succumbed to her teacherly vices. "Anyway, you can become a lay member without committing to anything. All you have to do is complete the Pilgrimages of the Seven Graces. You can even decide afterwards that you're not interested in becoming one of the Temple faithful and give it up again – my father did. And, of course, you'd gain access to basic Temple services, the kinfinder being one of them."
That all sounded surprisingly reasonable. However, I couldn't forget that I was dealing with two faithful here myself. Best to see if I could get a more neutral opinion.
"Ajira, is that in line with what you know?"
My friend had been quiet and subdued ever since the guard had come over, watching the conversation in silence. She startled a little when I adressed her.
"Ah... yes. Everyone knows the Temple takes the curious as well as the faithful. Ajira even has friends who joined, although," her whiskers twitched, "none who completed all the pilgrimages."
So the information was accurate.
I drummed my fingers on the tabletop, mulling it over. It was true that I wasn't in any way interested in converting...
...but hadn't I been curious about the local religion for a while? For one, it was clear understanding it would be a huge help in understanding the culture here, and although I'd pieced together a lot I knew I was still missing things. For another, something about it still struck me as familiar, the names Vivec and Almalexia and Sotha Sil ringing a faint bell in my memory, like an itch I couldn't quite scratch. This would be an excellent way to learn more without committing to anything.
And if- if- I decided I wanted to know more about a certain ancestral tomb in the Grazelands once I was done, I'd be in the right position to investigate. If not... well, that would be no one's business but my own.
"...Can you tell me more?"
Ervesa smiled.
Vivec proved much warmer than Ald'ruhn, although judging by the complaints of the natives they still considered it weather straight from Oblivion. I shrugged, secure in my status as a survivor of northern Skyrim who had the right to call inhabitants of all other regions of Tamriel pampered, never to mention in my new nice, thick, fur-lined cloak. It was most definitely overkill for the current temperatures, but cozy enough I hadn't put it away. I mainly hoped I wouldn't be forced to cut this one up.
After Ervesa and Llarara had said they'd assist me with the pilgrimages that were required to join the Temple, I'd expected them to keep me company all the way to the Temple district, but not long after we crossed the bridge to Redoran canton Ervesa gave me an apologetic wave and turned towards Arena canton, saying she'd catch up with us at the High Fane. Thankfully, Llarara stayed with me. I didn't know the priestess particularly well – last night aside – but I felt something of a bond due to our mutual endeavours in language teaching, never to mention that after my prior experiences I was uneasy travelling through Vivec without a native at my side. Llarara proved engaging company, and we compared and contrasted pedagogical techniques on the way to the Temple district, half in (slow, thank the Divines) Dunmeris and half in Tamrielic.
She also gave me something else to think about, because the Nine had apparently decided I didn't have enough already.
We were walking along a long boardwalk between St. Delyn and St. Olms cantons, Llarara picking her way around gaps and loose boards with enviable ease (she didn't even look down!) as I did my best to follow suit. The topic had meandered its way from the Temple over to childhood experiences with religion (it turned out that Llarara was from a Temple family, with many relatives among the clergy, and was fairly contemptuous of the Nine) and from there to childhood in general.
"So you don't know about your early childhood?" Llarara asked.
I bit down the instinctive reaction to change the subject. If I was going to give real consideration to the prospect of identifying my clan I'd need to be able to discuss my early days, little though I liked doing it.
"Exactly. The earliest I remember is when I was five or so, and living in a village near Daggerfall. But..." I thought back. A lot of this I'd forgotten and only learned again from Do'kharza years after the fact. "I didn't grow up there. Apparently I just – showed up in the town one day, saying something about how someone had asked me to wait there for them... but nobody showed up. The innkeeper took me in," if grudgingly, I didn't say, "since I'd clearly been abandoned. I don't remember any of it myself."
"Interesting," was Llarara's comment. I noted with a frown that there was no note of surprise in her voice – rather, one almost of satisfaction, as though I'd confirmed an expectation of hers. "That ties in well with a theory of mine."
Called it.
But what theories was she making about my childhood? The back of my neck itched at the thought.
"Oh?" I prompted her, trying to shake the unpleasant sensation of being watched.
"Your Dunmeris. It's coming along extraordinarily well." A meaningful pause. "Too well."
I stopped, feet braced across a gap, to take that in.
It was true that I'd made significant progress even in the short time I'd been taking classes. I'd moved into a more advanced course not long before my trip to Telvanni lands, and could now converse fairly well as long as my partner spoke slowly and the topic of conversation remained in the realm of concrete happenings. The grammar had come easily to me so far, and most of the time I only had to encounter a new word once in order to engrave it in my memory. At the start, I'd thought that the others in the course simply weren't sufficiently dedicated. My own stint as a teacher – in particular, seeing the effort Ajira and Jobasha put into their studies – had put paid to that notion, so I'd ended up ascribing it to native intelligence. Silently, I could admit a little bit of preening had been involved in the last.
All of which left me with no idea of what, exactly, Llarara was driving at here.
"Er... I promise I'm not faking, for what it's worth? I really have never spoken the language before, I swear."
"Actually, I'm starting to wonder about that." Before I could take offense at this slight on my honesty, Llarara moved to explain.
"A few years ago, I had another outlander in my class who also learned very quickly. When I asked her about it, she told me that when she was very young, her parents had spoken Dunmeris with her, but they'd stopped after moving to rural Colovia in order to fit in better." Llarara's face twisted at the thought – it was clear she had no understanding of why anyone would make that decision. After my experiences, I had a little more sympathy for the stance. "Children are odd, you know. They soak up new languages in a way adults can only dream of, but they forget them as quickly. When that woman came to me, she couldn't speak a word of Dunmeris... but when she started learning, it began to come back."
I cocked my head. "It's interesting – I didn't know that about children forgetting languages." And could apparently be thankful that Do'kharza had spoken Ta'agra with me, keeping the tongue alive in my mind. My knowledge of it must have come from that forgotten early childhood, leaving it at great risk of being lost.
But now wasn't the time to analyse my language skills, because I was clearly missing something here. "I'm sorry, though... what does it have to do with me?"
Llarara's stride faltered. She shot me an incredulous look, the one she'd used to pin down a fellow student who'd forgotten the Dunmeris for book for the fifth time in a single lesson. It was a look that said the giver was being exceptionally patient with one's complete and utter denseness right now. I'd never had it turned on me before, and it smarted.
"What I'm suggesting," Llarara said, very patiently, "is that you used to speak Dunmeris as a young child, likely with your parents. Then something happened, you were separated, nobody around you spoke the language and so you lost it. But the bones of it are still there in your mind, ready to be reawoken."
"Oh."
The sound escaped me involuntarily, small, almost ashamed. Now that Llarara had pointed out, I had to admit it was the obvious explanation. It truly was unusually dense of me not to have realised what she was getting at...
...but I knew why. In fact, the concept still sat uneasily with me, like a rock in my stomach, my body unable to absorb it. It had been a long time since I'd stopped thinking about my past, since I'd taken my origins as a given. Rationally, I'd known I must have had parents at some point, that I hadn't simply sprung into existence in that village one day. My recent brush with my apparent clan had only served to confirm that. But...
But it was different, I thought. A tomb, a strange skeleton, the possibility of a name – those weren't people. The thought of actual parents, possibly even still alive, of someone out there who might be my close flesh and blood, it was – too much, too alien. I didn't know how to handle it.
Entirely too many things I didn't know how to handle had been happening of late.
I squeezed my eyes shut, banished the beginnings of panic I could feel flickering in my stomach.
Well. Llarara's theory was interesting, but at the end of the day it was just an unproven theory, one which had no impact on my life as it stood one way or another. There was really no need to think more on it. I might be considering an investigation into my origins, but I could leave it at the level of clan names, of dusty tombs and overly-friendly undead. I'd sat with those concepts for a while now and had come to the conclusion I could probably just about deal with them. There was simply no need to add more complications on top.
Decided, I changed the subject. "So... about these pilgrimages?"
Llarara gave me a piercing look, making me squirm. I suspected she knew exactly what I was trying to do here.
Thankfully, she was merciful, because after a moment she went with it.
"There are three shrines in Vivec proper, two at the Palace and one at the High Fane. I suggest you visit that shrine first..."
The priestess and I stared at each other. The air between us crackled with tension.
To the side, Ervesa let out a loud, demonstrative groan. Both of us ignored her.
"I would be very grateful if you could explain to me precisely what makes a home-brewed potion unsuitable as a shrine offering." I did my best to mimic Ingerte's most icy politeness, the one that had broken down an Imperial tax collector to the point where he apologised to us for the inconvenience.
Alas, my imitation was clearly imperfect, because the priestess didn't seem fazed. "Offerings must be of a certain quality to be acceptable to Lord Vivec. In the past, we've found home-brewed potions too variable, running the risk of offending Him if we permit them."
I gritted my teeth. "That's perfectly understandable, but as I've told you multiple times now, I'm a freelance alchemist who supplies multiple stores in Ald'ruhn, including one of your Temples." With ingredients, not potions, but given that that was due to lack of equipment and not of capability I felt the point stood nonetheless. "My potions are professionally brewed and of high quality, and your insistence that I should buy from you instead makes me wonder if this is some sort of racket." I let my eyes trail over the vials on the stand. "Especially given what you're trying to sell. Are those supposed to be potions? Because they look like someone bottled swamp water and decided to call it a day."
The priestess went blotchy.
"Adryn." Ervesa, vanquisher of kagouti, rescuer of alchemists in distress, all-around dashing hero, sounded afraid. I didn't realise she even deigned to recognise that emotion. Perhaps she was ill? "Adryn, please. I will buy the potion for you, all right?"
"It's the principle of the thing!"
"Swamp water?" The priestess had apparently finally caught up with the conversation. "I've never been so insulted in my life!"
I blinked. "Really? Given that I wasn't even trying, I can definitely change that for you."
Ervesa pulled at her hair. "Adryn, I will pay you to stop-"
"I'll let you know my potions have been certified by a Master of Alchemy-"
"Was he possibly drunk at the time?"
A high-pitched whimpering noise escaped Ervesa. A quick glance showed that she was covering her eyes, as if trying to block out the sight before her. Puzzling, since there was really nothing going on to cause such a reaction. Perhaps she wasn't feeling well?
"What exactly is going on here?"
Ervesa, the priestess and I turned around as one to find a second priestess, older and bearing far more of an air of authority, looking at the three of us sternly. She looked familiar, I thought. Wasn't she the priestess I'd spoken to after the ash statue incident? What had her name been – Lura? Lora?
"Sister Lloran!"
Yes, that had been it!
"Sister Lloran," the priestess broke in before Ervesa could continue, "this- outlander-" the intonation on that word made it clear it was standing in for one far less polite, "is demanding she be allowed to use home-brewed materials in a shrine ritual! I cannot possibly allow her to contaminate the-"
Lloran held up her hand, causing the priestess's mouth to snap shut. Her eyes met mine. "Adryn, isn't it?"
She, I noted with annoyance, had no difficulty at all recalling my name. Well, perhaps it wasn't much of a surprise – it couldn't be every day someone was (wrongfully) arrested for murder in your office. "Yes, ma'am. And I'm just-"
The hand went up again. My mouth shut without consulting my brain first.
"I wasn't aware you were seeking entrance in the Temple as a lay member."
All right, her remembering my name was understandable, but this was more of a puzzle. Why would she expect to be aware? Why should she care about what I was doing at all?
"It's a recent decision," I said warily.
The woman's mouth smiled. Her eyes, I noted, did not. "I'm delighted to hear it. Sister," she turned to the priestess, "the aspiring lay member Adryn is known to us as an apothecary and alchemist. Her potions are of an acceptable quality for the ritual. Let her use them."
It was really, truly annoying that I couldn't properly enjoy the noise the priestess let out at that, because it was a thing of true beauty. Really, I would have liked nothing more than to indulge in a touch of malicious enjoyment at the sight of her being smacked down by her own superior like that. Alas for my gloating, it sadly had to come second behind a slow, creeping feeling of worry.
Why on Nirn would this woman care about the alchemical goods supply for Ald'ruhn Temple, to the point of knowing who one of the suppliers was? Or care about me to the pont where she knew my professional aspirations? We'd met all of the once, and even if it had been a memorable occasion she clearly had other worries.
I'd try to explain it away, except that this was the second high-ranking priest who was taking an inordinate interest in me. My leading theory for Methal was that he was bored and had latched on to me as an outlet for idle curiosity – but Lloran, too?
"Well, outlander?" A voice cut through my musings. "Are you planning to actually complete the ritual at any point?"
In my distraction, I'd missed Lloran leaving. Now, the priestess she'd so unceremoniously cut to size was glaring daggers at me. In the background, it looked as though Ervesa was trying to become one with the wall.
"I was simply reflecting," I told the woman. "Cleansing my mind of negative emotions. I may only be an aspiring lay member, but it was my understanding this is an important part of the process. Have I misunderstood?"
If she kept grinding her teeth like that, she'd need to see one of the specialist healers for reconstruction before she was even middle-aged.
Still, although I'd mainly said it to avoid apologising, there was a grain of truth to my words. This was really not the right place or time to be worrying about the Temple hierarchy's strange interest in me. I pushed my questions down, promising myself to consider them later tonight, and knelt before the triangular stone with my vial in hand.
Staying calm proved difficult not just because of my lurking doubts but because I could feel the priestess's eyes burning into my back. I persevered nonetheless – I might not intend to actually convert, but when it came to religion it always paid to be respectful. I did my best to ignore the sensation of someone trying to set me on fire through the power of sheer hate and focused on the text engraved on the stone.
When Sheogorath tricked Baar Dau to hurl itself upon Lord Vivec's city, the Poet-Warrior froze the rogue moon with a single gesture. Overwhelmed by his courage and daring, the moon swore itself to the eternal service of the Tribunal and all its works.
This sort of thing would be much easier to cynically dismiss as empty bragging if not for the floating rock right there above me.
I focused on the feeling of awe, uncorked the vial, and poured my potion into the basin in front of the shrine. The instant it came into contact with the stone, the liquid glowed blue and vanished.
All right, enough awe, it was time for smug victory. I could feel a wide smile spread uncontrollably across my face. "See? I told you, my... potions..."
It became very difficult to focus on gloating when I felt my feet leave the ground.
"...what?"
I glanced downwards. Sure enough, I was hovering several inches above the stone of the courtyard, my feet outlined in purple light just as they had been back in Arkngthand.
But I definitely hadn't drunk the potion-
"Er, is this supposed to happen?"
I directed the question at Ervesa, but it was the priestess who answered. "Obviously, outlander. All the shrines confer blessings. Fancy not knowing that!"
There was condescension mixed with a good dose of malice in her voice. Just a minute ago, I'd definitely have taken that as a cue to escalate further, but right now I was more concerned with other things.
"And... how long does it last?" My hand crept to my throat. The Slowfall amulet itself was tucked away beneath my shirt, but its chain crept out from under the collar to loop around my neck. I grasped it now to reassure myself.
"An hour or so." This time Ervesa responded, sounding distinctly frazzled. "It wears off slowly, though, giving you plenty of time to get back down to ground."
I considered this silently.
"Er... I'm sorry I didn't warn you, Adryn. Discovering the effect of a shrine is a rite of passage... you're not upset, are you?"
"Upset?" I repeated, confused.
Between teleportation accidents and my exploits in Arkngthand, I'd spent more time than one might expect (in other words: any time at all) floating in midair since arriving in Vvardenfell. However, all my previous experiences had involved enough fear for my life that I hadn't been able to properly react to the situation. Here and now, I was not about to be turned into a pincushion by bandits, nor about to have my internal organs forcibly distributed across the nearby landscape. I was, in short, free to enjoy a sensation dreamed of by many.
"Obviously I'm not upset. Ervesa, I'm flying!"
If, at a later date, Ervesa were to claim that I let out a high-pitched wheeee as I shot up into the sky, this would be a perfidious lie.
Some time later found me hovering near the roof of the High Fane.
For all Ervesa's claims that the spell wore off slowly, I wasn't ready to risk distancing myself too far from the place I'd started. Initially, I'd considered investigating the giant floating rock – perhaps up close I'd be able to find evidence one way or the other regarding Vivec putting it there – but when I'd drifted closer I'd discovered that there had been changes since it had (supposedly) been frozen in the sky by a god. Apparently someone had decided the rock was in dire need of development, because there was a wooden platform running all round the thing and a dark shadow on one side had turned out to be an arched entryway. This in and of itself wouldn't have given me pause, but there was also a figure standing next to the entryway. An Ordinator, in fact, armed with a bow with an arrow already nocked.
I could take a hint before it shot me in the face, so I'd propelled myself back until I was above the shrine and settled in to wait for the spell to wear off. This was far less boring than one might think due to the unusual perspective. Although it wasn't my first time viewing the world from a height, it was my first time not coloured by the fear of imminent death – never to mention that the bustling city of Vivec brought far more interesting sights with it than the West Gash. I could happily keep myself occupied watching the crowds.
When I noticed their movement change, at first I thought I was imagining it.
It started at the docks and spread from there. Suddenly, the small figures who were simply strolling along leisurely were gone. Movement became hurried, frantic, people streaming away as though trying to distance themselves from a possible danger. Others stayed, grouped together...
In my second year in Windhelm, there'd been a drought during the summer, a poor harvest followed by a harsh winter. By Morning Star, the city's stores of grain had run low. Food prices rose and rose, to the point where the guild's burglaries began to target the larder rather than the lockbox. The poor of the city who couldn't follow suit grew steadily thinner and angrier. Eventually things hit the breaking point, and a riot broke out. I'd narrowly escaped being caught up in it, and to my dying day I didn't think I would forget the feel of the crowd's mood changing around me.
I was terrifyingly certain I was seeing the beginnings of the exact same thing right now from above.
A twist of will sent me drifting back down. To my relief, I realised that Ervesa was still there – or should it perhaps be there again? Judging by the half-eaten stuffed flatbread she was holding, she must have left to visit a street vendor earlier. In any case, she was here now, deep in conversation with the swamp-water-selling priestess. Although not so deep that she didn't look up and smile at me as I neared ground level.
"Did you enjoy your time flying, then?"
"I-" I shook my head. "It's not important. Ervesa, I think there's something wrong in the city-"
I didn't get a chance to explain, nor the profoundly skeptical-looking priestess a chance to interrupt, because at that point a man in novice's robes came racing up the stairs.
"News!" I spent a split second trying to parse the word before I realised he was speaking Dunmeris. "News from Ebonheart!" He gasped for air. I could see dark stains where sweat soaked his robes – he must have run the whole way from the docks, driven on by the urgency of his message.
"What is it?" an authoritative voice spoke from behind me. I glanced back to see Lloran again, arms propped on her hips.
"The Imperials- the Imperials have ordered a hlethovryla of Vvardenfell!"
My fledgling Dunmeris failed me at that point, because I didn't know what the clearly most important word in that sentence meant. I could however gather from context – in the form of the initial shocked silence around me, soon broken by angry, fearful voices – that it was likely something bad.
I turned to Ervesa, who was very pale and very still. "What's going on?"
"They've put the island under quarantine," she whispered.
For a moment, I didn't understand what she meant.
I'd encountered quarantines before, of course. Every now and then, a new or changed illness that didn't respond to the standard spells and potions would sweep through the country. Those sick would be isolated while the researcher-healers worked to adapt existing treatments into one the disease would respond to. I'd even heard stories of entire towns cut off due to plague, guards keeping the inhabitants from leaving until the illness that had struck it could be managed.
Never before had I considered that someone might think of doing the same to the entire island of Vvardenfell.
Judging by the rising voices around me, I wasn't the only one going through this process of disbelief. However, my companions seemed to be leaving it fairly quickly. I couldn't make out what they were saying – speaking clearly and slowly for the non-natives among them was evidently not high on anyone's priority list at the moment – but tone of voice and expressions made it clear they were heading straight into rage instead, the clamour of shock and horror slowly turning to an angry roar.
It was a roar that was echoed in the distance, like the growl of a great beast.
My heart skipped a beat. The messenger had driven it clean out of my mind, but now I remembered what I'd seen from the air.
The levitation spell hadn't quite worn off yet. Hoping against hope that I was wrong, I willed myself to rise in the air again. This time, I didn't spend time letting my gaze wander. I focused my vision on the city to the north...
...the city, and the dark mass spilling out from the Arena canton. Even though I'd expected it, it still took me a moment to identify it as a massive crowd of people.
It took precious seconds to reach ground level again, and Ervesa blinked at me as my feet touched the ground, the spell finally fading away. She, I noted with relief, was not among the ones now shouting.
"Adryn? What-"
"There's a riot, spreading from the Arena canton." My words stumbled over each other in their haste to leave my mouth. "It looked like some of them were heading here- Ervesa, you have to-"
To what?
Over the time I'd known her, Ervesa had developed the habit of swanning into my life, rescuing me from some mishap or another, then vanishing again. It was therefore perhaps understandable that somehow, without consciously realising it, I'd built her up to be a figure larger than life inside my head – one capable of saving me from kagouti, ash statues, murder accusations and more, without ever seeming to exert herself in the process.
A grave mistake, because for all her skills, for all her uncanny knack of popping up at exactly the right point in time, at the core of it Ervesa was just a girl not much older than me with no godly abilities to her name. There was nothing she could do to halt a riot that had gained momentum. Judging by her wide, wide eyes and pale face, she knew it as well as I.
I spent a few precious seconds in bitter recrimination: how, after all this time, after the Warp and all that followed, had I still not learned that there was no such thing as heroes in this world?
"We have to hide," I corrected myself. There was no stopping this riot, no keeping it from coming our way, and I was worried that it wouldn't be healthy for us to be out in the open when it did. Especially me, as an outlander. Obviously, I hadn't had anything to do with the decision of quarantine – was in fact in a worse position than many natives, since I was now stuck on an island where I had no real ties – but logic counts for little in these sorts of situations.
Ervesa opened her mouth, but I never got to hear her answer.
Silence descended.
It began behind me then spread out like ripples over a pool, all sound dying away. Around me I could see open mouths, to my left sunlight glinting off rippling water, ahead the bridge that would bring the mob. Yet I could hear nothing at all, not speech nor the splash of waves nor the roar of the riot, not even the beat of my own heart.
One of the priests glanced behind us – then froze. I saw his eyes widen large enough to overtake his face in the split second before he spun round and dropped to his knees. Around us, others began to follow suit, some kneeling, some fully prostrate against the ground
I couldn't help but think that turning my back on the approaching mob was a terrible idea, but curiosity was one of my primary weaknesses and I'd always suspected it would be the end of me one day. I turned around.
I'd made note of the palace that lay beyond the High Fane before, especially as Ervesa had told me two more of the shrines I'd need to visit were found there. Throughout the day a steady stream of people had made their way to it, and in the last half-hour or so I'd been able to observe them closely from my excellent vantage point. Many approached the triangular stone at the top, or entered a small door halfway up beside one of the spigots. Others simply came to lay offerings on the stairs. Flowers, mostly, mixed with some small gleams that I guessed to be coins or jewels – enough the steps were strewn with them. Throughout, the golden door at the top had remained firmly shut, with no one entering and no one leaving.
Until now.
In another situation, I might have said the figure that hovered before the open door looked odd, even bizarre. Bald and clean-shaven, clad in only a loincloth and a jeweled chest-guard, it was distinctly obvious that the – man? - was divided in half, his left side Dunmer but his right gold as an Altmer. His eyes, sweeping over the kneeling crowds, were split in colour as well-
His eyes.
Looking into those eyes felt like standing upright in a howling midwinter gale, a tiny flicker of life trying desperately to hold against the uncaring might of nature. They were ancient, alien, crackling with impossible power. They did not, could not, belong to a mortal.
And yet...
And yet I'd seen those eyes before.
Both golden, they'd been back then, and lacking the unearthly glow that filled them now... but in its place had been mortal emotions. Worry, anger, fear, mirth, joy, love – all reflected in those eyes in bygone days, all burned away by divinity.
"Vivec," I breathed, and saw-
A thin young boy, scowling at me suspiciously. The same boy grown to a young man, drilling with a spear. Him laughing with a red-headed woman and a bearded man, curled up with a journal scribbling away at it industriously, fire flying from his outstretched hands to engulf an armoured Nord-
Him looking down on me, remote and emotionless as my vision grew steadily dimmer, my pulse raced in my ears, I clutched at my throat I couldn't breathe I couldn't breathe-
Here and now, Vivec's eyes met mine.
In the same instant, the pain struck.
The headaches I'd been having were mere pinpricks compared to this. It felt as though someone was taking a hammer to my skull, then pouring acid into the building cracks. I fell to my knees, clutching at my head, but the agony did not relent.
Darkness ate the edges of my vision. I knew this sensation well, from my birthsign. Welcomed it, this time, because unconsciousness would make the pain stop.
Just as before, the last thing I saw was Vivec's face.
Notes:
I've been planning to have Vvardenfell's canonical (?) quarantine come into play around here basically ever since I started writing. That I'm posting this chapter at the same time as a global pandemic is, as said above, just terrible timing. For those who are looking for more escapism in their reading, be aware that the next chapter especially will be dealing heavily with the consequences of the quarantine but there are some significant differences to reality - after all, the Blight isn't COVID-19, and the political circumstances around Vvardenfell are also unique.
Stay safe, everyone!
Chapter 23: Interlude II
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The corridors beneath the Grand Council Chambers looked unchanged from the last time Caius had seen them, the grey stoneworks in the Imperial style hidden by rich tapestries so much like the ones in Castle Bravil they never failed to make him feel homesick. An unobservant man might take this as proof that nothing else had changed in the month since he'd visited.
Of course, no unobservant man would ever make it into the covert arm of the Blades, much less rise to Caius' position. Even here in the seat of Imperial power, tension hung thick in the air, like the air before a thunderstorm as the world waited for the first strike of lightning.
He could only hope it would not strike here, today.
The tension was such that Caius had to fight relief when he made it to his destination with nothing untoward occurring. The door was near the end of the corridor and adorned with a small bronze plate: Asciene Rane.
He knocked once, then a second time, to no answer. Caius was just wondering whether he'd have to resort to his lockpicks – a definite risk, given the servants that occasionally scurried by – when the door opened and he found himself dragged bodily into the small chamber.
"Have you lost your mind," Asciene hissed the instant the door was shut behind them.
Apparently he could worry about lightning in the literal sense in addition to the metaphorical one, because the Breton mage – usually so calm and collected – was furious to the point where she was throwing small sparks. Caius carefully freed himself from her grasp and rubbed his stinging wrist.
"What on Nirn possessed you to come here now?"
Caius gave her his best quelling look. Honed to a fine edge in his years as optio in the Eighth Legion, it had cut many a raw recruit down to size. Even in his waning years, even with the skooma's unyielding grip on him, it was still enough to quell the brats he was now forced to deal with. Despite her rage, Asciene blanched and grew silent when faced with its full force.
"The reason I'm here," he said evenly, "is because I need to go to Mournhold."
A ragged laugh escaped the woman.
"You and half of Vvardenfell! I- I swore, afterwards, that the connection to the mainland had been broken. I was worried they'd tear me apart if not. Do you realise what sort of a mob you'll call down on me if even a hint that I can still offer that escape should get out?"
Another trick Caius had picked up in the Legion: resisting the urge to fill silence. He simply waited expectantly, eyes fixed on the mage, as it lengthened and stretched into awkwardness. She held strong for a while, but eventually it got the better of her. She shifted from foot to foot, rubbed her arms, then finally spoke.
"I- shouldn't you have prepared for this, anyway? After all, it's you people who are to blame for this mess."
An attempt at changing the subject. Caius decided he could be generous for a little while.
"We raised the possibility of a quarantine, yes. But we weren't the ones who panicked and botched the implementation." True, Caius hadn't been in touch with the leadership in a while, but he still felt he could speak with confidence. This mess had Vantinius' grasping fingers written all over it.
And that was enough generosity for now.
"Which brings me back to my original point," he continued. "If we're to salvage anything from this mess, I must get to Mournhold." He paused, just long enough to be ominous. "Unless you're rethinking your service to the Emperor?"
"I hope you fall into a ditch on the way back and break your neck," Asciene snapped. But even as she spoke, light gathered around her hands at her sides and Caius knew he'd won. "At least try to come up with a decent cover story for me, will you? The walls have eyes around here, and," she eyed him with distaste, "as a secret lover you leave a little to be desired."
Twenty years ago, that assessment would have cut his pride to the quick. Of no illusions about his own appeal – what the advancing years hadn't stripped away, the skooma had done for – the Caius of the present day simply snorted dismissively.
"I'm your poor addled uncle, of course. Huge shame to your family, me being hooked on skooma and all, so you've never mentioned me before. But we're still in occasional contact, and when I panicked because of the quarantine I ran to you for help. Hardly difficult. But less believable the longer I stay, so I'm not sure what the hold up here is-"
The last thing Caius heard before the world dissolved into blue light was Asciene's wordless snarl.
On the other side, Effe-Tei was far calmer about Caius' illicit arrival, reacting with only a long glance. Caius wondered if they'd ever considered recruiting the Argonian as an operative. Anyone capable of keeping their cool to such a degree would be an asset.
Although perhaps it was simply that the quarantine was felt differently on the mainland. True, Caius still felt tension in the air as he made his way through the streets, but it was a far cry from the air that had hung over Vvardenfell ever since the news had come down. Here, the storm was building on the horizon instead of poised to break directly overhead, with the merchants he passed relaxed enough to both gossip and cast a disapproving glance at him. It took Caius a moment to realise it was due to his trembling hands.
The chaos that had engulfed the island had affected the underworld as badly as anyone else – Caius' usual supplier had only made it back to Balmora a day ago, with no wares. By now, the withdrawal had reached the point where the characteristic shakes were strong enough to be visible to those he passed. The looks he garnered were contemptuous... dismissive, in fact. Not a single one of them looked at him twice.
Skooma addiction was truly the best cover Caius had ever had. He'd recommend it to the juniors if it weren't for the obvious downsides.
As if on cue, the need for a pipe rolled over him like a wave. The trembling grew even stronger, sweat gathered on his neck, his head began to pound. Caius gritted his teeth as he fought against the cravings; experience had taught him it was a battle he would always lose in the end, but he could at least prolong the defeat.
The fight against withdrawal occupied him all the way along a long, circuitous route to the outskirts of the Great Bazaar, behind a smithy, then – after glancing around to make sure no one was in sight – through a trapdoor. At that point, he was very effectively distracted from the cravings by the smell. Thankfully, he didn't have to enter the sewers proper – not many yards in, he stopped and felt along the wall until he found the latch for the hidden door.
The room behind it was small but blessedly clean, tiny glowing runes on the wall keeping out even the stink from outside. An enchanted magelight set into the ceiling cast a steady glow, illuminating crates piled around the room. Someone had laid a board across some of the larger crates and pulled up two of the smaller ones to make a makeshift table and chairs. The woman thus seated looked up when he entered. "Oh, good. You made it."
Habit made Caius take in the newcomer with a spy's eye.
Redguard, looking perhaps mid-forties, wiry dark hair cropped close to her head showing the first strands of grey, broad nose that looked to have been broken at several points during her life, wide-set dark eyes, plump mouth currently pressed in a thin line, scar running from her chin over her left cheek to her notched ear. Solidly built and muscular, she was wearing battered leather armour with no maker's mark. The blade at her side was another story – the sheath was plain, but the winding decorations on the hilt showed it was no ordinary weapon. The shape, of course, was proof in its own right as well. There weren't many people who owned an Akaviri katana.
Caius himself was not one, and found himself eyeing the weapon hungrily. Although he knew he wasn't suited for the other arm of the Blades – although he knew that chances were they wouldn't take him anyway, given the skooma – some childish part of him still dreamed of the halls at Cloud Ruler Temple. Of protecting the Emperor through honest combat instead of trickery and spycraft, of standing side by side with his brothers and sisters in arms... of being granted his own blade as a symbol of their approval.
Of course, if anyone deserved such an honour it was the woman before him.
"Well, Agent?" she prompted him now, with an air saying that although she was not impatient yet it would be best not to rely on that fact. "Take a seat and tell me. How is the situation?"
There was enough of the Legion left in Caius Cosades that he wouldn't have sat without the explicit invitation, but his aching bones meant he wasn't going to protest the offer. He sank onto the other crate with a groan. "Not sure if my last report got in, Champion, but-"
The woman cut him off with a raised hand. "No identifiers, please."
Long years of training let Caius suppress a snort, but the restriction seemed remarkably pointless to him all the same. Time was that what felt like a quarter of Tamriel would have been able to identify the Eternal Champion on sight, thanks to her crossing the length and breadth of the continent in search of the Staff of Chaos. Even immunis Cosades, as he'd been then, had met her briefly – and the young warrior who'd come to Corinth had aged far better than he had. No, to Caius she was still instantly recognisable.
But it was true that the young ones these days didn't know their history... and besides, Caius wasn't going to argue with his commanding officer.
"Spymaster, then," he corrected himself. "And as for Vvardenfell..." He clicked his tongue. "Ever seen a mine after someone's hit a gas pocket – when they have to send in the surveyors with mage-lights because torches are too dangerous? Vvardenfell's like that. Looks the same if you're not paying attention, but anyone with any sense is terrified out of their wits because they know with the right spark, the whole place could go up."
He'd struggled to keep his voice free of censure, but judging by the Champion's fierce frown he wasn't entirely sure he'd succeeded. Luckily, the expression didn't seem to be directed at him.
"Trust me, the way this whole thing was handled was not my idea. Sometimes I could strangle Vanus and his short-sighted reliance on his Hlaalu cronies..." The Champion's breath hissed out between gritted teeth. After a moment, she shook her head, as though dislodging a pesky fly. "Well, the dice have been thrown, now we have to make the best of where they've fallen. Speaking of – I'll need to debrief you properly later, but the main reason I asked you here today wasn't actually to speak about Vvardenfell." A pause. "How are our... special projects?"
Caius sighed. "We've lost more, I'm afraid. I haven't heard anything about Hefhed in weeks – I think he was killed in the wilds. Oht proved... recalcitrant, and I was forced to dispose of her. Jeb got mixed up in Larrius Varo's fool plot to take down the Camonna Tong, and now his ashes are in the Temple pit." And oh, Caius could murder Varo for his interference. If the Legionnaire wanted to send people on suicide missions, he could damn well use his own subordinates.
"At the moment," he laid out, "the only assets I'd call even remotely viable are Cess, Iya, Neht and Payem – and that's stretching the definition for a few of them."
Afraid the flicker in his superior's eyes was a look of censure, he spread his arms to indicate his helplessness. "Look – I can't work miracles," he said, achingly aware the woman he was speaking to had, in effect, done just that almost thirty years ago. "The assets are untrained, untrustworthy, sometimes half feral. Ordinarily I'd never dream of letting any of them anywhere near a delicate operation like this. I do what I can, but-"
"-No, I understand. Honestly, four potential assets are more than I was expecting, given how we had to select them." The Champion grimaced. "I assume nothing has changed regarding Cess since your last update. What of the other three?"
"Well..." Caius let the words come slowly as he gathered his thoughts. "Too early to say yet for Payem – she barely got in before the quarantine. But she didn't refuse my orders, and didn't go running off to tell someone about a Blades agent, so that's better than some right there. Iya, now – I think she has real potential. Strong-minded, true, with a streak of idealism I'd usually try to break a recruit of, but it might not be a bad thing in this context. Competent for a change, thank the Nine," he had not forgotten the mess that had been Geth, "and capable of being reasonable. Currently she's my recommendation, and unless Payem outdoes herself I don't see that changing."
"Good to know," the Champion said. "And... Neht?"
Thinking on that particular asset, Caius couldn't help letting out a loud groan. "Oh, don't even get me started."
His superior frowned. "What? Is she rebellious as well?"
Caius had to take a moment to think that over. "No," he eventually settled on. "She complains, but I don't believe there's much backbone behind it. Which actually makes her even more worrying. I can get a reluctant asset in line, believe me... but I have never seen anyone as capable of turning even the smallest task into an absolute spectacle, and at this point I'm forced to believe she's doing it by accident."
Fingers tapped on the makeshift table as the Champion's frown deepened. "I'm not sure I'm following."
Her expression did not lighten any as Caius explained just how one Neht – better known outside the room as Adryn – had completely and utterly failed to keep her head down and avoid attention since her arrival on the island.
"Word from Ald'ruhn has it that one of the Temple big-wigs is sniffing around her now," he finished. "I don't know how she even finds these people."
"That does sound like a liability, I admit. Perhaps it'd be best to... cut her loose?"
Caius paused. It had been tiny, almost unnoticeable... but there had been a moment of hesitation there. And in the past, his orders had always been in favour of silencing failed assets permanently, with Caius being the one to argue in favour of letting the more harmless ones be. This was a distinct departure from the norm.
It was almost as though the Champion were interested in Neht beyond simply a potential asset.
If he'd been younger, he'd have pursued that thought, but Caius liked to think all the bad of the last decade had brought some wisdom with it. In this case, the wisdom to know when something was none of his business.
Besides, he had a job to do.
"I'm considering it, but I'd prefer to try out some other options first. I'm guessing the quarantine means an end to the prospectives?"
The question was mostly rhetorical, but the Champion nodded anyway. "It'd be too hard to smuggle them in."
"Then I can't afford to waste any of the ones I have left." Caius shrugged. "I'm doubtful, don't get me wrong, but I'd like to try her one more time. Besides, there must be a way to make an ability to attract huge amounts of trouble useful. Maybe she can be a distraction for Iya."
"I suppose you're right," the Champion said, but her voice was thoughtful and although she was looking in his direction, Caius didn't think those unfocused eyes were actually seeing him.
The moment passed quickly, the Champion's demeanour becoming businesslike once more. "Tell me more about Iya, then, if you think she's the most promising. What's her current status on the island, and how did her 'minor mission' go?"
"Well..."
As Caius settled in to give his report, he did his best to stamp on the sparks of his curiosity. Nothing good, he reminded himself, could come of sticking his nose into the Eternal Champion's business.
Vos hadn't changed much since the last time Beyte had seen it. The behaviour of its people, on the other hand, seemed to have altered dramatically. True, t was an insular community, but she'd visited it reasonably often and had made inroads. The last time she'd been here – three months ago? four? - she'd been greeted with smiles by the docks. This time, nobody seemed to want to meet her eyes.
Beyte suspected she knew what was to blame.
"Could you please try to be a little less intimidating, Father?" She didn't bother trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice. "I wanted to talk to the townsfolk – I can't get any news if you scare them off."
Behind her, her father huffed. "Intimidating? I don't know what you're talking about."
You are wearing full Daedric armour, Father, what are you expecting? More to the point, who on Nirn would attack you?
But Father continued before she could assemble her response. "You forget I've been here fairly frequently of late. The people haven't hidden from me before – this is new." Out of the corner of her eye, Beyte could see his brows draw together in a frown. Then his forehead smoothed. "Ah, well. It's young Aryon's business. He's a good enough manager, all things considered. Has to make up for that terrible taste in architecture somehow."
Beyte, who had quite liked Tel Vos the one time she'd been there, prudently kept silent. She'd learned from Alfe and Father's example that there were times honesty had to take second place to familial harmony – her elder sister, of course, serving as an example of what not to do.
At the Vos Temple, they found the first person who greeted them properly.
"Master Fyr! And young Beyte, too. I trust you're well, my girl?"
Beyte couldn't stop the broad smile that spread across her face when she saw the white-haired figure in the entranceway, arms open in welcome. She accepted the offered embrace, kissing the healer on one whiskered cheek.
"Very well, Kena Bael, thank you. And yourself?"
Beyte had been sickly during her childhood (well, the equivalent thereof), something that had caused Father no end of worry at the time. The process used to create her and her sisters had been beyond experimental, the long-term effects more guesswork than well-founded science, and every cough and fever had made Father fear it was the start of a complete breakdown. The result had been frequent trips to Vos to see the greatest healer of Vvardenfell. The way he'd taken her entirely seriously even considering her physical and mental age at the time, along with (Beyte was forced to admit) his habit of sneaking boiled sugar-drops into her small palm, had cemented his position as one of her favorite people.
"Oh, I'm keeping well enough." Bael patted her cheek before he pulled back. "Although this quarantine has caused no end of work for me."
Beyte and Father traded glances. He looked as puzzled as she felt.
"Quarantine?" she ventured after a moment.
Bael looked between the both of them, eyebrows raised. "I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised." He pressed his lips together. "The Empire, in all their great wisdom, has decided that the threat of the Blight justifies quarantining the island of Vvardenfell. Nobody is to leave. Necessary supplies will be brought in by Hlaalu ships subject to the usual procedures."
A pause, dragging on, as Beyte attempted to digest that notion. It proved rather difficult.
"But... how can they possibly enforce that?"
"Oh, I'd imagine patrols around the coasts, long-range life detection spells-"
This didn't make matters any clearer. "But surely you could just teleport? Or go via Oblivion – I mean, anyone reasonably skilled at magic-"
Father cleared his throat. "I am beginning to think that I've given you a rather skewed view of typical mage capabilities, my dear." There was suppressed laughter in his voice. Beyte shot him a glare. He was the one who'd forbidden it when she'd asked to travel, it was hardly her fault if she was sheltered!
"Although you do bring up a good point, Beyte. They surely can't imagine the higher-ranking Telvanni will find a few ships much of an obstacle."
"Master Fyr, I'm afraid you'll have to ask someone else what our Imperial governors are thinking. All I can say is that I hope said Telvanni will respect the quarantine no matter how it is enforced." Bael gave the two of them a serious look.
"You think it's the correct decision, then?"
"It would certainly have been nice if I was consulted on the matter, but... yes. I do."
Yakin Bael had been a fixture in her life for as long as Beyte could remember. Now, for the first time, it struck her that he looked old. Old, and tired, and defeated. The thought made something unpleasant curl in her gut.
"The tests you suggested last time worked," the priest continued in a low tone. "And they showed Dagoth residue in the blood of the infected."
Understanding felt like ice water spreading through Beyte's veins. Beside her, Father stilled.
"You're sure."
"I ran the tests three times. Yes."
"And it couldn't have been contamination by the ambient-"
"Do I look like an amateur? Of course I isolated the samples beforehand."
Father blinked, clearly thrown off his stride. He was, Beyte suspected, not used to being interrupted. Apart from Alfe, she didn't know anyone who dared.
Beyte herself preferred making use of openings that arose naturally.
"Was it active?"
This, she felt, was the most important question of all. Bad enough the Blight was of no natural origin. If Dagoth Ur had direct influence on the course of the disease... perhaps even mental influence, like Father feared they would one day find in corprus...
Bael tilted his hand in a so-so gesture. "I don't think so. But the findings were... a little odd. I was going to run the tests again just now – I'd be very grateful for your assistance interpreting the results, if you'd care to give it."
Most people would have addressed that to her Father alone, but Bael knew the sort of work Beyte and her sisters did. His gaze made clear the request encompassed them both.
"We'd be glad to assist," Father, of course, answered for the two of them. It was a fair answer, as well – matters were clearly serious, and Beyte might be invaluable as a second pair of eyes with an in-depth knowledge of the effects of Dagoth influence on living organisms. Still, quietly, some part of her mourned the afternoon in town she'd been hoping for. Hairan would probably be wintering in Vos by now-
"Depending on the progress we make and the questions we uncover, you might still be able to visit town later today, Beyte."
He'd sworn it a failure, but sometimes Beyte really wondered if Father's experiments in acquired telepathy hadn't borne fruit after all. Especially when he winked at her. "You could stop by to meet that scout friend of yours in the tradehouse. Provided you promise not to do anything I wouldn't do, of course."
How was it possible that her face was on fire? Shouldn't being a Dunmer give you resistance to that sort of thing?
"Yes, Father! Thank you, Father! Let's go look at Kena Bael's labwork!"
Bael laughed as they made their way towards the Temple. There was something urgent, almost desperate about the sound, Beyte thought. As though he was latching onto any chance to be light-hearted he saw, out of worry there would be none to follow.
She shook the dark thought off. For now, they had samples to test. Beyte's flights of fancy, just as her hoped-for interlude with Hairan, would simply have to wait.
Hours later, the sun had already fallen behind Red Mountain by the time Beyte left Bael's workshop. She was alone, the two men so deep into discussing the findings of the afternoon that she wasn't entirely sure they'd heard it when she told them where she was going. But even if Father was irritated when he noticed her absence, Beyte would hold firm. They didn't need her anymore, while she in turn desperately needed to clear her head.
The findings had been worrying, to say the least. Their worst fears had not been borne out, but the danger was there. The Blight essence they'd isolated hadn't been as merciless – as irreversible – in its effects as corprus, true. But it had proved just as resistant to the standard healing spells, and with a mutation rate that turned Bael's mouth into a grim line.
And unlike corprus, it was genuinely contagious.
Yet as she walked through Vos, Beyte's somber mood began to lighten under force of her usual sunny nature. After all, no one here was sick or dying, none of the Dagoth residue they'd isolated had been truly active, and even with the Restoration resistance Bael had professed himself optimistic he'd be able to develop a treatment for the latest strains. As for Beyte, the tradehouse would be open and selling mazte, and perhaps she'd still be able to catch up with Hairan there. There was no point ruining the remainder of the day by fretting over storm clouds on the horizon.
Besides, Father would fix it. It was what he did.
Lost in thought, stepping through the familiar streets of Vos, Beyte stopped paying attention to where she was going. This proved a problem when she rounded a corner into a side-street to find it already occupied.
"Sorry!" Beyte gasped out as she stumbled back.
Luckily, the man she'd just run into seemed to have weathered the collision with no harm other than a shock. Now he shot her a contemptuous look, lip curled. "Watch where you're going, girl." His voice was a hoarse rasp, as though he'd been ill. Perhaps that was the reason for his bad temper?
She bit down on a cutting retort, reminding herself that in this particular area, Alfe was not a role model to aspire to. "My apologies, I didn't see you there-"
"Wait a moment," the man's companion broke in. "You can't possibly be- Beyte? Is that you?"
Someone she knew? Beyte blinked, looking at the other man more closely. He was young and dark-haired, with a rakish goatee and golden rings gleaming with enchantment winding their way up one ear...
...she remembered those rings. It had taken him six attempts to get them right, and by the fourth he'd given up on keeping Beyte out of the workroom, telling her she could sit and watch as long as she stopped distracting him at a critical point, please Beyte, I know you've had Master Fyr's lectures on lab safety. She'd been much younger then... but, of course, so had he, a skinny teenager still hoping to put on a few inches, trying for a beard even then although at the time it would have more accurately been described as a few hairs with delusions of grandeur.
"...Aryon?" As soon as the last syllable left her mouth, she hastily corrected herself. "Master Aryon?" She might remember him as her father's gangly apprentice, but she'd heard enough to know he was a Council mage now – one who might not be amused by her lack of respect.
Thankfully, Aryon didn't seem offended by her slip. Instead, a wide smile spread across his face.
"It is you! I've heard people mention they've seen you around Vos, but we always seem to miss each other. You're looking very well." A considering pause. "Is your father around?"
"Yes, Master Aryon – he's with Kena Bael at the Temple. The Blight, you know."
Aryon frowned. "Ah... I'd hoped to catch him, ask him about a few things, but that sounds like something we really shouldn't disturb. Perhaps..." He snapped his fingers. "Actually, you might be able to help me, Beyte. Tiram, would you fill her in-"
The hoarse-voiced man had been standing to the side watching Beyte and Aryon converse with a grim look on his face. Now, his brows drew together.
"Master! You can't possibly expect me to tell such matters to some- some slip of a girl, a gossip no doubt-"
Aryon's expression stayed the same. Only his eyes changed, growing hard and flinty. Beyte, who remembered the temper he'd had when he was younger, watched in fascination.
"I haven't introduced you, have I?" His voice was still mild. "Beyte, Tiram Gadar. He works for me in... delicate matters, ones that require his presence here not to be spread around. But, of course, I trust your discretion. Tiram, Beyte Fyr."
Tiram Gadar did not have the control over his emotions Aryon had clearly learned, his expression growing steadily more thunderous with every word until the last. At that one, he paled.
"Fyr? As in... as in Divayth Fyr?"
"My father." Beyte shot the man a sunny smile.
In truth, watching people quiver in terror when they realised who she was related to had grown old by the time Aryon finished his apprenticeship if not before. Part of Beyte wished that one day she'd have made enough of a name for herself that someone would meet her and be in awe of her, not her family. But for the most part, Beyte prided herself on being optimistic but realistic, and she knew the shadow of Divayth Fyr was far too large for her to ever truly escape.
"I... see. You have my sincere apologies if I caused any offense, sera... Fyr."
Alfe and Delte would have let him stew for a while, but Beyte liked to think of herself as more merciful.
"No offense whatsoever."
"I see you're as kind as ever, Beyte." Aryon smiled at her. It froze on his face when he turned to Tiram Gadar. "Luckily for you, Tiram. For the record? I generally have reasons for the things I ask you to do, reasons you may not be privy to. Therefore, when I ask you to do something, I expect you to listen."
"Of- of course, Master Aryon. I- I beg pardon for my disobedience."
Aryon, Beyte noted, did not immediately grant that pardon. As mercy went, she remembered him as far more similar to her sisters than herself.
"As I was saying before we found ourselves sidetracked," Aryon went on serenely, "Tiram works for me in the realm of... covert information acquisition. And he stumbled across a tale involving Tel Fyr. Now, you understand that the last thing I want to do is pry into your family's affairs, but I am a member of the Council and I am simply forced to make inquiries when I hear about..."
He trailed off, giving Tiram Gadar a significant look.
"According to my sources," the man picked up the thread, "two weeks ago a small group including two Mages' Guild members rescued a member of House Redoran who was being held captive in Tel Fyr?"
The professional demeanour was offset by the way he couldn't help but make it into a question at the end.
"Oh," Beyte said with feeling. "That mess."
A pause.
"I wasn't aware your father was in the habit of abducting members of other Houses." Aryon's voice was exquisitely polite. "I mean, apparently Neloth also had a Redoran captive, but from him one expects that sort of thing... anyway! I found myself forced to wonder whether your father might..." he licked his lips, "be developing political interests."
Beyte could feel undercurrents swirling beneath her in this conversation, ready to drag her into the depths. Sadly, she had no idea what they were. For a moment, she wished fiercly that Delte were here.
Well, absent her more politically minded sister, she'd just have to be honest and hope it would be enough.
"Nothing like that – she came to us, in fact. Uupse found her sniffing around, and we decided to stick her in a cell for a few days as a lesson. I mean, you know we're open to the public, but only within reason! She was actually at the entrance to the Corprusarium. We wanted to drive the lesson home. Then..."
Beyte rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment as she remembered. "Well, there was that riot among the new intake, and then Father accidentally stranded half the tower in the Coloured Rooms, and... between one thing and another, to be honest I plain forgot. It's a good thing the food, water and waste disposal enchantments work automatically! So really, the ones who rescued her did us a bit of a favour... aha... ha..."
Her sheepish laugh trailed off into silence.
Aryon heaved a sigh. "If you were anyone else, I'd be skeptical... but that does all sound fairly typical for Tel Fyr. Well, then. If that's how it is, there's no point in wasting your time." He looked disappointed. Beyte, who had absolutely no idea why that should be the case, once more found herself wishing frantically for Delte's presence. "Although... one last thing?"
"Of course, Master Aryon."
"Tiram, you mentioned something about an artifact stolen from Tel Fyr?"
The man jerked to attention. "Ah – yes, sir. A propylon index, which the- the culprits used to escape."
"I believe," Aryon said with a smile, "I remember the item in question. An inscribed crystal, on the shelf in the third storage room, correct?"
Beyte nodded, wary. Rare magical artifacts were something Tel Fyr had in abundance, but she and Delte together had tried to keep something of a catalog going ever since the incident involving Dawnbreaker and the Necromancer's Amulet which had led to not just the loss of both items but also the need to regrow the entire southeastern tower-pod. Besides, the index had caught her attention even before, from the time she'd walked in one day to find Father holding the thing with something achingly far away in his gaze.
Why Aryon was familiar with it, of course, was another question altogether.
"Tiram is in a position to be able to retrieve it, and punish the thief." Tiram made a protesting noise, which cut off rapidly when Aryon shot him a look. "You only need to tell me if you think your father would desire it. Call it a favour on my part."
Beyte considered this.
It would only be fair, she knew. Stealing from Tel Fyr was –
Well, really, stealing from Tel Fyr wasn't forbidden per se. After all, Father found adventurers amusing and had expressed several times that he felt a particularly good performance deserved a reward. But those were always – unimportant things, not ones her father had a clear sentimental attachment to. It would only be right to make an example. Alfe or Delte wouldn't even hesitate.
But it was Beyte standing here now, Beyte who led lost scribs back to their nest and still cried when reading Mystery of Talara. And Beyte didn't like the cold look in Aryon's eyes. Didn't like the thought of this Mages' Guild girl, whoever she was – this girl Beyte arguably owed a favour – being subject to whatever he decided was suitable punishment.
Alfe would call her unbearably soft-hearted. Beyte had given up protesting. In truth, she didn't think it was such a bad thing.
"No," Beyte said after a long moment of silence. "No, I don't think that will be necessary, Master Aryon, but thank you very much for the offer."
Aryon's eyebrows rose fractionally. "As you wish, Beyte. The offer remains open – please do let me know if you change your mind." Hidden behind the words: if your father disagrees.
Beyte felt her smile sharpen. From the corner of her eye, she saw Gadar blanch. He'd met her father, then – Beyte had seen this expression in her mirror before, knew it threw their resemblance into sharp relief.
"I assure you that I will not." You are speaking to me, not Father.
Though the resemblance must have struck him as strongly as his spy, Aryon kept his composure. After a beat, he dipped his head in a nod – one deeper and more respectful than any he'd ever given her before.
"My apologies for the presumption, Beyte. I did not mean to give offence."
Beyte's hidden dreams of making a name for herself in her own right rose once again. Suddenly, they no longer seemed quite so far out of reach. "None taken."
"I must say, Beyte, it's been a true pleasure to speak to you and see who you've become. I hope it won't be a singular occurrence. Might I see you around Vos more often, in the future?"
And the undercurrents were back, opaque to her as always. Perhaps, Beyte thought, if she were to truly pursue that dream she'd need to take some lessons from Delte. For now, all she could do was answer honestly.
"Perhaps later, but not in the near future. I will be travelling." She couldn't keep a touch of relish out of her voice at the words. The circumstances might not be what she had hoped for, but still – Father had relented.
"All the best on your journeys, then, and I shall hope we meet again once they are concluded," Aryon responded. "Do give my regards to your father and sisters before you leave. The doors of Vos, and of course of Tel Vos, are always open to any of you."
"I'll do that. Thank you very much, Master Aryon." The smile she gave him this time was more typical of her, sunny and warm with no edge of threat.
Beyte remained where she was even as Aryon and Gadar continued on their way. Despite herself, her eyes drifted up to Red Mountain, a hulking shadow against sunset's last rays.
The day had brought a cloudless blue sky, and even in the evening the air was clear enough that she could make out the glimmer of the Ghostfence in the distance. For a moment, she simply gazed towards the white-blue glow, let her eyes drift upwards from there to the dark clouds that always hid the mountain's peak no matter how good the weather. Idly, she imagined that if only she stared long and hard enough she might be able to pierce that veil and see all the way into that blighted region. Might be able to see the being whose power lay at the heart of each and every one of the Blight essences she'd spent the afternoon so carefully extracting... was threaded through every single person who dwelled in the Corprusarium.
Whose influence, this afternoon had proven beyond doubt, was slowly but certainly spreading beyond the barrier meant to keep it in.
Then she shook her head firmly to dismiss her flight of fancy and turned to make her way to the tradehouse.
"Here – that's all I could make."
"Thank you, Sosia." Methal smiled at the Imperial as she showed him the stack of bottles. "You've been a great help. Now, would you put those into the small storeroom and start on cure disease potions? We should have more than enough willow anther and chokeweed in stock, but Danoso will be able to help you if anything is running low."
"Of course, Brother. Almsivi's blessings on you."
Sosia was very respectful for someone who was not just unaligned, but an outlander, Methal thought as he looked after her. The Temple could use more like her, especially in current times.
But speaking of current times, he had somewhere to be.
Methal nodded to young Danoso and Ureso as he passed them, making sure to project calm and reassurance with the gesture. The announcement of the quarantine had shocked all of Ald'ruhn, and especially the novices were still out of sorts. Methal, whose long life had taught him that panicking was the worst thing one could do in this sort of situation, was doing his best to offer them some stability. Ordinarily, he would spend the whole afternoon in the common areas, doing his best to be a rock in the storm for the highly-strung young ones. Today he had other plans.
Methal's quarters were spare, a cot with a simple nightstand in a room so narrow he could stretch out his hands and touch the walls to either side. Once upon a time, he remembered, he'd laid claim to a building nearly as large as Ald'ruhn Temple itself. His closet alone had almost been larger than this space, his sheets silk and velvet as opposed to scratchy wool.
He didn't miss those times. Now, privileges of rank gave him all he needed: a room of his own, with a door that locked.
He made use of the second property now, jiggling the rusty key until it turned, then reached beneath the bed. A small wooden box emerged, one that only opened after Methal stroked the top with fingers glowing purple. He was very, very careful when withdrawing the crystal within. It was one of the only ones of its kind left, Methal knew, and the one who'd made them had been either unwilling or unable to create replacements for quite some time.
Of course, perhaps that would change soon.
Methal set the crystal on the nightstand, then – gently – reached out to it with a spark of his magicka. He closed his eyes as the world swirled around him, fighting down rising queasiness. This form of teleportation had never quite agreed with him.
When he opened his eyes, he was in a round chamber larger than the one he had left, one bare of all furnishings except the model – if one could call it that – of Vvardenfell hovering in the air near its center. Two figures awaited him, one standing at the side, the other hovering cross-legged over the dais in the middle.
Methal knelt before his god.
Vivec did not react. His eyes were closed, and Methal could sense that almost all of His attention was fixed elsewhere – on Baar Dau, on the Ghostfence, on the people of Vvardenfell – with only a sliver remaining here.
That was all right, of course. Methal was no longer so arrogant as to demand a response.
"Blessings of Almsivi be on you, Methal," the other figure in the room spoke. "How are things in Ald'ruhn?"
"Tholer." Methal gave his friend a welcoming nod. "As well as can be expected. House Redoran declared martial law after the news broke – a prudent response, in my opinion, when one hears about what almost happened here. Or did happen in Balmora."
Tholer's mouth twisted. "Feldrelo informed us, yes. Did you know part of the mob even set foot in the Temple courtyard? None gained entry to the Temple itself, but there was damage done to the exterior and they were forced to disable the Intervention point for a time."
Methal frowned. "I hadn't heard that. It's worryingly disrespectful, if you ask me. Tempers are high, true, but none of the pious should let that stand as an excuse for blasphemy."
"Exactly my view! I told Feldrelo to demand harsh punishments, but-"
The air around them grew heavy. Tholer's voice cut off mid-sentence as the two priests made their obeisance to their waking god.
On the dais, Vivec's eyes opened.
"How is Nerevar?"
Methal raised his head from the flagstones as he gathered his thoughts. It only took a moment – after all, this was the true reason he had come.
"I believe the plan is starting to work. She appears increasingly positively inclined towards us, and as of recently has been convinced to join the Temple as a lay member. Last I heard, she was going to start on the pilgrimages." He did not try to keep the satisfaction out of his voice. The whole thing was, after all, quite a coup.
However, Methal could not stop worry replacing triumph in his next words. "That said... I'm not entirely certain what became of her after the quarantine was announced. She's not in Ald'ruhn."
He prayed she had not been on the mainland. The girl had never seemed interested in leaving the island – Methal suspected she was running from something, although their investigations had not yet turned up what – but something as simple as a day trip by guild guide to Almalexia could be the ruin of their plans.
His prayers were answered. "He is here," Vivec spoke.
"In the city?" Blessed relief swirled through him, washing away tension he hadn't even realised he was carrying.
Vivec did not respond to the impertinent question, his eyes sliding shut again. The energy in the air remained, however, his attention like a physical force.
"She was at the High Fane when the quarantine was announced," Tholer responded in the god's place. "I didn't intervene directly, as you recommended. From the reports, she was doing the pilgrimages."
Methal couldn't stop a smile at this independent confirmation of what he'd heard from young Ervesa. Tholer, however, was looking pensive. "In the last report you sent, you said she was still very reluctant to commit to the Temple. What changed?"
"An encounter with her ancestors, from the sounds of it. She chanced across her ancestral tomb and would like to know her family."
This was an explanation any Dunmer could respect, and indeed Tholer nodded to hear it. But there was still a faint crease between his brows, and he asked, "Isn't that dangerous for us? If she should discover herself a member of a strong clan, one eager to take her in..."
He trailed off, but the implication was clear: it suited none of them for this new Nerevar to have any other sources of support. The Sarethi connection was already unfortunate, one Methal was frustrated to say that he could think of no way to negate without unduly drastic measures. Tholer was correct that blood kin could pose an even bigger problem, especially if they proved unfriendly towards the Temple.
Except that Tholer did not have all the facts.
Methal closed his eyes. He had always had an excellent memory for faces, and one now swam before him against the red of his eyelids. The woman was older than young Adryn, with straight crimson hair cropped close to her ears in place of Adryn's coppery mess and bearing a confident grin that he had never seen on the girl... but all the same, the resemblance could not be denied.
"I'd had a fair idea of her heritage already. The tomb only served to confirm it. You are right in that it is not one that would serve our interests... but I am certain I can divert her."
He opened his eyes to find Tholer looking at him consideringly. Passing unspoken between them: deliberately keeping a seeker from their ancestors was blasphemy of the highest order.
But, of course, it was not the worst thing either of them had done for their god.
"If you say so." Tholer still sounded skeptical. It was refreshing – to Methal's eternal annoyance, most of those who knew his past were afraid to openly disagree with him. "Although I must admit I still have misgivings about this plan of yours. We know Nerevar can become hugely dangerous to us once the memories come, no matter how harmless his appearance now. With the Sharmat gaining strength, we cannot afford a war on two fronts. It would be so much safer to deal with the potential threat in a more... direct fashion."
The face in Methal's mind changed, became even clearer, the force of twenty years' nightmares giving depth and detail to the visage he saw now. This woman bore no physical resemblance to Adryn, with darker skin, a broader build, and wavy brown-black hair tied back in a single braid. Said braid was threaded with carved beads, tribal tattoos on cheeks and forehead completing the image of an Urshilaku Ashlander. The eyes, too, were different, round and surrounded by thick lashes, the irises a red almost dark enough to be black. Yet somehow, something in them reminded him unerringly of the girl he'd met on the back of a strider.
Well. It was hardly surprising, was it.
"We've learned that, even with the memories, Nerevar's early experiences can strongly influence his later actions," Methal said, trying to push that accusing gaze back down into his subconscious. Peakstar's presence in his dreams was acceptable – her memory (his guilt) intruding on his waking life was not. "I would simply like to see whether we can make that work to our advantage for once, instead of our detriment."
"But the risk-"
"You will proceed as agreed. Watch him, but take no action against Nerevar without my word."
Vivec's words ended the argument, Tholer bowing his head in submission and apology. Despite the fact that he had intervened in the conversation, the god's eyes did not open, and the heavy atmosphere lightened if anything – as though his attention were wavering, shifting to a far distant place and time.
"I love Nerevar."
Methal could not stop himself from shooting an alarmed glance at Tholer, who spent far more time with their god. They were not owed any explanation, so why was Vivec was providing one? And more, doing so as if Vivec were speaking to himself? It did not bode well.
"I wish him nothing but the best. It grieves me deeply to be forced to kill him. And yet..."
Tholer met Methal's gaze, expressionless. Behind him, Vivec's eyes opened again, brilliant gold and glaring red, their light stripping Methal down to his stained and battered soul.
"It grows easier every time."
"Hey. Pilgrim."
There was a song, barely on the edge of hearing. The most beautiful song in the world, he knew it to be, but the more he strained to hear it the quieter it became.
"You deaf, pilgrim?" Something prodded his shoulder.
The whispering notes faded away, reality rushing back in to replace them. Above him, a woman stood with a spear in her hand. She wore netch leather and an Ashlander's face-mask, the scarf pulled down just enough to give a glimpse of facial tattoos trailing over her cheeks.
Familiar tattoos. He'd seen them during those endless terrified days of captivity, listened as that mouth framed the words but why don't we just kill him?
"...Rasamsi?" Beden asked. It came out more like a croak, as though he hadn't spoken in weeks and his voice were protesting the exhertion. "What are you doing here?"
The inked lines shifted as Rasamsi frowned. "Please don't steal my question, pilgrim. I thought I made it very clear that both you and the girl should stay away! Especially as by now even Manat has managed to work out he was deceived."
Slowly, the rest of the world began to come into focus around the woman. Grey skies over a grey landscape, the colour only broken by the occasional dead black tree clawing its way towards the sky... and, in the distance, a fortress brooding on a hilltop.
The Ashlands.
Everything felt muted, as though someone had packed his mind in wool, but even so that sight drove a jolt of surprise through it.
"But... I was near Gnisis, how did I get back here?"
"Walked, from the looks of it," Rasamsi said as Beden levered himself upright. The process was more difficult than it should have been, left him out of breath by the time it was complete.
Rasamsi was still talking. "-can walk yourself straight back, city-dweller. My cousins will be most unhappy to see you. So am I, for that matter, given that it seems you did not adhere to our bargain."
Something in those words should worry him, Beden know, but the idea felt very far away. Instead, he ignored her in favour of wracking his memory for any clue about how he got here. He'd finally been making good progress towards Gnisis, after having to backtrack almost all the way to Ald'ruhn in order to get over the hills to the West Gash. It had started raining, he'd ducked into a nearby cave to take shelter and let the shower pass, then-
Nothing. Only scattered impressions: a pair of red eyes glowing in the dark, stone warm beneath his hand-
A song, achingly beautiful, drawing him further and further into the depths.
"Are you listening to me, pilgrim?"
Beden found himself jolted out of his recollections by Rasamsi's angry tone. Her fingers had tightened on her spear, the blade now tilted forward instead of held upwards at rest. Even in his scattered state, he could identify that as a sign of danger.
"I'm sorry. I'm not... well."
The last word escaped him without his consciously choosing it, as though bubbling up from somewhere deep within him.
As though, the thought struck him suddenly, some small near-buried part of him was screaming for help.
If so, Rasamsi didn't pick up on these subtleties. Her spear shifted back again, but her annoyance did not fade. "And you are surprised? I would also not be well, if I walked through the Ashlands without supplies." Her expression turned thoughtful. "Although... from the looks of that pack, you do have supplies. If you are too stupid to use them, pilgrim, I will take them off your hands."
"Supplies?" Beden asked blankly. He'd lost most of his in his first encounter with Rasamsi and her kin, and although he'd been able to restock a little after his rescue he'd known he'd need to rely on the pilgrimage waystations on his way to Gnisis. Last he remembered, his pack had been light...
Had been, but wasn't now. When he glanced down at it, his pack was clearly full, the flap bulging upwards. For all the world, it looked as though he'd come across a long, oblong object and done his best to cram it in, but he didn't have the faintest recollection of how that happened or what it might be.
"What's this?" Beden pushed back the flap-
As his fingers touched the statue, the song roared back into his mind, eerily beautiful, drowning all else.
How could he have forgotten? The gift of the Lord's statue in the depths of Mamaea, the holy goal he was pursuing. Retracing the miles, step by step, as he grew steadily weaker for lack of true sustenance.
The woman's annoyance turned into fright as he drew out the sacred idol from its wrappings. "That's – Ancestors' fury, pilgrim, put that thing down! Do you know what it is?"
"It is the sign that our Lord awakes," the dreamer answered her, and struck.
The spell caught her unawares, red light splashing across her chest to twine around her limbs. She dropped like a stone. The dreamer bent to pick up her spear, looked at her unconscious form, and considered.
No. She was of Resdayn, she might yet come to understand... or be gifted, as the dreamer had been. He could sadly not yet share the gift himself, but she might meet one more blessed. He had no right to take that chance away from her.
The dreamer left the woman sprawled in the ash as he turned east. Dimly, he was aware that exhaustion had turned his limbs to lead and his stomach was shrivelled in on itself from hunger, but such sensations were faint and unimportant beside the song that called him ever onwards. For a moment, he thought it was coming from the fortress above, but-
No. The heretics had come with fire and sword, desecrated the sacred ground and butchered its priests. One day they might regain it, but for now Falasmaryon was lost to them.
But there was a greater shrine that remained hidden.
The dreamer turned and began to make his slow, shuffling way towards Kogoruhn.
Notes:
Code names used by Caius and Mysterious Eternal Champion taken from the Daedric alphabet, for those who didn't recognise them.
I als took the liberty of adjusting Divayth Fyr's relationship with his daughter-wife-clones, namely by removing the "wife" part of the equation. Reasoning: creepy, creepy, oh my god Bethesda why, and also if I kept it I'd feel myself obligated to include Beyte Fyr's escape from an abusive incestuous relationship and although I'm sure that would make for a pretty interesting story it's not quite what I was planning on for Adryn's tale. We might see an in-universe take on where such a false rumour might have come from later - for now, I hope everyone likes Divayth Fyr, Dad (And Nothing Else).
Chapter 24: Chapter Twenty-Two
Notes:
Fair warning: I continue writing about an enforced quarantine due to infectious disease during, you know, COVID. There may be parallels. They're not intentional except in the "hey, now I have real life data so I can make these fictional reactions even more realistic!" way.
why.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Well, then."
Ranis Athrys sounded distinctly unimpressed. I tried to shrink against the wall in hopes of escaping her gaze, but it was a difficult task. Not only was I, after all, incapable of turning invisible at will, but I couldn't even vanish in the crowds. Although everyone at the Ald'ruhn guild was gathered in its main hall, that number was distinctly smaller than it had been a week ago.
No small wonder, given the chaos that had followed the announcement of the quarantine. It had taken me most of the week just to make my way back to Ald'ruhn; although I'd quickly recovered from the strange fit that took me in Vivec, the city had been in such an uproar that I'd still ended up spending the night on a hastily-erected cot in one of the Temple corridors, unable to make it back to the guild. I'd managed that the next day, only to make the unpleasant discovery that in adherence to the quarantine order, all guild guide services were cancelled until they managed to separate the Vvardenfell network from the mainland. The silt strider service, still recovering from the recent ash storm, had been completely overwhelmed and I'd ended up spending several nights on the floor in the Vivec Mages' Guild before I finally managed to beg a spot on a strider north. The other guild members who'd been out of town when the quarantine hit had similar stories to tell, and for many of the missing we didn't even know if they were trapped on the mainland or stranded somewhere else on the island.
For others, everyone was well aware of their status.
"As you all know," Ranis said, "Edwinna Elbert is currently in Narsis. Given the current... unpleasantness..." I had to bite my lip not to laugh at the understatement, "we do not know when she will be able to return. As such, I am temporarily assuming charge of the Ald'ruhn guild."
I could see a few of my fellow members exchange glances, but no one spoke.
Ranis nodded to herself, as if she was satisfied by the complete silence.
"I am aware recent events have been distressing. However, we of the guild leadership have been doing our utmost to alleviate them, including finding alternate supply chains to replace those interrupted by the quarantine. We want to do whatever is necessary for a quick return to normality, and it is crucial that each and every one of you do your part to aid in that."
"Alternate supply chains." The whisper came from my left, where our enchanter Tanar Llervu was standing. "Hlaalu supply chains, more like."
Ranis stared in our direction. Tanar shut up, but when I glanced her way I saw she was wearing a fierce scowl.
To my great surprise, most of the people I knew had fixated on one particular aspect of the quarantine: the fact that the Empire had given House Hlaalu, and only House Hlaalu, permission to keep running goods to and from the island. A complete blockade, we were told, would be impossible for humanitarian reasons as Vvardenfell imported food. ("Because it would be so terrible if the outlanders had to eat kwama eggs," had been Tanar's scoffing response when that filtered through. "More to the point, they want our ebony.") However, in order to ensure the Blight remained contained on the island, all trade should be funneled through a single organization which was capable of enforcing the new strict hygiene requirements.
So went the official reasoning. Literally every single person I'd spoken to, however, found it laughable. No, any inhabitant of Ald'ruhn would tell you, this was a Hlaalu coup. They couldn't achieve their desired trade monopoly by honest means, so they used dirty tricks to knock out their competition – and spent not a second of thought on the island full of people who would suffer for their ambition.
Personally, I agreed that the political and economic implications were serious, but the fact that nobody seemed worried about the contagious, untreatable disease spreading on the island – the one which was so dangerous that it justified quarantining the whole of Vvardenfell – had made me spend a few days wondering if I was living in a different reality from everyone else.
I'd slowly come to realise that the issue was the Empire.
To me, the Empire had always been much like the weather. One might complain when it was being particularly bothersome, but there was no point really getting upset about it – or questioning why it existed at all. The Empire simply was, unchangeable and eternal as the rain, as winter storms, as the moons in the sky.
Not so in Morrowind. I'd noticed stand-offishness and dislike of outlanders – I could hardly pat myself on the back for my observational skills there, since I'd have had to be deaf and blind to miss it – but what had passed me by until now was that those attitudes grew in the soil of a deep, unspoken resentment of the Empire. Many Morrowind natives still viewed it and what it brought – the Legions, the laws, the government, even the language - as an unwanted imposition into their lives. And so, when the Imperials announced quarantine, it was all too easy for them to fit into that picture. Oh, there couldn't really be any danger. The Temple had it all under control. The Imperials were just making things hard for good hard-working god-fearing Dunmer for no reason... again. I, who'd spent my formative years in the human heartlands of High Rock and Skyrim, was inclined to think the Empire wouldn't cut off an entire island without cause. I was very obviously the minority.
I'd say that I liked to think I was the one with the right of things, but that wasn't exactly accurate seeing as I didn't like thinking it at all. Thinking it made dread pool in my stomach, made me lie awake at night remembering the Blighted guar Gelduin and I had put out of its misery in the West Gash and quietly imagining its weeping sores and inflamed eyes on people. No, I would have loved to believe that the whole thing had been cooked up between the Hlaalu and some crooked Imperial governor, that I and the rest of the population of Vvardenfell had not in fact been deemed an acceptable loss to keep a plague from reaching the mainland. It seemed like it would be a very comforting worldview, and given that so many of my companions subscribed to it I was honestly a little bitter to be left out in the cold.
"You may return to your duties now. I expect you to give them your full attention," Ranis said, and I realised with a start that I'd drifted into thought and missed the entirety of her pep talk. Luckily, no one seemed to have noticed my daydreaming – Ranis especially – but it was still embarrassing. I'd have to ask Tanar later if I'd missed anything important.
People began to file out of the room, low murmurs rising in the air as they discussed this new turn of events. I was just about to follow suit with an internal sigh of relief, when-
"Apprentice Adryn. A word, if you please."
I supposed an easy escape would have been too much to hope for. Had she noticed my distraction after all?
Or- no. Return to your duties, she'd said. And although I'd been very satisfied with the work given me by Edwinna, Ranis' suggested duties had been entirely different.
She couldn't possibly mean to...
"Yes, guildmistress?" I pasted an expression on my face that I hoped very strongly made me look like an earnest, dutiful apprentice, with none of the sudden dread I was feeling shining through.
Ranis didn't respond in words. Instead, she simply jerked her head for me to follow. By the time we reached Edwinna's office, my stomach felt like it had fallen in on itself and I was almost certain my demeanour was no longer helpful and obedient but instead broadcasting please don't make me a guild guide, please.
When Ranis took a seat behind Edwinna's desk, the dissonance broke me out of my terrified imaginings. I'd spent a fair amount of time in this room, discussing some report I'd written, the findings of one of Edwinna's ruin excavations or the latest article from the Cyrodiil Dwemer journals. No matter what the topic, Edwinna was never anything but helpful and encouraging, and her domain seemed to emanate warmth and friendliness. Ranis fit in roughly as well as I had at the Sarethis; I felt oddly indignant on the room's behalf, to be forced to put up with her.
"I'm aware that you were working as an aide for Edwinna's research," she said now. "I'm afraid that you won't be able to continue in that role while she is absent."
I frowned. I wasn't sure either I or Edwinna would have described me that way, especially because...
"I was doing a fair amount of independent work as well. Couldn't I just continue that way until she gets back?"
"Entirely out of the question," Ranis ruthlessly crushed my poor fledgling hope before it even had a chance to grow. "Of course we're not going to let an Apprentice run wild, and there's nobody left at the guild with the rank and knowledge to supervise Dwemer research."
Really? Because our spellmaker Heem-La was a Conjurer, and not only was he a fixture at the weekly Dwemer discussion group, he'd joined mine and Edwinna's meetings a time or two. I'd been quite impressed by his encyclopedic knowledge of Dwemer ruins. I opened my mouth to ask what made him unsuitable-
"Although, didn't I hear something about you working on propylon indices? Folms Mirel would be quite suitable as a supervisor."
That suggestion drove Heem-La so far out of my head he'd probably breached quarantine and left Vvardenfell. I spent a moment simply gaping at the Balmora guildmistress, who didn't seem to see anything wrong with her suggestion.
I'd thought that at this point even the newest guild associate, even Edwinna's ruin divers who might only spend one week in ten in anything one could term 'civilization', knew about the state of affairs between me and Blowfish. Was she completely cut off from the guild gossip vine? But in that case, how had she even heard about my research?
"Apprentice?"
Impatience seeped into Ranis' tone. I swallowed.
"Er. Sorry. I... don't think it would be a good idea."
Ranis' expression indicated that I'd managed to fall short of already low expectations. I had to suppress the urge to fidget beneath her withering gaze, never to mention the two words guild guide I could feel looming over the conversation.
I decided that I wanted to lodge a complaint with the universe. Why, exactly, couldn't Ranis have been the one stranded on the mainland, and Edwinna left in Ald'ruhn where she belonged?
"Well, in that case there's nothing for it," Ranis said. "You'll have to be my agent."
Wait.
What?
"Agent?" I repeated.
"I don't have any academic work suitable for you, and the guild guide role I'd planned for you is now impossible given the quarantine." Right, I'd almost forgotten the guild in question was on the mainland. It was a very strange sensation to suddenly feel grateful for being trapped on the island. "However, I do have the odd task I need handled, and the person who usually takes care of such things for me thought last week was the perfect time to visit his family in Stonefalls." Ranis rolled her eyes, as though in contempt at the man's failure to predict the completely unprecedented travel interdict. "I've heard you might be minimally competent in such things."
"What sort of tasks are we talking about here?" I asked warily.
"Oh, the odd errand. Running messages, procuring information, perhaps the occasional stint as a bodyguard-"
I must not scream at my guildmistress. It was unlikely to make things any better. "You... do realise that I'm an alchemist, right? And Dwemer researcher, I suppose, but in any case not trained in combat. I really can't-"
"Don't play me for a fool, apprentice." Ranis' voice was cold. "I do hear things, you know. Anybody who can infiltrate both Tel Naga and Tel Fyr to retrieve Telvanni hostages is more than capable of handling my small requests."
I opened my mouth. Closed it again. Desperately tried to work out how I could possibly explain that although that was technically close to the truth, for all practical intents and purposes she'd gotten things terribly wrong-
Alas, Ranis didn't care to give me the chance. "Unless you only care to use your skills to aid House Redoran... but in that case, I fail to see why the Mages' Guild should keep you as a member." I'd always thought of crimson as a warm colour, but her eyes were like two chips of ice in her face. "Well, apprentice?"
The thought suddenly struck me that Ranis had known Blowfish would never willingly work with me. Of course she had. She'd simply been making a point about my lack of other options.
My thoughts whirled frantically as Ranis' gaze bored into me. Sadly, as the seconds dragged on it became clear that this time, she had me thoroughly trapped. With Blowfish's enmity, Edwinna's absence, Trebonius'... Trebonius, and the fact that I really shouldn't show my face in Sadrith Mora for a while, I'd run out of other guild heads to hide behind. I could do as she said, or I could leave the guild – and, as I'd realised not so long ago in Maar Gan, I wasn't ready to take that step yet.
"All right," I finally said. "I'll do it."
Ranis' ice glare of death warmed until her expression could be described as merely frosty. She didn't smile; I was beginning to suspect her face would crack in half if she ever did.
Although really now – I hadn't paid attention, but I didn't think she'd acted this like this with the other Balmora guild members. Haughty, unfriendly and very full of her own authority, yes... but not as utterly unwilling to listen as she was with me. I was beginning to get the impression she disliked me personally – but why? I hadn't done anything...
I considered the events that had transpired since I'd joined.
All right, so it was possible I'd become involved in a few things that might, theoretically, harm the reputation of the guild or gain it enemies if more widely known. I was of the firm opinion that all these transpirings were entirely involuntary on my part and therefore not in fact my fault, but thinking about it Ranis Athrys might have missed that part.
"Very good," Ranis said, and I decided to put the question of how to convince my guildmistress that I wasn't a reckless renegade aside for later. "Now, the first thing I want you to do..."
As I listened, I hoped desperately this would go better than I feared.
The first I learned of how Balmora had changed since my last visit was the cold voice that greeted me when I came out of the teleport.
"Step away from the platform, hands at your sides."
"It's all right, she's a guild member!"
The second voice was more familiar, and when I blinked the world back into focus I saw Masalinie. She looked rather pale and drawn compared to the last time we'd spoken. A week ago, I'd have assumed it was something to do with the two armoured figures flanking her, their hands on their weapons.
A week ago, Vvardenfell had been a very different place.
"Adryn!" Masalinie looked as though she wanted to hug me but – with a glance at the guards at her side – refrained. "You're safe! Last we heard nobody knew where you were-"
"I was in Vivec when the quarantine hit, didn't manage to get back to Ald'ruhn until recently. The network going down really threw everyone for a loop." I studied Masalinie's face more closely. Up close, I could tell she was trembling faintly and there was a dark patch on one cheek I'd taken for a shadow but was actually a bruise. "But what about you? You don't look well."
"Some people thought I could still send them over to the mainland after we shut down the network. They didn't want to take no for an answer." Masalinie's smile was a sickly thing. "Thankfully, the Fighter's Guild has been kind enough to lend us some support."
"It's our pleasure to help our neighbours," said the Redguard who'd threatened me on my arrival, his tone now noticeably warmer.
"Particularly as it's in our interest to have the Vvardenfell network back up and running again, too," his Breton colleague chipped in. She looked familiar, bringing back vague memories of chatting with a Fighter's Guild scout on the way back from Suran in my first days on the island – half a lifetime ago, it seemed now. "And that's not going to happen as long as you mages have to worry about people who think beating you up is their path off the island."
Masalinie touched her cheek. I decided very rapidly that I would never, ever be mentioning the fact that I also knew the guild guide spells to anyone as long as the quarantine lasted.
"But what are you doing here, Adryn?" she asked. "I know you're part of the Ald'ruhn guild now." Something bitter flashed over her expression. "Sounds like a better place to be right now, too."
I couldn't argue that. I'd come back to grim expressions, a strict curfew and Redoran guards at nearly every corner, but to my knowledge nobody had accosted Erranil, and we didn't need fighters stationed within the guild itself.
"Trust me, I'd rather be staying there," especially after getting back had been such an ordeal, "but I have some things to do here in Balmora."
I refrained from going into detail, as Ranis had asked me to keep the details of our new arrangement between us. Although that was of course not going to stop me from sharing them with my friends – if she wanted actual loyalty from me, her current approach was not the way to get it – it was enough to stop me from doing so in the middle of the guild, with two strange Fighter's Guild members listening in.
"Ajira is fine, just so you know," Masalinie said. "Not in Balmora, though. She went up to Fort Moonmoth the other day and isn't back yet."
Disappointment sat heavy in my stomach. I'd heard that Ajira had come through recent events all right, but had hoped to look in on her myself to reassure myself of that fact.
Still... the quarantine had been announced on a Fredas, which meant young Ma'Zajirr would still have been at Fort Moonmoth when chaos engulfed the island. It was hardly a surprise if Ajira had gone after him, even considering her fear of travelling outside of town.
"Thanks for telling me," I said. "I'll have to catch up with her some other time. But that wasn't the only reason I came to Balmora. Do you happen to know an Argonian by the name of Only-He-Stands-Here? I have a message for him, and I've been told he's still in town."
A message, indeed. Controlling my face, not letting any of my fear or distaste show, took a real effort of will. I was not happy about my first task as Ranis' 'agent'.
Masalinie frowned, clearly searching her memory. Before she could respond, however, the Redguard cleared his throat.
"Believe I do. Healer, isn't he? Lives down the alley near the river, but spends a lot of time in the South Wall Cornerclub."
I decided that, in addition to my apothecary business, I could look into making some money through weight-loss remedies (something rich nobles were always interested in). The way my appetite had fled within moments, the faint sensation of hunger that had been so-insistently informing me breakfast had been a long time ago replaced by queasiness, was downright magical. It must be possible to bottle it somehow.
Focus, Adryn.
"...the South Wall Cornerclub, you say?"
"Yes. They've actually reopened already, believe it or not – all the other taverns are still shut until things quiet down. You could try there."
"Thanks for the information," I told him, trying not to let my abject despair show.
Of course the man I was looking for was associated with the Thieves' Guild. As if I needed more proof that the universe had it out for me.
"You say you have a message for him?" In fact, more proof might be materialising right now, seeing as the Breton scout had an unfriendly look in her eyes. "What sort of message might that be?"
Oh, apparently he's offering illicit Restoration training, and our most honourable guildmistress wants me to get him to stop. You know, threaten him a little and all that.
Having more intelligence than a kwama (or its equivalent, a Varvur), I did not say any of that out loud. Especially as I suspected this might be exactly what she was hoping not to hear.
After all, Only-He-Stands-Here would hardly be an illicit trainer if he didn't have customers, and the Redguard had known where he lived. I imagined the Fighter's Guild found it quite handy, to have a healer and teacher who wasn't charging guild prices. I couldn't even blame them – Nine knew I'd made use of non-guild-approved mages in the past – but it meant that honesty was definitely not called for.
"Oh, I'm acquainted with some of the healers who work at Ald'ruhn Temple," I said. "Sometimes I run messages for them – and they're really trying to pull together all knowledge on diagnosing the Blight right now."
Each individual part of that sentence had the advantage of being true, although the implied inference – that I'd been asked to get information from Only-He-Stands-Here about Blight diagnosis – was definitely false. In fact, I hadn't actually spoken to any of them directly since returning to Ald'ruhn, although I'd been hoping to change that today.
Although everyone in Vivec had treated my fainting fit as a benign, even positive thing – being overwhelmed by Vivec's divine power was nothing to be ashamed of, I'd been told more than once – it sat badly with me nonetheless. I wasn't exactly prone to religious fervour to the point of losing consciousness, and although remembering the time immediately preceding said fainting fit was strangely difficult, the few fragments I could piece together indicated my new headaches might have played a role. All in all, it added up to a worrying picture, and I'd been hoping Sosia – who helped at the Temple as an independent, and professed only a vague belief in the Nine – might be willing to take the time out of her day to perform a health check. Sadly, my most esteemed guildmistress (substitute edition) didn't believe in asking apprentices what their plans were before sending them off on completely unsuitable missions.
Speaking of completely unsuitable missions, it seemed my dissembling had been successful, because the Redguard was nodding. "Makes sense, I heard him mention he's been looking into the Blight. Greet him for me, will you?"
"I'll do that," I responded, and went to quickly make my escape.
Not quickly enough, it turned out, because as I was leaving the guild common area someone caught my arm. I froze.
"Excuse me?"
"Ah, Adryn." Estirdalin let go of my arm with no sign of guilt. I could feel myself tensing up. I mainly associated the Altmer with her telling me all about my newfound learning disability in front of an audience. The resulting dislike was possibly unfair – it wasn't as if she'd given me Ledd's Syndrome – but hard to shake, and I'd been quietly content to not see her around much after moving to the Ald'ruhn guild.
The dislike was apparently not mutual, because Estirdalin looked happy to see me. "It's good to know you're on the island still. Such confusion these last few days, really, we still don't know where Marayn is – well! What brings you to Balmora?"
"Oh, I'm taking a message to someone. Only-He-Stands-Here - healer, lives near the river?"
Estirdalin's smile widened, taking on an almost triumphant cast. "Well, finally! It's about time Ranis sent someone to have a word-"
Alduin's breath, did she have no sense of discretion at all? The woman hadn't even lowered her voice! I could feel the guards' eyes burning into my back from where they stood beside Masalinie.
"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," I said loudly. "It's an errand I'm running for the Temple, nothing to do with the guildmistress at all."
"Of course, of course," Estirdalin said, but judging by the way her smile didn't slip I didn't think she believed me. "Whatever you say, my dear. All that aside, I've been meaning to have a word with you."
Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm afraid I'm in a hurry-
Alas, the Altmer wasn't going to give me time to weasel out of this. "I don't like to give too much credence to guild gossip," she went on without giving me the chance to get a word in edgewise, "but I've heard you were investigating propylon indices with Tiram Gadar?"
I frowned. "With is something of an exaggeration. I've been working on them on my own, he showed interest, we met once to discuss them."
The man had been pleasant enough, but either he was somewhat dim or Ledd's syndrome had struck again, because he hadn't seemed to understand my theories about how they worked at all. All in all, the meeting had been a disappointment, and when he suggested repeating it I'd immediately started looking for excuses. The quarantine served that purpose nicely – especially given that I hadn't seen him in the Vivec guild at all afterwards, and I'd spent enough time there that I should have if he'd been around. With any luck, the man was stuck on the mainland.
"Ah. I suppose that makes sense."
"What does?" I asked, feeling wary.
Estirdalin hesitated. "Well... it's speculation, and I wouldn't want to gossip..."
As one might imagine, this only served to heighten my curiosity. "I promise I won't spread whatever it is any further."
"...I suppose that would be all right," Estirdalin answered after a moment of hesitation. She darted a glance at the Masalinie and the Fighter's Guild members. "If you'd join me in the kitchen?"
How nice to know that the Altmer was capable of discretion when it was something she wanted to keep secret. "Of course."
"Not long after he joined the guild," Estirdalin began in a low voice once we were esconced in the private area, "Gadar began to work closely on novel uses of the water-walking spell with another apprentice. He later published a paper on the subject in the Crystal Tower Annals, in which he thanked her for her assistance in the acknowledgements. But... when it appeared, the apprentice in question was furious. She said it had been her work primarily, with Gadar's part being incidental at most, and he had no right to claim it as his own."
I frowned. I'd thought I was more or less up-to-date on guild gossip, but I hadn't heard this before. "Which apprentice?"
"You wouldn't know her, I'm afraid. She left the guild afterwards, when despite her lodging a complaint the paper was not retracted. She was very angry... people don't like talking about it. Ranis Athrys said it was a clear case of an apprentice overestimating their own contribution and being too greedy for their own good, but I always wondered." Estirdalin paused. Very delicately, as though picking her way past pressure plates, she said, "Gadar did seem quite clear when he talked about the two of you collaborating. In fact, at one point he may have framed it as you helping him."
The surge of indignation took me by surprise. The me of a few months ago, who'd joined the guild looking for stability and a roof over her head more than anything else, wouldn't have cared. Pointless academic posturing, she'd have called it. Who cared about some long article that would be read by perhaps a dozen people, or about whose name stood on the byline? Some of us had real problems to be concerned with.
But apparently my time in the guild had changed me more than I'd thought, because now I cared. That was my research, my work, me hiding from ash monsters at Falasmaryon or trudging through the swamps near Hlormaren, me running the risk of having Blowfish lose his temper and actually try to set me on fire one of these days. I'd be damned if I'd let Throat-Ailment take any of the credit for it.
"Well," my voice was frosty as the Pale in midwinter, "now you know better. It's my work, Thr- Gadar had nothing to do with it."
"I'll keep it in mind, Apprentice." Estirdalin sounded satisfied that I was taking her seriously. Perhaps, I decided, she wasn't all that bad. She hadn't had to warn me, after all. "Do give my regards to Only-He-Stands-Here."
Or perhaps she was that bad. Our conversation had made me forget all about of what had brought me to Balmora, which frankly was a happy state of affairs. Why did she have to go about reminding me?
"I'll do that," I told her, and went to face my doom.
Outside the guild, the differences between how Balmora and Ald'ruhn had handled the quarantine became even more apparent. Ald'ruhn hadn't been a comfortable place to return to, true – House Redoran was out in force, with guards glaring at you suspiciously at every corner, and the strict curfew along with the ban on public gatherings left most of us feeling stifled. All the same, the harsh measures had succeeded in their aim: channeling the residents' understandable anger away from pointless destruction.
The same could not be said for the Hlaalu, it seemed. The streets, eerily empty of people, were instead littered with debris. Scattered shards mingled with spoiled food showed that many of the large pots people kept outside their home had been smashed, and boards covered many windows and doorways. Here and there I made out actual scorch marks.
Although really, the scale of the destruction shouldn't surprise me. Hlaalu was less military than Redoran, and the anger at them had been far greater after their arrangement with the Imperials became common knowledge. The other Houses and the Temple had had the quarantine forced upon them, so people thought, while Hlaalu was not just complicit but exploiting it for its own gain. The effects were obvious.
Really, I should probably be glad I'd been stuck in Vivec so long. The mood had been dire, true, but there'd been no violence. Not after-
A pair of mismatched, glowing eyes, radiating power-
My mind skittered away from the memory like a drop of water on hot stone.
What was I doing, anyway? One only had to take a single look around to realise that I shouldn't linger on the streets.
Only-He-Stands-Here lived in the lower floor of a small house near the river. It seemed to have been spared some of the destruction, with several crates still intact beside his door and his window whole and unbroken. Well, I supposed it made sense. Even when tempers were high, nobody wanted to annoy the neighbourhood healer.
I rapped on the door. Nothing happened. Nothing continued to happen for a long enough amount of time that I started to daydream about heading back to Ald'ruhn unsuccessful. So sorry, guildmistress. I couldn't find him – are you sure he's not stuck on the mainland? What a pity, really. But don't put yourself out thinking up something else for me to do, I'll just occupy myself with these books, stay out of your hair...
"What is it, smooth-skin?"
Lost in thought, I hadn't noticed the door creak open. A slit-pupilled green eye stared out from the crack.
"Only-He-Stands-Here? I'm-" not going to introduce myself to someone with Thieves' Guild ties- "from the Mages' Guild. I'd like a word."
Absolute silence. The eye stayed focused on me, unblinking. I got the impression its owner was thinking very rapidly.
"I'm unarmed and not a combat mage." I could be helpful, right? "I only want to talk."
Slowly, the door opened. The hinges squealed, as though expressing their owner's reluctance.
"Come in, then. And quickly."
Inside, I found a small, well-appointed home. Like Ajira, Only-He-Stands-Here had managed to fit his whole life into the single room he had available. In one corner, a kettle sat on a low hearth, in another, reed dividers almost hid a fur-laden bed from view. (I gave the thing a jealous look; the lack of privacy in Ald'ruhn dorms was wearing on me.) A low sideboard held a full set of journeyman-quality alchemy apparatus which I also eyed enviously. Pride of place, though, was given to a Dwemer table which was apparently experiencing a second life as a healer's workstation. A young Khajiit sat perched on it, staring at me curiously.
"Tsahbani, please go to your aunt," the Argonian told her.
"But-"
"Now, please. Let her know I have a- guest-" I could hear another word hiding behind that pause, "and will not be able to teach you this afternoon."
"Really? All right." After a last look at me, the kit scampered.
"I didn't mean to interrupt your time with a patient. Or student," I told him. "I could have waited."
Only-He-Stands-Here gave me a long glance. "You are very polite. I must admit it is unexpected." His head-frill jerked. "It behooves me to be polite in turn. Tea?"
Nobody could call themselves an alchemist and not feel a frisson of alarm when an Argonian offered them tea. "Er-"
"Hackle-lo." Only-He-Stands-Here gave the impression that although he was too polite to roll his eyes, I should understand the temptation was great and refraining took a significant expenditure of will on his part. "I have lived in Morrowind many years, I do understand smoothskin physiology. And poisoning you would not be..." his chin-tendrils twitched, "proper, here and now."
Despite the situation – in particular, my distinct and pressing desire not to be in it – something in me relaxed at that. I could see the guild ties, now, and although they were of course extremely dangerous to me it was still so nice to be in the presence of someone who understood how things worked.
"In that case, I'd love a cup. Thank you very much," I said sincerely.
A short time later found us seated on stools in front of the tiny hearth, clay mugs held in our hands. (The tea was indeed not poisoned, I had been pleased to discover.) My back was to the door, which I didn't much like, but there had been no way to rearrange our seating without being extremely rude. I consoled myself that judging by my experience on entry, an intruder would deafen me long before they managed to get the door open.
Our conversation thus far had been polite, superficial – how did I find Vvardenfell, how long had Only-He-Stands-Here lived in Balmora, and of course the unavoidable topic of what a shock the quarantine had been. Now, the formalities dealt with, we turned to the heart of things.
"It is a great surprise, seeing a member of the Mages' Guild cross my humble threshold. He wonders what he can do for you."
The body language wasn't giving anything away – not that I had a lot of experience with Argonians, anyway – but I thought the slip into third person might signal nervousness.
If so, he was still probably less nervous than I was, given how much I didn't want to do this.
"Ranis Athrys sent me," I said, doing my best to shift the blame for this whole situation where it belonged. "It came to her attention that you've been offering Restoration training without Guild approval."
A beat of silence. Then the Argonian let out a long hiss. It sounded remarkably like an overheated kettle – I even shot a quick glance at the hearth before I realised where the noise was coming from.
"Is the smooth-skin serious? The island under quarantine, dangerous illnesses seeping out from Red Mountain, society on the brink of collapse, Hlaalu being given a trade monopoly-" I got the impression that once again the last point was the most offensive to Only-He-Stands-Here- "and this is what the guildmistress chooses to focus on? A poor humble healer, passing along a few tricks he picked up along the way?"
I was fairly certain the Argonian was nothing of the sort. But other than that, I had no rebuttal.
So I went for agreement instead.
"I know! Her priorities are absolutely out of order. We only got the guild guide network up and running again two days ago, at least one guild head is stuck on the mainland, there are so many things she should be focusing on right now. What does she do? Twist my arm into going off to harass innocent healers."
It wasn't even as if I was in favour of the guild monopoly on paid magical teaching of more than the simplest spells. Why shouldn't a skilled healer be able to pass down their knowledge for a fee even if he wasn't registered with the guild?
"I am... glad you understand my position, mage." Only-He-Stands-Here seemed calmer, or at least unlikely to resume making noises that were better suited to angry kitchenware.
"Tell you what," I offered. "How about a deal? You try to be a bit less conspicuous about your training, tell people something about how the Mages' Guild found out and forced you to stop. I go back to Ranis and tell her you've agreed to stop, you continue training people on the down-low, we're both happy."
The Argonian tilted his head, eyes staring over my shoulder, his chin-tendrils winding back and forth. After a long moment, they stilled. Only-He-Stands-Here nodded, as though he'd come to a decision.
"Yes. Yes, this is a solution it can work with. Thank you, Adryn."
It was always so nice when people could find a mutually acceptable compromise. "Glad to be of-"
Wait.
My smile froze on my face as I realised there was something very, very wrong about what he had just said.
"I... didn't... tell you my name."
"You didn't have to," said-
a voice-
from behind me.
Tea sloshed over my hand as I sprang to my feet, whirling around.
"Hello," the Khajiit said. The green light sparkling around her fingers explained how she'd entered without my noticing – it also made me flinch back as the memories started to well up from where I'd suppressed them.
It isn't wise to stand against the Thief-King-
This was absolutely not the time to start having a flashback! I wrenched my thoughts back to the present with the force of pure desperation.
"This one is Sugar-Lips Habasi," the Khajiit went on. Her eyes were a gleaming merciless yellow where they rested on me. "Mastermind of the Thieves' Guild in Balmora. And you are Adryn, once joint leader of the Windhelm guild." She didn't even have the decency to make it a question. "Habasi has wanted to speak with you for a long time now."
I had to admit, in all my imaginings of what the guild might do if it caught up to me-
Well, to be truthful, there had been no such imaginings. Thinking too closely on what the guild might do meant thinking about why it was after me, which brought me invariably back to green light stealing my will away and a bloody dagger in my hands. Even over a year later, the horror of that day was such that I could not bear to face it straight on. Better to teach my thoughts to go around, in the same way a traveller in the wilds might give a wide berth to a sleeping snow bear.
But if I had at any point imagined what the guild's reaction would be, offering me more tea would not have been anywhere on the list.
"The former Mastermind is shaking. Is she ill? Habasi has no use for a former Mastermind who is sick. Especially not these days."
"It is shock, I believe," Only-He-Stands-Here answered. "Some people are taken badly by sudden surprises. More tea will help."
And so I found myself nursing a second cup of tea as we all waited for my trembling to ease. It was taking its time. Matters were probably not helped by the fact that every few seconds the fear that Habasi might have readied another Illusion spell stabbed through me.
Eventually, Habasi seemed to give up on me calming down. She propped her hands (not glittering with green, not-) on her hips and began to speak.
"Habasi must thank you for coming here. She has been wanting to speak with you for quite some time now! Ever since she heard the former guild leader was on the island, in fact. But this way, you have made it easy for Habasi, no need to arrange a meeting or travel to Ald'ruhn. It is very gracious of you."
"Great. Wonderful. So happy I could spare you the effort," I heard myself saying – which was surprising, seeing as my actual brain was still stuck on panicking and had definitely not given any instructions to my vocal cords. Well, it was good to know that my mouth was capable of independently producing sarcasm in extreme situations. I'd just rather have found out in any other way.
Judging by the low purring rumble in her throat, Habasi did not take my response as a reflexive unthinking reaction of someone half out of her mind, but instead thought it meant I was recovered enough for conversation. I'd always known my habit of ill-advised snappy comebacks would come back to bite me one day.
"Habasi was surprised, to hear the one called Adryn was here. Surprised and a little afraid, she must admit." A pause, as though she was taking the time to carefully aim her shot before letting it fly. "After all, who would not be concerned about someone who murdered her fellow leaders in cold blood?"
The words fell into the silence of the room like a stone into a pool, ripples gathering force as they spread from the center.
A dagger, hilt pressed into my palm-
Cold sweat beaded my trembling hands.
Habasi tilted her head, questioning, quizzical. Behind her, Only-He-Stands-Here was a hulking shadow.
"But then the reports began to come in, and Habasi thought that perhaps the story is not so simple, yes? After all, the so-called Thief-King-" she wrinkled her nose in clear distaste at the ostentatious title, "he says this Adryn is dangerous, a ruthless killer. But that does not match the tales Habasi hears of her actions on Vvardenfell. And of course, if he is truly only concerned for her victims, why does he want the girl brought back to him alive?" She shook her head. "No, no. Habasi was not born yesterday. Adryn was framed, was she not? The killer was someone else."
Someone else.
Oh, how desperately I wished that had been the case. That I'd been out all day, come home late and opened the door to find-
Ingerte had always had such a presence about her, turning herself into the center of every room she entered. She'd been so impossibly small in death, her slumped body reminding me horribly of a discarded rag-doll.
Charon's face, dark eyes wide and horrified as he tried to fend me off bare-handed. "Snap out of it, Adryn!" he'd yelled.
He should have saved his breath. Maybe then he'd have been able to dodge.
A crash returned me to reality. My mug had slipped from nerveless fingers, and now lay in shards on the ground. The spreading pool of tea looked-
Not like blood, I told myself sternly, trying to wrench my thoughts back to the present once more. That terrible day lay over a year in the past and a whole province away, and there was nothing I could do to change it now. The situation was bad enough it would behoove me to pay attention and not get...
Distracted.
"What," despite the tea my voice was a rasp, "do you want?"
Habasi's eyes flickered between the shards and me. The pure calculation in that gaze was oddly steadying. If I'd seen any pity, it would probably have broken me.
"Habasi must beg a thousand apologies! She is being so very rude, prying into the former guildmaster's past like this. Let us speak of the present instead, no?" The smile was close-lipped, friendly, far too perfect to be real. "Habasi thinks that it would be so very nice for us to be friends. She takes good care of her friends, the former guildmaster should know. She would never betray a friend to one who..." her whiskers twitched, "hurt her."
Note to self, try to avoid falling to pieces in front of an enemy next time. Habasi had definitely gleaned more from my minor breakdown than I'd have liked.
"After all, friends help each other, do they not?"
The underlying meaning was obvious. It really shouldn't have come as a surprise, but then I'd been focused on other things.
I got the impression that whatever reaction Habasi had expected, it wasn't for me to burst out laughing.
The Khajiit frowned, turned her head to murmur to the Argonian behind her. "Is the healer certain she is entirely well in the mind?"
"I did mention the shock, did I not? Please do stop riling her up, I only have so many mugs."
Slowly, I got myself under control, my chest shuddering as though I were fighting sobs.
"Of course. You're blackmailing me. I don't know how I didn't see it from the start."
I decided not to explain how horribly, horribly ironic the situation was. It was none of her business, for one... and besides, thinking on it further it really wasn't funny at all.
"Blackmail is such an unpleasant word," Habasi chided me. "Habasi prefers to think of it as... a few favours."
"Between friends." My voice was drier than the Alik'r.
"Habasi is glad you understand! She would so like to be friends."
And I, the implication hung unspoken in the air, should very, very much want to be friends with Habasi as well, as anything else would be very bad for my health. I appreciated the fact that she didn't spell that part out. I liked to think it was out of professional respect.
I considered.
In truth, I really had no options here. Habasi held all the cards, had collected them before I even realised we were playing.
"What... favour... were you thinking of?"
Habasi smiled.
Afterwards, I walked blindly away from the healer's house as fast as my feet could carry me. I didn't make for the Mage's Guild – there was a storm brewing inside me, and I didn't want to be around anyone I knew when it broke.
I finally stopped at the low rail over the river where, on a happier day, Ajira and I had sat together and had lunch. My right foot hurt; I thought something was wrong with my boot. On inspection, I realised that I'd stepped on one of the shards of the broken cup on my way out, and it had driven itself deep into the sole.
The spilled tea had really looked nothing like blood at all.
The streets were still deserted, the inhabitants of Balmora still wary of leaving their homes. As such, there was no one to see when I burst into tears.
The sun had still not risen by the time I reached the top of the hill, but the sky had lightened considerably. Azura's hour, in other words, and I found myself saying a reflexive prayer as I stared upwards. In the east a rosy glow heralded the imminent arrival of dawn, but in the west the last constellations were still visible, faint shining pinpricks against the dark. The Serpent in particular caught my eye. I could almost imagine its bared fangs dripping poison.
I whispered an apology to my goddess. I owed her better than my distraction, but right now there was no serene contemplation within me.
"Are you sure it's wise to be outside camp, Nerevar?"
Apparently my attempt at prayer was doomed for more reasons than one. I would have sworn that nobody but the watchman was awake when I left, but apparently Voryn had risen and followed me.
"Given the reports we've had from the coast, I'd in fact call it downright foolish."
I'd already opened my mouth to argue, which left me feeling remarkably stupid when no arguments actually came to mind. The fact of the matter was that Voryn was right. We hadn't heard of enemy movement nearby, but with the extra forces the Nords had brought in to suppress our rebellion that could change at any point. All in all, it definitely wasn't safe to be wandering around alone.
It was just...
"I'm sorry, Voryn. I needed to clear my mind."
"If one of their scouts shot you, your mind would definitely be empty afterwards," came the caustic reply, making me wince. But then Azura must have decided to bless me despite my lackluster piety, because his voice softened. "Whatever is weighing you down, Nerevar, I'd be happy to talk it through with you. There's no need to go make a target of yourself."
I considered. It wasn't such a bad idea, in truth. More and more of my own clan were looking to me for leadership, which meant I couldn't burden any of them... but Voryn was of Dagoth. An ally, like Dumac, but without the misunderstandings coming from our very different cultures that still occasionally shadowed my dealings with the Dwemer.
"Let's talk as we go back to camp?"
"Of course," Voryn responded, generous in his victory.
"It was the battle yesterday," I explained a little later as we picked our way down the slope. "I'm not sure if you saw – there was the one archer, killed two of ours before I managed to... neutralise her."
"I do remember that. You hit her with a Command spell, didn't you? Very neatly done." Voryn sounded approving. At the start of our rebellion, I would have basked in that – in the validation I'd been so desperate for at the time, coming from a respected clan leader at that.
Sometimes, the start of the rebellion felt impossibly long ago.
"I can't get her face out of my mind," I admitted, voice low. "After she saw what she'd done."
Like any Chimer worth the name, I'd learned a decent amount of illusion magic as I grew up. For our lifestyle, the spell school was invaluable. Muffle and Chameleon spells could help you sneak up on even the most alert prey, Calm keep your guar from stampeding, Fear drive predators away. And if all else failed, there was always Command, to dominate the creature's mind entirely. Versatile and powerful, I wasn't sure if I'd have survived my trial of adulthood without it – I'd stumbled across a full nix-hound pack on my third day, and it was only by turning one of them against the rest that I'd managed to buy time to escape.
Yesterday was the first time I'd ever used it on a person.
Tactically, the spell had been brilliant. Stripped of her free will, the archer had slain three of her own allies before they even realised what was happening, including one of the dreaded berserkers who I'd worried would cut a swathe through our lightly-armoured forces. And after the spell had worn off, she hadn't returned to her cool sniping. No, she'd thrown her bow aside, drawn her belt-knife and charged straight at me. Unarmoured, with no proper weapon, it had been little more than suicide – one of the Dagoth had gutted her before she'd even come near me. But judging by the look in her eyes, that had been the idea.
After, gathering bodies for the pyre, I saw the berserker she'd slain up close. Even for Nords, the resemblance had been uncanny, his face a younger version of hers. Mother and son, they must have been.
Beside me, Voryn made an aborted motion as though he was going to pat me on the back but then thought better of it.
"War is not a kind place, Nerevar."
"Trust me, I know that by now." It came out more snappishly than I'd meant, but really. Did Voryn think this was somehow news to me? "But there's killing an enemy quickly and there's... that."
The sheer depth of despair in those eyes. As though she'd watched her world go up in flames before her, and I'd forced her to throw the torch.
"I'm not sure it will do us any good to win if we turn into monsters along the way." The words escaped me in barely more than a whisper.
Voryn heaved a sigh.
"Come. Sit."
"I thought it wasn't safe to be outside camp?" I couldn't resist the retort even as I settled on the boulder he'd indicated.
"Safer than letting you go back with these ideas in your head." Voryn sat himself on a neighbouring rock, managing to make the movement look as stately and elegant as if he were taking his place in the chieftain's yurt for Boethiah's feasting day. I had to suppress a pang of jealousy – I still spent most ceremonies half-expecting the Wise Woman to come drag me out by the ear, yelling at me for stealing the chieftain's clothes.
"Have I ever told you why Dagoth joined the rebellion?"
I tilted my head quizzically at the change of topic, but went with it. "No, you haven't."
"We winter in the Ayvith plains. It's a good place for it – rich grazing, plenty of wild guar, caves to shelter from the cold. We have been coming and going since the days of Veloth."
This, I suspected, would be the location of the Dagoth ancestral tombs as well. Voryn was apparently still leery of telling me so directly even after being allied for over a year, but I could hear the truth in the silences between his words. Indoril had a similar heartland in the Deshaan.
"About ten years ago, the Nords built a village in their heart." His mouth twisted. "A farming village."
"Ah," I breathed.
Nordic villages had been the bane of more than one Chimer tribe. Sometimes, they simply drove us away by force. Others, they claimed to want coexistence... a lie laughably transparent as their very presence brought destruction. They chopped down forests to make their strange wooden buildings, tore up vital grazing area to plant their crops. On the few fields they left, they would bring out the strange animals they called cows or goats. The furred beasts were not well-adapted to Morrowind, often fell prey to nix-hound packs or were starved out by guar. As a result, the Nords usually culled most native animals in an area when they began to build... with devastating consequences to the tribes that relied on them.
"We discovered this when we returned, late in the year. Our herds had been struck by sickness in the summer, and we had been relying on the rich life of our winter grounds to feed us and strengthen them. Imagine our surprise when we saw what they had become."
I winced. I could imagine the scene all too well.
"I have four younger brothers, and was forced to watch them grow thinner every day. When Vemyn grew too weak to leave the camp, I prayed to Mephala for guidance. The next day, I packed away my pride – something I am sure you realise was not easy for me – and went to the Nords to beg. They shut their door in my face." Voryn's smile was a vicious thing. "So the day after, I returned... but this time I took my best hunters, bearing torches. We feasted on cows that night, and clan Dagoth was declared outlaw."
I liked to think Voryn a friend, but first and foremost he was an ally. Diplomacy wasn't my strong point, but I was fairly sure a story like that should be met with something appropriately solemn and weighty – perhaps the offering of my own. Therefore, I was horrified when the words that escaped me were, "How do those taste, anyway? I've never had the chance to try."
Luckily, Voryn didn't take offense. Or at least that was my conclusion when he threw back his head and laughed.
"How about this? I shall let you form your own opinion. Once everything is over, we shall feast together in Blacklight with all our allies."
I let myself imagine it. Myself, Sotha Sil and Alandro Sul, Voryn and his brothers, Dumac and Kagrenac, the Redoran and the Erabenimsun, future allies yet to come – all sitting triumphant in the Nordic capital, our voices raised together in victory as a cow roasted on a spit.
"I'd like that."
I was brought out of my fantasies by Voryn dropping a hand onto my shoulder. He gave it a squeeze I almost wanted to call paternal.
"You see, Nerevar," his voice was very quiet, "they are the ones I fight for. I fight for Vemyn, Odras, Uthol and Endus, who the Nords would have starve. I fight for my clan and my people. For them, I will let myself become a monster. And for them, I will return to myself when all is said and done."
Instead of answering, I stared wordlessly into the distance. The sun was rising now, a strip of molten gold peering above the eastern horizon and bringing Azura's holy hour to an end. I imagined I could feel her eye wandering from us as her power waned, leaving me naked and bereft.
Voryn was completely right, of course. We were at such a disadvantage in this fight, and the consequences for us would be terrible if we lost. We couldn't allow ourselves the luxury of squeamishness.
And yet...
The Nord archer's face floated across my vision.
All the same, I didn't think I'd use that spell again.
I eyed the rooftop entrance cautiously.
In truth, it was probably overcautiously. From everything I'd seen, the shop was empty – Nalcarya having closed up earlier and left for her home – and although this district was theoretically patrolled by guards, in practice the rampaging mob must have left its mark, seeing as they were huddled together near the entrance to Tyravel manor. There was nothing to stop me from leaving my position in the shadows, taking out my lockpicks and letting myself in. It was the sort of task I'd have given a new footpad back in Windhelm to break them in, which was probably why Habasi had passed it on to me.
"Habasi likes diamonds so very much, but she owns none. It is a sad thing, very sad. Nalcarya the alchemist, now, she owns many diamonds, many she does not care for properly. Is the world not an unfair place? A true friend, Habasi thinks, would remedy such an injustice."
I really didn't want to do this. I'd stayed away from my old ways since my first day on the island, and – much though I hated to admit it – it had done me good. My criminal career had taken root in pure necessity at first, when in Markarth I realised that the options were steal or starve. It had born fruit beyond anything I'd imagined eventually, but by that time I was far enough in that other choices had seemed impossibly distant. Besides, Ingerte had thrived on the whole thing, Charon had also been content enough, and so for my friends I told myself this was what I wanted. The Mages' Guild had opened my eyes to just how much of that had been a lie, and now I didn't want to return.
I also didn't want to return to crime for a practical reason: I was still sadly lacking in backup, which did not mesh well with my fatal flaw of recklessness. Given that, it was best to refrain from activities that could land me back in prison if I wan't sufficiently careful.
And I wasn't even at the top of my game. I'd planned to wait in the guild until dusk, but too many nights spent on the floor of the Vivec guild made themselves known and I dozed off despite myself. Masalinie woke me just before she went home, a worried crease between her eyebrows as she told me I'd been muttering in another language. It was good to know my Dunmeris had advanced to the point where it followed me into my dreams, but it apparently hadn't done the quality of my sleep any good. I felt if anything more exhausted than before I fell asleep, and Ingerte's face kept flickering before my eyes... sometimes. Other times, she shifted to an older Nord woman with a dreadfully blank gaze, one I'd have sworn I'd never seen before except that for some reason part of me quailed at the sight of her. My dreams must really have been quite something – not that I could say for sure, since I still couldn't remember them. All in all, though, I was exhausted and distracted. In Windhelm, I'd have called the burglary off and waited for the next night.
Sadly, although these were all very compelling points, arguments I thought could be advanced in any debate without shame, they were nonetheless outweighed by one simple fact: Habasi had asked me to do it. Unfortunately, it looked as though the only thing worse than being one of Habasi's 'friends' would be not being one of them, and as such I no longer had any choice in the matter.
I sighed, silently cursed overly curious guildmasters who couldn't keep their noses in their own business, and crept forward.
At first, things went as smoothly as hoped. Nalcarya had made the mistake of having a Sacculo lock in her rooftop door, proving she had more money than sense. True, the brothers talked a good game – good enough they'd exported their wares all over Tamriel, for very high prices – and yes, their locks could stump thieves not familiar with them, but once you learned the trick they all gave way easily enough. Inside, the shop was indeed empty, and although the lock on the upstairs safe wasn't a Sacculo... that would have been an improvement.
"Really," I muttered to myself as the tumblers fell into position, "this is just pathetic. I should write Nalcarya an anonymous note, get her to improve her locks, actually make this a halfway meaningful test-"
"I entirely agree," said a voice from the doorway.
I stopped.
Looked upwards.
"Akatosh," I told the wooden ceiling, "I'm aware you're very attached to the linearity of time, but would you consider making an exception just once? Because today has frankly been unfair, and I think I deserve a second attempt."
Having successfully unburdened myself of my divinity-related complaints, I turned around to see who had managed to sneak up on me.
The light was low enough that I could only just about make out the woman was Dunmer. More important was the cowl she'd tugged around her head, which in combination with the dark leathers she wore and the soft mottled grey-blue cloak told a very clear story. This was no guard – I was looking at a fellow professional.
"Very nice technique on the lock," she said approvingly, confirming my deduction. "Couldn't have done it better myself. But you could really look behind you a bit more often."
"Trust me, I realise that now."
What was the likelihood that an independent would be trying for Nalcarya's lockbox at the exact same time that I was sent on my mission? Slim to none. No, the more I thought about this unexpected appearance of a competitor, the more I was led to one inescapable conclusion.
"Is this Habasi's idea of a joke?"
"If so, I'm not laughing." The woman's voice was crisp. "I know inductions are what they are, but if she's going to play games with people I'll make my own way. I hate not being given full information."
A brief pang of jealousy surged through me. I wished I had the option of walking away. "I take it you're here after a diamond too?"
"Exactly." The woman stretched out a hand. "Dralsi, late of the Imperial City guild. I arrived on the island last week."
It said something about what said island had done to me that my immediate reaction was confusion and mild indignation at the lack of a surname. An instant later, when the rest of my mind caught up with events, I scolded myself for being the worst sort of hypocrite.
"Adryn," I responded and shook her hand.
The next moment, two things occurred. First, the woman's eyebrows went up almost to her hairline. Second, I remembered why exactly I shouldn't be introducing myself to anyone with Guild ties.
"If you are who I think you are," she said after a moment, "I don't think I'd be using my real name in your shoes."
"Any moment now, Akatosh."
The woman stepped back, her eyes raking over my form. I crossed my arms defensively. Something about that critical gaze left me feeling naked.
Finally, she nodded to herself as though I'd confirmed a suspicion of hers. "Well, it's not like I want to do his Imperial Majesty up there in Riften any favours. Are there two diamonds in that safe, kid?"
I bristled at the appellation, but given the circumstances I didn't think I'd have much luck protesting. Instead, I glanced into the safe.
My fingers twitched. There were indeed two diamonds, in fact there was a rainbow in gemstones spilled inside. That wasn't what drew my attention, though. What drew my attention was the small collection of bottles on the shelf above.
Frost, fire and void salts. Daedra skin. Ground pearl. Some ice wraith teeth stacked neatly beside a bottle of glow dust – she must have had both imported. A small vial of... was that actually vampire dust?
I very firmly reminded myself that I was happy in my new, non-criminal life and only here under duress.
"Kid?"
"Here you go," I said, and tossed one of the diamonds in Dralsi's direction. She snagged it out of the air even as I tucked the second one into my boot.
"Let's go get these to Habasi. I'd like to have some words with her."
Ranis Athrys raised an eyebrow when she saw me standing in front of her office the next morning. "Well! You are punctual. And here I thought you'd go laze about at the Eight Plates with the rest of the crowd and no one would see you until mid-morning."
"Somehow, I'm not really hungry," I told her, trying very hard to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "Besides, I wanted to ask you something."
Outside the gloom of Nalcarya's shop, with her cowl pushed back, Dralsi had proven to have black hair braided back from a strikingly attractive face. More importantly, said face bore the agelessness of a mer in her prime – she could have been thirty or two hundred, must in any case be quite a bit older than me. This turned getting her to stop calling me 'kid' into an uphill battle, one which had not led to victory so far although I was also not ready to admit defeat.
The confidence of age also showed in that she had been as good as her word and berated Habasi for the set-up, something I doubted I'd have dared (at least not using that vocabulary) even if there weren't the issue of the blackmail.
Habasi had apologised profusely, blaming the whole thing on a slip of the mind. Dralsi made extremely, unmistakeably clear she did not find this explanation convincing. I silently agreed, but didn't think her tirade had had much effect. Oh, Habasi had promised not to do it again, but her eyes hadn't moved from the diamonds the whole time. I had misliked the avaricious gleam in them. I had especially misliked the fact that it stayed when her eyes shifted to land on me.
It is so nice to be friends, Habasi thinks, friends who do favours for one another. And of course Habasi would never let anyone harm such a good friend of hers. A friend who would gladly help Habasi if she is ever in need again, no?
Those words had echoed in my head when I tried to catch a few hours of sleep in the Balmora dorms, stolen my appetite this morning.
"Ask me something, Apprentice?" Ranis was saying now, eyes narrowed.
I fought down a swell of affection for the guild mistress. It was amazing how comforting overt dislike could be after dealing with Habasi.
"I've spoken to Only-He-Stands-Here and he's assured me he won't be offering unsanctioned training anymore." That you can hear about. "I was wondering if, given that, you had anything for me to do outside Balmora? Outside town entirely would be good, in fact. Several-day trek into the pathless wilderness, that sort of thing."
Oh, I knew Habasi wouldn't forget about me just because I vanished for a week or so. But I could pretend.
"Well. Now that you mention it..."
Notes:
Hey, you didn't think the Thieves' Guild is *blind*, right? Adryn hasn't exactly made herself inconspicuous! It was only a matter of time. :D
Regular readers should be used to it by now, but unfortunately the next chapter will be delayed. /o\ It's really not coming together well and my head is completely in non-Morrowind fandom spaces anyway. Frankly, I'm hoping that going off and writing Star Wars and Silmarillion and whatever for a while will help me clear my head, attack the beast from a new angle and get me past the block. Sorry! Be happy I at least managed to leave you on something that's... er... less of a cliffhanger than it could be!
EDITED TO ADD (omg how did I forget about this): As a super special treat - someone drew me fanart and it is the best ever! Including here with permission for everyone to admire, Jamie and Adryn by Frogick:
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Seriously, I have not stopped squeeing over this since I got this!
Chapter 25: Chapter Twenty-Three
Notes:
Important: This chapter deals with somewhat heavier material than typical for this fic, specifically pertaining to sex and consent. I don't think it rises to the point of needing a Rape/Non-Con warning, but I've added more detailed warnings to the end notes for anyone who needs to protect themselves.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When Almalexia returned she was no longer naked, a sleeping robe wrapped around her body. The candlelight still showed two spots of colour high on her cheeks, but her lips were thin, her face blank.
"Right. Tell me. Who is it?"
"Who is what?" I responded, wary, from where I sat up in our bed. I misliked the look on Almalexia's face. Something about that frozen expression reminded me of a trap-spider, ready to leap the instant something touched its web.
"Is it Sotha Sil? Vivec? Alandro Sul?" She hurled the names of some of my dearest friends as if they were javelins. "Please don't say Dumac. Necessity makes me willing to contemplate another man in our bed, but I draw the line at Dwemer."
It took a few moments for me to understand what she was implying. "Wait, you think I want to- Vivec's barely more than a child!"
Almalexia snorted. "Forty years old, and with a new lover every week. Some child." I was saved from having to work out a response to that when she continued. "But all right. Not Vivec, then. Sotha Sil? If you want men in that way, he's a fine specimen of one."
There was an admiring tone to those words. I was fairly sure I should be having some reaction to that, but in all honesty it was buried beneath all my other problems with what she was saying.
"Almalexia, I don't- don't want men in that way."
"That's a surprise." My wife's voice was as cold as Sheogorad waters. "Because it's very clear you don't want me."
I let myself fall on my side, drew my arm up so it covered my eyes.
Five years ago, I remembered, my upcoming wedding had been the talk of Resdayn. So many congratulations, so many toasts... so many teasing remarks, as well. I still remembered Dumac's, half my assistants have already laid bets on how long it will take her to kill you. His, of course, had been tame. Others were delivered with a wink and a nudge, the ribald implications clear to all.
Azura must be smiling on you, that the Erabenimsun's daughter looks like that . It's good that you argue – fire outside the bed means fire in it as well. Who wants to bet on how long it'll take until we see them again after the wedding? I say a week, ha ha.
And I'd laughed along and not thought much of any of it. True, I'd never before done any of the things they were alluding to – had never wanted to – but that wasn't important. I was a man in my prime marrying a young, beautiful woman. I wasn't Mephala-touched, wanting to lie with men. I'd never once doubted that when we came together on the wedding night, the desire would rise within me.
Until it hadn't.
"Is it me, then?" Almalexia continued, merciless. "If it is not simply that I am not male, is it specifically my body that disgusts you?"
"I'm not disgusted-" The retort was weak. Worse, despite wishing otherwise with every fiber of my being, it was a lie.
Almalexia knew it too. She didn't dignify it with any response other than a contemptuous snort.
"When you close your eyes," she went on, "do you imagine another woman in my place?"
No. I imagine a stone in mine.
A stone which had watched ages come and go, unchanged and uncaring. A stone to which the doings of us fleeting beings of flesh were of no import. Which would not be disgusted, not want to recoil, not so much as notice when it-
When someone-
-I couldn't possibly tell Almalexia that. The shame of this deficiency, this flaw I had spent five years failing to hammer out, was hard enough to admit to myself. I couldn't even imagine how I could put it into words that would do anything other than fan the flames of my wife's anger.
Anger she had a perfect right to.
"Almalexia," I said, voice wretched, "I'm sorry." How many times had I apologised for this by now? It must be beyond counting. "I'll try harder-"
Judging by the hiss she let out, this wasn't the right thing to say.
"Maybe, just maybe, I don't want a lover who has to try not to flinch when I touch him." I jerked back as her hand trailed over my chest. Was the demonstration really necessary? "Who has to try not to look as though he is being tortured when touching me in return. Maybe I want a lover who actually desires me without needing to try, Nerevar. Can you be that man?"
I didn't bother responding. We both knew the answer to that question.
The silence stretched out between us like a chasm. It was only broken by Almalexia's breaths, shallow and quick, as though we were in combat.
"Right," she finally said. "Right. This is what we're going to do." She straightened as she spoke, straight-backed with burning eyes, queenly in her rumpled nightclothes. In my opinion, Almalexia had always made for a more likely leader than me. "I will not have you in my bed until you can convince me that you want to be there. But you are still my husband, and I do not share. If I hear of you taking any other lovers, man or woman, I will be very displeased." She sucked in air, nostrils flaring. "Myself, however. I do not see why I should be doomed to lonely nights because my husband is failing in his duties. I reserve the right to discreetly take lovers who will treat me well."
A roaring filled my ears. It felt as though the world had shrunk until it consisted of Almalexia alone.
"All right," I heard myself say. "If that's what you think is best."
So focused on her, I saw immediately when Almalexia's face began to crumple. Realised – too late, always too late – that she hadn't, truly, wanted me to acquiesce. This had been her last gamble, hoping to finally rouse my lust through jealousy if nothing else. And now it had failed.
I could see tears start to gather in those dark-gold eyes. "Almalexia-"
I didn't know what I was going to say, but it didn't matter. Almalexia dashed the tears away with an angry swipe, her mouth twisting.
"Fine," she snarled, and was gone.
I fell back to lie on the bed as I listened to her footsteps recede. Despite myself, I could feel my mind drifting back to the first time I'd ever met Almalexia. Spear upraised, red hair escaping in wisps from under her helm, mouth open in a battle-cry as she directed her tribe to fall into our besiegers' backs – Sul had joked after that given the context I'd have found Namira lovely, but I'd thought her the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Beautiful like a stooping hawk, or a poisonous flower, or Red Mountain in the light of dawn – wild, untamed, and dangerous. Beauty to be admired from afar, not...
I still didn't understand why touching had to come into it at all.
Now I lay alone in a bed made for two, the empty half growing steadily colder. And cold it would remain. After five years enduring me struggle and fail to hold up my side of our marriage, Almalexia had finally given up.
As I could feel my own tears build, I tried so very hard to convince myself the emotion welling up with them wasn't relief.
"Are we-"
"So help me, if the next words out of your mouth are 'there yet', I will not be responsible for my actions."
The Daedra poorly disguised as a pilgrim glared at me. "I've told you, I must be at Ghostgate within the next day!"
I wanted to grind my teeth so much, but refrained. If I gave in, I doubted I'd have any teeth left by the time we reached Ghostgate.
"Well, that sounds like quite the problem you have there." I did my best to keep my voice level. Screaming at the woman, although also tempting, was beneath me. "Dare I suggest that if it was truly so important, you should have hired an actual scout instead of accosting random strangers?"
The fiend who had come from Oblivion solely to drive innocent alchemists to despair looked thoughtful. For a brief, shining moment, I thought maybe that this time my words had had an impact. Then the scowl returned. "I have had enough of your dawdling!"
In one ear and out the other. "Seriously, what do I have to do to send you back to Coldharbour where you clearly belong..."
"What did you just say?"
Another point in favour of the already rock-solid Daedra theory: my voice had been barely more than a murmur, but she'd clearly heard me anyway. Inhuman hearing, it must be.
I didn't dignify Miss Probably-Secretly-A-Dremora with a response, instead making my way forward in the ash. Although part of me wanted to see what she'd do once her two-day deadline passed, ultimately sanity prevailed: the sooner we got to Ghostgate, the sooner she'd be some place well away from me.
...and the sooner I'd be able to figure out how to get back to civilization. In retrospect, I hadn't quite thought plan "hide from Habasi in the wilderness" through.
It had started off fairly well. Ranis had asked me to speak to one guild member delinquent on their guild dues and talk a mage who'd recently left the Telvanni into joining the guild. They both lived in the same region, something where I hadn't been sure whether it was lucky or unlucky. On the one hand, the fact that they were effectively neighbours meant I could visit both mer in a single trip. On the other hand, neighbours had the unpleasant tendency to talk. Complaints about the outrageously high membership dues probably weren't the best advertisement, and being right next door to an independent might make someone already annoyed with the guild wonder if they, too, might not do better unaffiliated. Add that to the fact that the places they both lived were old Velothi buildings in the ash-ridden, cliff racer-infested Molag Amur wilderness north of Lake Nabia, and I'd almost been tempted to try to back out somehow.
But there had been Ranis Athrys, and there had also been Habasi, and so I'd set out on the road to Lake Amaya with a pack full of potions and not a single word of protest.
Miraculously, I'd managed to find Sulipund and Punabi all right – the fact that I asked the Fighter's Guild scout guarding Masalinie for directions had probably helped, as well as the way I took to travelling with a cautious eye towards the sky. Even more miraculously, I'd succeeded in both my tasks. Apparently I still had a ways to go to properly understand the research mage mindset, because from all appearances the neighbours did not, in fact, talk.
Serjo Ex-Telvanni's initial annoyance at my intrusion had turned into growing interest as I explained the guild setup. Although his clarifying questions had left me rather disturbed (really, in how many different ways did he want me to explain that assassination was not an accepted method of advancement?) he'd seemed happy enough with my answers and said he'd look in on the guild the next time he was in Balmora. I figured that should be good enough for Ranis.
The dues dodger had been a harder sell, but here my past experience came into play. Quite a few members of the Windhelm guild had had a tendency to... forget... to pay their fence fees (I don't really know what else we were expecting, Charon had said drily) and all three of us had learned to deal with the problem.
In this case, I'd quickly worked out that my victim was all bark: oh, he'd blustered and threatened, but he had no intention of actually attacking a fellow guild member. In addition, the lock on his front door could really be considered more along the lines of an open invitation. This meant that there was nothing to stop me from explaining to him, at length, the ethical problems inherent in taking advantage of guild resources and training but then refusing to pay your share once you were successful. In order to make sure the man gave me his full attention, I'd picked my times wisely: just as he was entering the most delicate phase of his experiment... right when he needed to take the soup off the fire... in the middle of the night.
"Fine! Take the money! I'll even give you an extra fifty drakes if you promise never to come here again!"
I was sure I had no idea why he might feel that way.
All in all, I'd had a spring in my step as I left Punabi with the missing guild dues stowed safely beside my purse. I still was, to put it mildly, not keen on this new life as Ranis' dogsbody, but I had to admit it was a nice feeling to finally finish a task like this without... complications. Maybe it would make Ranis thaw a little towards me. With luck, enough that she'd listen to me when I suggested alternate employment options. And who knew, maybe Habasi would be occupied with other things by the time I got back? All in all, I thought, things were looking up.
This of course had been when the cliff-racer swarm attacked.
Which I might have been able to weather better if not for the berserk kagouti.
Or the Daedric ruin.
Or the tomb decidedly not occupied by my ancestors.
Or-
By the time I stumbled across the Imperial woman looking rather lost in the middle of the foyada, I was so happy to see a friendly face that I agreed to help her find her way to Ghostgate before my sense of caution could catch up. Alas, it turned out that my definition of "friendly face" had been a little too generous... that of "woman" as well, for that matter... but at that point it was too late.
"How much farther?" the fiend barked from behind.
"If you met with a mysterious accident out here, no judge could fault me," I muttered.
Not that I'd do something like that to someone whose only crime was being supernaturally obnoxious. Even if I was starting to grow nostalgic for that cliff racer swarm.
"I must reach Ghostgate within-"
All right, that was it.
I whirled around. "Would you just shut up already? You've been doing nothing but complain all day, and I'm sick of it! It's not like you're making the distance shrink any by whining about it!" My shout echoed off the walls of the foyada.
The woman-shaped being stared at me. For a long moment, I thought this offense would be enough for her to drop her unconvincing Imperial disguise. In the end, though, all she did was sniff.
"Well, I never."
For a moment, I just stood there frozen, my breath coming in pants. I'd been braced for resistance, more abuse, reactions all the way up to and including her turning into a dremora and moving forward to slaughter me. Having her simply fold like that left me off balance.
"Right," I said, then again, "right. Let's keep going, shall we?"
And so we continued on our way in silence. I'd have felt happier about it if not for the guilt now squirming in my stomach.
It wasn't like me to lose my temper like that. Oh, I'd been provoked, but all the same – I liked to think I was capable of voicing my displeasure in reasonable ways. Sarcasm. Witty comments. Cutting asides. Just shouting someone into submission was the last resort of those incapable of such tools, and should therefore be beneath me. Having done it now left me feeling oddly like a bully, which was quite something since I was fairly certain the only person being bullied in this situation was me.
The whole thing could probably be blamed on the fact that I'd once again woken badly out of sorts. I'd had the sneaking suspicion the pilgrim had tried to go through my belongings during the night. Oh, everything had still been where I'd left it, but it was the only explanation I could think of for how oddly, for lack of a better word, violated I'd felt on waking this morning. Clearly, while I was sleeping someone must have ruthlessly invaded my precious personal space, and there was only one contender around. I'd been left snappish, snarling, and generally an inch away from running away to High Hrothgar to become a Greybeard so I'd never have to speak to people again. The badly disguised Daedra's serious attempt at being the most annoying person in the universe certainly hadn't helped, but in the mood I'd woken up I might even have blown up at Ajira.
Damn it all, did I actually owe the fiend an apology? Every fiber of my body rebelled at the very idea.
Weren't there some rules about not showing weakness to Daedra, anyway?
It was with some amount of relief that when I next paused to consult my map, I realised we were actually nearing Ghostgate by now. Actually bringing her to her destination in the stated time limit would, I figured, serve as apology enough without me actually having to utter the terrifying words I'm sorry. It was nice to be able to arrange things to everyone's benefit like that.
Never to mention that the end of the fiend's complaining appeared to have left a vacuum that nature hastened to fill – in this case, via my legs. I did have full sympathy for them in that they had, in fact, been overworked to the point of abuse over the last few days. However, just as I'd told the pilgrim before, there was nothing to be done about it so there was really no point in moaning. Alas, judging by the sensations coming from my lower half my legs did not agree with this assessment. I'd have tried to bribe them into keeping their dissatisfaction to themselves through a longer break, but that would have set my Daedric companion off again. Really, Ghostgate couldn't come soon enough.
We should be able to see it over this next rise, if I was reading the height-lines correctly. I ignored my legs' protests and hastened my steps-
Stopped.
I'd noticed the strange double lines on my map before. Encircling the center of the island entirely, the symbol didn't appear anywhere else. Some form of road, I'd thought, but then again Ghostgate was the only settlement that lay on it.
I certainly hadn't imagined the sight that greeted me now.
Ahead of us was a wall of glowing, ever-shifting blue-white broken every hundred or so feet by stone pillars. The whole thing rose dozens of feet into the air – high enough I couldn't even make out the landscape behind it – and continued off to either side as far as I could see.
Did it actually go the entire way around Red Mountain? That was absolutely monumental-
To my side, I noted that my unwelcome companion was not looking fazed in any way, as though she saw giant glowing barrier-things hundreds of miles long every day. Well, perhaps she did – I certainly didn't have inside knowledge on the sort of architecture present in Oblivion. Still, it was enough to make my mouth snap shut and my legs start moving again. I refused to look like some- some easily impressed yokel in front of anyone, disguised Daedra or not.
Ahead, three buildings that reminded me very strongly of the ones in Vivec rose against the barrier. As we moved closer, I realised that although the domes to the left and right were built just in front of it, the tower in the middle actually extended into the glowing surface. An arched doorway leading to a heavy iron gate made me suspect I'd just found the only way through the thing.
Ghostgate.
And, of course, the Ghostfence. I'd heard the name before and wondered what it might be. Now able to compare my ideas to reality, I'd clearly been giving the native Dunmer too much credit for creativity as far as names were concerned – a fence made of ghosts had not in fact been my leading theory.
I couldn't help but notice that as we got closer to the barrier, a low resonating hum began to grow. The source must have been the Ghostfence – what else could it possibly be? – but you wouldn't know it from the feel; it felt directionless, as though it originated from my bones themselves. Accompanying it was the strangest sense of being watched.
Ghostfence. If I was any judge, I was looking at the greatest work of necromancy the world had ever seen – quite impressive for a land where the school was under the death penalty. More to the point, I had no idea how anyone in Ghostgate ever slept.
In addition to the large gate in the center of the tower, both domes had doors. I considered, then picked the left one because it was closer. At first, the false pilgrim followed me obediently, but when it became clear that I was not, in fact, heading for the passage through the Ghostfence she stopped.
"Where do you think you're going?"
I shot her a quelling look. "Ghostgate. As you requested."
Alas for me, she remained unquelled. "I must reach the Shrine of Pride by tomorrow-"
"Now hold on a moment here! You said Ghostgate. There was absolutely no mention of shrines whatsoever."
The Daedra glared. I glared back, all my earlier feelings of guilt buried under indignation. I hated people who tried to renege on the terms of a deal partway through. It was annoying. It was rude. It was unprofessional.
Judging by the way she wasn't backing down, my companion did not agree. "I would have thought it went without saying. What other reason would someone have to visit Ghostgate, after all?"
"I don't know, sightseeing?" Trying to understand the minds of Daedra could only lead to madness. I just barely had enough tact not to say that out loud. "I took you to the place which you asked, in actual words, to go to. If you wanted someone who could read your mind, you have the wrong mer. You also, incidentally, have the wrong mer if you wanted a guide to the Shrine of Pride, seeing as for that you need someone with an actual weapon and combat skills."
Ervesa had mentioned that the shrine was in the Red Mountain area inside the Ghostfence, and even if I hadn't already heard stories about the region, the mere fact that the inhabitants of the island had seen fit to seal it off with the Ghostfence in the first place was enough to give you pause. Suffice it to say that there was no way I was setting foot in there without backup.
The pilgrim's face twisted in rage. Was this the point where she would drop her unconvincing human disguise and go for my throat? It really said something about how much I'd suffered the past few days that I was almost looking forward to it.
"You-"
"She's right, you know," a voice interrupted us. "Seeing as we're not permitting any unaccompanied expeditions into the Red Mountain area right now."
I really needed to work on my situational awareness. True, the Daedra might have reached new pinnacles in the art of being incredibly obnoxious, but that was no excuse for completely missing the tower door opening, someone wandering out and leaning against the building listening to us argue. If he'd seen this, Charon would have disowned me.
The Dunmer in question was – I was pleased to note – currently occupied giving my companion a very unimpressed look. "Doing the Seven Graces, I take it? No one will authorize a trip today, but we do a check on the area every morning. Pilgrims are allowed to tag along, provided they behave." Apparently sensing danger brewing in my least favourite Daedra's expression, he added, "That's the only offer you're getting. Take it or walk back home, outlander."
The outlander in question hissed angrily (definitely not a human sort of noise – her disguise was so shoddy I was almost embarrassed for her), but miraculously subsided. None of the backtalk, arguing, or screeching I'd had to contend with was in evidence. In order not to get eaten alive by jealousy I quickly decided that clearly, the only reason she was giving way so easily now was that I'd managed to argue her into exhaustion over the course of the day.
"Can we stay the night, then?" I asked before this coveted but highly unusual and therefore not to be relied on period of silence from the Oblivion denizens among us could come to an end.
The man rolled his eyes as if the question was entirely ridiculous, which smarted. "No, we're planning to force you to sleep in the ash in front of the door. Of course you can stay the night! We're one of the main waystations for pilgrimages, and this is off-season in a bad year. You can probably each get a whole dorm to yourself."
I decided that if he could really make it so I didn't have to share with the Daedra again, I'd forgive him the condescension.
"Throw in food, and you have a deal," I told him.
My mood improved when I stepped through the doorway into Ghostgate and the sensation of being watched died down to the slightest prickle. It got another boost when I discovered that yes, I would be able to spend the night blessedly, gloriously free of the more annoying Oblivion denizens amongst us. At that point, even my guide's warning that I might find myself having strange dreams – we are very close to the spirits of the Ghostgate here, sometimes the ancestors bless us with their presence – was easy to wave away. (It wasn't as if I remembered my dreams at all, these days – I was probably due for an odd one or two.) No, by the time I was esconced in the common area of the Tower of Dusk, off my feet, halfway through a bowl of stewed bittergreen and ash yam, I felt almost friendly towards the world.
Not least because the Daedra had made herself scarce soon after we entered. Maybe she was trying to break into the Red Mountain region on her own. I didn't care. I luxuriated in not caring. As far as I was concerned, the Armigers had taken over responsibility for her when we'd passed the threshold, and never had I so enjoyed the feeling of a person being someone else's problem.
Not that I'd wish her on the Armigers. It turned out that Ghostgate was one of their main headquarters, and so I'd finally gotten to meet others from Ervesa's order. Apparently her attitude was, in fact, typical. Everyone had been welcoming, friendly even, and not a single person had called me outlander so far. Given how my experiences with native Morrowind Dunmer usually went, I spent a few moments wondering whether I was hallucinating.
Perhaps it was a matter of the universe balancing itself out. If you took the average of an Armiger and an Ordinator, you probably ended up with a perfectly normal Dunmer.
In any case, I wasn't complaining. After days spent with an escapee from Oblivion as my only company, I was starved for pleasant conversation with real, actual people. It definitely helped that some of them were willing to spend time listening to me relate the woes of this latest involuntary adventure, oohing and aahing and making sympathetic noises at all the right moments.
Given the situation, it was hard not to let one's guard down. At least, that was my defense for how I'd somehow allowed myself to be talked into accompanying the expedition to the shrine the next morning.
I'd had no intention of doing so when I'd entered Ghostgate. Spending time in the common area had not, initially changed this – quite the contrary. I still had no idea what was inside the Ghostfence, but my evidence for it being something I had no desire to ever meet had increased. On top of the rumours and the existence of the Ghostfence in the first place which had led me to the conclusion originally, I could now lay the following fact: Ghostgate was not just heavily manned but clearly saw active combat on a regular basis. Over there a woman was repairing dents in her chitin armour, over here a man had his arm in a sling, the jagged gashes on his neighbour's face couldn't be older than a week, and – oh yes – the bar included not just mazte and sujamma but enough quality healing potions to put a hospital to shame. Given that Ghostgate was, in fact, an outpost in the furthest depths of the Ashlands far away from civilization of any sort, one had to wonder who – or, to be more precise, what – they were fighting.
Those gashes looked a lot like claw marks.
No, I'd decided, none of that for me. I'd spend the night here, but when the expedition set out come morning I'd be heading the opposite way.
Except that this resolution didn't survive long after I mentioned it. I remembered, distantly, Ervesa explaining how skill with words was considered one of the cornerstones of her order. At the time, I'd been focused on the poetry part, but clearly I should have paid more attention to the persuasiveness aspect. Maybe if I had, I'd have been better prepared to resist. As it was, somewhere between the exhortations of how much effort the forces at Ghostgate expended to keep the path clear and the explanations of how crucial making one's obeisance at the Shrine of Pride was to understanding the protection of Almsivi my resistance melted away like snow in summer. The critical argument had been that the Shrine of Pride was part of the Pilgrimage of the Seven Graces – in other words, the pilgrimage I'd told Ervesa I'd complete.
Well, I thought as I gave way, at least-
"Ervesa will be so happy to hear it!" the Armiger I'd privately dubbed Tattoos exclaimed, in a strange unknowing echo of my thoughts.
Wait a moment.
I hadn't mentioned Ervesa, had I?
"Ervesa?" It was almost certainly too late to pretend ignorance, but I wanted to leave my options open here.
The geometric patterns on Tattoos' forehead shifted as her eyebrows went up. "You are Adryn, aren't you? Ervesa's Adryn? The description was pretty unmistakeable."
A cough was trapped in my throat. I let it out with force as I tried to figure out what part to object to first – the fact that Ervesa was talking about me, in enough detail that I could be identified from it, or the description of me as Ervesa's. I'd never heard a possessive in front of my name before and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
At Tattoos' side, her fellow Armiger Spikes (chosen over How On Nirn Does One Do That To Their Hair for the sake of brevity) nodded. "Girl new to the island who attracts more trouble than the next dozen combined, it all checks out." As I was opening my mouth in outrage, he added, "And there's the hair too. Don't see that shade of red often, especially not west of the Grazelands."
My mouth snapped shut. Ervesa's stories had gone to the level of physical description?
For some reason, I felt heat rise in my cheeks. Something in my stomach was fluttering strangely.
I wanted, I decided abruptly, for them to stop talking.
"I- yes, fine, you're right. I'm Ervesa's Adryn." The squirming sensation grew stronger at the sound of those words coming out my mouth. "Is she around, by the way? I remember her mentioning she'd be staying at Ghostgate for a while the last time I saw her."
"She is. She was on patrol this afternoon, should be back soon." Tattoos sighed. "It's a real shame. Normally, she'd spend all her wandering-years away from our strongholds – it's the whole point, learning to act independently – but we're stretched so thin at Ghostgate by now we've had to call even the juniors in to do rotations." The lines on her forehead shifted again, this time into a scowl. "Imagine how different things might be if, with all their military, the Imperials actually bothered to help. Instead of, you know, panicking and sealing off the whole damn island."
The scowl deepened, Tattoos' hand tightening on her mug of mazte. Very cautiously, I drew away. She'd emptied several as the afternoon wore into evening, and although the Dunmer could clearly hold her alcohol I'd noticed her loosening up. It hadn't been an issue so far, not with her in a good mood... but now said mood was turning, and that wasn't a good combination with lowered inhibitions.
I was just wondering whether it was time to make myself scarce when Spikes shoved at Tattoos' shoulder with a laugh. "What are you even saying, Drelyne? If the Legion turned up at Ghostgate saying they wanted to bunk down with us, you'd be the first to start the mutiny!"
Tattoos' forehead smoothed. "I... can't actually argue with that."
"It's for the best, I tell you. And Ervesa being around is lucky for Adryn here, too." Spike grinned at me. "Luckier there's hardly any other pilgrims staying, so we got you a room all to yourself. Not that Drelyne here wouldn't clear out if Ervesa asked, but it's nicer this way, isn't it?"
Being who I was, it took me a second to understand the implication. I wasn't sure if I would have, if Spikes hadn't winked at me.
My cheeks began to blaze, and this time I definitely knew why.
"'Wait, that's not what we're-"
"Oh, there's no need to be shy about it," Tattoos interrupted. "I know other places might make it out to be shameful, but it's the most natural thing in the world. You can be open about it here." Her tone was almost motherly, which – given the topic of conversation – was just too wrong for words.
"No, there's- there's definitely been a misunderstanding here!" My voice was getting desperate.
"Really?" That degree of skepticism was downright uncalled for. The hint of a smug smile I saw tugging at Spikes' lips doubly so. "That's not how your girlfriend's been telling it."
Everything stopped.
"What?"
Distantly, I noted that my voice appeared to have grown several octaves. Well, now I knew what to do if I ever needed to shatter glass – simply have someone claim...
It couldn't be true. It just couldn't.
Spikes was still smiling. I'd never wanted to remove an expression from someone's face through the medium of excessive violence quite so much before. "Oh? If you think differently, why don't you tell her that?"
I looked up, and indeed – as if summoned by us talking about her, Ervesa was standing in the doorway. She must've only just got back, because her shirt was rumpled, her bangs plastered to her forehead with sweat, and she hadn't put her earrings back in yet. Her eyes were wide as they rested on me.
"Adryn! What are you doing here, I hadn't expected to see... you..."
Coming closer, she must have been able to better make out the expression on my face. At least, that was how I explained the way her voice trailed off and her smile sickened, shrank, and finally slid off her face entirely.
"Ervesa. What a... nice surprise. I think we need to talk."
It was only after I'd shut the door firmly behind us that I realised that immediately grabbing Ervesa in front of witnesses and dashing off to the room where I, and I alone, was staying tonight would not in any way serve to douse the rumours being spread about me. In fact, it qualified as pouring oil on the fire. I grit my teeth and decided to ignore that fact for now. From the sounds of it, I'd have a hard time dissuading anyone there right now, and it was really far more important to figure out what Ervesa thought she was playing at.
Speaking of.
"Care to explain?" My voice could have frozen an ice wraith solid.
Ervesa had dropped to sit on the edge of the narrow bed nearest the door, her shoulders slumped and face downturned. Now, she raised her head to look up at where I was standing, bearing an expression of such abject misery that I might have been tempted to take pity on her if I'd been just a little less angry.
"Look, I- I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd meet any of them, figured there'd be no harm in letting them think..."
"That we were sleeping together?" Under the anger, I realised, was a sense of growing betrayal. Ervesa was the one person I'd met who agreed with me on the worth, or rather lack thereof, of such activities. The one person standing at my shoulder even as the rest of the world told me there was something wrong with me. Having her take their side like this smarted. "Which you lied to them about?"
"I didn't lie! Just..." Ervesa squirmed. "Didn't correct their misconceptions."
Perhaps in some other situation, speaking about some other topic, that distinction would have mattered to me. Right now, it did nothing to calm the ball of snakes writhing in my stomach.
"Why?" The word burst out of me unbidden. I wanted to believe it sounded angry, demanding, but had a hard time denying that there was a definite plaintive edge to it.
Ervesa heaved a sigh, stirring the air in the small room. "All right. I'll explain, just... would you sit? This might take a while, and I'm going to get a crick in my neck if I have to keep staring up at you."
For a moment I considered insisting that no, I'd rather stand. My feet put paid to that plan, as they chose to remind me that I'd been walking all day, with far fewer breaks than I'd have liked, and although they were sure I had good reasons to want to be childishly contrary, they had nevertheless liked sitting in the common room and were highly displeased I'd cut that activity short. If I didn't get off them soon, they would absolutely make their displeasure my problem.
"Fine," I snapped and joined Ervesa on the edge of the bed. I pointedly chose to sit at the very corner, keeping as much distance between us as I could. Judging by her wince, the message was received. "I'm listening."
"The first Armigers were Vivec's companions in all things. They were at his side in battle, at the feast-hall, in dance and song... and, often, in bed."
Ervesa paused. When I glanced her way, she wasn't looking at me. Instead, her eyes were fixed on her hands, lying on her lap with her fingers laced together so tightly the knuckles were white.
"Captain Voruse said that Vivec has not taken an Armiger as a lover in many years. But... it happened so often, for so long, that it became part of what it means to be in our Order."
"What, sleeping with your god?" This was a side of living gods I'd frankly never considered before. And if I'd thought about it, I would've almost certainly assumed that anything claiming to be a superior being was smart enough to avoid all that nonsense.
Assumed wrongly, apparently.
All of a sudden, the Nine Divines seemed far more attractive than before.
Ervesa gave a helpless shrug. "More... general than that. Seduction, casual relationships – sex. It's as much part of being an Armiger as poetry and blades, they'll tell you."
Slowly, things were coming together. "But you didn't want it."
"Of course I didn't!" I flinched as Ervesa raised her voice. "I was never interested, never understood what the point was supposed to be. They said I'd change my mind as I got older, then told me I must be wrong about my feelings when I didn't. And when I started training as an Armiger – you know, they were so insistent I decided they must be right? That clearly I must want it, so deep down I'd never consciously realised. So the next time a fellow trainee propositioned me, I took him up on it."
I'd never seen Ervesa like this before. So small, hunched in on herself, head bowed, shoulders trembling. I was angry at her, I knew – angry for good reason, too – but right now the emotion seemed far away and hard to grasp. That story was too familiar, resonating all too well somewhere deep within me. Made me remember myself, years ago, deciding that if the rest of the world wasn't going to respect my stance on sex I'd return the favour.
Although I, unlike Ervesa, had never given in to the pressure.
(A gold-skinned woman clad in a plain white robe, mouth set, eyes blazing-
Hadn't I?)
"How was it?" I couldn't help asking, spurred by something sharper, more bitter than curiosity.
Ervesa raised her head to look at me. "Awful. Hated every moment of it. He was so insulted." Her eyes were wet, but a wry smile tugged at her lips all the same. Then it faded. "See, I tried it. Now you don't have to."
Don't make my mistakes, I heard.
("Maybe I don't want a lover who has to try not to flinch when I touch him-")
The strange feeling of violation I'd woken up with was back, stronger this time, leaving my skin crawling. I wrapped my arms tightly around my middle, as though if I just squeezed hard enough I could protect myself from-
From-
I didn't know. All I knew was that for all that I was feeling more sympathetic towards Ervesa than when I'd come in, it was good that we were sitting some distance apart. Because if anyone touched me right now, I'd try to claw their face off.
Ervesa didn't seem to notice. She still wasn't looking at me, her gaze fixed on the opposite wall. "After that, they decided I must only be interested in women. That's considered... acceptable, among the Armigers. They backed off for a while, said they wanted to give me time to come to terms with it. A 'difficult realisation', they called it."
Ervesa was fixed in my mind as always smiling, always ready with a joke and a laugh. I'd always known there was more to her than that, but I'd still never imagined she could sound this bitter.
"Recently it started to become clear that they thought I'd had enough time. So, when we met... when I told my comrades about this stubborn alchemist I kept rescuing from her own heroics," her lips pulled into a wry grin, "and they jumped to conclusions..."
"You let them."
"I let them," Ervesa repeated with an exhausted sigh. "It was just... too easy to go with it. I figured you'd never meet them, and that... since you weren't interested in anything like that either, it wasn't as if I'd be ruining your chances with anyone..." She bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it without asking you first."
No, she shouldn't have.
And even after her explanation... I understood, but at the same time I didn't understand.
"But why not stand up for yourself?" I asked her. "I mean, doing it like this – you'd have to pretend, and keep on pretending, and all the while they get to think they're right. Surely it'd be so much easier to just tell them they're being idiots about the whole thing?"
Ervesa laughed. For the first time since the conversation had started, she turned to look straight at me. "That's because you're a lot braver than I am."
"Come again?" There was no way I'd heard that correctly. "I have to point out that one of us in this room is a holy warrior who goes risking her life against dangerous beasts, mind-controlling statues and that sort of thing on a daily basis. And we both know which of us it is."
Ervesa waved this off. "That doesn't count, that's just- just duty. Just fighting. That's easy. It's a lot harder to stand up to people, especially people you respect. You're never afraid to say what you think, even if it means disagreeing with your friends, or people in authority. It's something I admire a lot about you." She was, as far as I could tell, being entirely sincere. I squirmed as I felt my cheeks heat up. "I've always struggled with it myself. I mean, how I joined the Temple alone..."
All right, on the one hand, we really needed to finish the conversation we were having. On the other, she could hardly dangle something like that in front of me and expect me not to react. It would be downright unnatural.
"Oh? How did you join the Temple?"
Judging by the way Ervesa seized on the change of subject, she did not agree with me that our discussion wasn't finished. Ah, well, I could let her have a bit of a break.
I very decidedly did not let myself think that I might need one too.
"I wanted to become an Armiger ever since I was very young. My parents... there was..." Ervesa's lips pressed together. "The details don't matter. What's important is that as a child, I had to use an Intervention Scroll which led to me ending up alone in Molag Mar for several weeks. The Armigers' main base was there, and they were very kind and helpful to a lost, frightened girl. They were the ones who contacted my aunts and grandmother, after -" Ervesa cut herself off. "Well. Let's just say I was very grateful, and he- they left a real impression."
Ervesa had left out enough that the whole thing was more hole than story, but I could piece together some of the gaps. Something terrible had happened to Ervesa's family when she was young, something that had ended in her escape to the nearest Temple – alone, the sole survivor of whatever disaster had struck. The Armigers – or perhaps one in particular? I hadn't missed the brief slip into singular – had rescued her, taken her in, been kind to her, soothed the traumatised child she would have been. All too easy, for hero worship to grow.
Not that I knew about that part from experience, or anything.
"That made you want to join the Armigers?" I prompted, pushing aside the memory of tall figures striding off into the distance.
Ervesa smiled, a soft, far-away expression. Whatever she was seeing, I didn't think it was in this room. "Exactly. I wanted to be strong, and brave, and able to help people the way h- they'd helped me. It was as though Almsivi themselves had come to show me what I was meant to do with my life. There was nothing anyone could do to move me... much to my grandmother's displeasure."
"Displeasure?" I repeated, wondering if I'd misunderstood. What I'd gathered of Morrowind culture so far was that Armigers were seen as heroes, that any family would be proud to have one in their ranks. What Ervesa was telling me now didn't match up... which was deeply worrying. It was one thing not to understand the local culture – it was another not to realise I didn't.
"Yes. My whole family was horrified, really, my grandmother was just the most vocal." Ervesa's smile twisted. "Hardly a surprise. Telvanni aren't exactly known for their devotion to the Temple."
I choked. I hadn't even been drinking anything, but when the surprise is great enough little things like that cease to matter; I choked on air.
"Adryn? Are you all right?"
I managed to get my coughing under control. "You. Telvanni? You-"
It wasn't enough for shock to sabotage my breathing, it seemed. No, it was greedy enough to move on to my capacity for language as well. At least, I found my mind utterly blank when I cast about for words that would express the many ways, shapes and forms in which Ervesa did not match what I'd learned about Telvanni. My vocabulary deserting me, I resorted to gesturing instead. Perhaps if I did it frantically enough, I'd manage to get the meaning across through sheer effort.
"I guess I don't exactly fit your mental image of one, do I?"
It appeared that frantic gesturing was, in fact, a viable means of communication in extreme situations. Maybe something about the air displacement? In any case, a fact worth noting for future use.
"This is actually something a lot of... people new to Morrowind, or who don't generally have to do with the Great Houses... get wrong about them," Ervesa explained. I could feel the word outlander lurking in those pauses. At least she was polite enough not to say it out loud. "There's the classic stereotype I know you've heard – Redoran warriors, Hlaalu merchants, Telvanni wizards. A lot of people don't realise it is a stereotype."
I frowned. Athyn Sarethi's face swam in front of me. "All the Redoran I've met so far seem to match it well enough."
"Oh, there's definitely truth to it. It describes the... ideal of the House, if you will. Especially at the higher ranks, there's going to be a lot of pressure to live up to it, and those who don't aren't likely to be successful within it. Try finding a Telvanni past Retainer who isn't a mage. But there's a lot more to a House than the leaders and nobles. Half the population of Ald'ruhn is Redoran – you really think they're all warriors?"
I had to admit that made sense. "So you're saying that the Great Houses are larger than most of us – newcomers, shall we say – think, and once you look past the leadership positions you'll find people who don't fit the classic mold." This shone a new light onto Athyn Sarethi's offer to join Redoran. "Like a Telvanni who joins the Buoyant Armigers."
"Exactly. But you're right that it's rare. Not all Telvanni are mages, but the Temple is unpopular in all the House. My family was appalled when I told them I wanted to join, after. I went to live with my aunt in Vivec but she wouldn't hear a word of it, kept trying to convince me otherwise..." Ervesa shrugged. "I hate arguing with people. Always have. It was easier to just keep quiet, let her think she'd won. I was going to tell her when I was accepted for Armiger training, but then the day came and..." She reached up to fiddle with one of her braids, eyes on the floor, cheeks darkening to purple. "I just. Left a note."
"A note." I repeated flatly.
"Yes." Ervesa squirmed. "I knew it was just going to end in a fight, that she wouldn't understand, that I wouldn't change my mind. I figured, why put the both of us through that?"
I'd always figured Ervesa for somewhat older than me, the extra few years speaking not so much through her appearance as through her confidence, her certainty in her actions. Now, for the first time, she seemed younger, like a child awaiting a scolding. It was disconcerting.
I didn't have much experience with family, to put it mildly. All the same, I was reasonably sure running away from home without even saying goodbye was not the typical way these things were done. Especially since from the sounds of it Ervesa hadn't been expecting her aunt to forcibly stop her, just-
"Just because you wanted to avoid an argument?" I asked, incredulous.
"...yes." For the first time in a while, Ervesa met my eyes. There was a wry twist to her mouth. "You don't have to tell me, I've heard it all before. But... that's why I say you're braver than me."
I opened my mouth. Closed it again.
I should – say something, in response to that. Something that would make Ervesa understand how ridiculous she was being, how you didn't need courage to argue with people, how she was only causing problems for herself-
When I searched for the words, though, all I found was a wave of exhaustion crashing over me.
"You know what," I told the wall, "I've had a very long day. Dealing with secret Daedra. Getting deafened by magical fences. Discovering long-running affairs I have apparently been participating in. I am officially declaring myself too tired for this conversation."
From the corner of my eye I spotted relief suffusing Ervesa's face, and- no, that wasn't how I'd meant it. I couldn't let her think I approved of her avoidance of uncomfortable conversations, definitely not to the point where I'd use the same strategies myself.
"Which isn't to say that you're getting out of it!" I hastened to add. "We're continuing it as soon as I'm rested. First thing in the morning."
"Of course, Adryn," Ervesa answered, tone sincere enough I squinted at her suspiciously. "I'll just let you rest for now, shall I?"
The question was obviously rhetorical, Ervesa already rising from the bed before she'd finished speaking. Still, there was a moment there. Seconds of silence in which Ervesa brushed herself off, tossed her braids over her shoulder, and walked to the door. The perfect opportunity, in other words, to say yes, but when you leave, tell your friends that we are not together. I insist.
Except that I didn't. I simply sat there, frozen, the words stuck in my throat, trapped behind my tongue as though my mouth was too small for them.
"I... I really am sorry," Ervesa whispered just before the door shut behind her.
With her gone, my paralysis lifted. I sucked in air, the sound loud in the empty room. It felt like the first full breath I'd taken in hours.
Which would definitely be a possible cause for why my head was spinning. A nice, neat explanation. Shame it wasn't actually why.
What had just happened?
Why hadn't I insisted Ervesa explain-
Ervesa.
The things I'd learned about her today, this strange fear of disagreeing with people, were difficult to reconcile with the girl I knew. The one who fearlessly strode into dangerous situations, had rescued me time and again, who cheated at cards and made jokes and had never called me outlander. Ervesa had been a mainstay of my life on Vvardenfell almost since my arrival, brave – definitely the braver of the two of us, no matter what she might say – and strong and funny and pretty-
My thoughts came to a screeching halt.
Pretty?
She was, of course, but that wasn't something I noticed, something I paid attention to-
Or perhaps the more accurate way to phrase that would be hadn't been.
"Oh no," I whispered aloud as, with dawning indignation, the realisation swept over me.
I had a crush on Ervesa.
For how long, I didn't know. The thing had snuck up on me. It had been clever that way, I grudgingly admitted. If it had chosen the straightforward route, if I'd found myself thinking oh, I think I like her after the time Ervesa rescued me from the kagouti, I would definitely have noticed such an embarrassing turn of thought and crushed the nascent feelings before they had a chance to grow. Instead, it had been stealthy, staying well in my subconscious until its ambush now, when it was too deeply rooted to excise.
"Oh no-"
But – how was this even possible?
I'd never had a crush before nor expected one. Crushes, I knew, came hand-in-hand with romance which came hand-in-hand with precisely the activity I was completely uninterested in, had in fact bonded with Ervesa (the irony!) over not being interested in. Unless-
A block of ice was forming in my stomach.
Unless Charon had been right?
When he'd suggested that my lack of interest was in fact a lack of interest pertaining to men, that I was repressing my true desire for women, I'd been furious. Insulted, at the way he claimed to know my own emotions better than I did. I'd refused to speak to him until he apologised, and the resentment hadn't dissipated for even longer. A fragment of it had remained, a tiny splinter of hurt coming from the fact that once upon a time, I'd told him about something important and he'd refused to believe me. I'd done my best not to show it, told myself over and over that he'd apologised, but it had clung to my heart until-
Until there was no Charon to be angry at anymore.
If it turned out he'd been right all along...
Very carefully, as though probing my body for serious injury after a bad fall, I forced myself to imagine it. Ervesa and me, naked, entwined, touching-
My stomach informed me that it had been happily occupied digesting the meal I'd eaten earlier, but if I insisted it could, of course, expel everything it currently contained with extreme prejudice.
Vindicated, I let the images go. No, Charon had been wrong. Man or woman, crush or no, I still wanted to keep those parts of my body firmly to myself.
Which, of course, raised the question – if not that, what, exactly, was it I did want from Ervesa?
Was it even accurate to say I had a crush? I liked Ervesa. I admired her, I wanted to impress her, I wanted to spend time with her. I also thought she was pretty, and that fact seemed more... obtrusive, more relevant, than my aesthetic judgements usually did. But I didn't want to do anything physical with her. Not sex, not kissing.
I might, I thought, be able to bring myself to hug her. Maybe. On an occasional basis. Or perhaps it would be better to leave it at holding hands?
No, the Adryn personal space bubble was very much intact.
Did I maybe just want to be her friend?
That didn't feel right either. The whole thing was too sudden, too intense, too different from how I felt for Ajira or Jamie. Those emotions felt like a natural outgrowth of our interactions, this felt more as though a part of my mind had been turned into a compass pointing at Ervesa without my knowledge or consent. And I'd certainly never looked at either of them thinking they were pretty.
But if it wasn't friendship, then I must want to-
Except I didn't want to-
A dull throb of pain at my temples cut me off. This headache wasn't like the ones I'd been struggling with of late. Instead, I decided, it was clearly self-defense. I was exhausted, reeling from one too many emotional conversations and realisations, and my mind was going in circles. What I'd told Ervesa earlier held true here as well – it would be far better to continue this in the morning.
Wait.
What I'd told Ervesa earlier...
Dagon's mercy. I'd promised to continue our conversation from earlier.
Which meant talking to Ervesa. About her letting everyone think we were lovers. With this realization swirling through my head.
Maybe the spirits of the Ghostfence would have mercy on me and kill me in my sleep.
Notes:
Warnings: Dubious consent leading to traumatic, unwanted sex. The sex is off-screen but the situation is discussed in fair detail. There's also some heavy invalidation of asexuality as a possible orientation, both internalised and otherwise. This mainly refers to the first scene of the chapter, which is a Nerevar flashback (spoilers: we get a peek into Nerevar and Almalexia's marriage, and it's not good) but there's a brief discussion of something similar in Ervesa and Adryn's conversation later in the chapter.
Chapter 26: Chapter Twenty-Four
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The urn was heavy in my arms, and big enough it was awkward to hold. I bit my lip and forced my arms to grip harder. It could be twice as heavy and twice as big, I told myself, and I still wouldn't drop it. I wouldn't let myself.
"All right there, Nerevar? I can carry her for you," Sul offered from beside me.
I shook my head firmly. In my opinion, my cousin was the bravest, cleverest, most wonderful person in the whole world, and normally I'd have done what he said without a second thought...
...but this wasn't normally.
"I'll do it. She'll be stronger then, right?" I asked the other person who'd accompanied me.
The Wise Woman nodded. "It will be good for your mother's spirit, if she is taken to her final resting place by her son. She will be faster to gather herself, faster to gain the strength she needs to pierce the veil. Perhaps by your children or grandchildren's day, she will be able to watch over them as a guardian."
"Right! It's better this way, see?" I tried to give Sul a smile, but my mouth wouldn't move right. I wasn't very good at smiling these days.
Sul didn't answer. His eyes were narrowed, squinting at me suspiciously, as though he knew what was going through my head. Maybe he did. Sul was too good at reading my mind. It wasn't fair.
A lot of things hadn't been fair recently.
Like the fact that everyone kept saying I wouldn't see my mother ever again. And- I wasn't a baby, I knew what dead meant, I knew she wasn't going to just walk back into the yurt one day, but-
But Mother was so strong, the strongest of our hunters, surely that had to mean she was strong as a spirit too? The Wise Woman said that she would be too weak to manifest as an ancestral guardian for years and years and years, but I couldn't believe it. Mother had never left me alone like that before. She wouldn't do it now, she wouldn't.
And the Wise Woman also kept talking about the things I could do to strengthen her. She said that it wouldn't make things that much faster, but- but maybe nobody had ever done everything right before. Maybe if I just tried hard enough, prayed enough, it would give Mother the strength she needed.
Maybe if I was perfect I'd get to see her again.
Now Sul was looking worried. "Nerevar-"
I didn't want to hear what Sul was going to say next. Ignoring him, I turned around, shifted the urn in my arms, and walked into the tomb.
Step by step, I made my way into the dark, teeth gritted against the strain. To distract myself, I silently rehearsed the phrase the Wise Woman had taught me. I couldn't get a single word wrong, I reminded myself. I had to be perfect.
Honoured ancestors, I bring Indoril Suveyna to join you. May you welcome her into-
Between one step and the next, reality tore.
I fell to my knees, my head ringing. It was as though I'd been walking across thin ice thinking it was solid ground, and it had finally given way to plunge me into frigid waters.
Slowly, the ringing subsided. I looked up to take stock.
First, and most obviously, I wasn't in our ancestral tomb anymore. The dim magelights were gone, the urns, the altar, even the stairs and the walls. All that remained was the dark, stretching on endlessly.
I also wasn't alone.
There were lots of people all around me. Dozens and dozens, even more than I'd seen at the tribes-moot when I was still little. They looked strange, too. All of them were glowing a bit, their clothes were weird, and their skin was grey, like they were covered in ash. Even stranger, their eyes were red! I could tell even though they weren't that close, because all of them were staring at me.
I gulped.
Maybe... maybe this was supposed to happen? The Wise Woman hadn't said anything about it, and neither had Sul, but maybe they hadn't thought to mention it. Maybe everyone knew that the tomb vanished inside and the ancestors were strange colours. Maybe this was normal.
And if it was, I wasn't doing it right. I only had the one chance, I had to strengthen Mother's spirit. I opened my mouth-
At that point, I realised something that should should should have been the very first thing I noticed:
I'd lost the urn.
I was about to panic when a voice interrupted me.
"Honoured ancestor, we greet you
We, your clan who hold you true
Beg you listen to us in our need
For all may be lost if you do not pay heed."
I stared.
The woman who'd approached me was as grey-skinned and red-eyed as all the others, clad in strange glittering green armour carved with geometric designs. More to the point, as far as I could tell at the start of all that poetry she'd called me honoured ancestor, and that was definitely the wrong way around.
There was probably some ritual for greeting an ancestor who was hopelessly confused, but if so no one had thought I'd need to know it. Just blurting out "what?" was almost certainly wrong, but the word escaped me anyway.
The woman blinked. Her eyes, which had been fixed on a point above my head, trailed down until they actually met mine. It was as though she'd been expecting someone much taller in my place.
"All right, that is... not helpful. Although I should probably have expected something like this, cursed dream-speech." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Honoured ancestor, I beg pardon for my insolence, but I do actually need to speak with you about something in the present. Would you do your humble descendant the great favour of growing up a little?"
Were ancestors supposed to be delusional? I'd worry about that, but I was worrying more about where Mother's ashes had gone-
But why was I thinking about them? Mother's ashes had been interred in our ancestral tomb in those dreadful weeks after her kagouti hunt had gone so terribly wrong when I was a child... centuries ago, in other words. And our tomb was in no danger – the guardians were strong, the ghostfence active, and no clan had attacked another's ancestors since we'd established the Council. Had I been dreaming?
Or was I still dreaming? Because the woman before me did not belong to the waking world. Grey skin, eyes like fire, she looked like an odd cross between a Chimer and a Dremora. And what on Nirn was that armour made out of?
"Who are you?" I demanded, scrambling to my feet as I reached back for my spear. "What are you?"
The woman looked as though she were regretting all the choices that had led her here. "Better, but still not what I need. Honoured ancestor- lord Hortator-"
She stopped, eyes shifting to focus on something behind me. It didn't strike me as a feint, so I dared a quick glance over my left shoulder.
The person coming up beside me could hardly be called such. She was a ghost of a ghost, her form faded into translucence, only a glimmer of light setting her off from the darkness. Her face was washed-out, blurred, almost invisible...
And yet I recognised it all the same.
Especially since I'd only just been thinking about her.
"Mother?" I mouthed.
My long-dead mother smiled at me, something terrible burning in those faded eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that escaped her was a quiet rustling whisper.
But-
But that wasn't right either, because I'd never known my mother, had I? Foundling, abandoned, clanless – the ghost looking at me now was a stranger to me. Was the wrong species, even, the bare hint of colour she had remaining showing her skin to be gold.
A hand rested on my other shoulder. I spun around.
"Easy there," said the man who'd come up on my right while I'd been distracted. "We'll take care of this."
Ahead, the woman who'd first addressed me – a Dunmer, of course, wearing glass armour in the Armiger style, and why had I been taken so aback at her appearance? - looked between me and the two now flanking me. "Honoured ancestors." That was addressed to the ghost-woman and, inexplicably, me. "You."
"What, I don't get a respectful title?" the man on my right retorted. He was Dunmer too, young, in plain clothes.
"You're younger than me, you're not one of my ancestors-"
"-transitivity says otherwise-"
"-and I heard about all the trouble you caused," the Armiger snapped. "No. Absolutely not. Besides, my business is with him, not you."
I looked around to see if anyone else had come up behind me while I wasn't looking, but the remaining people were keeping their distance. That meant that yes, the woman definitely meant me.
All right, with this and 'honoured ancestor'... was the woman actually blind? In what way, shape or form did I look male?
"I think she'd prefer 'her'," the man said, earning him my immediate undying gratitude.
"Her, then. I don't care. I do care about the fact that there are some very important things I need hi- her to know." She turned to me. "Honoured ancestor, take pity on your humble descendants for they are in need of you. The Ghostfence grows weaker as the Sharmat grows stronger, and evil has escaped to mass beyond it – at Mamaea, at Ilunibi, at Kogoruhn. You are the Hortator, you know the enemy – you must come to our aid."
"I. Have no idea what you're talking about?" Complete bafflement appeared to be the emotion of the day. "Are you sure you have the right person? I'm fairly sure I'd know if I had descendants... and I'm just an alchemist, you know, not some- some hero or something."
The woman stared at me long enough I began to wonder whether I had something on my face.
"See, I was trying to tell you," the man to my right said. "You're too early, she doesn't remember yet. Try again later."
The woman swore. "Vivec's spear-"
The man's hand on my shoulder tightened. The air around us grew sharp and heavy.
"I'm surprised," his voice was mild, "that you're still swearing by Vivec. Considering exactly who you're asking for help."
The woman straightened. I knew that posture from the inside – it was pride stiffening her spine. "And why shouldn't I? If it weren't for Lord Vivec we'd have been overrun long ago. With his strength bolstering us we'd still be holding the Sharmat's creatures well enough, too, if they hadn't learned to cursed well dig."
The ghost to my left moved forward, opened her mouth. Again, the only noise that escaped her sounded like wind passing through dead leaves – but this time said wind was definitely angry.
Judging by the Armiger's flinch, unlike me she could understand what the ghost was saying. "I... will think on your words, honoured ancestor."
She'd changed, I realised. Lines carved her face, her armour was dull and dented, and her eyes were infinitely tired as she turned to once more look at me.
"Honoured ancestor- no. Alchemist, if that's how you term yourself. He says you need time, so we shall give you all the time there is to spare. But please, when you are able – remember. Remember who you are, remember what you can do, and remember that the spirits of the Ghostgate need you."
The words felt like stones dropping into the surface of my mind, ripples spreading out from where they fell. (Remember- remember- remember-) Even after the last echo had died away, I felt- different. Heavy. As though the plea was still buried within me, hidden in the depths, waiting.
The woman, I realised, was fading away. When she met my eyes, I could see the darkness behind. She was so translucent it was hard to make out her figure when she brought her hands together in front of her chest, harder still as she sank into a deep bow – and by the time she should have risen again, she was gone. Gone, and the watching crowd with her, leaving me and my two companions alone in the dark.
"Could someone please explain what just happened?" I asked the universe plaintively.
The man beside me sighed. He still hadn't let go of my shoulder; it said something about how completely bewildering the last few minutes had been that I hadn't tried to dislodge him yet. "I would, but there's not much point. You wouldn't remember."
Something clicked. "Because I'm dreaming, right?"
"Because- well. Yes! Let's go with that."
That... had not been confirmation. I frowned, about to press him for the truth, but he got there first.
"Besides, we don't have much time left, and I want to tell you something." The man finally dropped his hand, instead stepping forward to stand in front of me. He, too, had changed – grey now streaked his hair, and his plain shirt, vest and breeches had turned into fine robes. The wrinkles around his eyes and mouth spoke of a mer who loved to laugh, but right now his face was solemn.
"But you just said I wouldn't remember anything-"
"Oh, I'm being perfectly selfish, this is for my benefit rather than yours." The man inhaled. "I'm sorry."
I decided that by the time this dream, or whatever it was, was over, I'd have to learn how to be perfectly, blissfully certain about everything as I'd have so badly abused my allotment of confusion for the next decade that the universe would almost certainly refuse to provide more. "I'm not following."
The man reached up to rub the back of his neck. "I'm new to this whole ancestor guardian thing, and... it's a very unusual situation, true, but all the same I'm afraid I've made an absolute hash of it. In my defense, you really have made yourself hard to keep track of – was it really necessary to move around that much when you were younger? - but I won't make excuses. There were times you could have really used a ghost showing up to throw fireballs at people on your behalf, and I didn't. I wasn't able, but that doesn't really matter. Fact of the matter is I didn't, and you have no idea how sorry I am for that."
Ancestor guardian. The cogs of my completely overwhelmed mind began to grind back into gear.
"You're... one of my ancestors." The image of a four-armed skeleton floated at the top of my mind. "From that tomb in the Grazelands?"
"What? Oh, no. Other side of the family entirely, that. Although your great-great-granduncle was delighted that you came to visit. Great-great-great? Something like that. In any case, no, I'm..."
He paused, eyes narrowing.
"I'd introduce myself, but you don't actually know if you want me to. Isn't that right?"
My gaze fell to the nonexistent floor.
He was right, of course. I hadn't even decided whether I wanted to use the Temple kinfinding services. Hadn't even tried to make up my mind, either, since it wouldn't matter until after I'd finished the pilgrimages and so I still had a lot of time to think it over... or so I'd expected. Having a chatty ghost turn up when I'd barely started had not been in my calculations at all, and now I didn't know what to think anymore.
I was distracted from my musings by the sensation of a hand ruffling my hair.
"Perfectly understandable you'd feel that way, of course. But-"
A rustle from my side – a whisper, far too faint to understand.
The man glanced over, gave a respectful nod aimed to my left. "We're almost out of time, it seems, and the honourable lady here has something to say." He paused. "The apology stands, you know. And if you're ever ready to stop running, I'll be here." Then he stepped back.
The faded ghost had remained quietly at my side while the man had been talking. Now, she drifted forward until she was facing me. She was a stranger, of course, no one I'd ever seen before, so I had no idea why a pit opened in my stomach at the sight of her.
She reached forward to cup my face, the touch as light and insubstantial as a breeze. My heart was beating fast enough to burst from my chest, but I didn't draw back, didn't try to free myself. Some strange buried part of me screamed in agony at the mere thought.
Cool lips brushed feather-light over my brow.
The world went white-
-white, then red-
-and then I was blinking up at the ceiling.
"What on Nirn," I asked it, "was that all about?"
"Captain Naros," Ervesa said decisively.
"Eh?" I blinked at her, torn out of my thoughts. After Ervesa's urging, I'd rushed through breakfast and we'd ended up reaching our agreed meeting point for the expedition to the shrine early. I'd slipped into daydreams as we waited.
"Your Buoyant Armiger. She was captain of the Armigers in the middle of the Second Era, known for her skill at poetry, and her spirit was one of the anchors of the Ghostfence when it was first erected. Glass armour was reserved for the captains until recently, and she's the only one who matches the description."
"That's... nice?"
Bewildering though it had been, I'd been delighted enough that for once I'd had a dream that I could at least partially remember I'd immediately shared it with Ervesa. If I'd known how she'd latch onto it, I'd have reconsidered. I suspected her enthusiasm for dissecting it was at least in part due to the fact that it meant we were not continuing our conversation from last night, but it was still annoying to deal with.
"Indoril Naros, she was," Ervesa continued. "Rare, too, to have an Indoril join the Armigers-"
"Says the Telvanni."
"-but not unheard of." Ervesa ignored my interjection. "Oh, imagine if you were descended from her! A true hero of the Armigers, we have at least a dozen ballads about her exploits – and you'd be an Indoril, too!"
Indoril. It was one of the five Great Houses, I knew, like Redoran or Telvanni but with no presence on Vvardenfell.
The name felt... familiar. Like a word I'd spoken so often my tongue had grown around its shape. It felt right.
I pushed the feeling away, because there was something more important than my flights of fancy.
"I... don't think she was my ancestor, though." I couldn't really remember the conversation we'd had – something about her wanting me to do something I couldn't? - but I was fairly sure about that part. I did have the vague recollection of her calling me her ancestor, but I must have gotten that muddled up with something else.
"Oh." Ervesa drooped. "Pity." True to form, though, she recovered quickly. "Now, the woman who wasn't a Dunmer, she's an interesting one. Altmer, you thought?"
I frowned. "I thought so... but she was short for one, and her hair was dark." I'd never seen an Altmer with dark hair, and really, really hoped the stories I'd heard of what they did to ensure that were just stories. "Gold skin, though, never seen that on a Bosmer before."
"There are no Altmer spirits in the Ghostfence... and although I suppose it's not out of the question you have Altmer blood, it'd have to be some way back for you to show none of the traits." Ervesa squinted at me, as though she thought I might suddenly grow a foot and have my eyes go yellow if she just stared at me long enough. I fought off the urge to cross my arms defensively. "Besides, I've heard Altmer spirits don't stick around long after death. Selfish, if you ask me. No family loyalty at all."
I considered starting a discussion about tolerance and respect for other cultures' death practices and decided it wasn't likely to be very productive. "This was definitely an older spirit. She was all... faded."
"Hmm. She could be Chimer." Ervesa sounded doubtful. "There are hardly any Chimer spirits left, though, and I have no idea why one would have an interest in you. They generally don't – it's been so long, the bloodlines are so distant, the few you still see are usually attached to places rather than people."
My memory of the woman was still splintered, but I was fairly sure that yes, she'd been interested in me specifically. The man had thought so too, hadn't he?
The honourable lady has something to say...
Although that hadn't been the only thing he'd told me, had it? No, he'd monologued at me, I was sure of it. The memory was scattered, but by concentrating I could begin to piece it back together.
There were times you could have really used a ghost showing up to throw fireballs at people, and I didn't.
I jerked upright from my slump against the wall. "The man- that's right! He was an ancestor. My ancestor guardian, he said."
Ervesa beamed. "Now we're getting somewhere. Can you describe him?"
"Well..." I thought back. "His hair was brown... or black... although it might have been grey? Um. I think it was longish, but I'm not certain. He wasn't... I don't think he was tall? Although he was taller than me, so maybe he was? And he was wearing, I don't know, something. Not armour."
Beside me, I saw that Ervesa was covering her eyes with one hand, as though unable to bear the sight of me. "He was talkative?" I offered weakly.
"That- were you paying any attention at all?"
"Well, I'm sorry!" I retorted, feeling slightly offended. "I don't have a good memory for faces!"
"Or hair, height, or clothes, apparently. By now I'm amazed you managed to remember Captain Naros' armour."
"I was paying more attention to what he was saying than what he looked like," I sniffed.
What he'd been saying.
The start of the dream was still hopelessly fragmented, but more and more the end was coming together again. The conversation with the man, in particular.
I'd introduce myself, but you don't actually know if you want me to. Isn't that right?
Suddenly, I was ready to be done with this conversation.
For once the universe decided to come to my aid – a surprise, as in recent times it seemed bent on making me suffer. Perhaps it was feeling guilty? At any rate, that was when the door slammed open and four more people spilled into the room.
"Can we go already?"
Correction, three people – a male Armiger in glass armour, a woman decked out in bonemould and Spikes who I'd met yesterday – plus one Daedra badly disguised as a pilgrim.
"Have some patience, woman," the unknown Armiger said. Judging by the frazzled look he was shooting her, he hadn't appreciated having to deal with our local Oblivion infiltrator so far. I had no sympathy. None. Zero. He'd only been faced with her since yesterday evening, and had had allies the whole time. I'd been forced to handle her for days, alone.
Vindictively, I decided to dub him Rich Boy. I'd done some research on the value of native Morrowind goods, and the price of a full suit of glass armour was astronomical. He had to come from serious money.
Rich Boy's pinched expression smoothed when he saw me and Ervesa. "Ah, and it seems we are complete. I thought for certain you two would be running late."
The implication was clear. I ground my teeth so hard he could probably hear them. Beside me, Ervesa stood frozen and silent as a statue. I didn't think it was only my imagination that I could feel guilt radiating off her.
Guilt which, in this particular case, didn't belong entirely to her.
I could have pressed the matter. Could have continued our conversation last night, could have stopped her from seizing onto the topic of my dream this morning. Ervesa had clearly been hoping to distract me, to avoid the topic, but it was hardly as if I was verbally defenceless. I could have insisted.
I hadn't.
Oh, I'd intended on it. Had promised myself I would, last night. But this morning, head still spinning from my realisation last night (needless to say, the dream had not served to make me feel any less confused), I hadn't been able to face it. It still hurt that she'd misrepresent our relationship to her fellows, but the fact that I didn't even know what I wanted that relationship to be anymore meant I wasn't in a good place to tell her off for it. So when she'd deflected... I'd let her.
I told myself very sternly that this avoidance would be a temporary state of affairs, coming to an end as soon as I got my head on straight. This habit of Ervesa's was strange, damaging, and absolutely not something to emulate.
The silence lengthened as Rich Boy looked between the two of us, brow furrowing. I suspected that we did not give the impression of a pair of lovers who'd just finished a romp in the sheets.
"Is everything all-"
"If we're all here, can't we go?"
The world was a strange and marvelous place, with unforeseen miracles around every corner. My greatest piece of evidence for this: the fact that I'd just found myself feeling grateful towards the Daedra.
"I agree with the pilgrim," the unknown woman said, speaking for the first time. I was clearly getting the hang of Morrowind culture and politics, given that I'd looked at her bonemold armour and dour expression and immediately been able to categorise her as Redoran. "If we keep standing her gossiping, we will be running late."
"Touchy, touchy..." Rich Boy shook his head. "But fair enough. Ervesa, we'll talk later."
Almost unnoticeably, Ervesa winced. I had absolutely no sympathy for her. She'd made her bed, time to lie in it.
"Right." The man straightened, turning to look first at me, then the badly disguised Daedra. "Pilgrims. We're about to enter the Red Mountain area. It is extremely dangerous, and don't think I'm exaggerating for poetic effect because I'm an Armiger. Taluro here will be able to confirm, and everyone can tell you she doesn't have a sense of humour." He nodded towards the Redoran woman, who glared at him but didn't otherwise protest. "Me, I'd love it if all of us returned from this trip alive, healthy, and with the same number of limbs we all started with. We have a competition going with the Ordinators, see, and I lose points if I lose any of you." His teeth flashed white in a grin.
I was starting to rethink this idea. I'd managed with no clan and no organised religion in my life up until now, surely I could continue on that way?
"So, pilgrims, a few ground rules." He began counting off his fingers. "Rule one, if we say something, you do it. No back-talk, no questions – if I say 'jump', I want to see you off the ground."
Well, it seemed this pilgrimage would definitely be a test of willpower, because talk about not playing to my strengths.
"Rule two, no wandering off. You are to stay beside one of us at all times. I don't care if you find the Blighted shalk off in the distance the most fascinating thing you ever saw, it will take your face off if you go near it."
I had no idea what sort of a mad person would detach themselves from their guards in a highly dangerous area to go look at a disease-ridden beast.
Although if there were rare alchemical ingredients around...
"Rule three... don't die."
All right, I thought I could manage that one.
"All right. Everyone got their soul gems? Then masks up and head out."
Even as I fumbled to draw up the scarf Ervesa had given me so that it covered my nose and mouth, the Armiger pulled a lever set into the outer wall and the solid iron gate gleaming with enchantment began, ponderously, to creak open.
For a moment, I wondered about safety. I hadn't seen any lock or other way the lever was secured. What was stopping someone from just wandering by and entering the Red Mountain region themselves?
...well, common sense, I supposed.
"Taluro, Enar, take point. Pilgrims, in the middle, with Ervesa to guard. I'll bring up the rear."
The warriors moved, smooth and coordinated as though they were parts of one great Dwemer automaton. As I stumbled to follow, I felt terribly like the grit in their cogwheel.
I'd barely taken five steps from the gate before I began to rethink this whole endeavour.
At first glance, the area inside the Ghostgate looked much like the landscape just outside. Ash, the odd dead tree, more ash, the glow of a lava pool in the far distance...
But one obvious difference immediately caught my attention – there were no living plants. Oh, the Ashlands and Molag Amur might seem dead to the ignorant, but there was still scathecraw and trama root, fire fern and lichen, nature clinging to every foothold it could. Here? Nothing as far as the eye could see.
Which wasn't very far. Although I knew the sun had risen by now, it was hidden by clouds so thick and dark that fact could no longer be empirically verified, the closest hills only distant shadows in the gloom. Here just outside Ghostgate the eerie white-blue light of the Ghostfence illuminated our surroundings, but further in I suspected it would be little better than night-time.
Beside me, Miss Daedra in disguise raised her hand. Magicka gathered around her palm, brightened-
"No light spells," Rich Boy hissed from ahead. "We need our night vision, and we don't need attention."
Wonder of wonders, the so-called pilgrim who had been a plague on my existence the last two days immediately obeyed, the gathering sparks snuffed out as if they'd never been. Where had that docility been when I'd been trying to explain that I could not, in fact, magically whisk the both of us to Ghostgate?
Although really, magic was an idea. Unlike the Daedra I wasn't stupid enough to send up a giant we are here signal, but if this area was really so dangerous it couldn't hurt for me to use my Detection spell to keep a metaphysical eye on our surroundings. I reached into my magicka-
Correction. It could absolutely hurt.
For one, I'd forgotten about the Ghostfence. The edifice, awe-inspiring enough to regular eyes, was even more imposing to my magical senses. Trying to sense anything past it was like trying to hear a water droplet in a waterfall, and so by all rights it should have drowned out anything nearby.
Should have being the key word.
There was something wrong here, pulsating and feverish and poisonous. It reminded me of nothing so much as the Blighted guar we'd run into in the West Gash, except that this sensation wasn't coming from a particular point. No, although it did seem to get stronger to the north, I could sense it diffusely all around me. It was as if the very air were tainted with something.
The scarf was scratchy and uncomfortable against my face. All the same, I didn't think I'd be taking it off until we were back in Ghostgate. Or outside Ghostgate. Really, was I sure Balmora was far enough away to be safe?
"Adryn," Ervesa hissed from my side.
I realised I'd come to a complete halt. "Sorry," I murmured, and forced myself to take another step, then another, as I cut the flow of magicka off. I almost tripped as the sensations ceased, but caught myself just in time. I didn't think I really wanted to come in close contact with the ground here. My feet couldn't be helped, of course, but there was no need to go beyond that. As it was, I'd have to give serious thought to amputation once we got back.
The heavy, echoing clang of a gate slamming shut was unmistakeable, but I shot a glance behind us anyway. Sure enough – our exit was shut, and I couldn't help but notice that there was no lever on this side.
I had a brief moment to regret all the choices that had led me here.
"It'll be opened for us when we get back," Rich Boy said. "Now, let's get a move on."
And so we moved.
Under other circumstances, the journey might have seemed anticlimactic. Nothing jumped out to attack us from the darkness. There was no sign there was anything out there other than us at all, in fact. I could imagine Masalinie scoff at the amount of unnecessary drama we'd injected these proceedings with.
I wasn't scoffing. For one, I believed in following the lead of experts in an unfamiliar situation, and all the inhabitants of Ghostgate were on edge, hands on their weapons and eyes darting around. They clearly thought there was a threat. For another, even with the Ghostfence hidden behind a hill I still felt watched...
Correction: I felt watched again. The eyes on me at Ghostfence had been eerie, true, but underneath that had been a sense of... protectiveness, almost. As though I were a child and they were the guardian, willing to let me walk on my own but ready to catch me if I should fall.
(Easy there. We'll take care of this.)
That sensation was definitely gone. The one that replaced it felt more as though I was wandering beneath the maw of a great beast and it was deciding whether to see how I tasted. The skin on my upper back crawled to the point where I suspected my shoulder-blades were trying to make a bid for freedom. Bringing my shoulders up to my ears helped only a little.
All in all, I breathed a little sigh of relief when we reached the triangular shrine, and sent up a quiet prayer of gratitude to whichever god had made certain it was only a short distance away from Ghostgate. I did not want to go traipsing through this region any longer than necessary.
I didn't know if it was my imagination, but the stone seemed to be shining with a faint gold luminescence in the gloom.
"All right," Rich Boy whispered. He and his compatriots hadn't approached the shrine. Instead, they spread to form a loose ring around it, eyes staring out into the gloom around us. "Pilgrims, perform the rite. Adryn, you go first."
"What? I've journeyed here all the way from-" I'd known the way the Daedra had been quiet all the way had been too good to last.
"Rule one, pilgrim." The words, though quiet, cracked like a whip. "If you can't follow it, we return now."
I swore I could hear the woman's teeth grind from here. In other circumstances, I might have stopped to enjoy the sound. However, any temptation to gloat was more than eclipsed by the desire to get this over with so we could get back to Ghostgate as soon as possible.
The way my breath started coming easier and the sensation of hostile eyes on my back died down the closer I got to the shrine was definitely not my imagination.
I dug into my pouch. Seeing as I hadn't, actually, been planning to visit Ghostgate when I left town, I hadn't come prepared. Thankfully, Ervesa had had a soul gem and been willing to give it up for the sake of my spiritual journey. Now, I dropped the small gleaming stone into the bowl in front of the shrine.
Ervesa had also taught me the appropriate prayer. Well, one of them. Apparently the traditional one had actual stanzas, but at some point (potentially when this trip became life-threatening) Vivec had shown mercy and started accepting an abbreviated version.
"I honour your pride and ask for your blessing," I whispered. For some strange reason, I was having a much easier time dredging up the feelings of respect and awe than at the shrine at the High Fane. I was sure it had nothing to do with the fact that today had driven home very thoroughly that Vivec, Almalexia and Sotha Sil were the reason why the whole island hadn't been overrun by...
...I was really hoping I'd finish out the day without learning how that sentence ended.
The glow of the shrine brightened, the soul gem echoing it. The light grew stronger, joined, rose up to wind around me-
When I blinked the light was gone, and the soul gem with it. But my mind felt sharper and clearer than before, the wellspring of magicka within me stronger. Part of me was tempted to try my Detection spell again to see if there'd be a difference. I suspected that this was the same part that would occasionally suggest mixing volatile ingredients together at random to see what would happen. In any case, my self-preservation instinct quashed it within seconds.
"Next," came the voice from behind me.
I'd barely stepped to the side when the Daedra in disguise was in my previous spot in front of the shrine. She dropped to her knees, hands outstretched, a soul gem cupped in them.
My eyes narrowed. The soul gem was far larger than the petty one Ervesa had given me. In fact, it looked very much like the grand gem I'd seen on Galbedir's desk weeks ago... with one significant difference. Instead of the crystalline pale blue or gold I was familiar with, this one was solid black.
In one respect it was the same as Galbedir's, though. The shimmering flame in its depths that told me it was full.
For all her urgency, the Daedra laid the strange gem into the shrine-bowl with exquisite care, as though afraid it might shatter if handled wrongly. Then she bowed her head, twisted her hands together, and began to pray.
Or, I realised as I heard her low words, to beg.
"Vivec. God, or whatever you are. Please set her free. Please, I'll do anything-"
The light gathered more slowly this time, and it didn't reach out to the woman the way it had to me. Instead, it grew stronger and stronger around the soul gem, as though a miniature sun had come to earth through the gloom. I found myself squinting against the brilliance, struggling to keep myself from squeezing my eyes shut. Something was happening here, and I wanted to know what it was-
A loud bang made me jerk back - which turned out to be a very good thing as something small shot just past the tip of my nose. The gem, I realised after a moment, had exploded with enough force one of the shards had almost struck me.
The light was still there, though, rising up from the now-empty basin. It shifted, spread, took on form-
For a bare moment, I saw the shape of a woman outlined in glowing pinpricks, as though a hundred thousand fireflies had come together. From the corner of my eye, I could see the kneeling Imperial stretch out a hand towards her, raw relief and yearning written on her face so clearly I could read it despite the cloth wrapped around the bottom half of her face.
"Thank you, thank you-"
With my next breath, the figure dissolved, the sparks growing ever fainter as they drifted heavenward.
When they were gone, the gloom around us seemed even darker and more foreboding than before. Perhaps it was just that I'd just thoroughly lost my night vision, but I no longer saw any sort of light – real or imagined – around the shrine. The sensation of eyes on my back had returned as well, and this time the great beast was awake and hungry.
"What in Oblivion was that?"
The words echoed those in my mind. The tone, however, did not – there was no awe or confusion in that harsh whisper, only accusation.
My companion straightened. "I freed her, obviously."
All right. Judging by the display of actual emotion earlier it seemed my theory was wrong and the woman was not, in fact, a Daedra in disguise... but who could blame me for my misconception? The sheer amount of haughtiness she was radiating was positively superhuman.
"That's not what I meant." Rich Boy, on the other hand, was clearly getting angry. "I told you yesterday evening that this isn't a war expedition! You-" The Armiger's voice cut off. After a moment, he spat out, "Back to Ghostgate. Now."
The cautious crawl we'd kept up on the journey to the shrine was gone, replaced by something on the verge of a run. I fell in next to Ervesa, legs burning from the strain. "What's going on?" I whispered.
She didn't turn her head to look at me, eyes fixed out into the darkness, and for a moment I thought she wasn't going to answer. Then the reply came, a low murmur out of the side of her mouth.
"She used the shrine ritual to free a soul. It's permitted, but only when you're accompanied by a full party of guards, not a scouting group like ours. Because it's a lot more attention-grabbing than the blessing ritual, see? Now every creature within miles knows we're here."
I considered that piece of information.
On second thought, I could definitely move faster than this.
Ghostgate was in sight and I was starting to think we'd make it back with nothing but a scare when the attack came.
It happened very suddenly. One moment I was looking towards the glowing blue line of the Ghostfence with relief, the next some deeply-seated instinct had me on the ground before my conscious mind could react. Now, ordinarily I very thoroughly disapproved of my body doing things without my input, but in this case the hiss of a spell passing over my head left me more than willing to make an exception.
"Defensive formation!" Rich Boy's bark was dim to my ears, deafened by the sound of my pounding heart. Gritty ash clung to my fingers as I scrambled to my feet, eyes searching the gloom to our side for the origin of that spell.
There. A spark of mage-light illuminated a strange figure. The fact that it seemed to be standing upright and the robes it was wearing said it was a person... except that even the most hulking Nord didn't have shoulders that broad, and the red light reflected off-
Well. Judging by the shifting tendrils, suffice it to say that whatever was under its hood, I didn't think face was the correct term.
A whisper interrupted me, from what I suddenly realised was a patch of darker shadow between me and the figure. Shifting ash-
-the sound, I realised with a terrible sinking feeling, of something readying itself for a leap.
Something too close for me to dodge.
Time slowed down.
I'd heard of one's life flashing before one's eyes before. It seemed to be a mainstay of a particular type of trashy adventure novel, and I'd always been skeptical of the concept, had thought it an exaggeration used for narrative effect more than anything real. Now...
Well, I was about to die, but at least there was a silver lining: I was about to die being right. No flashing was happening. I was not seeing any scenes from my past take shape. Instead, I only saw a giant mouth full of fangs growing steadily larger, rapidly enough I could already tell I wouldn't have enough time to pull out my birthsign. I'd have to crow about it to Ingerte in the afterlife once I got there, which I expected to happen in... oh... three seconds or so.
"Adryn!"
Something hot and bright sped past my face, so close I thought I could feel my hair singeing. The fireball hit the Blighted alit head-on, flinging it back. For a moment, I thought it would struggle back to its feet to resume the attack, but a second fireball put paid to that. After a few helpless twitches, the thing lay still.
I chanced a look backwards. Some twenty or so feet away, Ervesa stood, sword in one hand, the other outstretched. In front of her was a ghost.
I had to admit at this point that I didn't have much experience with the undead, seeing as I was (I liked to think) of a sensible bent overall, the sort who preferred to stay well away from the sort of places they might frequent. The fact that my streak of avoidance had been broken with my visit to the ancestral tomb was very shameful, and I hoped to regain it as soon as possible. All the same, even for a novice this was not a hard identification to make. Something about the way the woman was transparent, glowing slightly, and hovering a little over the ground instead of standing on it. Oh, and the fact that just now she'd swirled the hem of her ornate robes right through a rock.
Mage robes, they were, even if the style was one I'd expect to see in a history book rather than on the street, and the ghost had her hands up in a classic caster's position. There was an expression of fierce concentration on her face...
A face that looked rather like Ervesa's, come to think of it.
There were times you could have really used a ghost showing up to throw fireballs at people on your behalf.
Well. I suspected I'd just discovered what, exactly, an ancestor guardian was.
My sense of self-preservation – which must have been shocked into silence by my close call earlier – came back to life. It informed me that it apologised whole-heartedly for its lapse, but there was no need to worry as it was now back to its usual, robust self. As a welcome back gift, it would like to point out that I was currently standing in the middle of a dangerous wasteland while we were under active attack, and in lieu of staring at Ervesa's grandmother or whoever she was I should perhaps consider alternate courses of action. Like, oh, running.
As if on cue, the ghost's gaze slid away from me to focus on what I suspected was the tentacle-faced monster. Her brow furrowed, and red light began to gather between her palms.
Behind it, something snarled.
I legged it.
"Well, that was exciting!"
Ervesa sounded excited, too. Downright chipper, in fact, an impression only strengthened by the way her eyes were gleaming and she was bouncing on the balls of her feet. All in all, it was an emotional state I considered flagrantly inappropriate for just having narrowly escaped from certain death. And I did mean just. The gates had only slammed shut behind us a moment ago! We weren't even inside yet!
I shot Ervesa a narrow-eyed glare, attempting to communicate just how much I was judging her through the power of my eyeballs alone. It did make Ervesa stop bouncing, but given that the look she returned was more filled with confusion than anything else I assumed I wasn't very successful.
"Don't bother," the Redoran woman told me. "She's an Armiger. Completely mad, the lot of them." She glanced over at Spikes, who looked just as improperly happy as Ervesa, then shook her head. "And here I'd been hoping for a nice, quiet patrol."
Redoran lady's glare had far more force than mine, enough that I cringed away from it despite not being the target. The target in question being the one currently standing some feet away deep in hissed conversation with Rich Boy, and apparently, despite the preponderance of evidence, not secretly a Daedra. This realisation had been rather shocking, and I wasn't entirely certain I trusted it. Surely that level of sheer unpleasantness couldn't be created on Nirn alone?
But ever since the scene at the shrine, the woman had changed. Oh, she was still haughty and supercilious, and judging by his expression Rich Boy wasn't having any luck in his attempt at telling her off. But now it was possible to make out sparks of genuine emotion beneath. It was as though she'd surrounded herself by a thick shell, and the destruction of the soul gem had cracked it open, allowing me to make out relief, joy, grief...
Mainly grief.
"You are mad," she was saying, "if you think I would have let her suffer a single moment longer than necessary."
"And your inability to wait two days for us to get a war party together almost got us all killed!"
"But it didn't, did it? And would you really have gone to that effort, for us?" A pause. "For an outlander?"
Her tone was so sharp that I reflexively glanced down to make sure I wasn't bleeding, and she wasn't even talking to me. I had to tamp down a surge of envy; what a weapon for your verbal arsenal! She still owed me for getting her to Ghostgate in the first place – maybe I could ask her to teach me?
Rich Boy drew himself up. "Of course we would have!"
He sounded insulted, indignant. A little too much so, perhaps? It was very easy to declare that of course you would have gone out of your way, of course you would have agreed to do this dangerous thing for this very unpleasant person, after the fact.
Perhaps I was simply too cynical. If so, I and the not-actually-a-Daedra pilgrim were of the same mind. I could tell from her face that she didn't believe him either.
Despite myself, my own anger at her for putting me in danger was dying down. I still didn't know her story, but I thought I'd managed to put together some of the pieces. Someone, this she, had died and her soul had been trapped in the soul gem. (I hadn't even realised that was possible. Why, oh why, did the world seem to think I needed more fodder for my nightmares?) The Shrine of Pride had been the woman's only hope for freeing her.
For freeing someone the woman must have loved a very great deal. With the benefit of hindsight, I could see that love shine through her every action, bring new depths to her desperation, strengthen her urgency, her fear. No wonder she wasn't repentant. No wonder she'd kept pushing to reach the shrine. If it had been Charon or Ingerte-
It was the easiest thing in the world, to imagine myself in her place.
I was, I realised with some amount of horror, on the verge of succumbing to an attack of altruism. And not just any attack, no – one directed at the false Daedra who'd been the bane of my life for the last two days, something which I would have expected would put paid to that sort of thing. I'd managed to reach a new low point, and it was time to remove myself from the situation before I embarrassed myself any further.
"Well!" I chirped. "It looks like they'll be at that for a while, and that they don't need reinforcements. I, for one, would like to get inside and wipe the entirety of this morning from my memory. In absence of a miraculous amnesia draught, I will also accept lunch as a substitute."
Ervesa made a considering noise. "I could do with something to eat..."
Spikes looked tempted, but then shook his head. "Salyn will murder me if I abandon him. I'll wait."
"While I should get started on the reports," Redoran lady said. "Uvoo Llaren will want an explanation for this mess, and it's better it comes from me." She glanced at where Rich Boy and the pilgrim who miraculously wasn't in any way Daedric were engaged in heated discussion. "Or rather, better if it's not in verse. Armigers, honestly."
The two Armigers present and listening looked as though they were about to take offense. I decided to preempt them.
"Well, that works out great! Because as it so happens, Ervesa and I need to have a private conversation. Don't we?"
Ervesa gulped.
At this time of day the common area of the Tower of Dusk was nearly deserted, making it possible to find a quiet corner where the two of us could talk without being overheard. Ervesa followed me obediently without making a break for freedom even once, although judging by her expression the idea had been sorely tempting. She was looking at me the way I would look at an angry Daedroth, which smarted. I wanted her to look at me like-
All right, I didn't know how I wanted Ervesa to look at me, but I knew this wasn't it.
"Seriously," the words escaped me, "how can you shrug off being attacked by wild beasts and whatever that tentacle-headed thing was like it's nothing, and then be terrified of a simple conversation?"
Ervesa quirked an eyebrow. "How can you be so worried about a simple combat situation but just open yourself up to argument and mockery as though it's nothing?"
It was clearly going to take some effort for us to find common ground on this topic.
But that was fine. I had time, this particular disagreement didn't have to be solved today.
What I did have to tackle today was something else.
I'd let myself dodge the topic this morning, still muddled from my realisation followed by my dream. I had to admit I didn't feel any less muddled now. Quite the contrary. So many things had happened in the past two days, and now they all blended together. Ervesa, hands twisting together, unable to meet my eyes. A ghostly hand on my shoulder in a dream, mirrored by a ghost in reality, hand outstretched in defense. The desperate, hopeless love on the pilgrim's face. A shattering soul gem, a fireball streaking past my face, a figure limned in golden light, a whisper-
If you're ever ready to stop running, I'll be here.
Was that what I'd been doing, really? And here Ervesa was praising me for courage.
No, I still didn't know what I wanted, not from Ervesa, not from my ancestor, not from my past. But I did know I couldn't leave things like this.
"Look. I still think you should be honest to your comrades about the way you feel. I think in the long run it'd be easier and make you happier than pretending. And I'm still not happy about the way you dragged me into your story without asking if I was all right with it." Ervesa flinched. I had to suppress my own, echoing her in sympathy. It had been a lot easier to see Ervesa unhappy before I'd realised how I felt. "But..."
I inhaled. I still wasn't sure about the next part. But I had to say something.
"For now, if it's easier for you? You can pretend we're together. I give you permission."
For a moment, Ervesa just blinked at me, as if she wasn't sure she'd understood me correctly. Then she smiled, wide and beaming, like a sunrise in her face.
My heart, traitorous thing that it was, skipped a beat. I informed it very sternly that this was unacceptable. I had seen Ervesa smile before, many times. The thing she was smiling about wasn't something I thought was a good idea. Going into histrionics over her facial expression was not just unnecessary but uncalled for. It was bad enough I'd been subjected to the indignity of having a crush in the first place – I refused to entertain romance novel heroine behaviour on top of it.
"You mean it?"
"I do."
Judging by the way it was speeding up, my heart had completely ignored everything I'd told it. We were going to have to have words later.
I reminded myself that the reason for this decision hadn't been to make Ervesa happy. Her happiness was an incidental, unimportant – unimportant! - side effect. No, the reason had simply been that-
-well-
-I'd definitely had one, that was the point, and it had been logical and objective and well-thought-out. Something to do with solidarity, maybe? Just because in this moment I couldn't seem recall it, just because right now it felt like making Ervesa smile was reason enough, didn't mean that that had actually been why I did it. That would be ridiculous, I told myself sternly.
"Thank you," Ervesa said now, still smiling. It would make things a lot easier on me if she'd stop. (I didn't want her to stop). "I- I am sorry, you know. I didn't mean for... all this to happen." She gestured vaguely.
"I forgive you," my mouth said with no input from any rational part of my brain whatsoever. I was rewarded-
-punished, punished, this was definitely a punishment-
-by her smile widening.
"Will you be at Ghostgate long?" In desperation, I seized on the first change of subject that came to mind. "Your colleagues said something about Armigers at your level not usually being stationed here."
Ervesa nodded. "It's changed because we need more manpower than before." Thinking back to the events of the morning, I decided I didn't need to ask why. "But Captain Omayn isn't willing to cancel the wandering-years entirely. My rotation here finishes in two months, after that I'm back to independent work. We can catch up in Ald'ruhn then."
My stomach had absolutely no business falling at that statement. My stomach should be staying at exactly the elevation I told it to. Anything else was rebellion and I would not tolerate it.
"I assume you're heading back to Ald'ruhn soon?" Ervesa asked.
Oh, no, I'm planning to hang out at the horrifying fortress under assault by tentacle-faced monstrosities.
Although it was good to know that I hadn't lost all my usual intellectual faculties, I decided discretion -- or rather, lack of sarcasm -- was the better part of valour here. "I am." A pause. "Well, as soon as I figure out how to get back through the Ashlands with minimal risk of death."
For the thousandth time, I cursed the fact that none of the old Chimer fortresses were built a little closer to civilization. Although I'd taken its propylon index with me and could therefore teleport to Hlormaren whenever I wanted, Jamie and I had had enough issues with hostile beasts in the swamps between there and Balmora that I didn't think it was much of an improvement over trying to make my way back from Ghostgate. As such, I was only planning to use it in an emergency. The other indices I'd left in my cupboard in the Ald'ruhn dorms -- Indoranyon was, after all, even worse in terms of location and Falasmaryon didn't even bear thinking about.
Ervesa blinked at me. "Oh! I forgot you wouldn't know."
That sounded promising. "Know what?"
"Ghostgate gets supplies delivered once a week by silt strider, from Ald'ruhn. The next arrival should be tomorrow. It's not an official passenger route, but the caravaneer is usually very obliging if you ask to be taken along -- especially on the return journey."
Had I really managed to miss an entire strider platform all this time? The things weren't exactly unobtrusive, seeing as they needed to be built at least ten feet into the air... and yet all signs were pointing to yes. It was possible my situational awareness needed some work. Or perhaps the not-a-Daedra pilgrim had, in fact, been just that distracting.
I thought for a moment, then decided to blame it on the pilgrim. Although I'd developed a lot more sympathy for her after learning why she'd been so stressed, that only went so far.
"Well," I said, "that sounds a lot more promising than how I thought I'd have to travel back. I'll just hope we have no ash storms in the next few days, shall I?"
So it was possible my experiences in Maar Gan had left me a little mistrustful of the robustness of the strider network. No judge could possibly blame me.
Ervesa cast me a wry look. "I'm guessing you won't be reassured by me telling you that that was really a very unusual situation and I've never experienced the network breaking down like that before. So instead, I'll say that if we do have issues with the strider, we'll arrange something to get you back." A pause. "We won't just leave you stranded. I promise." Her eyes met mine, ruby gaze filled with sincerity.
They should really let the fire die down a little, I decided. It was far too hot in here, or at least that was the only explanation I would entertain for why my cheeks felt flushed.
"Thanks, Ervesa." The fire got mysteriously warmer. "I. I should go- pack. Yes! Pack."
Ervesa blinked at me, looking a little bemused. "All right, you do that. I'll grab something to eat and then find Taluro to help her with the reports." Her brows twisted. "I know she said she didn't want any rhyme, but I really think the severity of the attack would be best conveyed in a sonnet..."
The fact that that seemed endearing was proof of what I'd always suspected: having a crush rotted your brain. It was possible it was a proximity-based effect, in which case the best thing for me to do would be to remove myself from Ervesa's vicinity as soon as possible to prevent further decomposition.
"You do that!" I squeaked out and fled.
Well, I thought once I'd retreated to my room. I had a small list of things to do now. For instance, verify with someone exactly when the strider should be arriving. Pack, as I'd told Ervesa I was going to do (even if this was a task that admittedly would not take very long, given that I hadn't exactly left Balmora prepared for a long journey). Get lunch myself, which I'd completely forgotten about during our conversation and which my stomach was now reminding me it had been promised earlier. However, all of these were definitely lower in priority than the first item on my list:
Find somewhere I could drown myself out of sheer embarrassment.
Unfortunately, locations appropriate for drowning oneself turned out to be hard to come by in the middle of the ash-ridden wilderness. Not only was there no river, no lake, no ocean, not even the underground hot springs common in Morrowind cities, but the wash-rooms were bereft of bath-tubs and the buckets provided for one's ablutions were too small for one's head. This left my plans to escape my own humiliation once and for all thrown awry and so, when the following day and with it the time to keep an eye out for a silt strider appearing on the horizon arrived, I was in fact still breathing.
There were upsides to my survival, however. One of them found me in the form of beautiful, wonderful, cold hard cash.
"I suppose you did get me to my destination all right." The definitely-not-a-Daedra pilgrim sounded distinctly grudging, but given that she'd still handed over the half-septim coin I wasn't going to complain. Especially since...
"You could have told me why you wanted to go there, you know. I wouldn't have given you as much of a hard time."
I'd tried to convince myself that, given that the woman had been incredibly rude from almost the instant I agreed to her request and had not given any sign that she was grieving, it was perfectly understandable that I'd been rude back. No, there was absolutely no need to feel guilty at all, I told myself repeatedly.
It didn't stop me.
The woman sniffed. Given that we were of an height, it was truly amazing how strongly she managed to give the impression of looking down her nose at me. "And what business was it of yours? I shouldn't need to explain my circumstances to hired help."
All right, that comment did make the guilt die down some. Hired help, I ask you.
"Right. Thanks so much." In deference to her grief, I resisted giving the sharper side of my tongue free rein and contented myself with, "I'm sorry for your loss, and I sincerely hope I never see you again in my life."
Judging by the very Daedra-like expression the woman wore, the feeling was mutual. Thank Azura she was staying at Ghostgate for a little longer (why, I neither knew nor cared) and would not be accompanying me on the strider. It was a miracle we'd managed to avoid attempted murder this far -- better not to test that fact, especially by spending hours sitting next to a steep drop in shoving distance of each other.
She wasn't the only one I ended up bidding farewell. After a quick goodbye to Spikes and Tattoos in the morning, I discovered that my nickname of "Rich Boy" was, in fact, extremely accurate when the man caught me and asked me to convey his best wishes to his uncle Athyn in Ald'ruhn. Now that I thought about it, there had been something about a Buoyant Armiger cousin of Varvur's in the middle of all that mess, hadn't there? I'd probably repressed the memory as it contained far too much Varvur to be safe for the long-term.
In any case, I hastily agreed to bear the message and made my escape. Rich Boy made it sound like he was on good terms with his uncle, which meant they might have talked. About me. And although usually I'd have dismissed that sort of thought as excessive pride or paranoia, since recent events had proven that people were in fact gossiping about me behind my back I figured it was best to flee the vicinity and avoid him for the rest of the life. A perfectly proportional response, in my opinion.
The final goodbye was, of course, to Ervesa.
She accompanied me out to the platform when the strider came into view -- the only one to do so. I got the impression the other Armigers were giving us the space for a long, heartfelt, tearful lovers' farewell. They'd no doubt have been disappointed by the reality, but I, for one, appreciated not having them around. Even if I'd agreed to the deception for Ervesa's sake, I was hardly comfortable with it. The fact that I no longer knew exactly which parts of the deception I wanted to be untrue made the whole thing even worse. All in all, it was good to be seen off without worrying about what prying eyes and wagging tongues were making of the whole thing.
"Be careful, would you? Now that I won't be available for rescuing until my rotation at Ghostgate is over." Ervesa also seemed more relaxed now that we were alone. I could have handled this better if her relaxation diddn't come with a side of teasing.
"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself-"
"-evidence says otherwise-"
"-but if you insist, I'll get Jamie to come along the next time I need to go out of town."
Being in- having a crush, I quickly corrected myself, was terrible for your backbone. Ordinarily, I'd have been able to defend myself, I was sure. Point out how a perfectly understandable run of misfortune did not mean I was reckless or needed looking after. Unfortunately, ever since the other day Ervesa just had to give me her disappointed look and I folded. It was downright embarrassing, and I was glad I'd be safe from it for the next several months, when she wouldn't be able to just drop in on me at Ald'ruhn.
Definitely glad, I told myself. The sinking sensation in my stomach was mere coincidence. It wasn't as if my life would in any way feel empty without her, not like I was going to miss her with all the force of a love song, or perhaps a sugartooth in need of a fix. I was a sensible, independent adult who was above that sort of behaviour.
If I needed to remind myself of that on a regular basis, so what?
"And you take care of yourself, too." I blurted out the sentence more to distract myself from my thoughts than anything, but the instant after I realised that it was, if anything, more necessary than her telling me the same thing. "Keep an eye out and don't be stupid about things. If you get eaten by kagouti or... whatever else is out there... before we see each other again, I'll be very disappointed in you."
The grin fell off Ervesa's face, leaving her looking almost solemn. I squirmed as I realised she'd heard the genuine worry behind my worries. "I will." A quirk of the lips. "I don't particularly want to get myself killed either. I'd be sad if I couldn't see you again, for one."
Heat in my cheeks, again. Maybe I should get myself checked for Blight, because that had been happening a lot over the past few days.
Our gazes caught, held. Ervesa's eyes were dark, serious, filled with... with...
I could feel something bubble up within me. An impulse, growing from stray thought to desire to compulsion, completely detached from logic or reason. The same way that one might find oneself bizarrely tempted to stick a finger into the fire to see if it burned, I wanted nothing but to open my mouth and say-
"Hey. Ervesa. I-"
"Oi! Lovebirds!"
I jerked back from Ervesa- and since when had we been standing so close, anyway?
"If one of you wants a ride, she'd better quit it with the staring into each other's eyes and help me unload!"
While we'd been talking, the strider had reached the platform. Judging by the gimlet eye the caravaneer was giving us, the woman was not inclined to let us finish our farewell in peace. Never to mention that she had entirely the wrong idea-
Sanity came back in a rush, and I decided that wrong idea or not, I was grateful for the interruption. I didn't know what Daedric impulse had seized me just now -- didn't even fully know what exactly I'd been about to say to Ervesa -- but it had been a terrible one. The time for talking to her about (I internally shuddered) my feelings would be after I understood what said feelings were. Or never. How about never.
"Shall we?" I asked Ervesa.
Unloading went quickly, especially when others came out to help. Judging by the caravaneer's muttering, it still wasn't fast enough for her, and once all the crates were on the platform I barely had time for more than a quick "See you in a few months!" before she'd hustled me onto the strider. Something about being behind schedule, judging by her grumbling. I was distracted by other things.
Turning away from Ervesa hurt, as though something had grown between us and I was tearing it out by the roots. Grimly, I forced myself to ignore the feeling, keeping my face still until Ghostgate was just a smudge against the Ghostfence and Ervesa's tiny figure was well and truly no longer visible.
Two months apart, I decided, would be just right. Time enough to investigate what on Nirn I was feeling without Ervesa's presence confusing the matter (where by "the matter" I meant "me"). At the end of two months, I'd definitely have figured out what I actually wanted from her. At that point I'd be able to talk to her about it -- or, alternatively, get over it.
I knew which of the two I was rooting for.
Notes:
Fun fact: Adryn's ancestor guardian is in fact a canon ESO character, same as Captain Naros. I've deliberately not put in very many clues as to who because his identity would be a massive, giant spoiler for a part of Adryn's origins that we won't get full detail on for a long time. I was, in fact, planning to introduce him much later and in a different role for this very reason, but when I'd already started writing this chapter he piped up saying that actually, he'd like to show up now and in this way. So you can blame him for part of how long this took!
Also, it probably says something about my writing style that I'd been planning to just have Adryn deal with the unpleasant pilgrim from in-game for the hilarity, and then when I'd turned around she'd gone and sprouted a sympathetic backstory and motivations out of nowhere...
Chapter 27: Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Text
"Well," Jamie said as the gates of Balmora came into view, "that wasn't as productive as I hoped." Her voice was mild, but I could hear the frustration beneath it. No wonder – it was frustration I shared.
After getting back from Ghostgate, I'd decided that blackmail or no blackmail, I was staying within city walls for the time being. Between Habasi and cliff racers, I'd take Habasi. The resolution had lasted over a week until Ranis had taken me aside, asking me to escort a scholar to Pelagiad. My initial confusion — in what way, shape or form did I look like a bodyguard? — cleared up as she went on: what Ranis was actually interested in were this Itermerel's research notes. Whether he reached his destination safely or not was less of a priority.
In fact, if I'd been forced to say, I suspected that Ranis' preference would be that Itermerel not make it to his destination safely. There would definitely have needed to be force involved for me to admit that, though. I'd spent our conversation ignoring that particular subtext with all the strength I had to spare, meeting the pointed remarks about how dangerous the wilds of Vvardenfell were these days with as much studied obliviousness as I could dredge up. Just because Ranis had decided to take the concept of cut-throat academic rivalries literally didn't mean she could get me involved.
All things told, my first stop after Ranis had given me my orders had not, in fact, been the inn where Itermerel was staying, but the Redoran free housing complex for members on House business in Ald'ruhn. I'd been in luck – Jamie had been in, and very agreeable when I asked her if she'd mind an unpaid escort job. The fact that I'd suggested we could use the opportunity to collect some ingredients had probably helped.
Which was where the frustration came in.
"Sorry, Jamie," I told her now. "I'm new to this area, I'm not familiar with the climate – I didn't realise what things would be like this time of year."
The last time we'd gone out together had been well into Sun's Dusk, and after still coming away with a nice haul, I'd simply assumed that Vvardenfell's climate was mild enough to make work as an apothecary feasible year-round. Assumed wrongly, it seemed. We were now past the halfway mark in Evening Star, Saturalia around the corner, and the cold had finally set in to the point where it had driven the plants into winter sleep. I'd barely pulled out my ingredient vials once this trip, and even the fact that Itermerel had rewarded me with the desired copy of his research notes couldn't quite chase the bitter taste out of my mouth. I could see my main stream of income drying up for the coming months and I didn't like it at all.
"Not your fault." Jamie sighed. "Although I could really have used the money."
"Well, I might still get a reward from Ranis for the notes. I'd split it, naturally." And if there wasn't one forthcoming – it wouldn't be the first time – I'd pretend there had been, I decided. I got some money from the Ta'agra lessons, and Habasi was scrupulous about rewarding me for the occasional missions she forced me into. Apparently she considered blackmail to be fine but forcing people to work without pay one step too far. In any case, although I could see some lean months ahead without the supplement from ingredient-hunting, I was still better off than Jamie. From what she said, Redoran liked to pay its members in compliments and warm feelings.
"Here's hoping." Jamie sighed. "I wish transport to the mainland was still open. Neminda says it's much warmer in Deshaan this time of year."
The longer I spent trapped on Vvardenfell by the quarantine, the more one lesson was driven home: you never knew what you had until it was gone. To think that once upon a time, I'd taken the ability to just board a ship and leave for granted.
"Speaking of our current public health crisis, we're almost at the gates. Got all your information ready?"
Jamie groaned.
In order to prevent the spread of Blight, the Ebonheart Grand Council had decreed that all travellers approaching a city should be screened for infection and immediately quarantined if there was any reason to suspect they might be ill. On the surface, I had to admit this sounded sensible. With a dangerous contagious disease purportedly spreading on the island, who wouldn't want to be careful?
The problem was that there were no good diagnostic spells for the Blight, meaning that the screening in question took the form of a series of questions. Have you encountered a Blighted animal in the last week? Have you had a fever? A rash? Nausea or vomiting? Have you had contact with anyone who showed these symptoms? And so on and so forth.
The questionnaire, rumour had it, had been devised by a Temple healer researching the Blight, one who lived in some remote town in the Grazelands. I believed it. The thing was thorough, professional, covered all the scenarios in which one might become infected, and showed absolutely no understanding of the implications of forcing every traveller to a bustling trade hub like Balmora to answer it in full. The last time I'd spent three hours waiting in line at the city gates, and by the time I finally made it to the Mages' Guild I'd been ready to send the author a letter begging him to please develop an abridged version.
Although...
My eyes narrowed.
I didn't actually see a line, this time. And although there was certainly foot traffic through the gates, although I could see that everyone was waved aside by the guards, it looked like they were allowed to continue after a brief talk, with no sheets of parchment or quill and ink visible anywhere.
Had the healer finally seen reason? Had the endless questionnaire lost its defining adjective?
It seemed we were about to find out.
At first, everything went as before, the gate guard waving Jamie and me aside. However, this time the Temple healer wasn't armed with notebooks and writing implements. And although I knew Telis by now, today he'd been joined by a woman, one in robes fancy enough to make clear she was no Temple priest. A woman who was completely unfamiliar-
That thought rang false. Those features definitely reminded me of something. Dark hair tied back in a braid, nose on the verge of being too big for the face, steeply angled wine-red eyes currently narrowed in concentration. No, I'd seen her before... but where?
Before I finished digging through the dusty crevices of my memory, the woman dragged me out of my thoughts. "They're clean," she said in Dunmeris.
At her side, Telis frowned. "I still don't understand how you're getting that out of a detection spell."
"It's not exactly a detection spell." The woman's voice had a tired air that told me this wasn't the first time she'd said this. Then she glanced over at me. "Did you want something?"
Her frown made the memory snap into place.
"Alfe Fyr?"
Even as the words escaped me, I began to feel less certain. The features looked right, but the woman I'd met back on Tel Fyr had seemed much... haughtier, more severe. And where had her glass armour gone?
And indeed, the woman was shaking her head. "Ah, that's my sister. I'm Beyte, pleased to meet you." She followed the introduction with a smile that made it extremely obvious that the same face could nevertheless look very different depending on who was behind it. At least, judging by my interactions with Alfe Fyr her face would probably crack in half if she tried any such expression.
"Adryn," I introduced myself. "Sorry to-" what was the word for 'eavesdrop' again? "-listen on you, I heard you talk about magic and was interested. I'm a member of the Mages' Guild, you see."
"Are you now," Beyte murmured, giving me a once-over. I frowned, fighting the urge to take a step back. Guild members weren't that rare, especially not in Balmora, after Ranis Athrys' recruitment strategies. I had no idea why that fact was making her look at me with so much interest, but I knew I didn't like it.
"Beyte Fyr's... family have been working on Blight research," Telis decided to join the conversation. "They've developed diagnostic spells, which she has kindly offered to teach." Judging by his sour expression, never to mention the bit of conversation I'd overheard, the teaching part hadn't been going all that well.
"I said I'd try," Beyte corrected with a sigh. "But I was never too hopeful of success. It's... at first sight, the spells look much like Mysticism, but they're different in the nasharduth. The base, the ground they build on," she expanded in response to my puzzled look. "They're very hard to teach to someone trained mainly in Mysticism, who has no knowledge of the other school."
My ears pricked. That...
Detection spells that weren't quite detection spells. That others couldn't learn. That could detect Blight.
Like I'd detected the Blighted guar, back when I was scouting with Gelduin for the caravan.
Could that really be a coincidence? Something deep within me was whispering no.
"Really?" I asked, doing my best to keep my voice casual. "I'm interested to hear more about it. I have... odd experiences with Mysticism, especially detection spells." What a shame I didn't know the words for 'learning disability'. How would I ever manage without this lack. I supposed I just wouldn't be able to mention it, how terrible.
Beyte gave me another long, considering look. "Well... why not. Not right now – I'm busy, and it looks like you are too." She glanced over at where Jamie was beginning to look impatient. "But if you'd like to meet over drinks tonight, I'd like that." She flashed me that bright smile again.
I did my best to respond in kind, although I was clearly missing some natural talent as far as cheerfulness went. "I look forward to it."
Which was why dusk found me in the South Wall Corner Club, nursing a glass of wick water. A few weeks ago I'd have protested vociferously at the suggested location, but time had worn me down. Not only had I had to come here multiple times to deal with Habasi, that very arrangement proved that when it came to evading the notice of the Thieves' Guild, the fox was already in the henhouse. By now, avoiding the place just seemed pointless.
Beyte herself didn't seem to mind the relatively criminal surroundings. "This is nice. Reminds me of the tradehouse in Vos."
She was still speaking Dunmeris. In fact, judging by how she'd ordered at the bar earlier, Beyte might be the first Morrowind native I'd met who wasn't completely fluent in Tamrielic. I supposed that growing up in a remote tower belonging to Morrowind's most famous wizard was probably a good way to avoid an Imperial-standard education. On my part, I was glad that my understanding of Dunmeris had progressed in leaps and bounds over the past month, otherwise this conversation would be awkward.
(Progressed so fast I myself was surprised at it, to tell the truth, especially given how many lessons I'd been forced to miss due to various misadventures. It almost seemed as though I was getting better at the language regardless of whether I was using it, except that that was obviously nonsense. I was hardly learning it in my sleep, after all.)
"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me," I said, quietly revelling in the way the words sped off my tongue with hardly a thought necessary.
"Oh, trust me, it was no trouble at all." This smile was new – narrower, almost a smirk. I wasn't sure how to interpret it. "And it's not like I had anything else planned tonight."
I had, actually. A shipment from the mainland guilds had somehow managed to make it to Balmora the other day, and I'd heard the latest edition of Annals of the Dwemer was among the books we'd been sent. Since I was trying to keep up my Dwemer studies in the hope that Edwinna would manage to make it back and rescue me from Ranis, I figured I should read through it. However, as said hope was dwindling every day and my brain wasn't particularly suited to the dense, jargon-ridden language of an academic journal — at least, that was how I interpreted the headaches it liked to punish me with when I tried reading one — I'd been unenthusiastic enough about the whole thing that I hadn't objected to postponing it a little.
Especially as what I'd overheard earlier had caught my interest.
"I'm curious about your diagnostic spells," I admitted. "You said they were Mysticism, but... not?"
"That's more or less accurate, yes. To understand the difference, you have to understand the history."
What followed was more of a lecture than a conversation, Beyte interrupted only by my occasional requests she clarify a word's meaning (technical magic-related vocabulary not being particularly covered in my Dunmeris lessons so far). I didn't mind. The subject matter would have been interesting even without my own difficulties with Mysticism, ones that turned what would otherwise have been a historical curiosity into something that might have a very direct impact on my own life.
Mysticism, Beyte explained, had been invented in Artaeum among the Psijics in the Merithic Era and brought to Morrowind at the time of the Chimer-Dwemer alliance (apparently my reading wasn't entirely useless as this rang a bell). What most people didn't know was that there had been a native Chimeris school providing a similar range of spells at the time which it displaced.
"My personal theory is that Soultrap tipped the balance," Beyte explained. "It's necessary to do anything beyond the crudest possible enchanting, and there was no equivalent in the Chimeris school. So people used Mysticism instead, and by now there's hardly anyone left who knows the old school. I learned from my father, who may be the last living master of it. It's a real pity, because especially in the area of Detection spells it outshines Mysticism. Detection spell, I should say. There's only one, it takes a lot less magicka than the Mystic varieties, has greater range and provides much more detailed information. Which is why it can be used to detect certain illnesses, when the Mystic equivalent cannot."
On hearing that I almost felt as though I'd been thrown back in time, once again in the Mages' Guild listening to Estirdalin explain Ledd's Syndrome. This version was distorted, Estirdalin's litany of weaknesses and inabilities transformed into the strengths and capabilities of a different spell school...
And yet they matched exactly. Every detail Beyte mentioned was far too familiar. I almost believed she was talking about me.
Except for the tiny, negligible detail of how on Nirn I could have learned an ancient, near-lost Chimer art from a standard instruction manual for Mysticism in Skyrim.
I needed more evidence.
"That's very interesting," I told her. "Are there any other areas of Mysticism where this school has that sort of expanded effect? I don't know, maybe... teleportation spells, or something?"
I tried to keep my voice innocent, but judging by the sharp look Beyte shot me she wasn't fooled.
"As it so happens," her voice was very dry, "yes. There's a more flexible equivalent to Recall and Intervention, although it's riskier than the Mystic spells."
Riskier was definitely one word for it. I had others.
"What's more useful is that it also offers a form of fixed-point teleportation. The Chimer used it to develop a teleportation network between their fortresses, but my father has expanded on it to also allow travel to other planes of existence."
And that was the first thing she'd mentioned that I couldn't match up to my own experience. Which, frankly, I was happy for, because side trips to Coldharbour or the Ashlands did not sound like my idea of a good time.
More to the point...
"Teleportation network between Chimer fortresses. You're talking about the propylon network, aren't you."
I was suddenly very aware of the pouch tucked into my shirt. After the number of times I'd been stranded in various places on Vvardenfell, I'd opted to keep the Hlormaren propylon index on me at all times. It wasn't an ideal escape route – Hlormaren was still half a day's journey through the Bitter Coast swamps from Balmora, and my expeditions in the area with Jamie had taught me it wasn't one I'd want to make alone – but infinitely preferable to my teleportation spell, which events had proven thoroughly should be viewed as an absolute last resort. Now, the crystal felt like it was burning straight through the leather into my skin.
The crystal of a kind Blowfish had been studying for years with no real progress, from the sound of it, until I'd come in and only touched the thing and found myself yanked away to Falasmaryon. A feat I'd been able to replicate, but he hadn't. Just as I'd been able to sense a Blighted animal with my Detection spell when no one else could. I'd never made the connection before, but now that Beyte had made it for me it seemed glaringly obvious.
Beyte who was looking at me, eyebrows raised, a narrow smile pulling at the side of her mouth. "Oh? Are you familiar with the propylon chambers and indices, then? Perhaps through, oh, I don't know... freeing an index from one of the storage rooms at Tel Fyr, a little over a month ago?"
All thoughts of Blight detection fled my mind. My breath wheezed out of my lungs as though I'd been punched in the stomach. Thankfully I hadn't been taking a drink, because I'd have spat it all over the table.
"Er... I have no idea what you're talking about?" I tried. Even I could tell it didn't sound particularly convincing.
"Oh? So you're saying it was a different red-headed girl belonging to the Mages' Guild? And you, I'm sure, just happen to have experience with propylon indices through some completely alternate means, and happen to have met my sister Alfe - who hardly ever leaves Tel Fyr – on some entirely different occasion?"
Beyte was still smirking, which I felt was just rubbing it in at this point.
I slumped in defeat. "All right, all right, you win. It was me."
The instant the words left my mouth, I realised that Beyte had absolutely no reason to keep this information from her father, and having the ludicrously powerful ancient Telvanni mage knowing who, exactly, rescued his captive and burgled his tower qualified as a bad thing. That thought made me jerk upright, words spilling from my lips. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- the Redorans dragged me along-" And now I sounded like a child trying to blame others. "I can give back the index? It's not like I wanted to steal it, we just needed to get out of there." I probably should've led with that.
Beyte lazily waved her hand. "Don't worry about it. If we'd wanted it back, we'd have done something about it already," she said, as though she expected the words to be reassuring instead of prime material for a new and horrifying series of nightmares. "Honestly, I'm more curious about you. Father always said unlocking the propylon indices using Mysticism would be extremely difficult. He even said he wasn't sure it was possible. You must be highly accomplished, to have achieved it."
Heat crawled into my cheeks at the compliment. The compliment that, my rising suspicions said, I didn't deserve, seeing as that little fact was another to set on top of the increasing mountain of evidence saying that what I'd used wasn't Mysticism at all.
Not that I planned to share that little theory with a near-stranger, not until I'd had some time to do a little more research on it. "Ah, well, it wasn't-"
Beyte didn't wait for my fumbling attempts to solidify into actual deflection. "Which makes you someone I'd like to get to know better. In more ways than one, especially as you're not exactly hard on the eyes." There was a strange light in her eyes. "I'm renting a room in the Eight Plates. Would you care to join me there, mysterious stranger?"
For a long moment, I didn't understand what she was asking. Join her? In her room? Why-
Wait a moment.
Wait a moment.
Earlier today, she'd said-
If you'd like to meet me for drinks tonight, I wouldn't be opposed.
All of a sudden, the events of the evening took on a whole new configuration, and it was a horrifying one.
"I'm- I'm sorry!" Was that squeak actually my voice? "I'm- very flattered, but-"
The words I'm taken almost escaped me. I snapped my mouth shut just in time, appalled at myself. Regardless of how I felt about Ervesa, we didn't have that sort of relationship – and I wasn't going to borrow her bad habits and lie about it.
Beyte's face fell. "I should've figured. The cute ones are always only interested in men."
That... wasn't actually it?
My intrinsic need to tell people they were being wrong waged silent war against the knowledge that doing so would not, in any way, improve matters. Alas, as Charon and Ingerte could have told you, knowing when to shut up was not one of my strengths. It could indeed be termed a critical weakness. My mouth opened-
A voice in Tamrielic interrupted us.
"Don't mind Adryn. She has a crush."
My head whipped round.
"Dralsi!" I hissed.
After our initial encounter in Nalcarya's shop, Dralsi and I had teamed up several times. It made sense – we were both new to the guild, both very good at what we did but not so in love with our skills that we were inclined to go without backup. We worked well together, and I'd come to appreciate her sardonic wit and confidence... had even been starting to think of her as something of a friend. Such a shame, such a real shame, that I could now obviously never speak to her ever again.
Beyte blinked in Dralsi's direction. I wasn't sure if she was more thrown by the sudden interruption or the change of language. "What is a... 'crush'?"
"She's in love with someone," Dralsi clarified, and then – horrifyingly – decided to illustrate. Learning a new language had given me a whole new appreciation for the usefulness of charades as a tool of communication, but there were limits. Making kissing faces was, I was sure, well beyond those limits. Any court would agree.
Yes, I'd definitely have to find a new partner, seeing that at this point I was honour-bound to murder her and hide the body.
Beyte laughed. "Ah, I understand," she said, then switched back to Dunmeris. "You should've said earlier. I had a nice time, but I wouldn't want to come between anyone."
Before I could untangle my tongue, she'd stood up and left. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, I'd really wanted to learn more about this ancient Chimeris equivalent of Mysticism – at this point it seemed undeniable that that must be what I was using, even if I still had no idea how. On the other, I didn't think I'd ever be able to speak to Beyte again without wishing for the ground to swallow me so strongly there was a real risk it actually would, or perhaps blushing to the point where I overcame Dunmer fire resistance and burst into flames. So for my own health and safety, it might be better to investigate this on my own.
For now, I buried my head in my arms, hoping that if I closed my eyes and wished hard enough I could just wipe the last fifteen minutes of my life from existence.
A hand patted my head. "There, there."
"I hate you so much," I told my sleeves. "One day, you'll get a crush on someone, and I will take my revenge."
"No, you won't," Dralsi said, "because if I do, I will deal with it like a mature adult and tell the person. As opposed to, oh, attempting to use badly-written fiction as a guide for what to do."
In retrospect, I could admit that borrowing some of Masalinie's romance novels hadn't been the smartest route of investigation. I'd decided to attack the problem of Ervesa and my feelings for her in the best way I knew, namely research. A variety of case studies of romantic relationships along with the lead-up should, I'd thought, allow me to triangulate: did any of them sound like what I was feeling? Could I see myself in any of the outcomes?
Alas, the books hadn't been nearly as helpful as I'd hoped. I hadn't been able to see myself in any of the characters, but that wasn't particularly conclusive. I was fairly sure nobody would be able to see themselves in those characters – or at least, if someone did I hoped they'd stay away from me. I liked people to have at least a drop or two of sense in their heads, to say nothing of the ability to sensibly prioritize, such as putting one's concerns about one's love life aside when in life-threatening danger. All these things were in rare, rare supply among Masalinie's books. To the contrary – some heroines seemed to have the uncanny ability to suck out all semblance of common sense from any room they entered.
I could have retreated gracefully from that particular dead end, with nobody but Masalinie knowing I'd ever even tried it, if Dralsi hadn't caught me. Caught me, figured out far more of the reasoning for what I was doing than I was comfortable with, and decided to tease me over it.
Well, right now she was giving me a concerned look. Perhaps she'd decided to have mercy on-
"Are you pining? I'll have to drop you as a partner if you are, you understand. I'm allergic to pining."
Apparently not.
"I am considering," I told her, "how best to hide the body once I snap and murder you."
Dralsi nodded. It looked almost approving. "Ah, that's perfectly fine. Partnership still on."
"Was there a reason you came over?"
"Well..." Dralsi drummed her fingers on the table. I'd make a mental note of it as a possible tell for nervousness, but honestly I suspected she was just doing it for the fun of it. "Habasi's been making noises about some brandy in Hlaalo Manor, but nothing firm yet. I think she's giving it a few more days to see if she can find an alternate source. I don't think she will, so I wanted to give you a heads up."
I rolled my eyes. "Black market broken down again, has it?"
From the perspective of the Thieves' Guild, the quarantine had had three main effects: a breathtaking variety of goods and supply chains were suddenly criminal, existing smuggling networks were thrown into absolute disarray, and a huge number of legitimate fishers and small-time traders had found their ability to make a living cut off at the knees and turned to smuggling for lack of other options. The result, as far as the regular supply of dubiously sourced goods was concerned, was complete chaos. Speaking as a former guild leader myself, trying to make sense of the mess and keep it halfway organised was both vitally important to keep the guild functioning and completely impossible. Luckily for me, I didn't have to care. I was a mere peon in this guild's hierarchy, one that was there under duress to boot. All I had to worry about was that our regular deficits and price spikes didn't affect anything I needed... like, oh, food. So far they hadn't, although everyone had been eating a lot of saltrice recently.
"No imported alcohol on any of the shipments for the entire last week. You'd think people were skooma addicts, with the way they carry on. I swear Closcius almost cried when the last bottle of flin ran out."
Dralsi wasn't exactly keeping her voice down. Over at the bar, the Imperial she'd named turned his head.
"Of course I did, my dear, because it is a tragedy. At the rate we're going, we're going to have nothing but mazte this time next week." Judging by the man's shudder, he considered this a fate worse than death. I let myself bask in my sense of smug superiority. Oh, the problems you avoided by making a rule not to voluntarily imbibe poisons outside of a professional context.
Perhaps Closcius could tell what was going through my head and decided to take revenge. At any rate, his next words brought me firmly back down to earth.
"Oh, and Adryn, since you're here – my friend was mentioning to me earlier that he has some work for you. You know the one, the historian."
Wonderful. Just what I needed to finish the night off.
For a glorious moment, I let myself imagine leaping up from my stool and running screaming into the wilderness, never to be seen again. Oddly, all the things I'd been so desperate to escape by the time I made it back to Balmora from Ghostgate suddenly looked more like a fond daydream. At least, cliff racers, ash storms, and pilgrims who weren't actually Daedric but doing a very good job pretending seemed downright blissful in comparison to the idea of Caius Cosades taking an interest in me once again.
"Work? Anything I might be interested in?"
Right. Dralsi was still sitting next to me, her eyes alight with curiosity. I should probably not run screaming, or at least wait until I was out of earshot.
"Ah... not really. Not our kind of business, you know, just- errands, and the like. I met the man when I was new to the island and really needed to make a bit of money, still help him out on occasion, you know how it goes."
Dralsi gave a slow nod. "I do. Although I admit it's been a while since I've had to stoop to that for me. Not since I joined the Guild. It's an easier way to make money, isn't it?"
My empty mug was, I decided, the most fascinating thing in the world.
I hadn't told anyone I was being blackmailed. Habasi had kept it quiet too, acting as though my presence were completely natural – as though we'd come to some friendly agreement with no threats hidden below the words. Didn't want anyone else thinking they could pull at her puppet's strings, I suspected. Fine by me, seeing as I didn't want that either.
For the most part, it seemed to be working. Probably helped by the fact that it seemed most of the guild didn't know me from the Emperor.
That had been an embarrassing realisation. It was so easy to think yourself the center of the universe, that all the things that were so important to you must be reflected to a similar degree in others' minds as well. I'd been so afraid of being recognised I'd feared to venture even a single step into the South Wall Cornerclub since my arrival. And although my fears had been borne out in the end, it turned out that Habasi had really been the only one I needed to worry about.
It made sense. The Thieves' Guilds were fairly autonomous, across different provinces especially. Most of the members of the Balmoran guild were Morrowind natives, occupied with their own politics, their own problems, and the guild war with the Camonna Tong I was doing my level best to keep from getting tangled up in. Some might have heard that there'd been an... incident at the Windhelm guild. Some hadn't. Some didn't know there was a Windhelm guild in the first place. (A few, I suspected, didn't even know where, or what, Windhelm was). And none except Habasi knew the details — particularly the name of the purported culprit.
Well. Habasi and their newest member.
I could feel Dralsi's eyes burning into me from where she stood. She'd proved when we first met that she knew the story. And although she hadn't shown any signs of wanting to use it against me so far, I didn't know if that would last if she discovered Habasi wasn't actually one of my allies. I liked Dralsi, but that didn't mean I trusted her. If she discovered that I hadn't come here sanctioned by the Morrowind guild, that I'd been making my living through entirely – all right, mostly – legal means until Habasi spotted me and decided I would make the perfect mouse to her cat...
"But I suppose we all do these things differently." Dralsi didn't seem to be bothered by my lack of participation in the conversation, seeing as she didn't sound annoyed. She sounded considering, which as just mentioned was a thousand times worse. Could I trade it for annoyed, I wondered? "Why don't run along and help your... historian. We can talk about Hlaalo manor another time."
"I. Um. I'll do that. Yes."
I felt Dralsi's gaze on my back all the way up the stairs.
The stench that wafted towards me when the rusty door squealed open made my lips curl. It was noticeable that they didn't have to move far to do so. No wonder - I suspected I'd been wearing an expression of extreme distaste ever since I'd left Cosades' home. I hadn't been at all happy to hear that he wanted me to visit Vivec even before I learned that the sewers would be involved.
In my defense, who in their right mind could blame me? The first time I'd visited Vivec, I'd been attacked by a serial killer. The second time, I'd been arrested. The third, the island had been put under quarantine and the city engulfed in a riot. At this point, the clear preponderance of evidence said that the place had it out for me and I should be avoiding it for everyone's health and safety.
Alas, Cosades hadn't agreed.
"Go find this Adhiranirr, Adryn," I grumbled. My voice echoed in the darkness, with that extra reverb that said there was water here. Well... a liquid, at any rate. Probably best not to ask exactly which one. "Ask her about the Sixth House, Adryn. No sense of basic safety precautions, that man."
And Jamie! I'd been delighted to find that she also had an errand to run in Vivec. My stalwart protector in the wilderness could, I figured, do the same in the island's most vindictive city. Alas, she'd cruelly abandoned me at the entrance to one of the Foreign Quarter's many little inns and taverns, showing no sign of repentance when I made my distress clear.
"I'm sure you can manage to avoid trouble for a few hours, Adryn. I believe in you."
I'd still been trying to find the words to express how her confidence in me, while flattering, was totally misplaced when she'd vanished inside.
A small voice told me that I'd have had to ditch Jamie anyway if I didn't want to explain what I was after, which would have led immediately to being asked why, exactly, I was running strange errands for a sugarhead on the wrong side of town. I ignored it. I was in no mood to be reasonable.
The only concession I was willing to make was that it was good for me that Cosades had said Adhiranirr would be somewhere in the Foreign Quarter. Not needing to leave the canton was good. Less chances of anything going wrong. Imagine, I thought, what would have happened if she'd been somewhere near the High Fane! Probably I'd have found myself held hostage by rebels. A sea monster would have attacked. That floating moon would have fallen from the sky. No, far safer if I kept my visit as short as possible and confined it to the Foreign Quarter.
...if only it hadn't been in the sewers. When a little discreet asking around had netted me that little piece of information, I'd almost turned around and marched straight back to the guild guide.
All right. Enough dithering. I raised one hand and let a magelight spark into existence above it, feeling very grateful that the word spark was purely metaphorical as magelights were not, typically, flammable. With the other hand, I pinched my nose shut. Thus armed, I stepped forward into the gloom.
It didn't take me all that long to find Adhiranirr, thankfully. Or at least, I highly doubted that there were any other Khajiit down here, much less ones who had, from the looks of it, made themselves a nice little hideaway.
One she wasn't too happy to have someone find, judging by her narrowed eyes and bristling tail.
"What does the Dunmer want?" The words came out as more of a hiss than speech.
She only calmed down a little when I explained my mission. "Caius is a good friend, a very good friend, and of course Adhiranirr wishes to help him... but this is not a good time, not at all." Her ears twitched anxiously.
I bit down on my first impulse to ask whether I could help her somehow. For one, it's never a good idea to give your altruistic impulses free rein. For another, the last time I'd tried to run an errand for one of Caius' informants it hadn't gone very well.
"I promise it won't take long," I said instead. "Just a few questions and I'll be out of your fur."
Adhiranirr hesitated. Her eyes, glowing green in the dim light, flicked back and forth between me and the darkness behind. Was she worried about someone sneaking up on us?
Finally, though, she gave in, tension seeping out of her frame as she sighed. "All right, Dunmer. But she must be quick about it."
"Co- Caius wanted to know if you'd heard anything about a 'Sixth House cult'?" I pronounced the phrase carefully. I had to admit I still didn't understand what Cosades was on about. Worse, for all that I was sternly trying to convince myself no good could possibly come of sticking my nose into the Blades' business - well, any further than said appendage had already been forcibly yanked into it against my will - I could feel curiosity starting to build within me. I'd never been much good at leaving a mystery alone.
In this case, I wouldn't have to, because judging by the way Adhiranirr's ears had perked up, she'd immediately recognised the phrase.
Before the quarantine, Adhiranirr told me, the Sixth House had come up as a name among smugglers. Some new player, who paid very well and wasn't connected with any of the known crime syndicates. And the smugglers in their employ were very tight-lipped about what was being transported.
"It is difficult to say what happened after the quarantine. Too much change, too many new players, the Dunmer understands? So Adhiranirr does not know for certain. But she is not a kitten, she has played this game for a long time. Sometimes, she has feelings about these things, and these feelings are usually right. And in this case, her feelings say that the Sixth House is still active. Still smuggling... something. What, you ask? Adhiranirr does not know, and Adhiranirr does not like that at all." Green eyes flashed. "Adhiranirr's friends in the Thieves' Guild do not know either. Adhiranirr likes that even less."
So Adhiranirr was a guild member. How handy that I was already being blackmailed and could, therefore, save time by skipping all the panic and frantic rifling through my memory to figure out whether I might have given myself away I'd have gone through otherwise. It was downright efficient. Maybe I should thank Habasi, really.
"The Thieves' Guild doesn't know, you say. Does the Camonna Tong?" My involuntary activities had led me to learn something about the major crime syndicates on the island. Possibly also something that I should be grateful for, seeing as it might be useful, except for the way I would be far happier if I never, ever needed to use that information.
Adhiranirr spat. There was a small splash as saliva hit... how about we just called it water. "Maybe they do. Maybe they do not. Adhiranirr does not know, because they do not speak to people like her." A pause. "Caius' friend, now. Perhaps they will speak to Caius' friend."
I felt heat rise in my cheeks, fueled by anger and humiliation twined together.
Adhiranirr had a point. The Camonna Tong was notoriously xenophobic. The native equivalent of the Thieves' Guild hated outlanders. My first impulse, of course, was to seize on that fact. Point out that according to the natives, I was an outlander too, I was also an unwanted imposition from the hated Empire...
Except that to people like the Camonna Tong, it wasn't the same. I was, I'd learned, not an outlander-outlander. Foreign-born Dunmer weren't viewed with quite the same distaste as other races - especially not foreign-born Dunmer who joined the Temple, asked about the traditions, started learning the language. I, I'd been told, was one of the good ones. Hardly an outlander at all.
Being called that had stung so much, my first days on the island. I'd never have imagined that not being called one could hurt even more. But the approval of people like that? Who'd smile on me, when Ajira — who was the second generation in her family born on the island, whose native language was Dunmeris, who kept her mother's ashes in a shrine and made sacrifices to her ancestors every week — would never have more than their contempt? I'd rather do without it.
(Had done without it, all my time in Skyrim. To tell the truth, I'd much rather be in Ajira's position, not so much due to moral conviction as because it was familiar.)
Adhiranirr was studying me closely. The dim light made it impossible for me to make out much more than the twin lamps of her eyes, but Khajiit had excellent night vision. I wondered what it was she saw on my face.
"If Caius' friend does not wish to ask the Tong, that is very understandable. But one way or another, Adhiranirr cannot help her any more. She has spent far too much time on this already. Adhiranirr has to deal with-"
In the distance, a horrible squeal as rusty hinges were forcibly brought into motion. Light flooded into the sewer tunnels, reflecting off the dark water to the point where it made me squint.
"Quarantine inspection! Everyone freeze!"
As Adhiranirr sunk into a miserable ball of fur in front of me, one thought bounced through my mind:
Cosades was definitely going to blame me for this.
"Do you think you're funny, novice?"
Cosades sounded coldly furious. He probably looked angry, too. I was doing my best not to find out for certain via making a thorough, detailed inspection of his floorboards.
"Not really, no." That one had two knotholes that almost made it look like it had eyes. "Sir."
"Do you think this some sort of joke? That the Empire's safety, the Emperor's will are laughing matters?"
"I have never felt less like laughing in my life. ...Sir." And that one was loose. I'd suggest he fix it but given that I was, in fact, standing in front of a spymaster right now it was probably hiding some secret documents or encryption keys or the like.
"Look at me while I'm speaking to you, novice."
Reluctantly, I shifted my gaze upward. Cosades did, in fact, look furious. I really hadn't needed to find that out first-hand, logical inference had been more than enough in my opinion.
"I would like to know," his voice was soft and deadly, "what you think you're playing at, getting my informant arrested."
"It's not like I did it on purpose!" My voice went high with indignation. "It would've been nice to know she had quarantine enforcement agents on her tail before I started asking around for her!"
Especially because I'd only narrowly avoided getting arrested myself. Again. My run of luck for Vivec was holding true. Between the attempted murder, the accusation of murder, the quarantine and now this, my theory that the city had it out for me was gaining more and more traction. I was sure that if we'd tried this in Balmora or Ald'ruhn, I'd have managed to meet with Adhiranirr without guards beating down the door.
"Ah... I did get a little information from her, before we got interrupted," I tried. "Would you like to-"
"Write it down. Send it to me later. If you don't get out of my sight now, I might do something I'll regret."
Well, that was one invitation I'd gladly take him up on. It wasn't as if I wanted to be here.
Despite that, I hesitated at the doorway. Write it down and send it to him later? There seemed to be so many things that could go wrong with that, starting with the potential of interception and going on from there. Never to mention that it meant remembering Cosades' existence for a longer period, something I for one wasn't keen on. A verbal report would be a lot easier for me in the long run, even if unpleasant in the short one.
"Are you sure you don't want-"
"Get. Out."
I fled, but not far. I felt off-balance, the day's events sloshing around in my stomach like meat that had gone off. I wanted to wait for them to settle before I went back to the Mages' Guild, where I'd have to pretend nothing at all was wrong.
It hadn't been my fault. Cosades had given me no information to go on and no hint that someone might be after her. Find Adhiranirr. Ask her about the Sixth House. Alduin's breath, he hadn't even told me she was a smuggler! How was I supposed to know to be careful?
It wasn't as if I'd shouted her name from the rafters, either. I'd been discreet! I'd been perfectly discreet! The guards would never have followed me to her if they hadn't already had a good idea of where she was. Chances were they'd have found her without me, even.
And yet, all the self-justification in the world froze and shattered before the image of Adhiranirr as I'd seen her earlier that day, face blank but ears flat and tail straight and bristling as the guards led her away. The accusation in her eyes.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
Weren't those the most useless words there had ever been? I should be ashamed to even be thinking them.
Footsteps brought me back to myself.
Absorbed in thought, habit had taken over. I'd let myself sink into an alcove on the far side of the alley where the flickering light from the torches didn't reach, hidden in shadow as though I were staking the place out. Whoever was approaching – and it was a fast tread on firm soles – wouldn't be able to see me.
I glanced up, hoping more for a distraction from my own thoughts than anything of interest-
My eyes froze on the approaching figure.
What was Jamie doing here?
My friend – my honourable friend, the one who'd quit the Imperial Legion and the Fighter's Guild because she thought they were engaged in underhanded behaviour, the one who'd not only voluntarily joined Redoran but actually liked it – was marching through the alley in the seedy part of Balmora, clearly familiar with the place, clearly with a destination in mind. What could she possibly-
Jamie walked up to Cosades' house, knocked firmly, then went inside.
I watched the door close behind her feeling as though someone had just taken my view of the world, picked it up and shattered it into pieces. Now I was left desperately trying to fit the shards back together, and the picture they were making looked quite different from before.
In truth, part of me had separated Cosades from the rest of my life on Vvardenfell. The whole thing was just too bizarre, and he and his tasks had no crossover with the rest of the people I knew. It was too easy to let myself forget all about him while I was working on Guild tasks, or gathering plants, or off on some terrible unwanted adventure in the wilderness, or talking with Erve-
absolutely no blushing-
-sa.
Too easy to treat the whole thing as some fever-dream, some grand mistake of the universe, up until the next time Cosades called for me. Except that Jamie had just walked right into that dream, except that she'd taken the barrier I'd set between Cosades' world and my actual life and smashed straight through it.
How. How could Jamie know Cosades?
The instant the question popped into my mind, I realised how stupid it was. Of course Jamie could know Cosades. Head of the Blades on Vvardenfell, he'd called himself – and, judging by the way I'd been sent his way, had the connections to back it up. And, of course, there were certainly more Blades on Vvardenfell than one reluctant alchemist who managed to fail every mission she was given.
I just hadn't been expecting Jamie, of all people, to be one of them. She hated deception. Why would she ever agree?
Unless... she hadn't. The way that I hadn't.
Jamie was new to the island. Had gotten there a few weeks before I had. And I remembered our conversation on the way back from Maar Gan. She'd said something... something about a past she was ashamed of. An unexpected opportunity. Wanting to turn over a new leaf in Vvardenfell.
And before that, there'd been something...
I rarely thought of my first days on the island these days. The months I'd been here felt like years. But now, something was coming back to me. The very first day, talking with – what had their names been? - the Bosmer with the ring and the Altmer shopkeep.
Oh. You're one of them.
I'd forgotten completely in all that followed... but they'd told me that I wasn't the only prisoner who was mysteriously released on Vvardenfell, all charges commuted to exile, given nothing but a few drakes and a package to deliver.
Really, I had to think less of Cosades. What sort of a demented recruitment strategy was this? Surely it would be preferable to have people join you voluntarily instead of strong-arming them into it? At least it shone another light on why he got so upset about my perfectly understandable runs of bad luck with his tasks – he must be so used to deliberate sabotage that he was seeing it around every corner.
Lost in thought as I was, I almost jerked in surprise when the door opened again. Jamie was, I knew, made of stronger stuff than I was. She also didn't attract trouble to nearly the same extent I did, a sign of clear favouritism on the part of the universe. In any case, it was no surprise that she was still holding herself with confidence, did not look nearly as brow-beaten as I was sure I did whenever I was forced to deal with Cosades. Still...
The light was bad, but I liked to think I knew Jamie well by now. I was willing to swear there was tension in her gait that wasn't there normally. The way the fingers of her left hand were drumming on her thigh was also new. Or... almost new. Thinking back, the motion put me in mind of the days when Jamie, Ajira and I had been trying to clear Varvur's name, the tension in the air.
No, Jamie was stressed. Was unhappy. And there was no way a little fighting would put her in that frame of mind – Jamie was like Ervesa in that that sort of thing barely fazed her. (Really, how had I managed to surround myself with these people?) Being forced into underhanded work against her will, on the other hand...
Those tapping fingers decided me. I waited two heartbeats, then crept after Jamie.
It was a little gratifying, to tell the truth. I'd been worried that prison and retirement would have left me rusty, but Jamie didn't turn her head once, didn't seem to notice she was being tailed at all. It was good to see those hard-won skills were still there.
But, of course, I wasn't actually here to trail her unnoticed. I just wanted to get us away from Cosades' doorstep.
"Hey," I called out to her in a low voice once I gauged us to have gone a safe distance.
I'd considered seeing if I could stretch my skills to tap Jamie on the shoulder without her noticing me. Judging by the way she whirled, hand clenching the hilt of her sword, it was good I hadn't let myself get carried away. That was one strong startle reflex she had there – best not to volunteer to be on the receiving end.
"Adryn! I didn't see- what are you doing here?"
The streets were fairly empty, but this still wasn't the place to discuss anything secret. "The same thing you were, I think," I said instead. Judging by the way her eyes widened, she got my meaning. "Can we talk?"
"I hope you don't mind if I invite myself into the conversation," a third voice said.
As Dralsi slipped out of the shadows, I took back every single good thing I'd thought about my stealth skills. Had she been tailing me? Had she been tailing me this entire time, without me noticing? That was incredibly embarrassing. Ingerte would have had me practicing with the street urchins.
"You need to work on your situational awareness, kid," she told me, because clearly I needed the extra dose of humiliation. Then she turned to Jamie. "Dralsi, from Imperial City. You're... Jamie, right?"
"Jamexa, of Kvatch. Oathman of House Redoran. Yes." Jamie's words were polite, but her hand hadn't left the hilt of her sword and she was glancing back and forth between me and Dralsi, eyes narrowed. I tried to shoot her a look saying yes, I do know her but I have no idea what she's doing here. Judging by the way Jamie's eyebrows bunched together in confusion, telepathy remained well out of my reach as a skill.
"From what I've seen so far, I suspect the three of us are in a very similar situation." While I was trying to fit that into my worldview, Dralsi continued. "I'd like to compare notes. Is there anywhere we can go where we definitely won't be overheard?"
For lack of other options, we ended up at Hlormaren.
Weeks of Jamie and me travelling there regularly had resulted in some changes to the place. Although the propylon chamber itself was difficult to make comfortable due to the giant, humming crystal which dominated the chamber, there was a small dome only a hundred or so yards away on Hlormaren's roof housing a similarly-sized room — this time without the unpleasant magical effects. Inspired by the scattered pilgrim and scout shelters like the one we'd stayed in on the way back from Maar Gan, Jamie and I had gone to some effort to make the place homey. Cushions on the floor along with a board on barrels served as a makeshift table and seats, a shelf along the back wall held sacks of saltrice, wickwheat, guar jerky, a jar of fermented kwama egg and a few sachets of spices. One day a few weeks ago we'd even assembled a small hearth, using a filled common soul gem Jamie had turned up with and the spells I'd looked up to lay an enchantment which funneled the smoke into a small pipe to the outside. A pile of blankets and several mattresses even allowed for a comfortable overnight stay — and given the hour, we'd probably be taking them from where they were currently rolled up on a crate. All in all, apart from the location I thought it was a quite respectable base by now.
Dralsi, however, was more focused on the details of how we'd gotten here than where we'd ended up, judging by the way she'd whistled when the propylon chamber coalesced around us. "Nice, kid," she was saying now as Jamie set the padlock aside and eased open the door to the dome. "I can think of a thing or five to do with a trick like that."
This was the most impressed she'd sounded since we met. The fact that it wasn't actually for my professional skills should probably have been a relief – after all, I was trying to be retired – but instead made my stomach squirm. I'd worked hard for years to be a good thief, and I hadn't quite realised how much Dralsi's supercilious attitude smarted until she dropped it.
"Wait until we've had to hike through the swamp to get back to Balmora," I told her to distract myself from my conflicted feelings about my thwarted career change. I was hoping that if I ignored them long enough, they'd just go away on their own. "It's a lot less impressive the third time you fall into a mud puddle." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jamie nodding emphatic agreement.
Dralsi clicked her tongue. "All right, the fact that it's one-way is tricky. Don't suppose you could build one closer to town?"
I stared at her. "Even if I knew how, where would you expect me to put it?" I waved vaguely at the door to remind her of the place we'd just vacated. The large chamber... the giant crystal... the hum that would wake the dead... "We can't even find a place to have a private conversation!"
Which I had to admit was getting old. Staying in guild dorms had worked as a temporary measure, but by now I'd gone months and months without any real space to myself. I was actually starting to miss my cell in Imperial Prison, a clear sign that the lack of privacy was leaving me vulnerable to Sheogorath's whispers.
"Speaking of private conversations," Jamie said, "I'd still like an explanation."
Dralsi looked at me, eyebrows raised. The message on her face was unmistakeable: you're the one who knows her. You start.
I cleared my throat, suddenly nervous. My imagined barrier between my real life and Cosades' demands had proven far more fragile than I expected today, but this was what I knew would shatter it irrevocably.
But it was too late to turn back. If I'd wanted to bury myself in denial, I should've pretended I never even saw Jamie.
"I never told you the full story of how I ended up on Vvardenfell." I stared Jamie in the eye. "I have a suspicion you'll find it familiar..."
Some time later found the three of us lounging around the makeshift table drinking hackle-lo tea out of mismatched mugs and my suspicion proven correct. Like me, both Jamie and Dralsi said they had been released from prison in Cyrodiil to Vvardenfell, been given a package for Caius Cosades, and promptly inducted into the Blades on delivery. Like me, the two of them had decided to go with the missions for now, until they were more secure on the island and had a better idea of what was going on.
"This can't be their standard recruitment strategy, though," I complained. "Aren't the Blades also the Emperor's bodyguards? He'd have been killed by some disgruntled ex-convict years ago."
"It's not," Jamie said. "There's an application process with stringent criteria. My step-father told me that he tried to join when he was younger, but didn't make the cut."
"Well, now you can tell him that his mistake was not getting himself arrested."
Familiar with Jamie's sense of humour by now, I'd thought it would make her smile. Instead, her lips thinned for a moment, a muscle in her cheek twitching. What-
...Jamie had never mentioned what terms she and her family were on these days, had she. If she'd been in prison (even if I still found that hard to imagine and suspected a miscarriage of justice somewhere)... anyone who wanted to join the Blades was probably not of a particularly criminal bent...
I clearly hadn't inserted my foot into my mouth in far too long, seeing as I wasn't used to the taste anymore.
"It's got to be some special project," Dralsi, who'd been ignoring the byplay, interrupted. She set her mug down with a decisive thud. "Something for which they need expendable bodies to throw at the problem. I wouldn't even be surprised if Cosades was expendable, some minor agent who's loyal and competent enough to be our handler and play Blades commander, but who wouldn't be missed if one of us spills the beans." She sounded intrigued, almost approving, as though she were taking notes for her own career as the head of a spy agency.
Also, if Cosades qualified as a minor, expendable agent, I'd hate to meet the actual head of the Blades.
I wasn't the only one who'd noticed Dralsi's tone. Jamie was staring at her, eyes narrowed. "You almost sound like you don't mind."
Dralsi glared back. "Of course I mind! I just don't see the point in getting upset about it. It is what it is, and one does have to admire the cleverness of it."
Judging by Jamie's expression, she did not, in fact, admire the cleverness of it. The most positive emotion she had to bear regarding it was annoyance, and it went steadily downhill from there.
And I was beginning to think the same went for her opinion of Dralsi as well.
My first reaction was surprise. Jamie had struck me as a person reasonably easy to get along with. My primary piece of evidence for this was that she'd quickly made friends with me, and I'd been told that my personality was something of an... acquired taste. Only able to be appreciated by true connoisseurs. But on second thought...
Today, Jamie had been strong-armed into running dubious errands for Cosades, spied on, and finally blindsided by Dralsi and me. My blunder just now wouldn't have helped matters either. It was hardly a surprise if she was in a bad mood, and not inclined to open up to newcomers. Dralsi, on the other hand, I knew from past discussions shared my dislike of the general Redoran phenotype. I could see her beginning to dismiss Jamie as just another muscle-bound idiot whose brains had been rotted by armour polish fumes.
Although I had sympathy for both chains of thought involved, there was the minor, pressing detail where it looked like these were my allies in surviving whatever the Blades were planning to do with us. If they went for each other's throats on first meeting, my chances of doing so went down dramatically.
In short, it looked as though I would need to play the peacemaker. I hoped that at some point in the future these two would appreciate my sacrifice, considering all my natural skills and inclinations lay in the opposite direction.
"That's all well and good," I said loudly, "but can we maybe focus? The Blades may consider us expendable but I, for one, would like not to be expended. This is an unfortunate misalignment in our goals which arguing isn't going to help deal with. I suggest we compare notes on what Cosades has had us doing to try to figure out what they're after and how to survive it."
"That sounds like a good idea." Judging by the guilty glance Jamie shot me, my point – that this was not the time to start a feud with someone – had landed. "I'll start. Cosades asked me to talk to an Argonian in the Vivec Foreign Quarter named Huleeya, for information about the Nerevarine cult-"
The rest of what Jamie said was lost in pain.
After an eternity of doing my best just to breathe through it, eyes squeezed shut, I regained enough control over my body to bring my hand up to my face. Carefully probing my eyebrow, my cheek, my closed eye revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Apparently there was not, in fact, a white-hot dagger stabbing through my eyeball into my brain. I informed my body that it could therefore stop pretending there was. It ignored me.
Through the agony I'd been vaguely aware of Dralsi and Jamie continuing to talk, voices distant and distorted. Now, they stopped.
"Adryn? Are you all right?"
Slowly, far too slowly, the pain began to subside. I opened my eyes to see Jamie's face not far away, creased in concern.
"Adryn?"
"Sorry," I managed. "Headache. Came on suddenly."
The frown deepened. "I didn't realise you were still getting those... you should really see a healer."
"I did. Couldn't find anything. Said maybe it was stress."
I heard Dralsi snort. "Oh, what a strange theory. I have no idea why you could possibly be stressed right now."
Clearly, a few weeks and the odd robbery hadn't been enough to actually get to know Dralsi. At least, I'd most definitely underestimated the depths of her cruelty. Why else would she be trying to make me laugh in this state?
"Anyway, we haven't heard what missions Cosades sent you on, Adryn."
Jamie, on the other hand, was a kind and generous soul, seeing as she was clearly trying to distract me. I jumped on the opportunity.
"Ah... he wanted me to get information from people, twice. But it didn't work?" I could feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Even considering the context, it was embarrassing to admit to my failure. I hated looking incompetent. "The first was for this man at the Fighter's Guild, Ha-something. Notes for..." I wrinkled my nose. There was a blank space where the word should be in my memory, and reaching for it woke the fading pain of my headache. "Some cult? I don't remember exactly. Probably got driven straight out of my mind by what followed. He wanted me to get him a Dwemer cube from Arkngthand in exchange for the notes, and when I did – at great risk to life and limb, I'll have you know! — he complained that I drew too much attention doing it!"
"Wait a minute," Dralsi said. "Dwemer cube. Arkngthand. That thing with Boss Crito, that was you?"
In lieu of answering, I let out a long, heartfelt groan, then picked up the mug I'd set down earlier and took a long drink of tea to make clear that I was not available to answer questions.
"Why do I get the impression I don't want to know?"
"Because you don't," I told Jamie. "Not that there is anything to know. Nothing happened. Collective hallucination. Probably drugs involved. The important thing is that I didn't get Cosades' notes. Everything else is just... unimportant details."
"Details," Dralsi said in a tone of awe. "You realise Omani wants the skin of the person responsible decorating her wall? Not that you're at any risk, given that for some reason she seems to think it was a Telvanni? You have got to tell me this story, I insist."
"Maybe later," I said, meaning maybe never. "More to the point, the second task Cosades sent me on was... a little more successful! At least I got some information out of Adhirranirr before she... got... arrested. In the middle of our conversation." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dralsi mouth the word arrested. I decided to quickly explain the actual content of what Adhiranirr had told me, lest we get sidetracked. "Cosades wanted to know about something called the Sixth House..."
After I'd related what Adhiranirr had told me, Dralsi no longer seemed to want to interrogate me about the details of my misadventures. Instead, she looked thoughtful. "Sixth House... haven't heard of them, but it's not like I've got much rank in the guild, or like I deal with the procurement side of things."
I saw Jamie's eyes narrow. I suspected she was rapidly putting together the two and two of Dralsi's mention of the guild, never to mention procurement, and coming up with a very logically sound four. Ordinarily I would never stand in the way of someone's endeavours in mathematics, but I was worried that she would get carried away by her successes in the realm, attempt to add on the two of Adryn and Dralsi know each other from somewhere, and end up with that most dire of outcomes: six.
All of which meant I really needed to distract her.
"What about you, Jamie? Does it ring any bells?"
Judging by the way Jamie blinked at me, I'd successfully diverted her very dangerous train of thought. "Actually, the informant Caius sent me to had some more information. He's interested in Morrowind's history, and although he'd never heard of a Sixth House cult before, he said the Sixth House is another name for the former House Dagoth, which was destroyed after a war in the First Era."
Now it was my turn to frown. Dagoth, Dagoth... I'd definitely heard that before, where had I heard that before...
"The most famous member, of course, being Dagoth Ur. Also known as the great evil sleeping beneath Red Mountain."
That. That was where I'd heard that before.
"Evil sleeping beneath Red Mountain?" Dralsi's brow wrinkled. "Isn't that a superstition?"
The events of my recent visit to Ghostgate brought themselves forcibly back to my mind, an experience I could have done without. The look I shot Dralsi was so withering it would make a dead tree do its level best to droop and discard all the leaves it no longer had. I almost thought I could see her mug shudder in fear. "See, I can tell immediately that you've never been to the Red Mountain area. Because no one, absolutely no one, could come away from there and think there isn't something horrifyingly wrong with that place. To say nothing of that whole business with..." my eyes widened in realisation- "the... statues!"
"Exactly my thought when I heard that," Jamie said. "According to the Temple they're definitely tied to him in some way, and the fact that people are deliberately distributing them sounds a lot like a cult. I mean, consider what happened to Varvur-"
"Excuse me?" Dralsi interrupted, voice demanding. I got the impression she wasn't used to people talking past her. "What statues? Who is Varvur? What are you talking about?"
Jamie was the one who recounted the whole thing — the strange statue that had apparently driven Varvur Sarethi to murder, our attempts to track it down which led us to Galtis Guvron, his accomplice Hanarai Assutlanipal and her horrible cellar, my theft of another statue and what resulted, and finally Ervesa swooping in to take care of it. Jamie went into enough detail in the process that I found myself embarrassed on account of my own memory. True, I'd done my level best to put those events out of my mind, but I was the one who'd found Varvur and agreed to help him, never to mention the one who'd had a terrifying close call. How was it that Jamie had so many more details to hand?
"Afterwards, Athyn asked me to look into the matter," Jamie explained, unknowingly answering my question. The fact that she raised another in the process — she called him Athyn? — was neither here nor there. "There's an official Temple investigation, of course, but I think he wanted another pair of eyes on it."
"Doesn't trust the Temple, I take it." There was a cynical twist to Dralsi's mouth, and I couldn't help but notice that she'd phrased that as a statement, not a question.
Jamie shook her head. "No, that's not it. I think it's more... he knows the Temple will focus on the connection to Dagoth Ur, because that's most important in the broad picture. But Athyn thinks it's too much of a coincidence that one of the statue recipients was his son. He wants to know if his family was targeted specifically, by a political enemy... or if whoever is behind this is trying to cause chaos by aiming at the Redoran leadership." She frowned. "He also really wants to know how they got into the city in the first place. Apparently Ald'ruhn has stringent inspections on incoming wares — something about differing laws leading to contraband coming in from Hlaalu regions — and nothing like this was logged."
Dralsi's eyes met mine as we shared the unspoken thought: there was always a way around customs checks. After all, any good smuggler-
My eyes widened. "The smugglers!"
Jamie glanced at me. "Oh?"
"Adhiranirr said they were smuggling things for the Sixth House, right? What if they're smuggling those statues?" It was a jump, but the more I thought about the more sense it seemed to make. "From what we learned from those two back then, they were really trying to distribute them unnoticed in Ald'ruhn. They have to come from somewhere, obviously aren't going through legal channels, and..."
My voice trailed off. This is the thing about epiphanies — they end up dragging you along, like little children excitedly pulling at your hand, and you end up so focused on keeping your feet that you're not paying attention to where they're leading you until it's already too late. As in this case, when I found myself staring at a conclusion that I really, really didn't want to say out loud.
Dralsi, merciless woman that she was, did it for me. "And there's no reason to believe this was a one-off. This Ervesa said they'd seen the same statues elsewhere? If the same thing is happening in other cities, or if there were more agents in Ald'ruhn than the two you caught, it makes sense that they'd need a smuggling ring large enough to be noticeable to support it."
"So you think I'm right?" This situation was cruel and unfair, I decided. Ordinarily, someone admitting you were right was something to revel in. Especially when it was someone as hard to impress as Dralsi! But right now I couldn't enjoy it at all. In fact, despite all my natural inclinations, I found myself outright hoping that she'd find something I'd overlooked, some mistake I'd made.
But Dralsi was nodding. "I think it's likely they're also smuggling other things used by this... conspiracy, cult, whatever it is... but yes. I don't know how else we could explain it."
Cult. Conspiracy. I wrapped my arms around myself as a violent shiver took me.
The truth was that I'd done my best not to think about what had happened, with our investigation, Hanarai Assutlanipal's nightmare of a cellar and the even greater nightmare — literally, even — of the ash statue I'd taken from there. Despite the fact that looking at it now the evidence pointed elsewhere, I'd let myself dismiss it as a one-off. The work of some deranged mind, which we'd managed to put a stop to. And if there were any loose ends, the Temple would handle them. No need for me to worry, to face the horror of those days again — I could leave it forgotten in the past where it belonged.
(The fact that I'd been arrested for murder immediately following had probably helped in making that break.)
Now, I was thinking about it. There was every reason to believe Guvron and Assutlanipal had been part of a larger organisation, one that was still at large. One that was apparently doing very well at the "secret" thing if my blundering into them was in fact the first time the Temple had caught wind of them.
I was feeling cold. More tea, I decided, would help. I picked up the pot and refilled mine and Jamie's cups, noting that Dralsi's was still full. Come to think of it, she hadn't sounded particularly enthusiastic when I'd suggested the drink. I decided that as one of my lone allies in this terrifying world filled with dangerous conspiracies, I could forgive her the crime of bad taste.
Although by Jamie's tale, there was at least one other person who wanted to know what was going on here, and he was a lot better positioned to do something with the results than any of us were. "No wonder Athyn Sarethi wants you to investigate," I told her.
But my Redguard friend was frowning. "Athyn makes sense, agreed. What I'm wondering is why the Blades are interested."
The Blades?
Right.
I fought down a blush as I realised that with our digression into the statues and the events around them, I'd entirely forgotten why we were here in the first place. "Maybe the Empire is worried about this business with the statues as well?"
Dralsi raised an eyebrow. Everything about her face told me that she thought I was being unbearably naive. My cheeks warmed further. "If they only wanted to help with a potentially dangerous cult, they wouldn't do it like this. Our local Knight of the Dragon would approach the governor of Vvardenfell, maybe. If the Blades were to be involved, they'd use their actual operatives, their actual covert arm. Not... whatever this is." She gestured to encompass the three of us. "Dragging people like us into it doesn't just mean they want someone expendable, they want someone they can disavow. If it all goes to Coldharbour in the end, they want to be able to say they weren't involved, that Cosades was rogue or delusional and none of us were Blades. Whatever they want to do with us, it's something they think the people here would be angry about if they knew. And..."
That hesitation was uncharacteristic. "And?"
"If they're willing to risk the whole operation by dragging in random people like us? They think there's a high chance they'll need to do that."
Well, this just got better and better all the time.
Judging by the expression on Jamie's face — rather as though she'd just taken a big gulp of milk only to discover it had gone off — she felt the same. "Well, now I'm happy I didn't tell Cosades anything that I was doing for Athyn," she said. "I wasn't thinking about any of that — honestly, I was mainly just frustrated with the man and being unhelpful as a result — but..."
Dralsi nodded. "If we want to get out of this in one piece, we need the information advantage. From the questions he's been asking, it's not clear if Cosades has made any of these connections. Which is why I hope you won't mind keeping us in the loop about what you find out?"
"And let us know if we can help at all," I chimed in, ignoring Dralsi's dirty look. Not only was this in all our interests, it was hardly fair to expect Jamie to do all the work here. Especially when... "I think the two of us have some skills that could be useful, considering."
It seemed that some point in the last hour Jamie had, in fact, had enough time for mathematical deliberations. Or perhaps my ill-judged last statement had given her the missing piece. In any case, judging by the dawning realisation visible when she looked at me she'd now successfully reached the conclusion about what, exactly, Dralsi and I had in common which I'd been hoping she'd avoid. "I'll keep that in mind. And..." A moment of hesitation. "I was considering doing the opposite — telling Athyn about Cosades. I take it the two of you are... involved in things... that mean you'd prefer I didn't?"
Her tone was very dry. Worse, I could read the disapproval beneath it. I stared into my hackle-lo, refusing to look up at anyone, trying to convince myself that Jamie was just another armour-bound air-brained lummox bleating about honour, one whose opinion I didn't need to care about. Alas, I knew her too well for that by now.
"You shouldn't, but not because of our affiliations," Dralsi answered, sounding entirely unapologetic. "It's a bad idea. Keep in mind that even if you trust this Athyn, it won't stop at him. The Blades meddling in Morrowind affairs like this? He'll have to inform others — the head of Redoran, the governor of Vvardenfell, all the way up to the King of Morrowind. He won't have the final say. And right now, any investigation would end badly for us."
She didn't expand on that statement, but she didn't have to. I'd protested, of course, but in the end I'd moaned, dragged my feet, and done what Cosades had told me to. Due to fear, not any sort of loyalty, but those were the sort of minor details that were easily lost when angry people started asking pointed questions. Even if I went with Jamie to Sarethi now, they would ask why I hadn't done so from the start. No, an investigation would find me complicit.
And not just me.
Judging by the stubborn set to her jaw, Jamie was less convinced. "So what's your suggestion? You said yourself the Blades expect this to come out. The longer we wait, the worse it'll be once it does."
Dralsi rolled her eyes. "Of course we shouldn't just follow orders blindly like good little sheep, that goes without saying. But it'll look much better for us if we can give them something a little more solid than one expendable Blades agent interested in obscure cults. And with luck, once we work out what the Blades want, we'll find a way to put a stop to this or at least get ourselves out of it without needing to go running to anyone at all. I mean, suppose we get some good blackmail-"
Dralsi was leaning forward, eyes sparkling, hands darting to and fro as she explained her brilliant plan. Despite the very different appearance, for a moment she reminded me of no one so much as Ingerte, in what I'd pinpointed long after the fact as the moment when everything started going so very horribly wrong.
I have an idea for how we can get that twit in Riften off our backs...
"Blackmail," I said, "has a tendency to backfire." My voice sounded distant, as if it was coming from a million miles away. "You're driving them into a corner, see. And cornered people are capable of anything."
Dralsi gave me a very thoughtful look. "I'll keep that in mind. My overall point stands, though. If we figure out what the Blades are up to, whatever we do with that information we'll be in a better position than just throwing ourselves on the mercy of some noble."
Jamie's mouth twisted. There was a long moment of silence in which her eyes just flickered back and forth, Jamie clearly deep in thought. Finally, she sighed. It was a clear sound of surrender; Dralsi's lips twitched into a smile when she heard it.
"All right. Let's do it your way."
After that point, the rest of the discussion went a lot more smoothly. It didn't take all that long until we'd more or less come to an agreement: all of us would keep each other informed on what Cosades asked of us. I would help Jamie with her investigations into the Sixth House. (Figuring out how to do that while simultaneously avoiding her in order not to have to deal with her questions about my criminal entanglements would be awkward, but I was sure I'd find a way.) Dralsi, in the meantime, would look into this other cult Cosades was interested in. I was embarrassed to admit that I hadn't fully caught the details of that one as by the time we got around to discussing it, I'd developed another headache. I'd opted not to ask her to repeat herself, seeing as by that point our little council of war had gone on for quite some time and I was more than ready to end it — I could fill in the gaps some other time.
Besides, the bits I had understood before the pain made me lose focus were that the cult in question was an obscure one common among some of the more isolated Velothi tribes and nowhere else, and neither Dralsi nor Jamie had heard of them being involved in anything remotely like what the Sixth House was up to.
No, I thought as we laid out the matresses while I did my best to ignore Jamie's penetrating looks. Whatever cult Dralsi was looking into — I thought it started with an N? — it sounded Cosades had wound up on a sidetrack, possibly misled by some inaccurate information. If you asked me, mine and Jamie's side of the whole thing was far more likely to be relevant.
Chapter 28: Chapter Twenty-Six
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Noon the next day saw me back in the Balmoran Mages' Guild, curled up next to the hearth in the guild kitchen to warm up from the long walk back to town. Dralsi and Jamie had already left on their own errands, Jamie telling me that she'd let Neminda know I was interested in joining their investigation and that I should speak with her at my next opportunity. Jamie had in fact suggested I come with her and we speak to Neminda together, but I'd quickly invented business in Balmora to get me out of that. Judging by the long, calculating glances she'd been sending me, my friend hadn't forgotten yesterday's revelation of my criminal ties, and it had only been Dralsi's presence keeping her from questioning me. That was a conversation I planned to avoid.
A little voice told me that, given that Jamie was in fact a close friend, I would have to speak with her alone again at some point. Especially since we were going to be working together. I ignored it with fierce concentration.
Currently, though, this left me in the Balmora guild with — contrary to what I'd implied to Jamie — nothing in particular to be doing. For once, none of my different masters was exhorting me to go do something completely unsuitable for a noncombatant alchemist. I could let the heat of the banked hearth-fire soak into my bones, sip at my tea, and relax.
Or maybe Ajira would like some help in the lab? It'd been too long since we'd been able to have a proper experimentation session.
Unfortunately for my plans, Ranis Athrys got there first.
"Apprentice. A word, if you please?"
It was truly amazing how a single sentence could serve to alter one's mood. I hadn't been precisely happy beforehand — warm fire or no, something about the realisation one has inadvertently become entangled in a shadowy conspiracy has that effect — but content enough with the plan the three of us had put together, never to mention enjoying my free time. But on hearing Ranis' voice my shoulders slumped, my stomach sank, gloom settled on me like a shroud. I bid the warmth of the fire a sad farewell as I got up to follow her. We'd only just been on our way to becoming friends, I thought, and here Ranis was cruelly tearing us asunder.
If I'd had any hope that Ranis had snagged me in order to, say, congratulate me on what an excellent job I'd been doing as her dogsbody and let me know I'd no longer be required as such, it died shortly after she closed the door to her small office. With, in fact, the words, "I have a task for you."
At some point, I thought, I should read up more closely on the laws governing Morrowind — in particular, the ones for maximal allowed working time. There had to be something in there saying one could not send a poor apprentice back out into the harsh world barely a day after she'd arrived from your last mission, when she'd spent the entire intervening time forced into service as an involuntary Blades agent then discussing their shared plight with others in the same situation. Something in there must say a guildmaster must have mercy on such a suffering apprentice. Anything else would just be inhumane.
Alas, in a terrible oversight I'd only glanced over the Morrowind legal system and, in the admittedly well-founded belief that it would have more relevance to my life, spent far more time reading up on punishments for theft than worker's rights. As such, without solid evidence on my side I could hardly protest right now.
"What do you want me to do?"
My tone was surly at best, but it didn't seem to bother Ranis any. At least, that was how I interpreted the way the side of her mouth quirked into what I suspected was the closest thing to a smile I'd ever seen on her face. (Would it fall off now?)
"We've become aware of a necromancer in Maar Gan. I'd like you to deal with her on behalf of the Guild."
Wait.
Wait.
Necromancy had been banned by the guild throughout Tamriel — a fairly recent and, judging by the gossip, controversial decision in other provinces. Over here in Morrowind, it hadn't been necessary. I might not have familiarized myself with employment law, but it hadn’t exactly been hard to learn that in Morrowind, necromancy had been illegal since long before Tiber Septim first dreamed of conquest.
More than illegal, in fact. Necromancy was a capital crime.
Which meant...
"When you say 'deal with'," I probed, "what exactly do you want me to do?"
Ranis threw me a scathing glance from where she sat enthroned behind her desk. "Even an outlander should be able to answer that question themselves." A pause. "Kill her, obviously."
And that was exactly what I'd been afraid of. So much so that I barely even noticed the jab at my outlander status.
"Me?" My voice had gone high and tight with outrage. "What, exactly, about me looks like a killer for hire? Go put out a bounty at the Fighter's Guild!"
All semblance of a smile had long fled from Ranis' face. "The guild," she intoned, "is not here solely for your benefit, apprentice. Sometimes all guild members must be willing to take on even tasks they dislike for the good of us all. Anything else is selfishness we will not tolerate."
I opened my mouth, mind racing to try to find the right place to start untangling that mess of an argument — equating an unwillingness to murder someone to selfishly abusing guild resources, I ask you — but Ranis wasn't done yet.
"You are to take care of the necromancer Tashpi Ashibael, apprentice. If you refuse, I will have to reconsider your membership."
All my arguments fled my mind. Because-
Tashpi Ashibael.
I was terrible with names, but I knew that one was familiar.
Tashpi Ashibael. In Maar Gan...
A face slipped to the front of my mind. Dunmer, dark with curly black hair and a bright smile on her face.
The healer. The one I'd met during my time stranded at the Temple, who'd helped during the ash storm and had also been part of the search party for that stranded trader. We'd promised to try to meet for a gossip session and an exchange of alchemy tips the next time she was in Ald'ruhn. It hadn't happened so far, but given how much I'd liked the woman I hadn't given up hope.
Necromancers, or so the Temple would have it, were cunning creatures capable of disguising their evil so well even their closest friends didn't know anything was wrong. Secret necromancers, I'd been told, were a plague on society and needed to dealt with with extreme prejudice when found.
And yet.
If Tashpi was a dangerous necromancer, I'd eat both my shoes and follow it up with my belt for dessert.
"Well, apprentice?" Ranis was still trying to stare me into submission.
I decided to give her what she wanted.
"All right. I'll do it."
Ranis looked satisfied. How lucky for me that she couldn't read minds, as otherwise she'd undoubtedly be feeling very differently.
There was no way Ranis would take anything I had to say about the matter seriously. The most putting up a fight and claiming Tashpi's innocence could achieve would be for Ranis to give up in disgust and ask someone else to take the job on. Maybe pay for a Fighter's Guild bounty, the way I'd suggested. I'd love to believe that of course anyone, on seeing Tashpi, would stop and ask some pointed questions about what exactly this woman had done to deserve death, but I wasn't actually that naive. It was far too likely that whoever got sent out in my place would stab first and ask questions never.
No. Someone needed to keep Ranis from sending anyone else, and someone needed to warn Tashpi. It seemed the universe had volunteered me for the job.
But before that, I wanted to ask someone with guild knowledge what on Nirn Ranis thought she was playing at.
When it came to people with guild knowledge, there was an obvious first port of call.
Ajira was agreeable to leaving work a little earlier than usual, especially as business was slow these days. Many of her typical customers had been adventurers and treasure-hunters who wanted to buy potions to support their explorations, and many of these lived on the mainland and had travelled to Vvardenfell by guild guide. With the quarantine in place and the Vvardenfell network cut off, the alchemy shop had to make do with local customers, and they often preferred to buy at the Temple or Nalcarya's. Between that and a spike in the price of imported ingredients, I'd gathered from overheard conversation that the guild was making far less than it used to from potions sales. A problem for the guild leadership to worry about — for me and Ajira, it simply meant that it was easy for her to justify closing early every now and then.
When I'd first arrived in Balmora, we might have taken our evening meal outside. But by now the weather, although still far too warm for winter according to my Skyrim-hardened self, was nevertheless cold enough to make such attempts an exercise in masochism — especially for those of us not in possession of fur. Instead, we bought flatbread stuffed with scuttle, saltrice and some kind of meat where I didn’t want to think about the provenance too closely off a street vendor and made our way to Ajira's tiny apartment. It being Tirdas, Ma'Zajirr was absent, allowing me to recount what Ranis had asked me to do without little ears listening in.
After I finished my story, Ajira was silent for some time. Finally, when I was starting to get well and truly nervous, she sighed.
"Ajira wishes friend Adryn had spoken to her of this sooner."
That sounded ominous. I resented this deeply. I had not signed up for ominous today and thought it quite rude of it to be arriving uninvited.
"You were so busy when we talked last, I didn't want to bother you. Besides, what she was asking me didn't seem unreasonable to ask of a guild apprentice. Unreasonable to ask of me, yes, but it's not like that's stopped anyone so far."
And honestly, between Cosades, Habasi and my pesky tendencies towards altruism, I was used to being sent on errands that were really entirely outside - never to mention too dangerous for - my skill-set. It wasn't as if the Mages' Guild was innocent, either, considering how Edwinna had sent me straight into a Daedra's maw in Maar Gan, or how Skink-in-Trees'-Shade's request I escort Tenyeminwe had ended up working out. Ranis' demands had seemed like simply more of the same, and I hadn't given them a second thought. Judging by Ajira's wince, this was a mistake.
"It is true that there are people who work as troubleshooters for the guild. But not apprentices, friend Adryn must understand. Associates, or those at a higher level who have volunteered. And... the guild members, they talk. When Edwinna received complaints about Huleen, Ajira heard about it. When she asked friend Adryn to investigate, Ajira heard. When Huleen’s careless apprentice," Ajira's nose scrunched in distaste, "arrived in Ald'ruhn and confessed what he had done, Ajira heard. But these things friend Adryn is talking about now... these, Ajira is hearing for the first time."
My stomach sank. It was obvious what Ajira was getting at.
"Meaning that Ranis Athrys kept it quiet. When she'd have no reason to do that if they were regular tasks for the guild."
The guildmistress's office swam into my mind, the tiny cramped thing that Ranis presided over like a queen, beckoning me inside to give me my marching orders.
Always inside, come to think of it. Where Edwinna might have grabbed my arm in the corridor to ask me to do something for her, Ranis only ever gave me tasks in that room, or in Edwinna's office in Ald'ruhn. In private. Where no one else could overhear.
"You're suggesting Ranis is using me to do her own dirty work and keeping it secret from the guild as a whole."
Looking at the things I'd done for her in this light was, in one word, dispiriting. True, for some of them I had trouble seeing how Ranis benefited — recruiting that former Telvanni for the guild, say, or getting Only-He-Stands-Here to stop offering training. However, getting her Itermerel's notes looked significantly more dubious in hindsight. Worst of all, of course, was that time she'd sent me out to collect guild dues. Sadder and wiser, I had to wonder if the guild coffers had seen a single drake of that money.
"Exactly." Any hope that I'd been reading things wrongly was brutally destroyed by Ajira's agreement. "It is strange that she did not take any measures to ensure friend Adryn's silence, it is true. But perhaps she is not worried. After all, Adryn does not typically speak with those such as Skink-in-Trees'-Shade or Malven Romori. She speaks with Ajira, or with Masalinie, who do not have much standing in the guild."
Meaning that they weren't likely to raise it to anyone who'd care, and if they did they'd be easy enough to discount.
And speaking of people easy to discount...
"Should I go to Skink-in-Trees'-Shade or Malven, then?"
I could hear my own doubt in the question, and Ajira didn't answer immediately. Instead, she waggled her paw from side to side, as though balancing something awkward and top-heavy.
"On the whole, Ajira thinks... yes, but not now. Skink-in-Trees'-Shade would be very interested to hear of this, very interested indeed, and would have the ability to do something as well. But friend Adryn must have solid evidence to present him. At the moment, it would be her word against Ranis Athrys', and Ajira fears that would go poorly."
Precisely as I'd thought. Small wonder Ranis hadn't been all too concerned about me mouthing off. With no witnesses to her actually giving me those tasks, it would be all too easy for her to shift the blame onto me if it should come out. I could already see it happening — claims that I'd extorted money from a guild member under false pretenses, or stolen Itermerel's notes, all the while lying that Ranis (who would, of course, be playing the ignorant innocent to the hilt) had given me her blessing for it. With nothing else to support either side it would come down to reputation, and I wasn't about to fool myself regarding who would win that competition.
"So." I heaved a gusty sigh. "I need to find evidence."
"Ajira thinks Tashpi Ashibael might be a good place to start. She might know why Ranis Athrys wishes her dead, will at least be able to confirm friend Adryn's tale." Ajira paused. "Unless Ajira's friend was planning to kill her, of course."
We had to arrange for another card game at some point, because Ajira's poker face regularly amazed me. Right now her face was blank, whiskers still, ears straight. Only a glint of humour in her eye betrayed her.
"You've caught me. I was just about to mix up the bittergreen," I said dryly. "Honestly, I don't even care if she is a necromancer. I'm no one's hired murderer."
Especially as, even if I found necromancy distasteful at best, the death penalty seemed rather excessive for it. I suspected it was my outlander status that led to that opinion, seeing as none of the Morrowind natives I'd spoken to raised an eyebrow at treating it as equal in severity to murder, and so usually opted to stay quiet about it.
"It is ridiculous," Ajira said firmly. I spent a moment being surprised — was this a case of a Morrowind native who shared my opinion? — before she continued. "Tashpi Ashibael, friend Adryn says. Ajira asks, who is this Tashpi Ashibael? Ajira has never heard of her, she cannot be known to the guild. If she is a necromancer, let someone else handle her. The guards, the Ordinators, the Fighter's Guild, they have the people and training for these matters. The only times Ajira thinks it is the responsibility of the Mages' Guild to deal with a necromancer is when it came from their ranks. But when someone is discovered as a necromancer, does Ranis Athrys send people after her? No. No, she does not."
"Wait." Making further plans for dealing with Ranis Athrys had to wait. There was gossip to be had. "There was a necromancer in the guild?"
Ajira hissed, long and low, her unsheathed claws scraping at the wooden table. "Yes. Telura Ulver, she is called. A member of the Balmora guild, who was expelled not long before friend Adryn joined. A friend of Sharn gra-Muzgob's and Galbedir's, she was, before they discovered foul things in her belongings, and when Ranis called her to account she forced a spirit to cover her escape." No other race's body language did disgust quite like a Khajiit. "Ajira has even discovered where she is! Ajira’s friends have seen the necromancer coming and leaving from Shal, a cave north of Hla Oad. She has told Ranis Athrys, and yet nothing has happened. If Ranis should sent friend Adryn to hunt necromancers, she should start there."
I blinked at this onslaught of information. One thing jumped out at me.
"Ajira, I'd still rather not be sent to kill any necromancers. Former guild members or not."
Ajira blinked at me, lazy and slow, her tail curling behind her. Her smile was a cat's smile, full of secrets.
"Oh, Ajira thinks you might have made an exception. After all, Telura Ulver stole a whole set of Master's alchemy equipment before she fled."
That obviously gave me something to think about.
Master's sets of alchemy equipment were hard to come by. Where a simple apprentice's mortar and pestle like the one sadly gathering dust in my cupboard was easily made and could be acquired at any reasonably equipped goods store across Tamriel, Master's sets were different. The materials had to be carefully chosen, the glass for the alembic blown to very precise measurements, the calcinator able to withstand extreme temperatures without warping in the slightest. The mortar and pestle were the most difficult, requiring not just a very specific type of marble but carefully-laid enchantments which would draw out the magical properties of the ingredients without interfering with them in the slightest. I only knew of a single one in the whole Mages' Guild, and I'd be surprised if there were more than half a dozen on Vvardenfell.
With rarity, of course, came price. Any single tool, at Master's quality, might run to ten septims or more, the mortar and pestle to twenty. As a result, although I'd certainly dreamed of owning one myself, I'd never expected that dream to actually become reality. Even at the height of our days in Windhelm, after we’d finally stabilized our finances and before the Thief-King set his greedy eyes on us, it had never truly seemed within reach.
And this necromancer had simply absconded with one.
And I knew where she was.
Except, of course, that I only had Ajira's word for the whole thing, and said word had come from guild gossip rather than first-hand information. I'd certainly want to ascertain myself of a few things — her theft of the equipment, what she was doing with it right now, and what sort of person she was, before I-
Before I what?
I sternly reminded myself that I was, in fact, retired. This rang rather hollow given what Habasi had had me doing. If I was going to be forced into criminal activity, surely it was understandable if I engaged in some voluntarily on the side for my own benefit...
In desperation, I moved on to my next argument: the fact that before I did any planning of any activity, criminal or otherwise, I should get myself to Maar Gan and warn Tashpi. This one worked significantly better.
The silt strider service was up and running, although I admittedly inspected both beast and sky with a careful eye before climbing aboard, and also pressed a hand against my hip to make sure the pouch where I'd stored the Hlormaren index was still there. An optimal escape route it was not, but I'd take it over being stuck in Maar Gan again.
Maar Gan hadn't changed any since aforementioned being stuck there, the small collection of shell-houses very familiar. For a moment, some strange reflex had my feet veering towards the Temple, but I caught myself in time. Tashpi wasn't a member, and I should check her home first. Nor would Methal be at the Temple this time... nor Ervesa.
I gritted my teeth against the pang that shot through me at that last thought. So far, my hopes that distance and separation would turn my emotions for Ervesa into something significantly less confusing — to whit, something clearly identifiable as friendship — had been in vain. This, I figured, was punishment enough already that the universe should refrain from heaping more on me. In particular, I refused to subject myself to the indignity of love-sickness.
Putting any and all yearning firmly out of my mind, I turned my back on the Temple and made my way to Tashpi's house.
Tashpi was delighted when she saw me at her door, whisking me inside even as she told me how she'd regretted not being able to make it to Ald'ruhn in recent weeks.
"So I'm glad you found a reason to stop by! Sit, sit, have something to drink." As my time in Morrowind lengthened, I was starting to believe Dunmer were terrified any household not able to conjure a pot of steaming hackle-lo tea within minutes would be cursed with unimaginable disaster. At least, that was my best explanation for how omnipresent the stuff was. "I'd offer some cakes, but we've had a terrible time getting scrib jelly recently."
Looking at Tashpi's smile, cowardice overwhelmed me. I stalled, letting myself be drawn into the familiar, well-worn conversation about what the quarantine had done to the markets and how the Empire seemed to think we could survive off saltrice alone.
It was Tashpi herself who put an end to that. "So what brings you Maar Gan? It can't possibly have just been to catch up with me."
I gathered my breath. I hated having to puncture Tashpi's joy, but I couldn't possibly leave her in ignorance.
As expected, when I told her why I was there Tashpi's face fell, the laughing healer I knew gone without a trace. I silently cursed Ranis Athrys at the sight.
"I... I don't understand. I've just been living here, not bothering anyone. Why would Ranis-" Tashpi's voice cut off abruptly, her eyes widening. "Wait, is she angry just because- how proud can a person even be?"
"Do you want to finish your sentences, for those of us in the room who can't read minds?"
Tashpi glanced at me. I had the distinct impression that for a moment, she'd forgotten I was even there.
"A few years ago, I was in Balmora — meeting with a healer who's an old friend of mine to exchange some gossip and tips. I ran into Ranis Athrys on the way, who was in a temper... the exact details aren't important but she tried to take it out on me, I didn't let her, and the whole thing turned out quite embarrassing for her. I knew she disliked me after that, but to go this far, over some hurt pride?" Tashpi shook her head.
I was less surprised than I'd have liked to be. Pride was an odd thing — the more of it you had, the more ferociously protective you seemed to be of it. In my time in Skyrim, I'd seen some people go to terrifying lengths to defend theirs. And you barely had to speak to Ranis to know she was filled to the gills with the stuff.
A timely reminder to stay humble, I thought.
And speaking of humility...
"I’m sorry, you know."
I didn't say it because I thought the whole situation was in any way my fault or responsibility. I said it because someone ought to, and I was the only available candidate. My pride — which I did my best to prune at regular intervals — could take the hit.
Tashpi heaved a sigh. "Thanks. It's good to know someone cares. And at least I was planning to leave already."
My curiosity roused. "Oh?"
Tashpi waved a hand. "Just... everyone's on edge, since the quarantine. And when people are on edge, they look for someone to blame. I've already heard whispers that Ashlander hunters disturbed the Ghostfence and let the Blight out. My family's been settled-folk since my grandfather's day... but when people are angry enough, they don't care about details like that."
That was a very concerning detail, I decided. Concerning enough it felt like someone should be doing something about it. Alas, I was in no way, shape or form in a position where I could do so.
Something itched at me, at the back of my mind. As though something about what I'd just thought didn't fit.
As though I should be in a position to do something about it.
I shook my head, as though I could dislodge the strange thought like a fly. Obediently, it went. "So... you're getting out now."
"Exactly."
Tashpi looked at me. I looked at Tashpi. Neither of us mentioned the glaring fact that any place out of that particular stew could hardly be on Vvardenfell.
Well. She was a healer, and this whole quarantine stunk like a rotten alit anyway. If she'd managed to find passage to the mainland, I wasn't going to snitch on her.
Especially because it got her safely out of Ranis' way.
"Great! Just one thing..." I paused, trying to find the best way to word this. "I'm trying to gather evidence for Ranis misusing guild resources." Yes, that was a nice, objective, serious-sounding sentence right there. No need to mention that by guild resources I meant me. "Would you be willing to talk to one of the guild leads about this whole situation? Your encounter with her, and her threat? Written testimony would work as well, considering the circumstances."
I'd been hoping for enthusiastic agreement. I'd been expecting it, to tell the truth. Considering leaving Maar Gan or not, Tashpi was clearly unhappy to be forced to uproot her life at short notice. Anyone would be. Jumping at the chance to hit back was the most natural thing in the world.
But Tashpi's eyes darted to the side. She cleared her throat, then took a long, leisurely drink of her tea, clearly stalling for time.
"I take it that's a no, then."
"I'd like to, I really would. But... it's not safe." Tashpi's face twisted. "Her... her accusation, you see..."
Wait a minute.
"Azura’s mercy, don't tell me you actually are a necromancer."
Powered by surprise, the words escaped me before my second thoughts could catch up, in particular before they could point out exactly how a Morrowind native was likely to react to this accusation.
And indeed, Tashpi bristled. "Of course not! I'd never hurt a spirit! I just..." She waved her hands, looking clearly frustrated. "This would be a lot easier if we were speaking Dunmeris."
Sometimes the universe just drops a cue in front of you. Far be it from me to reject this one.
"I've picked some up since the last time we spoke," I said in the language in question. "Try me."
Tashpi stared at me, round-eyed with surprise. "Your accent is good!" Hers, I could tell just from those few words, was very distinctive, in particular distinctively not one I'd heard before. I focused on listening with grim concentration. "The problem is the difference between cardeyn and dwevanchow."
And she'd lost me.
"I'm sorry, I don't know those words."
Tashpi didn't look particularly surprised. "Cardeyn means using magic to bind a spirit to this world with their full consent." She'd switched back to Tamrielis, I noticed with mild indignation. Just because I didn't know specialized magical vocabulary didn't mean I couldn't talk. "Dwevanchow means enslaving spirits against their will. It's a little more complicated — for instance, binding a spirit to their clan's service as punishment for wrongdoing in life would be cardeyn, and the binding of a child's spirit would always be dwevanchow even if the spirit was willing — but that's the gist of it. Cardeyn is legal, while dwevanchow is not. Except..."
"...that they both translate to necromancy." I could feel a headache building. Not one of the sharp, terrible ones I'd been prone to, just a dull throb behind my temple proving how much I didn't want to be worrying about this. "Of course they do. And you... practice cardeyn?"
Tashpi's eyes darted around, as though searching for eavesdroppers. She didn't relax even upon seeing that nobody had inexplicably decided to follow us into her home.
"Unofficially, sometimes. Yes." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.
It seemed as though every time I thought I'd had a handle on Morrowind customs, they decided to throw another low branch into my way. The information on necromancy wasn't precisely new to me, even if the vocabulary was. One particular tomb in the Grazelands containing the results of what were clearly sanctioned necromantic workings came to mind, or the Ghostfence as the most visible (in every sense of the word) example. This, however, sounded like additional complexity.
"'Unofficially?'" I repeated. "And what does that mean, exactly?"
Tashpi's eyes searched my face. I wasn't sure what it was she was after, but whatever she found there, it spurred a low groan.
"You know what? Let me make us some more tea."
More evidence in favour of my theory that hackle-lo tea was some sort of good-luck charm for Dunmer.
And maybe they were onto something. Perhaps lack of tea was what had been giving rise to my own absurd misadventures? I'd have to try brewing a few pots myself when I was in town to see if it made any difference, in the spirit of racial solidarity and scientific inquiry.
For now, over slightly under-steeped hackle-lo, Tashpi explained.
It turned out there was an additional twist to the "consensual necromancy good, nonconsensual bad" basic division I’d suspected before and Tashpi had just confirmed. It consisted of the Temple, in particular the Ghostfence.
I hadn't been wrong — the Ghostfence was quite possibly the greatest necromantic working that had ever been completed. It needed a huge amount of spirits to keep it working — spirits that had to constantly be replenished as older ones lost their ties to this world, weakened and eventually vanished to finally journey on to whatever afterlife awaited them. In order to procure a supply, some centuries ago the Temple had engaged in what had amounted to a giant upheaval of Morrowind funerary practices.
"Most people, especially in Redoran, Indoril and Hlaalu, aren't aware," Tashpi explained. "They think it's simply natural that the dead are taken to Necrom on the mainland after cremation, with only a few rare individuals interred in the ancestral tomb. But time was that all a clan's dead would strengthen that clan alone. Tombs would be better protected, often with a minor ghostfence of their own, and clan members had a far easier time calling on ancestral spirits. The spirits were often bound, the ties strengthened, by independent practitioners of cardeyn rather than Temple priests."
It was clear to me where this was going.
"I take it some of these 'independent practitioners' still exist... and the Temple doesn't like you very much."
Tashpi flinched. "Doesn't like is maybe a little strong? We're... tolerated, shall we say. We're not using dwevanchow, after all, we're acting completely ethically, legally, and in line with tradition stemming from Chimer days. And a lot of the times, the people who ask our help would never seek out the Temple, or wouldn’t be welcomed if they did. Settled Ashlanders, outlanders who've learned enough of our ways to want to honour their ancestors, the occasional Telvanni — although they mostly handle their own."
Which all sounded well and good, except for the detail where they were still undermining the Temple's control. Any powerful organization would take that poorly — and in this case, there was the additional twist that the Ghostfence was, events had proven, vitally important to the security of the whole island.
"So how is that working out for you?"
"I," Tashpi said primly, "have an excellent working relationship with Salen, and am on good terms with the Temple on the whole. I don't even do cardeyn very often these days — I'm a healer first and foremost. But I've seen myself how easy it is for people to start looking at you with suspicion, especially when the word necromancy gets thrown about."
Tashpi's eyes were unfocused, and I thought that was old grief tugging at the corners of her mouth. I'd bet septims against drakes that she had a specific incident in mind, and it hadn't ended well for the independent in question.
Especially as, in this particular context, that was a very unfortunate distinction to lose in the translation to Tamrielic.
"So I'm afraid I won't be able to help you," Tashpi admitted. "I'd like to, really, but the risk... it's too much. I can't justify it." Her lips pressed together. "I'd like to say Salen and Methal know me and would never believe it, but I've seen things go sour suddenly before. I really can't afford for rumours of necromancy to get attached to my name, and openly speaking against Ranis would just fan the flames. No, the best thing for me to do would be to quietly disappear."
"I understand completely. Don't worry about it." Even if I'd been capable of twisting Tashpi's arm into helping me, I wouldn't, not when the risk she described sounded very real. "I'll figure something out with Ranis."
Maybe something would come up in the next mission, or I'd be able to meet with that guild member I'd gotten the dues off again, or maybe a notebook where I listed all the details of what Ranis had asked me to do would be more promising than I hoped...
Something would come up, I told myself. I was certain of it.
Leaving Maar Gan turned out surprisingly easy, with the evening strider arriving right on schedule and delivering me to Ald'ruhn around the time I usually went to bed. I, who had been preparing myself for anything from ash-storms over bandit attacks to an outbreak of the Blight, was a little thrown by this and spent most of the journey alternating between staring at the landscape, the strider and the caravaneer with suspicion. Still, I wasn't going to complain about being able to seek out my bed in the Mages' Guild at a sane time.
Not that it helped any, given that certain other guild members had apparently been carousing and stumbled in later making enough noise to wake the dead. And just when I thought they'd finally fallen asleep, the person two beds over began to engage in... activities. Activities that should only be engaged in in private, if one insisted on doing so at all. Perhaps he and his partner thought they were being quiet enough to avoid attention. They were not.
Burying my head under the pillow, for the thousandth time I ran through my options for alternate accommodation. I'd heard through the grapevine that the quarantine had had a significant effect on the housing market in Ald'ruhn, and that rents and house prices were the lowest they'd been in decades... but were they low enough for me to afford, given my patchy income?
Or, if they were not... would they be low enough for me to afford, if I happened to come across a set of Master's alchemy equipment? By liberating them from a necromancer, say, one who most likely practiced dwevanchow and had taken the things out of spite rather than true desire, might have left them gathering dust on her shelf?
A particularly loud thump made me turn over, futilely attempting to turn my back to all directions at once. My groan was drowned out by the noise.
I'd... investigate, I told myself. Not jump into anything. Just look into whether this Telura Ulver was really as awful as Ajira had painted her, and what exactly she was doing with this alchemy equipment she'd stolen. Out of pure intellectual curiosity.
And maybe, at the same time, I'd ask around about housing. These two things would of course be completely unconnected, only coincidentally happening at the same time.
As luck would have it, the next day provided a good opportunity to set the second into motion, because I had a stop to make in the Redoran Council Hall before going to see Ranis.
Neminda stared at me flatly in silence for long enough I started to squirm beneath her steady gaze. Her being a Redguard warrior with close-cropped greying hair was not helping, as I only had to let my eyes drift out of focus a little to get the impression that it was Azha sat behind the desk fixing me with her coldly disapproving gaze. At the point where I seriously started to consider giving up and running for it, she let out a long, heavy sigh.
"I'd tell Jamexa that she really shouldn't be sharing House business with you, but there wouldn't be any point. Would there."
Jamie had told me that Neminda was the one spearheading Athyn Sarethi's investigation into the ash statues, and that I should speak to her about it if I wanted to get involved. Judging by Neminda's frown, she wasn't nearly as keen on this plan as Jamie had been.
"Ah... you shouldn't blame her. We were just talking about," our duties as coerced Blades agents, I emphatically did not say, "what we'd been doing lately, and got onto the topic of the whole thing with the statues..."
"Which is the only reason I'm not about to rip her right back down to Retainer," Neminda said. "There's a reason why we wanted discretion for this investigation, but since you were involved in the inciting incident you already know a lot about it. More importantly, we can safely assume you're not an enemy agent."
I also did not inform Neminda that if one considered the Blades an enemy, technically I was. My discretion and sense of tact was having an unusually good day. I'd have to figure out a way to reward it.
"And you did a good enough job on clearing Sarethi junior that I won't object to having you on board. Would have requested it, even, except for the whole thing where you're not a member of Redoran." Neminda paused. "Unless you're planning to change that? I've got the recruitment forms right here, you know."
There was a hopeful note in her voice. Why was there a hopeful note in her voice.
"Ah- no. No thank you. Not today." I managed after a moment.
Neminda shook her head. "Pity. Especially since you seem to insist on doing the work anyway. You know, between this, doing our work for us in Maar Gan, and rescuing what sounds like half the Councilors' children at one point or another. Are you sure you haven't already joined and forgotten about it?"
"I," I said loudly, "am simply a concerned citizen. Who has terrible luck, and unfortunate altruistic tendencies. There's no need to go reading into things. Now, can we please talk about the investigation?"
The investigation, it turned out, was being divided into parts. We had two known Dagoth cultists, in the form of Galtis Guvron and Hanarai Assutlanipal. Guvron, it turned out, had killed himself when the guards came to take him into custody. (I shivered at that mental image.) Assutlanipal had been tipped off somehow. Although there'd been a surreptitious guard set on her home, she'd never showed. Guards in other towns had apparently been given her description, but none had seen her since. This meant there was no information to be had from either of the two, leaving us to search among their contacts to see if we could trace more of the network.
Jamie had been talking to Hanarai's friends and family in Ald'ruhn, Neminda to Guvron's. Varvur was tackling the Rat in the Pot, as one of Guvron's known haunts.
At that point, I had to stop Neminda.
"Varvur? Really?"
"He wanted to be involved, and his father approved of it." Neminda's mouth twisted almost unnoticeably. I sympathised. Whatever she'd thought of the matter, Neminda could hardly say no to her boss. Life as a spoiled noble must be so very different from that of us common plebeians. "He's been doing better than expected, at least. The thing with the statue knocked some humility into him, and he's already got contacts there."
I moved on from that topic as quickly as I could. There were so many more pleasant topics one could talk about than Varvur Sarethi, after all. The weather. The precise statistics of the winning Arena team in Imperial City going back forty years. The geography and inhabitants of the Scuttling Void.
Also, I suddenly found myself hoping with some degree of desperation that the team was well-organised enough we didn't need to, horror of horrors, meet.
"So what do you want me doing?"
"I'd like you to have another look at Morvayn Manor."
This, Neminda explained, was where Assutlanipal had worked. Because this gave her a connection to another Redoran Councilor, the Temple had done an investigation of their own, sending one of their priests who could detect corruption. The priest in question had spent several days talking to every single person who lived or worked in the manor, left a sheaf of notes, but declared it clean.
"Which is why I hadn't had anyone looking into it yet. But honestly, it's still bothering me. It would've been a prime opportunity to spread the statues, and I'm turning up people among Assutlanipal's friends who've been in contact with them. We're supposed to believe she did nothing at her workplace?" Neminda shook her head. "I'll hand you the notes, and tell Councilor Morvayn you'll be by to ask questions."
Wonderful. Just what I wanted: more conversations with Redoran nobles.
But I could hardly bow out now, especially because I shared Neminda's misgivings. What self-respecting cultist would get themselves a job in the home of a Redoran Councilor — one who, gossip had it, was a prime favourite to challenge Archmaster Venim for his position one day — and then not do anything with it? No, Morvayn Manor had to be some sort of lead.
And for now, I was spared the interaction with nobility. Neminda simply retrieved a sheaf of paper from a locked set of drawers to one side, gave it to me and asked me to read through it before I talked to Morvayn. Preferably, Neminda said, I might wait a few days to give her time to inform him and (this part went unspoken, but I could pick up on the subtext) him time to get used to the idea that he'd have to let a dirty investigator into his home again. This was something I was more than happy to do.
But when Neminda was about to send me off, I stopped her.
"Ah... there was another thing I wanted to ask. Do you know who I should speak to about available housing?"
As the ultimate authority in Ald'ruhn, House Redoran must have had a clerk in charge of recording and arranging all property transactions, and likely was the ultimate owner of many properties anyway. At least, this was how it had worked in Skyrim — I still remembered Ingerte and Hrunstar going to meet the Jarl's steward when we acquired the deed for what would become the Skeever's Nest — and I couldn't imagine Morrowind differed that much.
And indeed, Neminda didn't seem surprised. "Looking for a place to live? You've picked the right time for it — house prices are at the lowest they've been since Vvardenfell was opened for settlement, what with the quarantine." She clicked her tongue. "If I'd known, I'd definitely have waited a little to buy a place... anyway, it's Mivanu Andrelo down the hall you want to talk to, but if you just want an overview she's been printing brochures. Let me just..."
I'd noticed before that Neminda's desk didn't quite fit with her no-nonsense appearance. It looked as though multiple stacks of documents had waged a fierce war on each other. One corner of the desk appeared to have been left out of the hostilities, most likely due to it housing a precarious tower of books liable to topple and destroy all parties if disturbed. Another bore a quill, inkpot, seal and stick of sealing wax which had somehow managed to avoid drowning under the paper-shaped deluge. I'd been doing my level best to avert my gaze from a mug half-full of kava, because I had no idea how it was defying gravity and was worried it would realize it shouldn't be if someone paid it too much attention.
Now, Neminda shuffled through the contents with terrifying nonchalance. I winced as her elbow came within a hairs' breadth of the Great Book Tower, and with it chaos in Redoran's recent records the likes of which would give any bureaucrat a heart attack. I squeezed my eyes shut when she started shifting parchment near the mug.
"There we are. Here, take one — I've got plenty."
Through either divine amounts of luck or skill beyond comprehension, Neminda had managed to secure her quarry without catastrophe. In fact, the piles on her desk, Great Book Tower and mug that had to be using levitation magic somehow looked untouched from before.
"Any day now, girl. Or do you want to volunteer for any other House Redoran duties? Thelvyn Virith up in Ald Velothi has been saying something about a dangerous slaughterfish he needs taken care of, in case you're feeling bored."
This sounded like my cue to take my prize and leave.
Trying to find a private place to study both the notes from the investigation and the thin booklet Neminda had excavated proved, once again, why the latter was necessary. The guild library in Ald'ruhn was busier than I was used to, while there was no decent private space in the Balmora guild at all. As I was still avoiding Caldera due to Blowfish, Vivec due to Trebonius — never to mention the curse I by now had absolutely unassailable evidence for — and Sadrith Mora due to the Telvanni, this left me out of options at the guild.
I considered that litany and wondered, for a moment, whether I might be a little too quick to make enemies.
No, I decided. This could really have happened to anyone.
There were other libraries available — a public one, in Ald'ruhn, and a small one in the Temple — but they'd be, if anything, even more crowded than the guild library. Although I'd developed a decent ability to ignore others when I was working out of sheer self-defense, I didn't think Neminda would be too happy with me if I went through the confidental Temple dossier on a Redoran Councilor and his family and underlings where anyone could look over my shoulder.
That list of properties to rent was attracting me like movement attracted a cliff-racer, but it didn't solve my problem right now.
Finally, I went with my option of last resort, which was — what else could it be — Hlormaren. Jamie wasn't with me this time, but I figured I should be able to manage on my own. I knew the way back to Balmora quite well by now, and I'd noticed the last time we were here that most of the larger animals seemed to hibernate over winter. If I avoided running into any rats, I should be fine — and if my luck did run out, I could always teleport back and try again.
Besides, Jamie not being with me had a few other advantages. One, most obviously: she couldn't ask me any awkward questions. I'd managed to avoid any private conversations after the last time we were here, with Dralsi, where Jamie had managed to figure out more of my past — and its criminal connections — than I was comfortable with. Maybe if I continued doing so long enough, Jamie would just... forget. The chances of this were not very high, but I lived in hope.
More to the point: when I left Hlormaren, I might just find myself taking a detour. Taking the scenic route. Letting myself enjoy the fresh air. If I happened to pass by a cave by the name of Shal on the way, why, nobody could possibly blame me for cautiously investigating. Having a look to see if the purported necromancer who lived there was really as awful as Ajira had claimed (I had to admit that after Tashpi, I was skeptical.) Peeking in to see whether she really did have the stolen alchemy equipment I'd heard about. Whether it was in use. Whether it was sitting on a shelf gathering dust, silently crying out for a new owner...
I shook my head to dismiss my flights of fancy. Before any of that, I had some documents to read.
Looking through the properties of Ald'ruhn was instructive. And a little humbling. I'd thought myself decently well-off, recently, but most of the houses listed were so far away from what I could afford they might as well be on Secunda — rents and purchase price.
There were, however, a few exceptions. Of them, I kept coming back to one in particular.
A small shell-house, in the eastern part of town not far from the Temple. Some distance from the guild, but that was what feet were for, and it was very close to the square where the Loredas market was held. And for all the pamphlet warned about its size, it mentioned a cellar. I knew how large even the smallest shell-houses were, and with that and a cellar I suspected it'd still be three times as much space as Ajira and Ma'Zajirr were sharing today. The pamphlet also mentioned a hearth and chimney, so there was ventilation available. A little work, a little magic, and I'd be able to turn that into an alchemy lab.
Unfortunately, although this place's price did not leave it on a moon, it was nevertheless still out of my reach. Halfway up Red Mountain, perhaps. Something one might dream of saving towards one day, but not in any sort of reasonably near future.
The rent, on the other hand, was far more manageable... and yet still a little too much for me to stomach. We were talking Fort Moonmoth, now — walking distance but still a little far away.
If I happened to come into a set of alchemy equipment, that might change my calculations. At the same time, I hated the idea of tying myself down with such a major expense simply hoping that things would work out the way I'd planned them. That sounded like relying on luck, which was something I should really strive to avoid given the general state of mine. No, better to continue calculating with the earnings I actually had - to whit, my profits from my forages with Jamie along with the money for the Ta’agra lessons.
Which were, sadly, not quite enough.
Putting the topic into the back of my mind to stew for a while, I turned to my actual task — the notes on Morvayn manor.
These lifted my mood within minutes, less due to the content than the style. Whoever — I flicked back to the second page of the report to find the name of the author — Adept Adrusu Rothrano was, I really wanted to meet her at some point. I suspected we'd get on, or if we didn't that it would make for an amusing spectacle, because she was not just very opinionated but also eager to share said opinions.
Yasamsi Zennamu, I read. Maid. Hired two months ago through some tangled web of nepotism this investigator attempted to understand and was resoundingly defeated by. Claimed to have only spoken to Assutlanipal once. This investigator was initially doubtful but was convinced of it through the interview, as suspect proved far more adept in the use of squeaks, unintelligible mumbles, and the sound "um" than anything this investigator would usually term language, and was later observed hiding from others. Other suspects indicate suspect is "shy", which this investigator considers a drastic understatement. Further avenues of questioning that suggest themselves include whether suspect is in fact a Dunmer or a very large mouse who has learned Illusion magic, but as this investigation is narrow in scope these are beyond its purview.
Estimated risk of subversion: MINIMAL. To the best of this investigator's knowledge participation in a heretic cult requires talking to people.
Corruption detected by spell: NONE
Flipping a page...
Nilos Talds — bodyguard of Dathis Morvayn, previously bodyguard of Councilor Morvayn. Has been in employ of Morvayn family since "before you were old enough to stick your cursed over-curious nose into things", this investigator was informed at length. Subject proved extremely opinionated on not just this but other matters as well, including but not limited to how all Councilors other than Councilor Morvayn are "a bunch of fools", our Imperial overlords a "lot of lazy pansies we could chase out if we really wanted to", and the current quarantine best described by words I cannot in good faith reproduce in a text meant for the Temple library. Unfortunately, this investigator found it impossible to ask follow-up questions due to a complete inability to get a word in edgewise.
Estimated risk of subversion: MINOR. Cult corruption typically requires a two-way conversation, and over the course of the interview subject exhibited no sign he was capable of such.
Corruption detected by spell: NONE
Her notes on the Morvayn family were also a thing of beauty. I had tears in my eyes from fighting back laughter reading her complaints about how Councilor Morvayn’s arrogance was pathological even for a noble and how his allergic reaction to anyone who couldn’t trace their pedigree to one of the Great Seven of Redoran would make it impossible to participate in any conspiracy. The section on his new wife was sedate in comparison, the commentary less about her personality and more about the age difference, but the one on his eldest son had me in stitches again. Especially when Rothrano professed confusion as to how it was possible to be alive while so clearly lacking a brain.
The pinnacle, however, was this one:
Lleril Morvayn — youngest son of Councilor Morvayn, son of Brara Morvayn. Suspect proved reluctant to be interviewed, refusing to answer questions except with loud screaming, ignoring this investigator in favour of focusing his attention on a stuffed guar toy, and at one point launching an attack in the form of projectile vomit. This investigator was also not permitted to interview the suspect alone, as his mother insisted on being present. All these would be damning signs, if not for the detail that the suspect is a baby.
Estimated risk of subversion: NONE. Suspect is a baby.
Corruption detected by spell: NONE
I absolutely had to meet this woman. My life would remain a sad, empty void if not.
Until then, I could console myself with the fact that besides being vastly entertaining, these notes also served an additional purpose in that they gave me invaluable, if highly opinionated, insight into the inhabitants of Morvayn Manor. I had to admit to being nervous about new task — investigator and ferreter-out of cult members was not anywhere in my skillset — but leafing through them, I could see several points where I'd like to ask a few more questions than the author had done. She had, I felt, been a little quick to jump to conclusions here and there. After all, it was possible the shy maid had been playing up its severity, or the son his brainlessness.
(The baby, I figured, could be left above suspicion.)
After a while of taking notes on Rothrano's notes (and hoping no one would ever take notes on them, both because this would clearly be too many notes and because my handwriting was terrible), I figured I had a decent plan of attack for when I spoke to the Morvayns. And, with that, it was time to get up from this desk and have a quick wander around the countryside. A wander which might, completely coincidentally, pass by the cave called Shal, which I had definitely not picked out on my map earlier today. I got up from the chair and stretched.
My stomach chose this moment to let out a gurgle, one loud enough I was very glad Jamie had cleared this place out because I was fairly sure it could be heard from the lowest levels.
All right. Lunch, then a wander.
After a filling, if not particularly satisfying, meal of saltrice porridge and guar jerky, I set off. It seemed enough time had passed for me to acclimatize to the Morrowind climate, because the air felt crisp — no longer unseasonably warm to my mind, nor did the lack of snow make me keep thinking it was only autumn. There was one thing I hadn't had to get used to in the first place: the thin winter sun was much the same here as Skyrim. Tomorrow was the solstice, so I'd have to hurry if I wanted to get back to Balmora before dark.
Shal was thankfully not very far from Hlormaren, its entrance a battered wooden door set into rock which looked straight over the swamp. The fact that there was no way to get to the place without slogging through fetid water probably indicated Ulver wasn't keen on visitors.
Well. Visitors who weren't mages, at least. I let my Waterwalking spell spark and walked carefully in ever-growing circles around the entrance, searching and searching for a back door. Searching, it turned out, in vain.
What was with this island and places with only a single entrance? Arkngthand had been the same, to my great displeasure. Really, there were so many disadvantages to this setup. It was damnably impractical for thieves, true, but what if there was ever a fire? An attack? A flood? A gate to Oblivion opening on your doorstep? There were all sorts of reasons one might want an inconspicuous secondary entrance!
Well, at least I thought so. The people of Vvardenfell apparently disagreed.
Left with no other option, I took the main entrance.
The door creaked loudly when I pushed it open, and I waited with bated breath to see if anyone had noticed. After a lengthening period of silence — never to mention an increasingly pressing need for air — I exhaled. Apparently my luck was in. Now, to hope it stayed that way.
I cast my Detection spell, then descended into the gloom.
The tunnel sloped downwards, winding and curving so that it was hardly possible to see more than a few feet ahead. Even these feet were only possible due to the mage-lights stuck to the tunnel wall every few feet. If not for them, I'd be picking my way down in pitch darkness.
In truth, I wasn't sure if I'd not have rather had the pitch darkness. The steadily glowing blue light, without the flickering nature of torches, seemed to throw every one of my movements into sharp relief. At least darkness made it easier to hide — especially as I had a Night-Eye potion in my pack.
Carefully, I approached the next corner-
My Detection spell didn't save me. My ears did.
A strange dragging noise from up ahead made me hurl myself into an alcove in the tunnel, pressing my back to the wall. Just in time, as a humanoid figure appeared from around the bend.
Wait, a humanoid figure? But my Detection spell wasn't showing anything-
The figure shuffled a step closer, and I realised why.
The man wasn't a Dunmer — Breton or Imperial, I thought — but his face was grey enough one might wonder. Or, more accurately — the man hadn't been a Dunmer. He was, however, definitely consigned to the past tense. His dead skin, stiff movements and filmy white eyes showed that this man had left life behind, and not recently either. I'd have used the phrase consigned to a grave, except that he'd clearly not made it that far.
Point to Ajira, I thought as the stench of rot mixed with embalming fluid drifted towards me: Ulver was definitely a necromancer.
I kept myself very still as I watched the zombie approach. My hiding place was in shadow, so if I just stayed motionless-
Except that those clouded, dead eyes looked blind to me. How did zombies navigate, anyway? Sight? Smell — surely not, not their own stench was a weapon in its own right. I was hard-pressed not to sneeze right now. Telepathy?
I endeavoured to think rock-like thoughts.
Whatever the zombie was using, it apparently wasn't life detection, or perhaps its commands simply didn't reach that far. After a seemingly endless moment, it turned and shuffled back down the tunnel.
I waited a little more time before I gingerly stepped out of the alcove. I winced as I left it — one of the spikier rocks in there had wanted to make close friends with my back, and I suspected the indentation would take a while to go away.
All right. If I could just navigate around-
What are you doing, Adryn?
Charon's voice was so loud, so clear, I almost looked to see whether he was standing behind me.
I was...
I was attempting to infiltrate the lair of a proven necromancer. With no backup, or map of the place, or way of dealing with the undead guards I now knew for a fact existed.
In retrospect, this was most definitely not one of my better plans.
Well. Let nobody say I didn't — eventually — learn from my mistakes.
Silently, I turned around and picked my way back out.
My heart was pounding, but I did my best to show no sign of urgency as I bowed deeply to the bone-guardian. "My eternal gratitude for your forbearance, honoured ancestor. And my ally's as well."
Almalexia picked up on her cue as smoothly as if we'd been allies for decades, not only a few months. "Boethiah be my witness — I, Erabenimsun Almalexia, do swear to guard any secrets of Indoril I should be witness to here and now as my own for as long as I have breath, to moreover raise no hand against those of the clan for a year and a day, in exchange for their sanctuary now. May my spirit be torn from my body and enslaved as a guardian of Indoril should I renege on my oath."
After a long, long second the guardian's hooded, skeletal head dipped in a nod, the glowing lights of its eyes shifting back to blue.
"All right," I murmured to Almalexia when it had turned away from us. "Follow me. Don't touch anything. You've been given sanctuary, but some of the spirits can be a little... touchy."
"Sounds like the Erabenimsun ancestors. Don't worry, I know how to behave."
The tomb wasn’t as large as the main Indoril tomb in southern Deshaan, the main ashpit not far from the entrance. I knelt on the stone before it, drew my belt-knife and pressed my lips together. I’d much rather have made a sacrifice of a cliff-racer, scrib, or even a guar, but the two of us hadn’t exactly come prepared and needs must.
It took an effort of will to keep my face even and the tears from my eyes as I made a shallow gash in the skin of my lower arm. I hated pain - a statement one would think would go without saying, but I’d had enough people tell me showing visible signs of it was somehow shameful to realise that this wasn’t an opinion that was supposed to be expressed openly.
Then my mind was taken off the stinging sensation of the wound as, the moment the first drops off blood hit the ash, the ghostfence behind us sprang to life with a crackle and a blue glow.
I exhaled with relief as I scrambled back to my feet. "That should keep them."
The Nordic war-group we'd had the bad luck to stumble across while scouting numbered perhaps a dozen — too large for us to manage on our own but most definitely too small to launch an invasion on a fortified tomb. All we had to do was sit and wait for them to either get bored and leave or for the rest of our group to come drive them off. Sul would know that I’d make straight for the tomb on encountering any trouble.
For now, I could take the moment I needed to prepare and then loose the healing spell, the cut sealing shut beneath my fingers until there was only the blood on my hands and the memory of pain in the sensitive new skin as proof.
"Unless they’ve got one of those voice-wizards," Almalexia retorted from where she’d been watching me raise the ghostfence. "We’ve seen them blast through a ghostfence and take down three guardians on their own."
I wasn’t sure if Almalexia really believed this was likely or was just arguing for the sake of it (a hobby I could hardly object to as I was unfortunately prone to it myself). In any case, I had a counterargument.
"Doubtful. Tongues are highly respected among the Nords,” I said as I cleaned myself up with a cloth from my beltpouch. "They're unlikely to be with such a small war-band, and if they are they're going to have," I gestured with the bloody rag, "fancier equipment. A full set of carved armour, steel blades, war-trophies at their belt — that kind of thing. That group looked like they'd scavenged their equipment. Conscripts, probably."
If some part of me preened to be able to argue my case with such confidence, to show off some of the knowledge hard-won from years fighting against the Nords, I figured nobody could possibly blame me. Almalexia had set me on edge ever since she and her people had come out of nowhere to save Sul and me from an ambush a few months ago, patting themselves on the back about their superior martial skill all the while. It was good to prove that no, really, I did know what I was doing.
"If you say so," Almalexia said, in the tone of someone who was trying very hard not to be impressed. "I suppose that we'll find out in a moment either way, since I think they’ve just about caught up."
Indeed, there were raised voices coming from outside. Despite the fact that they’d know exactly where we'd gone, despite the fact that that didn’t matter since we were safe behind the ghostfence, I found myself hunching down reflexively, as if to make myself as still as silent as possible so that our pursuers would pass us by.
A crackling sound came from ahead, coupled with rippling blue light. The guardian who'd taken Almalexia's oath, who'd stayed floating near the entrance as we made our way into the tomb, gave a low, ominous hiss. The sound was echoed in the darkness around us, pairs of red lights igniting.
Almalexia was still as a statue, and for all her earlier arguing I doubted it was for fear our enemies would make it past the ghostfence. It had to be disconcerting to be in the heart of another clan's ancestral tomb like this - sanctuary or no sanctuary, in her shoes I'd have been ready to jump out of my skin.
I considered her likely reaction if I were to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, and decided this had too high chance of ending in me losing the hand in question to risk.
But the guardians ignored her, respecting the promised sanctuary. One by one the eyes in the darkness shifted as the guardians turned their attention from the two of us, Indoril and foreigner, to the enemies at our gate.
A long moment of silence from the front. Then-
My Nordic wasn't particularly good, but I was improving when it came to exclamations of frustration. And that, that was definitely the word for 'retreat' right there.
Still, some part of me only relaxed when the sounds of the enemy died down and the tomb guardians returned to their silent guard.
"What do you think, can we risk it?"
The apparent question wasn't one in truth, I judged on the basis of the resignation lurking in Almalexia's voice. She was simply feeling impatient, trapped in a strange clan's tomb and more than eager to leave it behind, and needed someone else to tell her what she already knew — that, for the moment, we were stuck here.
Well, she was a guest of mine right now. Far be it from me to breach hospitality,
"Better not. Too much of a risk that they're lurking just outside range to see if we'll make a run for it. Alandro Sul and the rest of the group will come looking for us, and if not we can try to sneak out under cover of darkness. For now, safer all round for us to stay put."
Suiting my actions to my words, I let myself drop onto the stone floor of the tomb, near the middle of the chamber well away from the ash-pit and any urns or grave-gifts. I dug in one of my belt-pouches as Almalexia plopped down next to me.
If the Wise Woman saw this, she might scold me for disrespect. I, however, thought that my many-times great-grandparents and aunts and uncles who had delayed their journey to the afterlife out of love for their descendants would surely still have sympathy for the many frailties of mortal life. The fact that the bone-guardian who’d met us on entry was still facing towards the entrance, no sign of reacting to what I was doing, argued in my favour.
"Guar jerky?" I offered.
It started out awkward, our impromptu evening meal amidst my ancestors' bones. It didn't stay that way. It turned out that Almalexia, once away from the evaluating stares of the other Erabenimsun, was in fact capable of unbending. Oh, she was still proud, but we not only managed to discuss our current strategy and situation without a single sneering comment about the Indoril, she even let herself be drawn into a discussion about whether it might be feasible to use tombs as an emergency retreat more often — a topic that would have driven our Wise Woman to fainting, or possibly exile.
"I was worried the Nords would have, you know, necromancers." I had to lower my voice, speaking of such dark arts in a holy place. "But it looks like even their degeneracy does not go so far. And they have almost no magic-users outside the Tongues, and those are rare. The average war-band has no good way to breach a ghostfence."
"An interesting idea," Almalexia said, as if we spoke about possible guerilla strategies that bordered on blasphemy every day. As if we discussed strategy every day, perfectly civilly and without any flaring tempers or insults thrown at each other. If this what a private discussion did, I desperately needed to find some excuse to strand myself and Zammusibael Siddurnanit , or possibly Dumac's incredibly annoying cousin Bthavin, alone somewhere for a few days.
(A conveniently-timed rockfall, maybe?)
"I’m still concerned about the voice-wizards, though," she continued. "And a ghostfence like this one," her shadow beside me made a movement towards the thin blue line in the gloom, "could still be broken by enough physical force. Never to mention the difficulty of getting our gaggle of clans to agree to let strangers into their places of worship. Not everyone is like you, Nerevar."
I winced. "That… is the primary challenge of the plan, yes."
"But there’s another option, of course." Almalexia’s voice had gone strangely thoughtful, the silhouette of her head angled away from me and towards the ghostfence. "Ghostfences gain power the more spirits contribute to them. If an ancillary tomb like this can hold off a war-band, a clan’s core tomb a Tongue, imagine if we combined them. If we convinced all the clans to contribute, to let themselves be interred together..."
Beside me, the rustle of cloth, the shadow that was Almalexia’s head tipping back. With an sudden unexpected ferocity, I wished we had more light than just the dim tomb-lights. I wanted to see the expression on her face right now.
"We could build a Ghostfence running for miles, one not even a god could break."
And to think that a mere hour or so ago I’d been worried Almalexia would react badly to my blasphemous suggestions. It seemed that in this, too, she was determined to leave me in the dust.
In the gloom, it was almost too easy to imagine it. Take the ghostfence protecting us now, layer a thousand like it into the same place... it would rise dozens of feet into the air, the blue light would be blindingly bright, visible from miles. No Tongue would be able to breach it, no army destroy it.
The hair on the back of my arms rose. The just-healed skin on my arm throbbed, the remaining smears of blood I'd missed when cleaning it off itching where they’d dried. Perhaps Almalexia had taken the whole thing a step too far too quickly for me, perhaps it was my own narrow-mindedness, perhaps even Azura whispering into my ear — whatever the reason, the image filled me with forboding.
How handy that there was a completely different reason to object to the idea.
"You say the clans wouldn’t let us into their tombs, and then you suggest that? I’m fairly sure Telvanni Uluthrel would fall over in apoplexy at the very idea. And Voryn might actually murder you — the Dagoth are very protective of their own." I shook my head. "I can’t see it happening. I’m sorry."
But Almalexia seemed undeterred. "Not anytime soon, certainly. But with enough time, enough power, if the need is great enough…" A pause, pregnant with possibility. "We shall see."
I was saved from working out how to respond to that statement by voices at the entrance.
For an instant, my hand went to my spear — this ghostfence was not the grand one of Almalexia’s dreams, not even the strong barrier around Indoril’s main tomb, and if the war-band had returned with reinforcements they might yet breach it — but only an instant. Then, I listened more closely and realised that the voices were speaking Chimeris.
And that one of them was quite familiar.
"Nerevar! Almalexia! Are the two of you in there?" Alandro Sul called out.
I sprang to my feet, a broad smile pulling at my cheeks. "Cousin! You’re a sight for sore eyes- or voice for sore ears, it should maybe be-"
In the hubbub of reunion, between Sul teasing me for needing to be rescued, myself and Almalexia arguing firmly that we’d had a plan, thank you very much, and the requisite sacrifices to ensure the ancestors were appeased, I put Almalexia's plans for a grand Ghostfence entirely out of my mind.
Ranis scowled at me when I entered.
"Apprentice. I expected you back yesterday."
Obviously. Because, after all, I was the slave of the Mages' Guild who was not permitted other responsibilities or interests, and was to come hastening back to Ranis immediately after finishing my work so she could set me my next task. If she were very generous, she might permit me the time to eat or sleep, but this would be a gift on her part which a peon like myself was obviously not entitled to.
Having a self-preservation instinct, I did not in fact say any of that.
"Is Tashpi Ashibael dead?"
I flinched internally at the reminder of what I'd been set to do, then steeled myself. Time to lie.
Not that I was planning to claim I'd killed the woman. That would be far too easily uncovered with only a few queries to Maar Gan. However, what I could do was...
"Unfortunately not. When I arrived in Maar Gan, she wasn't there, and her house had been cleaned out. She must have heard about this and fled."
This lie could in theory also be uncovered, but hopefully not nearly so easily. Tashpi had promised to keep her head down and try to stay out of sight until she left, so as to give the impression she'd actually left town earlier. More, precise dates were one of those minor details that often slipped people's minds quite quickly. With luck, even if Tashpi was spotted after my claim that she'd "already left" and that person had either seen or heard of my visit, they wouldn't be certain, wouldn't be able to attest that Tashpi's departure was definitely afterwards.
No, this lie could hold up. Provided, of course, I managed to sell it now.
"I admit that... maybe I wasn't as careful as I could have been. I had some urgent business in Ald'ruhn which I had to see to before travelling to Maar Gan, and I did end up talking to a friend about my plans at the strider station." This was the flimsiest part of the lie, of course. If Ajira was right and the whole thing was trumped up, I could hardly claim that rumours of Tashpi's being a necromancer might have spread, and trying to pin the 'blame' onto Ranis would definitely not go well. No, I had to somehow own the leak. "There was a strider to Maar Gan not long after... it's possible a friend of hers overheard me and warned her. I admit I wasn't expecting it — figured the necromancy would be enough to make any friend think twice."
Ranis' scowl deepened. "Foolish," she scolded. "Very foolish. Especially as the guild expects a certain level of discretion in our agents, for the reasons you just saw. Which means you shouldn't be sharing details of your duties, Apprentice, and certainly not where they might be overheard."
Would you look at that. Presented with a superficially valid reason for telling me not to talk about her missions with outsiders, Ranis had pounced on it. Next she'd-
"It is also highly unprofessional to allow the details of your mission to become guild gossip, apprentice. And so the expectation of discretion does extend to other guild members too."
Nailed it. Of course Ranis had to take this opportunity to get me to stay quiet about what she was having me do.
The smart thing would have been to smile and nod. Except that my earlier retreat in the necromancer's cave had used up my supply of caution for the day, and so I couldn't quite resist tweaking her nose a little.
"Oh?" I made certain my tone was surprised. "Edwinna never minded if I shared the details of her tasks with others. She encouraged it, even. Said it was good to learn from the wisdom of one's guildmates."
A muscle in Ranis' cheek twitched. "Edwinna," she said coldly, "was far more... lax... about certain matters. And, as she is not present, her approach is irrelevant. I expect discretion, especially as the tasks I set you are often sensitive."
Sensitive, of course, in this case being another word for inappropriate. As in, shouldn't be given to an apprentice, even if they'd been real guild missions.
But that was enough bearding the snow-bear in its lair for today.
"I understand, guild mistress. I'm sorry." I bowed my head in fake penitence. "I definitely wouldn't want to do anything that would cause gossip."
Sharing details with Ajira would, of course, not cause gossip. My friend kept secrets like pearls — hoarded, valued, handed over only rarely for good reason to those who would treasure them as well. Especially given how tenuous my situation was, her discretion could be relied on. And eventually taking this mess to Skink-in-Trees'-Shade — well, the Sadrith Mora guildmaster was known to be far-sighted and trustworthy. This could hardly be considered to be gossip.
But Ranis' pleased nod made it clear she hadn't spotted those loopholes. "Very good, apprentice. It will be particularly important for your next task."
"...next task?" I asked warily. I'd been hoping that, similar to Cosades, my failure at this task would leave Ranis so frustrated that she'd also demand I get out of her sight, and then only call me back in for more work weeks to months later.
Alas for my rapidly-shrinking free time, Ranis was apparently of a quite different bent. "Yes. And this is the most important one of them all."
She stood up behind her desk, palms flat on its surface. The new position made our height difference clear, which I felt was very unfair of the universe and a clear sign of prejudice against the height-challenged.
"I want you," Ranis said, "to find the Telvanni spy in the guild."
Say what?
Notes:
Please thank the excellent A Collection Of Unmitigated Pedantry blog and its post on oaths, without which Almalexia's oath to the Indoril ancestors would be significantly worse than it is now. (Fantastic resource for all sorts of historical information and premodern worldbuilding, I wish I'd discovered it sooner!)
Chapter 29: Chapter Twenty-Seven
Notes:
...really sorry for the delay on this one. It's deeply ironic that managing to write more for this fic led to me posting much less, because I got so tangled up in trying to edit the entire thing at once. I'm trying to push myself to get the large amount of rough draft I have into a postable state bit by bit, so you may be getting more chapters not too long after this! No promises, though :').
Chapter Text
Ajira spent a long, long moment saying nothing.
"So I take it you have no earthly idea what Ranis is up to either?"
"Shh. Ajira is thinking."
Chastened, I turned back to my hackle-lo tea. We sat in silence broken only by the clicking of Ajira's claws tapping on the table.
Finally, she let out a long sigh.
"It is strange, very strange. Ajira sees no benefit here for the guildmistress. Unless she wishes to frame someone for friend Adryn to find, but Ajira doubts this. She thinks there are too many ways for this to go wrong, and easier ways to... remove people."
Exhibit A being, of course, Tashpi Ashibael.
"Exactly what I was thinking," I told Ajira. "I don't see what she'd get out of it if it's another set-up. But then again, if she really is worried about a Telvanni spy, telling a random apprentice with no skill for subterfuge to find them has to be the single worst possible way of trying to suss one out. Either way it makes no sense."
Ajira hummed in agreement, sipping her own tea.
I put my own mug down and stretched in my seat with a groan. "Whatever it is, I don't think we're going to work it out now. I'll just have to keep an ear out as I go on with the thing." And watch out for frame-jobs, considering that was still my leading hypothesis. "For now, we should be getting back to the guild."
Given the sensitivity of the topic, in particular the fact that Ranis Athrys had just asked me not to tell any other guild members about what she'd been ordering me to do not half an hour ago, Ajira and I had once again escaped to her home for a shared lunch break. Break time was drawing to a close, though, and besides...
"Are you planning any brewing this afternoon?"
Ajira looked at me knowingly. "Ajira was not. There will be customers, and she has reports to write. Friend Adryn is free to use the alchemy lab."
"Thanks! I promise I'll clean it afterwards. I should have the ingredients I need, but if I do need anything I'll check with you first to make sure it's all right and reimburse you, same as always."
I'd say this was the reason Ajira was the best of the guild alchemists, but really there were too many reasons to count. It was, however, a serious bonus, especially after the Ald'ruhn alchemist had turned up his nose at the very idea of allowing private brewing. Without Ajira's support I'd have a time and a half getting access to decent-quality potions.
With Ajira's support, I might be able to relegate that last sentence permanently to the past.
Shal floated in front of my mental eye again. The door, the sloping tunnel downwards, the undead guards — guards I could definitely get past with the aid of a few potions, I was sure. I hadn't made it all the way in, of course, but further down there'd be the necromancer's living quarters, workstation...
Alchemy lab.
I hadn't given up on the whole thing, especially not after that zombie. Something about seeing that poor person's corpse shuffling around — and almost certainly not animated by a willing soul, bound by dwevanchow rather than cardeyn — had significantly reduced the extent to which I was willing to offer sympathy. Depriving her of her alchemy equipment might not level the scales against forcibly chaining a spirit here instead of letting it reach the afterlife, but it was a nudge in the right direction. Most importantly, depending on what rituals she was using and what ingredients they needed, stealing her alchemy equipment might stop her from doing it to anyone else.
But I needed to be better prepared than I'd been yesterday. I needed some potions, for one. And I needed backup.
Dralsi surveyed the area with an eyebrow raised.
"I really don't know how I let you talk me into this," she said. "I could've robbed a nice manor, you know. In the middle of town. With windows."
I frowned. She really should know how I'd talked her into it, given that it had involved promising her all the proceeds from our next heist with Habasi and (Dralsi drove a hard bargain) a limited favour to be redeemed at a later point. Judging by her expression now, she was feeling taken advantage of, which smarted. I had done my level best to give an accurate picture.
"I did tell you it was a necromancer's lair in a cave. They don't usually go in for neighbours, or natural light."
Dralsi sighed. "Fools that they are. Well, an agreement is an agreement. Let's get to it."
With Dralsi at my side I descended again, picking my way downwards until shortly ahead of where I'd run into the zombie. Here, I held up a hand, and we both faded into the shadows.
I'd done some reading on the undead since my last attempt at this. Careful reading, considering that Tashpi had made it very clear just how much being suspected of being a necromancer could mess up your life. But in an odd way, that encounter could serve as an alibi — it would be easy to say that after having been sent after a necromancer I wanted to know how to best deal with, or preferably avoid, their minions.
And so I'd learned that undead hunted through sight and sound, and that although a bound spirit did have some ability to sense life-force, its ability to access that dwindled the stronger its chains and the more it fought against them. The skeletons, ghosts and bonelords in an ancestral tomb, a product of cardeyn who were bound only lightly and whose will aligned with their binder's, could sense intruders. In contrast, the fact that the zombie hadn't noticed me when I was here yet was another damning proof that whatever Ulver practiced had nothing to do with cardeyn anymore.
Another thing I'd learned was that although a necromancer could keep open a connection to their creations in such a way that they would know if one was destroyed, it took enough magicka that it was vanishingly unlikely for any to use that technique on a long-lived creation such as a guard. Far more likely that the zombie in question had been raised, given instructions, all spells necessary bound to the corpse and charged with magicka, and let loose. A creation that could act independently, at the cost of the necromancer's ability to know where it was or what it was doing.
At this point, I'd found myself intrigued. Any product of dwevanchow could not rely on the dead soul's own thoughts and judgement. No, the necromancer would have to override their will — but with said necromancer not present, that override would have to take the form of instructions and commands, simple things like if you see an intruder, attack them. Without the weight of an intelligent mind behind them, such things had to have loopholes. Surely, with enough effort, one could find a way...
When I tried explaining this to Dralsi, she'd simply looked at me and sighed.
"You know what? Let me take care of the zombies, kid."
And so I watched from my shadowed alcove as the zombie rounded the bend of the corridor, stared into the gloom, turned around to make its way back and-
-Dralsi stabbed it from behind.
There was a horrible squelching noise as she drove the dagger through the back of its neck into its brain. For a long, terrible moment it stayed standing. I thought frantically about what we'd do if this hadn't been enough to destroy it and we now had a zombie which would definitely be executing the "if attacked then kill intruders with prejudice" protocol...
Unnecessarily, it turned out, as it collapsed in a pile of slightly rotting limbs.
Maybe it was just that I'd learned a lot about necromancy in the past few days, but I almost thought I could feel something break free of the corpse as it fell. Something weightless, insubstantial, like the breeze caused by a butterfly's wings, like the figure limned in light I'd seen at the Shrine of Pride. For a breath, it seemed to hover in the air. Then it was gone.
I let my head dip forward in the tiniest of bows. Whoever you were, I wish you safe passage to the afterlife. May your soul never be chained again.
"See?" Dralsi whispered. "Easy."
And it was. There were two more zombies on the way down, which Dralsi dealt with the same way. Then, finally, the tunnel opened up into a large chamber, one lit by the flickering orange glow of real firelight instead of the magelights that had accompanied us so far. My Detection spell, useless against the undead, also chimed to life: there was someone ahead.
Beside me, Dralsi turned her head towards me, a silent command: Well? Your turn.
Ulver had built herself a little camp at the far end of the chamber — a wooden platform walled off by guar-hide standing screens. In front of it was a firepit filled with a crackling blaze and topped with an iron cooking-pot. Homey and inviting, assuming one focused solely on said camp and not to the... work area... off to one side. In particular, the object of said work.
Where was she even getting all these corpses from? Especially considering that Morrowind took the proper treatment of mortal remains very, very seriously. It wouldn't be easy to abscond with even one body before it was taken by the Temple, let alone the number we'd seen here.
I swallowed as I realised this question might have one very obvious answer, and that this whole mission might be even more dangerous than I expected.
But if she was an unrepentant murderer, she wasn't acting like one right now. Nor was she acting much like an evil necromancer — not that I had much experience of evil necromancers, but I assumed cackling featured heavily. Instead, Ulver was sitting perched on the steps up to her camp, occasionally giving the contents of the pot a stir but with her eyes glued to a book the whole time.
Maybe it was an evil necromantic book?
No, I discovered after sneaking closer. That lurid cover was something I'd expect to see in Masalinie's collection.
I sternly reminded myself that bad taste in literature was not, in fact, a crime and could not be used to argue a compound of the necromancy offense.
More to the point, the fact that she was cooking dinner made for an excellent opportunity for this particular alchemist. Silently, I slipped a potion vial from where I'd secured it on my belt, uncorked it, and waited for an opportunity.
I didn't have to wait long. After a minute or so, Ulver put the book to one side, got up and walked over to the would-be zombie on the table.
Evil necromancy, at last. However, I didn't have time to properly be appalled by the sight. As soon as she turned her back, I focused.
Telekinesis wasn't usually the fastest of spells, but I'd put a lot of practice in over past months in the hopes that my unusual abilities in the Mysticism realm might come in handy for once. I didn't know if it was any faster than what the non-learning-disabled could do — or should that be people not using the Chimeris school? Terminal embarrassment or no, I really had to talk to Beyte Fyr again at some point — but felt that the bottle zipped over to the pot with a nice turn of speed. It emptied itself and floated back to me all while the necromancer was still muttering at the corpse.
I breathed a quiet sigh of relief when the soup, or whatever it was, didn't explode. My favourite sleeping potion was close to tasteless, heat-resistant, quick to act and both effective and safe at a large variety of dosages, but it did have that one unfortunate reaction with peppers from the southern Elsweyr deserts. Given the price of those here in Morrowind even before the quarantine, I'd figured that the chance she'd be cooking with it was low... but low wasn't nonexistent. Blowing our cover more literally than usual would have been an extremely embarrassing thing to do with Dralsi watching.
Also, of course, potentially end up with both of us replacing the zombies Dralsi had destroyed on the way in, but that was obviously the lesser concern.
Food safely drugged, I could now listen to what the necromancer was saying. I'd assumed this, at least, was proper evil necromantic chanting, but...
"-piece of drek, been working on you for four days and the stupid spell's still not holding, I'm starting to wonder if this is a soul gem or glass-"
Let's just say that if this was how you raised a corpse, we'd have a lot more of them around.
Finally, with a huff of disgust, the necromancer turned away from the body, and back to the cooking-pot.
Whose drugged contents I hoped were almost ready to eat by now, because I didn't know how long I could stay like this without my legs cramping.
Also, I wasn't too sure about having the necromantic workstation in the same general area as food preparation, especially given that in alchemy, we always tried to maintain a strict separation between the lab and the kitchen for obvious reasons. I'd seen the woman flick red magicka over her hands earlier in the characteristic gesture of a disinfection spell, but that could only deal with so much. It was clear there wasn't exactly a separate room to spare, but I thought she could still have put a little more distance between the two areas.
The necromancer, unaware of my sidetrack into sensible hygiene precautions, did however unknowingly answer my hopes about cooking times, because after a last stir (good, I thought, make sure the potion's dispersed) she grabbed a bowl from a small siderack and dished herself a portion.
Looking at her, I felt almost sorry for the woman. Ajira's gossip hadn't painted her in a good light, and I still felt shivers of horror thinking of the zombies we'd encountered, but here and now I didn't see an evil necromancer. I saw a Dunmer woman somewhere in the vague centuries of middle age who looked tired. Who looked, above anything else, unhappy. And small wonder, I thought. Living in a cave in the middle of a swamp guarded by zombies couldn't be anyone's idea of a good time.
I wondered how she'd gotten here. Ajira's story had been a little sparse on the details, and it looked like my filling in the gaps with cackling might be a little inaccurate.
Well, I'd have time to poke around in just a little while.
At first I was concerned because the necromancer was picking at her food, but after a few minutes she made a face and started clearly forcing herself to chow down. I guessed she wasn't a good cook. I, on the other hand, remained an excellent alchemist if I said so myself — a few minutes after that, her eyelids started to droop, her head nodded, she caught herself in a yawn...
She set the bowl aside and rubbed her eyes, but willpower was no match for the determined force of a suspension of bonemeal and powdered marshmerrow steeped with shalk resin. It didn't take long until she was slumped on the ground, eyes closed, although I waited until I heard soft snores before I ventured out of hiding.
Dralsi strolled out to join me, cool as anything. "Nice work," she said. "I might have to buy some of that potion off you sometime."
I fought the urge to preen. Dralsi wasn't the master to my apprentice, or owner to my dog. I was a highly competent thief and alchemist in my own right, thank you very much, and didn't need anyone's approval. Dralsi's statement should not be making me feel as though I'd just swallowed something warm — the most I should be experiencing was happiness that I might have snagged a customer.
A customer I could actually serve, if we found the alchemy equipment.
It turned out to be hard to miss. Apparently I'd been so distracted by the corpse — which, to be fair, was indeed very distracting, being dead like that — that I'd missed the alchemy set up on the table behind it.
First verdict: this equipment was definitely not sitting on a shelf gathering dust.
Second verdict...
Dralsi's nose wrinkled as she looked inside the alembic. "Are you really sure you want these? Because, you know, we could just set them on fire and bury the remains."
"I see your point, but you'd be surprised what a strong acid can do," I told Dralsi. "I know how to clean equipment back to the point where you'd think it was fresh from the crafter." It was a necessary skill for any alchemist — given the potentially volatile interactions between even trace amounts of ingredients, using badly cleaned equipment was the alchemist equivalent of going up to the Archmage of Winterhold and blowing a raspberry: a significant shortening of your lifespan in a way that would almost certainly involve explosions.
Of course, this also meant any alchemist worth their salt quickly learned to clean their equipment immediately after use. It didn't matter if you were tired, hungry, had customers beating down door, or had misjudged the amount of bristleback hair and were in the process of going blind from the fumes, any alchemy textbook would tell you sternly. You cleaned it anyway. Or at least put it to soak if the blindness was progressing too rapidly.
Which meant the filth-encrusted equipment on the table made me want to cry even before I looked closely at what it had been dirtied with.
"Don't worry," I murmured to the alembic. "You're in safe hands now. I'm going to make sure you're all right and this never happens to you again."
Any and all guilt for robbing the woman vanished. Who cared about the necromantic rituals — nobody who treated their tools like that deserved even an apprentice's mortar and pestle, let alone Master-class equipment.
I glanced back at the corpse.
...all right, so I still cared about the necromantic rituals.
It didn't take long to secure the equipment for transport, especially because transport in this case was going to be the propylon index, meaning that although we did have to make sure to be touching we at least didn't have to figure out a way to lug multiple large, awkwardly-shaped, extremely fragile objects through the swamps — or at least not right now. I was ready to leave at that point, but Dralsi balked.
"First off, I want to dig through her stuff to see if she's got any other valuables. Second, we need to figure out what we're doing with her." Dralsi gestured towards the unconscious necromancer who was still snoring deeply. "Because let me tell you, I do not want her tracking us down and coming for revenge."
My first impulse was to protest that this seemed unlikely to happen - how was she supposed to know who to come after? She hadn't even seen us before falling unconscious! I swallowed it out of reflex. Like it or not, at this point Dralsi was someone I wanted to impress, and she seemed to think there was a risk. What was I missing?
Well... there was certainly one thing. Necromancer or no, the woman had been a guild member for a while. She might still have contacts there... and it'd be more luck than I could expect if my suddenly being able to brew and sell high-quality potions didn't make it into guild gossip.
How lucky Dralsi was with me, really. She had this strange thing called foresight, or possibly ability to anticipate consequences, which I'd somehow never quite developed.
"All right. Let's do it your way," I said.
Apart from various magical paraphernalia I'd never seen before and strongly suspected to only be useful for one very specific school of magic, our local necromancer didn't have much to her name. Dralsi's expression grew sourer and sourer as she dug through anywhere that looked like a good hiding place for valuables to come up with a sum total of seven and a half drakes. I poked through the closet (only two robes, two shirts and a single pair of pants, accompanied by the sorriest, most ragged collection of undergarments I'd ever seen), the bookshelf (four romance novels, no necromantic tomes in sight), the crates (saltrice, saltrice and more saltrice), the bed...
I blinked at the stuffed guar toy tucked under the threadbare blanket, then turned resolutely to my next objective. No point in lifting that, obviously. It wouldn't be worth much, but more importantly, I wasn't a monster.
The desk was where I finally struck gold. Next to the chipped inkwell bearing its bedraggled quill lay a thin, unlabelled booklet. When I flipped it open, I discovered the necromancer kept a journal.
Keeping a diary was fashionable across Tamriel, diarists running the gamut from high-positioned nobles like Queen Barenziah herself to anyone who could scrape together the drakes to buy quill, ink and paper. I knew Fjaldir and Do'kharza had both kept one, as had Charon, and I'd seen Jamie scribbling away in a booklet by the fire in Hlormaren. I myself had never actually seen the appeal. There were so many things that had happened in my life which I desperately wished I could forget, why would I voluntarily commit them to the permanence of ink so that I'd never be able to escape them? Or worse, so someone else could find the thing and enjoy my humiliation? I'd been on too many burglaries where we managed to lift someone's diary to think it could possible be safe from prying eyes. Why would anyone bother, I'd always wondered.
Looking around the desolate cave, I suddenly had a whole new understanding of the habit. After all, it certainly didn't look like Ulver had had anyone else to talk to.
Squashing down my unwarranted surge of sympathy, I let myself settle gingerly into the rickety chair and flip through the journal.
The first half was innocuous, telling Ulver's story as a Mages' Guild apprentice focusing on Enchantment and all the ups and downs that entailed. I could recognise the Balmoran guild from her description, although the fact that Ulver had been friends with Galbedir and not cared very much for Ajira showed that she was, in my opinion, possessed of extremely bad taste. More importantly, there wasn't so much as a whisper of necromancy. This might just have been prudence — if you're engaged in an illegal practice, it's best not to produce written evidence for it — but I'd seen too much ill-advised honesty in diaries to believe this likely.
Especially because of one particular entry halfway through the book.
15th of Last Seed, 427 Third Era, Shal
I can't believe this is happening to me.
I thought I'd covered my tracks. Shaken Fabanus off my tail. Made a clean new start. Barely anyone's travelling to Vvardenfell these days, not with the whispers about the Ghostfence growing weaker, I figured who would possibly find me here?
But yesterday morning Ranis Athrys called me into her office and said I'd been accused of necromancy.
I thought I might still be able to get out of it, you know? After all, it didn't sound like they had any proof. But then when they searched my belongings, they found a copy of N'gasta.
As if I'd be stupid enough to keep something like that in the middle of the Guild! Especially since I hadn't so much as called up a ghost-flame since leaving the Deshaan!
Someone planted it. I still don't understand who, or why. Did someone from Selfora pass through Balmora and recognise me? And want to make sure that this time the charges would stick?
Not that it matters. The only way I could get away was by summoning a spirit, so that's that for my chances of claiming I was framed. And even if I did manage to work out who did this to me, it's not like I'm in any position to take revenge. Not when I'm stuck in some miserable cave out in the swamps and can't head back to town without the guards coming after me.
The remainder of the pages made for depressing reading. Afraid and wanting to defend herself — from her erstwhile guildmates, bandits, slavers, bounty hunters, the law, and generally what seemed like two-thirds the population of the island — Ulver had turned back to necromancy. In her journal she claimed to be reluctant, but (she wrote) it wasn't as if she had any better means of defending herself, enchantment being well out of her reach without soul gems or a means to fill them. And according to Morrowind law, she was doomed anyway — necromancers were subject to the death penalty and ex-necromancer wasn't a status the law recognised. With no chance of mercy, she saw no reason to hold back.
The bodies for the zombies, I learned, she'd gotten from a fight with two bandits... and, also, from Hlormaren. This had been after Jamie had cleared out the place (and I swallowed at this evidence of what that process had apparently entailed) but before we'd made a base in the dome. I made a mental note that we should make sure to keep that locked, as apparently being in the middle of the wilderness wasn't enough to stop people from poking around.
At any rate, Ulver had been trying to find a way off the island, but it had been hard going. Just when she thought she'd managed to score a berth on a ship that wouldn't ask questions or want to record her in the passenger manifest, the quarantine happened. She'd recently managed to find a smuggler willing to take her, but — claiming the risk of running quarantine — he wanted a full septim for it. Ulver didn't have that sort of money, not anymore. Hiding from the law in a cave in the middle of the wilderness made it hard to earn any. The ever-worsening paranoia and increasingly tenuous grasp on reality I read between the lines couldn't make things easier. By the end she seemed to be even more afraid of a sudden attack by hostile spirits than bounty hunters.
Dralsi gave me a long look when I closed the journal. "Well? What do you want to do with her? Fighter's Guild might have a bounty on her, but I'm not lugging her unconscious body back to Balmora, and heads get really messy really quickly."
I winced at that mental image.
Even after reading her journal, I still wasn't sure I actually liked this woman. I hadn't forgotten the zombie outside, the feeling of that spirit fluttering free from its chains. Ulver, apparently, couldn't care less. There was no hint of concern for the spirits she enslaved in the journal, no sign she viewed them as anything more than Dwemer automata when under her control or dangerous monsters outside it. Even her attempt to abandon necromancy seemed to have been done more out of pragmatism than any sort of moral qualms. That in combination with an underlying thread of selfishness left a foul taste in my mouth.
(Not, I reassured myself quickly, that I was being altruistic or anything. I simply... didn't like her narrow-minded focus and obliviousness to the consequences of her actions. That was all.)
No, I didn't like her. But — and it regularly astonished me that this concept was such a surprise to people — not liking her didn't mean I wanted her to die.
I did want her to stop doing necromancy. Maybe Morrowind culture was infectious, but the dead being allowed to rest in peace — or, failing that, being allowed to be unrestful in the manner and place that they'd wished for — seemed suddenly urgently important in a way it never had before. I'd never been much bothered by the witches' covens in Daggerfall, and more of those did necromantic rituals than not. But even if I went with my new strong moral objections to the practice, Ulver's journal made it clear that she'd been trying to give it up, and that the only reason she'd taken it back up again was the need to defend herself. If she left the island, took up a new name... she'd almost certainly stop using necromancy again. Her journal painted the picture of a woman who was pragmatic enough to make that decision on grounds of survival alone.
Although that was what she'd done in Balmora, and still necromancy had been the first thing in her toolkit when things got uncomfortable. No, if I was going to do this I needed to give her a little more of a nudge.
...the journal had painted a woman both selfish and pragmatic, true. But there had been that increasing thread of superstition running through it...
"Well?" I'd clearly been quiet too long, judging by the annoyance in Dralsi's voice. "She's not going to stay asleep forever, you know. Do I need to get out my knife and start sawing?"
I shook my head. "I know what to do with her."
About an hour later, everything was ready.
The camp had been destroyed, the bed ripped apart, the inkwell shattered against the wall, the desk overturned and bookshelves cracked, the stuffed guar lying on the floor. (Admittedly in one piece; I'd considered cutting the thing apart to really drive the point home, but when I met the soulful stare of its button eyes I found I didn't have the heart for it.) Over near the necromantic workstation, everything had been smashed into small enough bits that I hoped the absence of the alchemical equipment wouldn't be noticed. The corpse was still there, but I'd pocketed the glittering soul gem that the necromancer had been using. In the meantime, Dralsi had carved deep gouges into the table, as though a great beast had clawed at it. I'd have liked to do the same to the cavern walls, but we didn't have anything with us that could put a dent in solid rock — and Dralsi had fought enough with the wooden table, and flatly refused to repeat the procedure over at the camp when she was done.
I'd sighed, and done my best with alternate measures. Among my potions, I did have two flasks for increasing resilience in hot environments. Their effect wasn't particularly useful in this situation, but the emulsion of water, black anther oil and powdered firefern meant the potions were viscous, sticky and a deep red just a shade or two away from blood. I'd decided to sacrifice them for a good cause, and now the cavern walls were decorated with scrawled, dripping writing in as inhuman a hand as I could manage, with messages such as GET OUT or LEAVE THIS PLACE or LET ME GO LET ME GO. They looked, if I did say so myself, decently sinister.
"Still not sure this is going to work," Dralsi muttered as she joined me in the shadows. "I mean, you really expect a necromancer to be scared of ghosts?"
That had been my first thought, too. But her diary had shown a certain... trend. And besides...
"When you think about it, who'd be more scared of ghosts than a necromancer? After all, when it comes to your average everyday person like you and me, there's really no reason a ghost should care about us one way or the other. But a necromancer? Obviously ghosts will really hate a necromancer. And sure, their magic gives them control, but if that control ever slips..."
"Huh. I'd never thought of it like that before." A gleam in Dralsi's eye told me she was making note of the information. I shrugged mentally; if she thought she could use this elsewhere, good for her. "Well. Shall we?"
I nodded. "Let's do this. Make sure to keep hold of me."
It was only when I felt Dralsi's hand tighten around my wrist that I reached into my magicka for the final act of our play.
We'd kept a careful eye on Ulver during our preparations, especially the noisier ones, in case we needed to quickly drug her some more. She'd stayed completely quiescent until near the end, at which point she started shifting, brows furrowing and lips parting to form indistinct mutters as she came closer to waking. Close enough that if I just reached out with telekinesis and pinched...
Movement. A head slowly being raised, an arm coming up to rub at bleary eyes. The necromancer blinked once, twice as she took in the scene around her.
Then she screamed.
This scream might have to do with the destruction Dralsi and I had done our best to wreak, or the fact that although we hadn't been able to do away with the corpse we'd propped it up against the wall to make it look like it had moved. On the whole, however, I suspected it had more to do with the fact that the moment she'd started moving, I'd cast my Illusion spell. It was still only a minor cantrip, but with the benefit of the shadows where I stood and the flickering glow of the campfire I'd managed to stretch it to give me the appearance of a figure wreathed in darkness with glowing red eyes. Dralsi, crouching beside and behind me, should be invisible in the gloom, as should the crate pressing into the back of my knees.
"Outlander, your blasphemous ways have offended the ancestors." Unfortunately, I didn't know any spells that could alter my voice. Fortunately, the winter after we'd arrived in Markarth, Charon and I had snuck into a puppet-master's show, been duly amazed, and proceeded to spend the next several months learning how to mimic voices. It had been some time since then, but I hadn't lost the knack of it — at least, I thought I was doing a very credibly ghostly impression right now. "We demand you leave here now. Means have been provided. If we find you still here after the sun sets twice, we shall not be so merciful."
I quickly took stock. The necromancer, eyes wide with terror. Dralsi's fingers, damp with sweat, clamped around my wrist. That hand was pressed to the crate behind me. My other was fisted around a small tapered crystal.
I touched it with magicka-
The last I saw of the cave was the necromancer's eyes growing even wider.
As soon as I saw the Hlormaren propylon chamber again, I let the Illusion spell go and looked around. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw both Dralsi and the crate had made the journey with me. I certainly hadn't wanted to abandon Dralsi to the necromancer's tender mercies. As for the crate... well. I'd figured it would work, since I'd brought furniture to Hlormaren this way before, but you never knew. And it would have been very embarrassing to go to all that effort and then not get what I'd originally come for.
Dralsi stepped away. "I can't believe you left her money. You're such a soft touch."
Accusations of altruism never failed to make me wince. In this case, however, I figured I had a good defense.
"It's no good threatening her to leave the island if she can't. This way, she has just about enough money to pay the smuggler. Besides, I can afford to be generous. She's going to be financing my future business."
At that point, I couldn't resist. I opened the crate.
Teleportation had some significant advantages over other transport methods, I had to say. Moving fragile wares such as an alembic over land always carried the risk of breakage. I'd carefully packed all the glassware in the necromancer's robes, just in case, but the contents hadn't so much as shifted.
I drank in the sight of a full, intact Master's alchemy apparatus. In fact, given that Morrowind generally worked by the rule of finders keepers and the original owner had, according to Ajira, left the island, it was now unequivocably my Master's alchemy apparatus. Possibilities multiplied in front of my eyes, delicate potions I'd never attempt without the fine-tuned temperature control of a quality calcinator, ones requiring careful, multi-stage distillation completely impossible in a simpler alembic...
...and, of course, even the potions I could make in simpler equipment would be so much purer, more concentrated, so much higher quality. Apart from the boost to my professional pride, that also meant they commanded a higher price.
Financial security floated in front of me, close enough to grasp.
At my side, Dralsi heaved a sigh. "Let me know when you're done drooling, will you? I want to get back to town eventually."
I ignored her with all the aplomb of someone secure in her future.
Unfortunately, it wasn't quite so easy as that.
I had the equipment, but what I was still missing was the space to use it. Hlormaren was a poor choice. Not only did I prefer not to have to trek through swamplands for half a day whenever I wanted to brew a potion, but no part of the fortress seemed to have adequate ventilation, let alone a proper extractor. I had managed to go a surprisingly long time ingesting only a minimal amount of toxic fumes, and my lungs would no doubt prefer that trend to continue. Dragging everything outside every time I brewed something was an option... but that came with added risk from the elements, wandering bandits or outcast necromancers, never to mention the biggest danger of all: if I tripped carrying my new alembic, I would never forgive myself.
Which left me back at the list of properties Neminda had given me. I read the description of the one shell-house that I was within a hair's breath of being able to afford so many times I ended up not needing the pamphlet because I could almost rattle it off by heart. It had more than enough space for my needs, and since the prior residents hadn't died from smoke inhalation (I assumed), ventilation shouldn't be a problem. Never to mention that since this was in the middle of town, it'd be easy enough to beg or hire one of the craftsmen who worked with the Guild to help me set things up.
If only it was the tiniest bit cheaper...
At one point I actually went to see Neminda to see if anything new had come onto the market. Nothing had, but — she informed me sternly — she'd spoken to Lord Morvayn about allowing me access to the manor. "He's dragging his feet," she said with a twist of her mouth. "Thinks he can wring out some concession in return... Nine save me from political posturing when there's something important at stake. But I'm working on getting through to him. I'll send a messenger when he does — we'll have to strike when the iron is hot."
Oh, right. I did have those other obligations. Ones I had, regrettably, agreed to not so long ago. The fact that I now wished I could travel back in time to shake that foolish past self — didn't she realise there was alchemy to be done? — was irrelevant, as it would certainly not be accepted as an excuse by Jamie.
Or Athyn Sarethi.
And least of all by the Redguard currently looking at me with narrowed eyes as though she knew what was going through my mind.
"Thank you for letting me know. It's a pity about the delay, but good to know we'll hopefully make progress soon. I'll be ready as soon as he gives permission," I told her, doing my best to masquerade as a good investigator who was just raring to go asking questions and definitely not daydreaming about potions right now.
And then I made a decision.
"Where did you say the housing office was, again?"
Five minutes later found me down the hall, straining my Dunmeris to its utmost in a conversation with an earnest-looking Dunmer woman, the pamphlet for the shell-house spread out before us (redundantly, for me).
Ten minutes later found me on the street in bitter, bitter disappointment.
I usually wasn't one to wish ill on people. But whoever had come up with the concept of a deposit should be banished to Oblivion.
Chapter 30: Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Text
"Welcome to Vivec, the Guild of Mages hopes you did not find the trip uncomfortable and that you will enjoy your... are... are you all right?"
The guild guide broke off her practiced speech mid-sentence in favour of squinting at me in concern. I'd say that I was ashamed to admit I'd forgotten her name, but that would be a lie. I wasn't ashamed in the slightest. Forgetting her name was a good sign, was in fact the intended outcome of my current life strategy of avoiding Vivec as much as possible. Being here enough to remember it would be a cause for concern.
"You're looking a little ill," the deliberately forgotten guild guide continued. "Are you sure you should be up and about instead of resting or visiting the Temple?" Then, after a moment, "...you haven't been exposed, have you?"
The look of concern was quickly transitioning into one more appropriate when faced with an angry Dremora — or, I supposed, a potential plague vector. This wasn't the first time I'd noticed that especially Imperials were likely to treat the threat of the Blight as deadly serious, in strong contrast to the Dunmer-typical skepticism. I could appreciate someone viewing the situation we were in with due caution, especially as I was still more inclined to their view of the matter on the whole, but had to admit to some irritation when it resulted in me getting threatened with an isolation ward for the crime of looking a little out of sorts.
"I haven't, I promise. I just..." really hate this place was definitely not a particularly diplomatic thing to say, "didn't sleep well last night."
Also the truth. For some strange reason, every time I closed my eyes I had visions of disaster in Vivec, both past and potential.
Alas, despite every fiber of my body screaming at me to stay away, I had two very pressing reasons to be here. The first was that Ranis was getting increasingly annoyed by my making absolutely no progress on finding the Telvanni spy (the reasoning of which could be accurately summed up in two words: but how? ). I was keeping careful track of the proportion of ominous threats versus regular condescension in use whenever she spoke to me, and it was rapidly nearing a critical level. Vivec, I knew, held the Guild recruitment records. Records I wasn't going to be permitted access to, but maybe pointedly loitering in their general area would convince Ranis that I was trying to do something.
I might still have risked doing nothing — surely whatever Ranis could do to me would be less painful than what awaited me here — except for the second reason. This one had been presented by Methal, who'd somehow steered me into a long chat over tea at the Temple. The man had truly mystical powers of persuasion, considering that I was there for the entirety of it and still didn't fully understand how it had happened.
"Are you planning to continue with the pilgrimages, Adryn?" he'd asked. "It'd be a shame if not, especially after finishing what is generally considered the most remote and dangerous one." He didn't mention which one that referred to, and I didn't ask. There was a certain level of sheer obviousness that was simply too much to inflict on the world. "According to our records, you only have the Gnisis pilgrimages and two of the ones here in Vivec left."
I'd frowned. That calculation hadn't matched my own. "Really? What about the shrine at Kummu?"
Which was how I learned that somehow, according to Temple records, I'd been marked down as having completed the pilgrimage to the Shrine of Humility in my first days on the island, weeks before I'd ever considered joining the Temple. To be precise, I was on record as having completed it on the day I'd first met Ervesa, when my flower-hunting trip to Lake Amaya had been interrupted by a pilgrim asking me to guide her to the shrine.
"But I didn't pray, or... or anything."
Methal's face was even. A muscle twitching at the side of his mouth made me suspect it was taking him some effort to keep it that way. "Although it's true that one typically has to fulfill the shrine's ritual, there are rare occasions where simply acting in perfect unity with what it symbolises is sufficient to trigger its blessing. In this case, you must have exhibited real humility and willingness to serve."
At that point, I decided to move the conversation rapidly onwards.
Still, even knowing that I was one pilgrimage closer to completion than I'd thought would likely not have changed my mind regarding Vivec, if there hadn't been Methal's last argument:
"I think Ervesa would be so happy if she came back from her rotation to find you a full member of the Temple. Don't you think?"
I should probably be worried about not just having a clear critical weakness, but having Methal know about it too.
Which brought me reluctantly to today, and Vivec, and an Imperial guild guide squinting at me suspiciously as though she might be able to see the Blight on me by force of willpower alone. (Perhaps, I thought, she ought to speak with Beyte.)
"Are you sure you're not-"
Luckily for me, at that point her eyes gained the peculiar distant quality I now knew indicated someone seeking transport, saving me from further interrogation regarding my status vis-a-vis the Blight and potential confinement pending a diagnostic check. With the guild guide busy, I was now free to take my leave and explore Vivec to my heart's content.
...was it too late to spring for the confinement instead.
I motivated myself by imagining an angry Ranis Athrys coupled with a disappointed Ervesa, and opted not to look too closely at the fact that the latter worked better than the former. What mattered was that it got me moving.
Naturally, disaster struck almost immediately. In this case, disaster took the form of a duo of men: one skinny Dunmer, hastening after an Imperial with a chest like a barrel in purple (purple!) robes.
Trebonius' expression brightened on seeing me. "Ah! Apprentice Adryn, isn't it?" That voice was more suited to sending signals across a mountain range than anything indoors. "Glad I caught you. I've been meaning to check on your progress."
My progress, of course, on the most insane of all the tasks I'd been given on the island so far, this being an extremely high bar that Trebonius had nonetheless passed with ease: finding out what had happened to the Dwemer.
"I was hoping to hear you'd finished by now," the Archmage of the Mage's Guild and clear inhabitant of a different plane of reality from the rest of us said with a frown.
Thankfully, knowing that it wasn't unlikely I'd run into Trebonius I'd mentally prepared for it. "Ah... it's turning out a little more difficult than expected, I'm afraid, especially with Edwinna's absence." I saw Trebonius' frown deepen and hastened onwards. "But I'm making progress! The recent shipments of journals were very handy, there was a new theory advanced by Calcelmo which-"
Just as I hoped, actual scholastic detail proved too much for the man. "Good, good. Glad to hear someone's giving their tasks the attention they deserve. I'm surrounded by shirkers these days."
My gaze drifted from our planarly challenged Archmage to the Dunmer standing at his side, tall frame slightly hunched as though hoping not to be noticed. It was the first time I'd run into Tiram Gadar in weeks, since I'd started avoiding the man after being warned about his treacherous research-stealing, credit-hogging ways. Now, a malicious impulse seized me.
"Are you working on anything for the Archmage, then?" I asked him.
The baleful stare he fixed me with said that Tiram knew very well what I was doing, but couldn't very well call me out on it in front of Trebonius. "Ah... not in the way you mean."
"Can't have my assistant off with his head in a book," Trebonius bellowed, coupling the sound with a back-slap that looked like it almost took Gadar off his feet. "Not when the place would fall down without him! Lucky we managed to steal you from Ocato, really."
"Oh?" I turned towards Gadar. "Are you from Cyrodiil, then?"
Lacking any other place to start in my new role as Mage's Guild agent for counter-espionage, I'd turned to small talk. Asking about people's origins could be handily explained away under wanting to get to know them better, and any spy, I figured, was likely lying for at least part of it. Maybe I'd be able to turn something up.
It hadn't led to much success so far, although it was interesting to learn about people's pasts. Marayn Dren, it turned out, was a member of a powerful Hlaalu clan which included both a Councilor and the governor of Vvardenfell, but preferred to spend his time as a simple Apprentice and barely had anything to do with his cousins. Tanar over in the Ald'ruhn guild came from the Indoril town of Davon's Watch on the mainland and eagerly escaped to Vvardenfell when it was opened for settlement. There were more Morrowind natives than I'd expected, really — the Dunmer were obvious, but even the technical-outlanders often professed to have been born and raised in the province. Ald'ruhn's Altmer guild guide Erranil, for instance, was apparently from Mournhold, the daughter of an innkeeper. Nor was Ajira the only descendant of freed slaves, Argonian Heem-La had told me. Imperial though it was, the Mage's Guild seemed to be a haven for Morrowind natives who saw it as an opportunity to advance free of House politics or discrimination against non-Dunmer. Those like Summerset-native Estirdalin were a minority.
There were, of course, a few who hadn't answered my questions. The Ald'ruhn alchemist Anarenen had asked me waspishly if I was trying to butter him up to gain access to his equipment (I just barely managed to stop myself from blurting out that I now owned better), while Sharn gra-Muzgob had simply fixed me with a narrow-eyed stare until I gave up and slunk away. For a long moment of silence, I wondered whether Gadar was going to be one of them.
As it turned out, it didn't matter whether Gadar was interested in letting me know his past, because Trebonius was more than ready to answer on his behalf.
"Indeed he is, aren't you, Tiram? Lucky for me we managed to hire him, too, a properly-educated mage for once instead of these... provincials we're surrounded with."
Trebonius dropped his voice at the end of the last sentence, to what probably passed as a whisper for him and was on the loud side of normal speaking volume for the rest of us. I wondered whether he was partially deaf. I wondered it very intensely, because the alternative would be to think on the implications of that derisive provincials and assaulting the Archmage would not do any good to my guild progression, length of time out of prison, or life expectancy.
“No, Tiram trained in the College of Winterhold itself!” Trebonius looked disturbingly like a proud father in that moment, an image I did my best to immediately banish from my mind before the idea of Trebonius reproducing could take root in it. If ever there was a thought to make my nightmares return from their unexpected but dearly welcomed vacation…
More to the point, that was not what I’d been expecting to hear. I liked to think that I was something of an expert on outlander Dunmer owing to personal experience, and I’d had Tiram Gadar pegged as a Morrowind native. He was just a little too comfortable here, a little too adept at navigating the subtler currents of Dunmeris culture.
And now Trebonius was saying he was actually from Skyrim?
“Winterhold, really?” I made sure not to let my suspicion enter my voice. It was really too much to expect my haphazard approach to counter-espionage to bear fruit, I told myself sternly. There was still every chance of this having an honest explanation, of me reading too far into things. “You know, I spent a few years in Skyrim myself. Markarth and Windhelm, mostly, but I did travel up north to Winterhold a time or two.” I opted not to mention that this had been on guild business, given that the guild in question had been a rather different one. “When were you there again?”
“Ah… I doubt we’d have encountered each other. I almost never left the college.”
It would be so much easier to tell myself I was on a wild goose chase if Gadar didn’t insist on making himself look more suspicious by the word.
“Not even to the tavern?” I asked innocently. “When I stopped by, half the customers were mages. The local innkeeper told me that the whole college showed up regularly, something about the quality of college meals and the Archmage disapproving of alcohol in the dorms.” This part was true. Now, for my trap. “You must’ve known her — Ingerte the White, Nord woman, great friend of the Destruction instructor from the sounds of it, used to be an adventurer decades ago and would share stories sometimes. A real character. Said the inn had been in her family for generations.”
The actual innkeeper had been a Bosmer man who complained every other sentence about ending up in the worst part of Tamriel, a flaw I had been more than willing to put up with in exchange for his cooking. I hadn’t been lying about how popular the inn was among the mages - anyone who’d actually attended the college would know that.
Except that Gadar was nodding. “Ah yes, Ingerte, the innkeeper, of course I remember her.” Despite the fact that I’d been the one to drop it, I had to fight back a flinch to hear my dead best friend’s name spoken so casually, so falsely. At least, I reassured myself, Ingerte would be delighted to see me using some hard-earned conversational skills — there was no way she’d begrudge me borrowing her for it. “She was younger then, of course - I believe this was all before your time.”
Well, then. What an interesting turn of events.
“I guess it must have been, yes.” I forced a friendly smile on my face even as my mind whirled.
Gadar was a liar.
What I didn’t yet know, of course, was whether he was a spy. There were many reasons someone might be lying about having been educated at a prestigious institute of magic (one notoriously, one might even say conveniently remote and insular - I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the only member of the Vvardenfell guild who’d ever been within a hundred miles of Winterhold). Many of those reasons were downright compelling in their simplicity. Perhaps, in the end, Gadar was simply a self-taught mage who’d discovered that none of the doors he yearned to pass through would open to him without the right set of papers, and then discovered a talent for forgery.
Or perhaps he was a Telvanni plant.
More investigation would be necessary to decide. More investigation would be necessary anyway, because I hadn’t forgotten who’d sent me on this mission. Who knew, maybe Ranis Athrys was genuinely sending me out after an actual spy and acting in the guild’s best interests, but given everything I’d been through with her until now nobody could blame me if I was skeptical. All in all, I wasn’t planning on giving her any names until I was absolutely certain that I wouldn’t be holding up an innocent to be framed.
Even if Gadar in particular made it tempting.
“But we shouldn’t tarry,” Gadar was saying to Trebonius. “Archmage, weren’t you talking about wanting to go over the Sadrith Mora records earlier?”
Extricating himself from this conversation as soon as he could. Cute.
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to keep you!” I exclaimed, eyes wide. I drew on my real and sincere desire to get out of Trebonius’ presence before he could heap another task on me to give it sincerity. “I need to head off anyway, I have some errands to run in Vivec. I was hoping to check the public Temple library for their documents from around the disappearance of the Dwemer.” I was hoping no such thing, actually, but with luck pretending I was busy working on his last task would be another nudge against Trebonius adding more to the pile. “I’ll see you around.” A sudden surge of malice made me add, “Maybe we can talk about Winterhold sometime, it’s so rare to meet someone who’s been to Skyrim in the guild.”
Gadar controlled his expression admirably, but I was looking and noticed a slight tightening of the corners of his mouth. “Ah… of course, of course. Another time. Archmage?”
Well, I doubted he’d be seeking me out again anytime soon. And spy or no spy, it was a relief to be safe from the man's research-thieving ways.
Trebonius huffed. “Good to see someone’s taking their responsibilities seriously around here, apprentice. Too rare, too rare. I'm glad to hear you’re working hard. Although next time I expect some actual results, you hear me?”
Those dark eyes were hard, the bushy eyebrows drawn into a hefty scowl. I fought down a shudder. A buffoon of Trebonius’ ilk who was clearly not inhabiting the same plane as reality as myself should not be able to intimidate me, I told myself firmly. And he should definitely not be reminding me of Cosades. Absolutely not.
“Yes sir,” I said. This, I decided, wasn’t succumbing to intimidation. Keeping the Archmage positively inclined towards me by pretending obedience was simply common sense.
“Excellent. Tiram, with me.”
And then he was gone, and the definite liar possible spy with him. I spent a few moments just taking deep breaths, thankful the corridor was empty.
All right. That was one part of my plan for Vivec done, and more successfully than expected, too - I hadn’t expected to get an actual suspect for Ranis’ Telvanni spy at, let’s face it, any stage in this investigation. I’d have to figure out a way to dig further into what Tiram Gadar was up to, but it was definitely a good start. Now it was time for the next step: finishing my missing pilgrimages.
Which would require crossing the whole of Vivec, all the way to the Temple in the far south.
I considered this, considered all the things that could possibly go wrong on the way, and let out a heartfelt groan.
Suddenly, I wanted Trebonius back again.
Miraculously enough, I made it all the way to the High Fane in the far south without any catastrophes occurring. No invasions, riots or tsunamis appeared, nor did the floating moon fall out of the sky. I squinted at my surroundings suspiciously as I passed. I felt they were trying to lull me into a false sense of security.
I had to fight back a twinge of reluctance as I passed the shrine I’d stopped at one and a half months ago (had it truly only been that long since the quarantine was announced?). Ervesa had mentioned that it was possible to repeat the pilgrimage and regain the blessing, and even though my memory of the experience had been soured by the announcement of the quarantine and the riot on its heels, flying around like that had been fun. I had to admit I was tempted to revisit the experience, even though it almost certainly didn’t qualify as religiously respectful, or for that matter unobtrusive. In the end, I only managed to convince myself to leave the shrine alone and my feet on the ground by remembering the argument I’d had with the shrine warden at the time. I still only had homebrewed potions with me, didn’t have Ervesa to act as a shield and evidence of Temple approval this time, and was certainly not going to buy a (no doubt inferior) potion just to satisfy their narrow-mindedness.
Especially as the next shrine, at the very door to Vivec’s palace, demanded money from me as well.
Given the Deposit Situation (it deserved capital letters, in my mind), I had a very hard time forcing myself to let go of the ten-drake coins. It was only by reminding myself that I was far enough from the amount I needed that this little extra hardly mattered that I got my hand to open and let them fall one by one into the offering bowl in front of the triangular stone. They clinked one after the other, then vanished into a golden glow. The light gathered around me, then faded away as well.
The light left me feeling refreshed and energized, the world looking a little brighter. It did not, however, leave me able to fly. All things told, I knew which shrine I preferred.
I started turning to leave and paused.
The door to Vivec’s inner sanctum was plain wood bolted with iron, no different from so many of the doors I’d passed through on my way here. It should be impossible to believe that just on the other side, perhaps only a dozen feet away, stood a living god.
Maybe it was because I’d seen Vivec emerge from his palace the day of the riot, but it wasn’t impossible at all. That door, that plain wooden door, made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, made my breath come short and cold sweat bead on my skin, as though I were in a nightmare and any moment it might burst open to reveal a monster.
I told myself firmly that Vivec was, by all reports, benevolent, and that moreover even if he’d been inclined to murder I was far too unimportant to bother with. It didn’t help. Everything I tried to lift in his defense - everything I’d been told since arriving on the island - was washed away by the memory of two mismatched eyes blazing with power.
I could not make myself turn my back on that door.
In the end I went back down the steps backwards, eyes fixed on that unassuming entrance that my mind had turned into the maw of some beast, fighting panic all the while. The fact that it was the middle of the day and the place was hardly abandoned didn't improve matters. It should have - a benevolent god would hardly murder a prospective worshipper in broad daylight, in front of witnesses! - but logic continued to not even make a dent in my fear, and so instead I had to deal with curious eyes as I backed away. I didn’t want to imagine what sort of impression I was currently maki-
“It’s good to see someone paying respect to Lord Vivec properly.” The voice was gravelly, age and the strain of the Dunmeris language having done a number on the speaker's vocal cords. I managed to dart a glance to the side to see an elderly Dunmer in rich clothes giving me an approving glance. “So many of the youngsters these days don’t even think twice about showing Him their back.”
“Ah. Much appreciated,” I managed to squeeze out. “Wouldn’t want to be disrespectful.”
An approving pat on the shoulder, then the man who’d spoken to me continued on his way up the stairs.
I felt a moment of displacement, stronger than it had been ever since those first few days on the island. What was I doing here, on these pilgrimages, trying to join a religious organization worshipping a god who terrified me, on an island where - try as I’d might - I’d never belong in the way of those who’d grown up there? Why was I even bothering ? Why not do things the way so many foreign-born Dunmer did, the way Dralsi was doing it - stick to fellow outlanders and Imperial guilds, not bother learning the language, leave the religion alone, and hold my head up proud when someone called me outlander ? Or get in contact with the smuggling groups and just plain leave -
Something in my heart twisted at the idea of leaving.
All right. All right.
Handily for me, halfway down the steps there was a low archway to one side. I ducked into it, collapsing against the wall once the door to the palace was out of sight. The wall in question was cold and damp with condensation, and I could feel an unpleasant wetness seep through my shirt. I didn't move. I'd probably regret that later, but right now the unmistakeable physicality of the sensation felt like what I needed.
Slowly, as my shirt grew soggier, the roaring in my ears subsided to be replaced by the sound of water lapping on stone. I opened my eyes - when had I closed them? - to be met with gloom. The wintry light only reached a small way into the entrance. Beyond that, dim magelights cast an eerie blue glow onto rippling waters and wet causeways. They were just barely enough to keep this place from being plunged into total darkness-
Just barely enough that I could make out words, etched bronze into the stone floor before me.
Enter the Puzzle Canal, O Pilgrim. If your mind be clear and undivided you shall find its heart.
It seemed I'd found the last of the Vivec pilgrimages.
I had wanted to complete the pilgrimages, I told myself, and shouldn't let myself be distracted from that by some odd, inexplicable moment of panic. I was above that sort of thing, I sternly informed my mind, which was fixated on the memory of the palace door looming in front of me.
Said memory declined to become any less terrifying. My feet remained rooted to the ground. My shirt was almost definitely soaked through by now.
I grit my teeth and resorted to dirty tactics. Dirty tactics consisted of the memory of Ervesa, head thrown back in a laugh, earrings sparkling in the sunlight, eyes sparkling with joy. That, I told myself, was what she'd look like if I managed to complete this. Didn't I want to give her that?
Like a Dwemer automaton that had just been refueled, I levered myself up from the wall, stumbling forward.
Having a crush was incredibly undignified and humiliating, and I hated weaponizing it like this. But in a pinch, one had to be willing to use all the tools at hand.
Now, to find my way through the maze.
I did not manage to find the shrine in the puzzle canal.
This was despite giving it a good try. Estimating time was hard in the gloom, but it felt like I'd spent hours down there. I didn't wander mindlessly, either, or at least not at the start. I remembered the tips for navigating labyrinths Dar’munaq, who'd been a brief and moderately successful adventurer and tomb-diver before deciding life as a thief was more lucrative with less risk of being torn apart by draugr, had shared over the hearthfire on winter evenings in Windhelm. I tried hugging one wall, then the other. Each time, I ended up back where I'd started. Then I took out a sheet of paper and charcoal-stick and tried sketching the maze. At that point, when I ended up back where I started, I at least knew for certain it shouldn't have been physically possible.
In retrospect, I should probably have known better than to assume a maze created by a living god would obey the usual laws of space. (I firmly ignored the shudder that ran down my spine at the thought of Vivec behind his door).
At that point, I did start wandering aimlessly. This probably qualified as reckless (at least Charon would no doubt have claimed so, and followed it up with a truly unjust even by your standards, Adryn ) and I usually wouldn't have done it. In this particular case, however, I thought the risk of getting hopelessly lost, dying of thirst and ending up as an ominous skeleton to serve as a warning for future pilgrims was minimal.
The reason being that no matter what I did or where I went, after a few turns I found myself standing at the entrance again.
Finally, I let myself stop to catch a breath. My stomach gurgled and my throat was dry. If I continued like this, I would end up as a warning skeleton no matter the fact that the exit was right there.
The words on the floor glinted at me mockingly. If your mind be clear and undivided you shall find its heart...
My mind was perfectly clear. I was in full control of myself, a bastion of willpower, all my intellect fiercely focused like a magnifying glass setting aflame tinder. Anything else was slander and I refused to have it.
If you're ever ready to stop running, I'll be here.
Ghost-spoken dream words whispered in the back of my mind. As I made my way back into daylight, I set my formidable willpower to the task of ignoring them as hard as I could.
Luckily, I was immediately given an excellent opportunity to forget about my embarrassing failure to get through a maze, along with the possible implications regarding my state of mind I had no intention of looking at too closely. The next day, a messenger caught me slumped over a cup of hackle-lo in the guild kitchen, wondering whether I could risk heading to the Eight Plates for breakfast or whether this would result in Ranis asking pointed questions regarding my progress. According to the note he pressed into my hand, Morvayn was still putting up a surprising fight, but Neminda had made progress in her campaign. Now, he wanted to see me.
And so instead of breakfast, gossip and Dulnea Ralaal's tea (I was so close to cracking the recipe, I swore-) I found myself knocking at the door to Morvayn Manor, stomach filled with butterflies rather than spiced rolls.
It wasn't that I wasn't used to places like this, precisely. It was more that I wasn't used to entering through the front door.
A Dunmer man in livery bearing what I suspected was some sort of Morvayn crest opened the door to give me a very suspicious look. My inherent aura of criminality and ne'er-do-well-ness must have been so strong that even after I explained Neminda had sent me, for a moment I thought that he'd send me packing. Finally, he heaved a sigh and gestured for me to enter. I trailed him through sumptuously-decorated hallways, past tapestries, hanging artworks and small vases or statues on pedestals that made my fingers itch. Resisting temptation was easier than it had been in the past, however. I only had to imagine Neminda's face and the mere thought of stealing anything vanished from my mind so thoroughly I probably wouldn't have been able to so much as define the word.
Finally, my guide halted at a richly carved door, knocked and waited for a response before pushing it open.
"Councilor Sarethi's investigator, milord."
"Thank you," 'Milord' said. And he was very definitely a lord. The velvet shirt, heavily embroidered and with the puff sleeves I'd learned through my time at the Thieves' Guild had been the height of fashion in the last few years... the jeweled hairstick... the heavy signet ring... every single detail of the room I was in, from the lacquered desk of imported wood over the crystalline figurines on one shelf to the paintings on the wall... all of it screamed nobility in a voice loud enough to be deafening. I felt like I was dirtying the air with my commoner presence just by existing.
Or maybe that was the look 'Milord' was giving me, one that managed to create the distinct impression that noses were being looked down without any actual upwards tilt to the face. Classic nobility, that. I wasn't sure if it was some sort of inherited trait or something they learned as children. The fact that I'd never seen Athyn Sarethi do it spoke for the latter along with a hole in his education (maybe the same hole that led him to think I'd be a suitable member of his house?). Or maybe it had just skipped a generation.
"I fail to see why this is necessary," 'Milord' said in a cutting tone. "My understanding was that Adept Rothrano had already cleared my household from suspicion. Although I am of course always willing to support Athyn in his endeavours, this strikes me as paranoia rather than reasonable caution." His eyes narrowed. "And his choice of an outlander who is not even a member of our House as his investigator frankly delusional."
I swallowed back the first thing that came to mind. Then the second. Also the third.
...in retrospect, sending me to interact with Redoran nobility might have been a little short-sighted on Sarethi's part. I hadn't complained about it too much at the time, mainly happy that nobody wanted me to handle the Thieves' Guild side of the investigation, but now that I was faced with a supercilious nobleman the flaws in this plan became clear.
Do not tell this overgilded decoration of a Dunmer where to stick his opinions, I reminded myself. Be diplomatic. Be tactful.
Thankfully, the fourth response I'd just thought of might, possibly, work.
"I'm certain Councilor Sarethi is most sorry for the inconvenience, milord. My understanding is that he is reacting to what occurred with V- his son." It had been hard enough to make that milord leave my tongue - there was no way I'd be able to call Varvur Lord Varvur or whatever Morvayn might expect and keep a straight face. "It was a tragedy already, and one that could easily have claimed even more lives than it did at that. He simply wishes to make certain something similar does not happen in your household. As for me... I've assisted House Redoran with its affairs in the past." I decided skimming over exactly how intentional that had been was the better part of valour. "And I... have some unique expertise in this specific subject matter."
There. Who said that I couldn't do diplomacy.
"Hmph. A sad day for Morrowind, when an outlander claims to be a higher authority than those who have for centuries dedicated themselves to the arcane mysteries of Sotha Sil."
If you ignored the obnoxious way it had been communicated, I actually had to agree with him here. The fact that I might genuinely be counted among the experts when it came to the statues was absolutely, utterly terrifying. But it was. From what I'd gleaned so far, my up close and personal experience with an ash statue and Hanarai's cellar was about as close as any of the Temple investigators had come.
"But Neminda has been most emphatic, and so I suppose I must open my doors to you all the same. What exactly were you thinking of doing, in your 'investigation'?"
"I'd like to speak to those in your household individually, first and foremost." I had to suppress a wince at the thought. This did not sound like fun to me, but Neminda had been insistent that it was necessary. She seemed to think it was possible I and my outlander perspective would turn up something the Temple investigator had missed. I was also planning to keep my Detection spell going the whole time, just on the off-chance that it'd turn up something. "If that's inconclusive, I'd also like to be allowed to search the manor."
I was forgetting something, I knew...
Oh, right. "Um, milord."
'Milord''s face had been steadily darkening as a spoke. Now, the storm broke.
"Search the- why, this is the greatest insolence I've ever been subjected to!"
Wait, was he actually serious? Well, I could definitely change that.
"And interviews — taking all my staff away from their duties, bothering my sons, my wife — no. No, I won't have it."
At this point I reached the limit of my patience. It was, in retrospect, a very predictable outcome. I wasn't sure this conversation could in fact have ended any other way. Why had Neminda thought this was a good idea, again?
"What, you'd prefer possibly dying or being C-" I took a deep breath, "being Controlled to a little inconvenience? To allowing an outlander into your manor? And yes, I know the Temple investigator said it was fine, but Varvur and I can both tell you from very close personal experiences that those statues are not something you want to joke around with. Your sons, your wife - you'd really rather put them at risk because of your pride?"
Wait... I was forgetting something again.
"Milord." See how diplomatic I could be even in times of extreme duress?
The silence stretched. Lengthened. The Redoran noble looked at me like I wasn't just a bug, I was a bug who'd gone and bitten him. Any moment now he'd have me tossed out on my ea-
"Fine."
Wait, what?
"You make a compelling argument." The man looked as though every word tasted like sewage as it left his mouth. "And Neminda has vouched for you, after all. I will permit you to conduct interviews. But," he followed up hastily, "only within limits. You may interview the staff, but my family have been bothered enough. Especially Brara, so shortly after the birth of our son — and surely we can both agree that the infant in question is above suspicion." It was clear that 'Milord' considered that particular interview on Rothrano's part ridiculous. I couldn't really blame him. "As for any... search..." he wrinkled his nose — the sewage was apparently now olfactory in nature, "of the manor, this will need to be discussed later, after the interviews."
Well. It was more than I'd been expecting, at this point.
"Thank you very much. When can I start with the interviews?" I was forgetting something- "Milord."
" Certainly not before next week, not with everyone busy with preparations for the New Year. I will let Neminda know a suitable time."
I wanted to protest, but I knew just from looking at him that there'd be no point.
Besides, this had gone so much better than I'd expected. When you win big at the gambling table, you ought to take your money and leave, not let yourself be sucked into trying your luck a second time.
"Thank you very much. I'll wait for Neminda's word then." I was forgett- "Milord."
'Milord' waved lazily. "Nindanit, show her out."
"Adryn, how nice to see you. I've been meaning to talk to you, but somehow I never quite managed to catch you."
Jamie's steady gaze, as well as the subtle, nearly unnoticeable emphasis she put on those words, made it clear that my recent actions had not gone unnoticed. I squirmed. Avoiding her had seemed like such a sensible idea after our conversation with Dralsi. A nice, simple way to dodge awkward questions about how exactly Dralsi and I knew each other. Right now, with Jamie doing a truly excellent impression of the senior sister at the orphanage having caught someone in a misadventure, I didn't know what I'd been thinking.
She was lifting an eyebrow. That was just unfair.
"Ah... right! Yes, we must have... just missed each other. What a pity! How lucky we met up this time!" I gave Jamie a helpful smile.
And could feel it begin to wilt as her expression remained unchanged.
"Luck. Right." Thankfully, at that point Jamie seemed to think she'd tortured me long enough. She shook her head briskly. "Anyway, now that you're here, any chance of a private conversation?"
I sighed and began to reach for my belt-pouch, where the Hlormaren index was stowed.
"-how about we take a walk outside town instead," Jamie said hastily. "It should be pretty deserted around this time of day, and year for that matter. I have a meeting with Neminda tomorrow morning, it'd be helpful if I wasn't stuck in the Bitter Coast at that point."
"No objections here." I'd seen a little too much of the route from Hlormaren to Balmora recently. In fact, I noticed that in certain places we were starting to build up an actual trail.
Luckily, Jamie turned out to be correct about the popularity of strolls to take in the scenery, as once we were off the main road we quickly found ourselves alone. The weather probably had something to do with this — it was chilly and uncomfortably damp, the sun hidden behind thick grey clouds that were clearly communicating that even if they weren't raining yet, they could change their minds on this matter at any moment. I tugged my cloak closer around me and quietly readied my Rainshield spell, just in case.
Jamie seemed familiar with the area outside town, leading me to a small clearing near a cave entrance. She made to sit on one large stump, but — after checking the surface and making a face — clearly thought better of it and decided to remain standing. Small wonder, given that our surroundings proved that if those grey clouds weren't pouring water on our heads right now, it was only a temporary pause, the break between acts. At least, everything looked far too soggy to make for a comfortable seat.
"We won't be long. I mainly wanted to ask... Neminda said you were talking about housing."
I blinked, surprised. This wasn't the topic I'd been expecting her to open with. "Ah... yes? I need space for alchemy... and besides, I'm getting really tired of not having my own space. I mean, just look at what we're doing right now." I gestured widely with my arms to indicate us, in the middle of the woods in winter, shoes getting wet, about to be rained on, because there was nowhere inside we could have a private conversation closer than Hlormaren. "Finances are a problem, though. There's one house I was looking at, but the rent is a little higher than I'd like... and more to the point, I can't afford the deposit." Bitterness dripped off my words. Three months' rent was nothing short of criminal, if you asked me.
Jamie nodded. "The single-bedroom house off Saint Seryn's Way, right?" Before I could wrench back my jaw from its ignominously open position, she went on. "I was looking at it too, since I hate staying in dorms all the time, but had the same problem." She paused. "I... did ask to see it, just in case. And I noticed it has a storage room in the downstairs area which could be turned into another bedroom."
Wait. Was she suggesting...
"You want to share it?"
"Why not? I've got a decent amount saved up, between the two of us I think we could afford the deposit - and of course the rent would be much more manageable halved. I think we get along well enough, don't you think? At least it would take both of us out of the dorms."
Jamie, I decided, was a genius. Or maybe I was just a complete idiot? Because I hadn't once thought of splitting the place, except that now that she'd pointed it out it seemed like the most obvious solution possible. It wasn't as if I actually wanted a whole house to myself — a room and an alchemy lab would be more than enough.
Wait, the-
"And obviously I'd be all right with you setting up an alchemy lab." Were my expressions really that easy to read, I wondered. "There should be space for one."
"There is - I asked." It had been when I went to inquire about the house at the housing office, at the start of the brief, shining period of hope before the word deposit brought me rudely back to earth. "Sharing sounds like a good idea, I'd be up to try it."
"Wonderful." Jamie was smiling. That smile suddenly struck me as dangerous. "However, before we finalise anything, I'd like to clarify two things."
I wasn't sure I liked where this was going.
"First. As a member of House Redoran, I can't support any criminal activity under my roof."
And there we were. It'd really been too much to hope for that we'd be able to avoid the topic entirely.
I heaved a long sigh, wondering how I could possibly explain.
Jamie rudely did not take this as a sign that she should at least give me the opportunity to defend myself before scolding me, or - better yet - hold off on the scolding entirely. Instead, she continued. "I will admit I'm surprised at you, Adryn. You have your position in the guild, your potions and ingredients... whatever your past before, you don't need to get entangled in crime now. And-"
All right, I needed to say something before Jamie actually morphed into one of the sisters of the orphanage, headdress and all.
"I know, all right? I really did want to leave it all behind me when I arrived here, I just..." I waved my hand vaguely, searching for the right words. "I didn't have much choice."
Those had not been the right words. I silently cursed myself as Jamie jerked, hand falling to her sword, alarm all too visible in her widened eyes. I'd clearly allowed myself to let my guard down too much around here if I was admitting this sort of thing.
"Not much choice? Adryn, if you're in some sort of trouble — if someone is pressuring you to do something — I hope you know I'm always willing to help. So is Athyn, for that matter."
And now it was my turn to flinch in alarm. I could feel bile rise in my stomach just imagining the complete, absolute disaster that would be getting Athyn Sarethi involved in my situation with the Thieves' Guild. I might as well just set the South Wall Cornerclub on fire and let myself be arrested as an arsonist; the collateral damage would probably be less.
"That won't be necessary! It's under control. I'm handling it." For certain values of handling it. Said values were admittedly dubious but nevertheless superior to an out-of-touch noble stomping in and throwing his weight around. Given the delicacy of the situation, I didn't even trust Jamie to do anything that wouldn't result in me getting arrested or killed — Sarethi didn't bear thinking about.
Jamie still looked dubious. Time to try to sway her. "Look," I said, voice beseeching, "If there's anything you can help with, I really will let you know." I neglected to inform her that I personally foresaw a better chance of sunshine in Quagmire than this ever actually happening. "I am working on it, though. And I can promise you I'll keep any... involuntary criminal entanglements... well away from our home. Should Dralsi visit, she'll do the same."
Sarethi wouldn't have been convinced, I was sure. But Jamie and I were friends for good reasons, and one of them was a certain moral flexibility. I could see that I'd won in the fall of her shoulders.
"All right. Since that's the way you want it. Under the condition that you let me know the instant there's anything I can do."
Jamie really knew me far too well. Also, I really wanted to get off this topic now.
"Of course! But you said you wanted to clarify two things. What was the second one?"
"Ah..."
Now it was Jamie who was squirming - a shocking sight. Jamie was so forthright and confident in herself that I hadn't realised she could be embarrassed.
Although... was that really embarrassed? I couldn't make out any hint of a blush. Her eyes had flicked to the side, away from my face, but although that could very well be from shame something about those hunched shoulders and the way she was twisting her fingers whispered fear to me instead.
Then the shoulders firmed.
"There's something about me you should know, if we're going to do this. It's... private. I don't generally tell people, and I'd prefer you didn't spread it around. But concealing it would be awkward, if we're to live together."
That sounded oddly dramatic. Now I was getting a little afraid of whatever this secret was.
"I... all right?" I hazarded. "I promise I won't go blabbing about whatever this is. Not when it's something you want to keep to yourself."
"Thanks." Jamie still didn't look particularly relieved. "It's... did I ever tell you I ran away from home?"
And that was a conversational opener I hadn't been expecting right there. Really, what was she getting at?
But I knew what my cue was here.
"No, you didn't. What happened?" I prompted.
"I was thirteen, and so angry." Jamie's voice was quiet, as though even here she was afraid to be overheard. "My mother and stepfather were angry too. I was furious that they weren't listening to me, that they were just seeing who they wanted and not me. They..." She sucked in air like a drowning woman. "They were upset because to their eyes, their son had come up to them one day and told them he wanted to be their daughter instead."
Jamie's exhale didn't match her inhale. It was soft, slow, all the tension seeping out of her frame with it. This was the secret she'd agonized over, that she'd struggled to cut free from where it nestled. Now that it had finally been spoken, her first reaction was relief.
Mine, unfortunately, was confusion.
A son who wanted to be a daughter? But... Jamie was a woman. I'd never once imagined any different. I mean, one just had to look at her and see...
...she was tall, I noticed now, taller than me by at least half a head. I'd never given that much thought, not after my time in Skyrim had accustomed me to viewing the faces of those around me as a lowlander gazing up at cloud-wreathed peaks, but Redguards didn't generally have the same build as Nords, did they? Which made her unusually tall for a woman — unusually muscular, too, with broad shoulders, narrow hips and a strong jaw...
For a moment — as if someone had cast an illusion which ensnared my senses — I saw, in front of me, a man. One wearing his hair in many thin chin-length braids rather than cropping it close to his head, true, who was perhaps slimmer than typical with a feminine face, clothing in a woman's cut and — inexplicably — in possession of breasts, but still distinctly male.
The illusion popped like a foam bubble, leaving the woman I'd known since only days after my arrival on Vvardenfell staring at me. The corner of her mouth had tilted upwards into a faint smile, wry yet pained. It was as if she knew exactly what I'd just seen, had expected nothing else, and was hurt by it all the same.
Shame lanced through me, sudden and acute enough to make me wince. I dropped my gaze. Jamie's shoes, thick bonemould boots speckled with mud from our walk, seemed like a safe place to rest my eyes. Nicely gender-neutral. Safe from whatever had just gone through my head.
"Those who have made a study of the topic say that it's a trick of Boethiah's," Jamie's voice came from in front of me. Calm, quiet. Resigned. "To touch a baby in the womb and change its sex. The soul remembers what it was meant to be, even if the body doesn't follow suit. And there are ways of... narrowing the gap between the two. But for many people, it's more comfortable to think it the work of Sheogorath instead, and those like me mad."
There was no way I could have this conversation with Jamie's feet.
I glanced up to meet those dark eyes, grateful beyond measure when my mind didn't play any more tricks on me and Jamie stayed the woman I knew. "Many people... like your parents, you mean."
"Exactly." Jamie sounded... odd. Resigned, almost. It was a tone I'd never heard in her voice before, not from my forthright friend unwilling to let any injustice pass. As if there was an injury here which she no longer believed would ever heal. "They demanded I stop with my nonsense, asked me who'd put such ideas in my head. As if I didn't know my own mind, my own self. And... it was true I'd met someone, who helped me understand what had happened to me, why I'd grown up feeling like an impostor in my own skin. She knew... ways. Spells and potions, to help, to make my body more into what my mind knew it should be. But she'd told me that it was important to start as early as possible, with them. That at my age, waiting even two years could make them dramatically less effective. My parents... I knew that if I ever managed to convince them, it'd take even longer."
Slowly, the picture took shape before me. A young Jamie, angry, desperate, feeling time trickling away. Her parents refusing to budge. The only solution left...
"So you ran away."
"So I ran away," Jamie echoed. "I don't claim that everything that followed was for the good, but I still think it was the right decision. I'm a lot happier in my own body, for one."
She'd gained access to those spells and potions, then. She must have, really. A little tall and muscular she might be, but — my flight of fancy earlier aside — nobody would look at her without being told and think man. I hadn't even realised such a thing was possible.
I firmly clamped down on the impulse to ask what the potions in question were exactly. Perhaps later, I told myself. Right now it didn't seem entirely appropriate, given that Jamie was...
Jamie was what, exactly?
"I... you know I'm honoured by your confidence," I said slowly, assembling my thoughts as I went along. "And of course I won't share, given that it's none of anyone else's business. In fact, I'd say it's none of my business. Can I ask why you're telling me this?"
Jamie blinked at me, then laughed. It was a bark of a sound, as though I'd managed to surprise the humour out of her.
"Well, that's better than I feared you'd take it." I wanted to wonder how she'd feared I'd take it, but I didn't have to. Not remembering that moment where I'd seen a man in her place. "And honestly, I wouldn't have. But if we're going to live together... there's signs, you know. I still have to take potions every day. There are certain things they're not so effective on, and although I usually dress to downplay them I don't always want to go to the effort in my own home. And Nine forbid I forget to lock the wash-room door and you walk in on me undressed. It's awkward, living with someone who doesn't know. I'm doing it right now, in the dorms, and I'd rather not do it again."
"I... guess that makes sense. Even if I hope we can avoid any accidental nudity in either direction." That made Jamie laugh again. Relief suffused me to hear it. Given how tense she'd started this conversation, it was good to see she was relaxing. That, a quiet voice said, she wasn't treating me as a potential enemy anymore. "And by the way, since I'm going to be building an alchemy lab anyway, let me know if you want me to brew any of those potions for you? I mean, maybe you want to keep using whoever your current source is, but in my opinion it'd be ridiculous to be living with an alchemist and spending top coin on-"
I was interrupted by cloth against my mouth. Jamie's shirt, of a piece with her arms around me, squeezing me against her chest (and Boethiah's malicious touch or not those were definitely actual real breasts pressing against mine-), her braids tickling my cheek-
"Thank you, Adryn," Jamie said against my ear.
Unseen, my eyebrows drew together. I hadn't agreed to a hug. This was a violation of the Adryn personal space bubble that would not be tolerated! I readied myself to push Jamie away-
She was trembling faintly, I realised. I hadn't noticed before, but with her body pressed against mine I could feel the shivers.
I... could permit this hug to continue for a brief amount of additional time, I decided. Due to exceptional, one-off circumstances, of course.
"Careful, careful! The contents of that are very delicate-"
"Yes, so you've said. Multiple times." The woman rolled her eyes as she set down the crate. "And if you hadn't, I would've gotten the picture from the Feather enchantment. And the Shield enchantment. Never to mention the excess of labels. I'm not an imbecile, you know."
I felt heat rise in my cheeks as I glanced at the crate. In retrospect, maybe I hadn't needed to attach quite that many pieces of paper marked FRAGILE and HANDLE WITH CARE.
But who could blame me for hovering? If anything in that crate broke, I'd never be able to replace it.
Jamie, it turned out, had done a better job of saving than I had; she'd almost had enough to cover the deposit on her own. This meant that with my remaining money, I'd just about been able to hire a guar-driver to bring my precious alchemy equipment through the swamps from Hlormaren to Ald'ruhn. It had helped that Jamie had apparently done this Drulene Falen a favour at one point, which in this case translated to a sizable discount.
"Now, where do you want it?"
I fluttered around the woman as she brought my crate down the stairs, into the little underground room that would, in the coming days, be transformed into an alchemy lab. She set it down so gently that it barely made a sound. I suspected that the level of care was meant to be sarcastic exaggeration, but I was deeply grateful all the same.
"Thank you so much. How much do I owe you?"
The price she quoted was, I thought, a little higher than what we'd originally discussed. I suspected I'd lost myself some of my discount through neurosis. I did still have enough to cover it, although my purse was disturbingly lighter than it used to be. In retrospect, I could possibly have been a little less generous with our neighbourhood necromancer, or postponed the shrine at Vivec to a later date.
Still, I didn't haggle. It was only fair, considering how far I'd sent the woman out of her way and how lost I'd have been without there. In retrospect, I almost wanted to ask Ulver how she'd managed to get the gear to Shal in the first place — I was fairly sure there was no way I'd have been able to transport it that distance on foot without something getting broken on the way.
Falen thawed when I handed the drakes over. She thawed more when Jamie, from the top of the stairs, called out a question: would she like to stay for a cup of hackle-lo tea?
Right. Hospitality rules. I should probably learn about those, particularly in their local form, now that I was actually capable of having guests over.
Falen would not be our first, however, as she was shaking her head. "I'd best be getting off if I want to make it back to my farm before dark. But thanks. I might take you up on that sometime later… if only to hear the story of how you even ended up with a crate of delicates and a bunch of furniture all the way out there."
And then she was gone, and Jamie and I were left to rearrange our new home.
The house had come with some furniture already included - luckily so, given our financial situation. Still, it was furnished in a fairly barebones style, what I suspected was the legal minimum for renting. Jamie was currently sleeping on her bedroll, one of us had had to stand at breakfast every morning, and unless I wanted to brew on the ground the lab would need some shelves and tables. As such, we'd used the opportunity to have more things than just my (my!) Master's alchemy apparatus shipped from Hlormaren. The little chamber in the dome we'd used as a base was far emptier now, while Falen's cart had been filled to the brim.
Which meant that although I was more tempted than I'd ever been in my life, I had to leave the apparatus where it was in favour of carrying in tables and cupboards, hammering shelves into the wall, and (together with Jamie) maneuvering a beaten-up old bedframe down the stairs. The fact that I didn't abandon her to it in order to vanish into my (my!) new alchemy lab for the next several days spoke of my deep reserves of willpower, I thought.
All right. The fact that due to the New Year, the earliest appointment I'd been able to get for a ventilation shaft installation had been Loredas was also a good reason to hold off for now.
At one point, one of our new neighbours came out of his house to watch. He had a suspicious look on his face, but it eased when I spoke to him in Dunmeris, and vanished entirely when I took a leaf from Jamie's book and offered some tea. Unlike Falen, he accepted, necessitating a pause in our rummaging as we all relocated to the small kitchen — luckily now furnished with several extra chairs — to put on a kettle. (We'd had to scrounge up almost all our kitchenware from elsewhere, but the kettle, teapot and a full set of mismatched teacups had come with the house — something that I thought spoke volumes about the role of tea in Dunmer culture.)
Braynas Hlervu had lived in Ald'ruhn all his life, although he said he wasn't a member of Redoran. He didn't seem to be all too impressed by Jamie's affiliation with the House, judging by the way his mouth tightened when she brought it up. He was significantly happier to hear that I was planning to set myself up as an alchemist.
"There's the Temple shop, of course, but they mainly have the basics. Sintieve under Skar has a better range and can make things custom, but it's not like the likes of me can afford her prices."
The man's threadbare despite careful mending clothing spoke to that. Before I could think better of it, I found myself blurting out that in my case, discounts might just be possible on the basis of a good neighbourly relationship.
I immediately began kicking myself for lack of business sense, but that managed to win the man over. He opened up enough to share gossip about our other neighbours ("-and Ilmiril may act friendly to your face but I've seen some sketchy figures coming and going from his door at night, wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him-"), and when the hackle-lo was drained, he asked us to wait as he fetched something from next door.
"Thought I'd get the measure of you both first. But you're all right, good additions to the neighbourhood. And at the New Year, too — good omen, that. Only right to bring a house-warming gift."
The gift turned out to be two quilts, one in bright reds, oranges and yellows, the other in cool greens and blues. Simply looking at the delicate stitchwork, the intricate geometry of the patches, made it clear that this must have taken someone a great deal of time and effort. This, to my mind, went far beyond what I'd have ever expected of a house-warming gift, and I tried to refuse — to no avail.
"They're just gathering dust in the cupboards, now that it's just me." A spasm of pain flitted across the man's face. "Better they go to young folk like you who'll get proper use out of them."
Well, my new alchemy business was off to a splendid start, given that there was no way I'd be charging my first potential customer any money anytime soon.
Braynas didn't stay much longer after that, allowing the both of us to get back to the work of moving in. By the time the sun was setting, I was completely drained. Jamie, trained warrior in her prime that she was, had weathered the day's exertions better — enough to whip us up a simple meal of stewed ash yams with pickled hackle-lo and roobrush along with comberry jam. The moment the first bite hit my tongue, I knew that culinarily, I'd made a very good decision in choosing to cohabit with Jamie.
Seriously, why did she spend her time bandit-hunting in the wilderness or whatever it was Redoran got up to? Any restaurant would be lucky to have her as a head chef, if you asked me.
Jamie cooking of course meant that it was my job to clean up after the meal — an ordinarily boring process which today became a real challenge due to the fact that my arms felt like overcooked Argonian noodles. It was only by reminding myself that this division of labour meant more Jamie-cooked meals in the future that I managed to keep all of my complaints internal. When I stumbled into my new bedroom after having given the stove a last wipe, I knew that I'd be feeling this tomorrow.
Still, on looking the room over, I decided the day's effort had been worth it.
The cheery quilt caught the eye, like a puddle of sunlight and flame spread over a saltrice-chaff mattress. At the foot of the bed was a trunk, currently containing valuables such as the Indoranyon and Falasmaryon propylon indices, the Dwemer puzzle cube I'd liberated from Arkngthand, and the Invisibility tome I still hadn't found a taker for. A battered desk I'd managed to squeeze on top of the load at Hlormaren stood at the other side of the room, a shelf beside it bearing my small but growing collection of books. My clothes were stacked neatly in a corner, awaiting the day I'd have enough funds to buy a wardrobe.
All of it now mine… and an alchemy lab next door.
In that moment, it didn't matter that I'd probably be down to single digits in my purse until the lab's new ventilation shaft was built and I could get some potions brewed. It didn't matter that Ranis Athrys was riding me, Habasi was blackmailing me, Cosades still lurking in the background. For the first time on this island, security felt close enough to grasp.
"Ingerte," I whispered to the air. "Charon. I'm home."
And if there were any tears shed after that, nobody was there to witness.
Notes:
There is a moment of misgendering a trans person, although the person in question rapidly corrects themselves.
Chapter 31: Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Text
"I'm not comfortable with this," I said for what must have been the tenth time.
As for the preceding nine times, Kagrenac ignored me, instead of keeping up his fast pace through the maze of corridors beneath Nchurdaleft.
This time, however, Sil had joined us, and when I voiced my complaint he shot a glance my way. "How so, Nerevar? Experimentation is a necessary part of scientific progress-"
"Experimentation, fine, but with someone's life? "
Sil's steps slowed. "My understanding is that the man in question is already condemned. Is that incorrect?"
"No, it's completely accurate," Kagrenac called from where he was walking ahead of us. "We caught him sending messages to the Nords. We'd be executing him anyway, this just allows us to get something useful out of him first. Nerevar is just getting squeamish. "
Kagrenac sounded deeply irritated by that fact. That was fine. After all, I was irritated by him right back.
"I just don't feel right treating a man like this." Not that I was particularly inclined to demand mercy for a Nord-lover who'd sell us out to the tyrants. But there was a difference between killing or exiling someone too dangerous to be left alive yourself, and playing games. Besides... "It doesn't seem particularly respectful to Azura, either."
Ahead of us, Kagrenac came to an abrupt stop. Spun around. I had to suppress a flinch at the look on his face. I'd been thinking him irritated at most, but that? That was sheer rage burning brightly his eyes if I'd ever seen any.
"'Not respectful to Azura'," Kagrenac repeated, the curl of his lips making clear just how little he liked the sound of the words. "Well, you know what I think is disrespectful? When I go to lengths to create an appropriate gift for an ally, developing a custom enchantment tailored only to him, and then the instant I hand it over some Daedra decides she can do whatever she wants with it!"
I winced. One hand came up reflexively to rub at the Moon-and-Star where it sat on the middle finger of my right hand, feeling the magicka in it. The two very distinct strains of magicka, to be precise, one Dwemeris in origin with the other very clearly Daedric.
Considering that the gift of the Moon-and-Star had been very carefully arranged political theatre to bring our peoples closer, it was truly ironic that it was serving to split them instead.
Which meant that, for the sake of politics and interracial harmony, we needed to go along with this. To relieve the sting of the insult Kagrenac was currently feeling, but also because I'd figured out that among Dwemer, a small part of the ownership of a work always remained with the craftsman. Gift or no gift, among the Dwemer Kagrenac had a perfect right to demand the ring back to inspect it. Refusing would be seen as stealing.
I still hated it, of course, but if there was one thing this war had taught me, it was that my personal feelings didn't actually matter all that much in the large scheme of things.
"All right," I forced out. "Go ahead, then."
The reminder of our journey was done in complete stony silence. Thankfully, it wasn't long before we'd reached our destination - a heavy metal door set into the corridor wall, two Dwemer guards and Dumac himself waiting in front of it for us.
Judging by the way Kagrenac bristled, he hadn't been expecting the audience. "What? Are there any other objections to a perfectly reasonable course of scientific inquiry?"
Dumac shook his head. "I simply wish to observe. And ensure the traitor is appropriately dealt with, one way or the other. After you."
As I passed, he rested a hand on my shoulder. The gesture was brief - brief enough it was likely none of the others had caught it - but it steadied me. His reasons would be different from mine, but I was certain Dumac was also not in favour of what Kagrenac was planning. He was, of course, just as unable to put a stop to it as I was, but simply knowing I wasn't going to be the only one there in protest helped.
I let out a long breath, then followed Kagrenac and Sil into the cell, Dumac bringing up the rear.
Truth be told, it was a sorry sight. Bare walls, without any of the hangings or wall-decorations so beloved by the Dwemer. None of the raised beds they favoured, not even a bedroll or pile of furs, but only a stack of dirty hay in one corner. In the other, a bucket. The smell in the room made it clear what its purpose was, and I had to suppress the urge to wrinkle my nose.
"Well, well, well. What's this, then?"
The Dwemer had - surprise, surprise - dark eyes and dark, curly hair. He was a little on the short and skinny side for one, and the lack of the ornamentation Dwemer preferred - no cap, no beard-ornaments or jewellery - made him look downright bedraggled. The thick iron manacle on one foot, and chain linking it to the wall, didn't help with that impression.
I could feel my sense of empathy gearing up and squashed it firmly. The man had been caught selling information to the Nords, and - from what Dumac had said - shown himself entirely unrepentant. My sympathy was better spent on worthier targets.
"You should be delighted." Kagrenac's flat voice could not have been further removed from delight. "Despite your crimes, you've been given one last opportunity to use your pathetic life to further the Dwemer cause."
The man smiled. He seemed improbably relaxed, given the situation. "Ah, let me guess. You need a test subject for an experiment, one dangerous enough you're coming to me to do it." His eyes roved over my face speculatively. "Something that involves our Chimer... 'allies', too. Some ill-fated attempt at collaboration, perhaps, or Daedric working they are too primitive to understand." The smile grew into a smirk.
A clever man, it appeared. And worse than that - a man who knew he was clever. One who wanted to show off, to revel in his intellectual superiority, even now. I could see how he could have been led to betrayal.
I could almost hear Kagrenac's teeth grinding from where I stood. "The details are not important," he forced out. "We expect your participation."
"Ah, ah, ah, but you haven't told me what I'm getting out of this, now have you? Because let me tell you, I find the opportunity to 'further the Dwemer cause', as you put it, less than compelling. And," the man's teeth gleamed against the dark of his beard, "the fact that you're even bothering to talk to me about it indicates you need some form of voluntary participation."
That part wasn't... entirely true. But it was true that Kagrenac had said he'd only consider the findings truly conclusive if we didn't use force. I shuddered at the idea of him deciding we needed even more tests after this.
The traitor, at least, seemed to think he had a winning argument. "So? What will you give me, in return for my compliance? Because let me tell you," he shot Dumac a glance, "execution at dawn isn't the reward I'm looking for, here."
Now both Kagrenac and Dumac were fuming. And no wonder. For all my dislike of what we were doing, having met the man I knew we couldn't afford to let him go free.
However...
"Exile," I said.
Four pairs of eyes snapped to me. " Nerevar- " Dumac began, voice dangerous.
I held up a hand. "Exile is a traditional punishment of the Chimer people for the worst crimes, as we've discussed before. I see no reason why it could not be applied in this case." Remember, I thought as I met his gaze. Understand what I am trying to say.
Because we had talked about exile, as part of a long ongoing conversation comparing our peoples' approaches to law, crime and punishment. I'd gone into detail on how it worked, the place the exiled person would be released, the amount of help they would be afforded going forwards, what they could take with them.
And I had never once met a Dwemer who'd be able to survive more than a day or two in the Ashlands with all hearths barred to him and only a knife in his possession.
Perhaps there was something to the idea that allies who worked together long enough might develop a limited form of telepathy. At any rate, after a moment I could see the realisation spark in Dumac's eyes. The anger faded from his face, and he dipped his head in a nod.
"I agree. In return for your willing cooperation, we offer you the commutation of your sentence into exile, in the style of the Chimer people."
The smile on the traitor's face broadened further. He clearly thought he'd come out of this the victor. "I accept. What do you want me to do?"
Was he the victor, I wondered? On the whole, I thought not. Exile as the Chimer did it, for a Dwemer, would be little more than a slower, more painful death... and, of course, there was the matter of Kagrenac's experiment.
"The ring, if you please, Nerevar."
Oddly, considering that I'd never regularly worn jewellery before, the Moon-and-Star rested so easily on my hand to the point where I kept forgetting it was there at all. I almost wondered whether the fit had changed, because I remembered it being loose when I'd slipped it on. Now, it hugged my finger snugly and it was something of a fight to get it off. Finally, I had it free in my hand.
Kagrenac did not reach to take it when I held it out. Probably wise, considering our suspicions. Instead, he directed me to approach the prisoner.
"You will take the ring from Nerevar, then put it on. I will let you know when you are free to take it off again. After this, you will have won your exile."
"Really? What are you expecting this thing to do, I wonder?" The twisted smile was directed at me this time. I felt my skin crawl as he plucked the ring from my palm. "Well. Here goes nothi-"
He stopped.
For a moment, the man simply stood frozen, mouth open in speech, eyes staring blankly forwards, the Moon-and-Star glinting strangely where it sat just past his knuckle.
Then, with an exhale that reminded me terribly of gases escaping a punctured netch, he collapsed.
Sil was the first one who took a step forward. One hand sparked blue with healing magicka, the other went to the man's neck, looking for a pulse. After a moment, he looked up at the rest of us.
"Dead."
My gaze was inexorably drawn to the ring, so innocuous where it sat on the dead man's hand. It had been a clever piece of work, certainly. Kagrenac had managed to inlay enchantments that would detect when I was about to say something diplomatically... unwise... and give me a little warning beforehand. In the right circumstances, it might indeed be very valuable. However...
"Well, then. It looks like our suspicion was right," Kagrenac ground out. "Nerevar, the good news is that I highly doubt you'll need to worry about your new ring being stolen. In fact, I strongly recommend you don't leave this around or lend it to anyone. The consequences would likely be fatal."
"I'll... take it under advisement," I managed, mind still whirring.
Fact: Daedric gifts were known to be strange and capricious at best, but laying an enchantment on a simple gift like this one so that it would instantly kill anyone other than me who wore it was beyond excessive. I couldn't see any sense in it, not the way things currently were.
Fact: According to the Wise Women of the Chimer, Daedra, not bound to Mundus as we were, did not have quite the same experience of time. For the most powerful among them, concepts like past and future were more of... strong suggestions.
My eyes trailed from the ring to rest on the dead man's face, the shock that would never fade from it now.
What, I wondered, had Azura seen ahead of me that she believed I would need a proof of identity as final as this ?
The days until the ventilation shaft could be installed dragged on and on. Every time I walked past the lab and peeked in on it the retorts and alembic positively cried out to me, begging for proper professional use instead of the horror they'd been subjected to in the past (both in terms of ingredients and in terms of cleaning). I still wasn't the biggest fan of toxic fumes, however, and so managed to resist the temptation. Barely.
I did keep myself busy in the meantime. On Turdas, Habasi snagged me from a gossip session with Ajira after the guild breakfast. It turned out she wanted me to find some hypothetical master locksmith rumoured to live somewhere in Balmora. Initially, I was sure this was another wild goose chase along the same lines of the Telvanni spy, but asking around quickly led me to one Hecerinde, living on the eastern bank of the Odai. Thankfully the Altmer didn't mind the visit, professing that he'd meant to get in touch with the local guild anyway ages ago and inviting me in for some hackle-lo tea. The adherence to local tea-based hospitality customs and thick Stonefalls accent told me that the man was a Morrowind native, in other words most likely happily ignorant of any complications involving the Thief-King, bounties, terrible lies about my time in the Windhelm guild, or the like. I accepted, and we ended up having a nice, relaxing chat about lock design, different styles of lockpicking, the advantages and disadvantages of magical locking spells (all right, mainly the latter) and the like which made it clear I was talking to someone with centuries' worth of expertise.
Enough experience that, prior to leaving, I asked if I could hire him to help secure my new home. With the Master's equipment I had real valuables to protect, now, and the fact that the lock on the front door was something I could've picked in my sleep was keeping me awake at night. Luckily, the man was both available and also willing to accept payment in installments.
On Fredas, after the morning's Ta'agra classes, I was looking forward to a day of lazing around with my books while counting down the hours to the installation of the new ventilation shaft. Alas, it was rudely interrupted when a messenger knocked on our door (and really, how did they find people? Jamie and I hadn't been moved in for a full week!)
"Milord Morvayn would like to see you."
Well, I thought. At least this way, I could get the interviews out of the way before my alchemy lab was set up.
To my complete and utter lack of surprise, the only thing I got out of the interviews was exercise: in particular, that of my sense of tact, to the point of absolute exhaustion. Morvayn's staff didn't seem inclined to be any more open with an "independent agent who's worked closely with House Redoran in the past and has a unique expertise in this area" than they had with the Temple investigator, and back in Skyrim I'd always been the worst at sniffing out duplicity. After hours in the stuffy room Morvayn had found for me I'd had a growling stomach, developing tic in the form of rubbing my right middle finger as though expecting to find a ring there (a clear sign of encroaching madness, given that I'd never worn much jewellery in my life), certainty that if one more person called me outlander in that tone of voice I would not be responsible for my actions, and all I'd learned was that I could cosign all of Rothrano's reports. Bar the family ones, of course, as this was where 'Milord' had drawn the line, but given the success of the rest I highly doubted I was missing out.
"It was a long shot," Neminda told me with a sigh when I reported to her in the evening. "Especially given that Councilor Morvayn wasn't willing to allow us to send you in in the guise of a new maid or similar, which meant we were forced to retread ground Adept Rothrano had already covered."
I blinked. I hadn't realised that that had even been on the table. It was true that it would at least have meant people weren't immediately aware they were being interviewed, but...
"...if you think that would have worked, I have to say you're really overestimating my acting ability."
"Which would be why we didn't push the matter, yes." Neminda sighed, absently fiddling with a quill. "Well, I suppose I'll cross the Morvayns off the list and see where else we can use you-"
"Ah, not quite yet."
Neminda's fingers stilled.
"Oh? Did you find a lead after all?"
"Not... exactly. But..." I clenched my own fingers, suddenly jealous of Neminda's quill. I wanted something to fiddle with too. "I didn't want to stop there yet. I mean, who's to say Assutlanipal even had a co-conspirator? And, I don't know, it just seems a little too unlikely that she had access to a whole noble manor and didn't do anything at all with it. So…" Really jealous of the quill. "I managed to talk Mi- er, Councilor Morvayn into letting me come back next week and search the manor, provided I was accompanied."
It was admittedly a long shot, but I did have one thing going for me: although I certainly wasn't one of nature's interviewers, I'd wager septims against drakes that I was better at ferreting out hidden items than some cloistered ignorant from the Temple.
Neminda's eyebrows rose. "He agreed to that?"
I winced. "He wasn't too happy, but I think I convinced him. He did want me to stay out of the family quarters, and... um... it's possible he'll want some concession in return."
I'd felt queasy about agreeing to that, even as unspecific and non-binding as it had been, and was half-expecting Neminda to get angry about me making promises on behalf of others. To my surprise, she just nodded. "Understood. I'll work something out."
"Just like that?" Sometimes I couldn't help myself.
Neminda sat up straighter. "Adryn, you must be aware that these statues are the greatest threat facing Redoran right now, even if the fact that they're nominally in Temple jurisdiction and that Sarethi is apparently the only Councilor who sees the danger makes it difficult to find manpower for the investigation." Frustration flitted over her expression. "But I'm willing to provide all the resources I can to push this forward, and I know Sarethi feels the same. If Morvayn ends up with favourable tariffs on one of his mines, that's a small sacrifice to make if it lets us make progress."
"Thanks. That's... I hadn't thought of it that way." In other words, I'd been drifting in blissful ignorance. I really could have done without the pressure.
Although... 'the greatest threat facing Redoran', really? That had to be an exaggeration, I told myself. We were in quarantine and everything. Neminda was just trying to motivate me.
"Next week, you said. I don't suppose he'd be willing to move that up a little in return for more concessions?"
Definitely exaggeration.
Unfortunately for Neminda's hopes, Morvayn had made it very clear at the time that the earliest he was willing to see me darken his doorstep again was in a week's time. Bad news for a speedy investigation, especially since the more time passed, the higher the chance that any hypothetical evidence might be lost. The conscientious part of myself mourned the delay. The significantly larger rest of me didn't mind it. After all, the ventilation shaft was now in place, meaning that I now had an alchemy lab furnished with a full Master's set of equipment calling my name.
The week passed quickly in alchemical bliss. I'd thought I'd amassed a decent supply of ingredients by keeping aside some of what I collected with Jamie, but I blew through it surprisingly quickly - never to mention that many of the ingredients for the most popular potions didn't grow around here. Marshmerrow and wickwheat, for instance, were predominantly found on the eastern coast. In lieu of going ingredient-gathering in Telvanni regions (in winter, no less) I ended up buying from Danoso at the Temple or Cienne under Skar. I preferred gathering my own if I could - you could never be certain of quality when buying from an apothecary, never to mention the extra cost involved - but in this case I knew they both had good sources and there was still a respectable profit to be made from the finished potions.
Besides, it left me with more time for alchemy.
Apart from sourcing new raw materials, the main interruption to my alchemical spree came on Middas. I was teaching Ta'agra lessons that day again, and Ajira stayed after class.
"Ajira thinks her friend should know - Ranis Athrys has been... impatient, of late. Ajira thinks it may go poorly for friend Adryn if she does not show she is working on her tasks. Yes?"
Which forced me to reluctantly retrieve the matter of the Telvanni spy from the dusty shelf in a back corner of my mind where I'd shoved it, and contemplate what to do next.
My primary suspect remained Tiram Gadar. I was certain that there was something fishy in that man's backstory. Alas, I didn't know of a way to question him further without raising suspicion. A good alternative would be to dig through any of his documents. I remembered Trebonius saying something about the man having been referred from Cyrodiil. A referral letter should be on file somewhere, right? And I knew there were storage areas in the Vivec guild. I just had to-
I could feel Charon's disapproving look all the way from the afterlife.
No, I was absolutely not going to engage in any criminal behaviour in my own guildhall. Not for Ranis' shady business, not when I'd run the risk of being thrown out. No, the only way I was going to look through those documents was with a higher-up's permission, and no sensible guild member would let an apprentice do that on a whim.
I paused.
...had I really just thought the words "sensible guild member" in conjunction with Trebonius?
All right. If I looked at it that way, the next step was obvious. Even if it did mean I had to return to Vivec, again.
It probably said something about the level of ominous threat Ranis could exude that I hardly had to fight with myself at all to start walking towards the guild and the guild guide.
I barely even got started with the explanation I'd cooked up — Ranis asking me to double-check the paperwork on one of our new recruits — before Trebonius was nodding emphatically. "Always good to see apprentices want to get involved. Guild doesn't run itself, after all." A pause. "As long as you make sure this doesn't affect your primary duties."
The man's eyes narrowed at the last, the feeling of suppressed magicka so strong in the air around him it was almost visible. I realised that I'd always assumed some powerful relative had greased palms and twisted arms to get Trebonius this position, but there was in fact an alternative. After all, I'd always assumed an Archmage needed both intelligence and raw magical power to keep his position. Was it possible to make up for an absolute dearth of the former with an abundance of the latter?
I decided that on the whole, I'd really rather not find out.
"I assure you that my research is progressing at the same pace as before," I told the man. The pace in question being zero was an irrelevant detail that could be left out, I figured.
"Good work. Make sure to get this back to me when you're done." And suddenly I had the key to the document storage room in my hand.
Which was a surprise — given Trebonius' mental capacity, I'd been certain that the upkeep of guild records was another task he'd pawned off on Malven Romori or Gadar. Maybe one of them had a copy of the key?
Or maybe, I realised when I saw the state of the storage room, this was in fact a task Trebonius was doing himself. And he was doing it the way he did everything: badly.
Stacks of parchment on every surface, many covered in drifts of thick dust. Over in the corner, a group of spiders appeared to have worked on transforming one of them into what probably qualified as an architectural jewel for arachnids. No semblance of an organizational system as far and wide as the eye could see.
I could be doing alchemy right now.
All right, I told myself. No point in losing my temper. Especially because, as luck would have it, I did have some experience in handling situations like this. We'd done our fair share of targeted burglaries, back in Skyrim, and it turned out some people were extremely disorganized. This was about as bad a case as I'd ever seen, but there were still ways to narrow it down.
For instance: I'd heard Gadar was relatively new to the guild. This meant that logically, all of his documents must have been added fairly recently and couldn't possibly be buried in the dustiest section or in the spider metropolis. The last being a particular relief — the more I looked at that thing, the more I wondered whether a giant spider hadn't infiltrated the Mages' Guild at some point to make its home here — but more importantly, it gave me a place to start.
With a sigh, I pulled out the trusty face-scarf that, having brought me safely through quite a number of Ald'ruhn ash storms, was unlikely to be fazed by even this amount of dust build-up. After wrapping it around my face in a now-practiced motion, I settled on the floor and began poking through the least dusty pile.
Guild ledgers, recruitment documents, a frustrated-sounding letter from Archmage Traven of Cyrodiil — should I really be allowed to see any of this? — more ledgers, expense claims, last year's budget breakdown...
My fingers paused on a sheet of parchment. 20th Heartfire - Update to Central Guild Registry, I read. Please add member ADRYN, rank ASSOCIATE, attached to BALMORA GUILD. Requestor: RANIS ATHRYS, Balmora guildmaster
I remembered, vaguely, Ranis scribbling something on a piece of parchment after she had my signature for the Balmora guild-book, myself waiting for her to finish. My second day on the island, it had been, and I'd just come from my first meeting with Cosades. I'd felt wary, unable to quite believe that this would turn out any better than my life so far, yet... hopeful all the same.
It felt like another life entirely.
I put the parchment to the side and continued my search.
It didn't actually take me very long after that to strike gold. Gadar's recruitment, it turned out, had only been a few months before mine, his documents not that much further in the pile I was perusing.
Something struck me as strange about that. I could've sworn I'd heard something about him being in the guild longer? Probably I'd misunderstood something, I decided.
And what documents they were. A letter of recommendation from Imperial Battlemage Ocato himself. A certificate from the College of Winterhold stating that Gadar had completed his education, one which I noted mournfully went on to claim him expert-level in the Destruction and Illusion schools. Note taken: if we ever ended up getting into an actual altercation, I'd probably be best served running away.
If he was actually that proficient. Given that both letter and certificate were forgeries, there was no guarantee.
They were good forgeries, too. I suspected they were the work of a skilled professional. They weren't good enough to fool me, but then again I did know exactly what to look for.
So. I'd found proof positive that Gadar was crooked. If I wanted to, I could take them to a higher-up right now.
The only problem was that I still didn't know why. Maybe he was a spy... but maybe he was simply someone with criminal connections who'd decided to use them. The fact that he'd — I flipped to the registry update document - managed to enter the guild at Evoker level on the strength of his falsified recommendation was already motive enough, in my opinion. Azura knew I'd have done a lot to escape various people's attempts at finding me associate and apprentice tasks.
Maybe he was faking his magical skill, but maybe he was genuinely that level of mage... just not one with the sort of provenance one could share with the guild. If I had to put money on it, I'd bet on the latter — there were simply too many ways to be caught out, pretending to be a higher-level mage than one actually was, and Gadar hadn't struck me as stupid.
All of which pretty much left me where I'd started.
Well... not quite.
Out of some paranoid instinct, I glanced around to see that I was, of course, still alone in the dusty storeroom, the door closed behind me. With the confirmation that nobody was watching, I carefully rolled up the forgeries and slipped them into my satchel.
Now, if I ever did decide to bring the issue of Gadar to Ranis Athrys, I'd have the evidence to prove my case.
I levered myself up, then paused.
Although Gadar was my primary suspect, there was no point in letting myself be blinded to other possibilities. Even Trebonius would probably get suspicious if I asked for access to the registry a second time, meaning this was an opportunity I probably wouldn't get again. I should really make use of it and see if I could find anything else suspicious among the documents.
After a moment of silence as I put to rest my hopes of getting any potions brewed today, I turned back to the piles.
To my complete lack of surprise, when I left the registry office hours later I was hungry, thirsty, certain that if I read another of Estirdalin's overly detailed expense reports anytime soon I would set it on fire, and had found absolutely nothing else that looked even remotely suspicious. Tiram Gadar remained my only suspect. I could have spent that time so much more usefully.
Thankfully, despite the fact that I had no progress I was willing to share with her, Ranis viewed my visit to Vivec as evidence that I was at least trying and didn't try to pressure me into anything further. This left me with copious time to recover from such horrors by means of — what else? — alchemy. By the time I was standing in front of Morvayn Manor again, my emergency potion supply was better stocked than it had ever been, my purse had recovered from the terrible depletion caused by the move, and Jamie had been getting increasingly emphatic in her suggestions that I go out to "get some air, Adryn, all those fumes can't possibly be good for you." I figured the plan for today should serve to pacify her.
This time, nobody took me to see Councilor "Milord" Morvayn himself. I figured this qualified as a very good start to the day — for one, the diplomatic successes I'd scored with him were such an outlier in my experience that it was probably better we didn't try to repeat the feat, for another, I was actually worried that the man would attempt to look even further down his nose at me than before and do himself an injury as a result. Instead, a tall Dunmer man in a plain shirt and trousers under a vest embroidered with the Morvayn coat of arms said he would be accompanying me. In theory, I knew who he was considering I'd interviewed everyone currently working in the manor last week. In practice, Jamie might possibly have a point about the alchemical fumes because his name had absolutely fled my mind. I was, not for the first time, grateful the Morrowind conversational style didn't use names that often and mentally dubbed him Mouse for his overall demeanour.
"If you'd just follow me, m'lady-"
It was probably good I wasn't drinking anything at that point in time or my life might have found a short, ignominous end. After I managed to stop coughing, I did my best to make it emphatically clear that I was most definitely not a lady of any sort, although Mouse only seemed to understand this after I switched to Dunmeris. A number of the Morvayn servants spoke worse Tamrielic than I did Dunmeris, the first time I'd encountered that situation since meeting Beyte. Thankfully, by now I was very much able to hold a conversation.
With a little prompting, Mouse told me that 'Milord' was permitting me to search the main areas, servants' quarters and storage rooms, but that I was not to set foot in the family wing. Furthermore, I was not to go anywhere unaccompanied. Reading between the lines, 'Milord' was worried I'd steal something. I had to bite back indignation at the idea. For one, I was retired. For another, if I had wanted to steal something, one single servant would definitely not be enough to stop me.
Especially not one who turned his back to me when he led me inside. I felt injured in my professional pride.
All of that aside, I knew that I couldn't protest the babysitter — knew I'd been lucky Morvayn had agreed to this at all — but it was a bother. I obviously wasn't going to steal anything, but it would definitely be easier to poke around without one of Morvayn's people watching. Entering the manor, I felt annoyed at best by his presence.
Two hours later, I'd changed my mind.
The first time I'd been here, I'd been led straight to Morvayn's study, the second to a little room off it where the staff had showed up one after another. I hadn't spent any time in the rest of the manor, especially not the lower floor. And I certainly hadn't felt...
The truth was? The place was creepy.
Part of it was probably that the place was surprisingly empty. (This, Mouse told me, was to be expected, as we were in the period just after New Year's where many servants had time off to visit their family. Another reason the interviews had been pointless, I decided.) Part of it was that many of the mage-lights in the lower floor needed to be renewed, resulting in the whole place being enveloped in flickering shadows. Most of it, I suspected, was that I was in theory hunting for evidence of ash statues, when in practice I'd really rather never see one of the things again. I'd lain awake last night with memories of my close call with one flashing through my mind. The lack of sleep was also not doing me any favours. All of the things combined to leave me feeling like one of the characters in The Horror of Castle Xyr , and if Mouse hadn't been with me I might have decided retreat was the better part of valour.
This, in turn meant that if occasionally — very occasionally — I thought I could hear whispering on the edge of my hearing, it could very well simply be my imagination. My mind had played tricks on me before, and the combination of the silence, the strange lighting, the lack of sleep and my being so on edge made this a prime breeding ground. In all honesty, given all those factors it would almost be a surprise not to be hearing things.
Or, of course, it could be an ash statue.
"What's on this floor?" I asked my guide. My voice sounded thin, dampened, as though even sound was too afraid to stray too far away.
"Storage. A lot of it isn't used anymore. The manor has been around a long time — dates back to when this was Ashlander territory, even — and it's bigger than the family really needs."
I hadn't realised Ald'ruhn had once been controlled by the Velothi. That was an interesting fact I'd like to know more about. I could just turn around now, say that my investigation was over and I hadn't found anything of note, and flee to the guild library where I could bury myself in history books to my heart's content-
I steeled myself with a memory. Not of the statue itself, this time. Of Varvur's haunted eyes, recounting what it had done to him.
If I let my fear drive me away and something happened to the people I'd met here, I'd never be able to meet my eyes in the mirror again.
"Do you need to look at them, m'l- Adryn?"
"Yes." My voice was grim. "I want to have a look at every single one."
But as we went through room after room, my paranoia was not rewarded. Most were empty. A few weren't, but as Mouse watched quietly I dug through folded linens, opened crates of candles, ducked to look beneath unused furniture, and found no sign of a statue anywhere. Nor did I feel like the maybe-whispering grew any louder in any of the rooms. So far, the place where I felt closest to actually hearing something was in the middle of a bare corridor with no rooms nearby. It was also the one with the worst lighting, but when Mouse and I struck fire spells it was clear there was nothing in sight.
Maybe it was just my imagination?
Then I cracked open the door of the room at the end of the corridor and froze.
"What? Is something wrong?" Mouse's voice was nervous. He'd been calm enough when we started, but my anxiety had rubbed off on him through her search.
"I'm not sure. It's just... a feeling."
The room was empty. The whispers were no louder. But something here was wrong. What-
Dust.
For all their disuse, most of the rooms we'd found so far had been free of the stuff. A question to Mouse had proved that his niece Yasamsi, one of the lower-ranking maids, had the job of keeping the area clean. Here, however, the floor glimmered, a fine layer of dust motes reflecting the light I held.
Except for the tracks.
Footprints. Layered enough it was hard to tell more than that. And over to the side, small dust-free circles all in rows, as though something had stood there until recently. Some things, to be precise, with a round base.
From what I remembered of the statue, the size matched.
"It was here," I told the air and Mouse hovering behind me. "She must have stored them here. But what did she do with them?"
"Y-you're not supposed to be here!"
The voice from behind me probably took a good few decades off my life. I whirled around, heart in my throat, ready for whatever threat had just appeared-
Mouse turned more sedately. "Yasamsi, what is this about?"
All right, I had to admit the sight in front me of me wasn't all that threatening. I'd already met Yasamsi last week and she'd made more of an impression than Mouse, but looking at her now it struck me again how young she was. She couldn't be more than fourteen or so, with the lanky, coltish look of someone in the middle of a growth spurt where some parts of their mind and body hadn't quite caught up to their new reality yet, and skinny enough she looked like a stiff breeze could blow her away. The wide, frightened red eyes didn't exactly change that impression.
Also, there were now multiple contenders for the nickname Mouse in the room: despite the fact that I'd technically interviewed her, this was the first time I'd heard Yasamsi actually talk rather than make terrified squeaking noises . I'd have to approach this carefully to make sure she didn't clam up.
"Hi!" I said, trying to keep my voice bright, cheerful, and not as if I'd just been scared to within an inch of my life. "We met last week, but in case you forgot, I'm Adryn! I'm here to make certain that there's nothing dangerous here on behalf of House Redoran. Councilor Morvayn gave me permission to search this area — if I'm not supposed to be here, this is the first I or…" curse my terrible memory for names, really, "my guide here have heard of it. Could you tell me why you think so?"
Silence.
My affected cheer began to wilt.
"Yasamsi," Mouse said at my side, sounding sterner than I'd have believed the man capable of, and then...
Then my confidence in my language skills was dealt a heavy blow as he slipped into rolling syllables punctuated with more sibilants than I was used to hearing at this point. Whatever this was, it sounded familiar enough that it was clearly at least related to Dunmeris, but no matter how much I concentrated understanding eluded my grasp.
A dialect of some sort, maybe? I thought as Yasamsi responded in the same language. If so, it was sufficiently far distant from the ones I'd encountered so far that I couldn't make out more than a word here and there. Perhaps with more exposure-
But after a quick back and forth, Mouse turned to me. "It seems," he said, "that my niece has something to tell you."
Ordinarily, this would most likely have called for a seat by the fire in the kitchen along with a nice soothing cup of hackle-lo, but Yasamsi and Mouse — who I could finally bestow an actual name upon after Yasamsi called him "Uncle Kundanit" — made it clear that this was not a conversation they wanted overheard. I did, however, draw the line at staying in the dusty room, with evidence of ash statues all around us. Instead, we retreated to one of the ones I'd looked through earlier, one filled with old furniture no longer in use. The three of us perched on high-backed chairs that had definitely been created with aesthetics rather than comfort in mind — no wonder, I thought, that they'd been relegated to storage — and looked at each other.
"Are you sure about this?" Kundanit asked Yasamsi, with a glance at me.
But the junior mouse seemed to have found some courage. "Yes." She shot me a glance. "She's... you helped Tashpi."
That sentence came as a surprise, enough of one that my mind blanked. "Tashpi?" Then it came to me. Thank Azura — I was bad with names, not completely incapable. "Not Tashpi Ashibael?"
"That's the one. Just because we're not Urshilaku anymore doesn't mean our clan doesn't talk , you know."
"...clan?"
Kundanit sighed, and proceeded to fill in some of the blanks in my mental map of Morrowind society.
The Velothi lifestyle was a hard one and grew harder by the year, as they were slowly driven off ancestral lands and fertile plains to the fringes of society, to the ashy wastes nobody else wanted. ("Ashlanders, they call us," Kundanit said, bitterness evident in every word; it was really for the best I'd figured out his name, as Mouse was becoming more and more inaccurate. "As if we chose to live there. As if we always had.") Many clung grimly to their lifestyle, doing their best to eke out a living even in the wastelands. Others looked at the twinkling lights in the distance, the well-fed city-folk now occupying what had once been their land, and decided that if you couldn't beat them, you might as well join them.
Such city-Velothi were viewed with scorn from all sides. The Velothi of the tribes considered them as anything from weaklings to traitors, while the Dunmer of the Great Houses viewed them as little better than barbarians. They were the ones who ended up with the worst jobs, the scullery-maids, the garbage-collectors, the mine-workers. In cities like Ald'ruhn, where the Urshilaku had once been very numerous and had experienced a sharp decline, there were enough of them to form a veritable underclass.
Thus beset on all sides, the city-Velothi did what every group in such a situation would do — they stuck together, became clannish and insular. If nobody else was willing to look out for them, they'd have to look out for each other.
"Hanarai Assutlanipal was one of you, wasn't she," I said. I hadn't sussed it out before, but enough names had cropped up during this recounting that I thought I was getting the hang of the convention. "Are you protecting her?"
Yasamsi and Kundanit traded a glance. "Not... exactly," Kundanit said. For all that he'd said the girl had something to tell me, he was doing a lot of the talking right now. "She was a cousin, yes, but — she started worshipping the Sharmat . That's madness we don't need and won't support. But there's plenty of people who don't much see the difference between one Velothi and the next."
Protecting each other and their community by staying silent. I couldn't even blame them for it.
"But you're willing to talk to me now? Because I helped Tashpi?"
"And... you're an outlander." This, unexpectedly, was Yasamsi. "M'lady. You may be House-folk but... some outlanders aren't so bad about it."
This probably qualified as the first time anyone had ever used the word outlander in my hearing and meant it to imply something positive.
Also, being classified as House-folk felt... strange. It was probably correct — I could hardly claim any sort of Velothi identity, settled or no — but I wasn't used to anyone assigning me to anything more specific than Dunmer as far as Morrowind cultural subgroups went. The last time had probably been when the Archmaster mistook me for a Telvanni, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it now.
"All right. I hope I live up to your trust. Now..." I leaned forward. "Who told you we weren't supposed to be in that room? Hanarai?"
Hanarai, it turned out, had worked the lower storage rooms until shortly before certain events occurred that meant she'd never be working in Morvayn Manor ever again, and had indeed warned her young cousin off this room. I had to grit my teeth as this would have been information handy to have known earlier, for instance if they'd told me or the Temple investigator during the interviews, but fought down the urge to tell them off for it. Given everything they'd just told me, I could hardly be surprised if they weren't eager to share with outsiders.
"But," Yasamsi continued, "after she- she was gone, I thought it... didn't matter anymore. The steward said I was good enough to be responsible for that section on my own, and I can't just leave out rooms, now can I? But when I went to clean it, um, Nilos stopped me."
Now, at this point an actual trained investigator, such as the one from the Temple who'd preceded me, would no doubt — after having spent hours meeting every single person on the staff a week before — immediately be able to pinpoint the man in question and bring up everything we had on him. Alas for my prospective career, it looked as though my memory had used up all its power recalling who Tashpi was.
"Nilos? I, ah..."
"Nilos Talds. Lord Dathis' malavis — first protector and servant," Kundanit clarified at my look of confusion. "Heavy-set, crooked nose, short dark-red hair, has strong opinions about outlanders and isn't hesitant to voice them. I believe his interview was... ah... explosive."
That did indeed bring someone to mind. Unfortunately, because in truth I'd have liked never to have to think about the man again. Maybe in this case my memory had let me down out of self-preservation.
"Oh, him. Did he actually give you any reason for it, or was it just swearing?"
A shocked giggle escaped Yasamsi. "There was a lot of swearing!" Her voice had dropped to a near-whisper, as though she were reporting on something scandalous. Ancestors above, I wasn't even twenty yet, I shouldn't be feeling this old. "But, um, he said it was on the orders of Lord Dathis. That there was something stored here that he wanted treated with care."
"It wouldn't be the first time he delivered orders on behalf of his master," Kundanit threw in. "It's common to use malaviis as go-betweens like that."
If, of course, the orders had come from Morvayn Junior at all. There was really no guarantee of that. Even after a very short acquaintance I felt very confident in saying that the moons would go dark before Yasamsi voluntarily spoke to a member of the noble family about anything. If this Nilos Talds was acting on his own, then it'd be a simple, undetectable lie.
I groaned.
I'd have to talk to the man again.
Alas for the progress of my investigation, talking to him proved impossible that day.
"Hla Oad? What in Stendarr's name is a Redoran princeling doing in the armpit of the Bitter Coast?"
I snorted. Dralsi had a real way with words sometimes.
"Did anyone know?" Jamie asked.
This was another advantage of our new abode: meeting up to exchange news with Dralsi had become much easier and more convenient. For all we'd attempted to furnish Hlormaren with creature comforts, the need to trek miles back to Balmora through the swamps every time still served to make that option less than attractive. I much preferred sitting around our new kitchen table, fire crackling merrily in the hearth, Jamie and Dralsi sharing a bottle of mazte even as I poured myself a cup of hackle-lo.
"No. Apparently he's known to do this kind of thing, just head out into the countryside on some whim, his poor long-suffering servant trailing behind all the while. More in recent years, too. Possibly it's just to get away from things — gossip has it that he's not too happy about his father's remarriage and new half-brother."
I'd already figured out some of the family drama from Rothrano's notes and my own interviews, but Kundanit — apparently very well-connected - had filled in the details for me. 'Milord''s first wife had died some years ago, and he'd remarried after what was apparently considered a scandalously short period of time among Redoran, and to a woman closer in age to his son than himself as well. The son in question didn't take the sudden encroachment of a new stepmother particularly well, and her pregnancy even less so. It didn't help that his father had started pressuring him to join one of the Redoran combat troops. To get him to stop lazing about now that he was grown, according to Morvayn. Because he wanted to throw away his old family so he could focus on the new one, according to his son.
Typical noble, some bitter part of me thought. Never learned to share.
So possibly the trips were just a spoiled young man trying to escape from expectations with no ulterior motive. Or, of course, they were the deliberate actions of someone involved in the Sixth House. They'd be a great cover to meet with other cultists, disseminate news, possibly move some of the statues. The fact that the son, well-known to be completely brainless, was by all reports the one who insisted on the trips was something of an obstacle for this theory, but perhaps Talds was influencing the man.
Or — despite the cozy atmosphere a chill went down my spine — Morvayn Junior was being controlled. It shouldn't be possible, not since the Temple had checked him for corruption, but it made sense of events very well... and if we measured by Varvur, then he fit the target profile perfectly.
I groaned. There were just too many possibilities, and I couldn't see how to discount any while our two suspects were in another city.
"Did you at least search the rest of the manor?"
Neminda and Athyn Sarethi would likely be quite displeased to know we were giving another party blow-by-blow updates to what was supposed to be a secret investigation, which was why neither Jamie nor I would be letting them know. Dralsi had invited herself into our planning meetings at around the time she heard that I was supposed to be acting as an investigator. I had to admit some of the questions she'd asked had been helpful, even though her claim that if they left it all up to me it would likely end in explosions had smarted.
As did the fact that some of the questions she posed left me feeling treated like a child.
"Obviously. I poked through everywhere they allowed. No sign of anything suspicious somewhere else, and I'm... I can't explain it, but I'm sure there were statues in that room."
Jamie heaved a sigh. "If only you'd been able to check the family quarters as well, what with Dathis Morvayn cropping up in the picture. It'd be an excellent place to hide things, since it's far more restricted."
"I did think that too, but my guide mentioned that Morvayn's been searching through his son's things more. Some dispute they had over alcohol, I think, or maybe more of him trying to get the guy to leave home. From the sounds of it, it'd be hard for him to hide something there so his dad couldn't see it — especially something big, like a giant pile of statues."
There had been dozens of circles in the dust. I was pretty certain the question of where, exactly, those statues had gone would be keeping me awake at night.
"Hmm. You'd be surprised what you can hide where." Dralsi's voice was noncommittal. "But it's not as if we can check, if Morvayn's not letting you search." She gave me a meaningful look.
The underlying subtext: we could, of course, check. But I wasn't quite ready to take the step of burgling Morvayn Manor yet, not when we only had vague suspicions and there was far too much that could go wrong. Especially given the lack of exits other than the front door.
(These Dunmer and their bottlenecked mansions. Quite apart from the implications for honest hardworking thieves, it couldn't possibly be safe. What if there was a fire, or flood, or an invasion? All of those nobles would be stuck like crabs in a pot. If I were an Ald'ruhn city planner, I'd definitely make some changes around here.)
I dropped my head on my folded arms with a groan. "I really don't know what else I can do at this point. I've talked to people, I've searched the place, I do have two suspects... do we just have to wait for them to get back from Hla Oad?"
Jamie snorted. "Patience reallly isn't your strong suit, is it, Adryn? For what it's worth, you've made a lot more progress than me."
"You could probably use the in you have with Hanarai's clan to try to get more information out of them," Dralsi suggested. "From what you said, I doubt the Temple got much."
I drummed my fingers on the table as I thought. The suggestion made sense, but it didn't sit well with me all the same. I'd been able to see that it had been hard for Kundanit and Yasamsi to decide to trust me even far enough to talk about Nilos. Taking that and trying to leverage it into getting all their family to tell me all their secrets felt... wrong.
"Or," Dralsi went on, "I have another idea." She flashed a grin as she leaned forward, the expression reminding me in the strangest way of a fox's smile. "You see... I've been asked to pick up something in Hla Oad for," her eyes flicked to Jamie, "some friends. I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to come along anyway, Adryn." I mentally translated: Habasi was yanking my chain again, and using Dralsi as her messenger to do so. "What do you say we make it a joint trip?"
Chapter 32: Chapter Thirty
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
In the end, all three of us went - Jamie professing that her own part of the investigation had reached a dead end and that she'd rather take a few days away to clear her mind of it. Personally, I thought that she just wanted to get out of Ald'ruhn and do something where she might actually have to fight something. Jamie was just as little one of nature's detectives as I was, although for different reasons.
"You're not worried about us being seen together?" I asked Dralsi. "I remember you were very concerned about that the first time we met in Hlormaren."
"Eh." Dralsi waved a hand. "I've visited you often enough in the evening now that I think we can justify us all knowing each other. Besides, I think I've figured out most of Cosades' agents and informants, and he doesn't have eyes in Hla Oad."
Had I ever mentioned that I was ecstatic Dralsi was on our side?
Ironically, in the end we did end up teleporting to Hlormaren. It allowed us to skip most of the journey, Hla Oad not being very far from the fortress. It was just a little further south from Shal, the cave where Dralsi and I had engaged in merit-based redistribution of alchemical goods and hopefully terrified a necromancer into changing her ways. (The two of us carefully did not meet each other's eyes as we passed the entrance.)
Hla Oad was not a very prepossessing sight, made up of an overgrown dock surrounded by ramshackle houses that looked ready to collapse into the swamp if the wind was too strong, it rained too much, or they were feeling in need of attention. The sight reminded me of Seyda Neen outside the census building, or Khuul up north, or the stilt-houses on the Vivec waterways. Maybe this was the dark side of Morrowind architecture - every fantastic crab-shell or mushroom house was balanced by one drafty mess that looked like someone had taken a bunch of apprentice builders, given them half-rotten boards to work with, and told them that if they finished fast enough there'd be free sujamma for them in the tavern. It must help a great deal with ventilation, but I still found myself fiercely glad that Jamie and I had lucked into something a little less likely to make an architect burst into tears.
"Adryn? Hello? Are you with us?"
Embarrassed, I turned my attention back to where it should be.
Our first port of call was the tavern, recognisable by a wobbly beer mug emblazoned above the door in flaky paint. Inside was dark, lit only by the glow of embers from the hearth and the sunbeams that made their way through the cracks in the walls. The air was thick with smoke; one sniff told me that somebody in here really, really liked the dried scathecraw and hackle-lo mixture that was the native Morrowind replacement for tobacco.
"Adryn?"
I really need to encourage the other two to pick up some Dunmeris. Spokesperson was not in my skillset, and I resented the fact that I kept getting pushed into that role now due to language issues.
Once my eyes adjusted a little more, I realised that in this case, my language skills wouldn't even be necessary. The only man inside the shack, seated behind a desk and staring at us with narrowed eyes, was a Redguard.
…was there some strange local custom where the beer mug symbol actually meant private home, do not enter, I wondered? Because I certainly saw no sign of bottles, mugs, tables, or even anywhere to sit unless you'd like to perch on some crates. If this was supposed to be a tavern, it was the sorriest excuse for one I'd ever seen.
Despite the fact that we were faced with a fellow outlander who almost certainly preferred Tamrielic, neither Dralsi nor Jamie seemed inclined to take the lead. I shot them both a poisonous glance, then made my way towards the Redguard.
"Hello there," I said, doing my best to fix my mind on friendly and diplomatic and capable of keeping her mouth shut for once. "Ah, we're looking for an acquaintance of ours? Name's Nilos Talds, likely travelling with a Redoran noble - there's some urgent news we need to share with him. We were hoping you've seen him around?"
Truth be told, I wasn't expecting this initial approach to yield any fruit, particularly as calling our cover story "thin" was far more generous than it deserved. I was already shifting to pull out my purse, mentally calculating what level of bribe would be appropriate here, when the Redguard let out a long sigh of relief.
"Thank Vivec. I was worried I'd be stuck with the man."
"...what?"
Some minutes later and a trip through a trapdoor later, the three of us had discovered that unpleasant as Nilos Talds might be, he was certainly not arranging surreptitious meetings with cultists or smuggling ash statues at this moment in time. I wasn't an expert, but I was still pretty certain that those activities required you to be able to stand up.
"-wasn't sure what to do," the Redguard was saying. "This isn't a hospital. We don't even rent beds, usually, but the two of them got here late and the Redoran brat insisted." Just remembering made him look as though he'd bitten into a lemon. I gathered from the expression that Morvayn Junior had achieved that exception not in the way that was right and proper (to whit: extreme bribery) but by throwing his weight around. "The next morning the man looked like this," he gestured at the moaning shape buried in a pile of blankets. "Not that it stopped the brat any. Just swanned out easy as you please and left us to deal with the mess."
Nilos Talds was not looking good. His face had an unhealthy pallor, his hair was dark with sweat, and he seemed to be shivering despite the blankets. A bucket on the floor beside the bed along with the faint smell of vomit made it clear that the mess, in this case, was very literal.
"Have you checked him for Blight?"
That was Jamie for you — asking the questions nobody really wanted answered.
The Redguard snorted. "What, do I look like I'm a Temple healer? Not a clue. Not like there's much we can do here for quarantine either way." He paused. "What I can say is that he doesn't have a fever."
"I'll check," I said. "I think I have the hang of it at this point."
Focusing on the magicka and finding the right level for the Detection spell felt like it took an absolutely interminable amount of time today. That might have been due to the Redguard giving me a stare so excessively saturated in doubtfulness that the lack of confidence was almost tangible, but was more likely thanks to me frantically going over what on Nirn we'd have to do if this man did turn out to have the Blight. I'd gotten an earful on proper quarantine procedure from various healers I was familiar with, and knew Jamie had attended a course at the Temple for adept-level Restoration mages which went over what to do with a Blight case in more detail. It'd be an absolute ungodly mess to implement any of the precautions here, to say nothing of the lack of supplies or any actual trained healer.
Finally, I managed to tamp down the spiralling panic enough to focus and let my magical senses expand. Beside me, Jamie was a bonfire of life, the Redguard the same a little further back. Dralsi, I noted sourly, had opted to make herself scarce. Fleeing the risk of quarantine? No matter. I had more important things to think about right now.
Ahead of me, I could sense Talds. Was his flame a little dimmer than Jamie's? A little shadowed? Possibly. But what I was looking for here was the Blight. I remembered the guar I'd encountered with Gelduin, the pulsating feel of its life, the wrongness about it.
Remembered, and saw nothing like it in this man.
"He's clean," I said, slipping out of my trance.
Beside me, Jamie visibly relaxed. Small wonder, given that I imagined she, too, had been going through what an absolute nightmare it would be to try to implement a Blight quarantine here.
"A regular illness? I'll check." With no more fear of contagion, she walked over to the invalid to rest a hand on his forehead. Blue light rose from where they touched.
I frowned. A regular illness would make sense, of course, given that the man was clearly sick with something. It should also be fairly easy to treat with the potions I had with me. At the same time...
The timing on this was just too convenient. The two of them had barely arrived at Hla Oad and Talds just happened to fall sick in a way that left him bedridden? That couldn't possibly be a coincidence, right?
"I'm not finding anything," Jamie murmured from where she was kneeling. Her eyes were closed, her brows drawn together in concentration.
I glanced around the room. There wasn't much to see. The bed, a chest at the end of it, a low bookshelf, a small sidetable.
A half-eaten bowl of soup, on the table. A jug and cup filled with some dark liquid, beside it.
"What's this?" I asked the Redguard.
He shrugged. "Some tea blend - supposed to be medicinal, apparently. The Redoran brat told me to make it, said it'd help him get better. I figured it couldn't hurt. Dunno what's in it, I'm a kava man myself."
Things were coming together in my mind. Without responding, I picked up the cup. Took the smallest of sips. Swilled the liquid from side to side in my mouth.
Kreshweed and willow anther — it made for a strong taste, especially with the acridity of scathecraw lurking in the mix. The resulting brew was tart enough to strip your tongue, enough so that most people would likely be unable to make out anything else.
I, however, was a trained alchemist. I let my eyes fall closed as I concentrated.
There, hidden beneath the willow anther. The taste was faint, but so distinctive once you knew what you were looking for.
Bittergreen.
I spat the liquid into the bucket. Then I reached for the water-flask hanging off my belt and rinsed out my mouth twice. Untreated bittergreen was not something I wanted to mess around with.
Even if the dosage must be low, given that Talds was still alive.
I looked up at the watchers. Given the dawning realisation in their eyes, I probably didn’t need to say it. I did anyway.
"He's been poisoned."
Jamie’s eyes met mine. Unspoken, the understanding passed between us: we likely had a second Varvur on our hands.
Luckily for Talds, never to mention the very harried Redguard who'd been drafted as a nurse, bittergreen poisoning was fairly easy to treat once you knew what you were dealing with, at least provided it wasn't too far advanced. Talds' was not — as I’d suspected, the proportion of bittergreen in the tea was quite low. I had the impression that whatever had been done to him (let's be honest, whatever Morvayn Junior, now also known as Varvur II, had done to him) had been meant to get him temporarily out of the way rather than actually kill him. After the application of a few healing spells and two of the general-purpose antidotes I'd brought with me, Talds was sitting up in bed.
"I don't know what happened. I never get sick."
Jamie and I traded glances. Talds had been too out of it to understand what we'd been talking about earlier, and too much of an alchemical dunce to notice that the potion he'd drunk hadn't been one for diseases. Do we need to tell him, because if so I call Not Me, I attempted to send to Jamie through the power of my mind and meaningful eyebrow waggling. I interpreted Jamie's raised brow in return as I called Not Me first, which was frankly unfair .
"It happens to the best of us," I said in a soothing voice, and opted not to mention that it definitely happened to the best of us if someone fed us multiple doses of powdered bittergreen leaf. My best guess was that Morvayn Junior must have spiked the man's meal the night they arrived, then made sure to leave the doctored tea to keep him sick. "Your charge didn't wait for you?"
Talds groaned - a sound we'd heard quite a lot of until this point, but I was fairly sure that for once it was being brought forth by emotional rather than physical pain.
"No. I've told him a thousand times if I've told him once, stay with the bodyguard, don't rush off on your own - but he's too impatient, the fool." For all his harsh words, there was a gruff fondness in his tone. I swallowed. We'd have to tell him eventually, and I didn't look forward to it. "I need to go find him-"
When Talds made to get out of bed, Jamie put a hand on his shoulder to push him back down.
"You're still unwell, sir. Please just... focus on recovering for now. We can forward a message to the Morvayns for you to let them know what's happened."
Talds winced. Imagining how that message would go, I couldn't blame him. Admitting you'd lost the person you were supposed to be guarding had to smart already, and plenty of noblemen had no patience for any sort of mortal frailty in their subordinates. He was probably preparing for a dressing-down at best.
"We can also have a look around to see if we can spot young lord Morvayn for you." Careful, now. "That way we can point you in the right direction once you're up and walking again."
Talds blinked at me, an expression that made him look a little like a stunned trout. "You'd do that? Really?" A pause. "You know... none of you are that bad, for outlanders."
The words were spoken in a tone of slowly-dawning realization - of a bigot having his worldview challenged, possibly taking the first slow steps towards being less of a bigot one day. A truly altruistic, compassionate person would applaud such a development. Personally, I was more occupied by suppressing the urge to respond with some choice words. At the rate my time on this island was going, I'd develop a knee-jerk reaction to that word involving me throwing a welt-raising potion straight into the face of whoever had spoken it this time. If so, who could possibly convict me.
"Great. So glad we meet your approval." I tried to keep my voice friendly but could hear the strain in it. "Any chance you know where the guy was planning to go?"
Alas, he did not. Talds himself had been just as much in the dark as any of us regarding the reason why Morvayn Junior had travelled to Hla Oad, or what exactly he'd been planning on doing here. From the long-suffering way he explained this fact I got the impression that it wasn't a particularly unusual occurrence. At any rate, I escaped the room a few minutes later no wiser than before.
Jamie and the Redguard proprietor were having a hushed conversation just past the threshold. "-thanks you for supporting Hireling Talds in this trying time. Please contact Neminda at the Redoran Council Hall under Skar in Ald'ruhn for compensation-"
"I'll do that, but... don't worry about it, really." The man's face twisted. "He was an ass when they arrived, true, but not enough of one to deserve that. Least I can do is let him recover."
For all that Jamie and I had tiptoed around informing Talds himself, the fact that I'd we'd instructed him to bring the doctored tea to an alchemist or apothecary for disposal and avoid touching it with his bare hands had made the situation more than obvious to the tradehouse owner. The fact that he did have enough knowledge to recognise an antidote potion when it was being tipped down someone's throat had no doubt helped.
Maybe, a small part of me said, he could handle the revelation, and Jamie and I wouldn't have to bother.
"And I was the fool who just fed him something a stranger handed me-"
"-you couldn't possibly have expected-"
All right, this conversation sounded like it didn't need my involvement. I drifted away from the two Redguards, wondering where Dralsi had gotten off to.
The small room where Talds had been tucked away was down a narrow corridor in the cellar of the tradehouse, the trapdoor leading to it having been concealed behind some very purposely placed crates. I'd only had to give the arrangement a single look to suspect that this extra floor was likely not known to local law enforcement.
More importantly, how? We were in a swamp! By all rights, we should be underwater right now! Had the proprietor saved an archmage's life and been repaid by master-level water-repelling enchantments, or what?
I reluctantly accepted that I was unlikely to get any answer to this and it was almost certainly not relevant to anything we were doing anyway, and did my best to push the question out of my mind. It fought back, leaving the itch of unfulfilled curiosity behind all the while. I should probably go look for Dralsi before I went back and started interrogating our host about architecture.
The main part of the lower level was a large, open space with scattered tables and shelves bearing bottles along the walls. I suspected this served as the town's main tavern and meeting area, which said something about how deeply the criminal element had inveigled itself into affairs here. At this time of day it was fairly deserted, empty save for a group of three Dunmer huddling together in one corner and...
...Dralsi talking with a Khajiit in another.
"-now," I heard as I approached, "I'm sure this will never happen again, right?"
"Ra'Zhid has learned his lesson, yes."
"I certainly hope so. Because if it turns out he hasn't, I might just have to come back."
The Khajiit's whiskers trembled. His tail, when I glanced at where it was wrapped around his leg, looked like a bottlebrush. "That will not be necessary, certainly not. Ah... shall Ra'Zhid fetch Habasi's friend something to drink?" A brief pause. "Ra'Zhid's friend, he meant to say. Because we are all friends here, yes?"
It looked like Dralsi had the latest of Habasi's tasks well in hand without my help. I was more than happy to leave her to it; putting the fear of Vaermina into a guild member who thought he'd skim a little off the top was, unfortunately, sometimes a necessary part of operations but not in any way in line with my natural inclinations. Or talents, for that matter. Ranis already had me doing far too much strong-arming, in my opinion, and if I could stay out of it here I would.
But someone had to start looking into where Morvayn Junior had vanished off to after so handily disposing of his bodyguard. With Dralsi occupied and Jamie still talking with the Redguard proprietor, there was unfortunately one obvious candidate remaining.
My eyes travelled back to the Dunmer in the other corner. All three were clad in the sort of simple clothing a labourer or shiphand might wear, the only hint of extravagance bands of embroidery winking from collar and cuff - a style of adornment I'd seen more than a few times here in Morrowind. All three only had small bags with them, rather than the large pack I bore myself, and the number of mazte bottles between them said that they'd been there for a while.
They looked, in short, like regulars. Locals. The sort of people who might, possibly, have been here when a Redoran noble decided to go off on his own and might have an idea of where he'd gone.
Well. Here was hoping my sense of tact and diplomacy was having an unusually good day.
An hour or so later found Jamie, Dralsi and me conferring a little ways outside town. Dralsi had arrived with a smile on her face and a bulky pack that occasionally let out a clinking noise as she walked — Ra'Zhid's stolen goods, no doubt. I had to admit to some relief that she'd managed to sort that out without violence. Thieves weren't always very happy to be told who they could and couldn't steal from, in my experience.
But because Dralsi had been occupied with other matters, she hadn't found any clues towards where Morvayn Junior might have gone.
"Ra'Zhid hadn't seen him around," she volunteered. "Or didn't want to tell me. He wasn't exactly in a talkative mood, if you know what I mean."
"Of course not." Jamie's voice was very flat, and she didn't look particularly happy. I thought she suspected what Dralsi had been up to and didn't like it at all.
Another reason to be glad I'd been able to stay out of it. I'd need to do something nice for Dralsi in thanks. Some sleeping potions, maybe?
"Did you have any luck, Jamie?" Moving the conversation swiftly onwards was probably a good gesture as well.
"Well... I'm not actually sure." Jamie looked puzzled. "Nobody mentioned Morvayn, but I definitely found something strange I'd like to investigate."
"Oh?"
One of the first people Jamie had opted to take aside to ask for clues, she explained, had been an Argonian. A very stressed Argonian, it turned out, due to the fact that she was being haunted by a murder victim. Julielle Aumine had run afoul of some bandits a little ways down the road to Seyda Neen, and her spirit was absolutely not resting in peace. From the sounds of it, she was making her desire for revenge emphatically clear to poor Okur, who hadn't had a good night's sleep in weeks now. The Argonian was likely one of the people far more sensitive to spirits and the departed than average, a gift that situations like this one proved was more to be pitied than envied.
Jamie, it turned out, had reacted to this story by volunteering to follow up on the matter of the bandits.
"I do not understand how the two of you manage to get into these situations." Dralsi shook her head. "Some of us manage to walk down the street without getting roped into nonsense like this."
"Hey," Jamie protested. "Don't lump me in with Adryn."
"I hate to ask," I interrupted, hoping to avert any commentary on my ability to find — ahem, be found by — trouble. "But do you have any reason to believe this is connected to what Morvayn is up to?"
Jamie glanced to the side. "...not precisely," she admitted. "But it's something odd happening nearby, so it could be connected. And Okur was miserable, I can't just leave her hanging."
I had a sudden inkling of what it must feel like to deal with me sometimes and didn't like it at all.
"Well, it looks like you're our last hope, kid. Any clues?"
I sighed. "Not as such. But I did get to talking with one of the Dunmer in the tradehouse cellar, and they mentioned that there's a smuggler's dock a little to the south of the village, and that there's a ship that should have arrived earlier today. One of them asked me to run a message to the captain, so I've got an excuse to go check it out."
At my side, Dralsi stilled. "The three that were in the corner when we arrived? One woman, two men?"
"Yes. Why?"
The trio had thawed rapidly the moment I addressed them in Dunmeris. I'd been forced to tolerate some comments about being one of the good ones, at one point verging into a rant about how it was good to see some people were willing to make an effort so as not to bring shame on their ancestors, but we'd quickly managed to move past that awkwardness when I discovered that Llemisa occasionally worked as a freelance apothecary. Talking shop had ended up eating more time than I'd planned on, although at the same time I doubted I'd have had any more success than Jamie poking around town.
And Dralsi hadn't responded. "Dralsi? Why do you ask?"
Dralsi blinked at me, clearly torn out of some thoughts. "Oh. It's... nothing."
I crossed my arms and gave her my very best Azha-tested stern look. "The way you're looking at me doesn't make it seem like nothing ."
"All right, it's not important right now, how about that? I'll tell you later." Dralsi shook her head. "So Jamie is off to handle some bandits, while you're going to look in on this smugglers' ship. If neither of you mind, I think I'll join you, Adryn. It sounds like a more promising lead, and I'm pretty sure I'll be more useful there than trying to be backup."
I fought to squash the relief bubbling up within me back down. I was a grown adult who had already faced many trials on this island, had faced Daedric pilgrims, dangerous murderers, naked Nords, misfiring teleportation spells, Controlling statues, and even nobility without batting an eye. (At least that was my story; anyone claiming to have witnessed otherwise was obviously lying). I did not need anyone to hold my hand, I told myself sternly.
"Well, I guess it makes more sense than you trying to chase up more leads on your own," I said, sounding — if you asked me — very much like a mature woman who was accepting this only because it was the logical state of affairs and certainly not relieved to not be alone.
"Of course, kid." Dralsi gave me a grin that was verging on a smirk. I didn't think she'd bought it. "Shall we?"
The smuggler's dock was cleverly situated, in a narrow inlet that curved around an overgrown rise. The vegetation was thick here, the shrubbery dense enough that Dralsi and I had to step carefully so as not to get our clothing caught on bushes while the trees blocked out the faint wintry daylight, and I suspected that any ship that docked here would be well and truly invisible from the sea. We certainly didn't spot the one currently present until we were almost on top of it, although thankfully our training was still strong enough that none of the crew saw us.
Ingerte would have been able to explain the ship to me, I thought with a faint pang of grief. She'd always been uncommonly interested in nautical matters, and would have been able to go into detail about what it meant that the ship had only a single mast with square rigging, or that the figurine at its prow was carved in the shape of a dragon's head and painted yellow and black. All I could really say that it was definitely a ship, small enough to be a smuggler's vessel, and it was to all appearances in the process of being unloaded. Several Nords were bustling around, carrying large crates down a plank to where they were being stacked.
Just past the gangway, two men had apparently decided not to help the others. Instead, they were deep in conversation. The first was also a Nord, tall, muscular and with blond hair braided back from his face. The captain, I suspected, which meant that this looked to be an all-Nord smuggling operation. At least Windhelm to Hla Oad was an convoluted enough trip that I doubted they'd been that far. Running into smugglers I'd worked with before in Skyrim would absolutely raise some problems I didn't care to deal with at this point.
As for the second man…
"That him?" Dralsi murmured into my ear from where we were crouching behind a bush.
"If it's not, I'd be really surprised."
Since Morvayn Junior had been left out of the interviews, I hadn't actually met the man before. But the age and gender were dead on, and surely only a noble would be fool enough to wear clothing that fine to a smuggler's meeting in a swamp. Never to mention that I'd managed to pick up some knowledge of local styles, and the red silk jerkin just about screamed Redoran .
The one thing that didn't fit with what I'd heard of the man was the demeanour. Every single tale people had told had made him sound like he was the quintessential indolent nobleman's son, lazing about when he wasn't off drinking with friends, with about as much natural authority as a sea slug. Here, now, Junior was animated and decisive, punctuating whatever he was saying with emphatic gestures.
Almost like a different person.
Dralsi and I ducked back a little as a crate on legs approached. Some yards away, the Nord crewmember set down his burden on the marshy ground and straightened with a wince. "My Talos-damned back... can't lift properly, can't sleep properly, I'm really getting too old for this job."
Then, slowly, he turned to make his way back to the ship, leaving the crate behind.
"Hey, kid? You have any Chameleon potions?" Dralsi whispered.
"Hmm?"
For some reason, the crate kept catching my attention. I didn't know why. It was a simple thing made from wood, I must have seen hundreds exactly like it in my life, and yet there was something about it... something I was missing...
"Chameleon potions. I think I might be able to get a little closer if I duck behind the crate, but-"
"Do not do that."
The words bubbled up from deep within me, leaving my conscious mind taken aback. After all, it wasn't a bad plan, surely.
Except for the fact that I was suddenly, irrevocably convinced that getting so much as a foot closer to that crate would be a terrible mistake.
"What?" I could feel Dralsi looking at me oddly. "Why not?"
...outlander...
"Sh! Do you hear that?"
"Hear what? "
Just barely on the edge of my hearing. A whispering. It could have been the wind through dry leaves, but-
...the sleeper wakes...
But I'd heard this before.
And with that, my conscious mind caught up to my subconscious, and I knew what was in that crate.
"We have to get out of here. Now."
" What? "
I didn't explain, didn't want for Dralsi to catch up, shook her off when she tried to grab me. I just bolted upright, taking several large steps backwards-
"Oi! Who goes there?"
-and just maybe I should have considered the fact that we'd been in hiding before making any dramatic movements.
If one were capable of wielding magicka solely through gaze, without either gestures or incantation, I had no doubt Dralsi's furious stare would have set me on fire by now.
All right, I told myself silently. This was absolutely not the moment to panic. I did understand and appreciate that panic was extremely appealing right now, because I was willing to wager my new alchemy lab that I was far closer to another of those cursed statues than I'd ever wanted to be again, but being murdered by a bunch of angry smugglers would not actually be an improvement. I needed to tamp down on all the parts of me that wanted to run gibbering into the forests and figure out a way to talk myself out of this.
How handy that I already had an excuse ready-made.
"Er, hello? Is this Captain Velfred with the Grytewake?" With any luck, my blundering should make it look as though I'd only just come down the path from Hla Oad, not that I'd been spying on them for a while already. "Relam Arinith sent me with a message from town." Despite the fact that every bone in my body wanted to turn in the other direction, I forced myself to continue towards the clearing at an easy pace. I did end up giving the crate of statues something of a berth - after due consideration, even the risk of being murdered by an angry group of Nords for spying wasn't dire enough to get any closer to that thing - but hoped it wasn't too obvious.
"Oh? What's old Relam got to tell me, then?" the big Nord drawled. Next to him, Morvayn Junior was still, his eyes fixed on me like a snake eyeing a mouse. I had to suppress a shudder.
"He wanted to let you know he has some cargo that needs to be transported, and to ask when the best time would be to bring it across." Even as I spoke, I had to fight against a rising queasiness. I hadn't thought anything of Relam's request at the time - just another smuggler trying to move his goods, I'd figured. Unfortunately, I'd just been given a very harsh reminder of exactly what goods some of these smugglers were moving. Was Relam also involved in the business with the Sixth House?
Velfred smirked.
"Ah... what a shame, what a shame. You see, I've recently come into a far more lucrative deal than running Tong goods up and down the coast with a Tong cut taken out. I'm afraid you'll have to tell old Relam that our deal's off."
All right, then.
The good news was that it sounded like I hadn't accidentally run errands for the Sixth House.
The bad news was that there were only two organizations on this island that I knew could be shortened to Tong, and I doubted Relam was a sanctioned assassin.
Dralsi and I would be having words after this, I decided. She'd been surprised when I mentioned who I'd spoken with — she must have known. Which meant that she could really have let me in on the fact that I'd just made friends with a group of Camonna Namira-cursed Tong. No wonder they only thawed after I proved that I was learning Dunmeris.
Of course, I could do that later. Because there was more bad news, and it was this: depending on how firm the previous agreement had been, how the Camonna Tong typically reacted to this sort of betrayal and how protected Velfred was by his new patrons, he might yet decide to communicate the change of plans by murdering the messenger. To whit: me.
This combined with the statues meant that it was time and past to get out of here.
"Ah... all right. Very, um, sorry to hear that. I'll let him know, then," I managed, and fled.
Luckily for me, Velfred opted not to make his break with the Tong final by means of murder. Nobody attacked me. No one came after me. I managed to get out of that feeling with only the feeling of Morvayn Junior's eyes boring into my back to accompany me.
A little ways into the forest, Dralsi reappeared at my side, a scowl on her face. "No point in investigating more after you left, they were paying more attention. Thanks ever so for just alerting all of them for no reason, by the way. And here I thought I wasn't working with an amateur."
In any other situation, that comment might have stung. Here and now, it bounced off me like a raindrop off a rain-shield. "You didn't want to investigate more closely. Trust me on this one." I rubbed my arms, as if to ward off a chill. "I'm hoping we weren't already too close, but honestly? We should both pay a visit to one of the Temple shrines as soon as we can, and absolutely before we go to sleep tonight. Call it preventative care."
Dralsi, I'd learned over the course of our acquaintance so far, was the furthest possible thing from stupid. She proved it again here, because after a split second her brow was smoothing out, realization sparking in her eyes. "You sensed those statues, then."
"Yes." The single word felt strangely final, like closing a door. "I think we have enough to take to Neminda, now."
Of course, before heading back to Ald'ruhn so we could get the machinery of Redoran justice rolling, it was necessary to finish our business in Hla Oad. We should probably wait for Jamie to get back, or at least send her a message, for one... but it would also be best not to tip anyone off by acting suspicious. For instance, if I didn't return to Relam, he'd likely send another messenger to Velfred or go himself — which would in turn let our local Sixth House smuggler know that I wasn't precisely what I'd pretended to be.
"Admit it. You just want to do something nice for your new Camonna Tong buddies."
"Shut up, Dralsi."
"What have we learned about making friends with suspicious criminals in the middle of Tong territory?"
"Shut up, Dralsi."
I still hadn't entirely forgiven her for just letting me walk straight into that. It wasn't as if anyone had ever decided to inform me Hla Oad was a Camonna Tong town!
I left Dralsi at the entrance to the tradehouse (I wanted to object for the sake of it, but had to agree with her that Relam and his friends were unlikely to appreciate an unrepentant outlander like Dralsi) as I headed downstairs to report back. And also wonder about what my life had become, that I was reporting back to a Camonna Tong member.
As expected, Relam was less than happy about Velfred's change of loyalties. At least, that was how I interpreted the long list of genuine Dunmeris curse words he treated me to when I told him.
"-Vivec's spear, " he ended them, "what am I supposed to do now? Cargo's time-sensitive and I certainly can't run it anywhere-"
I was not going to help. Even if talking to Relam again reminded me of how much I'd enjoyed chatting with him earlier. He remained a member of the Camonna Tong, I remained involuntarily pressed into service with an organisation they were having a guild war with, and this could really go nowhere.
"-say, didn't you say you were heading to Balmora after this?"
Ancestors damn it.
"...yes?" I answered warily.
"Excellent!" Relam brightened. "Then you can take it. It's an easy trip - you just have to bring it to Vorar Helas, eastside just by the watch-tower."
No. This wasn't happening. I refused to let this happen.
"So sorry, but I'm on foot, no pack-guar or anything, I really won't be able to carry anything, and I really can't risk guard attention-"
Something was off about the smile on Relam's face. "Oh, don't worry about it. There's no risk, and the cargo practically carries itself. Shall I show you?"
I wanted to say no. I was absolutely certain that I wanted no part of this. But...
Maybe it was morbid curiosity. Maybe some long-dormant instinct sparking. But something was telling me that if I walked away now, I'd be missing something important.
"Lead the way," I said, and prayed I wouldn't regret it.
I'd liked him.
That was almost the worst of it, somehow. I'd spent so much time talking with him, volunteered to carry his messages, because I'd liked him. Relam had been friendly enough after I proved I was making an effort with Dunmeris, willing to chat about my favourite topic, and shown an irreverent sense of humour I could appreciate. Even after learning about his Tong ties, I'd been clinging to that first impression. The Camonna Tong were just another criminal organization, weren't they? I could hardly throw stones when it came to getting tangled up in organized crime. And for all the xenophobia ascribed to the Tong, the fact that Relam had been willing to deal with Nord Velfred meant he couldn't be that bad.
So I'd tried to convince myself. Had half-succeeded, even, until Relam - smiling broadly - had cracked open the door to the storeroom where he said he was keeping the cargo.
Cargo. I wasn't sure I could hear that word without wanting to throw up, right now.
The Khajiit reminded me, horribly, of Ajira. Older, true, but with a similar coat colour and face markings, similar luminescent green eyes. But if I ever saw Ajira in the same state as this woman - beaten down, far too thin, with nothing but despair in her gaze - I'd need to reconsider my stance on lethal violence.
"-just take her to Voror, easy as anything. And don't worry about the money. You'll get a nice cut, and she's worth far more than you'd think looking at her." The smirk I'd found amusing earlier now sent a cold shiver down my spine. "She won't give you any trouble. Now will you, Rabinna?"
"No, master." The Khajiit's - Rabinna's, he'd called her - voice was barely more than a whisper, but the hopelessness was almost strong enough to taste already. I might have to reconsider my stance on lethal violence right here and now.
"So? What do you say?"
For a moment, a very brief moment, I thought about telling him exactly where he could take the whole thing. Making it truly, emphatically clear what I thought of slavers, no matter how friendly their smile or interesting their alchemical opinions. It would leave me able to hold my head high, not having compromised my principles even in pretense.
Of course, Rabinna would be doomed.
"All right," I said, and hated the words even as they left my mouth. "Where did you say you wanted her brought to, again?"
By the time I left the tradehouse, Jamie had gotten back. This meant I had two pairs of eyes goggling at us when I exited with a bedraggled Khajiit slave trailing behind me.
"Kid. What is this."
Sadly for Dralsi, in the middle of Hla Oad was not the place I wanted to let her in on recent happenings. "Uh. I fully understand and support that you would like to know what's going on, but... can we maybe catch up on this somewhere else? "
Dralsi's mouth opened. Closed. Her eyes wandered from me to Rabinna and back. I could feel that she wanted answers sooner rather than later, and steeled myself for a confrontation.
In the end, though, her better sense seemed to win out. She sighed, deflated. "Come on, then."
The four of us trudged to what I hoped wouldn't become our secret outside meeting place. Hla Oad had not made such a good impression on me that I wanted to spend much more time here. To say nothing of the fact that certain Camonna Tong members were likely to be very unhappy with me in the future, seeing as I had absolutely no intention of bringing Rabinna anywhere except to freedom.
Speaking of, she was worrying me. She might be a slave, true, but I'd still expected... some semblance of a spark of defiance. Or hope. Or at least curiosity. She'd just been unceremoniously handed over to someone else - was she that certain that I'd just blindly follow Relam's instructions? Did I, I thought with some level of insult, look like a slave-owner?
But Rabinna simply trudged in my wake, not sparing a glance in either direction, so downcast that even her tail was dragging on the ground behind her. It made me uneasy.
Once we'd reached what I guessed Dralsi considered a safe distance from town, she whirled around. "All right, my turn. Adryn, who is this, what's going on, and why is she wearing a slave bracer?"
I sighed. I'd hoped Dralsi would wait for somewhere where we could sit down - Rabinna, at the very least, looked like she really needed a break - but apparently that was too much to expect of her ability to be patient.
"Dralsi, Jamie, this is Rabinna. Rabinna, my friends. Ah... when I went back to Relam, he asked me if I could take 'the cargo'," I spat the words, "to Balmora. When I saw what he meant by that, well... I couldn't just leave her there."
It struck me that I was talking about Rabinna in the third person while she was present. That this was, in fact, an experience she'd probably had a great deal recently, especially at the hands of Dunmer like myself. Swallowing back bile, I turned to her, forced myself to meet those green eyes absolutely devoid of hope.
"I, um, have no intention of taking you to what's-his-name in Balmora, by the way. Sorry I didn't make that clear earlier, I was worried someone would overhear and it'd get back to the Tong. But I hate slavery. I want you to be free."
Disturbingly enough, Rabinna's demeanour barely changed at all. Her whiskers twitched, her ears perked slightly, then lowered again, but her eyes stayed the same. Most importantly, no trace of hope made its way onto her face.
Had she not understood me? Did I need to try Ta'agra?
But before I could try my hand at translation, Dralsi interrupted.
"Which is all well and good, but I have to point out that you seem to have forgotten that we're in a hurry, we have time-sensitive news, and maybe - just maybe - this isn't the time to go rescuing slaves!"
I winced.
It was true that, faced with Rabinna's desperation, the incident at the Grytewake had slipped my mind. The fact that I'd had a close call with another statue might have to do with that - I really needed to make sure to pass by the Temple cleansing shrine at the next opportunity - but honestly, just the shock of coming so up close and personal with slavery probably explained it. Dralsi was right that we needed to get news of the ash statues on the Grytewake and, especially, Morvayn Junior's clear involvement, to Ald'ruhn as soon as we could... but at the same time, it wasn't exactly as if I could have asked Rabinna to wait until I had enough free time to help her.
"Look-" I started, not entirely sure how I was going to finish the sentence but feeling absolutely certain that however it ended, relations between Dralsi and me were likely to deteriorate at that point.
It turned out I didn't have to, because this was the point where Rabinna apparently decided she was sick of being talked about without her input.
"It doesn't matter, because there is no need to slow down for Rabinna." Her voice was low and scratchy. "You can simply leave her here."
All three of us stopped and stared at her.
"I have to point out that we're hardly past Hla Oad, and it's all wilderness around us." Jamie was the one to break the silence, her voice hesitant. "I... I don't know if you think you can make your own way, but-"
"Oh, Rabinna does not."
I didn't like that tone. Rabinna sounded calm. Rabinna sounded resigned, and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Given that there seemed to be no reason I could see for her to be feeling like this, I was very afraid of where this was going.
"Rabinna does not ask you to leave her here so she can make her way to freedom on her own. Rabinna asks you to leave her here so she can die."
My stomach sank, abruptly, to the point where I half-thought the organ had seized a shovel and begun digging. I'd been right that I wouldn't like where this was going, but for once being right about something gave me no joy at all.
"That," I tried to make my voice firm, emphatic, "was not the point of getting away from that man. Quite frankly, I was hoping for you to be able to have a long and happy life."
"Rabinna knows, and appreciates it." Rabinna dipped her head towards me in what was almost a shallow bow. "It is the Skooma Cat's own joke, she fears. She has spent a long time hoping for someone in this land to have mercy and kindness, to look upon Rabinna and see she is not meant to be chained. And finally, finally Rabinna has found someone of this sort - but only after it is already too late."
"What, exactly," I managed, "do you mean by that?"
And then Rabinna explained the true horror of what had been done to her.
The Tong were involved in moon sugar smuggling. Obviously the Tong was involved in moon sugar smuggling. Every criminal organization worth its salt had its hand in that pie somewhere. However, of late they'd been having more trouble with their routes. Increased patrols around the coast and a greater guard presence in town, intended to catch people trying to breach quarantine, had the side effect of making it harder for the actual smugglers to operate.
At this point, Relam had an idea. It might even qualify as a brilliant one, provided you were a complete monster.
Wrap the moon sugar carefully and treat it in a protective wash, then force slaves to swallow it. The wrapping and wash would keep it from dissolving in their stomachs for a time, while the slaves could be brought from place to place without drawing attention. Slavery being legal in Morrowind, no Hlaalu guard would give a group of slavers a second glance. And then, when the slave arrived at her destination-
"But how do they get the sugar back out? " Jamie had asked. I could tell from the look on her face that she'd already figured it out, but was desperately hoping she was wrong.
Rabinna was disinclined to oblige her. "With a blade, of course. Cut open the stomach, retrieve the wrapped moon sugar. The slave dies, this is obvious, but nobody cares about another dead slave. The sugar is far more valuable." Her lips peeled back in the first sign of anger I'd seen from her. "Relam made it very clear to Rabinna."
"But..." And now it was my turn for a question I already knew the answer to. "What happens if nobody does that?"
Rabinna looked at me. I'd gotten the impression, through this conversation, that she thought of me and Jamie, our open shock and horror, as unbearably naive, and now I thought I could see the strangest hint of pity in that gaze. "Eventually, the wrappings are broken down, the moon sugar begins to be absorbed. But... a slave is not as expensive as the sugar, but not cheap either, yes? The trip must be worth something. So Relam forces Rabinna and the others to swallow many of the sugar-balls, very many, to the point where her stomach hurts from them even now."
I closed my eyes, as if I'd be able to hide from the truth that way. "You're saying that it's too much sugar for anyone to ingest at once. You'll get an overdose and die."
It wasn't fair. It couldn't just end like this. I couldn't have been given the opportunity to save her, only to have to-
"Rabinna is grateful, truly." Any anger I thought I'd seen was long gone. Rabinna was still calm. No - serene. Serene was the word I'd been looking for and missing, all this time. It sent cold shivers down my spine. "Too much moon-sugar is a kind death, far kinder than having her stomach sliced open. And she will be able to die free. This is more than Rabinna has been able to hope for in a long time."
I had the strangest feeling that Rabinna was trying to comfort me. It made me feel sick to my stomach.
"All right, " Dralsi said loudly. "Now that we've gotten that sorted out..." She flinched under my gimlet gaze. "Look, I am sorry, but it sounds like there's nothing we can do - and it was you two who drummed into my head how dangerous these people we're after are and how much damage they could do unchecked. We really, truly do not have the time for this."
For a moment, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a knife-blade, ready to fall one way or the other. Should I go along with what Dralsi was saying, leave Rabinna here to her fate? From the sounds of it, it was true that there was nothing we could do for her, and also true that delaying any further on getting news back to Redoran could cause serious problems (never to mention cause Neminda to murder us). Rabinna would be left to die alone, but it was possible that would be kinder. It sat very badly with me how she seemed to be trying to reassure us right now. I hated the thought of her sitting in the swamp, fading into a sugar delirium from which she would never wake, and still trying to make me feel better about the whole thing.
All very rational and pragmatic. And yet some buried part of me was howling no . Call me naive, call me a fool unable to see the big picture, but I refused to give up on Rabinna's life like that. Surely there must be something we could do. Surely we could at least try.
At my side, Jamie cleared her throat. "This seems like the right time to mention that I have some friends among the healers in Ald'ruhn Temple... and one of them is knowledgeable in surgery."
In the end, we split up.
Dralsi went ahead to inform Neminda of our findings. The fact that Dralsi shouldn't, by rights, have even known about our investigation briefly stumped us, but then I hit on the genius idea of sending a letter. Jamie and I quickly jotted down what we'd — let's be honest, mainly I'd — discovered. Dralsi would act as an ignorant acquaintance we'd talked into running the message for us, knowing we'd be caught up in other things and needing the news to get to Redoran as soon as possible. The arrangement had the advantage that we wouldn't be entering Balmora together, something I got the impression Dralsi was still leery of.
In the meantime, Jamie and I had to figure out a way to get Rabinna to Ald'ruhn. The time limit imposed by the moon sugar in her stomach meant that we had to go through Balmora and the Mages' Guild — any overland route would take too long. However, Rabinna was, technically, now an escaped slave, and that was the sort of thing the Hlaalu guards looked out for. Even after ridding her of her slave bracer, her clothes spoke to her status... never to mention that the interview all travellers were currently forced to undergo at the gates might become a problem.
In theory, we could have let her enter as a slave. However, I viewed that as an option of last resort. I didn't know at what point Relam would realise that his delivery of cargo had gotten lost along the way, or what steps he'd take to find out what had happened. As things stood, I hoped he wouldn't have the easiest time finding me — I'd had my most recognisable feature covered the whole day, hadn't stated my guild affiliation, and realised afterwards that through our conversation I'd likely accidentally given the impression I lived in Balmora. However, all such attempts at obfuscation would be for naught if the gate guards ended up with a record of me (complete with name, guild affiliations and place of residence) and Rabinna entering together.
Also, I only thought about this option after I'd already dropped the slave bracer in the deepest bog I could find with extreme prejudice.
In the end, what saved us was actually Jamie's unplanned adventure to take revenge on behalf of a lingering spirit, little as I'd liked it at the time. Jamie had picked up some — call it what it was, loot — while on her bloody business, one of the items being an expensive-looking robe she'd been hoping to sell to a pawnbroker. It fit Rabinna well enough. A quick wash of her face at the river, a rejuvenating spell courtesy of Jamie, a temporary strengthening potion courtesy of me, and the slave Rabinna had been transformed into accomplished mage Jo'binna. I lent her my Slowfall amulet to complete the picture. It itched not having it on me, but (I promised myself repeatedly) it was only until we were in Ald'ruhn. And bearing an expensive-looking, clearly enchanted amulet could only further solidify Jo'binna's image.
Up until this point, Rabinna hadn't seemed particularly enthusiastic about the plan. I had the terrible impression that she'd resigned herself to death so strongly it was easier to simply humour us than really, truly believe she could be saved. But when she slipped into the robes life sparked in her eyes, life I'd been missing up until now. Her performance as Jo'binna, preeminent research mage with the ego to match, was top-notch. If I hadn't known better, I would've believed it myself.
Guards and Blight check successfully traversed, we didn't make straight for the guild. It was tempting, true, but the guild would definitely be curious about Jo'binna, research mage. They would above all be curious about how exactly they'd never met or heard of her before, especially given that with the travel interdict we weren't exactly getting visitors from the mainland anymore. For all Rabinna's unforeseen acting skills, I couldn't see that going well.
Instead, I went to the guild alone and talked with Ajira.
As I'd expected, my friend was more than happy to help once told of the details. Ajira couldn't have made it more obvious how she felt about slavery if she wrote it in fireworks, and I'd been harbouring a suspicion that she was involved in some sort of freedom trail - or at least knew them by acquaintance. She opted to close shop a little earlier and the four of us returned to Ajira's small home, where she rummaged around to find some far plainer robes to lend to Rabinna.
"If friend Adryn should encounter someone in similar need in the future," she told me as she dug in a closet, "she may consider bringing them to the Argonian Embassy, in Ebonheart. The embassy workers are... not fond of the exceptions granted to Morrowind by the Empire. They have exceptions of their own, so if they decide to say that Hlaalu guards may not enter the embassy to search for an escaped slave, well, the guards may not enter. Hlaalu is angry about it, very angry, but the Imperial government holds firm."
That was definitely something good to know for the future. Maybe even for the present - perhaps we could take Rabinna there after she'd been freed of the drugs slowly poisoning her. Said drugs did mean it wouldn't have been an option as our first port of call this time even if we'd known about it. Who knew if the embassy had surgery-trained staff, and it would have taken too long to get there in any case.
Speaking of which, we needed to get a move on.
Just when I was about to urge Ajira to hurry, she pulled out a robe from the chest she'd been rooting through. "There. This is too long for Ajira, she keeps meaning to hem it but never finding the time. It should fit Jo'binna."
I'd told Ajira Rabinna's real name. The fact that she was using the alias instead felt... weighty, somehow. Meaningful, in a way I couldn't quite understand.
"Ajira sends all the luck and cunning and steadfastness of her ancestors with this gift. May the twin lamps guide Jo'binna's way." she continued. Then, in quite serviceable Ta'agra: "May she walk free beneath the sun."
Rabinna hesitated a long moment. Then, she took the robe with a deep bow. "May she walk free over the dunes," she responded in significantly more fluent Ta'agra. Everything about Rabinna made me think that she was recently come to Morrowind, perhaps captured in a Dres slave-raid in Elsweyr. I knew Ajira sometimes had trouble with Khajiit from Elsweyr, feeling the weight of culture and heritage that had been lost and often being met with more scorn than sympathy. It seemed that recent enslavement was, however, enough to bridge the gap.
And then it was time to get moving.
The guild was almost deserted as I and Rabinna — now in the guise of Jo'binna, a simple hedge-mage beneath the notice of anyone important — made our way to Masalinie. Marayn and Estirdalin were around, but deep into conversation and barely paying me a second glance. Sharn gra-Muzgob, as usual, gave us the courtesy of ignoring us just as firmly as she wanted us to ignore her. To my quiet relief Ranis was not present, while Masalinie was clearly getting grumpy thanks to the long hours and just wanted us gone so she could get back to her book. All in all, it couldn't have gone better if I'd planned it.
Our luck held in Ald'ruhn as well. Rabinna and Jamie made their way to our home, while I peeled off to head to the Temple with instructions to go fetch Sosia - apparently the friend I'd made in the West Gash had an unexpected sideline in surgery. I began to worry about what we'd do if she wasn't in, especially as it had gotten quite late by now. With any luck, I decided, Rabinna would make it until morning. I'd been watching, and I hadn't seen a single sign of moon sugar consumption in her at all, so the wrappings must be holding. We'd be able to get out a bedroll for her, heat some water so she could do her ablutions more comfortably and thoroughly than by the river, make some tea-
Actually, it'd probably be best to refrain. The wrappings might be holding, but I didn't know for how long. It was probably best to avoid adding any hot liquids into the mix — or, for that matter, anything that might cause her stomach to put more effort into digesting its contents.
I wouldn't even be able to make my guest tea. What was the world coming to?
Luckily, Sosia was in and willing to make a house call. The fact that she needed a moment to go get her bag when I hinted that surgery might be called for also worked out nicely — it gave me the chance to glance at the shrine, be reminded (with a feeling rather like being hit by an anvil from a height) that there was something else I'd been meaning to do at the Temple tonight, and quickly dig into my course for a ten-drake coin to drop in the offering bowl. When the blue cleansing light washed over me, I straightened with a sigh of relief.
I didn't feel particularly different. Chances were that, given the distance and the limited time I'd been exposed, the statue's pernicious influence hadn't had a chance to take root. Still, this was one situation where it was really better to be safe than sorry.
"All right, I'm ready." Sosia had emerged wearing a leather apron and with a large bag slung over one shoulder. "Lead the way."
The two of us hurried back to the little shell-house that hadn't quite managed to become home in my head yet, although it was making definite progress in that direction. Inside, Jamie and Rabinna were sitting at the hearth — the distinct lack of mugs said that Jamie had also decided hot liquid was probably not the best thing for Rabinna at the moment, since she was usually as eager to brew a pot of tea as I was. They both looked up when Sosia and I entered.
"All right," the Breton announced. "Which of you is this patient Adryn's promised me?"
I didn't want to remember what followed. I would, in fact, pay quite a lot to blot it from my memory. I wasn't prepared for it at all, either. After all, when Jamie had said we had a mutual friend who could do surgery and I'd remembered Sosia mentioning something along those lines, I figured that the trained, professional healer would handle everything on her own. At most, I figured, I might get asked to provide, or brew, some potions — a strong anaesthetic came to mind.
I discovered my imagination had been insufficient at approximately the point in time Sosia turned to me and said, "Now, since I don't have the helping hands I'd usually get here, I'm going to need you and Jamie to act as assistants. Jamie, have your healing spells ready. Adryn, please pass me things when I ask for them. If both of you would wash your hands thoroughly, we can get started."
And so it was. Not long after, I mourned parts of my innocence I'd never even recognised as such. If only, I thought, I got faint at the sight of blood. Tolerating it had always seemed like a good thing for now, but "I am sorry, if I have to stand here and watch you cut someone open I will keel over" seemed like it would have worked quite well as an excuse.
Also, someone owed us a new set of linens, and even despite the attempts at protection I was fairly sure the poor table Sosia had ended up using would never be the same. Jamie and I would have to go shopping soon.
Eventually, however, the bloody business drew to a close. Rabinna, who had missed out on all the excitement by virtue of having been knocked unconscious by the strongest anaesthetic I could brew, was lying in bed — mine, to be exact — swathed in bandages, the cut Sosia had made carefully having been sewed up again. The mage in question was washing her hands even as Jamie tried to gather the many, many things we would likely need to throw away as we'd never get able to get all the blood out.
"That went well!" The fact that she still sounded cheerful after the last few hours should likely be taken as proof she'd been affected by Sheogorath, I thought. "Now, she should stay in bed for another two days, be careful of the wound, and eat only broth until Turdas, at which point she may have light soups, kwama eggs and bread. If she receives directed healing three times a day, I can remove the stitches in a week and she should be as good as new within two — without healing it'll take longer. I'd offer to come around, but I can only do once a day-"
"Don't worry about it," Jamie said from behind the dripping red pile straight out of a horror story. "I can take care of it."
"Excellent! Call me back if she develops a fever, complains of redness or swelling around the incision, or passes any blood in her stool or urine. But really, I don't expect any complications. And do let me know if you have any more interesting problems like this. Dunmer don't like surgery as a rule, it's rare I get to use my skills." She frowned. "Even when they have a clear need for it — there are plenty of health conditions that don't respond well to potions and magic, and in the modern era the risks are really minimal. Ach, superstition."
I didn't typically think of myself as culturally particularly Dunmer, not after having come to Morrowind. The differences in upbringing, and how they went so much deeper than the simple shade of my skin, had been made very clear. All the same, in this case I understood my people's stance far better than Sosia's. After having seen the procedure up close and personal, if someone told me that it was a choice between surgery and death I'd have to give serious contemplation to death. Rabinna was clearly made of sterner stuff.
"Thank you for help," I told Sosia. "We're happy to pay you, of course." I briefly mourned my emergency savings, which had gained significantly in recent weeks. Maybe she'd take payment in potions.
But there was something more important to say.
"We'd also... appreciate it if you didn't spread this around too much. It could draw attention I believe all of us would likely avoid."
Alas for Rabinna's great acting skills, the pretense of being a simple local mage, a free Khajiit who had certainly not recently been enslaved, fell rather flat when one was unconscious and having smuggled drug shipments extracted from one's stomach. There was no way Sosia wasn't aware of exactly where she had come from and what we were doing, and there was that minor niggling detail that freeing a slave against their owner's wishes was, in fact, illegal in Morrowind.
Thankfully, even though I'd just received a harsh reminder that just because I liked interacting with someone didn't mean that they were actually a good person, in this case it held. Sosia hadn't batted an eyelash at what we'd asked her to do, and now she was waving a hand. "Don't worry about it — either part. I don't need your money, and I won't say a word." She frowned. "Poor woman. A filthy, filthy business, the whole thing. I'm glad I could do my part to help. If you ever run into something like it again, you just let me know. Until then, it's getting late and I'd better be getting back. Until next time!"
Which left me, Jamie, and a giant load of laundry currently soaking. I looked at it, and decided that it really was too late to tackle it. Cienne had given me some interesting recipes for cleaning potions, I could brew up some tomorrow morning and see if they put a dent into the stains.
I glanced at the table and mentally corrected myself: there was still one matter to take care of. Glistening with liquids that I didn't care to think about, several balls of dark cloth sat waiting for us to do something about them.
Jamie followed my glance. "I can take care of those. It's pretty common to find contraband among bandits' belongings — Redoran has an office that confiscates and destroys them."
"All right," I said, carefully not letting my disappointment show.
Not that I was interested in the sugar as a drug, obviously. My dislike of mind-altering substances did not stop at alcohol. But if you handled it carefully to minimise the risk of addiction, there were some very useful potions that could be made with the use of moon sugar. One for dispelling all magical effects on a person or object, for example — very useful and quite expensive to make otherwise, as one of the main substitute ingredients was ground pearl. Or one for augmenting one's speed of perception and movement. And of course, most importantly of all, it could make a painkiller second to none. Rabinna herself would likely be able to use that one as soon as she woke up.
But no, they said. No, it's a restricted substance. No, for all we know you could be brewing skooma with it. Discrimination against alchemists, that was what I called it.
"Are you going to go dispose of it now?"
Jamie shook her head. "Honestly, no. We've had a very stressful day, and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm exhausted. I don't know about you, but I'm heading to bed now — everything else can wait until morning."
"You do that," I said. "I'm going to go turn in. To my bedroll, in front of the hearth. You know, since there's a Khajiit in my bed and all."
"I'm sure we all deeply appreciate your selflessness and willingness to sacrifice for others." Grinning broadly, Jamie thumped me on the shoulder, then went to seek her bed.
It was only when I was half-asleep, lulled into drowsiness by the warmth of the fire despite the hard ground, that I realised we'd forgotten to report back to Neminda.
"Perhaps I should make myself clearer," Neminda said. "When you find something of this sort of urgency, I want you back immediately. In case you are confused, perhaps due to some dialectal shift in the meaning of the word immediately, I mean as soon as you feasibly can. Not whenever you have time."
Beside me, Jamie shrank into herself. I didn't like the sight, and decided to try to a defense. "We're very sorry, but something truly urgent came up. That's why we sent a letter, because we knew we'd be delayed," I told her. I opted not to go into detail on the urgent thing in question. Sosia might have gone well enough, but we were technically in the presence of the law here. "And it's not all to the bad. After all, it's given us time to get everyone together."
I gestured around the room. A glorified storeroom just off Neminda's desk, it was currently packed. Neminda had obviously decided our news was worth calling in the entire team, as in addition to me, her and Jamie, Varvur and Athyn Sarethi were perched on crates around the place. I'd been in more comfortable places, but the faint green sparkle of a Muffle spell on the door and in the corners made it obvious why we weren't meeting at Neminda's actual desk. (I turned my head firmly away from the colour that illuminated my nightmares, focusing fiercely on Neminda to distract myself.)
"I personally don't think it so important to dwell on the details of who went where when," Sarethi said with a smile. "What's truly important is that it sounds like we've found another lead for the Sixth House. Neminda briefed me on your message, Jamie, Adryn, but I'm sure it wasn't comprehensive. If you could expand on what you found?"
Taking turns, Jamie and I explained our journey to Hla Oad, having to backtrack a little so I could explain how I'd even come to suspect Talds and Morvayn Junior in the first place. Telling the tale required some amount of rhetorical sleight of hand, seeing as we needed to omit the presence of Dralsi and Rabinna. I was glad to find that my own was up to the task, and verbally swooped in on occasion to rescue Jamie when it seemed she'd get tangled up.
"So. The Grytewake," Sarethi said when we finished, tapping his chin. "A smuggler's ship, you say."
"I talked to the clerks. It's registered under House Hlaalu," Neminda commented, flipping through a leather-bound notebook. "One Hlenil Neladren signed for it — one of Curio's."
"So... it's not a smuggler ship?"
As one, Neminda, Jamie and I turned to give Varvur pitying looks. How painful it must be, to be that naive and ignorant of the world, I thought. I could pity even Varvur, for that.
"What, you think that because House Hlaalu is involved they're clean? Have you ever met a Hlaalu?"
Neminda sent me a reproving glance. "What I'm sure Adryn meant to say is that they're still smugglers, just under the auspices of a House. Hlaalu's never shied away from getting involved in the muck."
"Possibly to our benefit, this time." Sarethi sounded thoughtful. "For all one can say about Hlaalu, I can't believe that they're interested in the destruction promised by these statues. Never to mention that I can't think them entirely blasphemous. Curio is odious but rational, and I've had some good conversations with Velanda Omani in the past. And of course Vedam Dren is a very reasonable man — almost makes up for his brother. With them on board, we may be able to take the Grytewake and its crew in for questioning." He paused. "Reducing the chance of a diplomatic incident doesn't hurt, I'll admit."
This statement was followed by all-around nodding. I could feel myself relax. That ship had worried me, and it was good to have a plan to deal with it. Doubly so to deal with it in a way that didn't actually involve me.
Then, visibly steeling herself, Neminda continued.
"Great. So we have a plan for the problem that's coming from another House. What about the one that's home-grown? Dathis Morvayn is obviously involved in something. "
There was an awkward, lengthening silence. Surprisingly, Varvur was the one who broke it.
"Could he be... like I was? Under the control of one of those statues? I mean... it'd fit, wouldn't it?"
"He definitely fits your profile," Neminda commented. "If they're targeting the close kin of Redoran noblemen, he'd certainly be a prime target. The issue with this theory being, of course, that we've now had a Temple investigator and Adryn here check that manor without finding any sign of active corruption or any statues."
The long walk through the swamps back to Balmora had given me time to think this over. "No, but I wouldn't give that much weight. Morvayn didn't let me into the family quarters, so I couldn't search his belongings. The servant gossip had it that Morvayn himself regularly searches his son's rooms, but we've got no idea how thorough that is. And as for the investigation..." I frowned. "My understanding is that they've tested that spell on known cases of Sixth House corruption. But they've only ever found people in a fairly advanced stage. The interviews happened not long after Hanarai left - if he'd only just recently encountered a statue, we really don't know whether the spell would have picked it up."
"Well-reasoned," Athyn Sarethi said. I fought the urge to perk up like a child that had just been praised, or perhaps a hound being given a bone. I had, I told myself sternly, more dignity than that. "A little tenuous in places, but you're right that we have no evidence that spell would detect the early stages. Out of curiosity, did you hear anything about him acting out of character at all? Any reports of blackouts?"
I thought back. "They did say his arguments with his father had been increasing recently, but that could just be normal teenage drama." I noticed, puzzled, how Sarethi fought back a smile. Was there something funny about what I'd said? "I honestly don't think my contacts were in a particularly good place to say. But personally, I think poisoning his bodyguard is a pretty clear sign of out-of-character behaviour."
"We'll have to question Talds when he gets back to Ald'ruhn," Neminda said briskly. "I've sent a letter offering assistance to Hla Oad, I'm still waiting on the response - but hopefully it shouldn't be longer than a few days."
"Very good. It wouldn't do to abandon one of our own." Sarethi shook his head. "It would be helpful if we knew more about how these statues operated, whether they're capable of more subtle controlling actions or just..." He glanced at Varvur and fell silent.
But Varvur was undaunted. "Just murderous rage directed at your nearest and dearest, you mean?"
I flinched.
Varvur's smile was twisted but still a smile. He-
I-
Green light enveloping me, my body would not obey-
It had been over a year and I still couldn't even think about it, couldn't bear to look at that terrible day head-on, how was it that he could smile, could joke, when his friend was-
Blood on my hands, in the corner of my eye a limp shape sprawled on the ground-
"-other blackouts," Varvur was saying. I forced myself with willpower born of grim desperation to focus on his voice. If I didn't, I'd probably go into a flashback right here, and that was most definitely a situation I should try to avoid. "No idea what I did during them. But it couldn't have been too dramatically off, or someone would have noticed something earlier." He shrugged. "Dunno if I was meeting up with any smuggler captains, but I can't say I wasn't. "
Neminda's brows drew together in thought. "In that case... the statues do seem to be the most probable explanation for what we're seeing here."
At that point I couldn't resist pointing out something the others seemed to be missing. "Besides. He's obviously in this thing with the statues to his eyebrows, so what's the alternative? That he's an actual cultist, of his own free will? From everything I've heard of the man, he'd never voluntarily do something that might break a nail."
It seemed clear enough to me. Hanarai Assutlanipal, now - she'd made sense, from everything Kundanit and Yasamsi had told me. Member of a group that occupied one of the lowest rungs of society, spat upon from all sides. Forced to work herself to the bone for a noble family, so she could see day-in day-out how much better and easier their life was while being harshly reminded of her own status at every turn. A more fertile breeding ground for resentment could hardly be found.
But Morvayn Junior? Someone born into the lap of luxury? Whatever his arguments with his father, he must be able to see just how lucky he had it. The Sixth House was, from everything I'd seen of it, a cult for those with absolutely nothing left to lose - and oh, did the son of a noble have things to lose.
Beside me, Varvur was nodding emphatically, while Jamie had her brow wrinkled in thought. Athyn Sarethi just looked contemplative.
"That is certainly a good point," he said. "I'll keep it in mind when I go to the Temple."
I blinked, thrown by what felt like a sudden change of subject. "The Temple?" Then, a split second later, it hit me. "Oh. You want what's-her-name to redo her check?"
"Adept Rothrano, you mean? Exactly." Sarethi hadn't sounded particularly chiding, but I had to fight down a blush anyway. It was hardly my fault that I had a terrible memory for names, I told myself firmly. "Or another mage trained in the area, yes. If your theory about the corruption being dormant early on was right, Adryn, it certainly wouldn't be dormant anymore. A second check, aimed at him specifically, should catch it." He frowned. "I do hope we find something."
"Because you'd rather we were able to help him?" I hazarded.
"Because of the politics." It was Neminda who corrected me, and she looked like she was fighting a headache. "Do you have any idea what a mess it'll be if we need to tell Morvayn we need to arrest his son for active participation in a cult? That's the sort of thing clan feuds are made of. We could only manage it for truly iron-clad evidence, and I'm sorry to say that your little investigation," she gestured at Jamie and me, "wouldn't count. Not unless you managed to get a trio of ranking Temple priests to witness him swearing fealty to the Sharmat, and even then Morvayn would still be fighting it for all he was worth."
"Ah. I... hadn't considered that." Not being who I was, not the kinds of circles I ran - I glanced at Sarethi and reluctantly corrected this to mostly ran - in. In my world, if someone wanted to disappear you, you were disappeared and nobody able to make a difference would make any fuss about it.
Another brick in the wall of the argument that Junior couldn't be doing this whole-heartedly. Even if it wasn't a statue, it had to be blackmail or something similar. Who'd risk losing such special treatment?
"So we'll pray to the ancestors that he," I nodded at Athyn, "gets, uh, Rothrano on board and she finds evidence of corruption. Makes sense. Do you still want me investigating Morvayn Manor?"
Neminda shook her head. "You said the last time you spoke that you were about at the limit of what we could do there, and we don't want to spook Dathis - not before our investigator gets a second look at him." A brief smile flitted across her face. I had to suppress the urge to goggle. I'd always thought it would crack in half if she tried. "You've done a lot already. For now, just... go home. Relax. I'll let you know if you can help elsewhere."
Well, that was a suggestion I didn't need to hear twice.
Notes:
"It's only some editing," I said. "I should be able to get out a bunch of chapters in quick succession," I said. Sadder but wiser, I have learned: editing is the worst. Also, chapter 31 seems to hate me, I had to throw the whole thing out and start again. I think I've cracked it now, though - fingers crossed!
Chapter 33: Chapter Thirty-One
Notes:
No, you're not hallucinating - this fic's title has changed slightly, it actually has a final chapter count, and it's now part of a series!
Basically, the length of this fic is IMO getting unwieldy, and I'd always been planning to divide the Morrowind main game into a trilogy of sorts. As my planning progressed and it became clear that each of these "books" had its own arc and its own climax, it seemed to make sense to split them into separate works on AO3 as well, and I took the plunge and made the change at the point where I knew exactly how long Book 1 was going to be. I urge all subscribers to this fic to subscribe to the series so they don't miss it when we switch to Book 2!
Some more, slightly spoilery for this chapter information in the end notes.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The investigator was duly called and, complaining loudly all the while about how she'd already done this check, taken to Morvayn Manor for a second look. From the sounds of it, she shut up about that remarkably quickly, seeing as the second look did indeed show Morvayn Junior as under the influence of serious Sixth House corruption. His room was searched, and an ash statue discovered in a small nook behind a shelf. A search of the rest of the house didn't turn up any others, and after recovering from the purification Morvayn Junior apparently said something about having been given it by Hanarai Assutlanipal just before her disappearance and hidden it during the first search. The unlucky timing had meant that the corruption hadn't been at a detectable level during the time of the first investigation.
It was, by all measures, a triumph. We'd managed to figure out what was going on and that Morvayn Junior was being suborned before he could jump to slaughtering his loved ones, a second Varvur stopped before he could even start. My role in this part of the investigation was coming to a natural end as a result, as well — no more need to face 'Milord' (who I felt ran an ever-increasing risk of doing himself an injury due to excessive nasal height every time I saw him), no more need to wander down Morvayn Manor's endless creepy corridors... and from the sounds of it, Neminda might not have anywhere else to use me yet. I certainly wouldn't mind abandoning my role as an amateur detective to free up my time for alchemy — and, best of all, avoid the risk of needing to work in any sort of close conjunction with Varvur.
Alas for me, I didn't have much time to bask in my success, because it was was sadly rapidly overshadowed by other, more pressing concerns. Only days after coming back from Hla Oad, I fell ill. There were some panicked moments where we thought it might be a Blight illness, featuring such intriguing questions as how we were supposed to handle the escaped slave currently recuperating in our home if I was supposed to isolate there, but in the end it turned out to be just a bad case of greenspore. Or, more accurately, "just" greenspore. I certainly didn't think there was anything just about it when the fever spiked.
Thankfully, Sosia's prediction about recovery time had proven true, because at this point Rabinna was up and walking again. It was, in fact, a fairly straightforward changeover of one bedbound invalid to another, the bed barely left unoccupied in between. I hoped this wasn't going to become a theme.
Rabinna herself stayed for a little while after. I got the impression that she felt she needed to repay the nursing I'd done while she was still recovering. Given that Jamie had gotten pulled onto some other House Redoran duty — some idiotic thing involving a Hlaalu braggart in Balmora who for some inexplicable reason couldn't be just left to mouth off in peace — it worked out fairly well. I didn't want to have to try to totter to the kitchen and back on my own, and most of my friends had already made clear they were too busy or (in Dralsi's case) refused to do nursemaiding as a matter of principle. With Rabinna's presence, I could curl up in bed and be served frightfully bitter tea (willow anther and chokeweed, two ingredients that somehow managed to play off each other to become exponentially more acidic than each one was individually - only knowing the alchemical properties involved let me tolerate it) along with a creamy soup that had to have trama root in it somewhere from the aftertaste.
"My mother used to make a special soup when we were ill," Rabinna told me, eyes very far away. "It is not possible to find many of the ingredients here, of course, but Ajira had some ideas for substitutes."
"Thank you," I rasped out, trying to put all the sincerity I could into a voice that didn't particularly want to support that. I felt genuinely bad about making Rabinna fetch and carry for me, both considering her recent injury and considering her recent... well, I supposed enslavement could be seen as an injury as well, if on a more spiritual level. This had to be bringing up bad memories of being forced into servitude, and I tried to make sure to be as obviously appreciative as I could.
Which was sadly not always very much, especially during times when my fever spiked and the hallucinations set in. I didn't remember those times at all, but I was told later that I hadn't recognised anyone, often spoken gibberish while staring through the walls, and at one point kept insisting in a panic that I couldn't breathe and that "they" had poisoned me, despite the fact that the rapidly-fetched Sosia found absolutely no breathing issues with her diagnostic spells. The only mercy was that I apparently never considered anyone around me part of the they, but back in my right mind I was still deeply embarrassed to have caused Rabinna such trouble.
Then, a few days later — after Jamie had returned from Balmora looking obnoxiously smug and my fever had broken — Rabinna made her farewells.
"I thank you for all your help," she said with a slight bow. I hadn't heard her use the typical Khajiiti third person since she woke up from the surgery. I had no idea what that signified, but since it seemed to be tied in with her regaining confidence and poise I had to believe it was a good sign. "And for holding to hope when I had lost it. You will always have a friend in me, but it is time for me to move on."
"Do you need any help finding somewhere to go?" Jamie asked. "I'd offer to help you find transport back to the mainland, and connections for getting back to Elsweyr, but that's obviously a little difficult right now."
Dralsi would probably be able to get her transport anyway. I contemplated mentioning this. Jamie might get upset, given the clear allusion to our criminal connections. Normally I'd be able to deal with that, but right now I was propped into a chair half-smothered in cushions feeling as though a giant had stepped on me. I'd discovered that people had far too many bones in their bodies, all sorts of little fiddly ones I'd never contemplated before, because I could feel each and every one of them ache. I did not, in short, feel up to an argument.
"Thank you, but there is no need," Rabinna said. "R- I have a plan. Ajira was very helpful." She smiled. Something about the expression sent chills down my spine. "I enjoyed pretending to be Jo'binna very much. It is time for me to learn to be her in truth, I think."
And on that mildly cryptic note, she was gone.
"All right," Jamie said, "let's get you back to bed."
Jamie, I discovered with woe, was not one of nature's nurses, and I wasn't sure which of the two of us was more relieved when I was finally better enough to be able to take care of myself around the end of the week — still not well, but no longer at risk of hallucinating and capable of wandering over to the kitchen to warm up a bowl of stew or set the kettle boiling for another pot of the brew that was, sadly, as effective as it tasted vile. From there on my improvement was rapid, and a week later I felt almost as good as new.
Luckily so, because that meant I'd recovered in time for my birthday. I'd been worried I'd need to start into my twenties from a sickbed, which did not seem like an auspicious omen, but by the time it rolled around I was still a little quick to get tired but otherwise on the mend — and well enough to plan something of a celebration.
As every year, I got older on the first Loredas in Sun's Dawn.
"I'm pretty sure birthdays aren't meant to work that way," Jamie said.
I turned up my nose at her. "That's because your perspective is too limited. Why allow yourself to be bound by convention, subject to the tyranny of a specific day of the month? I like having a birthday on Loredas, so I decided I'd do it every year."
"Really sure they're not meant to work that way."
I sighed and, reluctantly, became serious. I wouldn't do this for just anyone and hoped Jamie appreciated how lucky she was. "Honestly? I don't actually know when I was born. It must have been in Morning Star because of my birth-sign, but what day?" I held my hands up helplessly. "Only the stars know. So I decided I might as well have some fun with it, you know?"
"That's funny." Jamie frowned. "It's the same for me — born in Morning Star but not sure what day. I just picked one, actually. The twenty-second." The look in her eyes was definitely jealousy because she hadn't thought of my idea, I decided.
It turned out Jamie wasn't the only one. Dralsi, too, admitted to being Lover-born but not knowing the exact date when I asked (she apparently didn't celebrate at all). The coincidence was far too strange. I'd almost suspect we'd stumbled across part of the selection criteria to be an involuntary Blades Agent, but I couldn't see how on Nirn it had any bearing on anything. No, this had to be chance. Maybe, I thought speculatively, it was that I'd befriended too many other orphans. Among the likes of us, knowing the precise day one was born was probably the exception rather than the rule. And rampant discrimination against Lover-born in the form of tasteless jokes obviously meant we had to stick together.
In any case, by the time the day rolled around, the air crisp and the grey sky threatening another ashfall, I was ready and able to bustle around the place and put up some hangings and coloured lights. I'd missed this, I realised as I hung a paper lantern decorated with red and blue swirls above the entrance. I got the impression Saturnalia wasn't particularly celebrated here in Morrowind, or at least it had come and gone with no fanfare before I even realised it was approaching. New Year had seen a more festive atmosphere, but we'd been too busy with the move to celebrate, never to mention that nobody had ever explained what form the native Morrowind celebrations took. But birthdays were always a good excuse to eat good food and meet up with friends.
The friends in question dropped in and out over the course of the day, generally bringing food themselves — Ajira bringing saltrice balls wrapped in pickled kresh leaves which were apparently an Ascadian Isles specialty, Tanar a tray of roasted nix-hound meatballs, Estirdalin and Marayn Dren collaborating on ash yam slices with a fire-petal dip, Sosia an actual Breton-style fruit cake (where on earth she'd gotten the ingredients from, I had no idea), and more. The gift-giving tradition common in High Rock and Skyrim didn't seem to have made it all the way to Morrowind; it was only Jamie who gave me a gift (a lightweight steel ingredient knife she must have gone to the expensive blacksmith under Skar to get). I didn't mind, I decided. I preferred their company to their money, it was clear quite a few people had gone to a real effort given the limited produce selection these days, and-
And maybe it was easier, to celebrate differently from how we'd done it in Skyrim. Where Ingerte would do the decorations and Charon would get piles of food from the street-stalls and they'd be competing over who got the best gift for me. I was doing my best to move forward despite everything. I didn't think I'd be able to surrounded by that many ghosts.
Later in the evening, most of the people who'd stopped by had gone home — or, in the case of Sosia, back to the Temple for work. Jamie and I were presiding over a pile of leftovers, me very happy we'd managed to bargain a frost-enchanted cupboard off one of the local enchanters so that we'd be able to keep them for a few more days without spoilage.
"What is this?" Dralsi asked, poking at a fried brown round cake. She'd only shown up an hour or so ago, after the biggest part of the rush had died down.
"Makouda," Jamie and I said in unison, then traded startled glances. I gestured at her to continue. "It's a Hammerfell thing - my mother used to make them. It's potato, meant to be dipped in the sauce next to it. Athyn brought them."
To my absolute horror, of course. How had he gotten here? Who'd betrayed me enough to let him know? He thankfully hadn't stayed particularly long, but had left several platters of unfairly delicious food. Very authentic as well, I thought, over the years having managed some triangulation of what Hammerfell food should be like based on the various attempts at it I was served in Skyrim and the volume and direction of Charon's complaints each time.
He would've been so delighted if he'd seen it, I thought wistfully...
Wistfully, but for once the grief stayed at bay and my eyes remained dry. It had been a long time since I'd been able to think about Charon without the threat of tears.
Dralsi was more interested in the harissa dipping sauce. "Typical nobleman," she snorted. "How did he even get these ingredients. At all! And then you remember there's a quarantine on!"
Jamie, by now very loyal to her new liege, opened her mouth as if to defend him. I shot her a glare from the corner of my eye. No fighting. It's my birthday. I tried to add if you really want to it can be your present to yourself on your birthday via expressive eyebrow waggle, but didn't think it got through. I really didn't have the fine facial-muscular control to pull off some of those movements, much to my annoyance.
"So, Adryn," she said instead, helping herself to a slice of Sosia's cake, "any plans now that you're mobile again?"
"Not to get sick another time, first and foremost," I groaned. "That was awful." Jamie laughed.
I considered saying something about the Sixth House investigation, but glanced at the low padded bench Jamie had brought back not so long ago and thought better of it. Said bench was currently occupied by Llarara, and although judging by her soft snores she was really not paying attention to anything we were saying, you couldn't be too careful.
Besides, I was getting regular updates on that front from Jamie and from the sounds of it, they hadn't turned up anything since Morvayn Junior had been caught. Cosades had also been very quiet. Wonder of wonders — my hands weren't quite steady enough yet, but would I actually be able to spend my time on alchemy again soon?
The silence was lengthening, Jamie looking at me quizzically. I opened my mouth to fob her off with something inconsequential and accidentally had the truth come out.
"I've been thinking of doing a trip to Gnisis," I said.
"Gnisis? Why Gnisis?" Jamie wrinkled her nose. "I was there in my first days on the island. It wasn't exactly very... welcoming."
Usually my tongue was quick, dancing its way in and straight out of trouble. Where was that quickness now, I mourned. Where was the easy confabulation of a harmless story that would perfectly explain why I was interested in Gnisis.
"Um. I."
"This has something to do with Ervesa, doesn't it," Dralsi said flatly.
"It does not!" I yelped, even as Jamie let out a low ohhhhh in the background. "It's- coincidence. Complete coincidence. I was reminded that there are two pilgrimages there I could do, that's all."
"And wanting to meet Ervesa as someone who's a Temple member and completed all the pilgrimages is definitely not part of your logic here. I see, I see." Jamie stroked her chin, like the parody of some ancient sage dispensing great wisdom. "Nor is the fact that you got that letter from her last week that said her stint at Ghostgate was finishing and she'd be in Ald'ruhn middle of the month."
"This is outrageous slander and I don't have to listen to it. Also, since when do you read my mail?"
"...you told me, Adryn. You told everyone in a hundred yard radius individually. You were very enthusiastic about it."
I blamed the fever.
"Is it so entirely unbelievable," I asked the ceiling, "that I'd be interested in finishing the pilgrimages in order to try to find my family? Figure out where I came from?"
It was, I thought, eminently plausible. Morrowind natives usually found it unbelievable that I wouldn't be interested. It wasn't entirely true, mind you — my failure at the Puzzle Canal still smarted and I didn't currently have any plans to give it a second shot. Ervesa did, in fact, play strongly into my plans for Gnisis. But I didn't have to admit that fact.
"Really now," Jamie said, sounding absolutely and unfairly skeptical. This had to be discrimination of some sort. Cruel and unusual punishment.
"I don't suppose you've considered, oh, doing something about this crush you have?" And now Dralsi was using the c-word. Insult to injury. I should complain to the guard. "Like... oh, what's this strange concept again... tip of my tongue... I know! Telling her."
"I don't know either of you," I told them flatly. "And although for friends I would of course hold back and not finish off the last of the nix-hound meatballs, given that there are only strangers here-"
"Now hold on a moment-"
Thankfully, this threat moved the conversation on.
The next day, I decided I felt well enough to make the trip. The day dawned crisp and clear, the pallid golden sun in the wintry blue sky shining down on me where I was waiting at the silt strider platform. The idea of relying on one of those again, after my experience in Maar Gan, left me a little uneasy, but with no guild in Gnisis it was this or walking. And I had been reassured by multiple people that what had happened in Maar Gan had really been exceptional, and that it was extremely rare for ash storms to take down the strider network for longer than a day.
And if worst came to worst, there was always Hlormaren.
There weren't many people going to Gnisis this time of the day. In fact, there weren't any other people. The current strider baggage consisted of me, the caravaneer, and a bunch of boxes. People would no doubt blame it on the quarantine somehow, but in all honesty I suspected the problem lay more with the temperature. To whit: the fact that strider journeys, at this time of year, meant sitting outside exposed to the cold air for hours on end. It wasn't even possible to make a fire to warm oneself, not without sending the strider on a rampage.
"She's sensitive to that kind of thing, the old girl," the caravaneer said. "And can you blame her? How would you like it if someone lit a fire on your head?"
I was forced to admit this sounded like an unpleasant experience, did however wonder whether it might still be preferable to the frostbite that threatened.
"Don't exaggerate," the caravaneer scolded. "I take care of my passengers. Look at the blankets there, eh? I got them special from an enchanter all the way from Godsreach in Mournhold, back when that sort of thing was possible. Just tuck yourself in and you'll be cozy as anything."
If the man had paid top coin for the blankets, he'd definitely been ripped off, but they were a bit warmer than expected and worked well enough when layered. Alas, they did nothing for my ears. I tugged my headscarf a little tighter and found myself briefly desperately jealous of humans, who must have a much easier time keeping those particular appendages from suffering frostbite. Pointed ears had distinct downsides in winter.
The enchantment idea wasn't a bad one, really. Maybe I could get Tanar to have a look at my scarf?
At least the lack of other passengers meant I could use all the blankets I wanted-
"Eh, would you look at that! I told you this route isn't as deserted as it looks." I looked from my seat over to the platform, where a figure had just reached the top of the stairs huffing and puffing.
A very familiar figure.
"Hello the strider! I hope I'm not too late?"
The caravaneer looked markedly less friendly upon being spoken to in Tamrielic. "You just made it. Five more minutes and we'd have gone. You for Gnisis? It's eleven drakes."
For once, I thought, the Dunmeris speaker discount was working in my favour. I'd only paid eight.
Jamie extracted the required amount from her pouch, then joined me on the bench.
"What are you doing here?" I asked after the caravaneer had turned away to busy himself at the front of the strider, where part of the shell had been cut away to allow for steering (I ignored any strange squelching sounds coming from that direction with an effort of will). "You didn't mention anything about wanting to come along."
"I hadn't been planning on it, but Neminda had a task come up. A transport job… apparently the usual courier suddenly fell ill, and it's urgent."
I had no idea who the 'usual courier' was — they could have been man or woman, Dunmer or Argonian, on the verge of retirement or barely out of their teens. Nevertheless, I was gripped by a sudden wave of empathy for the unknown soul. After the last few weeks, I'd decided I wouldn't wish greenspore on my worst enemy.
"Well, I won't complain about the company."
I considered Jamie for a moment. Our time living together had brought us closer than before, to the point where — if it hadn't been for Ajira — I might even have termed her my best friend on the island. Not only that, but she'd been generous with her time and skills ever since I'd met her, had helped me freely.
In short, I would have to be a truly selfish person indeed to let her freeze to death on the way to Gnisis.
"…and I guess you can have some of the blankets."
I'd never been to Gnisis before, but I had been to Khuul a little to the north coming back from my involuntary adventures in Telvanni lands. The landscape around Gnisis was similar to what I'd seen on striderback then, rocky hills with sparse, wind-swept trees. The air, I thought, was decidedly colder than it was this time of year in Balmora, and more of the plants seemed to have gone dormant for winter.
Gnisis itself lay on an ocean inlet, a tiny harbour giving it prominence. From afar it looked much like any Redoran town, with small crab-shell houses clustered around the larger Velothi structure of the Temple. There was another Velothi dome further in the hills, although the caravaneer — who'd been doing his best impression of a tour guide, explaining the history of Gnisis as both a pilgrimage site and a mining town — got very quiet when I asked him about it. Probably some local superstition, I decided.
There was one eyesore in the form of an Imperial fort squatting on a nearby hill. Jamie flinched a little when she saw it.
"It... might... make sense for me to try to avoid any Legionnaires," she squeezed out. "Just in case they. Um. Remember me."
Oh, of course. Jamie's short and explosive career with the Imperial Legion. I'd almost forgotten about it — and I'd definitely forgotten it was in Gnisis.
"You think they would? It was, what, months ago, and you said you stormed out ten minutes after you came in?"
Jamie winced harder. "I was very... ah... emphatic about my opinions. Also loud. It's... not unlikely."
The fact that I hadn't been a fly on the wall for that meeting showed that the universe was an actively malicious place, I decided.
"Eh, they don't come into town much during the day," the caravaneer said, thawing visibly towards Jamie. It looked like this evidence that she was on the Legion's bad side was making him reconsider the Tamrielic speakers' tax. "And at night you just have to avoid the tradehouse, since that's where they go to drink." He shook his head. "All right, we're approaching our final destination. Please clear the platform quickly so we can get to unloading. And don't steal any of my blankets!"
I heroically resisted the temptation.
The first stop Jamie and I made was the tradehouse, less because of any sort of tactical consideration and more because, enchanted blankets notwithstanding, we were both absolutely freezing. This time of day there was almost nobody in there — certainly none of the Legion members she was so worried about. The Breton behind the bar only raised an eyebrow when we blew in the doorway, but the Dunmer woman bustling around with a broom and a wet cloth exclaimed at the sight of us. In no time at all she had us ensconced in front of a hearth clutching mugs of (what else) hackle-lo tea, slowly thawing.
"And at this time of year, too! You should come when it's summer, like the pilgrims do!" She shook her head. "All the outsiders here lately, what is the world coming to..."
I liked to pretend I was above gossip, but moments like this made it hard. "Outsiders?" I asked casually.
But the woman was distracted by something else. "Say... you look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere?"
Jamie took a very nonchalant sip of tea, one which coincidentally positioned the mug so it shadowed her face. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."
"No, no, it's from somewhere... I never forget a face, you know..." She snapped her fingers. "Ah, I remember! You were the one who helped dear Torosi, back in the summer! You know, she'd be so happy to see you again so she can thank you properly-"
Jamie cringed. "I, um, it was what everyone would have done?"
"Oh, I'm sure it wasn't," I chirped, seeing the opportunity for some true, well-earned revenge. "The work of an actual hero, the likes of which are rarely seen in these days."
"Exactly," the woman said with a sharp nod. Her broom had been abandoned against the wall - it seemed gossip was far more appealing than cleaning. "Far too rare anyone stands up to Darius' bully-boys when they're throwing their weight around." A shadow flitted across her face.
Jamie saw it too. She sat up from her slouch, putting the tea on the table. "Have they been giving you more problems? Ah- I'm a member of Redoran now, you know. Under Athyn Sarethi, not Hlaren Ramoran, but if there are any issues I can at least take them back to Redoran leadership in Ald'ruhn." She coughed. "I work closely with Kinsman Neminda, as well."
That made the woman bloom. She, we were informed at length, approved of Redoran membership. Just the thing for a fine young outlander who wanted to make something of herself in this company, suitable for a hero like the one who'd stood up to the local Legion. We then got treated to a run-down of local gossip - and it was true that Jamie's rescuee wasn't the only one who'd been pushed around. I frowned to hear that. Little though I liked the Legion, I wasn't used to them being outright corrupt. Maybe it was due to this being such a remote place. I had a disquieting thought, though, that it might be due to it being Morrowind, rather than Skyrim or High Rock.
Jamie listened furiously, occasionally asking the woman to repeat herself. At one point, she pulled out a piece of parchment, quill, and tiny corked inkwell (see there, I wasn't the only one overly prepared!) and began taking notes.
"Thank you very much for telling me. I'll take this to Neminda," she said once the stream of information had slowed. "It's all extremely concerning."
"It is, isn't it? Not enough they cut us off from the mainland, they have to act like bullies on top of it." The woman shook her head. "I was so optimistic when they started building the fort here, you know. New business for the tradehouse and more money for the town, I figured, especially in winter where there's not many pilgrims. And it has brought that in. The soldiers like to come drink in their off-hours, and while they were still building the officer's quarters General Darius and his second were actually renting rooms here. And with the quarantine, and no more pilgrims from the mainland... it's been invaluable. But after what happened with poor Torosi, I'm not sure it's worth it." Suddenly, she grinned. "Well, if this goes on long enough, one of them may get it into their heads to try to push around Demnevanni. I'd pay to see that."
On inquiring, we learned that Gnisis was, in fact, entirely unique as a town: in addition to the already unusual mix of egg-mine, common pilgrimage destination and Imperial fort, it boasted an actual Telvanni wizard. One who, from the sounds of it, had opted to physically remove himself from Telvanni power-plays that got in the way of his research — I'd gotten the impression this wasn't that uncommon for Telvanni, although moving to Redoran lands was certainly an unusual extreme. But still very, definitely, Telvanni, having occupied the other Velothi dome we'd seen from the strider for many years now.
On due consideration, it was probably pretty unlikely this Telvanni had anything to do with the one Tenyeminwe had run afoul of in Sadrith Mora, nor with Divayth Fyr (who wasn't angry at me anyway, I reminded myself), not if he'd taken himself out of Telvanni affairs this emphatically. For some reason, this did not feel like a very convincing line of argument.
"Ah… he's not, um, sociable, is he? Doesn't get a lot of visits from other Telvanni?"
The woman waggled her hand in a so-so gesture. "I don't think he's involved in the House, if that's what you mean. But we do sometimes get people in town to visit him. There was one just the other week, in fact. Dunmer man in robes, just walked right into Arvs-Drelen."
That, unfortunately, didn't narrow it down much. "I don't suppose there was anything particularly noteworthy about him?" Seeing the innkeeper's eyes narrow in suspicion, I realised I had to explain my curiosity. "There, um. Might be some Telvanni who might have a reason to be, ah, let's call it annoyed with me-"
"She rescued several Redoran who'd been held prisoner in Telvanni lands," Jamie interrupted, apparently deciding to pay me back in kind.
"It could have happened to anyone!"
"Ah, I didn't know I had two young Redoran here — you should have said!" And while I was sputtering trying to explain that first of all, no, and second of all, no, the woman went on. "As for the man… I'm not even sure he was Telvanni, to tell the truth. Don't get me wrong, some of Demnevanni's visitors obviously are, but him? Plain robes, Stonefalls accent if ever I've heard one, not from Azura's Coast or the Telvanni Isles at all. Nothing particularly noteworthy about his appearance, but his voice! He stopped here on the way back and I almost wanted to force-feed him healing potions. Sounded like he'd just recovered from rattles, and then someone throttled him."
That description was very vivid. Vivid, and instantly recognisable.
Tiram Gadar had gone to visit a Telvanni mage.
I was silent for a long moment, letting that settle in my mind. Silent for long enough that Jamie, with no regrettable Telvanni entanglements to be concerned about, swung back to the topic she was interested in.
"So, your concerns about the Legion… have you brought them to Redoran leadership before?"
The woman drew herself up. "Course I have! Hetman's brought it up to House Father Ramoran. Not much has happened, though. Not sure if it's a matter of political support or what. Or if we're not a priority." She frowned.
"It'd surprise me to hear that, I've always heard Ramoran was a very conscientious lord. Ah... if it's a matter of support, would you mind if I also take this directly to Athyn Sarethi? It's not his land, but I know it'd be of concern to him and he'd likely be willing to support any movement to address it."
The woman indicated that this would be not just permitted but in fact welcome.
"I'd like to think any Redoran would object," Jamie said. "Speaking of — are there any other members of the House who are in Gnisis regularly? Ones who might be aware of the problems? It always helps to have multiple sources for this sort of thing."
"Other Redoran?" The woman frowned in thought. "Well, Sedam Omalen from the Ald Velothi watchtower stops by the market every other week or so, and always likes to catch up on the gossip. You could try him. Oh, and there's the Morvayn boy… but he's just a kid, don't think he's noticed. And a little self-absorbed — he'll probably grow out of it, but right now it's clear his head is full with his own problems. But his malavis might be able to help you. Good customer, but a hot temper, that one! Got into a brawl with a Legionnaire once and everything."
Tiram Gadar and Morvayn Junior with Nilos Talds? Apparently I'd been missing out and Gnisis was the place to be this time of year.
Beside me, Jamie was still as a statue.
"Dathis Morvayn? He's been here before?" Jamie sounded just as cautiously probing as I'd been, asking about Telvanni.
A bit of conversation revealed that Morvayn Junior had indeed been coming here semi-regularly. For religious reasons, apparently, revisiting both of the Seven Graces pilgrimages of Gnisis. In recent weeks, the frequency had increased. No wonder — a narrow escape from that statue would definitely make religion more appealing. I could attest to that myself.
Jamie followed all this with an unblinking gaze and tension coiled in her muscles, reminding me almost of a snake who'd seen a rat. Frustratingly enough, I couldn't quite put together why. Morvayn Junior had been cleansed, after all, and wasn't a suspect anymore. Maybe she thought he might have been doing something here under the statue's influence? But from the sounds of it he'd been coming here even before Hanarai had given the thing to him…
Well, if it was anything noteworthy she'd tell me, I decided. In the meantime, I'd finished my tea, could feel my toes again, and should probably be getting on with the pilgrimages while the sun was high.
Never to mention that this conversation had given me something else to think about. Someone, in fact, in the form of a certain Mages' Guild member.
I made my farewells, agreeing to meet Jamie at the strider station at sunset so we could take it back together, then strode out into Gnisis still turning over the matter of Tiram Gadar in my mind.
Up until now, I'd given him the benefit of the doubt. Faked credentials, lying about his past, all of that could have another explanation as well. But surely someone who'd finagled his way into a higher Mages' Guild rank than his true backstory would have provided him would be keeping his head down.
Certainly, I thought as I gave the entrance of the Velothi dome a long look, not wandering up to Gnisis for chats with reclusive Telvanni. Especially considering I highly doubted he'd been on guild business. I knew from guild gossip just how tolerant Trebonius wasn't of Telvanni. Any task he came up with would've left either the Telvanni in question (whatever his name had been) or Gadar dead.
At this point, an innocent explanation was looking less and less likely. I might, just, have enough to take to Ranis.
Unless it really had been a Mages' Guild task? Maybe given by another guild-master, someone trying to recruit the man, or maybe Gadar had decided to find a non-violent solution to what he'd been asked to do all on his lonesome. It wasn't like I didn't have experience with both of those things.
This whole thing would be so much easier if I could trust Ranis Athrys as far as I could throw her.
Well, I didn't have to make up my mind on the matter right now, I decided. After all, neither Gadar nor Ranis Athrys were here at the moment, and I still had business to attend to in Gnisis. Business I'd best be getting on with, too, seeing as I had no intention of missing the strider back.
The Temple of Gnisis was in the center of town. It was built in the style that was at this point familiar - squat stone walls bearing the large dome that shimmered copper in the sun, thick glass windows like a ship's portholes offering protection from inclement weather while still letting in some daylight, lower walls surrounding a small courtyard in front... really, on first glance I wasn't sure I could have told it apart from the Temple in Ald'ruhn. The main difference were the people; apparently the Temple courtyard doubled as Gnisis' main market square, and there was a riot of colour and noise coming from the different market stalls. I spotted blacksmith's and carpenter's wares, a local farmers whose stall was heaped with everything you could possibly make from a guar, another stall that sold nothing but kwama eggs, a potter with some quite eye-catching glazed urns...
No alchemist or apothecary, though, and so I had little trouble ignoring the hawkers' cries and making my way inside.
Indoors, the differences to the Ald'ruhn Temple began to become apparent. There was the central ash-pit, yes, the shrines to the saints as well as a small door leading to the dormitories, also yes, but someone had put signs up directing me to a ramp that led to a second level — one which either didn't exist or wasn't open to the public in the Ald'ruhn temple. There, just below the dome, a large, ornately engraved pillar had pride of place. A small offering bowl before it as well as the inscription Justice made it clear that this was the pilgrimage goal.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a priestess watching me as I reached into my satchel to take it a potion. To my great vindication, she didn't object as I poured it into the shrine offering bowl. Take that, Vivec priestess at that one shrine in Vivec. Other shrine wardens saw nothing at all wrong with me using home-brewed potions-
-wait, I was supposed to be praying.
Hastily, I bowed my head in front of the shrine and attempted to think appropriately humble and pious thoughts. For a moment, I thought it hadn't worked; the liquid in the offering bowl had sparked blue and vanished, but up until now the shrines had provided some blessing after I'd completed the pilgrimage, and I still felt the same as before.
Then I heard the rumble of moving stone.
The pillar cracked open, revealing an alcove that had been carved into it. In it was a mask. It was grey, as though made of pressed ash. It depicted a mer wearing a sorrowful expression, with thin lips and arched brows and a nose with a bump in the middle, giving the impression it had been broken long ago and not set right at the time.
I knew him.
The eyes were empty holes, nothing but darkness behind them, but in my mind's eye I could see the blue they should be, the golden of the skin hidden by the ash, the mouth moving to form words-
"-know this is hard for you, since you're friends." Vivec's voice was low, soothing, everything in his demeanour spoke of empathy for my sorrow. Nothing, in short, of his true feelings showed. He probably couldn't help it — not when I knew very well that this was the way he'd gone from a street child to Councilor's assistant in mere decades — but I resented it all the same. I felt like I was being managed, and I'd never taken kindly to that.
Vivec continued in the face of my silence. "But the Dwemer must be stopped! Azura herself has bid us so. You've tried talking to Dumac and told us yourself it went nowhere. It pains me deeply to say it, but it may be time to consider other means."
Other means. He didn't even have the decency to spell out clearly what he was suggesting.
An end to the peace we'd given so much for, the one where Dumac and I had fought and bled time and again to keep it from crumbling after we'd driven out the Nords. Centuries of the Dwemer and Chimer living alongside each other in apparent harmony. Centuries where I'd been a frequent guest at their tables and they at mine, where I'd called a Dwemer a friend as close as a brother. After all this time, Vivec wanted me to meet him with an army at my back.
I loved Vivec dearly, had watched his meteoric rise with pride. But in this moment, I hated him as well. Hated him for daring to suggest such a thing.
Just as I hated myself for knowing I was going to agree.
I opened my mouth-
"-think she's coming round. Hello? Pilgrim, can you hear me?"
My eyes were closed.
Why were they closed? Hadn't I just been-
The bolt of pain that went through my head was, unfortunately, familiar. Thankfully, it only lasted a moment before dying down to a dull throb. I cracked my eyes open cautiously to be greeted with a plain ceiling braced by wooden beams and two faces — a man and a woman, both Dunmer — gazing down at me with worry.
"Ugh," was my first word after regaining consciousness. "What happened?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out." The woman looked thoughtful. "We've seen people with bad reactions to the shrine's blessing before — it is a quite strong purification, in a way that can be a shock to the system — but someone collapsing on the spot is still a new one on me. Zanmulk?"
The man — Zanmulk? — shook his head. "Didn't see anything that'd explain this, but my spell doesn't catch everything. How are you feeling, pilgrim? Any health conditions you'd like to share that might explain this?"
"Uh. I have a headache, but it's fading. And… well, I did have greenspore the other week, but I thought I'd recovered."
A little shakiness here and there did not, in my mind, add up to suddenly losing consciousness. And it didn't explain the involvement of my new, increasingly ominous headaches.
But the man's expression cleared up. "Greenspore! No doubt that'll explain it- no, no, let me help you-" That last part came as I decided that I'd had enough of holding a conversation at this angle and tried to sit up.
Upright, with the last of my headache fading away, I could take stock of my present surroundings a little better. I was lying on a cot in a dimly-lit room that smelled so strongly of marshmerrow, wickwheat and willow anther that I could almost feel the healing magic taking root by sheer proximity. The woman was a Dunmer of indeterminate age, the most noticeable thing about her the finely-woven robes elaborately embroidered with the symbol of Almsivi. The man was also Dunmer, wrinkled, grey-haired and clothed far more plainly, but a wooden amulet on his chest also bore Almsivi's symbol.
Setting my keen mind and renowned insight on the matter, I came to the conclusion that after I'd inexplicably collapsed at the shrine, the local priests had rushed to my aid and brought me to one of the Temple's back rooms. Probably a healer's office, judging by the smell.
Warmth filled my cheeks at the thought of what a spectacle that must have been. "Um. I'm really sorry about this."
"Nonsense, dear, it's not as if you did it on purpose. The most important thing is that you're well," the woman admonished me. "I'm afraid I do have to leave to handle the evening offerings sooner rather than later, though… Zanmulk, can you take it from here?"
Zin- Zam- Z-Something turned out to be the local healer (in retrospect, the bulging pouches and vial-holders at his belt should probably have warned me) and was very true to his profession in not letting me depart quite so easily. All protestations that I was feeling much better now, really, were in vain, as he insisted on doing a full check-up.
"Hmm... you really do seem to be mostly recovered," was the final verdict after a subjective eternity of being poked, prodded, and having magicka dance over me (a feeling I was warier of now than I'd used to be, even if at least the spell wasn't green). "I can see some traces of lingering exhaustion, but nothing that should have hit you so badly. Still, just to be on the safe side, I'd like you to stay for a little while for me to monitor you. We can chat over tea."
Much though this didn't fit into my plans for the day, some of my upbringing in the orphanage had stuck. The sisters of Kynareth would have had my hide if I'd talked back to a healer.
Besides, I thought as the unmistakeable aroma of hackle-lo reached my nose, I was thirsty.
It quickly became apparent that Z-Something had more reasons than just a healer's naturally overbearing nature for his hospitality. The other reason being, of course, nosiness. He managed to lull me into a sense of security with his grandfatherly air (or at least what I took for one, not having first-hand experience with the species myself) and before I knew it, he'd winkled out an explanation of who I was and what brought me to Gnisis.
"Please be patient with this old man," was his defense when I gave him a narrow-eyed glare. "I do so love speaking with the pilgrims who come here and listening to their stories. Such fascinating lives, some of you have!"
At least it wasn't just me who'd been served hackle-lo with a side of subtle interrogation.
But that gave me the opportunity to change the subject away from my least favourite (me), which I immediately seized.
"Oh? Do you have any examples?"
Z-Something, it turned out, had many. He'd been a priest in Gnisis since before the Empire showed up on these shores, and had worked his natural charisma to its best effect over the centuries. I got the impression he'd had literally everyone in town as his guest over hackle-lo at this point - at least, he professed to have shared tea with not just the Legion commander and local Redoran representative, but even the resident Telvanni.
"Decent sort, that Baladas," was his comment. "Does his grandfather proud, no doubt. Revus was always one of the best of them."
...the local Telvanni and his relatives. I didn't know why I was surprised anymore.
But it wasn't just locals. Being kidnapped for hackle-lo was, it seemed, a rite of passage that was at this point as much a part of the Shrine of Justice pilgrimage as seeing the- as the actual offering at the plinth. To the point where Z-Something had long-standing acquaintances, even friends, among those who repeated the pilgrimages regularly.
One of the names in that list was quite familiar.
"Ah, young Dathis Morvayn. He's been a regular guest of mine for... years, it must be at this point. Started coming when he was barely old enough to travel on his own. I think he liked the opportunity to unburden himself."
I frowned. I could imagine that Morvayn Junior might need that now, after his close call, but back then? What burdens could the spoiled son of a noble possibly have?
But when I gave voice to that thought, Z-Something sent me a glance reproving enough I wilted under it. "Really? His mother dies, his father marries someone barely older than he is, his new step-mother gives birth to a new half-brother his father dotes on? At the same time he as the eldest has reached the age where his ideas about his future and his father's begin to differ, with all the tensions and arguments that entails? You do not see how such a situation could weigh on a sensitive soul? Do not make the mistake of thinking money and status solve all problems, young one. Often as not, they bring more grief than they prevent."
Chastened, I subsided.
"So yes, even a noble's son needs a listening ear and some kind words sometimes. I like to think I did my part — in the last half-year or so he has seemed far more at peace with his life than before." A smile spread across that wrinkled face. "I knew it was only a matter of time. A good boy, he is at heart, with a bright mind as well. Rarely have I met anyone so interested in local history. Why, we once spent hours talking about..."
All right. The hackle-lo had been finished, precious daylight was slipping away, both my own estimation of my strength and Z-Something's spells said I was fully recovered from my strange fit earlier, and unlike Morvayn Junior I was not deeply interested in local history and would prefer not to be subjected to what was turning into a monologue about comparative architecture between Gnisis and Ald'ruhn.
Thankfully, Z-Something relinquished me fairly easily — probably fully aware that, given the importance of the Gnisis pilgrimages, he had no shortage of unwitting travellers to ambush. He let me go with the gift of a weak energizing potion (I was polite enough not to mention that I had significantly better ones in my pack) and a small round wooden emblem.
"A pilgrimage token. They've fallen out of favour, mostly, but I'm still fond of them. Time was that you'd take the token from here and bring it to the shrine at Koal Cave — maybe you can come back another day when you are fully recovered and do the same."
I didn't mention to him that I wasn't planning on doing the Koal Cave pilgrimage another day. I'd lost less time to my fainting fit and enforced tea break than I'd thought, the sun was still high in the sky, and who knew when I'd next be in Gnisis?
As I left the Temple, I could feel something niggling at me, like an itch at the back of my brain. I suspected I knew what it was.
There was no doubt about it: doing the second pilgrimage no doubt qualified as reckless behaviour, the sort that all my friends would be highly unimpressed to hear about. What would I do if I collapsed again? This time not in the middle of the Temple with a helpful healer mere feet away, but in the wilderness with nobody around? Better to come back another day, or at least wait for Jamie and ask her to accompany me.
This was, of course, totally right. I ignored it anyway. I knew it was stupid even as I did it, but...
The thing was that changing my plans because I was worried about spontaneous loss of consciousness meant I had to acknowledge it was happening. That there was a problem here. And unlike Z-Something, I didn't think it was a residual effect from greenspore. Not after my strange moment of panic faced with the shrine at Vivec's doorstep, my earlier fainting fit when faced with the god himself when he came out from seclusion to quell the riot.
No. All evidence pointed to the fact that the problem came from somewhere else... somewhere, one might say, divine . And admitting that openly, even to myself, felt like setting off an explosive rune in the mountains in the midst of winter — far too high a chance of finding myself buried by the consequences. In an odd way, ignoring it until I couldn't possibly anymore felt a lot safer than looking at it head-on.
And so, when I reached the edge of town, I followed the signpost bearing the symbol of the Shrine of Valor, emphatically not thinking about how bad of an idea it was.
The itch at the back of my mind didn't leave me.
The other shrine was outside town. The path there was over the rocky shore, trodden smooth by generations of pilgrims, awash with seawater and suffering from a serious invasion of algae. A single look at it had me backtracking to check with a local that there was really no alternate route and that the tide was on the way out, not in. Before I set out I also made certain my pack was shut and the waterproofing enchantments I'd splurged on a while back were holding. I was worried the near future would include me making far closer acquaintance with the ocean than I'd like.
I picked my way carefully, testing every step before I put my weight on it. After ten minutes or so I cast my water-walking spell, but even with the little extra grip given by magicka it was a long slog and I was damp, cold and exhausted when I finally reached the cave beneath the archway The Pilgrim's Path had described.
Inside, the path sloped downwards, the slippery water-worn rocks giving way to a genuine seawater pool. Luminescent mushrooms grew on the ceiling, making the surface of the water shimmer with light and hiding its depths from view. I looked up at them, gauged the distance, considered my muscle strength, and mournfully decided that collecting samples would need to wait until I either managed to gain two feet in height or master flying.
(Maybe if I came back with a levitation potion?)
The shrine was across from me, separated from the entrance by the pool. Since the tide was low, it might be possible to wade through the shallow water at the side. Alternatively, if you were — say — a member of the guild renowned for their magical prowess, you might just renew your water-walking spell and make your way straight over.
At this rate, I was probably going to need a magicka potion to get back, I thought as I set foot on the surface, ripples spreading out from where my feet touched the still surface.
The shrine itself was high enough to be safe from the tide. Judging by the scattered flowers in front of it and the wooden bowl bearing pilgrimage tokens, it had regular visitors despite the extremely awkward, dangerous, and above all wet journey to get there. I dropped my own token into the bowl, then turned to face the triangular stone. Given that this was my sixth pilgrimage, it really shouldn't feel quite so much like confronting an enemy.
It was strangely quiet, as though there were no roaring ocean outside at all, the sound of water dripping onto stone the only sound breaking the silence. Shadows played strangely over the carved inscription on the shrine-stone, so that the letters seemed to twist and move. The bowl in front of it was empty, awaiting my offering like an open mouth.
I'd expected I'd have to steel myself at this juncture, that actually making the offering would require quite a bit of willpower. After all, dreugh wax was not an easy ingredient to come by, and Ajira and I could certainly have made much of the portion I'd bought off Cienne for this purpose. We could have tested whether its rumoured muscle-strengthening effect really held up to reality, or whether mixing it with kwama cuttle really gave a better sealant than the kwama cuttle-shalk resin mixture I was using. For all that one had to commend Vivec on his taste — if I were a god, I'd also demand rare expensive alchemical ingredients as tribute — giving it up still smarted.
And yet I didn't hesitate a moment as I reached into my pack and took out the oilcloth-wrapped bundle. Even the thought of alchemical experimentation had palled. Something in this cave was giving me goosebumps, and it wasn't the cool air. I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.
The instant I dropped the bundle into the offering bowl, I took several steps back, retreating to the edge of the water. It was stupid, no doubt — I'd just increased my risk of drowning if I lost consciousness — but some part of me felt indescribably better with some distance between me and the shrine.
The dreugh wax glowed, then vanished. The glow remained and spread over to me, leaving me feeling lighter on my feet.
Lighter on my feet, but not light-headed . The shrine also refrained from jumping out to bite me, or whatever I'd been worried about. I heaved a small sigh of relief-
Behind me, something splashed.
I hurled myself away from the water even as pain tore along my calf. At the shrine, I whirled around, flickering flames sparking to life in my hand.
Well.
I had to give my instincts one thing: they had correctly picked up on the fact that there was something dangerous in the cave. Unfortunately for those instincts, I also immediately had to retract my praise again, because they'd been so convinced that the source of the threat was the shrine that I had wholly, entirely missed the dreugh in the salt-water pool.
The face of the creature was disturbingly like a mer, but instead of hair its skull was covered in thick plates of chitin, and the arm it stretched out of the water ended not in a hand but in a thick crab-claw. The serrated edges of the claw glistened darkly in the light, matching the burning sting in my leg. I'd managed to get out of range before it could drag me into the water, but I hadn't escaped entirely unscathed. I dared a glance down — yes, my trousers were torn below the knee and darkening with blood — before I decided that I should probably not take my eyes off the dreugh.
It still swam in the shallows, dark eyes fixed on me. When I met its gaze, it opened its mouth in a wide grin, showing teeth that definitely belonged to a carnivore. It didn't seem all that frustrated by the fact that its attempt to seize me had failed.
But... why should it be?
Slowly, the seriousness of my situation dawned on me. The dreugh had me trapped. It couldn't reach me at the shrine, but there was no way I'd be able to waterwalk to the entrance without it catching me. And even if I did, miraculously, manage to get past it here... I was wounded. I was bleeding. Dreugh were known to be able to follow blood trails in water, and the way back ran far too close to the coastline for my liking.
Well. There was one easy way for me to escape the situation, one I'd made use of before. Jamie wouldn't be too impressed, true, but better Hlormaren than dead.
I reached for the pouch at my neck…
…and found it empty.
The shock of it, the disjunction between the world that I was expecting and the one I'd actually encountered, was like stepping on an electric rune. Where was the pouch with the Hlormaren propylon index? Had I lost it?
Then the memories rose up in my mind. They came slowly, as though embarrassed, but…
After the fever had broken, being a housebound invalid had been extremely boring. I'd been well enough to not sleep the day away, but not well enough to do anything, alchemy having been out of the question due to the tremor in my hands. One day, after I'd already reread every book we had in the house for the third time, I'd turned to my propylon indices. Taken them all out (using gloves), compared them, taken some notes, thinking vaguely of showing up Blowfish by getting a report on the things published…
…and, it seemed, never actually put the Hlormaren index back in my emergency kit the way I'd planned.
So. A quick and easy escape to the Bitter Coast was out thanks to my own idiocy. What were my other options?
I could, of course, wait for rescue. Jamie would surely come looking for me when I didn't show for the strider, and she knew I'd been planning to visit both the shrines. I trusted my friend's capabilities against a dreugh any day. But there was a small problem with that plan.
The high-tide mark was just below the shrine. It might be far enough that the offerings and shrine tokens were safe from the water, but only by a foot or two. The dreugh's clawed arms were longer than that.
Would Jamie realise I'd gone missing, go looking for me, and find me here before the tide rose to the point where the dreugh could reach me? I had an unpleasant suspicion as to the answer.
I mentally went through the contents of my pack, but none of the potions I'd brought with me were up to the task of scaring away a hunting dreugh. I also highly doubted I'd be able to bluff my way out the way I had at Arkngthand — the dreugh struck me as smarter than the thugs I'd fooled there.
"I don't suppose you'll let me just leave," I told the dreugh hopelessly. I'd heard legends about a great dreugh civilisation in the distant past, but even the sailors who told them treated them as fanciful to the point of absurdity. If dreugh were intelligent, nobody had managed to communicate with one since the Mythic Era.
The dreugh answered me by smiling wider, letting its needle-sharp teeth glint in the greenish light. A long tongue snaked past them as it lifted its claw to its mouth. The creature didn't drop eye contact as it licked up my blood with every evidence of enjoyment.
A bolt of pain from my leg stole my breath for a moment. I really hoped that the way the wound burned was from the salt water. Dreugh weren't venomous, were they?
Alone, injured, all my tricks at an end, I felt a strange thought well up within me.
If only I had some help-
The dreugh blurred.
For a moment, I didn't realise what had happened. From one eye-blink to the next the whole world had become strange and indistinct, as though underwater. Had the creature cast something?
Then there was movement, enough for me to make sense of what I was seeing. Namely, two transparent figures in front of me.
As far as I could tell from only their backs, they hadn't changed since Ghostgate. The Dunmer man was vibrant despite his lack of solidity, the woman — Altmer? Bosmer? Surely not Chimer — a faded wisp, half a head shorter than him. They stood side-by-side all the same, a miniature Ghostfence between me and the dreugh.
The dreugh wasn't smiling anymore. Its alien eyes had left me to fixate unblinking on the Dunmer man, its claw clacking open and shut rhythmically. It bared its teeth and let out a low hiss.
My ancestor took a small step forward. Red light gathered in that transparent hand.
At that point, the dreugh apparently thought better of trying to eat me. With a small splash it dove beneath the water and was gone, ripples the only sign it had ever been there.
For a moment, I simply let myself stand still, frozen in my astonishment. I'd been in life-threatening situations before, and never once had an ancestral guardian showed up to help me. Some asking around had proved that it was beyond rare for clanless Dunmer like myself to be able to summon them. Something about the need for guardians to be strengthened through regular sacrifices at the family altar, which was quite difficult to do if one didn't know how to find it. I'd accepted the fact that my brush with them at Ghostgate would be the last I'd see of them unless I decided to pursue kinfinding services.
The man turned around and winked at me.
Of course, they had also said that it was possible for even those ghosts without the power for it to cross over and manifest in the world of the living in places with great spiritual energy or close to their altars. I'd mainly tucked away this fact as an explanation for my experience at Ghostgate. I'd never considered that this, of course, applied to other places too — but if anywhere qualified, surely it was the shrine at my back.
"I, um. Thank you?" I tried. I'd gathered enough by now to know that this was definitely not the appropriate Morrowind-style greeting to an ancestral spirit who'd just hauled your potions out of the flame before they could explode. Thankfully, neither of them looked offended.
In fact, the man wasn't even looking at my face, but at somewhere nearer the floor. I followed his gaze to my wounded leg, which immediately took revenge for my having been momentarily distracted from it by sending a bolt of pain up my thigh.
I did have some healing potions in my bag. Maybe I'd be able to at least close the wound, well enough to limp back to-
A cooling rush of magicka touched my skin, and the pain subsided. I was willing to bet that if I inspected the wound now, I'd discover it had been replaced with a new scar.
I mentally added excellent healer to the very, very few things I knew about this ancestor.
"Really, thanks," I said again as the man drifted back upright. "I'd have been a goner without you. And, um, I promise I'll leave you some offerings if I, er, ever find our family altar?"
The man responded by reaching out with one hand. Something cool and insubstantial brushed over my head, like a strong breeze.
I was definitely too old for hair-ruffling, ghostly or otherwise.
...but maybe I'd wait a little while to tell him that.
I heaved a sigh, then turned. Chased away by my ancestors or not, I should probably vacate the area before that dreugh got back.
Except that the instant I stepped towards the shore, the woman was in front of me, hand outstretched with her palm outwards. Even with no word spoken, the meaning was obvious: Stop.
Obligingly, I stopped — far be it from me to argue with my honoured ancestors, never to mention the people who'd just saved me from becoming dreugh food. Still, I could feel my forehead wrinkle. What was the issue?
"Ah... I was planning to leave eventually, you know..."
The woman drifted to the shrine- no, not to the shrine. Next to the shrine. To the bowl filled with shrine tokens, which she pointed at emphatically.
The niggling feeling was back. Like there was something I was overlooking. Something important. And it wasn't the fact that I should never have done this pilgrimage.
The tokens. Z-Something had told me about the tokens. Something about that conversation, something I'd learned... what had we talked about again?
Me, at the start, but I'd managed to get him to talking about various other people he'd met. Locals like that Telvanni wizard, or pilgrims he ambushed when they completed the pilgrimages. Pilgrims he gave these tokens. One of them being Morvayn Junior.
The niggling feeling grew stronger.
"Morvayn Junior? Something about him?" I asked out loud, and got a nod as confirmation. The man had drifted to stand beside the woman, both of their faces serious, focused, as though they could lead me to the epiphany by willpower alone.
He was a repeating pilgrim, according to Z-Something. Had been coming here regularly for years, and from the priest's tale it wasn't clear to me whether it was for piety or for a sympathetic ear for his familial woes. Although Z-Something had indicated he still did the actual pilgrimages-
And then the realisation hit me, the shock strong enough I almost sat down right there on the wet stone.
The pilgrimages. He'd been coming here regularly, the priest had said, and doing the pilgrimages every time. Including the one in the Temple, which I had just this morning been informed included a very strong purification spell.
Hanarai had been arrested at the start of Frostfall, and Morvayn Junior had claimed to have received the statue just before. On questioning by the Temple after his cleaning, he'd said it had been a slow corruption taking place over the course of months. But Z-Something hadn't mentioned any interruption to the visits. And as I knew from experience, the way the shrine was set up in the Temple meant it — and you — were in plain view of the priests. They would have noticed if he'd just been pretending to fulfill the ritual.
So if he'd been regularly getting hit with a purification spell, how had the statue's corruption reached the point where he'd been mind-controlled into almost murdering his own bodyguard?
Unless it hadn't.
Unless it had never been the statue at fault in the first place.
I looked back into the eyes of the two ghosts watching me. "He's a cultist. That's what you're trying to tell me, isn't it? He was never Controlled-"
But it was a tenuous chain of reasoning, all things told, a lot of assumptions piled on top of each other. What if he'd just not done the pilgrimages for a few months and given the priest some excuse?
Well. There was one person who'd be able to tell me.
"I really need to talk to that priest again," I said out loud.
This time, neither of the ghosts blocked me when I raced to the exit.
The trip back to Gnisis was much easier than the journey to the cave had been. This was thanks entirely to my ancestor, who stopped me when I was about to make my way back along the slippery shoreline. Instead, he led me into the hills, where we quickly found ourselves on a path, one that was overgrown in places but still clearly in use. I wasn't sure if the townsperson I'd spoken to in Gnisis had deliberately misled me out of sadistic delight in imagining me scramble and fall on the rocky coast or the hard journey was considered part of the pilgrimage — in any case I was thankful my ancestor knew a faster way, through whatever means (my money was on mystic knowledge from the afterlife, considering).
The woman faded away not long after we left the cave, gone from one moment to the next. The man, however, kept pace with me the whole trip back. I guessed it wasn't a coincidence that we were entirely unbothered by the local wildlife the whole journey, the one kagouti we saw giving us a wide berth. Only when the walls of Gnisis were in sight did he stop.
He was barely any more visible than the woman had been at this point, his strength to project himself into the world of the living clearly fading. For all that a strange sense of urgency gripped me, for all that he was making encouraging go on, then motions in my direction, I felt I couldn't just leave him without a word.
"Thank you. For saving my life, and cluing me in to what's going on with Morvayn Junior, and guiding me back here, and. Everything. I really will try to bring you offerings once I figure out who you are," I told the man.
I should really have left it there, but for some reason my mouth kept going.
"And, um. I am aware that today might not have shown me in the best light, given the… dreugh… situation. I want to underline that this sort of thing is an exception. I am usually thoughtful, prudent, and not impulsive in any way whatsoever. A model descendant, I assure you. Anyone telling you otherwise is lying."
My ancestor laughed soundlessly. It looked like a full-body chortle, not the sort of well-bred chuckle that would be polite. I found myself wistful that I couldn't hear it.
Then the breeze came back, and...
We were supposed to be polite to our ancestors, weren't we? Telling him to stop ruffling my hair would be rude, surely. No one could possibly fault me for neglecting to do so.
I closed my eyes — just to block out the sun, most definitely not because I was enjoying the sensation. When I opened them again, I was alone again.
Well, there was no point in standing around agonising over it. Not when I should really be getting moving.
Gnisis seemed busier than it had when I'd left it a few hours ago. The Legion was out in force, and there was a knot of people standing in front of the entrance to a house gesturing wildly. I gave them a brief look, then decided that it had nothing to do with me and, furthermore, I was full up on problems already, and made a bee-line towards the Temple.
Luckily for me, Z-Something was both still in the Temple and not occupied with a patient (or should that be victim?) when I blew back inside. He blinked at me, apparently puzzled by the sight of someone coming back for more conversation without coercion being involved somehow.
"Young one? Is something the matter?"
I took a deep breath, then another. It was possible I'd run more than walked the last half-mile, the nervous energy that had been building ever since my epiphany in Koal Cave finally taking hold of me.
"You could say that. I urgently need to ask you some questions about Dathis Morvayn."
A frown grew on Z-Something's face. I gathered I did not make a particularly trustworthy sight — trousers ripped at the knee from my afternoon misadventures, hair so wind-blown it was to all appearances attempting to make a break for freedom, gasping for air from my run, all in all looking very much as though I'd had the shock of my life since we'd last met.
"Ah- I didn't mention before, but I've been assisting Neminda and Athyn Sarethi with investigating a dangerous organisation, one known to have had contact with the Morvayn family. I realised that something you said earlier might be relevant to my work," I added to reassure the man, and found myself a little disturbed that every word was true.
"Well…" Z-Something hesitated, clearly torn. I mentally crossed my fingers that his very obvious love of gossip would win out. "All right." Score! "But don't think I won't be checking with Kinswoman Neminda," the man added sternly.
"No problem. Perfectly understandable." Relief drowned the nervous energy that had carried me this far, and I suddenly realised that I was, in fact, exhausted. "Um, do you mind if we sit down? It's been a long day."
And so I ended up back in the healer's office, this time with no hackle-lo. We got sidetracked briefly when Z-Something noticed my bloody torn trouser-leg and I was forced to spend several minutes assuring him that although I had been wounded earlier, it was now all healed… but after that, I could start asking my questions.
The very first answer I got was already telling.
"Interruption? No, Dathis has been coming once or twice a month for at least two years now. Very devout, he is — always completes both the pilgrimages. I wager half the shrine tokens in Koal Cave must be his at this point."
Further probing revealed that he'd definitely been to Gnisis in both Evening Star and not long after the New Year, and that Z-Something had seen him complete the ritual both times. At this point, I felt I could safely declare any hope for Morvayn Junior's innocence dashed.
I could have left at that point, but speaking with him again had made me realise that I was still missing a piece of this puzzle. Because why was Morvayn Junior bothering to come here at all? Surely a cultist had better things to do than to spend hours sitting around drinking tea with an old priest. And it would have been the easiest thing in the world to taper off the visits over the time, claim a loss of interest. Instead, it sounded like the visits had increased if anything over the last six months. There had to be something he was getting out of this.
Maybe Z-Something was a cultist too?
I glanced at the old priest.
…well, if he was, I'd been so blatantly obvious about what I asking about that he couldn't possibly have missed it. And yet he hadn't attempted to kill me so far! All in all, it seemed like a relatively unlikely possibility.
"What sort of things did you usually talk about, if you don't mind me asking?"
Up until half a year ago, it had apparently been teenage angst, with a particular focus on Morvayn Junior's dislike of his new stepmother and baby half-brother along with his arguments with his father. One day, however, he'd shown up looking far more at peace with the universe than usual, and had informed his local mind-healer that he'd found a satisfactory way to deal with the situation. Z-Something was under the impression that he'd finally had the honest conversation with his father the priest had been pushing for and come to an accord, and gratefully left the topic alone.
He'd mentioned something like this in our earlier conversation, I remembered. And it was another warning sign I'd missed then. Because I knew from my interviews that Morvayn Junior was very definitely still not on good terms with any of his family, one particular screaming match shortly before the end of the year apparently the matter of household legend. No, he'd certainly not made peace with anyone… which meant that satisfactory way to deal with the situation took on a new, ominous tone.
But none of that explained why he'd kept visiting.
I immediately regretted asking that question when Z-Something lit up. The expression on his face was one I was, by now, very familiar with — the delight of someone with a passionate interest in a, shall we say, unpopular subject area who believes they have found a willing audience. It was one that did not bode well when you were on the receiving end.
(If anyone argued that I myself was more commonly the perpetrator of such, well. What could I say. Alchemy was an intrinsically fascinating subject, and anyone who disagreed was clearly a fool with no taste or curiosity whatsoever.)
Z-Something's passion of choice turned out to be history, with a particular focus on the pre-Redoran period in Ald'ruhn-
"Wait," I interrupted at that point, curious despite myself. "Pre-Redoran? I thought Ald'ruhn was founded by the Redoran."
Realising that he was faced with an absolute ignorant, Z-Something opted to start at the beginning.
Ald'ruhn, it seemed, had once been a holy place for the Velothi tribes as it was where they had once jointly killed the last of the emperor crabs. I had to admit that given the size of its shell, I'd assumed the thing had died of natural causes and was having some trouble with this new version of the tale. Just. How? Physically, how?
In any case, it had served as a pilgrimage destination and a neutral gathering place where tribal councils were held. In later years, spiritualism had given way to pragmatics — as the Velothi tribes were increasingly marginalised by the expanding Great Houses, Ald'ruhn had become one of the few permanent Velothi settlements. To no avail in the end, and I'd bet septims against drakes that the story of how Redoran had come to control the city was not a happy one, but it still made for a historically unique location.
"They built from crab-shells, possibly having copied the method from nearby Redoran settlements such as here in Gnisis. But they preferred to use larger shells and include large underground portions, with most of a clan living together in a single dwelling rather than the small houses more common these days. The Redoran ended up adopting this style themselves for their manor houses, and many of the larger buildings in Ald'ruhn now stem from the Ashlander era. Another atypical thing they built was tunnels connecting all the different buildings. It must have made sense to them, communally-minded as they were, especially as the tunnels allowed for safe travel even during the increasingly violent ash storms and allowed for escape when attacked. Urshilaku legend has it that those tunnels saved the life of many of the tribe when House Redoran finally laid claim to the area by force in the late Second Era. After that, the tunnel entrances were almost all closed off."
Z-Something's eyes were sparkling, the man clearly relishing the opportunity to share his knowledge with an interested audience. And it was true that I'd become drawn in by the story, had almost forgotten what had brought me here…
Except that this nugget of information brought me firmly back to earth.
"Closed off?" I asked. My voice was sharper than I'd intended, and Z-Something gave me an askance look at the tone, but I couldn't control the formless dread rising within me. "Not fully blocked, or caved in?"
Z-Something shook his head. "I'm sure most people believe so — of those who even know about the tunnels, which isn't very many these days — but documents from the time are clear if you know where to look. It was decided that the cost in manpower and material would be far too high, easier to simply brick them up and cover- what is it?"
I hadn't decided to get up, but found myself on my feet all the same. My legs were trembling faintly, I noticed. I didn't think it was from exhaustion.
"Thank you very much for the conversation. It was very, ah, illuminating. But I'm afraid I really, really have to go now."
I didn't give Z-Something another glance as I swept out of the room, mind consumed by the epiphany unfolding in it.
Circles in the dust. Whispers on the edge of hearing in the lowest levels, loudest not in any of the rooms but in one of the corridors. Morvayn Junior still coming to see Z-Something when he must have long been a cultist, listening to him expound about Ald'ruhn's history, about all the forgotten details of its construction. The tunnels.
I knew where those ash statues had gone.
A short while later found me pacing a circle in front of the strider platform, trying to rid myself of the electric energy coursing through my body. I wanted nothing more than to get back to Ald'ruhn as soon as possible to let Neminda know everything I'd worked out over the course of the day, an action that would hopefully soon be followed by Morvayn Junior being arrested and those tunnels searched for statues. Alas, due to my difficulties with teleportation magic as soon as possible in this case meant another two hours' wait for the strider. Perhaps I'd have been able to shave off some time if I'd been able to teleport to Hlormaren and make my way to Balmora from there, but, of course, its propylon index was currently sitting on my desk being useless. The caravaneer wasn't going to listen to me if I asked her if we could leave early. And starting to walk, tempting though it was to my animal instincts, was ridiculous — on foot the journey would take days.
The delay did have one advantage: I'd be able to meet up with Jamie as planned and let someone else in on my discoveries.
"I'm glad to see you made it already."
Speak of the dremora.
"Jamie!" I'd rarely been quite so happy to see my friend. "I- I figured something out today-"
For a moment, I stumbled as I wanted to explain all the day's events at the same time. After a brief bout of sputtering as Jamie's brows drew together in concern, I figured out how to distill it to the most important thing.
"Morvayn's son is an active and voluntary cultist, not controlled by a statue. The cleansing won't have done anything, and he needs to be taken into custody as soon as possible."
There. I immediately felt as though some great weight had been lifted off my shoulders, now that I was no longer the only person in the know-
Jamie let out a relieved sigh. "Oh, good. I'm glad we're on the same page."
Wait. What?
It turned out that, unlike me, Jamie had never been entirely convinced of Morvayn Junior's innocence.
"It was just a little too pat. Didn't smell right, you know? And those stories you'd gathered about how much he disliked his stepmother and half-brother alarmed me. Resentment like that festers, can lead people to do things you wouldn't think they were capable of."
Lesson learned: I was not one of nature's detectives. Jamie, however, clearly was. The next time Neminda needed an investigator I knew who I'd send her to.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Well, I didn't have any proof, did I? And it wasn't like I was sure ." Jamie shrugged. I, who had never once let lack of proof hold me back from sharing my opinion loudly and at length, had to fight down a blush. "But when that woman in the tradehouse told us that Morvayn came here regularly, I decided to poke around a little. Especially since he used the pilgrimages as an excuse to leave his bodyguard behind."
A detail I'd completely missed at the time.
"I figured out that he regularly met with one of the miners here. Went to see the man to see if he'd answer some questions, and... well, he attacked me. Unfortunately the Legion got involved, things got... messy, and I didn't manage to keep him alive for questioning. But Hetman Abelmawia, that's the local Redoran representative I was here to see in the first place, got me out of jail once I filled him in on the details and gave me permission to search the man's house."
All right, it sounded like Jamie had had at least as exciting a day as me. I gave her a closer look to see if I could spot any sign of her trials, but she looked totally unruffled. Not a braid out of place. As though she fought cultists and the Legion every day.
Wow. She was actually pretty cool, wasn't she?
"It's good that you're here, actually," Jamie continued. "Because there wasn't much, but I did find this." She held out a piece of parchment. "Figured you'd know what to do with it better than me."
I glanced over it and read:
NSHQYPSCKYWVOAWPHMLPHFJXFQRGEAMPRYTWEIEEANNXZXAMEPLEHJZJAVPQVVQWESXTETDAVHJNORSWIWHSEEWSPDLOSOELIBXYAGVSJRVJGFVPDVUWNNQSDLQQQEXWIINEQVWMOMKMPMCHEASCFWKLEVJQCQVFPHOVGGALWQMVHXJQNNEKHMWMYWHPAEPHOCOBSPSWPPTEIJTRELHBVDZVHLEBASNELAPW
All right. So trying to break that would give me something to do to fill the wait for the strider...
Unless they hadn't realised anyone had managed to break Guvron's message back then, thought we'd identified Hanarai Assutlanipal in another way. In that case, it was possible they hadn't changed the key. Vigenerus encryption, it had been, and… what had the key been, again? The sleeper wakes, that was right.
I used one of the crates awaiting loading as an impromptu writing desk, fished out parchment from my pack, was just wondering about writing utensils when Jamie pressed her little travel quill-and-ink set into my hand (I had to get myself one of those), and set myself to trying my theory. My frown eased as I discovered that yes, they'd been sloppy enough not to change the key, and words took shape one by one on the parchment.
Uldyn long have we waited but our waiting is at an end the time has…
After a minute my hand jerked, leaving a large blotch on the parchment.
"Adryn?"
I spun around to stare at Jamie. My face must have told its own story, because when she saw my expression her lips pressed together and her hand clenched around the hilt of her sword.
"We have to get back to Ald'ruhn now. "
Notes:
Dear readers, at long last and literally over a decade of writing we've reached it: book 1 endgame is here! From here on out a lot of plot threads will start reaching their conclusion and a lot of chapters will end in cliffhangers. I feel like they'll lose a lot of their impact if spaced out by months, which means...
From here to the end of book 1, updates will be weekly.
I am relatively certain this will actually work out because I have, in fact, written and edited into at least a postable state the entirety of the next seven chapters, bar one scene in the epilogue that still needs minor editing for consistency which I figure I'll manage to sort out before we get there.
...if the epilogue gets delayed, feel free to tell me I should've known better.
Chapter 34: Chapter Thirty-Two
Notes:
Content warnings for those who might need them at the end.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
We were too late.
Even from the back of the strider, even dark as it was, we could see light around Morvayn Manor — torches, but more ominously the flash of spells. It was enough to illuminate figures scuttling around the place. The drifting air carried shouting to us, as well as — after we disembarked — the smell of smoke, blood, and something else. Something sickly-sweet and rotten, something that made all my animal instincts want to turn tail.
As we ran, I cursed Ledd's syndrome — or maybe my inability to learn standard Mysticism, whatever — stronger than I'd ever cursed it before. Jamie's own magical abilities were concentrated in the Restoration school, her knowledge of Mysticism in particular paltry enough to leave spells like Intervention or Mark and Recall out of her reach. That made me, as the actual mage, the one who should have had the ability to get back to Ald'ruhn instantaneously to warn them. Except I couldn't, because casting that sort of spell had a very significant chance of sending me into the Daedra-cursed stratosphere. Jamie had drawn on all the authority she had to bear to get the caravaneer to set off earlier than scheduled, but all the same we'd spent hours on the strider, knowing an attack was under way.
The time has finally come to teach Ald'ruhn a lesson, the letter had said. I will show them the glory of our Lord, and make my father regret his blindness. Be ready, my brother. On the first Sundas of Sun's Dawn they will all learn that our Lord wakes.
That was going through my head on the way. When we finally got to Morvayn Manor, I realised that it wouldn't have mattered. Everything about the scene at hand — the guarded perimeter, the healer's camp set up to one side with rows of field beds set up under an awning stretched between poles and the city wall, the exhaustion on every visible face — said that even that would have been too late. From the looks of it, the attack had begun hours ago. It might have even started while we were still on the strider to Gnisis.
I'd thought that would help. It didn't. Instead I just felt utterly, indescribably useless.
(How easily I'd dismissed him. How easily I'd let my empathy for the Controlled lead me to believe he was just like Varvur, drawn to near-disaster by the statue. If I'd been suspicious like Jamie, if I'd insisted to the others that we should continue to investigate, could we have uncovered this in time? We would never know.)
"Look." The guard who met us was still wearing his helmet, but judging by the way his shoulders slumped and the exhaustion in his voice he was in desperate need of a break. "We don't need gawkers."
"Do you need help?" Jamie interrupted. "I'm a warrior of House Redoran who's familiar with the threat here and also adept level in the Restoration school. She..."
"Is not," I picked up, "but I've got healing potions, and know basic first aid. Worst comes to worst, I'm good to carry things."
The guard nodded. "All right. We won't say no to more pairs of hands."
The area around the manor was clearly well-organized chaos, by now. Jamie got directed to the entrance, which was fenced off by a magical barrier and under guard. Every now and then, someone passed through the barrier — usually supporting or carrying another person who was moaning in pain. From the looks of it, the actual fighting was over and we were now dealing with the aftermath.
A robed woman stood behind the guards, hands empty but brow furrowed in concentration. Whenever a survivor was brought out, she looked at them, then spoke.
"Clean. Clean. Blighted. Clean. Clean."
I drifted closer myself as Jamie spoke quietly with the guard. After all, I knew her.
"Beyte? Do you need help?"
Beyte Fyr glanced up at me. The dancing eyes were solemn, and there was ash smeared all over her fancy robe.
"Thanks for the offer, but... you've only ever detected Blight, yes? Because some of them are coming out with corprus." She winced at the words. I followed suit. I'd gathered enough to know that that was a death sentence, and not a kind one. "I don't doubt that you could learn to detect it, but..."
"Maybe not now. Makes sense. But let me know if you're flagging — better me than no one, right?"
Her smile looked painful. "I will. But... I don't think there are that many left."
And so I ended up helping with the wounded.
And there were many wounded. From the looks of it, the inhabitants of the manor had been caught completely unawares. The attackers — whoever and what ever they'd been — had not entered through the main door. Perhaps the tunnels were to blame, those forgotten relics of Ald'ruhn's past rising up to haunt its present. Or...
One of the survivors, an older man in servant's garb with a knife-wound on his chest, was staring blindly at the sky. "Fedar, no. " The words sounded like they should be a scream but his throat wouldn't allow one. "What are you doing, what were you doing, it's me- "
The Temple had checked all the inhabitants for influence of the sort that had taken Varvur's mind from him. Had declared them all clean.
Once. Months ago.
And we'd all simply blindly assumed that they would stay that way.
I threw myself into the work, as if it would let me escape the guilt snapping at my heels. At the start, I was kept busy — passing bandages, bringing around water and healing potions, mixing together a crude saltrice-wickwheat mash for poultices when the healers realised I had alchemy training.
But soon enough, the bustle died down. Small wonder, as they weren't bringing wounded out of the manor anymore.
Instead, they were bringing out the dead.
The sight of corpses being lined up next to the manor entrance drew my eye like flame drew a moth. Bodies of people who'd still been alive, talking and laughing, hours ago. People I'd spoken to. People who'd had no idea what was about to happen to them, been dragged into this by a spoiled boy who didn't like his stepmother and decided to join a cult over it.
Something twisted in my stomach, as though I'd swallowed a stone.
I was, on the whole, terrible at hating. It was too easy to put myself into people's shoes, to try to imagine why they might have done something. The curse of excessive empathy — and it was a curse, whatever Athyn Sarethi had to say about the matter.
But here and now, I hated Dathis Morvayn, with a fervour that surprised me. I didn't know what had happened to him after he'd called this into being, but I hoped he'd still been in the manor when the Redoran warriors came in.
I hoped they'd killed him. I hoped it had hurt.
My thoughts, I decided, weren't going anywhere good. And just because there weren't any new patients didn't mean that our existing ones couldn't use some support. I tore myself away from the sight of the dead and paced along the pallets.
Without even thinking about it properly, I found myself drifting to the far end of the impromptu camp. I hadn't been here much so far, not after my initial attempt at bringing over some healing potions had been diverted by Sosia, shaking her head with a solemn expression on her face.
"There's nothing more we can do for them," she'd said. "Give those to the people who still have a chance."
Most of the people lying on those cots were still now, motionless. Unbreathing. Yet more dead to pile next to those they were bringing out. But some of them were still clinging to life. The whimpering coming from near me certainly wasn't being produced by a corpse.
The source of the sound was a girl. My heart plummeted when I saw her.
Yasamsi Zenammu, Mouse as I'd once nicknamed her, lay shivering before me, her servant's garb dark with blood. Younger than me, she should be looking forward to centuries more in this world, not lying on the cold ground as her life seeped away.
I wondered if Dathis Morvayn had ever spoken to her. I wondered if he'd even known her name.
Yasamsi blinked up at me when I knelt next to her cot. Her skin was waxy-pale and beaded with sweat, her breathing rapid but weak. Blood loss, I suspected. Enough of it, maybe, that she'd been deemed a lost cause.
"Hi," I murmured. "I don't know if you remember me. I'm Adryn, we talked not so long ago."
For a moment, I didn't think she'd respond, too out of it from her injuries. Then she whispered, "Yes. You were... Tashpi's friend. Had... questions."
"I did, and you answered them. You helped me a lot, you know." My voice trembled. I had to take a moment to bite back a sob before I could continue. "I never got the chance to thank you."
"Wanted... to help. Mother always said..." Her voice trailed off. "Mother. Where's... mother..."
I winced.
There were two possibilities I saw. The first, that her mother was somewhere in Ald'ruhn, quite possibly unknowing of what had happened. In any case, trying to find her and bring her back would certainly take more time than this girl had left.
The second was worse. Yasamsi and her uncle had been working in Morvayn Manor... why not the rest of the family? I hadn't spoken to Yasamsi's mother in my interviews, but I knew I'd missed some of the staff. It wasn't unlikely her mother was another maid or servant, just one I hadn't met yet.
In which case I could guess where her mother was. They were still bringing out the dead, and already they outnumbered the survivors.
I was, of course, not going to tell Yasamsi any of those things.
"Shhh. She's on her way, I'm sure."
"Promise?"
This was one lie I felt no compunctions about. "Promise."
To distract her, I reached out and folded my hand around hers. The skin was cold, the pulse thready, only the faintest suggestion of pressure around my fingers. I made certain to be very gentle when I squeezed back.
"Hey," I murmured. "Did you ever hear the story of Vivec and the wild guar?"
Apparently spending time with the Armigers had done wonders for my imagination, or maybe sheer need was the key to my creativity. At any rate, I spun the tale without thinking, of clever young Vivec winning the day through trickery, daring and a generous dose of sheer outrageousness.
As I spoke, the furrow between the girl's eyes relaxed. Her breathing grew slower, her eyes drifted closed. If one were not looking too closely — if one were not agonizingly aware of the faint, stumbling beat of her heart — one might think she was just falling asleep after a long, tiring day.
I could feel my eyes begin to sting, moisture welling in them. I gritted my teeth for a moment, dashed the tears away, and continued to speak.
I hadn't been able to figure out what was going on in time to avert this. Hadn't been able to reach Ald'ruhn fast enough once I did. Hadn't even been able to help after disaster struck except for fetching and carrying. There was not a single life that I had managed to save today.
But I could sit here and hold a dying girl's hand.
By the time everything was over, the wounded taken to the Temple and the dead to its crematorium-
(By the time one of the healers pried Yasamsi's cold hand from my own so they could move her from the former category to the latter-)
-by the time there was nothing left for me to do, it was very late. Well past midnight, I guessed, with the part of my brain that was still capable of thought. That wasn't very much brain. Most of it seemed to have fallen into a distant numbness, all nonessential functionality temporarily put on hold thanks to the mix of exhaustion and shock the day had left me with.
I dragged myself through the streets, less deserted than they should be due to the other helpers heading home. Jamie wasn't with me. I'd lost track of her at some point in the evening, didn't know if she was already home or was still occupied somewhere. It didn't matter, I decided. She'd find her way back, and anything that needed to be discussed we could talk about tomorrow morning. For now, the only thing I wanted was my bed.
Which, of course, was when someone grabbed my arm.
Ordinarily, I'd have felt ashamed of being able to be taken by surprise like this. Ordinarily meant not today. Right now I was probably closer to a zombie than a living person, and the undead had never been known for their keen senses and excellent reflexes.
"What?" I blinked at the inexplicable Bosmer-shaped obstacle between me and bed. I didn't recognize him, but in my current state that didn't mean much.
"Adryn, yes?" The question was clearly rhetorical, as the man barrelled on before I could respond. "Such a pleasure to finally meet you, I've been hoping to have the chance for weeks now! Aengoth the Jeweller, at your service."
There were words. Someone was talking.
Why was someone talking to me? Why was he looking at me as if he expected me to respond to him? Conversation took time. Time spent not seeking out my bed.
"...what?" I finally repeated when it became clear that he wasn't going to go away on his own.
"Ah, is this a bad time? I am sorry. Nevertheless, I do need to speak to you." Obstacle glanced around. "Perhaps not here."
It felt like I blinked to find myself somewhere else. Inside, on the ground floor of what must be one of the larger buildings in town. A bar, tables and chairs — still lightly populated despite the hour — spoke to it being a tavern of some sort. Not, however, the Ald Skar Inn that I was most familiar with, although something about it rang a bell.
The Rat in the Pot, it must be. There was some reason I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't quite remember what it was.
"-listening to me?"
I blinked at the woman who'd materialized in front of me. Breton. Holding a steaming beverage.
"You were helping the relief forces in Morvayn manor, weren't you? You have the look."
I nodded. This seemed like the limit of what I could contribute to the conversation.
The woman tutted. "Terrible thing, absolutely terrible. Word on the street has it only Brara Morvayn and her baby survived, of the whole family. Who could have possibly imagined such a thing could happen!"
Me. I should've been able to.
That thought didn't have the sting of earlier, as though its sharp edges had been blunted by exhaustion.
"Here, this will help wake you up. On the house."
I sniffed the tall glass she put in front of me. Scathecraw, trama root, dried stoneflower petals... a restorative.
A frightfully bitter one, enough so that I couldn't stop my face from contorting as I sipped it, but the level of concentration helped it do its job. Soon the rest of the tavern began coming into focus as part of my brain slowly, grudgingly, resumed its work.
"I hope you're more capable of conversation now?" Obstacle said from where he was sitting across from me. "Excellent. As I was saying earlier, I'm Aengoth the Jeweller."
And now that name rang a bell. Aengoth the Jeweller. Habasi's colleague, head of the Ald'ruhn branch of the Thieves' Guild. The one I'd still been trying to avoid.
The one whose headquarters we were sitting in right now.
Restorative or no, my emotions hadn't recovered yet. Thus, I could only view the fact that I had yet again been cornered and dragged somewhere by the very people I'd been trying to avoid with vague detachment. This was probably an improvement on panic.
"Could we not have done this tomorrow?"
"Alas, the matter is somewhat urgent. I do apologise, and promise I won't keep you longer than necessary. I understand you've had something of a busy day."
Yasamsi's face floated in front of me, still in death.
A busy day.
Numbly, I contemplated throwing the rest of the restorative in his face, or possibly trying to claw his eyes out or tear open his throat with my teeth. It was almost certainly a bad idea, but for some reason I couldn't quite remember why.
Obstacle gave me an odd look. I wondered how much of my thoughts were currently visible on my face.
"As I was saying, I was hoping to... recruit your services, shall we say. After all, it's my understanding that you have an in with the Mages' Guild."
I did not like where this was going.
"The local alchemist owns a very interesting sword, one he doesn't appreciate properly. Altmer, you know." Obstacle gave a put-upon sigh. "I was hoping for your assistance to... liberate it."
No, the destination we'd arrived at was entirely unpalatable. "No."
Obstacle shook his head, an air of disappointment around him as though I were a misbehaving child. "Oh, this won't do at all. And here Habasi said you were so obliging. "
Habasi.
My over-exhausted brain managed to make the connection: of course. He was blackmailing me too.
"I can see it's a bad time. I'll give you time to sleep on it, shall I? But you should know that I expect it by Fredas, and there'll be an excellent opening tomorrow evening." A pause. "I do hope you change your mind. I would hate to have to take... measures."
And then he was gone.
I considered what had just happened. I had the vague understanding that it was something horrifying. Something I should be extremely upset about. Alas, the concept of upset remained beyond my reach, like trying to pick up a needle while wearing winter mitts.
I decided that I would deal with it in the morning.
The next day dawned sunny and warm, the sun smiling down at us from a blue sky studded with fluffy white clouds. Anyone who saw the way I stared up at it with bleary eyes and a deeply resentful expression would probably have assumed I'd overindulged the night before. I wished it was true; breaking my principles around the voluntary ingestion of poisonous substances would, to my mind, be a lot better than what had happened.
I was just contemplating the idea of going back to bed and refusing to get up unless someone came to me with a time travel spell when Jamie stumbled out of her room, looking as though she'd had two drinks for my one on our hypothetical joint bender. Small wonder — I didn't know what time she'd gotten back last night, but it was after I'd finally fallen into bed.
"First things first," she declared, her voice a croak. "Breakfast."
It was true that the roasted ash yam I'd grabbed from a Gnisis street vendor on the way to Koal Cave seemed like it had been years ago. All the same, I'd never felt less like eating anything in my life. "Jamie, I'm not hungry."
"Who of the two of us is healer-trained? Trust me. We both need food."
I'd learned not to argue with that particular tone of voice.
And it turned out that Jamie had a point, because when she busied herself at the hearth and the smell of frying kwama eggs met my nose I realised I was in fact starving. Add that to a cup of hackle-lo tea, one mixed with scathecraw after I decided that I was willing to accept the bitterness in return for the stronger restorative effect, and by the time my plate was clean a Detection spell might even have shown me as living rather than undead.
Jamie, also looking markedly better, let out a deep sigh when she drained the last of her coffee. "All right," she said. "Now we need to go to see Neminda."
I was not looking forward to that conversation. But it wasn't as if delaying it would make it any more pleasant.
When we reached Neminda's office, Varvur was already there. He was staring silently at the wall, arms wrapped around himself, and all in all didn't look much better than we had that morning; I suspected he hadn't had anyone healer-trained tell him to stop and eat breakfast. He glanced up briefly as we entered, then went back to his perusal of the masonry without a word.
All right, it was clearly flying season for porcines because Varvur hadn't made a stupid remark. Doubly so because I felt absolutely no urge to needle him myself.
I wasn't sure how long we'd sat in silence — long enough for images of last night to grow in my mind's eye, Yasamsi's bloodless face looming before me like an accusation — when the door banged open. All three of us jumped.
"Right," Neminda said. Beside her Athyn Sarethi looked like death warmed over, but Neminda herself was tense, her eyes alert, and all in all looked like she had more energy than the four of us put together. A fine tremble in her hands led me to the conclusion that this wasn't natural but rather alchemically induced. She'd likely crash and crash hard once all this was over. "The Redoran Council needs to know how this happened. Jamie, you mentioned yesterday you and Adryn had something to share."
The worst part, I decided after Jamie and I took turns explaining everything that had happened in Gnisis, was that they didn't blame me. Some part of me was waiting for it with bated breath, like a child who knew they'd done wrong and that there was a punishment coming. Some part of me wanted it, as though hearing someone else give voice to my inner thoughts would make me feel better somehow.
But no. Athyn Sarethi even commended the two of us. "Thanks to you, we almost had him. If only his grand attack had been planned even a single day later..."
Silence enveloped the room as all of us considered just how many people would be alive today in the world of that if only.
"Well, what's done is done," Neminda broke the solemn mood after a moment. She'd begun fiddling with one of the quills on the paperwork tower of her desk, a frantic back-and-forth that showed that her energising potions weren't wearing off anytime soon. "I'm going to dispatch some agents to Gnisis to question the priest and search the home of the agent you uncovered, Jamie. After this, the Council should give me more resources to investigate. Even without declaring an actual state of emergency." Her mouth pursed at the last statement, as though she'd bitten into something very sour.
"Wait, you mean they're not declaring a state of emergency?"
It was only when all heads turned to me that I realised I was the one who'd spoken.
Well, accidentally blurted out or not I stood by my words. I might not be well-versed in Redoran rules and regulations, but I figured that if anything was a state of emergency, having an entire manor of people wiped off the map with the cult responsible making it absolutely clear this was just the start had to qualify.
Silence, again, but distinctly more awkward and less gloomy than the first one. Athyn Sarethi and Neminda traded glances, but neither of them spoke.
The person who finally deigned to explain was the last one I'd have expected.
"What they don't want to admit," Varvur said, "is that it's turning into a power struggle." There was something indescribably bitter in his tone, and he didn't turn to look at me. "With Councilor Morvayn dead and his elder son not an option anymore, his heir would be his younger son. A baby. That's a hard sell at the best of times, let alone now. Venim thinks he can get rid of the seat and use his status as Archmaster to absorb Morvayn's vote and holdings. Llethri thinks it should be kept open for the baby. Arobar thinks a deserving member of the lower ranks should be elevated to the Council. All the House Fathers and House Brothers in Vvardenfell have heard about his opinion and are rushing around trying to prove they should be the one. That's why Father is here instead of at Council — they're being useless. Half of them seem to think the whole thing was an internal struggle rather than, you know, the Sharmat. "
Nobody contradicted him.
All right. It was official. I'd never understand nobles, because I for one thought there were clearly more important things going on right now.
"Is there anything we can do in the meantime, at least? I could go back to Gnisis and talk to that priest again-"
Neminda let out a long sigh. "I wish I could — you seem to have developed a rapport with him — but it's not a good idea. There'll be a lot more eyes on this operation now, and questions asked about why someone who isn't a member of the House was involved. Especially with what happened... some people will be looking for someone to blame."
The expression on my face must have been a picture, because Athyn Sarethi straightened from his defeated slump at the sight of it.
"I will not let that happen." His voice cut through the stillness of the room like a bell.
Neminda nodded in agreement. "We'll be able to fend anything like that off, don't worry," she picked up. "But it's probably still better for you to lay low for a bit. I can send agents to Gnisis. Even with no state of emergency, the Council will definitely agree to that much after yesterday."
Was it only yesterday I'd been hoping I could disentangle myself from this investigation? Now, with Neminda handing me a gold-plated excuse, I couldn't imagine myself just returning to my alchemy as though nothing had happened.
But there was no point protesting. Neminda was entirely right about how it looked to have a random outlander involved in all this.
Unless...
But before that formless idea could take shape, the door slammed open, the clang of it hitting the wall so loud and abrupt that Neminda snapped the quill she'd been fiddling with in half.
"Kinswoman Neminda!" the boy standing in the doorway gasped out. He was Dunmer, maybe twelve years old, clad in a red tunic with the Redoran clan emblem large on his chest, and had clearly made his way here at a sprint judging by how much that chest was heaving. "Councilor Sarethi! You are requested in the Council chambers at once!"
Sarethi fixed the boy with a stern look. "Ulnos, if this is Venim asking for another vote to dissolve Morvayn's seat, you can tell him-"
"No, milord. It's- it's Lady Morvayn! She's invoking the right of challenge for the Morvayn seat!"
I could hazard a guess as to what that meant: Councilor Morvayn's young widow had found some way of cutting short the power struggle we'd been discussing by seizing the seat herself. Since we were, in fact, talking about Redoran here, my assumption was that this involved some form of ritual combat, or possibly competition as to who could best flex their muscles or say the most brainless, mind-rotting things about honour. Whatever the "challenge" in question, I wished her luck. I might never have met the woman, but given that Morvayn's cultist murderer of a son had despised her I'd decided to like her on principle alone.
Judging by Sarethi's reaction, my guess couldn't be too far off. At the very least, whatever was happening must be important because he leapt up as though stung by a bee.
"She- she is? Praise be to Vivec- always said she's made of sterner stuff than most think- Neminda, Jamie with me-"
There was a great deal of flurry and bustling, then the door closed again, leaving me alone with Varvur. He was still sprawled on one of Neminda's chairs and had made no move to follow the others.
"You're not going with them?"
Varvur shrugged. "I wouldn't be of any use to Father there. The Council isn't particularly fond of me these days." My eyebrows rose at that, but before I could ask for more detail he changed the subject. "You can say it, you know."
Changed the subject and lost me somewhere along the way. "Say what?"
"Say that I'm an idiot. I know you've been thinking it."
For the first time that morning, Varvur raised his head to meet my gaze. I flinched at the agony in his eyes.
"I should've seen it. I have first-hand experience of those statues, I went to see Dathis afterwards, several times — thought I'd offer my condolences and a listening ear for our shared experiences." His face pulled into a grimace, as if the words tasted of ash and acid as they left his tongue. "I thought he was strangely unaffected, but I let myself believe it was because we'd caught him in time. I- I wanted to believe that he was like me, that there was finally someone among my peers who understood. I was a fool, and if I'd been the slightest bit more suspicious we could have caught him before… before." A deep, ragged inhale. "Go on. You've never shied away from it before. Tell me."
There were deep shadows under those despairing eyes, and Varvur was trembling faintly. For the first time since I'd met him, the man struck me as fragile. As though a single word from me could break him.
Maybe, the thought crossed my mind, I'd been a little unkind to him in the past.
In any case, there was really only one possible response I could give to that. "No."
Varvur's eyes widened in clear surprise. The discomfort building within me intensified at this evidence that he'd expected me to tear into him. Did I really come across as the sort of person who'd do that? Had I behaved like I would?
"It's not your fault," I went on. The need to show Varvur that he was wrong — in a completely different way to how he was usually wrong — gave strength to my words. "All you did was think better of him than he actually was. You'd gone through something terrible and you wanted to help someone you thought had been through the same. That's a good thing. You didn't believe he'd fake that, that he'd orchestrate it happening to others himself. You didn't kill anyone at Morvayn Manor. You tried to help the instant it started. This is all, entirely, on him."
It was a relief when Varvur straightened, as though an impossibly heavy load had been taken off his shoulders. "I… thank you. I wasn't-" He broke off, but I could fill the silence. Expecting you to be nice to me.
I hated bullies. Had I been one myself? Varvur had seemed so certain of himself and his opinions, hadn't seemed to care what I thought, but…
But Varvur wasn't finished.
"And… it's the same for you, you know. It's not your fault. You and Jamie got closer than anyone else to stopping him, and I can only imagine what sort of what ifs are going through your head right now. But it's like you said. You didn't kill anyone. He did."
The breath escaped my lungs as though I'd been punched in the stomach. I opened and closed my mouth soundlessly. My first instinct was to protest, but I had no air for speech and-
And he was right, wasn't he?
What had seemed to clear and obvious when I was thinking of Varvur felt far murkier applied to myself. But in the end, what I'd said was true for both of us. I couldn't find any argument why it shouldn't be.
Yasamsi's face floated before me again. I would always grieve for her and the future she'd lost. I would always wish I'd been a little faster, a little more suspicious. But…
…at the end of the day, I wasn't the one who'd killed her.
I managed an inhale, then a second. My body felt light, almost unmoored without the weight of guilt pressing me down. Finally, my breathing was stable enough for speech again.
"Thank you. I. I think I needed to hear that."
Varvur had been looking increasingly concerned, but at that his face relaxed and he gave me a nod.
"It's the least I can do. And just think about it this way."
If it hadn't been for months of thinking of Varvur as a hapless fool, the expression on his face would have made me take several steps back.
"Next time, we'll catch them."
Varvur and I sat in comfortable silence for a little longer, an event I would never have believed possible even a few days before. But soon after he excused himself, saying he wanted to look after some of the surviving Morvayn. I offered to come along, but it turned out that access to the field hospital area was granted only to members of Redoran and licensed healers. What exactly that was supposed to achieve given that the instigator of the attack had been Redoran I wasn't certain, but the guards didn't seem particularly inclined to listen to logical argument. And so I was left at loose ends, making my way back home with a half-formed idea buzzing around inside my head.
It was increasingly clear that from here on, it would be almost impossible for me to be involved in anything House Redoran did about the Sixth House. After all, I wasn't a member — and although Neminda and Athyn Sarethi had been willing to look past that for the sake of more manpower, it wouldn't fly among the wider House.
Unless…
But before that thought could take shape, I found myself standing stock-still in the entrance of my home, looking at the guest who'd let herself in while Jamie and I were gone.
The uninvited guest who did not have keys, but I didn't know why I'd expected that to stop Dralsi.
"Hey-"
"I brought food." Dralsi hefted a wrapped parcel and cut off my impending scolding about respecting other people's private space at the knees.
Breakfast had been long ago, and between a draining morning and not having eaten enough yesterday my stomach gave a loud rumble when the smell of roast nix-hound meat marinated in kreshweed oil with crushed fire petal met my nose.
All right. Dralsi had clearly gone to the good street vendor, the one across town near the silt strider platform who actually knew how spices worked. At this point I had to forgive her.
Over a lunch of nix skewers, saltrice dumplings and hackle-lo tea, the two of us revisited Morvayn Manor yet again. I was quietly thankful for the conversation I'd had with Varvur, unbelievable as that sentence sounded… but with the guilt still weighing me as it had this morning I didn't think I could have borne going over it another time, especially as Dralsi was not one of nature's reassuring presences. I didn't think it had even occurred to her to pay any attention to how I might feel about the whole thing; instead, she was completely occupied with working through possible consequences.
"Was this a test run," she pondered aloud, "or were the Morvayns specifically targeted? What's the next level of escalation we're looking at? And — of course — what's Cosades' game in this whole thing? Surely, if the Blades had been tipped off and they were trying to fight the Sixth House, they'd be addressing it through the Legion or actual agents, not…" She made a vague motion at the two of us. "Whatever it is they're running with us."
All excellent questions, but after talking them through for a while we were no closer to any answers, the only form of progress that the food had been reduced to empty skewers and crumbs. Dralsi drained her tea, then put the cup down, stood up and stretched.
"Sounds like we're going to have to hope Jamie can keep us in the loop, because all the leads I can think of are Redoran business now. Or maybe Cosades will let something slip." She sounded doubtful at that idea. "Anyway, kid, thanks for the hospitality but I'd better be going-"
"Actually," I interrupted her, "before you go, I wanted to ask you something."
With far less of my mind inaccessible or consumed by guilt over Morvayn Manor than this morning, I was slowly regaining the mental capacity to start thinking about other things. One thing, in particular. I'd been too wiped out to really process the conversation with Aengoth the Jeweler yesterday evening, but now the memory was floating back to the top of my mind… and taking on a very ominous shape as it did so.
Fact: Habasi wasn't the only guild member blackmailing me anymore.
Even worse fact: where Habasi had been polite enough to refrain from asking me for anything that would interfere with the life I'd built for myself, Aengoth had gone straight for the jugular by demanding I steal from the guild.
And, of course, the worst of all: if I followed suit, there'd be no reason for him to ever stop.
This, of course, had been true for Habasi as well. In fact, it was likely this was her next move in escalation, seeing how I took to another hand exerting a little more pressure to make me do things a little more outside my comfort zone. The more I gave way, the worse it would get. I'd simply not had the distance to see it clearly.
Until now. Although I felt miles better, something of last night's strange hollowed-out feeling was still with me. That allowed me to take the step back from the situation it had sorely needed... and realise that I'd let it go on for far too long already.
No. It was time for Habasi and her cronies to stop.
Which didn't mean just going up to Aengoth and telling him no, of course. I was, after all, still being blackmailed and not suicidal. But there were other ways of dealing with the situation that weren't just doing his bidding like a tame dog. Even if they were riskier than I'd like.
I'd spent too much time wool-gathering, because Dralsi was clearly growing impatient. "I haven't got all day, kid. Just ask what you're after, will you?"
I took a deep breath, like a diver before submersion. I really hoped this wasn't about to blow up in my face.
"Can you get me a meeting with the head of the Vvardenfell Thieves' Guild?"
Dralsi, it turned out, could.
(Dralsi hadn't even been particularly surprised that I was asking. This whole thing was truly sorely overdue.)
The headquarters of the Thieves' Guild were in Vivec — I briefly considered protesting the location, but somehow my aversion to the city now struck me as indescribably childish. In particular, the headquarters were in the Foreign Quarter, through a bookshop that I'd passed a number of times but never before entered out of loyalty to Jobasha. The Breton owner gave me an odd glance, but didn't protest as Dralsi and I made our way to the rear of the shop and a locked door. Dralsi silently withdrew a small key from the top of her boot to open it.
Within was a small, well-appointed study with a bed in one curtained-off section. At first glance it seemed like a dead end, but I was willing to bet my alembic that there was at least one back exit somewhere, seeing as no thief in their right mind would set up shop just asking for Ordinators to come bashing the door down. My money was on a trapdoor beneath the carpet, or perhaps that bookshelf opening into a hidden door.
Of more interest, of course, were the inhabitants.
There were two of them, but it took me some effort to realise that. The Redguard man wearing a fancy suit in Cyrodiil nobility style who was currently bent over what looked like a map on a side table had such a presence to him that the Dunmer across from him positively faded into the scenery in comparison. He reminded me of Lady Svarilde back in Windhelm, or even Azha, and the way they'd had of drawing your attention like a compass-needle seeking north. It was astonishing to think the man was a thief, a profession which I could say from personal experience benefited from people not paying attention to you.
And that was my time for letting my mind roam unchecked over, because the man had just looked up from the map and spotted us.
"Ah. Dralsi, of course. I was hoping you'd stop by again. And…" The man's eyes narrowed when he looked at me. "Adryn, yes? Former joint leader of the Windhelm guild. I'm Gentleman Jim, Master Thief of the Vvardenfell guild. I'd been hoping to have the chance to speak with you."
Of course he knew who I was. I'd wanted to believe otherwise, wanted to believe I'd escaped notice, but I had to face it: of all the words one could use to describe how I'd acted since arriving on Vvardenfell, subtle was not one of them. At the very latest I should have realised the head of the guild was almost certainly aware of my presence when Habasi confronted me. Any good leader would know what went on in their own house.
"A pleasure. I'm glad to assist you in any way you need." Despite the fact that lunch and its pot of hackle-lo wasn't long ago, my mouth was bone dry. My heart was beating loud enough I could hear it in my ears. This, I knew, could end very, very badly for me.
"How… neighbourly of you. Although I admit I'd have liked it more if the chance had come up earlier." Gentleman Jim's eyes were opaque and unreadable. The implication — the reproach — between his words grew in the silence. Fair enough. I really had been very rude by guild standards.
"I apologise." Starting this way couldn't possibly hurt. "I should have sought you out before this to discuss my presence on the island. I just…" I heaved a sigh. "I was hoping to permanently retire, you see, in such a way that what I did or didn't do would have no effect on your guild. But, ah. It turns out one of your underlings had a different idea."
Gentleman Jim hummed thoughtfully, his fingers absently tapping on the surface of the map. "Well. Can't say I don't understand the temptation. If I had the 'Thief-King of Skyrim' baying for my head, I'd also be considering a change of profession right quick. Of course… the same goes if I'd murdered my fellow guild leaders for the treasury and then run for it."
The shock of it took my breath away. For a moment I couldn't hear, couldn't see, my limbs frozen as though I'd been hit by a lightning rune.
Was that really the story they'd been putting out? Really?
When in truth-
Green light washing over me. Blood on my hands. Two limp bodies on the floor-
Not so long ago, that would have been it. I would have lost myself to the flashback. Might have blindly made a run for the door, like an animal in pain. But at this point I had spent half a year on Vvardenfell, and I was…
Not stronger. Not healed. But the pain was no longer so immediate, so crippling. I felt like a plant that had been knocked over by uncaring hands, still half-uprooted and bent out of shape but starting to grow back towards the sky despite that.
The world filtered back in. I had no idea what expression I'd been making, but judging by the way Gentleman Jim was studying me with narrowed eyes it must have been informative. He'd finally stood up straight from where he'd been crouched over the side-table. My chin rose when I met his gaze, not out of pride or defensiveness but because it turned out Gentleman Jim was really far too tall.
"Come. Sit."
A few minutes later found us both seated, him behind a desk — one that, between its bulk and the fact that it had been lacquered a deep black, did an very good job of looming ominously — me perched on a wooden chair drawn up before it. Dralsi and Gentleman Jim's companion had fallen back to lean against the wall to either side of the door like guards. It left me feeling rather like a prisoner who'd just been brought in for interrogation.
I decided not to think on how accurate that feeling might in fact be.
"We don't have much to do with the Skyrim guilds here in Vvardenfell," Gentleman Jim said. "More with the Gray Fox and his people in Cyrodiil, through the mainland guild in Deshaan. But there's no guild presence in the Velothi mountains, and Redoran comes down hard on organized crime. Makes it tough to get any business through to Skyrim."
I nodded. What he said aligned with my own experiences — Azura knew we hadn't been in contact with any guild in Morrowind — although I hadn't known that it had been the same for Riften, situated almost on the border as it was.
"So," the man continued, "when we start hearing rumours from the west — conflicting rumours — it makes it hard to know what's true and what's false. Whether or not you murdered people who trusted you for profit." I was expecting it this time, but the words still felt like a blow and I couldn't suppress a flinch. "Whether or not you killed anyone at all. What role the Thief-King plays in the whole thing. The letters he sent me made it sound like he was stepping in to take control of a failing guild out of the goodness of his heart."
All right. That was one step too far.
"That-"
"Of course, I wasn't born yesterday," Gentleman Jim cut me off. I wasn't going to lie — the easy way he dismissed that particular claim felt strangely comforting. "Not like I need eyes and ears in Skyrim to know that anyone who's styling himself a king is probably out searching for subjects, hmm? But still. Old Jobasha seems to think you're harmless, but me? I don't like making decisions without full information, Adryn."
He leaned forward, gaze not leaving me. His eyes were a brown that was almost black, so dark that it was hardly possible to tell where pupil ended and iris began. In that moment, they seemed to be the only real thing in the world.
"Do you." My mouth was a desert, my voice a croak. I tried again. "Do you want me to tell you what happened."
Gentleman was still looking at me, one finger stroking his chin. I felt pinned under his stare like a butterfly to a collection board. It was almost a physical relief when he finally looked away.
"Ah, but I've been rude, haven't I. Arantamo? Would you please bring our guest something to drink?"
The Dunmer moved from his position at the door. A moment later, he was passing me a glass of water. I took it with a nod and drained half of it without a moment of hesitation. If Gentleman Jim wanted to be rid of me at this point, he wouldn't need poison.
"Thank you." My voice sounded much better.
"No matter. Now, to get back to your question, Adryn… yes. I would very much like to hear about the whole thing from your point of view, along with the background." He frowned. "Honestly, I never understood how three teenagers came to lead a guild in the first place. Speaking as someone with professional experience in the matter, it seems pretty unlikely, and the stories that made it here are… unclear. If you'd start from the very beginning, that would be much appreciated."
"Right." My hands were trembling faintly, I realised. I forced them still with an effort of will. "From the beginning, then."
I opened my mouth and began.
Notes:
Content warning for death of numerous people, including one minor character, described in some detail.
Chapter 35: Chapter Thirty-Three
Notes:
Have taken the plunge and updated this work's warnings to Graphic Depictions of Violence. I honestly still don't think it's particularly graphic, but there is some violence in this chapter and I figure better safe than sorry!
Chapter Text
This is how to survive a Dragon Break: don't look back.
Mortals like us aren't made for them, after all. We expect time to continue in its well-worn path, each day following the one before in an orderly chain stretching from Mundus' first inhale to its last gasp. When that breaks — the past splintering, scattering, like shards of glass from a dropped vial — our minds cannot handle it. Trying to, forcing yourself to view the whole of it as once, is nothing short of opening a door to Sheogorath.
So: don't look back. Don't look forward, either. Focus on the moment, the single glittering shard of it. Focus on your body, firmly rooted in the present. Is it hungry? Look, over there is a blackberry bush, its fruit dark dots in the dappled forest light. Is it tired? The pine needles covering the forest floor promise a soft bed, the hollow here possible shelter in the crisp autumn air.
(Where is this forest? Why is it autumn? Those questions lead far too naturally into was this where I was before, when I was before — do not ask them.)
Here and now, in this fragment of a moment, I'd woken to find a boy pressed against my side.
Shooting upright with a shout was pure instinct which no one could fault me for. After all, he hadn't been there when I went-
(No.)
I'd been alone-
(No.)
I didn't know who he was! His face was unfamiliar, no name bubbled up in my mind when I saw him, meaning that he was a stranger! I'd learned rules for interacting with strangers, and not one included "sleep with them like you're a pile of puppies"!
The boy let out a groan. He levered himself upright, rubbing at his eyes, even as I scrambled backwards.
"What's got into you, Adryn? I was comfortable. "
He had a point. Some part of my mind said that waking up should mean cold, teeth chattering, hugging my thin blanket around myself trying to keep precious heat from escaping. But here and now, I was not shivering, no goosebumps marred my skin. Thanks, no doubt, to the phantom warmth of another body all along my side.
More importantly...
"Who are you? How do you know my name?"
The boy stared at me. Blinked once. Blinked twice.
"Seriously? You were the one who said-" He cut himself off abruptly with a wince. "I'm Charon. We're travelling together. Don't you remember?"
I stared back at him, eyes narrowed. Everything about the situation should communicate my no quite clearly, I figured. A verbal response shouldn't be necessary.
And didn't he know that remembering was a dangerous activity, these days?
Charon huffed, but some of the incredulity had left his face. "Well. We are. I don't..." Pain briefly flashed over his features. "I can't tell you the details, but it was your idea! It... feels like it was your idea, anyway." His voice trailed off.
I wanted to capitalise on that momentary loss of confidence, ask him whether he was sure, but that expression of pain had been familiar. I was pretty sure I'd felt it before from the inside... and that meant that this Charon knew very well how dangerous remembering was.
My breath was coming more evenly, my heart quieting so I could no longer hear it racing in my ears. As I slowly recovered from the shock of how I'd woken, I could take in this Charon as more than a threat.
He was a Redguard who looked a few years older than me, maybe thirteen or fourteen. His dusky brown skin was smudged with dirt and had an ashy undertone that couldn't be healthy, his clothes ripped and loose on his frame, his close-cropped curly dark hair matted and unwashed. He looked, in short, about as bad as I did.
Somewhere in my heart, sympathy sparked. Found fuel.
Travelling together, he'd said. It didn't sound familiar, but- but it wasn't like I could tell him that we hadn't been, not without remembering, not without looking back. And...
Was it a bad idea? I'd woken up warm, today. Maybe he had another blanket, or a better knife, or maybe he knew a fire spell for when I couldn't get sparks off my flint. Maybe he'd be fast enough to trap the squirrels that eluded me, or knew the trick to catching fish. Maybe...
Maybe he'd want to talk with me.
Don't look back, and yet even without remembering I knew from the fizzy delight that filled me at that thought that I'd spent far, far too long without talking to anyone.
"Travelling together?" My voice was hesitant. "How..." has that been going, I couldn't ask. "Is it good?"
And although Charon couldn't think back to compare any more than I could, his nod was decisive, confident. "It's better than being alone."
"All right," I said, then, "all right." The repetition was more to convince myself of what I was about to say than anything else. "It doesn't sound familiar at all. But..."
I stuck out a hand.
"I'll give it a try."
Charon's face was thin and tired and dirty, but his smile was blindingly bright when he took it.
Travelling with Charon was good. We both ate better than we would have alone, for one. He had a sling that he could use well enough to hunt the squirrels and small birds, while I foraged juniper berries and pholiolata mushrooms, dug for canis roots or climbed trees to steal eggs from pine thrush nests, all the edible bounty of the forest that Charon didn't recognise. He was from the Alik'r, he told me, and I didn't ask him how he'd come to be here.
Didn't mention the fact that there were more unfamiliar plants than there should be. I knew the flora of Daggerfall, I'd been learning it since forever, I even knew plants like the red-veined dragonthorn or nirnroot which were really really rare! There shouldn't be any plants I didn't know... much less this many.
(Didn't let myself draw the obvious conclusion.)
Our nights were warmer, as well. We had fires more often than I'd have managed alone, because although Charon didn't have a fire spell he was a better hand with the flint and had a knack for finding dry wood and tinder. And, of course, we curled up together at night, hiding from the chill of the air in a cocoon of ragged blankets. The feeling of Charon's body tucked against mine, the banked endless heat of his form, became familiar. My body whispered that it had once been far more used to shivering its way through sleep. For the sake of that warmth, I decided, I'd forgive Charon the way he kicked sometimes.
And, of course, I liked him.
I wasn't actually sure it was him specifically. In a lot of ways we didn't match well. He was quiet to my inability to be so, thoughtful and considered where I had a tendency to leap in head-first. Maybe if we'd have met in another situation, we wouldn't have gotten on at all. But it was just the two of us, and even without remembering I knew I'd been alone. It felt... good, to have someone to talk to, who'd laugh when I was trying to be funny or pretend to believe me when I was hiding that I was scared. Someone bigger and stronger than me at my side in the wilderness, someone with a sling and a dagger who was willing to shout to scare the bears away from both of us, someone who could keep me safe from the cold at night.
It reminded me a little of Fjaldir-
Fjaldir, who I'd seen-
Dying running shouting dying laughing fighting dying screaming dying-
I breathed in. Breathed out.
This is how to survive a Dragon Break: don't look back.
Then, in another shard of time-
A shout. Pain, cold air pressing in, the sound of someone scrambling back from me.
I grouchily blinked my way awake, one hand coming down to rub my side where I thought I could feel a bruise forming. If he was going to be like this, I'd sleep alone and deal with the cold. My ribs were more precious than my temperature and it felt like he'd kneed me in the side hard enough to crack them. "Was that r'lly necess'ry?"
With great reluctance, my eyes decided to join me in the waking world as well and so Charon began to take on form and shape. He was staring at me and he looked...
Scared?
My first reaction was to jerk around and look behind me. Charon was brave (this was one of the cornerstones of my world, now). Brave and fearless and if he was afraid, then-
But there was nothing behind me, and when I looked back at Charon his eyes were fixed on me directly.
Was he afraid of me?
"Charon?" My voice was small.
"Who are you? How do you know my name?"
This whole situation felt strangely familiar, though distorted. I didn't want to remember, and yet the image flashed through my mind — me wide-eyed and shaking with fear, Charon the one confused by my actions.
"I'm Adryn." I tried to keep my voice low and soothing. I'd never been very good at that, so I hoped Charon appreciated the attempt. "From Daggerfall. We've been travelling together."
"Travelling together?" Charon's brows drew together in suspicion. I tried to keep my face still, but it hurt having him look at me like that. "Doesn't sound familiar."
"Well... we have been. I'm sure we have."
As if drawn into existence by his, fear started to build in me. Charon was staring at me like I was a stranger, I didn't know how to convince him — not when I didn't understand myself how this whole thing had started without memory. What if I didn't manage to explain well enough?
What if he left ?
"But- but- no matter if we have been or not, it's a good idea, isn't it!" My voice was high-pitched with panic. "It's better being together! There's someone to talk to! It's easier to find food! Easier to scare away wild animals! Warmer! There are a lot of benefits to travelling with me! I-"
There were tears building in my eyes, like they'd help anything, like I was some kind of crybaby. I swiped them away angrily. "I don't want to be alone again and I don't think you want to either!"
Movement. A brown hand, making its way into the center of my field of vision.
"All right, all right — stop crying, will you? I'll give it a try."
Quickly, before he could change his mind, I spat on my hand and clasped his to seal the deal. The sensation of his palm on mine was... familiar.
Much, much later, when it was possible to remember again without pain if you were careful, Charon and I tried to piece the whole thing together. How had we actually met? Whose idea had our partnership been?
"There are interesting theological implications for how Akatosh works," Charon said. "As far as I can figure it out, we met each other at different times and both of us after the other, but since in both of the first meetings we were already travelling together- I wish I had some paper, I think we need diagrams-"
Several hours later, after we'd both given ourselves headaches, we decided to just claim it had been preordained by fate.
Later, we decided that the Dragon Break had ended smoothly, subtly, with a whisper rather than a bang. The landscape around us, hillsides sloping into mountains covered with scraggly juniper trees, grew steadily more familiar, the peaks that made up the horizons no longer shifting. The season, too, stayed firm at late summer — a relief, with the warmer nights and many plants ready for harvest. (I only realised much later how lucky we'd been that we hadn't stumbled into winter more often.) The two of us were still cautious, but all the trying in the world can't keep you from looking back eventually — and when we did, we realised that somehow, at some point, we had stumbled our way back into linear time.
It wasn't long after that realisation that we found the farm, and its farmer, and with it the two great shocks: that we were in Skyrim, and that we'd somehow lost two years.
That evening, huddled together beneath the stars, we conferred.
We'd stay together, of course. Neither of us bothered to say it, thinking it was so obvious it didn't need to be spoken aloud. After all, we were still alone in the world except for each other — and we didn't go through a Dragon Break together only to part now.
The question, therefore, became: where should we go?
There was, I decided, no point in trying to return to Daggerfall. Even if some of the things I'd seen — thought I'd seen — weren't true, even if they were still alive... it had been two years. It had been two years, and hadn't they been talking about leaving? We're almost there, I remembered hearing where I pressed my ear to the door-crack when they thought I'd gone to bed. We've almost solved it. Just a little longer, and then we can go home.
(Fjaldir had said he'd take me with him. I'd believed him. I'd had to believe him. But Fjaldir had said a lot of things.)
And without them, what was there for me in Daggerfall? The orphanage? They'd been happy to see the back of me when Fjaldir had said I'd stay with them from now on, furious after he'd found me locked out at night. And I was...
All right, so ages were unexpectedly difficult now, but I'd been eleven and I didn't think that had changed much in the Break. I wasn't any taller, the clothes I wore still fit me as well as before, even my hair didn't seem to have grown. I definitely wasn't thirteen — that was basically grown-up! But either way, I was reaching the age where the Sisters sent you out of the orphanage to make your own way. Charon even more so.
Charon felt similarly. Said he didn't want go back to the Alik'r, that there was nothing left for him there. Looking at his drawn face, the haunted look in his eyes, I suspected I wasn't the only one who'd seen terrible things happen to the people who were supposed to protect me.
Which left us to make our way in Skyrim.
"I hope it works out," I said. "That farmer didn't seem to like us much."
He'd told us where we were and what year it was — answers to questions odd enough one would think they would wake some curiosity. But the Nord's expression had been closed-off, hostile. He hadn't offered any help, not even so much as letting us sleep in the barn. His eyes, I couldn't help but notice, had jumped suspiciously from our ragged clothes to Charon's dark face to my own grey one.
"I know." Charon's lips twisted into a grimace. He'd been surprised at the way we'd been chased away, where I hadn't. He wasn't used to being unwanted, I thought. "I hope it'll be better in the city, that they'll be more familiar with foreigners."
"Here's hoping," I said, although I wasn't so sure. Daggerfall had been a city too, after all.
And it wasn't.
There were good things about Markarth. We had a roof over our heads. We no longer had to hunt or forage all our food (and looking back, I wondered about the Dragon Break, about the way I'd left it almost unchanged, because we hadn't been that good at either of those things and still, somehow, we hadn't starved). It was sometimes possible to find things like clothes or shoes, a whetstone for one's knife or bandages for an injury.
Yes, there were good things about Markarth. I had to remind myself of that fact daily.
Both of us had had money on us when time broke, but it ran out quicker than we'd hoped. We had to look for work, which was difficult as we were met with suspicion at every turn. Charon found a job as a runner in the mines — long hours of labour in the dark with dust invading his body with every breath. He'd cough at night in the Warrens while I ran through every lung-clearing potion I knew. Pointlessly. Too many of the plants were different here, and the alchemist had turned me away before I could even ask if she wanted an apprentice.
I bounced. Rag-picker, seamstress's help, message-runner, general dogsbody... none of them lasted long, leaving me all too often at beggar . People didn't like my skin, my accent, my mouthiness. I tried to do something about the accent, but the other two were beyond my power to change.
One day found me lurking near the market stalls at the city entrance, stomach growling. I was between jobs again, but sometimes the smith was willing to pay a few drakes for someone to help carry her wares (even if she gave my scrawny arms a dubious look every time), or the butcher needed someone to run deliveries because his son wasn't there...
A minor commotion at the gates made my head turn.
"-so sorry, didn't mean to imply-"
"I should hope not," a crisp voice rang out. It took me a moment to parse the words, because the accent was totally unfamiliar. "Seeing as I have been coming here for well over a century to visit my colleague, and never before been asked for an entry pass. "
The owner of the voice was...
My eyes widened.
He was a wizard, for one. It was impossible to miss. The richly decorated robes, thread gleaming with enchantment, the intricately carved staff, the glowing crystal topping it, the scroll-cases on his belt... it was as though some mischievous Daedra had taken what I imagined when I heard wizard and brought it into reality.
Except not quite, because my wizard template was definitely Altmer. This wizard, now, this wizard was a Dark Elf like me. Grey skin, red eyes — even his hair was the shade of mine, though threaded with silver.
For a moment, the impulse rose up in me, inexorable as the tides. To get up from my shadowed corner, run to him, and say...
Say what, Adryn?
Before I could make myself move, the wizard did. He turned, taking in the market. His eyes flicked over the stalls, onto the corner where I was sitting-
-and past, without stopping.
"I see your sad excuse for a market hasn't improved since I last visited, either." His voice was cutting, contemptuous. Did I ever sound like that? "As my time is precious and I would prefer not to have it wasted, I shall make my way to the keep now. I suggest you do not bother me further."
"O-of course not, Master-"
With a swish of his robes, the wizard left the stammering guard in the dust.
Unseen, unnoticed, I slumped into my corner. My desire to speak to the wizard was gone as suddenly as it had come. What did I expect, after all? That he'd be kind to me? That he'd help me, just because we looked alike? I hadn't met many other Dark Elves, but I should know by now that wasn't how the world worked. Probably he'd just have looked at me like all the others here did. Or worse.
My time is precious and I would prefer not to have it wasted-
My stomach twisted with hunger. I hadn't eaten since morning. The butcher's son was here, the smith already set up, all the other stall-owners who sometimes paid me for small tasks or pressed a few drakes into my hand busy staring at the wizard, whose dramatic exit was in the process of being slowed by the scroll-seller on the far end of the market.
The grocer who owned the stall next to me was similarly distracted. He'd never sent any coin my way. Where the smith or butcher looked at me with pity and guilt, his eyes always bore disgust, and he'd chase me away from his stall with a shout if he noticed me. He hadn't right now, though — fully occupied by the spectacle that was the wizard trying to rid himself of the scroll-seller, eyes well away from the end of his stall closest to me. It was stacked with potatoes and apples, and that one right there looked crisp, red and juicy-
Quick as a flash, I moved. Before my conscious mind could catch up, the apple was tucked into my shirt and I was weaving my way through the crowds towards the exit. My heart was in my throat, waiting for the shouts of Thief!, for the city guard to come after me.
They didn't come.
And when I found a hidden corner to devour my prize, it was delicious.
I told Charon about it in the evening. Not the wizard — I couldn't find the words for him, couldn't explain how that encounter had changed something, had sparked a flame that was still smouldering away within me. But the theft.
He was silent for a long time, long enough I started to feel afraid. I knew Charon was frustrated by my inability to find a job, by the way we were mostly both living off his income. I knew that this Frandar Hunding person he talked about a lot said stealing was wrong. What if this was the last straw?
"Are you angry?" I whispered.
A hand reached out to tousle my hair. I decided to allow it, even though I was probably almost thirteen now and definitely too old for head-pats.
"Yes, but not at you." Charon sighed. "At the world."
And that was how we started stealing.
It was just me to start, but then Charon grew to the point where he was too tall to be a runner but still too scrawny to be a miner, and the foreman sent him away. That was all right. Stealing was more lucrative, and like the Dragon Break it was easier with two. I was better at the actual act — the natural agility of the Lover-born acting to my advantage — but I had a tendency to draw suspicion. Maybe it was something in my attitude, or maybe it was that I was a Dark Elf. With two of us, one could be in charge of creating a distraction while the other went for the goods.
It didn't always work out perfectly, of course. One day, my hand was already touching the victim's purse when he started to turn. I froze, seeing disaster looming. I was too close to extricate myself without drawing attention, the guard was right there, Charon too far to intervene -
"Watch out!"
And then someone crashed right into him. In the resulting chaos of flailing limbs, I managed to withdraw without him noticing I was there.
"Watch where you're going, girl!" the man barked, red-faced, as he untangled himself.
"Sorry, so sorry, sir — I was in a hurry, my ma's ill and she needs these herbs-" my saviour babbled. She was a Nord girl around my age, doll-pretty with ash-blonde hair bound in long, ribboned braids, icy blue eyes and wearing a green wool dress with flowers embroidered at the hem that had somehow escaped being dirtied from her fall.
Not beggar's clothes, in other words, and her shoes — leather, looking to fit her feet well enough they must have come from a cobbler instead of scavenge — also said she came from money. The man must have realised the same, because his anger died down. "Well, I suppose it happens," he said gruffly. "Pay more attention next time."
"I will, I will- a thousand apologies, Stendarr guard you-" My saviour scrambled to her feet then curtsied, deep and low, the way I'd seen women do but doubted I could reproduce without falling over myself. Saving me must have been inadvertent, an accident, I decided, because she sure didn't look or act like the sort of person who'd have sympathy for a pickpocket.
Before I could follow up on that thought, a hand grabbed my arm. I spun, heart speeding up only to slow down again when I saw it was Charon.
"Adryn, are you all right?" He didn't wait for me to answer his whispered question. "Let's get out of here."
We escaped to a nearby alley to take stock.
"That was a close one. I thought you were a goner," Charon said. Sweat beaded his forehead despite the chill of the air. He looked as though he'd been more frightened by my brush with the law than I had. "Lucky that girl stumbled into him at just the right moment."
"Luck?" came a voice from the alley's entrance. "I don't know, I thought it was more like an act of charity."
The Nord girl strolled towards us, daintily picking her way past the puddles of mud and worse on the stone. With one hand, she was tossing and catching the purse I'd been after that had started the whole thing.
"Looking for this?"
And that was how we met Ingerte.
She was fairly close-lipped about her past, details such as what exactly a Nord with a Falkreath accent was doing in Markarth or how a girl whose clothes said she came from wealth was such an expert thief left as mysteries. Charon and I didn't mind, as it meant we could follow suit. Our pasts weren't secret, as such, but...
(This is how to survive a Dragon Break.)
Well, we'd fallen into the habit of not thinking about them all the same.
Despite her secrets, she hung around us as the days went on, joining us in the corner we defended in the Warrens (her fancy clothes out-of-place enough Charon and I were both worried she'd get mugged) or drifting to our sides in the marketplace. I tried to be suspicious, but failed quickly. She could have let me get arrested that first day if she'd wanted, nothing we had was worth stealing, and I thought I recognised the look in her eyes. I suspected it was much like the one that had been in mine, before Charon and I had found each other.
As far as I could tell, Ingerte was alone in the world. No father, no mother, no guardian in sight. Not even friends, as we were the only people she seemed to spend any time with. Little wonder she was lonely.
Charon held out for longer, but with time she won him over. It helped that Ingerte was a far better thief than the two of us put together, and unlike the details of her past she was more than willing to share her skills. Her explanations of pickpocketing technique and lockpicking and cons were in-depth enough that I suspected her hidden past included professional training.
One evening found us sitting on an outcropping in the cliff above Vlindrel Hall, staring up at the sky where the Mage was coming into dominance. My arms ached, but in a good way. We'd been eating better lately, allowing me to put on a little muscle. And Ingerte's tips for climbing had helped a lot, even if she'd muttered the whole time about awful Dwemer cities with no proper windows for burglars to enter.
She'd tried to hide it but I could tell she'd been anxious all evening, as though she was working herself up to something. As a result, it didn't come as a complete surprise when she cleared her throat.
"Have the two of you ever considered leaving Markarth?"
Charon and I looked at each other. I couldn't quite make out his expression in the moons' dim light, but I thought it was as blank as mine.
At the start, when we realised how hostile the place was, we had. But back then, we hadn't had the money for a wagon or caravan trip, and neither of us wanted to try making our way in the wilderness again. Then, as time went on, we got used to it, to the point where we hadn't even thought about the possibility of leaving even with more money coming in. Markarth was familiar, after all. We knew its nooks and crannies, the best rubbish dumps to scavenge, the guards' routes, the places one could hide unnoticed waiting for a fat purse to come wandering by. Why risk changing to someplace that could be even worse?
"Because, I... I was trying to reach my uncle, you see. He's in Windhelm. In- in the Thieves' Guild." Ingerte's voice was low when she said that, but her silhouette in the dark was straight-backed and proud. "There's a caravan that leaves next week. I spoke with the master, he'd be able to take three people, especially if we're willing to work." An inhale like a gasp. "Would. Would you like to come with me?"
I got the impression asking this question had taken a great deal of willpower.
Markarth was familiar, yes. And yet...
The smith never asked me to carry her wares anymore, even though I was bigger and stronger than when she'd started. The butcher looked at me with suspicion... as did the guards. We'd managed to avoid getting caught directly, but there had been one too many close calls. One day, I'd have my hand on someone's purse with no Ingerte to save me from discovery.
And, of course, I could become the richest person in the city, and yet to me Markarth would always be rags on my feet, Charon coughing at night, the alchemist shutting the door in my face. I could live here until I was five hundred and I'd still hate the place.
Charon had apparently been thinking along similar lines. "I wouldn't say no to a change of scenery," he said. "How about you, Adryn?"
"Same here. The caravan leaves next week, did you say?"
One week later, Markarth's heavy Dwemer doors clanged shut behind me for what I fervently hoped would be the last time. I didn't look back.
At first we couldn't find Ingerte's uncle. His house was dark and boarded up, the friend he'd apparently written of unwilling to talk to her, none of the meeting points her family had arranged in use. Ingerte, of course, didn't let this stop her. She asked around more, using her persona of wide-eyed innocent to the best advantage. Charon and I helped too. Finally, two weeks after the caravan arrived in Windhelm, we tracked him down.
For Ingerte's sake, I wished we hadn't.
The grave was tucked away in the far corner of the cemetery, marked with a plain headstone bearing only the inscription Jorleif . The earth was freshly turned, but barren. There were no flowers, no candles, no offerings — nothing for Ingerte's uncle to take with him into the afterlife, as I'd learned Nords believed.
Ingerte knelt before the grave, the girl so careful of her fancy dresses ( they're tools, don't you understand, you need to care for your tools) for once heedless of the dirt pressing into her shins. She dropped the bouquet of mountain flowers we'd gathered earlier in front of the headstone, then traced the inscription. Her face was drawn, her lips pressed together in a bloodless line.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
In truth, I wasn't sure she was really grieving him. Ingerte had spilled a few more details on the trip here, and it sounded as though she'd met this uncle rarely if ever, that he'd mainly kept in touch with her family through letters. Remembering her stay in Markarth, I suspected that she'd been uncertain of her welcome, her stranger-uncle the port of last resort after-
Ingerte hadn't said that anything had happened to her parents. She'd been silent as, well, the grave. But I could put the pieces together.
No, I didn't think Ingerte was really grieving him. But that didn't mean she wasn't grieving something, if only her last hope for someone who'd stretch out a helping hand.
Something in Ingerte's expression was setting, like a mask of ice drawn over her face. "I want," she said, each word sharp as a blade, "to know what happened to him."
It actually wasn't that difficult to find out.
Jorleif had been a guild member, Ingerte said (and, in truth, I suspected that this was one large reason she'd been seeking him out.) Up there in rank, fourth in the guild, last she'd heard.
Learning about the guild turned out to be easier than expected, when one thought about how the street gangs in Markarth had ignored Charon and me. Maybe it was because there was a proper guild here. Maybe that, with practice and Ingerte's advice, we were working like professional criminals in lieu of our fumbling amateur pick-pocketing to start. Maybe that Ingerte was a Nord. In any case, here in Windhelm people were willing to talk to us.
If only to warn us off.
"Best to stay clear of the whole thing," a boy perhaps a year or so younger than Charon told us. "They used to be good for the street kids, you know. Were good for me, taught me and gave me a place to sleep in exchange for a cut of the takings. But then Alois decided he wanted to be guild leader instead of Vidlund and it's been stabbings ever since."
To all appearances, Ingerte's uncle had been one victim among many of a civil war that had cracked the Windhelm Thieves' Guild cleanly in two. Smuggling routes were left without runners, burglaries called off, fences leaving town for the lack of goods as the guild members focused on each other. The whole thing was brutal, bloody and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.
Ingerte, I knew, was considering getting involved. It didn't matter that she hadn't really known her uncle. He'd still been hers, been a last hope taken away from her, and the fire in her eyes told me she wanted revenge.
Charon wanted nothing to do with any of it. I saw him looking at the snow-covered peaks (far closer here than they'd been in Markarth), speaking to the street kids who'd lost toes or fingers or whole feet to frostbite, searching Windhelm for better shelter than the little wind-sheltered space under an overhanging roof beside the city wall we'd found the second day. One time, he asked me about the plants that grew outside the city, frowned deeply when I explained that they were all robust, hardy things suited to frost and ice. "The winters here are much harsher," he said after I'd finished. "I don't like it at all."
As for me, I wanted to agree with Charon. Say that Windhelm had been a mistake, that we should run a burglary or two to make the coin to leave — return to Markarth, or maybe travel to Whiterun or Riften, or even leave Skyrim altogether. Seek out any place where you didn't feel the ghost of winter's chill even in Midyear.
But...
But I couldn't get the boy out of my mind, nor the street kids Charon had spoken to. If we were worried about the suffering winter would bring, they were ten times so. Without the help of the guild, without the sort of ability to bring in coin Charon, Ingerte and I had by now, what hope did they have to survive?
My mind went back to the adults in Markarth. The smith, the butcher, the grocer... the wizard. None of them had helped us, not truly. Charon and I had had to scrape out survival by ourselves, the smallest of coins begrudged us, nobody reaching out a hand to help. Sometimes, thinking about it filled me with such a smouldering rage that I felt like I'd spit fire if I tried to speak. Because what had we done to deserve that? Why had we had to scrabble and fight and starve?
This afternoon, I'd seen a Breton girl begging in the streets. She'd looked maybe a year or so younger than I'd been when I'd been caught up in the Dragon Break. Did she deserve that?
Of course not, no more than we had. And although I couldn't step back in time to help the Adryn who'd just arrived in Markarth... maybe I could help that girl.
Attempting to explain my idea to Charon and Ingerte could have gone better. The dark look on Charon's face made me stumble over my words, what seemed so clear and obvious and necessary in my mind turning hesitant and unsure when it met my tongue. Still, I thought something of how strongly I felt about this came through, and when I finished they looked at each other.
Ingerte shrugged. "I don't mind. Maybe one of them knows who killed Uncle Jorleif."
Charon pulled a face. Relief made me giddy, because I knew that face. It was Charon's I think this is a bad idea, but face. It was his face for admitting defeat.
"All right. I think this is a bad idea, but since you're set on it I'm willing to give it a try. But." He fixed both of us with his gaze. I did my best to look back steadily, suddenly very aware of how much older and taller he was than me. "If this doesn't work out — if the guild comes after us, or if we're still not secure by autumn — then we're leaving, and I don't want to hear a word of complaint about it. Agreed?"
What else could I do? I agreed.
But the whole thing worked much better than Charon expected. There were more street kids in Windhelm than in Markarth, many left in a lurch by the way the guild had turned away from them. They were glad for any help we could offer. Ingerte instructed them, the way she had Charon and me, and after hardly any time we had a small following of novice pickpockets, cutpurses and burglars. In a stroke of luck, I managed to scout an abandoned house in the slums with a trapdoor leading into a natural cave complex. If we took care not to let the guard notice our comings and goings, it'd make an excellent base, especially as years living in the Warrens meant we knew how to make such places habitable for winter. Charon coordinated, a task that seemed to involve a great deal of time with ledgers and counting coin.
From there, we expanded. Ingerte spoke with a fence who, so gossip had it, had been on the verge of leaving for Riften due to the state of the guild. I didn't know what she told him, but not only did he stay, he was willing to deal with us afterwards. I convinced a smuggler to move shipments our way. Another showed up on our doorstep, frightening Charon almost out of his wits. If he'd figured out what we were doing, what about the guild?
But the guild didn't seem to notice, so absorbed in its own problems that it didn't even notice the appearance of what was, effectively, a rival on its own ground. We heard whispers of more death, bodies with knife-wounds in the river, fresh graves alongside Ingerte's uncle's. Never of them wondering where the urchins who should be the next generation had gone. Never of eyes turning our way.
And so time passed. We didn't leave Windhelm that autumn, and both us and our street-rat following survived the winter. I grew taller. Ingerte did too, and — unlike me — grew in certain other areas as well. Charon gained as much height as both of us put together, towering over me by more than a head by the time he was through. Slowly, the whole thing began to seem almost stable. Charon no longer looked so dubious of what we were doing. Ingerte stopped talking about revenge for her uncle.
("Well, I still want it," she admitted one time. "But this works, doesn't it? Stealing their guild from under their nose without them noticing. Killing them in return... well, all that stabbing has made the shine wear off.")
We didn't leave Windhelm the next autumn, either.
I wasn't sure how long things would have continued like that, but then one morning in First Seed a man wearing armor and a guardsman's cloak caught my arm.
"Lady wants you," he grunted while I was frantically running through what could possibly have prompted this. "At the Black Boar."
The headquarters of the guild, in other words. That was...
...completely absurd.
If the law had taken notice of me, they'd be escorting me to jail, not guild headquarters. If the guild had, they certainly wouldn't be using guardsmen to hunt us down. Either option was possible and was something we worried about. The combination made no sense whatsoever.
" Now, Dark Elf."
Well. It looked like I wasn't being given the option to refuse. At least, I told myself, they only had me.
That hope didn't last long, as at the entrance to the Black Boar I was joined by Charon and Ingerte — each with their own guardsman escort. Both of them looked about as bewildered as I was.
Inside, our expressions changed.
For all that my life so far hadn't been unmarked by violence, I'd managed to avoid getting up close and personal with death. Anything I had seen during the Dragon Break, I'd seen from a distance. In Markarth, during winter, every now and then one of the other inhabitants of the Warrens wouldn't get up in the morning — but the miners would always remove them, me and Charon watching as the sad bundle of rags was taken to a pauper's grave. Here in Windhelm, we'd tried to keep as much space between us and the guild war as possible, the dead it produced never something we had to deal with up close.
Until now.
Blood pooled on the inn's floor, its spray marking the walls. We had to step over a body right at the entrance, another sprawled across the doorway to the inner chambers. A Bosmer, one side of her head caved in but the other whole enough that I could see she'd carried her hair in thin brown braids. Denoriell, the guild's treasurer, supporter of Vidlund. Just yesterday Charon had been complaining about how she'd started reaching out to some of the fences. Now she was dead.
The slaughter continued all the way inside until we reached a room none of us had seen before but which we'd all heard of — the inner sanctum of the guild, where guild-master Vidlund held court. Had held court. Given the eerie rag-doll stillness of his body where it was slumped on the floor, the emptiness of his staring eyes, I assumed those days had come to an end.
Nor would his rival Laurien Alois, the one who'd started the whole cursed war with his ambition to do the same, get his wish. Not judging by the fact that his corpse lay beside his enemy's.
"About time. I hate being kept waiting."
I heard Ingerte's breath escape her in a hiss.
At the far side of the room stood a massive, carved chair with definite throne aspirations. If I was to guess, Vidlund had sat there to preside over his dominion up until this morning. Now, it had been claimed by a heavy-set Nord woman. Her pale hair had been teased into a complicated, gravity-defying up-do glinting with jewels, although I noted that whoever was responsible hadn't bothered trying to disguise that it was more grey than blonde by now. Her dress was fancier than anything Ingerte owned, genuine Alinorean silk dyed a rich indigo and covered with web-fine embroidery. Her eyes, ringed with kohl, were a frozen pale blue. Looking at them felt like staring into a Morning Star blizzard.
It was. A contrast.
"Lady Svarilde," Ingerte murmured. I could hear her skirts rustle, an instant before her hand gripped my arm like a vice, tugging it downward.
Then the name registered. It should have done so earlier. Svarilde the Fair, mother of the Jarl, was after all a well-known figure in the city.
I hastily sank into a curtsy, one I suspected it wobbled a great deal more than Ingerte's, even as my mind raced. Nobility. Cursed nobility. What on Nirn had made her decide to get involved with our affairs?
"At least you have some manners," that cold voice spoke again, giving the impression that we had just managed to clear an exceedingly low bar. "Unlike the scum here before." She cast Alois a glance so filled with freezing contempt I'd almost expect it to kill on sight.
Except, of course, for the small fact that the object of her disdain was already dead. Handy, that.
I quickly reined my mind back in before it ended up hopelessly off track. Rather than spinning theories, it would probably be better for our chances of survival if I kept all my focus on current events.
"We... are glad we unworthy ones please you, milady."
And, briefly, thank the Nine that we had Ingerte, because if I had to do the talking in this situation we'd probably end the day with the hangman.
"'Please' is perhaps a stretch." Before we could freeze in terror, Lady Svarilde went on. "Still. I think you will do."
"Do for what?"
It was only after I heard the words floating in the air and felt the pain of Ingerte's elbow in my ribs that I realised I'd said that. "Milady," I added hastily, mentally berating myself. Hadn't I just told myself we should let Ingerte do the talking!
"My son, as my husband before him, would like to believe that he can wipe out crime in Windhelm entirely. I, of course, know better. Crime is an unavoidable fact of life, akin to... sewage, perhaps. If we try to suppress it entirely, it is likely to bubble up in places where it is neither expected nor desired. Best to let it run its course within bounds, instead. With, say, a guild — and guild leader — who keep such activity under control and know what will happen if it escapes their grasp."
Nobody looked at the dead bodies in the room. The air positively sizzled with the effort of so many people determinedly not looking.
"I thought the previous guild was aware of this. Apparently I was mistaken. Getting caught up in petty power struggles, murdering each other and leaving the bodies in public places, letting independents have free rein, allowing street urchins to freeze in winter — this is not what I desire."
Had I been afraid? I was sure I had. I could still feel that terror, distantly, at the edges of my mind. It appeared to have been pushed out by a burst of rage.
Allowing street urchins to freeze in winter.
As if it was the guild's responsibility? Here Lady Svarilde sat in silk and jewels, the rings on one of her hands worth more than what Charon and I had made in Markarth in a year , and she acted as if there was nothing at all she might do about it?
Yelling at her would almost certainly result in the rest of our lives being short and painful, but Nine if it wasn't tempting. I bit my tongue so hard I thought I tasted blood.
Unexpectedly, she looked straight at me. I was trying to keep my thoughts off my face, but this was not something I had, historically, been particularly good at, so I suspected she picked up on at least some of them. I was still trying to tamp down on the rage with the help of detailed imaginings of us facing the hangman's noose when she gave me a small nod. The events of the day had probably done permanent damage to my mind, because I thought I saw respect in the gesture.
"Regrettably, I am forced to admit that the guild has historically had some benefit in terms of providing for the unfortunates of Windhelm. I would like this not to be necessary, but my efforts in shifting responsibility to the palace have been... stymied." Her eyes flashed. "This is another reason why I believe a functioning guild is in the city's best interest." A pause. "And why, when the guild was no longer fulfilling its responsibilities, I decided to intervene."
That was the most euphemistic way to describe murdering everyone that I'd ever heard. It made me want to throw up. Or maybe that was just the stench of blood.
"I feel as if I was quite reasonable, really." Lady Svarilde's voice was calm, cool, almost meditative. That made it worse. "I gave him several chances. I understand that power struggles and betrayal may temporarily loosen one's grasp. But even with such forbearance, he was utterly unable to regain control. Matters were worsening by the day. What else was I supposed to do?" She shrugged.
I had some ideas, starting with not killing people and going on from there. But it was clear that the question was rhetorical.
Charon, it turned out, had been thinking on entirely different lines. "You want us to take his place."
The dull thud of impact, a gasp — if I was any guess, Ingerte had just elbowed him as well. But unlike me, he did not take her hint and follow up with a milady.
Thankfully, she didn't seem offended. "Precisely. You've done a good job with few resources so far. Your youth is less than ideal, but you are still the best candidates available. And I don't believe there will be challengers from within Windhelm in the next few years, as the consequences of such behaviour have now been spelled out."
She didn't say.
"We're... honoured by your trust in us, milady. We will do our best to live up to it."
Ordinarily, I'd have been annoyed at Ingerte for accepting something like this without talking to me and Charon first. This, of course, was not an ordinary circumstance. Among others, I was fairly sure refusal wasn't actually an option.
"See that you do." Those eyes would be more in place in the face of an ice wraith or Daedra, not a living person. "In particular, I suggest you do a better job than your predecessor."
And that was how we ended up leading the Windhelm Thieves' Guild.
"Thief-King," Ingerte repeated, rolling the words around in her mouth as though she thought they might taste better on the second attempt. Judging by her expression, if anything they had soured. "Well, someone has big dreams."
"It's the 'of Skyrim' part that's worrying me more," Charon said. "He could steal himself the Amulet of Kings and the Jagged Crown and I wouldn't care, as long as he kept his gaze to Riften."
The three of us were holed up in the back room of the Skeever's Nest, which had become our center of operations over time rather than the caves it sat on top of. We'd managed to acquire the erstwhile abandoned house and convert it to an inn six months after our meeting with Lady Svarilde. Close to the slums as it was, it didn't have many patrons and barely broke even, but that was fine. The important thing was that it made for a decent cover. As a bonus, it meant Charon, Ingerte and I had a comfortable place to confer, carefully mended cushions scattered around a wobbly table, a fire burning in the hearth, the inn's kitchen only a few doors away. After years of abandoned alleyways and the Warrens and the caverns beneath the city, this was a luxury.
Things had gone well for us in the three years since the death of the old guild, the three of us managing to merge what was left of them into the network we'd built up. It probably shouldn't be any surprise that, now that everything was running smoothly, we had scavengers at the door.
"No legendary artifacts that anyone's seen, but he definitely has Imperial aspirations from the sounds of it." Ingerte tapped at the sorry excuse for a letter we'd received. "There's five whole paragraphs on why the Skyrim guilds would be better off uniting into a single one, the way the Cyrodiil guild has."
"Including a tortured analogy to Potema Wolf-queen that, if you ask me, completely misunderstands her original aims-"
I was just opening my mouth asking Charon to explain, but Ingerte got there first. "Can we please focus?" she snapped. "You two can take apart his rhetoric after we've decided how to react to this."
Silence. Silence, in which both mine and Ingerte's eyes travelled to Charon, who — events had proved — was definitely the best strategist of us all.
"I wouldn't," our strategist said. "Not yet. Send a letter back telling him no, yes, but beyond that... he may have Riften under his thumb, but it's not going to be easy for him to make any headway in Windhelm." Some of our lieutenants were among the few survivors of Lady Svarilde's massacre. The others had seen the aftermath first-hand. Needless to say, interest in intrigue and backstabbing was at a historic low. "We're in a good defensive position. I say we wait and see what he tries, first."
At first, it seemed like the answer was nothing. Our response saying we'd rather stay an independent state, thanks, did not trigger a reply. The smugglers, fences and others in our network who occasionally had business in Riften ("spies," Ingerte said) also didn't report anything. I was on the verge of relaxing when it started.
It looked more like a run of bad luck than anything else. Information turning out to be wrong, guard patrols where none were expected, a supposed safety box containing bars of gold actually only holding iron ore. Shipments went mysteriously missing, suppliers suddenly declared they'd rather not work with us at all.
And, of course, the rumours. Although those were frankly more insulting than anything else.
"Why, Adryn, I didn't realise that you've been considering betraying us to the Jarl because you're jealous Charon left you for me."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I feel like we're getting a very unsettling insight into this guy's view of women, honestly." Seriously, Charon? Even if I were at all inclined to that sort of activity, I wouldn't be interested in doing it with him — he was like my brother! Judging by Ingerte's nauseated expression, she felt similarly. "Please don't tell me any of ours are buying this. We might have to kick them out of the guild for sheer stupidity."
"Not that one. But I'm a little concerned about the one where we somehow blackmailed Lady Svarilde into clearing out the old guild for us."
And that was the problem with the rumours. There were so many of them that by sheer chance alone our royal upstart had hit on some halfway plausible ones. I'd have hoped that the obvious nonsense, evidence of a smear campaign that it was, would make people more skeptical of the rest. Alas, if anything it seemed to have the opposite effect. I despaired for our guild's critical thinking skills.
"It's getting... a bit much, isn't it?" I said carefully.
Ingerte frowned, a rare expression on her. "It's annoying, but still manageable. But it's getting worse. And..."
And.
There was, of course, the other thing. Because as a matter of fact, we hadn't blackmailed Lady Svarilde. She'd killed off the old guild entirely on her own, out of frustration with its power struggle.
A power struggle much like the one brewing right now.
The door banged open, startling us both. Charon had clearly rushed in from outside, snowflakes melting on his fur hat in the warmth of the room. He looked as angry as I'd ever seen him.
"Pelantus is dead. Tsavila found his body in the river this morning. Stabbed."
The world slowed around me. Pelantus was one of the survivors from the old guild. We still didn't know how Lady Svarilde had decided who to spare, but my suspicion was that she'd had eyes and ears in the guild for a while, because most were people who'd tried to keep their heads down and simply survive. Pelantus was one such, an Imperial who'd joined not long before the war started and done his best to avoid getting involved. He'd been newly married, at the time, and had wanted to avoid doing anything that would leave his wife a widow. Their daughter was two, now.
Two years old and never going to see her father again. Because we'd decided to wait and see.
"Alduin's teeth, " Ingerte hissed. "Lady Svarilde is not going to be happy."
There was, of course, also that part of it. I scolded myself; my tendency towards altruism could be tolerated at times, but if I was letting myself get distracted from the fact that our lives were in danger I was definitely giving it too much free rein.
"All right," I said. "This has gone far enough. We need to make him stop."
"Well, that part goes without saying by now, but how? It's not like we're not trying to find his agents."
I shook my head. "We've been on the defensive too long. We need to actually hit back." A breath. "What do we actually know about this guy, anyway?"
And that was how we ended up burgling the Thief-King's lair in Riften.
Well, Charon and I took care of the actual burglary, while Ingerte (as the least conspicuous of all of us) poked around town. It was a lot less risky than we expected, too. Where the three of us were of the opinion that the leaders of the guild should also at least endeavour to be the most skilled, it seemed as though his Imperial Majesty, like any proper useless noble, thought that his underlings should be able to take care of such things. And so the protections on his rooms, as well as the lock on his safe, were certainly well-done but not the type of thing that could hold up to Charon and me working together. Never to mention that travelling away from his lair leaving it guarded by only two juniors — juniors too green to check their food for sleeping potions — was the act of a rank amateur.
And he thought he could rule Skyrim's underworld? He wished.
Charon hummed as we went through the contents of his desk. "I think we can do things with this. Details of his supply routes... he seems to be skimming off the emergency fund, not sure his people will like that..."
I frowned. Something in me had hoped we'd be able to find something that would make for a devastating blow, something to let us cripple him and his operations completely. What Charon was talking about would make for good weapons in the war, yes... but I was still hoping we could avoid a war.
I squinted at the drawer I'd been inspecting. It was empty, but there was something that bothered me about the join...
Aha.
The false bottom was well-made, thin enough and fit snugly enough into the drawer it might have escaped my notice if the court mage back in Windhelm hadn't been fond of exactly the same trick. Beneath it was a single sheet of parchment.
I read it. Read it again.
"Charon? Come look at this."
Maybe we'd be able to prevent the war after all.
Later that evening, the two of us met up with Ingerte to present our findings. All of us agreed that the letter I'd found was by far the most promising lead. "Ironic," Charon said. "Given that he was the one who started the rumours about blackmail. I hope he enjoys the shoe being on the other foot." The other documents we'd lifted were minor things in comparison. As for what Ingerte had dug up...
All right, so we'd known it'd be a long shot, simply poking around Riften to see what she'd find. To be completely honest, I'd expected Ingerte to come back empty-handed.
What I hadn't expected was for her to come back doing recruitment for a Daedric Prince.
"From what he said, the Nightingales used to be part of the Riften guild, but they split centuries ago. That guy doesn't know about them. And it sounded like a sweet deal. Luck — we could certainly do with some luck, if you ask me-"
I didn't actually know where to start. The mysterious he? The fact that last I checked, the Nightingale had been Jagar Tharn? The way we'd been doing just fine without Nocturnal's assistance so far? Or how about-
"More luck. At the cost of our souls? "
"Our afterlives, " Ingerte corrected, rolling her eyes as though I was being unreasonable. "And it sounds like an improvement, if anything. I think I'd be just a little out of place in Sovngarde, don't you think?"
"An improvement? You're talking about eternal servitude, Ingerte!" I realised my voice was approaching a shout — not ideal given that we were squatting in the attic of an empty house, having decided taking inn rooms would be too conspicuous. I lowered my volume, although the intensity remained. "To a Daedra, when you have no idea what they could ask of you! Please, just — think before acting for once-"
Ingerte's eyes flashed. "Well, that's rich coming from you, Adryn. I'm not sure you've thought before acting a day in your life, considering the Candlehearth Hall incident-"
" Stop ." Charon's voice cut through the brewing argument like a knife. His hand was a warm weight on my shoulder. Was he worried he needed to physically hold me back?
...was he right to worry?
If you'd asked me this morning what my reaction would be to one of us proposing we become Daedra worshippers, I'd probably (after having stared at you and checked your forehead for fever) have suggested confusion. Disbelief. Concern. For some reason, none of those were what was going through my mind. Instead, Ingerte's suggestion had sparked pure rage. It was still flowing through my veins like lava, making me want to scream, to hit something, to grab Ingerte and shake her while yelling-
( "Your failure paved the path for this. Are you willing to rectify it?"
A dark pair of eyes in a bearded face. "I have never understood the appeal of worship, old friend. They are more powerful, yes... but why should that mean they have your best interest in mind?"
You have no idea, no idea, what you are asking for-)
"I don't know what's gotten into either of you, but this is absolutely not the time for it," Charon went on. Every word helped quench my rage. "Ingerte, does this... offer... have a time limit?"
Ingerte's brow wrinkled. "Not really. He said he didn't have other candidates, right now. But the opportunity-"
"Right," Charon said, talking over her. (He'd never have interrupted anyone when we were younger. I had a terrible feeling I'd been a bad influence.) "That means there's no reason we have to decide now, especially as we have a plan that doesn't require Daedric intervention. I suggest we proceed with the blackmail and discuss theology later, at home. We'll still be able to return if we decide we want, or need, that level of assistance. Agreed?"
"Fine by me," I said.
Ingerte was silent for longer. The flickering candlelight threw shifting shadows across her face, making her look like a stranger.
" Ingerte, " Charon snapped. Authority was never clear-cut among the three of us but that was definitely his I am the eldest, do what I say voice.
"All right, all right! Since you two can't see an opportunity when it walks up to you and shakes your hand." Ingerte shook her head, and she was just Ingerte again, the illusion cast by the candlelight gone. "Let's go home and blackmail a king, shall we?"
And we did.
Looking back, I wished we'd talked more about the whole thing. Perhaps taken some of our lieutenants into our confidence. But we were distracted by the topic of the Nightingales, and — it had to be said — grown arrogant with our success. We didn't consider the possibility that, upon receiving the letter telling him what we'd stolen, what we were willing to make public if he didn't leave Windhelm alone, he might not quietly back off. That many animals were most dangerous when backed into a corner.
Would we have realised in time if we'd followed Ingerte's suggestion?
But we hadn't. When the attacks stopped, we patted ourselves on the back. Figured we'd solved the problem. Let our eyes turn from Riften.
And then, one spring day, a Breton mage showed up at our door with green light in her hands.
My voice trailed off.
Stumbling though it had been, I'd managed to talk about so many subjects I'd avoided for so long. The Dragon Break. Markarth. Lady Svarilde and the massacre of the old guild. But this next part was different. The mere idea of trying to recount what had happened — what I'd done — after that spell hit me left me shaking. I thought if I tried, I'd fall apart.
Thankfully, the Vvardenfell guild leader was clever enough to put the pieces together. "A Command spell, then." He sighed. "I'm very sorry."
Had anyone ever expressed sympathy for Charon and Ingerte's deaths?
I blinked away the tears. "I- don't really want to talk about what happened after. It's not important. I don't remember a lot of it." That was an understatement. Huge parts were blank. The journey to Imperial City was completely gone from my memory — it was only thanks to blurry memories of the city in question along with more detailed ones of the prison beneath it that I knew it must have occurred. And yet the one part that I desperately wished I could forget was horrifyingly clear. "Ended up here eventually. I was hoping to make a clean start of things, but... well." I gestured at my surroundings to indicate exactly how well that hadn't gone.
Gentleman Jim didn't react to that. "The thing I don't understand is why he's so eager to catch you, given that — if you'll pardon my bluntness — he won. It's not like you can launch a counterattack, at least."
I bared my teeth. The expression might, possibly, be confused for a smile. Perhaps if it was very dark and you were looking from far away. And were blind. "Oh, I can answer that one. It's because he can't find the letter we stole. Probably turned the guild upside down looking for it and everything. He figures I know where it is."
I didn't bother to say he figured correctly. No one in this room was stupid — they didn't need me to explain the obvious to them.
"Really now." Gentleman Jim's expression grew sharp, interest flaring in his eyes. "A man could be curious, hearing that. Especially as rumour has it the Riften lout's been reading history books. Getting inspired by the Nord occupation of Morrowind, if my sources have it right. I wouldn't mind seeing him toppled off his throne... and I'm guessing you'd like the sight even more."
I groaned. "Oh trust me, I'd like nothing better than to dance on his grave." Usually I limited myself to metaphorical graves, being disinclined to wish violence on others. In this case, I was willing to make an exception. "The problem is that I don't see a way of using it. He's already proven that he's not amenable to blackmail, and if I were to make it public there'd be... a lot more than just him caught in that explosion, let's just say. It'd even affect your business, if I'm any judge."
"Really? All the way in Morrowind?"
" Especially in Morrowind." I glanced around the room. There was Gentleman Jim, there was his lieutenant, another guild member had entered while I'd been speaking, Dralsi who'd been listening to this whole thing without a word...
Too many people by half.
"I'll tell you what it was. But just you. This is something I really don't want getting around."
Gentleman Jim gave me a considering look, as though trying to weigh my threat potential. The very obvious complete lack thereof must have satisfied him, because he beckoned me closer.
I leaned forward and whispered the words into his ear.
He was quiet and motionless as I retreated. It was only after I'd settled back into my seat that he shook his head. "Well. I have to hand it to you. I thought you'd be exaggerating, but... you're right. No way to use that bit of info without a big light-show. And making some enemies I really don't think you can afford. Or I can afford, for that matter."
I winced. I hadn't even thought of that angle, but of course he was right.
Goddess of twilight, the three of us really had ended up in over our heads, hadn't we?
"So, seeing as that particular road is closed to us, I have to ask." Gentleman Jim's eyes pinned me. "What do you want, Adryn once my equal in Windhelm? Because you want something. If you didn't, you'd never have sought me out."
I closed my eyes, trying to gather my scattered thoughts, tearing them away from my memories (from my regrets) with iron force of will.
"It wasn't my choice to come to Vvardenfell. I still don't fully understand how I ended up here. But I'm glad I did. It's let me make a fresh start of things, leave what happened in Skyrim behind me, retire from crime and try to make my living as an alchemist and mage. It was working great... until Habasi grabbed me. Retirement didn't seem to mean much to her."
I opened my eyes again, meeting Gentleman Jim's unreadable gaze with my own. "What do I want? Simple. I want to be left alone. I'm happy to tell you what I know about the Thief-King, I'd even be willing to tell you where to find that letter if you can think of a safe way to use it, and of course if you ever want potions I'll gladly sell at a discount, no questions asked. But I'm sick and tired of your underlings twisting my arm dragging me back into affairs I've tried to leave behind. I want you to make them stop."
"And what's in it for me?"
I could feel a muscle twitch in my cheek. "What's in it for you? Why not ask that question the other way around — what's in it for you to turn me in to Riften? It's not like he'll leave you alone because of it. What's in it for you to let people like Habasi blackmail me into running jobs? You've got people here completely voluntarily who'd be happy to take those on." I let my eyes flick towards Dralsi, who had — judging by her facial expressions — been forced to fight against all her impulses and natural inclinations to stay silent through this meeting. "Especially when if there's one thing I learned from all this, it's that blackmail has a tendency to backfire."
Gentleman Jim's eyes narrowed. I realised that that last sentence could potentially be taken as a threat, and hastily continued. "Look. I'm not going to pretend that there's some great reward I can give you in return for letting me be. But it's not like you gain anything by letting them continue, or as if it'd be difficult for you to call Habasi and Aengoth off."
And that was an arrow shot over his head. After all, he couldn't say that it would cost him something without admitting that he had a hard time controlling Habasi and Aengoth. Weakness, in other words, in a guild leader.
I hesitated. The last thing I had to say was risky. Possibly damning. A day ago, I wouldn't have dared, but too much had happened since then for me tolerate this situation going on any longer. No, it needed to end...
One way, or the other.
"And if you'd rather not? Then you might as well save us all some time and call the Thief-King down on me right now. Because I'm done playing Habasi's puppet."
The silence lengthened after I finished speaking. The longer no one said a word, the more the suspicion that I'd just doomed myself grew within me. Still, I couldn't bring myself to regret my ultimatum.
Finally, Gentleman Jim stirred.
"Very well."
I liked to imagine there was respect in those dark eyes. More importantly, far more importantly, that head was dipping in a nod.
"You make a good case for yourself. I'll agree to your request, on a few conditions."
"Conditions?"
"One," he ticked off on his fingers, "you'll need to make yourself scarce around Aengoth and Habasi for a while. Keep your head down, preferable stay away from their haunts completely while I drum the lesson home."
"I can do that." It'd be a bit awkward given that I lived in Ald'ruhn, but there were options.
"Two, if you ever decide to do anything with that letter, you let me know well in advance."
"Very understandable." And easy enough to keep, since I couldn't see a way I'd ever want to.
"Three... you'll owe me a favour."
That one was a little harder to swallow. A favour, open-ended, no limitations? Ingerte would be screaming at me that I was even considering agreeing.
But on the other hand, it was only fair, wasn't it? I'd even said there wasn't much for him to gain by doing this for me. That he'd be doing me a favour, in other words. Didn't one favour deserve another?
"I can promise it won't take the form of criminal activity," Gentleman Jim said. "As you've pointed out, I have people for that. Nor would I ask you to do something that would damage your current interests." Like Aengoth had, went unspoken.
Really, the question was — who would I rather be beholden to, Gentleman Jim or Habasi and Aengoth? Put that way, it was clear there was no choice here at all.
"All right," I told him. "I can agree to that."
Besides, I thought as we shook on it. What were the chances I'd ever be in a position where he'd want me to deliver on that promise?
Chapter 36: Chapter Thirty-Four
Notes:
This chapter also gets a warning for violence and death - click here for more spoilery details.
There is a flashback to Nerevar's death, which is recounted in detail.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Dralsi and I didn't speak a word as we left the guild headquarters and made our way through the maze of passages. Only once we'd reached the fresh air and the ramp to the upper levels did she turn to me.
"I have to go, I've got business to attend to in Vivec. Just..."
Puzzled by her hesitation, I wasn't expecting Dralsi's next move. The hug was sudden, firm, and so totally uncharacteristic that by the time I'd understood my personal space was being violated she'd already let go again and was clearly trying to look nonchalant, like she randomly hugged people all the time.
"See you in Ald'ruhn, kid," she said, and then was gone.
I didn't return to the Mages' Guild immediately. Nor did I go anywhere else. Instead, I just drifted to the balustrade at the edge of the canton. Let myself lean on it, stare at the sunlight reflecting off the waves below, and think.
This is how you survive a Dragon Break...
Somewhere inside me that starving, terrified, lonely girl still lived. And without my even realising, she'd driven a lot of the decisions I'd made. In particular, I hadn't ever consciously noticed how deeply I'd come to believe that I could not look back, could never look back, that looking back would break me.
Except that just now, I had. And remained whole.
Whole, but strangely empty. Somewhere, I knew, the pain was waiting. The grief, a yawning chasm of it, for my two dearest friends closer to me than any sibling, murdered for another's ambition with myself as the unwilling weapon. But right now my emotions seemed distant, unreal. Instead I felt light, as ready to blow away in the wind as the pennants on the bridge-pillars, as though the last few hours had scoured me hollow.
Within that emptiness, a thought grew.
If only I'd been willing to try earlier. To remember. To face what happened, what I'd been running from. I could have acted with so much more caution, been so much smarter about things. None of this would have been necessary, because Habasi would never have found me if I'd just kept my head down better.
By, for instance, changing my name. It wasn't as if I'd had any papers. That Census officer would never even have known. And then I'd have been just another Dunmer in Morrowind. No one would ever have asked any questions.
But no. I'd run from my past like an animal, unthinking. I hadn't looked back, and that had meant I couldn't learn from my mistakes, couldn't understand the shape of what chased me. I hadn't looked back, and that had crippled my ability to look forward . And in the end I'd blindly stumbled straight into the thing I'd been trying to avoid.
I was no longer eleven. The Dragon was whole. And this was one mistake which I would never make again. Come what may, I promised myself — next time I would face it head-on.
The voice of my nameless ancestor whispered in my ear, the way I'd heard him in dreams at Ghostgate.
Whenever you're ready to stop running, I'll be here.
"I am," I whispered, tasting the salt like tears in the air. "I am."
And that gave me one more stop to make here in Vivec.
"Here," I told the Daedra. "Take this longsword, that you may defend yourself."
Still gripped by strange clarity, the last pilgrimage had been easy. The shifting canal that had once stumped me seemed all too simple, the patterns clear to the eye. So too had I breezed through the puzzle at the end, the meaning behind the cryptic words jumping straight to my mind. Now, with this last interaction with the Daedra chained to the shrine, I would have completed all of the Seven Graces — would be able to become a lay member of the Temple, who had the right to request their kinfinding services.
The Daedra who, I realised, was looking at me oddly.
"What? Did I get the words wrong?"
It shook its head. "No. You're more polite than many of your ilk, mortal. However... are you well?"
I frowned. "I am." Better than I had been in a long time. I hadn't even realised what a constant cloud of fear I'd been living under until it was gone. I looked forward to experiencing life without it.
"Are you sure? Because I have never seen you like this before. Have never seen any mortal like this, like a spiddal stick about to pop. Are you leaving your larval stage?"
My complete, perfect clarity was marred by bemusement. I have never seen you like this before — what was it with Daedra and thinking they'd met me before? The one in Maar Gan had done the same, I remembered. Frightened me terribly by heaping dire warnings on my head... warnings meant, I was fairly sure, for someone else. At least this one wasn't telling me that the Temple was a danger to me.
"Whatever your lifecycle, I advise you leave at once, mortal. Spending time so close to Vivec is a terrible idea for you as is, but doing so in this state? Is this what you mortals call a 'death-wish'?"
And I'd spoken too soon, it seemed.
"I don't... I'm not... I'm fine! The Temple isn't after me, Vivec doesn't have any idea who I am, and I am not- about to pop. " The words squirmed as they left my tongue, and I felt the sudden urge to dig in my pack for my water-flask to wash the taste away. I didn't know what a spiddal stick even was, but something about that mental image was... unpleasant.
Concerning.
I sternly told myself that the Daedra was clearly mad. Just as the other one had been.
Unlike that one, this Daedra didn't get angry with me. It just kept staring. Its expression, being that of a creature completely alien to Mundus, was obviously unreadable. If I thought I saw pity on it, that must simply be me projecting mortal facial expressions where they did not belong.
"I think, mortal, that it would be wiser to wait before making such statements. Wait... oh..." I had the strangest feeling that although those alien eyes were boring into me, they were looking at something I couldn't see. "A day, perhaps. No more than two, if I am any judge."
I did not flee from the dremora. Definitely not. I wasn't the sort of person who ran from uncomfortable conversations. If I was walking rather quickly when I left the Puzzle Canal shrine, this was merely a coincidence unworthy of anyone's notice.
By the time I got back to the Mages' Guild, my emotions still hadn't returned to normal. But ever since my conversation with the Daedra there was something new. A humming tension in the hollow spaces, like a thunderstorm building on the horizon.
Are you leaving your larval stage?
I was not about to let myself be thrown off balance by a creature that thought Dunmer maturity involved chrysalises.
Even with that firm resolution, I couldn't get the thing's words out of my mind. It was distressing to the point that I was, unbelievably, relieved to see Trebonius when I entered the guild.
In fact, on laying eyes on him something had started nagging at me. Something important, something that had slipped my mind in the chaos of the last few days...
Trebonius frowned at me. "I hope you're hard at work, apprentice."
"Of course, sir! Going swimmingly!" I lied smoothly. Really, when was the last time I'd cracked open a book or journal about the Dwemer? Well, no need to admit that to Trebonius.
That niggling feeling was still there, and growing stronger. Something was odd about him. As though he were missing something-
Missing someone-
Tiram Gadar.
The memory hit me with force. The conversation I'd had in the tradehouse in Gnisis, before everything had gone to Oblivion. Discovering that apparently, Gadar had been off talking to Telvanni.
I was, I abruptly decided, really tired of not knowing what to do about the man.
"Actually, sir, I was hoping to be able to speak to your assistant? Tiram Gadar? I'd consulted him about some other research, you see, and I just now realised it might have some bearing on the matter of the Dwemer..."
Trebonius harrumphed loudly. "Good to see someone eager to get work done! Unfortunately, Tiram's not here today. Some business he had to see to for the guild in Sadrith Mora. Don't know the details — the whole point of having an assistant, you know. But he won't be back for several days."
Business in Sadrith Mora? Gadar was growing more suspicious by the minute.
I let my face fall in disappointment. "Ah, what a pity. I really wanted to get started on this while the idea was fresh." I guess I'll try again later, I was about to say, but something — the same impulse that had led me to Gentleman Jim — changed my mind. "Unless — if I could just get his notes from our conversation, that would help already. I don't suppose you know where he lives?"
This was not only a very specious argument for invading a guild member's private space, I also didn't have a key. Anyone over the age of four or so should have been asking some pointed questions. As such, it was hardly a surprise that Trebonius fell for it hook, line and sinker.
"Malven will, ask her. And since you're going there anyway, you can leave this note on his desk. Urgent task. Want him to get started on it the instant he gets back. This way I don't have to wait for him to go to the guild."
I felt a sudden, entirely unwanted urge of sympathy for Gadar.
Malven Romori, I knew from past experience, was in fact more intelligent than the average four-year-old. However, being able to tell her that the Archmage had given me a note for Gadar "to slip under his door, you know" made the whole thing significantly more plausible, and she only muttered something sour about work-life balance and the lack thereof before telling me the address.
Tiram Gadar lived in St Olms' canton, in a small room off the waistworks. In true Vivec fashion it took me at least an hour to find the place, but finally I was in front of the wooden door bearing the plaque Waist East Twelve. The corridor was clear, both visually and from Detection spell, and I'd noticed Ordinators didn't patrol as much in this area anyway. In short, it was time to get to work with my lockpicks.
Gadar's room was tiny, probably even smaller than Ajira's little house in Balmora, but well-furnished. Against one wall stood a sturdy bed with sheets of a finely-woven cotton in deep blue, against another a matching desk and chair of polished wood which looked like oak at first glance — ordinary enough in High Rock but expensive for Morrowind, where it would have to be imported. There was a well-equipped bookshelf beside the desk, and a glance in his closet showed an array of good-quality robes — wool or cotton with silk embroidery whose colours spoke of non-local dyes, belts with an intricate decorative pattern worked into the leather, and the various clasps, buckles and buttons were silver, not pewter.
Well, I thought as I stepped over the rich carpet. I didn't know what an assistant to the Archmage earned these days, but I was tentatively going to assume it probably wasn't enough to support the lifestyle on evidence here.
Now, where would Gadar leave something incriminating?
My eyes travelled to a little lockbox in plain sight on the desk. Surely not...
Except yes, it turned out that Gadar was, in fact, foolish enough to think that a blindingly obvious location with a lock was enough to keep important things safe from prying eyes. It wasn't even trapped! The lock wasn't terrible, true, but still not nearly enough to keep out a decently skilled thief. Needless to say, I had it open in no time at all.
It was almost enough to make me think he wasn't a spy... if, of course, it hadn't been for the contents of the box.
For one, there were very, very few innocent reasons to own quite so many encrypted letters. And any possible defense Gadar might have mustered — that cryptography was a passionate hobby of his, perhaps — crumbled due to the simple fact that he'd kept not only the encryption key but also a half-decrypted copy of the latest one with them. The mysterious A who'd been giving him orders would most likely have been most displeased about this fact, given that it turned deciphering them from an arduous, error-prone matter requiring special skills, time and no small dose of luck into something that took mere minutes.
As for me, I finally had the proof positive I'd been looking for. A short time with a piece of parchment and some of the other letters, and it was clear that Gadar had not only been reporting everything he learned through Trebonius to a third party, but had also taken instructions from that third party — instructions that often involved manipulating Trebonius and other guild members towards a certain course of action. True, it wasn't spelled out explicitly that the mysterious A was Telvanni, but they were clearly the prime suspects... never to mention that it didn't much matter what outside party was to blame. It was humiliating enough that we had Trebonius as our head of guild in the first place, having the Archmage's trusted right hand taking orders like "ensure he makes himself look incompetent and out of control in front of Duke Dren" was, in my opinion, beyond the pale.
Thankfully, I had the means to do something about it.
After a moment's thought, I made a copy of the encryption key, snagged two of the encrypted letters from towards the bottom of the pile, then put everything back in place where it had been when I'd entered. This way I had solid proof for Ranis, while if Gadar returned before she could take action he would hopefully not notice anything amiss. As my last move, I left Trebonius' note on the floor in the entrance, just where it might have landed upon being pushed under the door, then made my way out of the apartment and back towards the Foreign Canton with a spring in my step.
That had gone better than I'd hoped for. That had been downright easy, in fact, after weeks of going in circles. This whole being proactive and not running away from your problems thing absolutely had something to recommend it.
And if my feeling of triumph was marred by the memory of a dremora's eyes boring into mine just hours before, if beneath it the strange humming tension that had accompanied me ever since then seemed to have grown stronger-
Well, with what I'd just discovered it was easy enough to put out of my mind.
Sadly for my new resolution to stop procrastinating, seize bulls by their horns, et cetera et cetera, when I told Ranis that I'd uncovered the spy she fobbed me off.
"I'm busy with important guild matters and don't have time to spare on this right now, apprentice. Please come back first thing tomorrow morning so we can go over the matter together."
Right. Sure. It wasn't as if Gadar might be doing things damaging to guild interests right this very second, or anything.
But when I made that point, one of Ranis' eyebrows twitched upwards minutely. "Really? I can hardly think the matter urgent at this point. After all, you have taken long enough with it already that a single extra day will hardly matter, now will it?"
I left the guildhall with my tail between my legs.
Once back home, I cheered up again. Say what she might, Ranis had to know that this had been an absurd task to set an apprentice with absolutely no training in counter-espionage. The fact that I'd managed to uncover Gadar at all was honestly more due to luck and the man's own blunders than skill, and the fact that she was criticising me was quite honestly ridiculous.
As ridiculous as giving me the task in the first place.
Alone again, with nothing pressing drawing my attention and my mind freer than it had been since that terrible day in Windhelm, I could take a step back and look at the whole matter of the Mages' Guild and my tasks with a clear eye.
And, just as this morning, from a new perspective the conclusion was undeniable: enough was enough.
I'd give Ranis my evidence against Gadar, yes. I had no interest in having someone sabotage my guild either (Trebonius frankly did a good enough job of that already by himself, in my opinion). But after that, I would head to Sadrith Mora and speak with Skink-in-Trees'-Shade about what, exactly, Ranis had been using me for. One way or the other, I was done doing her dirty work.
And with the time that had been freed up...
I glanced at the door. It was getting late, and there was no sign of Jamie, nor any sign that she'd been here during the day. Whatever was going on in Redoran, it must be occupying her full attention. Perhaps it was political posturing... but perhaps they were past that and making plans for the Sixth House.
Plans, I realised, I absolutely wanted to be part of. I hadn't been quick enough this time, hadn't put the pieces together fast enough, and dozens of people had paid the price. But I was capable of learning from my mistakes. The next time something like this took place, I wanted to have a part in stopping it.
Maybe it would give Yasamsi's spirit, wherever she was now, some peace.
Yes, I decided. It was time to think past my knee-jerk reaction to the idea. Superficially Redoran might not be a good match for me, but I knew and liked a number of its members. Surely that would help make the House tolerable. And, for better or worse, it was now on the forefront of the fight against the Sixth House.
After Skink-in-Trees'-Shade, I might just pay a visit to Neminda and ask if that offer of membership was still open.
And after that-
My spiralling plans were interrupted by a jaw-breaking yawn.
All right. I supposed that was enough for one day.
Exhaustion hit so quickly and thoroughly I almost suspected something supernatural at work. But then again, I'd slept poorly the night before, and I'd had several very long and taxing days. If anything, the surprising thing was that I'd made it through this far — sheer nervous energy really can make up for a lot. It was just that the energy had very definitively run out all of a sudden.
Luckily, I'd made it home before the crash — otherwise I might just have found myself sleeping in the ash outside. But even with the exhaustion suddenly dragging at my limbs I managed to lever myself up, stumble my way out of the kitchen to my bedroom, and fall face-first onto the bed. I even managed to pull off my shoes, although changing into my nightgown was beyond me.
As I felt my consciousness leeching away into sleep, the Daedra's words flickered across my mind again.
You look ready to pop... give it a day, perhaps, no more than two...
"Shut up," I said to the empty air, turned on my side and was gone.
"Well," Sul's voice echoed in the sudden silence. "That was unexpected."
I blinked. Blinked again. Just a few seconds ago, the cavern had been filled with bodies, armoured Dwemer pushing back against our forces. Dumac had been right there — his sword still lay on the ground before me, his blood dark on the ground beneath it.
His sword, his blood, but not their owner. Between one moment and the next, he'd vanished. Him and, from the looks of it, every Dwemer in the cavern.
"What-" My voice was a rasp. I cleared my throat. "What happened?"
"Maybe it's a trick of theirs," Almalexia said from behind me. "Move their forces back, catch us off our guard."
I didn't think so. It wasn't in line with any Dwemer tactics I was familiar with, and I hadn't seen any of the hallmarks of a teleportation spell in action. Still, it wasn't as if I had any better explanation.
"Advance, but slowly," I ordered. "Be ready for ambushes."
But there were no ambushes. There were no Dwemer. Not in this entry cavern, not anywhere in the fortress they'd built on Red Mountain. Not, we learned when a scout ran in, anywhere outside, either. The flanking army I'd been so concerned about had indeed shown up... only to vanish before they were in striking distance.
Finally, in the very heart of the mountain, we found what I'd already suspected we would.
A great brass statue, glowing with power, its heart so bright I dared not look at it directly. Several tools scattered in front of it — a hammer, a blade, a gauntlet — all so strongly enchanted their aura would have overwhelmed all else if not for the statue. A book open on a pedestal.
We'd been too late. Kagrenac had achieved whatever blasphemy he'd been after.
Shamefully, my first reaction was relief. Shameful, because I shouldn't be. This had been what we'd set out to stop, this terrible overreach, this hideous experiment with powers never meant to be touched by the likes of us. And yet-
And yet my first thought was, maybe Dumac survived.
We'd known, for so long, that one day we might have to kill each other. But as the centuries wore on, as our uneasy alliance stretched longer and longer, I'd let myself believe that maybe we could continue like this. Believe that our peace would last our lifetime. Allowed myself to let down my guard.
My marriage had turned from promise to farce, and yet I'd never felt my heart break the way it had when I'd seen Dumac today. Armoured. Armed. At the head of his people.
I'd begged him to let us pass. To give up their experiments, melt down whatever terrible thing Kagrenac had created. We could still return from this.
Dumac had shaken his head. "You know I can't do that, Nerevar." His voice had been sad. There'd been an apology in those dark eyes.
He'd been furious the last time I'd seen him, two months before. (Had it really only been two months? It felt like I'd aged a century in the intervening span.) We'd argued, more bitterly than ever before. I'd been willing to bet my soul that Dumac had known nothing of Kagrenac's experiments then, that he'd taken my accusation as a deep insult.
I'd never felt worse about being right about something in my life than when I was standing before Dumac as an enemy, knowing that his duty to his people would not allow him to let me pass and my duty to mine kept me from retreat.
I didn't know how I'd won the fight. In our spars before, Dumac had always had the edge thanks to strength and bulk. Perhaps that last flame of anger — why didn't you listen to me, you could have stopped this — had given me the extra push I'd been missing. Perhaps guilt had slowed him. Perhaps, at the end of the day, it had simply been luck.
Regardless, my spear had found the gap in his armour where the torso joined the greaves. A weakness I'd once covered for when we fought side-by-side, that I'd sometimes managed to hit in spars. Back then, my blunt wooden practice weapon would leave no more than a bruise. Dumac would yield good-naturedly, clap me on my back and congratulate me on my win.
This time, the razor-sharp edge had carved deep into the flesh beneath. Dumac's air had left him in a gasp, blood bubbling on his lips, his sword falling from his hands. For a long, terrible moment, all I knew was that I was about to watch my oldest friend die, killed by my hand.
And then, between one beat and the next, he'd vanished.
We still didn't know what, exactly, Kagrenac had been planning. One rumour had been worse than the next. And yet- if he'd somehow brought the Dwemer to safety, if he'd saved Dumac, I'd have a hard time condemning him.
I cast a glance around, almost expecting the Dwemer to reappear out of wherever Kagrenac had sent them, a magically healed Dumac at their front with his sword back in hand.
(I'd drop my spear at his feet, if he did, I realised. Fighting him once had already almost broken me. There was no way I could repeat it.)
Nothing. The cavern remained empty. The only sound was a low hum that had emanated from the brass monstrosity since we'd entered, and Sil muttering to himself as he read through Kagrenac's notes.
"Nerevar," he called out now, "come look at this, will you? I want to make sure I'm reading it right."
Most people would probably have struggled with the document. I, however, had not just done my own research on the different planes of existence, I'd also worked closely with Kagrenac in the past. It didn't take me long to understand what the man had been trying to do.
What he'd done.
My hopes had likely been realised. Kagrenac's working had stolen Dumac as he lay on the cusp of death, and where they had gone even the most lethal wound was inconsequential. The timing would have been tight, but... my old friend might very well have survived.
If one could call what Kagrenac had done to his people survival.
"Send out messengers. Tell our forces to stand down. There's no need to be on alert for an ambush."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vivec frown. "So they're definitely gone? Not hiding somewhere?"
"They're gone," I confirmed.
I didn't bother to explain exactly what I meant by those words, the implications Vivec was unlikely to have intended. The very final nature of gone. The all too expansive definition of they. Some small childish part of me didn't want to say it out loud yet, as if by keeping silent for a little longer I could somehow make the world take it back.
They were gone. Nobody on Mundus would ever see a Dwemer again.
A creaking noise. My eyes jerked up to the thing they'd used to leave this world, the thing they'd left behind.
An artificial brass god bearing Lorkhan's heart, the tool the Dwemer used to transcend. A being so blasphemous I could feel Azura's ring heat on my finger just looking at it.
Perhaps I should delay my concerns for the Dwemer race as a whole until after we'd dealt with this.
As it happened, all the others agreed that we desperately needed to do something about the Heart of Lorkhan.
The thing we disagreed about was what.
"-opens up an incredible amount of opportunities," Sil was saying.
Almalexia frowned at her lover. "What, like wiping our entire race from Mundus?"
(When I'd seen the gleam in Sil's eyes, I'd decided to explain exactly how far-reaching the effects of Kagrenac's work were. I'd hoped this would have a subduing effect. Alas, although Almalexia had become more cautious after, it seemed to have only spurred Sil on.)
"Obviously we wouldn't just repeat what Kagrenac did, what do you take me for. But he was after transcendence, for the Dwemer as a whole. Empowerment of individuals would be far simpler to achieve, without the... negative side-effects."
The entire citadel being wiped clean of Dwemer — our entire plane of existence, in fact — had been relegated to a 'negative side-effect'. Sometimes I really wondered about Sil's world-view.
"Empowerment of individuals, you say?" Vivec sounded thoughtful. This was a very bad sign, if you asked me. Chaos usually followed that particular tone of voice, and if there was one thing this situation didn't need it was chaos.
Besides...
"Have we forgotten the blasphemy part of all this?" I demanded. "Azura was very clear when we consulted her. She wanted us to destroy Numidium and the Heart, not take it as our own!" I gave the group my best quelling look. I couldn't believe I needed to spell this out.
Alas for my future as a stern disciplinarian, my advisors remained unquelled. Only Voryn, who'd stopped at the cavern entrance as though concerned its contents would jump out to bite him, looked as though this argument gave him the slightest pause. Sil, still leafing through Kagrenac's notes, simply shook his head.
"Are we sure? After all, the Dwemer were doing something entirely different. Of course attempting to transcend out of Mundus entirely would be blasphemy. But if we simply... adjust our mortal limitations a little? Boethiah's teachings are that we must always strive to improve, always better ourselves in this world of trials. Would this not be simply a matter of using the tools at hand?"
I didn't believe a word of what he said. I wasn't even certain Sil did — Sil, who had always had a little too much sympathy for the Dwemer's atheism for my tastes. Unfortunately, however, judging by the expression on her face Almalexia found this argument thought-provoking.
"That... makes sense."
"And we could use the power to protect the Chimer people," Vivec added. "It isn't as though we'd be acting out of selfishness."
I felt very distinctly as though I were attempting to steer one of the Dwemer's war machines, except that all the levers were mislabelled and there was no brake. There had to be some way to get the situation under control again — to make the three of them see reason.
And then I had an idea.
"All right, if you're so certain Azura would see this differently, why don't we ask her? We should have the material to perform the summoning ritual again. If she agrees it's all right, I won't stand in your way. If she doesn't, we destroy everything here," I swept a hand out to indicate Numidium, the Heart, and Kagrenac's work, "and I don't want to hear another word about the thing."
Sil's eyes flashed. A muscle twitched in his cheek. For a moment, I thought I saw magicka flare in his hand.
As I thought. He didn't actually believe our gods would be all right with this plan, his argument trickery with words instead of anything backed by real belief. I glared back at him.
"An excellent idea, Nerevar," Vivec broke through the tension building between the two of us. "Let us prepare as soon as possible, so we may have clarity. But — we shouldn't leave the Heart unguarded, should we?"
Vivec's smile was sunlight on still water, blinding in its brightness while obscuring all hint of the depths below. I misliked it about as much as Sil's scowl.
All the same, there was nothing in his words I disagreed with.
"You're right. Ah..."
I looked at my companions. Much as I'd have liked to convince myself the greed I thought I saw on too many of their faces was my imagination, I didn't think this was the time to take such risks. I'd have asked Alandro Sul, but he'd left to manage the rest of the army. As such, there was really only one option for guard.
"Voryn. Would you?"
The pause stretched. In every moment of the lengthening silence I could hear exactly how much Voryn hated what I was asking of him.
"...For you," he finally said. "Only for you, Nerevar. But-"
"We'll leave you two to sort out the details, then, shall we?" Vivec sang out. "While Sil, Almalexia and I get the ritual set up."
"Vivec- "
Vivec ignored Sil's bark, gliding past Voryn to leave the cavern. For a moment, I didn't think Sil would follow, but when Almalexia bent to whisper something in his ear he sighed and tore himself away from Kagrenac's work. "Fine, then! But this had better not take us too long."
And then it was just me and Voryn.
"I don't like this, Nerevar. I don't like it at all. That thing-" he jerked his head towards the heart, giving it a look better suited to a poisonous viper, "none of us should be near it."
"I'm completely with you on that, old friend," I agreed with a sigh. "But I can't simply ignore what Vivec, Almalexia and Sil say, otherwise what's the point of even having them?"
"Why not, when they're wrong- " Voryn cut himself off. "Well. I won't try to convince you now. What's done is done."
"Will you be all right?" I asked him, suddenly hesitant to leave him here alone, the bad feeling I'd had ever since Sil had looked up from Kagrenac's notes and said actually, we could use this strengthening. "I could..."
"Don't worry so," Voryn scolded me, bringing me momentarily back to the long-ago days where I was a fresh, untried clan leader and he my elder. "You go deal with whatever mischief Vivec is plotting. I'll be all right for a few hours." His smile was ugly, a gash in his face. "I promise I won't let anyone get their hands on that abomination. I'd use it myself first." His shudder at the thought was visible.
"All right." I stopped on my way out of the room to reach up and rest a hand on Voryn's pauldron. "Take care. I'll be back as soon as I can."
As I turned my back on Voryn and the Heart, the bad feeling intensified even more, my stomach squirming with it. For a moment, I was tempted to turn, go back in, and do-
What? Destroy the Heart and tools with my advisors handily out of the way? No one would ever have faith in me again after such an act.
I could trust Voryn, I told myself again. His terror and disgust at what had greeted us in the cavern had been unfeigned.
And yet my heart was strangely heavy as I left him behind.
I meant to make my way to the tent they'd have set up for the summoning rite without delay. Unfortunately, meaning to only goes so far. First one general accosted me demanding to know what our defensive plans were (defensive plans? Given that the entire enemy force had vanished into thin air several hours ago, who was he planning to defend against? Was he expecting a Nord army to show up out of nowhere?), then a quartermaster grabbed me to vent about supply chain problems, and on it went. By the time I'd managed to shake everyone off and catch up with Vivec, Almalexia and Sil, enough time had passed that I worried we'd miss Azura's holy hour.
"Sorry I'm late," I panted when I barged into the ritual tent just before twilight.
Three pairs of eyes came to rest on me. The dim lighting in the tent reflected strangely off them, making the irises almost glow while the faces they were set in were unreadable, half-cast into shadow.
"No matter," Vivec said. "The three of us handled the preparations. Shall we begin?"
My stomach squirmed.
Perhaps, when I was young, I wouldn't have noticed. But I had centuries to my name now, and they had left me far less naive than I'd once been. The sudden exit, leaving me and Voryn — the only two fundamentally against using Kagrenac's work — behind, the parade of people who'd suddenly found themselves needing my help... no. Vivec was planning something.
The question was just what.
My guess was that he'd sabotaged the ritual, somehow. Make it so Azura would not appear, then try to convince me this was a sign. That Azura wanted us to take what we needed, use Kagrenac's blasphemy to strengthen ourselves.
Well, let him try. I'd been leading the rituals for Azura since I was barely more than a child. I was confident I'd be able to pick up on anything like that.
"Yes. Let's."
But everything seemed perfect as we started. The candles were in the right places, the motions were all correct, the chant was correct...
I squinted into the room, trying to find what Vivec had changed. It was difficult. The dim light made my eyes water, my sight blur. I almost had to reach out to steady myself when a surge of dizziness seized me. I supposed the very lengthy, painful day was getting to me. That might also explain the dull throb at my temples.
What it didn't explain was why I felt so cold, goosebumps erupting on my skin, brushing against the harsh cloth of the ritual robe. There had been warming runes set, hadn't there? I knew I'd seen their dim red glow, was willing to swear the tent had been a perfectly comfortable temperature when I entered.
Vivec's voice grew quieter in my ears, drowned out a steady pulsating sound. My heartbeat, I realised dimly, loud enough to hear and gaining speed. It distracted me so much I almost didn't notice-
Vivec's chant was wrong.
I snapped my eyes open (when had I closed them?). The room was a sickening swirl, Vivec and Sotha Sil's figures blurring where they crouched above the candle flames-
The candles. In the right places, the right shapes, the wax the right colour... and yet. And yet their flames burned greenish. Their smoke stung my nose, acrid and biting and-
Poison.
I tried to say it, but my voice was gone. My voice was gone because my breath was coming in sharp pants, my throat closing up as my heart raced in my ears, as black edged my vision-
Vivec and Sil's eyes gleamed in the poisoned light, beasts circling their prey.
Vivec. And Sil.
Where was Almalexia?
She-
Pain. Pain, in my back, lancing — stabbing — between my ribs towards my heart. My next exhale came gurgling, iron heavy on my tongue.
Except that the pain was fading, the taste was fading, even the racing beat of my heart in my ears slowing, faltering...
Darkness.
And then I snapped back into awareness.
They'd-
They'd tried to kill me.
So much for my experience, so much for more caution. I'd thought myself so clever, ready for anything Vivec might try. But I'd been expecting misdirection, trickery and lies, but nothing that would cause me actual harm.
Why would I have? Sil was my oldest friend, Vivec someone I'd known since his boyhood — a child I'd saved from the streets myself — Almalexia my wife. Even if our marriage had been strained at best, I'd still thought that meant something. Still thought I could rely on all three of them, that we might disagree in the details but were nevertheless all on the same side. I'd never imagined I'd need to fear backstab.
Literally, in Almalexia's case.
I-
I was...
I was angry, wasn't I? Such a betrayal by three of the people I trusted most should have left me incandescent with fury. And I could feel the edges of the emotion, but strangely... distant, unreal.
It was, I realised, because there was something missing. Anger meant my blood pumping and heat rising in my face and my breath coming faster, my muscles tensing as my fingers twitched into fists. Now, there was none of that. I was angrier than I'd been in my life, but I couldn't feel that because my body didn't reflect it.
Because, the realisation settled on me, I didn't have one anymore.
Tried to kill me? They had killed me.
On the heels of my realisation, the world around me changed.
I'd been, for lack of a better way to describe it, floating in emptiness. A place, perhaps, to react to my death, to try to regain my strength so I could return to Mundus as an ancestor spirit to watch over my clan.
I was still there. But I was no longer alone.
Azura's presence had driven me to my knees in the first summoning ritual, and back then I had not only been protected by the barrier of a physical body but also been subjected to only a sliver of her attention. Now — a mere soul in nothingness, faced with her vast, unobscured glory — I had a moment's fear that I would simply dissolve before her, like a snowflake thrown into a volcano.
"You have failed me."
The voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once. It sounded young and old, male and female, like all the Chimer tribes and none, as though a hundred people were all speaking layered over each other.
And yet, in that multitude, there was a commonality. The voice was most definitely angry.
And unlike me, I didn't think Azura's lack of physical body was giving her any pause.
"You were to stop the Dwemer's blasphemy from spreading further. Stop the others from making themselves into false gods and drawing my people's eyes away from me. And yet there are now four bearing Lorkhan's poison walking Mundus."
"I'm sorry." I didn't know how I was speaking, how I was managing to give the impression of kneeling before my god, given that I was a bodiless soul. All things told, this was not the time to investigate. "I tried to stop them, they just- wait."
Something about that statement had very much not been what I was expecting.
"You said... four? "
"Dagoth Voryn, Sotha Sil, Almalexia, Vivec. Dagoth Voryn received the greatest share of the power, and least controlled."
Voryn.
I silently cursed my bodiless state. The fact that I wasn't capable of crying right now was downright cruel and unfair.
He'd hated everything we'd heard of what the Dwemer were doing even more than I, had been so obviously repulsed and terrified by everything we'd found in that cavern. It was what had made him the perfect guard, knowing that no matter what power Kagrenac's writings promised he would not be tempted.
And yet...
And yet I could imagine it so easily. Vivec, Almalexia and Sil returning to claim their prize, perhaps still with traces of my blood on their hands. Voryn wasn't stupid — and, unlike me, he'd never been particularly close with any of the other three, viewing them as allies rather than friends. My absence would be glaring. He would be suspicious. Perhaps, when Sil demanded he hand over Kagrenac's tools, he would guess.
And for the cause of avenging a loved one, Voryn had never been one to shy away from any weapon no matter how distasteful, had been willing to take on any wound no matter how grave.
"It was my fault." The words bubbled up in my mind with such strength that, in this strange empty in-between space, they escaped me entirely. "I did this to him."
"Yes." Azura's agreement was immediate. "Your failure paved the path for this."
I considered trying to argue that I shouldn't be blamed for dying, but given that even I didn't believe in it it would be a hard sell.
(If only I'd been more suspicious. If only I'd looked at those candles a little more closely. If only I'd entertained the possibility that my erstwhile friends' lust for power might lead them to these ends-)
"Are you willing to rectify it?"
If I'd had a jaw, it would have dropped. "Rectify? I'm dead! What can I do?"
Even if I managed to gather myself and return as an ancestral spirit — ancestors were guides, protectors, perhaps advisors at a stretch. They didn't have the power or ability to enact change on their own.
"That is true. Returning to Mundus as a spirit will not allow you to set to rights what was destroyed, nor will leaving it behind and joining me in Moonshadow. But there is another path for you."
Azura's full attention was fixed on me. The image of the snowflake in the volcano flashed across my mind. I certainly felt as though I was melting at the edges.
"Will you take it?"
She hadn't told me what it was.
She didn't have to. Not with my soul drowned in guilt.
"Yes." The word had a strange sense of finality to it, like a contract signed. "I will."
The instant the words left me, something shifted. Something in the world, in Azura's presence, in my own. I frowned-
And was seized by the sudden certainty that this was wrong. This whole scene, this whole encounter with Azura, it-
It had already happened.
"What the — what's going on?"
My voice wasn't the pure exercise of thought it had been a moment (a century? An Age?) ago. Instead, it was hoarse, cracking, and familiar. Skyrim accent and all.
"I have been very patient." Whatever else had changed, Azura remained constant. She was still with me.
She was still angry.
"I have allowed you to try again and again. I have shielded your mind from the truth, given you time to adjust. But my patience is coming to an end. You have given me your word, Indoril Nerevar. I expect you to keep it."
"What-"
A snowflake in a volcano, dissolving into steam before the force of Azura's attention.
"Wake. Up."
I woke.
And I remembered.
Notes:
...:)
Chapter 37: Chapter Thirty-Five
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Adryn? Are you all right?"
I jerked upright from where I'd been sitting slumped at the kitchen table to see Jamie in the doorway, studying me with a frown. Apparently I'd lost track of my surroundings to the point where I hadn't heard her rise and do her morning ablutions. And I'd thought letting the porridge burn was bad.
"I'm fine, why are you asking?" A response that would probably have been more convincing if my voice hadn't wavered the whole way through.
Jamie's frown deepened. "You don't look fine."
"I... didn't sleep very well."
Which was true. I hadn't slept another wink after my abrupt waking in the middle of the night. Add to that the fact that I'd spent those intervening hours attempting to figure out what on Nirn was going on and whether Sheogorath had touched my mind. I'd only caught a glimpse of my face in the washbasin this morning, but I was fairly sure my visage could have made small children run screaming. Small wonder Jamie was concerned.
After the unpleasant morning, I was also ready to bet on Sheogorath's involvement. At least, I figured that was the most likely explanation for why I suddenly remembered...
A lot of things I had no business remembering.
A whole lifetime of them, in fact.
"If you're sure that's all..." But Jamie seemed to have had enough of interrogating me, because she trailed off and finally stepped into the kitchen. "Is there breakfast?"
"I burned the porridge, I'm afraid, but there's- scamp drek, I forgot the tea." It must have been steeping half an hour now. At that point, even an alchemist had to declare it undrinkable. "I'll pour it out and start a fresh batch."
Except that when I tried to get up to help, I somehow accidentally knocked the chair over. And when I attempted to pick it back up, I bumped against the table, and-
"Why don't you just... sit down. I can cook. And sweep that up," Jamie added, looking at the shards of what had been a mug a few seconds ago.
"Sorry," I mumbled, and retreated to the other chair. I was ready to swear I only let myself slump there for a moment, but when I blinked, Jamie was placing a bowl of saltrice porridge and a steaming mug of tea in front of me.
"I don't know what's going on with you," she said, "but maybe you should consider staying home tonight. Relax a little. Read. Don't do any alchemy. I think our finances can take it if you take a day off."
"I have a meeting with Ranis Athrys." I doubted she'd be all too impressed if I delayed informing her about Gadar's double life. "But after that... maybe. I'm not feeling too well." I could admit this part, right?
Jamie's brows drew together, and I remembered that I was, in fact, currently on an island in quarantine. "Not- not sick, not the Blight or anything," I hastily added. "Just... not a good day. I- I'm still thinking about what happened at Morvayn Manor."
Jamie's expression cleared up. I felt simultaneously like a genius — this, of course, explained everything — and like the lowest scum.
Because really, shouldn't I be torn to pieces by what happened at Morvayn Manor? All the people who'd died, they deserved better than to be so quickly forgotten. But although Yasamsi's dying face had lived behind my eyes for most of yesterday, today she had been pushed out by other concerns.
Which, to be fair, were not inconsiderable.
But Jamie had bought my prevarication. "I understand. I'd be lying if it wasn't still weighing on me, too. And I've had training for situations like that, where you haven't." A moment of hesitation. "You know... sometimes it just helps to talk about things, you know? I'm always willing to be a listening ear."
"...Thank you," I squeezed out. More guilt squirmed its way into my stomach, joining the guilt that was already there. Jamie was such an amazing friend. She didn't deserve me lying to her.
For a moment, I considered it. What if I just told her the truth? Well, you see, the problem is that a significant part of my brain is convinced I'm actually a several-century-old Chimer revolutionary slash leader, and it has the memories to back that up. And although I've only been consciously aware of it since this morning, I think it's been going on for a while.
At some point during the long, sleepless night, I'd revisited some of my memories of recent months. Ones involving propylon indices, Dwemer research, dreams, and similar. The results were... concerning.
No, I decided. Not yet. Maybe I'd take Jamie up on her offer later. Maybe tonight or tomorrow, maybe weeks from now. But I needed to understand what was happening better before I could talk about it with anyone. Needed, in particular, to know how likely it was the memories were real, as opposed to some cruel game of Sheogorath's.
Which meant I needed to know things like: had Indoril Nerevar really existed? Did my memory of the Chimer, the alliance with the Dwemer, repelling the Nords from Morrowind, the war over Lorkhan's Heart, match historical accounts? What about the Tribunal? Had they really been ordinary people like that? People who'd...
Phantom pain lanced through my heart. I flinched, so badly I spilled tea all over the table.
(And wasn't that the strongest evidence in favour of the whole thing being some Daedric trick? As of this morning, I was intimately familiar with what it felt like to both murder and be murdered by one's closest friends. That sort of cruel irony sounded like an active force at work.)
Wordlessly, Jamie stood up, fetched a rag, and cleaned the spill. When the table was dry again, she looked at me. "Really, Adryn, are you sure you can't wait a day?"
I pulled a face. "Don't think Ranis would be happy. But I promise I'll-"
"Let's not invite dramatic irony into our lives today, shall we?" Jamie interrupted me. "No promises. Just... take care, and try not to get yourself wrapped up in anything until you're more yourself."
It was a good thing that after the previous spill my cup was already half-empty, because that prompted an even harder flinch.
More yourself. Implying I was currently not myself. A statement that might just be truer than Jamie had any idea was possible.
I'd find out, I promised myself. I'd hit the Temple after I met Ranis — no, before. She always had a late start. Thanks to my sleepless night and Jamie's schedule, the sun wasn't even peeking over the horizon yet... but the Temple always opened early and their little library with it. The collection wasn't amazing, consisting mainly of texts about their faith and the history of the Tribunal Temple and the Chimer as a whole. But as luck would have it, that was exactly what I was after.
I had a lot of questions. I suspected some of the answers might be found there.
An hour or so later, I was certain of one thing:
My memories weren't pure fantasy.
The first book I'd picked up had put paid to that, actually. Indoril Nerevar, it turned out, was an extremely famous historical figure, a major hero of the First Age who was credited with spearheading the alliance with the Dwemer and driving the Nords out of Morrowind, uniting the then barbarian Chimer tribes and leading them in their transformation into their modern, civilized form (I wondered how the Velothi told that one), fighting against the Dwemer at Red Mountain, and so much more that echoed my memories. Famous enough it was a wonder I hadn't heard the name before.
I- he was also, apparently, a saint of the Tribunal Temple. One book had gone into some detail on how the mortally wounded Nerevar had, on his deathbed, given his blessing for the Tribunal's ascent to godhood. The surge of fury that had seized me on reading that was so strong that I'd had to quickly close the book in question before I tore it to shreds.
How dare they, how dare they, how dare they-
I'd focused on my breathing until it was even again, until my anger faded away. Viewed from the angle of my reading the cover-up of my own murder, the emotion went surprisingly quickly, as though it was threadbare from excess handling. Viewed from the angle that I was, in fact, a twenty-year-old Dunmer alchemist ex-thief from Skyrim, Daggerfall and who-knew-where who had never once met any of the Tribunal, let alone been murdered by them, it was definitely excessive.
But that was the problem, wasn't it? It wasn't as though I was struggling to reconcile the memories with my own, as though they sat alien in my mind. No, they might be new but they felt like mine. From start to finish, those memories felt like they had happened to me.
And I could see myself reflected in them, too. The reactions, the motivations, the sense of humour, even little things like not drinking alcohol, they all felt like something I'd do in the same situation. The personality was clearly mine. There were differences, of course, but all ones that could be explained by the very different upbringing and status within society. With that taken into account...
I didn't feel like some Daedra had stuffed a stranger's memories into my brain. I felt like I'd woken up suddenly remembering something I'd forgotten. Like a lost recollection from childhood, lying dormant in one's mind until the right trigger hit and it slid in where it had belonged all along.
Except that in this case, we were talking about over three hundred years of life several millennia ago.
"Adryn?"
Startled, I jerked out of my distraction to look up at Methal. I really needed to do something about my newfound tendency to zone out completely, because just as I hadn't noticed Jamie at all this morning I'd also completely missed him entering the small library chamber.
"Are you doing research?" His gaze roamed over me sitting at the little desk, the bookshelves behind me. "If you tell me what it's about, I might be able to help."
My eyes flicked from Methal to the candles that gave light to the room. The flame was a pure, clear white, the wax glimmering a little blue with their enchantment against sparks and spills.
No greenish edge to the flame. The smell in my nose was just the comforting, familiar scent of melting scrib-wax, releasing a faint note of stoneflower into the air but none of the acrid bite of bittergreen. I clung to that grimly. Real or madness, either way this was not the time to let my thoughts wander back to-
To-
I could have a breakdown when I was alone, I promised myself. Right now I had bigger problems.
"Oh, yes, I did decide to look something up." I gave Methal my best smile as my mind raced. Acting wasn't my best skill, but it was time to dredge up every speck of talent I had within me. "I wanted to read up on kinfinding rituals. I completed the last of the pilgrimages the other day, you know, so it's time to really think about whether I want to go through with them."
I quietly thanked the fact that, after my discovery of my apparent sainthood, I'd put all the books I'd pulled out that mentioned me- mentioned Nerevar back into their places. The only one I'd left was one about the structure of the Temple as a whole. Driven by morbid curiosity, I'd been planning to see whether they talked about how Vivec, Sotha Sil and Almalexia actually lived these days... but it did have some chapters that went into detail about the different services available to Temple members.
"I didn't know that. Congratulations, Sister Adryn." Methal smiled at me, an expression like a sunbeam shining through clouds. He even had dimples. Looking at him like this, one might think he was completely harmless. Unfortunately for that belief, I'd known him for longer than five minutes.
"As for the kinfinding services, I commend your willingness to think things through and research what you're getting into. Too many young people just rush into things these days. It can be life-altering, after all — and the services aren't running away. No harm in taking the time to look into them."
That was... interesting. Interesting, as it went completely against everything that not only Ajira, Llarara and Ervesa had told me, but also what my new memories reflected. My status as a clanless orphan was, according to all of them, an incredible tragedy that should be rectified at all costs. Any hesitation on my part was met with incomprehension. The idea of actually encouraging me to take my time and consider whether I wanted to go through with this was completely unthinkable.
An oddity. One I'd try to dig into, except for one thing: I wanted to get out of here now.
"There are some resources I could point you to," Methal was saying. "Books on the kinfinding ritual as such, how it was developed, famous past uses, the risks involved, that sort of thing. Unfortunately, we don't keep them in this library, but if you give me some time I might be able to dig them up."
"That would be very kind of you."
Immediately after the words left my tongue, I was gripped with fear. Was that an Adryn sort of thing to say? I'd been scrambling to keep up the illusion that there was nothing wrong, digging for anything that could help me do that. One of those things, I just now realised, was the polite mask I'd started working on after the war with the Nords ended and I actually needed to start being diplomatic not just with the Dwemer but with our neighbours. It had come in incredibly handy, especially after Kagrenac's gift of the Moon-and-Star helped me rein in my worst impulses... but it was not something I'd had to hand a day ago.
"That said, I really have to go. Ranis Athrys needs something, and she gets so tetchy if I'm late." I wrinkled my nose, doing my best to give the impression of a young adult frustrated by her elders' unreasonable demands. Given that I was one, it shouldn't be this hard.
"That's a pity. Will I be seeing you later?"
Not if I have anything to say about it.
"Probably — especially if you have books for me! But I'm not sure. Ranis didn't say how long the whole thing would take. It might occupy me for a while."
In truth, dumping the identity of the Telvanni spy in her lap shouldn't take long, especially as I had absolutely no intention of getting involved in dealing with the spy. But Methal had no idea what I was doing for Ranis, and so it made an excellent excuse.
"When next you have time, then. I'll find those books for you."
He gave me a friendly smile as I gathered my pack and stood to leave. I gave him a friendly wave on the way out the door. Both of us were emanating friendliness with such single-minded focus that I suspected the room would be saturated in it for hours to come.
On leaving the Temple, I didn't make my way straight to the Mages' Guild. Instead, after I'd left it out of sight, I ducked into a deserted alleyway. There, I gave into impulse and let my hand drift up to cover my face.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Going to the Temple had been reflex. Between Ervesa, Methal, Dunmeris lessons, pilgrimages and my potion sales, I was on good terms with a great many Temple faithful, including most of the ones staffing the Ald'ruhn Temple. I'd also become familiar with the resources it offered and made use of them more and more often. So it had simply been natural to start there, when I decided I needed to do research to figure out whether my new memories reflected reality.
This was of course all perfectly logical and made complete sense... for the Adryn of a day ago. The Adryn of today, however, had distinct memories of being murdered by the exact figures the Temple worshipped. If those memories were false, they were blasphemy Methal and his ilk would likely find less than amusing. And if they were true, I should absolutely keep my distance in case they decide it was time for a reprise.
True, I didn't see how anyone could possibly guess I was, somehow, Indoril Nerevar — I didn't quite believe it myself, after all — but better safe than sorry. Especially as I'd gathered in my time on Morrowind, particularly when speaking to the Velothi, that the Temple had a side far less friendly than the one it had shown me so far.
All of which I should really have put together earlier, but stumbling, sleep-deprived, with my head still an absolute mess of disparate memories, I'd fallen into old habits. It had only been when Methal showed up and I imagined the candles burning green that I realised I'd just headed straight into the snow-bear's den.
Jamie was right, I decided. I should probably just stay home today, to get my head on straight. I needed to talk to Ranis, but after that I'd head straight back to our place.
Maybe I'd even be able to get some sleep. True, the thought was a little frightening — something about realising that you've been force-fed memories in your dreams for months all unknowing makes one reluctant to go to bed — but I had to sleep at some point. There was hardly much point in postponing it, especially since maybe if I was well-rested things would look more surmountable.
Plan made, I let myself breathe for a few moments before I made my way to the Mages' Guild.
In retrospect, it had been too much to hope for that anything would go smoothly.
"Excuse me," I told the tall, muscular, heavy armoured guard currently dragging me along by the arm. "What's going on?"
Silence.
"Where are you taking me?"
More silence.
"Look, I expect a certain standard of quality in my abductions. You can't just grab me on the marketplace in Ald'ruhn and tell me to come quietly and nothing else. There needs to be a little more information here."
Silence.
My eyes narrowed.
My first thought, after being grabbed, had been that someone, at some point, had caught on to my criminal activities. Maybe Habasi, annoyed by being rebuked by her guildmaster, had decided to snitch — it was the sort of petty revenge I could imagine from her. This would of course be highly unfortunate and the timing nothing short of absurd, but I'd been hopeful I could talk my way out. I'd managed to get out of worse things that way. Especially after I'd gained the Moon-and-Star-
I sternly reminded myself that I did not in fact have a magical ring created by Kagrenac and enchanted by Azura herself which helped me in diplomacy, because I was in fact a twenty-year-old Dunmer alchemist and not a Chimer war leader who'd been dead for several thousand years, no matter how much I might currently feel otherwise.
All that aside, with the way this guy was acting, I was starting to think this wasn't actual law enforcement business. In which case...
"If I don't get some answers, I'll scream. Really loudly. So half of Ald'ruhn can hear me," I told him. Really, I should've probably done that to start.
For a moment, I thought even this wouldn't work and I'd have to go through with my threat. Then-
"Archmaster wants to talk to you," said a gruff voice coming from inside the helmet.
Archmaster?
As in Bolvyn Venim, head of House Redoran?
"...are you sure you have the right person?" I asked weakly.
The answer was, of course, silence. But the shock kept me silent as well as I was brought under Skar, into Venim manor...
...Boethiah's sword, they really were bringing me to the Archmaster.
The Archmaster, who was a broad-shouldered Dunmer man who wore his grey hair caught in a topknot, his beard neatly trimmed, and — oh yes — his clothing in the style of full ebony armour. Inside his own home! What on Nirn was the man afraid of? Armed invasion?
Also, why did he look rather familiar?
"Ah." Venim looked me up and down with an expression more suited to a cockroach than a fellow sentient being. "The outlander Adryn, yes."
"That's me. What can I do for you? ...sir."
Apparently I was now a cockroach covered in dung.
Dimly, I realised that he was trying to intimidate me. This whole thing was calculated, designed to put me off balance, make me feel small and grubby and unworthy. It wasn't working as well as it could have.
...was it, in fact, not working as well as it would have yesterday? Was I drawing on my memories as Nerevar again? There had been many times when I'd needed to hold firm against an opponent throwing their weight around.
And this was definitely not the time for my current identity crisis.
"I have tolerated your presence in Ald'ruhn this far, outsider. I would like you to understand and appreciate the sacrifice this was. Usually, you see, I do not take kindly to criminals breaking into my home... but Neminda informed me that your presence was simply a fortuitous accident, and that, given the Temple's pronouncement on the matter, we should all be grateful for your intercession on Varvur Sarethi's behalf." Derision dripped off the man's words. "And thus I chose to extend Almalexia's mercy despite my better judgement. Outlander."
...right. That was where I knew the man from - he was the nobleman who'd been keeping Varvur imprisoned up until I'd blundered into his cell. And it seemed that he had, in fact, put together the pieces that I wasn't Telvanni, thanks ever so Varvur.
"Um. I. I'm very grateful for your forbearance, sir."
Venim's nostrils flared, reminding me of nothing so much as a nix-hound on a scent. "As I was saying. I tolerated your presence here," why was he using the past tense, the past tense was very bad, "but it has recently come to my attention that you have been inveigling yourself in House Redoran."
Of course. The Morvayn manor investigation, the attention drawn to me in the process. I'd completely neglected to consider the fact that there was one particular higher-up in Redoran who had reason to be very unkindly disposed towards me and whose attention I should probably avoid.
"Yes, well. Um. I was happy to help Neminda and the rest, you know. Er."
I was going to babble something about how the whole experience had given me an entirely new appreciation for the concepts of honour and chivalry, and maybe apologise for more-or-less involuntarily burgling his home that one time in hopes it would make him soften towards me at least a little, but Venim talked over me as if I hadn't even spoken.
(Rude. But I doubted reproaching him would help the situation.)
"No doubt you'll be asking for membership soon, and Athyn — soft-hearted fool that he is — will grant it."
Venim's brows drew together in a thunderous scowl. A nix-hound? No, this was a full-blown ice wolf, and I was the unfortunate rabbit who was going to be dinner.
"I refuse to allow an enemy agent in my House."
...what?
For a brief, horrifying moment, I thought that Venim had somehow managed to learn about Cosades. That he was about to denounce me as a member of the Blades, agent of the Imperial power that was so deeply unpopular here in Morrowind.
Then my brain started working again and spat out the fact that this was both extremely unlikely, and that if Venim had found out about Cosades somehow, the first move he'd make would surely be against Jamie, not me.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said. I thought my voice had the right tone of outraged confusion, but I had a terrible feeling that I'd hesitated a damning moment too long.
"Don't you? Athyn may be blind and deaf as a new-hatched nix-pup, but I for one have no intention of permitting a Telvanni spy into the guild."
...correction. Venim hadn't, despite what should be truly copious evidence otherwise, let go of the idea that I'd secretly been Telvanni all along.
"Have you been smoking skooma?" I blurted out, then bit my tongue so hard it bled. Product of my imagination or no, I really, truly missed the Moon-and-Star. "Um-"
"Very convincing. I may even have to grant Athyn a little understanding for the fact that he hasn't caught on. But there's no point in putting an act on for me, little spy."
Seriously?
"Look. I-"
"Enough." Venim continued not allowing me to get a word in edgewise. I wondered whether my presence was even necessary. If he wanted an audience for his monologue, had he considered the wall? "I have tolerated you this long. I am willing to continue tolerating you in Ald'ruhn. There are so many rats in this city, one more hardly makes much of a difference... and I like to have my enemies where I can see them. But."
Venim took a step forward, changing our height difference from awkward to very definitely looming. His hand clenched around the hilt of his sword. Dusty combat instincts belonging to a probably hallucinatory past life told me I should be putting distance behind us and reaching for my nonexistent spear, to the point where it was a real struggle to make myself stay still.
"Stay away from Redoran. Or else I will cease to be so merciful."
I took back my earlier statement. Nerevar's memories or not, I felt very definitely intimidated right now.
"You may go."
Well, I wasn't going to wait for him to say that twice.
All things told, I was rather frazzled when I finally made it to the Balmora Mages' Guild. Given the day I'd been having, Azura herself couldn't possibly have blamed me. I'd even almost run over an elderly Dunmer woman down one side street, despite the fact that it was deserted other than the two of us. When she simply stared at me as I fumbled my apologies, I'd really wondered whether it would be best to give this up and just go home.
Alas, rescheduling would require Ranis to be reasonable, and she and that word did not belong anywhere in the same sentence.
I told myself that at least this part should be straightforward. Show Ranis my proof. Give her the evidence. Adroitly remove myself from the situation before she could do anything else. Hopefully, with the feather in her cap that discovering a spy should be (I didn't fool myself that my contribution to the whole thing would be mentioned), she'd be in a good mood and let me go. At that point I'd be able to go home and think about what to do about my sudden influx of alien memories-
-or the fact that the Redoran Archmaster had just threatened me-
-or what to do about the Temple-
All right, so the number of things I needed to deal with was both larger than I'd like and also constantly growing, but right now was not the time to start. Especially because I suspected looking at the whole mess head-on would leave me gibbering in a corner, and I made a point of not doing that in public. First off, Ranis.
The first sign that something was off came when I found Ranis in her study.
"One moment," she commanded, leaving me blinking. A minute later, she was back — with Estirdalin and Sharn gra-Muzgob in her wake.
"Please continue."
Odd. Very odd. This was the first time she'd ever wanted someone else to be part of our chats. That — the way she always gave me my orders away from prying ears — had actually been one of the reasons I'd grown suspicious that she was using me for her own advancement. This was a clear departure from form.
Well, I thought, maybe she wanted to get moving on the spy as soon as possible. This was, after all, to all appearances a completely legitimate mission. Maybe at the start I'd worried that she was trying to frame a rival, to get them out of her way, but those documents had been impossible to misinterpret. The spy was real.
"Adryn?"
Oh, right.
"I've identified the Telvanni agent, as you requested." A deep breath. "It's Tiram Gadar."
"Oh? And do you have any evidence for this?"
"As it happens, I do. To begin with, I have his recommendation letter here, the one that convinced Trebonius to hire him. Now, if you'll look closely at the seal..."
I went through the various inconsistencies and forged documents. Throughout, Ranis was silent, her face unchanging.
I could feel sweat dampen my shirt. Somewhere in my mind, an alarm bell was starting to ring. Ranis should be delighted at this news. If she felt any guild loyalty, the idea of being able to neutralise a malicious agent in it should fill her with glee. If she didn't, the status she'd be able to get through this should do the same. She shouldn't be giving the impression that she was unhappy I'd succeeded, especially given that she was the one who'd set me the mission to begin with!
I was missing something. What was it?
Finally, I reached my grand finale — the letters I'd found yesterday. I'd written out a decrypted version for each. "See, this is clearly from a handler, telling him to copy out the guild ledgers-"
"A likely story."
I hadn't been expecting Ranis to interrupt me. That along with the content of what she said threw me for a loop.
"I'm sorry?"
"As if we should believe such claptrap. 'Decrypted'? You could make that gibberish say anything."
Actually, you couldn't. The chances of a wrong key coincidentally producing a text that was Tamrielic was absolutely minuscule, let alone one that was both coherent and made sense in context. Even if I hadn't found the key in Gadar's possession, there was no doubt that this was the true meaning of the letter.
I'd opened my mouth to correct Ranis, but she just barrelled on over me.
"Coincidences. Minor irregularities. Spelling mistakes. Brief failures of memory. All perfectly natural, to be expected — and you call this proof. "
She swept her hand out, knocking my ever so carefully collected pile of evidence off the desk. My jaw dropped as the papers fluttered to the ground.
"What do you mean it isn't proof? I- you-" I sputtered. "You tell me who you think the Telvanni spy is, if you don't like the one the evidence points to!"
"Why, isn't it obvious?"
Ranis' eyes glittered in triumph. I felt — too late, too late — the jaws of the trap spring shut around me.
"It's you."
For an endless moment, I thought I'd heard wrong.
"Excuse me?"
I'd known for a while now that Ranis didn't like me. She'd really made no bones of the fact. Nonetheless, she'd never once before looked at me like this. Annoyed by my breathing in her general vicinity, yes. Seriously considering whether I was actually a Dunmer, not a cockroach who had somehow learned to talk, maybe. I'd been trying my best to prove I wasn't worth her contempt, even as I began to wonder whether she was worth the effort at all.
But if she'd ever looked at me like she was now, I'd never have bothered. And possibly fled to the mainland. Her face was alight, her eyes gleaming, the corner of her mouth twitched upwards. That was active malice flickering in her gaze, twisting her lips into a smile.
"You heard me. Spy. "
I was still scrambling to catch up with events. Whatever my suspicions about Ranis' errands, whatever I'd thought she wanted from this ludicrous spy hunt, this had not been anywhere in my list of possible outcomes.
"I... but I'm not a spy?" This was unlikely to convince anyone, not Ranis who looked as though all her Saturnalia presents had come at once, not Estirdalin or Sharn who were watching this all go down with grim expressions. "I mean, do I-" look like a Telvanni, I was about to say before my conversation with the Archmaster that morning flashed through my mind. "-why on Nirn do you think I'm Telvanni? Are you basing this on hair colour alone, or what?"
"Oh, come now. There's no need for the act. You've been caught fair and square."
"Have the lot of you lost your minds?" I snapped.
Privately, I was entertaining the hypothesis that I had and I was now hallucinating all of this. Given how today had begun, it seemed increasingly likely.
Ranis sighed. "Well. If you insist on drawing this out-"
"-yes! I do!"
"-I'll explain."
Ranis leaned back into her chair. A rustle of cloth made me turn to see Estirdalin and Sharn moving backwards to stand side by side in front of the closed door.
Blocking the exit, I realised, and felt something cold run down my spine.
"Let's start with the fact that you just showed up at the Guild one day. No history, no contacts, no mention at all of your past except for a vague mention that you lived in Daggerfall and Windhelm — two places far enough away it'd be impossible for us to find corroborating evidence."
I had to suppress a wince as I realised that the way I'd blocked out my past had come back to bite me yet again. Unwilling to think about Windhelm, fixated on looking forward, I'd successfully redirected, changed subjects and at times just flat-out left conversations whenever they turned to the topic of my past. A few guild members had gotten close enough to see the trauma beneath that reaction — Ajira and Masalinie, most notably. Ranis hadn't been among them.
Still...
"My arrival on the island was documented at the Census office," I argued. "They have records of where I came from and under what circumstances — circumstances which very much preclude me being Telvanni, I should mention." I wasn't looking forward to trying to explain to Ranis why, exactly, I'd been in prison in Cyrodiil and then released to Vvardenfell without mentioning the Blades, but it'd be better than this.
"Documents can be faked. Isn't that your whole argument for accusing Tiram? How strange that his papers are counterfeit and not to be trusted while yours are of course beyond reproach."
I had my mouth open to argue that — as if I didn't have evidence to support that claim! It wasn't as if I'd just looked once at those documents and decided they were fake! — but it was too late. Ranis had already moved on.
"You settled into guild life quite easily. Too easily. Attaching yourself to Ajira, then Galbedir, then Edwinna, flitting around from guild to guild in search of information... and don't think I missed you manipulating Masalinie into teaching you the guild guide spells. You must have been so disappointed to realise they were useless without the foundational spells, and that nobody would let you near those."
"That's not how that happened at all! Masalinie asked me to learn them so she'd be able to visit-"
"A likely story." Ranis waved her hand dismissively, as if the idea of one of the guild guides actually wanting to take a day off was too ridiculous for words. "When that didn't work, you started sniffing around Folms Mirel's research, but he was clever enough to catch on to what you were doing. A pity Edwinna was so soft-hearted or we could've had you out of the guild then. Which you must have realised, because that was when you started those absurd language classes. Trying to strengthen your position in the guild."
I'd been staring at Ranis in mute disbelief, struggling to figure out where I could even start to unravel this distortion of my actions. That, now, that had to be a loose end. "That- come on, I'd been visiting Llarara's Dunmeris classes at that point, and Ajira asked me about it! Besides, where exactly is this Telvanni version of me supposed to have learned Ta'agra?"
...maybe that wasn't the best argument, since I couldn't even explain how I'd learned Ta'agra.
But it was another point Ranis decided to attack. "Ah, yes, the Dunmeris classes. Strange how quickly you improved, wasn't it? Marayn mentioned that you're holding whole conversations. Quite a leap, for someone who claimed they didn't know a word of the language half a year ago."
"Well-"
Just as I'd been about to lob this particular argument away from me, the unwelcome realisation struck: I had learned Dunmeris fast. Too fast. Unnaturally fast, even.
But this might very well be explained by the fact that I was, absurdly enough, completely fluent in Chimeris... and the language hadn't changed that much in the intervening years.
A thought to chew on, but this was definitely not the right time for it. As it was, the epiphany made me lose my stride, and by the time I was fumbling to explain Llarara's theory of my early childhood Ranis had already moved on.
"In fact, it wasn't enough for you to infiltrate the Mages' Guild. You also somehow managed to find an in with House Redoran! Thankfully, I found a way to put a stop to that. Councilor Sarethi's steward didn't want to hear a word of it, but the Archmaster was very willing to listen to my concerns."
And now I knew who was to blame for my kidnapping this morning. I'd have to find some way to thank Ranis for the experience, truly. Just imagine — I might have missed out on getting dragged through the streets like a clumsy pickpocket only to be threatened by the highest-ranking noble in town.
"Look," I tried, "that's not what happened. I ran into Varvur completely by coincidence — you know how ridiculous my luck in these things is, I've complained about it a lot-"
"It definitely makes for a good cover story, I'll grant you. Meeting with your handler, trying to infiltrate Redoran on top of the guild, gathering information... the spy job involves a lot of irregular absences, doesn't it? How handy that you found a way to explain them away. Although I, for one, would have appreciated it if you'd tried to make the lie a little more believable."
All right, we'd heard it from Ranis Athrys — reality was just plain not realistic enough. "I know they're ridiculous, but I can back up the misadventures. If you just ask-"
"Oh, I did." That... should be good news for me, shouldn't it? Why was Ranis still smiling? "And I heard some interesting things. Why, after all, would a Mages' Guild member keep meeting with Telvanni?"
I blinked. "...But I didn't meet any Telvanni?"
Immediately after I said it, I realised it was a mistake. At least, the way Ranis' smile had widened foretold nothing good.
Wait, was she counting Ervesa?
"Oh? Witnesses saw you speaking with Edward Thelman. Mere days after you joined the guild, too! Such audacity."
This was... not ringing a bell at all. "Edward who?"
Ranis' eyes narrowed. "A well-known Telvanni living in Balmora. Rumour has it he's in exile of some sort, but that's probably just a cover. You spent an entire silt strider journey with him, after you went on an errand for Ajira and then claimed to somehow, " the sarcasm hung so thick in the air it was almost visible, "have ended up in Suran."
That did bring up some memories. Mainly of meeting Ervesa for the first time. But it was true that after we'd parted, I'd taken the silt strider back to Balmora. I hadn't been alone, either. There had been that Fighter's Guild scout I'd spoken to a few times since, and...
...a truly, incredibly annoying man utterly unable to take a hint, who my memory had been happy to excise until now and only grudgingly retrieved.
"That guy was Telvanni? Really? I always expected they'd be a little more... impressive."
"Spare me your false ignorance. There was also Gelduin. A Bosmer who offers scouting services to caravans in Vvardenfell. We discovered her to be a Telvanni agent a year ago and she has since been barred from accessing guild services. You have been seen to meet with her several times."
I definitely remembered Gelduin. The scout who'd taken me under her wing back when Varvur and I had been travelling to Ald'ruhn, who'd first let me know there might be something strange going on with my Mysticism skills. She'd run into me twice more in Ald'ruhn and taken me out for a drink and some enjoyable conversation.
"She's Telvanni? How am I supposed to know I'm not meant to associate with her without someone telling me?"
Ranis sniffed. At this rate I was nearly wondering if she'd come down with a cold. "Somehow the rest of the guild managed just fine."
The rest of the guild who'd been around when she'd been banned in the first place?
"Of course, we cannot forget the time you went gallivanting around Azura's coast and the Grazelands for nearly a week. Checking in with your master, was it?"
I'd been wondering if this was going to be brought in as evidence. "I was in the Telvanni areas, true, but I was accompanied the entire time. Seriously, ask Tenyeminwe, or those Redoran girls."
This was admittedly a lie, but one I figured no one could possibly blame me for. There had been a small period where I'd been alone, investigating the haunting of Sadrith Mora's inn while Tenyeminwe sat outside and waited. I was suddenly extremely grateful that I'd never mentioned my visit to the Telvanni Council chambers, and definitely not the fact that they'd tried to recruit me. This would, I figured, give the wrong impression. There was far too much of that happening already, if you asked me.
"Ah yes, the 'Redoran girls'. Another transparent attempt to get Redoran nobles into your debt, as if Sarethi wasn't bad enough already. No doubt agreed on in advance with your handlers."
This was getting ridiculous.
Ridiculous, and I'd let it go on for far too long already.
"Look," I said, drawing on the part of me that had had centuries of experience dealing with difficult personalities and could not be cowed so easily. (The fact that those centuries of experience might well be imaginary wasn't important at this juncture). "I know you don't like me. I don't like you a lot either, to be honest." We'd reached the point where I didn't think matters would be made worse by me admitting that. "But these trumped-up charges are absurd. You have to see that you're taking coincidence and circumstantial evidence and using them to confirm what you've already decided is true. If this is seriously just about me running into people by chance-"
"Oh? Was your meeting with Llarar Bereloth chance, then? Because witnesses said you sought him out specifically. Asked for directions and everything."
Bereloth, Bereloth...
...the ex-Telvanni living in Sulipund. The one I'd tried to recruit to the guild.
The one-
"But..." Shock had stolen my voice until it was barely more than a whisper. "But you asked me to talk to him."
The iron steadfastness I'd felt just a moment ago was gone, along with the ground under my feet.
"I certainly don't remember anything of the sort."
I listened in speechless horror as Ranis went on.
I'd embezzled money by falsely posing as a collector of guild fees. Manipulated a visiting scholar whose research was of interest to the Telvanni into giving me his notes. Attempted to blackmail an unlicensed healer into becoming a Telvanni informant. Killed poor innocent Tashpi Ashibael when she uncovered my perfidious actions. And, finally, tried to frame a completely innocent guild member as a spy in order to cover my tracks.
I didn't try to defend myself. What would the point have been? Up until now, I'd thought that this was, somehow, a genuine misunderstanding. That through whatever paranoia afflicted her, Ranis had come to believe I was an an enemy agent. That if I just defended myself well enough, I'd be able to convince her that she had things wrong and this whole mess would blow over.
Looking at her now, looking at the glee dancing in her eyes, I realised I'd gravely misjudged Ranis. There was no misunderstanding here. This was deliberate. She'd set me up. I still couldn't imagine why, what she possibly had to gain from it, but it meant that there was no way of talking myself out of this.
"Well?" Apparently she'd finished. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
"Why would I bother? You've clearly already made up your mind."
Everything was very clear. The fog of confusion I'd spent most of the morning in receded, my focus narrowing in exactly on the here and now. Ranis was still sitting in her chair, the challenger triumphant. Behind me, I could hear cloth rustle. Estirdalin and Sharn, of course. Ranis' cronies.
"Take her away."
I decided that I did not, in fact, want to know what the Mages' Guild did with purported spies.
Thankfully, I had another way out.
This morning, I'd made doubly sure to not only take the Hlormaren propylon index with me but make certain it was easily accessible. In particular, I'd stashed it in a small holder on my belt rather than the pouch around my neck it had travelled in before. It meant that instead of needing to rummage around for it, if I absolutely had to get out of a situation right away I could always just...
Drop my hand to my belt, slip a finger in the small opening at the top, brush the crystal, and...
Ranis' eyes widened, but too late.
The world dissolved.
Notes:
...:)
A little more seriously: if anyone is feeling blindsided and as though this came out of nowhere - so is Adryn! Next chapter will shine light on what exactly happened here, although it *might* be possible to piece a good chunk of it together now.
Chapter 38: Chapter Thirty-Six
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The instant after Hlormaren's propylon chamber coalesced around me, I stumbled over to the wall and let myself lean against it, the cold stone pressing against my face.
"Horns of Molag Bal," I swore. Then followed it up with something stronger. Then with what were either some Dwemeris curse words I'd learned from Dumac on the occasion of our first joint battle or meaningless creations of a deranged mind. Either way, the bitten-off syllables felt good as they sprang off my tongue.
What had just happened?
Well, all right, the actual what of it was very clear: Ranis had just attempted to frame me as a Telvanni spy. And, it had to be said, succeeded quite handily.
The why, on the other hand, was what I was still struggling with. What on earth had I done to Ranis that she'd go to these lengths to remove me from the guild? I didn't delude myself that I was of any particular importance in the grand scheme of things. Even if Ranis truly despised me, it wasn't as if anyone had forced her to interact with me. Especially after I'd moved to Ald'ruhn — even with her taking over as Edwinna's temporary replacement since the quarantine, she could have just let me continue working independently. I'd even suggested that as an option, which she'd shot down.
Maybe she'd thought that my tendency towards misadventures was a diplomatic risk too great to have in the guild. But if so, why not go through the usual pathways for expelling someone unsuitable? With Edwinna gone and myself at odds with almost every other guild head, it wasn't as if anyone would have protected me. Or, if she'd had to trump up charges, framing me for misuse of guild resources or theft from one of the members would have been far simpler. Why this twisted game? Why the scene this morning?
The most bewildering thing of all was that up until the point where she pulled in the missions she'd sent me on herself, I'd have been willing to swear that she genuinely believed what she was saying. Ranis must be a truly incredibly actress... a skill set I'd seen no sign of until now.
Maybe she was a spy?
But if she was, I had even less idea why she'd go out on a limb to get me expelled. It wasn't as if I'd been in any position to uncover her.
And, of course — where did Tiram Gadar fit into this picture? Because I was still willing to swear on the ashes of my ancestors that he was an operative of some sort. The letters in his lockbox had been damning.
My sigh stirred the dusty air. "You're not going to figure this out now," I told myself. "Better to focus on what to do next, and leave the whys and wherefores until that's sorted out, N- Adryn. "
So. What next?
First, taking stock. My pack contained needed essentials. Potions, my map, food and water, linen cloths and a small jar of cleansing paste for my teeth, a change of clothing, even (Tanar's trusty Feather enchantments to thank) a bedroll. My purse weighed heavy where it was tucked into my clothing. My varied involuntary teleportation misadventures had left me paranoid about leaving so much as my house without enough gear for several days in the wild, and in this case that had saved me. I'd also be able to take some of the dried rations and equipment Jamie and I had stored here in Hlormaren. I vaguely remembered hearing her talk about stowing an actual tent.
All that was very useful, as going back to Balmora was obviously out of the question. Making my way back to Ald'ruhn would take far longer — up the Bitter Coast past Caldera Mine, where there was a road through the hills to the West Gash, then from there along the main road to Ald'ruhn. A multi-day journey, definitely-
"-thought I heard something."
My head snapped up. That was... was that a voice? Outside? My ears claimed it was. My brain countered that the fortress had been deserted ever since Jamie chased away the bandits who'd made it their base before us-
If it turned out that some more bandits or smugglers or similar had decided to settle down here in the week or so since we'd been here last, I'd... I'd just quit. Sit down where I was and throw a tantrum. I'd had a very long, very stressful day and it wasn't even noon yet. The world could not be piling this sort of misfortune on top of it. I refused.
Alas, my ears were steadfast in their appraisal of the situation. My eyes, too, had turned coat and joined them in their treacherous ways. At least, that was how I explained the fact that they were insistent on informing me that the door — the thick wooden door that Jamie and I always locked behind us — was cracked open.
Wait.
Was opening.
My hand reached out for my spear and found empty air. I informed it that this was a completely useless reflex belonging to another body entirely, and I'd likely have better luck shuffling through my spell collection in hopes one would prove useful.
The two people who entered, a Redguard man and an Imperial woman, were both armoured. Well- armoured, too, in steel and iron, the pieces fitted and clearly belonging to a set. A far cry from the patchwork that was the best your average bandit could dredge up.
Well-equipped bandits, then. Just what I'd always wanted. Although that didn't explain why the two looked familiar.
"Er, hi," I said. "Welcome to Hlormaren? I'm sure we can come to an agreement-"
"Would you look at that," the woman said. "She actually showed. I thought Ranis was having us on."
My stomach decided the time had come to showcase its acrobatic abilities, starting its show with an extremely rapid journey downwards. Apparently sinking just wasn't enough for it anymore.
"...Ranis?" Please, please, please let me have heard that one wrong.
"Thought she'd lost it, saying you might show up here of all places. Just goes to show, you should never doubt a mage. Anyway!" The woman grinned, a bright, friendly expression. I'd have been far more willing to respond in kind if she hadn't also drawn her sword. "Bounty's higher if you're alive, so do you mind coming quietly?"
Bounty.
Ranis had honestly taken a bounty out on me.
"Er... you wouldn't be interested in talking this over, would you?" I backed away, more sure than ever that I didn't want to know Ranis' plans for me. "I'm sure that you have more interesting things to do, whoever you are..."
The smile slipped. "Whoever we are? Well, I'm insulted. Doesn't even know her own neighbours."
Belatedly, I realised where I'd seen these two before. They were Fighter's Guild members, from next door. I'd chatted with the Redguard before when we were both leaving our respective guilds at the same time. Neither of them looked particularly pleased to have been forgotten.
I'd known my terrible memory for people would come back to bite me one day.
"It's the panic! It does awful things to my memory, don't you know. However, if you could just put down the weapons I would be significantly less panicked-"
"Give up, girl." The Redguard stepped closer. I stepped back, the hum of the propylon crystal growing louder as I did. "You're cornered. Nowhere to run. And the little teleportation trick Ranis warned us about won't work here, now will it? Not without one of these."
And then he held up a propylon index.
The smirk on his face was one of the most infuriating things I'd ever seen. I was tempted to slap it away, except for the way that that would almost certainly be the last thing I'd ever do.
My mind raced.
They were right that I couldn't use the Hlormaren index to escape, since it would just leave me right where I'd started. And the Hlormaren index was the only one I had with me, since it was the only one that led anywhere remotely safe. I doubted I'd be able to grab the index he was taunting me with. That meant the propylon network was out of question as an escape-
-except it wasn't. It was true I only had the index to Hlormaren on me. And it was also true that the network must have been locked at some point in time after my... call it what it had been, my death . But when I'd designed the thing, I had in fact considered the possibility that one day, the indices might be lost and the network locked, and wanted to make sure that we wouldn't be locked out entirely if that were to happen.
In particular: although nobody else would be able to use the network in its current state, I as the creator had a back door.
"Come on, girl. Just come quietly. If you struggle, you might get hurt."
The Redguard took a step forward. I took a step back, heart racing. I'd have to time this perfectly. They already had their weapons drawn — if I took an instant too long, they'd be able to run me through.
"You come on! Won't you consider just letting me go, for the sake of our friendly relationship?" Another step back. The low buzzing of the crystal felt like it was shaking my bones in my skin.
He threw his head back and laughed. "Friendly relationship! You didn't even remember who I was. And-"
I wouldn't get a better chance.
Quick as thought, I whirled around and lunged forward, slapping my hands to the crystal. The magic was dormant, but I'd done a good job with it if I said so myself. Even thousands of years after the last time, I just had to reach out and-
There!
"Hey!" I heard, but the world was already dissolving around me.
For the second time in perhaps ten minutes.
I wouldn't have thought things could get worse than the first time, but that was today for you.
Andasreth didn't have the creature comforts of Hlormaren, with dust lying thick on the ground and only a few splintered wooden shards in place of furniture.
I'd take it, I decided. The important thing was that it was empty of anyone but me, and the sole door was barred. (This had been the first thing I'd verified. Let no one say I didn't learn from my mistakes.)
Briefly, I considered panicking about the fact that I'd just successfully used a completely new, absolutely unheard of magical skill based on nothing but my memories of being Nerevar, which significantly lowered the chances of the whole thing being some extremely strange dream or hallucination. Then I decided that I already had far too many things to panic about, so this would simply have to wait its turn.
So.
The one, single, lonely item of good news was that Andasreth was far closer to Ald'ruhn, only a little further than Hlormaren was from Balmora. If I left now, I might be able to make it not too long after nightfall.
I embraced this thought. Hugged it to me. Good news was in short supply right now, one had to make the most of it when it was there.
But all good things come to an end eventually. Shedding a mental tear, I put it aside and considered the bad news.
The first, of course, being this: it was probably a bad idea to return to Ald'ruhn at all.
Oh, I wanted to. Right now, I desired nothing more than to return to my home, make my way to my bed, and crawl into it to hide under the covers until the world made sense again. I could almost see the red-and-orange quilt, smell the fragrance from the dried stoneflower sachets, feel the banked heat of the fire-warmed brick I put into it every evening against my toes. I yearned for that bed the way some people yearned for a lover.
And yet.
Any hope that Ranis would be satisfied with me crawling away to lick my wounds had been dashed at Hlormaren. I had just as little idea as to why as before, but she was clearly extremely intent on taking me in, or perhaps that should be down.
She'd also likely destroyed my reputation. The Fighter's Guild didn't take bounties on just anyone. They dealt in crime, for the most part. What had Ranis told them, to get them to take on the job?
And there was no way she'd send people to wait at Hlormaren and not have something prepared in case I just walked home like nothing had ever happened. No, Ald'ruhn — mine and Jamie's little house on the corner, my alchemy lab, my bed with its quilt — had to be a trap by now.
I needed to confront the unpleasant truth:
I wasn't going to be able to get out of this one alone.
Not alone, and not with the help of my friends, either. Jamie, Ajira, Masalinie, Dralsi — none of them had the sort of clout that was required to untangle me from Ranis' trap. No, I needed someone with more power. Someone more important.
Two options came to my mind: Skink-in-Tree's-Shade, and Athyn Sarethi.
Skink-in-Tree's-Shade was a wild card. I didn't really know the Argonian beyond our brief interaction on my visit to Sadrith Mora and his general reputation within the guild. Said reputation was very good, which was why I'd been assembling my documentation against Ranis. I even had it still, tucked into a water-proof pocket in my pack, planning to talk to the Sadrith Mora guild head after I met with Ranis... but of course this latest twist had tossed the kagouti among the scribs. Now, in some very crucial aspects, it was my word against Ranis'. What if Skink-in-Tree's-Shade didn't believe me?
On the surface, Athyn Sarethi was the better bet. Not a member of the guild, true, but as a Redoran Councilor he could have a significant amount of sway over it if he so desired. He knew me personally, liked me, and considered himself indebted to me. And I'd just been planning to take up his outstanding invitation to join House Redoran. If I went through with that, his position as my patron would let him go to Ranis Athrys, or maybe Trebonius himself, and demand a fair hearing on my behalf in place of the farce of one I'd just escaped.
I pushed down the surge of unease that filled me at the idea of joining Redoran, sternly informing myself that certain memories telling me I was actually already part of a completely different House were probably just some sort of hallucination or Daedric trick, and it had been four thousand years and Indoril would almost certainly have changed beyond recognition, and in general my problems were big enough that I couldn't afford to indulge in some absurd sense of loyalty towards a clan I'd had nothing to do with in my — all right, in this — life.
Especially because there were far better reasons not to drag Athyn Sarethi into my problems.
For one, my meeting with the Redoran Archmaster this morning. Venim had made it perfectly clear that he didn't like me and didn't want me around House Redoran. If I joined, he'd likely make life very, very uncomfortable for me, in ways Sarethi wouldn't be able to protect me from. Ranis was no doubt counting on exactly that.
This alone I might have decided to weather as best I could, but there was the other problem.
The Temple.
House Redoran was close to the Temple, I knew. Varvur had a cousin serving as an Armiger, Jamie had mentioned the whole family was very devout and regularly attended services, and I knew Sarethi and Methal were acquainted somehow.
Up until this morning, this had been of no consequence to me, even a positive. After all, I had ties to the Temple too, was on friendly terms with many of the members, was even trying to join.
(Azura above, I'd succeeded, hadn't I? As of yesterday I'd completed all the pilgrimages, was officially a lay member of the Tribunal Temple. The irony was thick enough to choke on.)
Now? Well. There was a reason that I'd run away from Methal this morning.
Tying myself to Athyn Sarethi the way I'd have to if he were to help me would require staying in close contact with the Temple. This had the potential to end very badly if my memories turned out to be true. Or false. And...
I thought of Athyn Sarethi in all his overbearing kindness, offering me tea in his study as though I belonged there. His daughter, beaming as she threw peas at her mother. Said mother, sniffy when looking at me but definitely softening around her family. And, of course, Varvur, who — recent events had decided me — might in fact not be the most obnoxious person to walk Nirn, even if he had made an excellent impression of such for a long time. In either case, he certainly hadn't deserved what had happened to him with the statue.
If my worst fears were realised, if the Temple's living gods really had murdered me once upon a time, and they found out I was still around — around again? — and took exception... would I be comfortable dragging Sarethi and his family into it?
I didn't even have to ask the question. The answer was all too obvious.
So. Skink-in-Tree's-Shade.
I turned back to the crystal, pressed my hands against its cold surface and prepared to hop along the network all the way to Indoranyon.
Getting to Sadrith Mora took more time than I'd have liked.
Indoranyon wasn't actually that far from the place as the cliff racer flew, roughly the same distance as Ald'ruhn from Andasreth according to my map. The problem being, of course, that I wasn't a cliff racer and did not fly. Sadrith Mora lay on an island, while Indoranyon was on the mainland. Although there were smaller islands in between, I still didn't trust my water-walking spell to hold up for that long. Not with my meagre magicka pool, definitely.
The alternative was retracing the path I'd taken with Tenyeminwe and our two Redorans back in Sun's Dusk, walking to Vos through the Grazelands and taking a boat from there. This was, of course, significantly longer and more risky, especially given the unfortunate state of my luck. Still, it was my best option. Trying to go to any of the cities in western Vvardenfell and take the guild guide network from there was obviously out of the question, and besides, after my experience in Falasmaryon I was reluctant to experiment by jumping to new fortresses and leaving from there. Who knew which ones might be infested by eyeless monstrosities.
Sixth House monstrosities.
... House Dagoth monstrosities.
I swallowed.
I really hoped that those memories were in fact incipient madness. Because otherwise, I'd have to face the fact that somehow, after my death Voryn's entire House had ceased to exist except as the source of an ancient evil and twisted abominations that used to be people. And given what Azura had told me, I had my suspicions as to who Dagoth Ur was.
And how he'd become that way.
But, I told myself sternly, whether or not my old friend had somehow become a mad god of corruption in attempting to avenge me was immaterial right now, especially as there wasn't anything I could do about it one way or another. The point was that really, the road from Indoranyon was my only option for reaching Sadrith Mora anytime soon.
So I took it.
The experience was honestly more surreal than anything else. Up until now, it had been... not easy to shunt Indoril Nerevar's memories aside, but doable. I'd been so immersed in my life as Adryn, frantically trying to deal with Ranis' betrayal and what followed, that everything about it had naturally come to the forefront, the memories of another time and place a mere ominous whisper.
The Grazelands, though? I'd only been there once. Or, perhaps, Adryn had only been there once. Nerevar, now — not only had Nerevar come here regularly as part of my (his) mission to unite the tribes, but areas of the Deshaan plains where the Indoril had grazed our (their, Azura damn it) herds had looked very similar.
Which was to say that I fell naturally into the loping stride of the Chimer nomad trying to cover ground, eyes and ears peeled for threats, Detection spell humming in the back of my mind. I did stumble more often than back then, and several times had to take a sudden break because I'd drastically misjudged my own stamina. Once, I saw a wild guar in the distance and reached backwards to retrieve my bow and arrows, thinking it would make a good dinner. It was only when my hands came back empty that I remembered I'd never shot a bow in my life.
And if I had, it probably wouldn't have gone any better than my attempts with staff-work at Sarethi's. That whole embarrassment was now thrown into stark relief, remembering how I'd blundered around and tripped over my own feet. As though, in fact, my limbs were shorter than I remembered.
I should probably avoid fighting for more reasons than one. I didn't think it would go well for me.
Some quiet part of me had hoped that I'd find my ancestral tomb again, as it had definitely been somewhere around here. The hills remained empty of tomb entrances, however. Little wonder, I supposed, because last time we'd ended up thoroughly off course after trying to follow Nartise's directions and then even more lost after fleeing from the Golden Saint.
Well, I didn't really have the time for side trips, anyway. Urgency beat a drum in my chest. The longer I stayed away, the more time Ranis had to engrave her version of what had happened into the guild books. My only chance to convince Skink-in-Tree's-Shade was if I got Vos, and from there to Sadrith Mora, as quickly as possible.
But for once my luck held. Perhaps there was a bottom to my seemingly inexhaustible well of random misfortune after all, and the events in the Balmora Mages' Guild had made it run dry, I mused when I stood on the ship's deck watching Sadrith Mora approach. Or perhaps Azura had had mercy on-
Memories from one lifetime where I'd been a devout worshipper of Azura, another where I regarded the Aedra with suspicion and the Daedra even more so, and a blurry stretch of time as a dead soul in which Azura made her displeasure with me clear collided. I winced. My headaches had not reappeared ever since I'd woken up that morning — and thinking back on what used to trigger them I had suspicions as to why — but if anything was going to bring them out of their retirement I figured this was a top contender.
I'd sort out the mess currently in my head later, I promised myself silently. For now, my run of luck was a good thing.
Because I'd need every last drop when I spoke to Skink-in-Tree's-Shade.
Finding a way to actually have that conversation was the first obstacle.
I very much doubted I'd be able to just waltz into the Mages' Guild. Even if Ranis hadn't prepared for that, too much time had gone by. I knew how the guild gossip network worked and my expulsion — and the reason for it — would have spread like wildfire. Nothing good awaited me in the direct approach.
Luckily for me, Ajira had once mentioned that Skink-in-Tree's-Shade stayed in a rented room in the Gateway Inn. The only other guild member who actually lived in Sadrith Mora was, of course, the guild guide — everyone else had lodgings in Vivec, Balmora or Ald'ruhn and let themselves be transported there in the morning. I didn't know why Skink-in-Tree's-Shade had chosen differently, especially when I doubted an Argonian had an easy time in a Telvanni city. It played to my advantage, though, because it meant I had a chance to get him alone.
I leaned against a mushroom tree near the entrance to Wolverine Hall and waited.
The Argonian in question finally showed an hour after sunset, or — to put it in temporal units that were easier to grasp — after, among others, the third time I'd rehearsed what I'd been planning to say to him, reciting all the Morrowind ingredients and their alchemical uses I knew twice, a game of imagining the relationships of passerby, and an attempt to recall nursery songs I'd known as a child which I'd aborted when I realised half of them were in Chimeris. It was also after my stomach had begun grumbling. Curse the man for being a workaholic — couldn't he have decided to call it a day a little earlier?
All in all, my relief that the endless waiting period was finally over was so strong that it drowned out my nerves when I tapped Skink-in-Tree's-Shade on the shoulder.
"Hi. Could I have a word, please? And could you put that away?" I added the last part hastily when I saw the red light glowing in his right hand.
Maybe sneaking up on a high-ranking mage hadn't been the best of ideas? How awkward that I only ever seemed to think of these things in hindsight.
"Adryn." A flicker across his eyes — the second pair of eyelids blinking rapidly, I suspected. The fire spell dimmed and vanished. I decided to take this as a good sign. "Yes. I have been hoping to speak with you."
We ended up walking a little ways out of town. Skink suggested Wolverine Hall, claiming they had empty rooms well away from everyone, but I'd shot that down. It seemed far too likely that I'd walk through that gate and never out again. The area outside town was deserted — small wonder, as it was fully dark by now and we were on an island, with no docks on this side. Skink's magelight illuminated mushroom trees and mucksponges next to our path, and in the distance I could hear the waves lapping on the shore.
I considered whether Wolverine Hall might not have been acceptable. Thinking about it now, this setup seemed at least as likely to end with my body in a ditch somewhere.
Skink settled on a tree stump. "So? I am listening."
Luckily, I'd been able to refine my approach on the way through the Grazelands. My speech was, I thought, quite good. Elements of it might have been adapted from one I'd given to the Dres when I'd been trying to unite the Chimer against the Nords. If so, I figured I could rest assured that this was plagiarism nobody would ever be able to prove.
It helped, I thought, that I had something in the way of proof to back things up. Passionate statements about unjust treatment could only get you so far, especially when the topic at hand was not our people's slow grinding death under the boot of the Nord invaders but one apprentice being framed as a spy. But all the notes I'd been keeping on what exactly Ranis had asked of me and when were coming in handy. Skink's crest rose when I showed him the sheets of parchment divided into neat columns, Ranis' little missions spelled out in black and white. He looked over every page for what felt like an eternity, with me nervously shifting from foot to foot beside him.
Finally, he looked back up. "I believe you."
The surge of relief was dizzying. It actually left me a little delirious, or at least that was my explanation for the sudden impulse I had to hug the Argonian. I bit back on it by reminding myself of that fire spell, and how I would most likely become close friends with it if I violated my guild leader's personal space.
Effusive verbal expressions of gratitude would probably be fine, however.
"Thank you-"
Skink held up a hand. "No need. Your story makes sense. Also, after hearing of these events I did my own investigation. What you say matches what the other sources I spoke to told me, while Ranis' version does not." He made a clicking sound with his tongue. "Foolish of her. Letting herself be led around by the nose like this."
Now that was interesting. I'd spent days chewing it over, but I was still no closer to understanding Ranis' actions. "Led around by the nose? What do you mean?"
"What you must understand is that Ranis is convinced you are a Telvanni spy."
I jerked upright. "What? No, that doesn't make sense, didn't you hear me tell you she framed me-"
"I did hear you, yes. But it is nevertheless true. Ranis has been convinced you are a spy for quite some time. She tried to drive you out of the guild by subtle means, but failed. She tried to find enough evidence for this to expel you, but failed again. Most likely she considered killing you, but decided the risk of discovery was too high. And so, in her frustration, she decided to create the evidence for what she was already certain was true."
That... did make more sense of things than any theory I'd come up with, and in particular explained Ranis' demeanour that day without ascribing her superhuman acting skills. There was just one tiny little problem.
"But why on Nirn did she think I was Telvanni in the first place?"
The spines on Skink's chin flexed. "Yes, that is the core question. It is true that Ranis is not... rational, on the subject of Telvanni. Her parents were murdered by a high-ranking member of the House, and she has despised it to the point of blindness since. Still, this conclusion is not one she would have come to on her own. Someone led her there." Skink had been extremely calm and down-to-earth about the whole thing so far, but that was definitely a dramatic pause right there. "The true Telvanni spy."
I blinked. "You mean Gadar?"
Skink let out a hissing noise. "No. Although I do believe you that he is one — I had had suspicions in that direction already, but nothing solid. Rest assured that I will be making use of that information. But Ranis is not close to Tiram Gadar, and this must be someone she speaks with regularly, someone she is not on guard against. Someone with the opportunity to whisper poison into her ear."
"Wait." I couldn't believe my ears. "Wait. Are you saying we have multiple Telvanni agents in the guild?"
"Is it that much of a surprise? The mage-lords are each others' rivals far more than allies. They will not share information, nor trust what is shared. Of course each will want their own source. I have done my best to keep them out, but without real policy changes and background checks there is not much I can do."
I considered asking what on earth was wrong with this place, but figured I wouldn't be getting any useful answers. It couldn't be something in the water, because back in the days of the Chimer we hadn't played these sorts of games. Maybe there had been something to my theory that city living would corrupt us all, although I had to admit I was willing to back down on that one now. At least I certainly didn't want to go back to living in a yurt.
And I could maybe go back to living in Ald'ruhn if I didn't lose track of the conversation now.
"All right, that explains Ranis. But why would the spy care about me? Why go that effort just to get me thrown out?"
"I doubt it had anything to do with you personally," Skink brutally punctured my delusions of importance. "More likely that this was a... test. A trial run, if you will, for how easy Ranis is to influence. I cannot tell you for certain, of course. Not until we find the spy."
And I'd thought I was done with all that.
"Look," I said, hearing the asperity in my tone. "I have spent more time digging through personnel files and listening to gossip and generally invading people's privacy than you would believe, and the only person I found who looked suspicious was Gadar. Unless you want to stick a tail on everyone Ranis talks to, I really don't know how you're planning to dig up this other spy."
And that was assuming that any other spy we managed to catch wasn't a third spy who had nothing to do with the entire matter at all. Given the apparent state of the Mages' Guild, it wouldn't surprise me.
"I agree," Skink said, which was gratifying to hear. "This spy has covered their tracks far better. I doubt we will uncover them searching from within the guild. Our best bet would be to have our own agent within House Telvanni, who could search for their identity."
That, on the other hand, was not gratifying at all. I wanted to go back in time to before I'd heard that sentence.
And Skink wasn't even done yet.
"Someone, perhaps, who on paper has been expelled from the Mages' Guild after being framed for something she did not do. Who would be in need of support, and have a reason to bear a grudge against the guild."
All of a sudden, this whole conversation snapped into a whole new configuration, and oh, how I hated the picture it made.
I looked the Argonian straight in the eye. "You were never planning to reinstate me in the guild and tell Ranis she was wrong." I didn't bother phrasing it as a question. "You heard what happened and immediately thought this was a grand opportunity to uncover this spy, and I could be your tailor-made agent on the inside."
His nod was the lid slamming shut on the coffin of my hopes. "You are clever. That will serve you well."
I was getting angry, I realised. Not the quick firework-flash my temper usually took, exploding in a burst and dimming just as rapidly, but something slower, colder. Something like I had felt for Kagrenac, when I had to muster our armies against my oldest friend because of his insistence on toying with things not meant for us mortals. "My opinion doesn't matter to you at all?"
"If you will allow me to dispense with politeness: no. It does not. We are threatened on all sides. House Telvanni has never liked our presence, but for the first time certain forces on the Council are ready to act on that dislike. We have Imperial sponsorship, but that counts for very little here in Vvardenfell. Protecting our guild from destruction is far more important than letting a single apprentice do what they like best."
What a fancy speech. I wondered if he'd worked on it for as long as I had on mine. The use of 'we' to describe an organisation he was actively barring me from was an especially nice touch. As was framing not wanting to become an undercover agent as immature and selfish, as opposed to a very healthy and understandable desire to avoid a role that could very easily get me killed in an extremely unpleasant way.
(We'd used infiltrators, back in the days of the Council. Their average life expectancy had been very low. And they had been very well-trained, not a random apprentice being thrown into the kagouti's den.)
I wondered if the man's guilt trip would have worked on me before. It was a little frightening to realise that I couldn't actually say. In no time at all, Nerevar's memories in the back of my mind had become familiar to the point where they felt like they had always been a part of me, always there to draw on when needed. I had the terrifying suspicion that they'd changed me, but looking from the inside it was impossible to say for certain — or, if so, how much.
Maybe, just maybe, if I were able to spend time with the ones who knew me best — with Jamie and Ajira, Ervesa who was due back from Ghostgate any day now, Dralsi and Masalinie, perhaps even, though I hated to admit it, Athyn Sarethi — maybe they'd be able to tell me, to pinpoint the places where my character now did not match what it had been a week ago.
I should really find the time to have a long chat with some of them. Except oh, wait.
"Adryn?"
Was he surprised that I wasn't falling over myself to agree to his proposal? It was hard to say, with the low lighting and his motionless face. I wished I were better at reading Argonian facial expressions.
I'd opened my mouth to tell him where, exactly, he could shove this offer of his when I felt a phantom tingling on the middle finger of my right hand, just above the knuckle. The place where, once upon a time, the Moon-and-Star had rested.
It, and its enchantment, were lost to the mists of time, but apparently I'd managed to train my brain into mimicking it. Because that had definitely felt like the warning it used to give me when I was about to say something diplomatically unwise.
Not that I cared much about whether Salamander over here had a good opinion of me, not when mine of him had just reached the sea floor. But there was still the tiny little issue that he was a very powerful mage, I was not, and we were sitting in the wilderness outside town with convenient dumping places for inconvenient dead bodies all around us. Some people didn't take refusal well. I'd rather not find out the hard way whether Lizard was one of them.
"I... I need to think about this. It's all rather sudden."
"Very well." Maybe it was the unfamiliar features, but Gecko seemed entirely unmoved by what was happening. As though he tried to twist apprentices' arms into switching careers to something significantly more likely to land them dead or in a torture room every day. "Once you have thought it over, please contact me at the Gateway Inn. I will tell you more about your role and responsibility as a Mages' Guild agent."
He didn't even consider the possibility that I would refuse. Figured he had me over a barrel, no doubt. I only managed to withstand the temptation to spit in his face by imagining that fire spell making close personal contact with my own.
"Until then, I wish you a pleasant night."
And then he was gone.
I didn't head back to Sadrith Mora myself. For one, the only place I could have stayed was the Gateway Inn as well, and there was a not insignificant chance longer proximity to Frog would result in murder. Probably mine. Besides, now that my income stream had permanently dried up I had to be very careful with my money.
Instead, I made camp there, wishing — like every night so far — that I'd been able to grab that tent from Hlormaren before the Fighter's Guild drove me out. Thank Azura for the warming rune I'd learned from Alandro Sul when we were young, because it had come in very handy these cold nights. Here, at least, there was enough dry wood to build a small fire to warm myself as I ate the last of my dried guar jerky and finished the water in my flask. I'd have to go into town tomorrow if I didn't want to starve.
Among other reasons.
"Vaermina take his mind, " I hissed into the empty air as a last indulgence of my temper. Then I did my best to forcibly calm myself down. It's always best to have a clear mind when you're planning.
As calmly as I could manage, I thought: this was the point where the Mages' Guild and I parted ways.
It wasn't even fear for my own life, although I wouldn't lie and claim that wasn't part of it. Nature's covert agent, I was not, with lying and dissembling appearing nowhere among my skills — as Caius Cosades could attest to. The fact that by now not one but two groups had tried to forcibly make me into one was rather concerning.
But no, the problem lay somewhere else. Somewhere deeper. It lay in the fact that apparently, the Mages' Guild I'd thought I'd joined had never existed.
The guild had saved me, those early days on the island. I'd latched onto Ajira's friendship, the camaraderie of the guild breakfasts, the way people like Estirdalin and Masalinie had immediately tried to help me in their own ways. I'd projected that atmosphere onto the guild as a whole, leadership included, and let it blind me to what was happening. Ranis was an outlier, I'd told myself. Trebonius simply had to be worked around. Blowfish was just too sensitive and prideful. Edwinna, I'd figured, was what a real guild head should be like.
Except that Edwinna was apparently the lone good apple in the basket, the whole guild leadership rotted through. Everyone had told me that Skink-in-Tree's-Shade of Sadrith Mora was another one of the good ones, always helpful, always ready to support apprentices.
I let out a bitter laugh.
No. If this was the true face of the guild, if this was how they treated their juniors when push came to shove...
...then I no longer wanted to be part of it.
I'd thought this moment would feel sad, that I'd grieve for my early life on the island and the hopes I'd invested in the guild. Instead, I just felt light, as though I'd thrown off a burden. Maybe I'd outgrown the guild after all.
So that was one decision made. Unfortunately, it gave rise to another: if not follow Snake's commands, what was I going to do next?
My options had narrowed. The Mages' Guild was now barred to me. The reasons for not seeking out Athyn Sarethi still stood. Without someone powerful to hide behind, I should probably steer clear of the west coast entirely... and with the quarantine, leaving the island would require money and connections I didn't have. I could try to go it alone here on the east coast, but I doubted it would go very well for me. Not when once again I had little more than the clothes on my back, and certainly not the alchemy setup I'd need to be independent. (I briefly mourned my beautiful Master's setup in Ald'ruhn, now beyond my reach.) And, of course, I doubted the Telvanni would be all too amused by an outlander wandering around their lands.
And that wasn't even mentioning the other problem. If you'd asked me a few days ago I'd have said that nothing could possibly overshadow the fact that I'd woken up with an extra lifetime in my head, which simply went to show that the world was in fact infinitely stranger than anything we could dream up. But at some point in the near future I would, in fact, like to start investigating what was going on there, whether I'd gone mad, and what I needed to do about it one way or the other. Which needed more resources than a lone ex-thief (ex-Chimer freedom fighter? Ex-Hortator?) alchemist could dredge up on their own.
I needed an organisation.
Not, I told myself sternly, for companionship. Not after I'd been burned so badly by the guild. But for resources, for support, for structure. For legitimacy as well, here in this part of Vvardenfell where outlanders weren't viewed kindly.
Put in those terms, there was really only one road left to me, wasn't there?
Well. Perhaps Toad would appreciate the irony.
The Council Chambers of House Telvanni opened in the morning not long after dawn, when the shadows stretched long and the light still had a reddish cast. There was a small collection of people already waiting when the door creaked open. All Dunmer, many chatting among themselves in Dunmeris. I spent a moment to be deeply, desperately thankful I'd done my best to learn the language, as I suspected this would be a common experience from now on.
I let the others go first, so it was maybe half an hour before a Dunmer man in brown robes came to where I was sitting.
"What is it you want?" Not what can we help you with, I noted. Judging by his frosty demeanour, that was intentional — any help would be going the other direction.
That was fine. After all, I hadn't been expecting anything else.
"Hi," I said, giving him my very best smile. "I'd like to join House Telvanni."
Notes:
I think pretty much everyone called this development last chapter! but I hope the exact how is still satisfying. (Honestly, if any of you had seen the way I played Morrowind when I was younger, this development would never have been a question - I *always* joined House Telvanni.)
Also, you now have some closure on what exactly happened with Ranis; interested readers may want to reread the first interlude and think about the implications if Gelduin's accomplice in the guild was NOT Tiram Gadar...
Replies to comments may be a bit delayed as I'm going to be fairly busy the next few days! That's also why this chapter is going up a little earlier.
Chapter 39: Epilogue
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
A knock drew Jamie out of her thoughts.
Alone, in the silence of her home (and her home only, it seemed now), she groaned. She thought she could guess who was at her door.
Well. No point in being rude first. These days, Jamexa once of Kvatch did her level best to be rude last.
"Coming!" she called, and levered herself up from her seat.
At the door stood-
"Ajira? And..." What had Ajira's nephew's name been, again? Jamie couldn't remember. "What's going on?"
"Ajira greets the honoured Jamie," Ajira said. "And would be grateful if she and Ma'Zajirr-" that had been it! "-could come inside to talk for a little while, only a little while."
Jamie let her gaze travel over the two figures, eyes narrowed. This wasn't the first, or even the fourth, time that a member of the Mages' Guild had stood at her door demanding entry in recent days. But Ajira gave off a different air from Ranis' haughtiness, Estirdalin's cool smile, Sharn's aura of threat, Folms' of greed. She looked downtrodden — ears flat, whiskers drooping, and green eyes dull. She and her nephew were also heavily laden, Jamie noted, with a fat pack on each pair of shoulders and a large bag at Ajira's side.
Ma'Zajirr shifted from foot to foot. Little wonder. It was cold even for Sun's Dawn, and he — of course — wore no shoes.
Leaving them outside like the others would be cruelty, and cruelty was something she'd done her best to cast aside.
She led the two to the kitchen where, little over a week ago, Adryn had sat that last morning looking like death. Now, her absence let Ajira and her nephew squeeze into the space, although it was still a tight fit for three people.
Jamie had been going to make tea, but before she had a chance she found herself elbowed aside by Ajira, who'd bustled to the hearth, filled the kettle with water from the bucket and then busied herself with the spice rack. Jamie shrugged and let her. In a few minutes the water was boiling, in another Ajira was bringing three cups to the small table.
On taking a sip, Jamie frowned. "Wait. Is this that tea from the Eight Plates that Adryn never shuts up about?"
Ajira lit up. "You recognise it! Ajira thinks she has found the recipe, yes, after many attempts. She was going to tell friend Adryn, but..."
Her voice trailed off. Her whiskers, briefly straight, went back to drooping.
But. Yes, that particular but had been playing a very large role in Jamie's life as well, this past week.
She took another sip of the tea — it really was very good, she'd need to ask Ajira for this much-vaunted recipe — as she steeled herself for the upcoming conversation.
"What brings you here, Ajira?" A neutral enough opening, she thought.
Ajira opened her mouth, but her nephew — who had been fidgeting more and more with impatience during the entire tea-making process — beat her to it.
"Aunt Ajira's left the Mages' Guild! And we're gonna join House Redoran, like heroes!"
"Ma'Zajirr!"
But the kit was undaunted by Ajira's scolding tone. "What? That's right, isn't it?"
"Whether it was right or not is not the issue, the issue is that it is impolite!"
Jamie would not have thought a Khajiit under the age of ten could manage such a thunderous scowl. "Polite means you were just gonna talk around it for ages while I sat here and was bored, Aunt Ajira."
"Ma'Zajirr!"
Jamie decided it was probably best to jump in before this whole meeting became entirely sidetracked. "Leaving the Mages' Guild? Because of what happened to Adryn?"
"Yes." Ajira's voice was gloomy as she turned her mug back and forth between her claws hands. "And not only Ajira. Masalinie may leave as well."
Jamie made a mental note that there might be some significant transport disruptions to Balmora in the near future.
"They talked about it, when Ranis said friend Adryn had been a spy all along. They talked, and agreed they did not believe it. Too many things did not make sense, said Ajira, and Masalinie agreed. What does Jamie think?"
The magelight in the corner had stopped working three days ago, and since the resident with the ability to fix such things was sadly absent and Jamie hadn't felt inclined to ask for guild help, the kitchen had been dim ever since. In the low light Ajira's eyes almost glowed as they stared into Jamie's. Her answer, she knew, would determine the course this conversation took.
But there was only one answer to give.
"She definitely wasn't. I know... certain things about Adryn's past and how she arrived on Vvardenfell. Things she wouldn't want me to share. But trust me when I say they mean she can't possibly be a Telvanni plant."
A Blades agent, now, that was another story entirely. But Jamie had thought about it, after she'd heard the news — after Ranis Athrys had turned up on her doorstep demanding to be allowed to confiscate Adryn's belongings, highly indignant when Jamie turned her away — and no matter what turns and twists she took, she could see no way that one of her fellow involuntary recruits dragged out of Imperial prison could have been an operative for an entirely different power all along. Particularly not one local to Morrowind.
And that wasn't even considering whatever strange tangled history she had with the Thieves' Guild. Jamie didn't know any more than the vaguest outline, but Dralsi — who she suspected did — had outright burst out laughing when informed of Adryn's purported Telvanni ties.
"Interesting. This is almost exactly what Jobasha told Ajira as well." Ajira shook her head. "Masalinie is angry, because she thinks it is unjust. She says it is clear Ranis had already made up her mind, that Adryn had no chance to defend herself. She says she does not want to stay in a guild that would behave like this to her friend."
Jamie was nodding along. "Very understandable. I'd feel the same. Do feel the same."
It had been a while since she'd last run an errand for the Mages' Guild, but she was still a member on paper. Maybe it was time for that to change.
Really, what was with the organisations on this island and flagrant corruption? First the Legion, then the Fighter's Guild, now this. Thank Akatosh for House Redoran and Athyn Sarethi, Jamie thought, making sure there was at least one place on Vvardenfell where this sort of thing was stamped out as it should be. If not for him, Jamie might have tried to swim back to the mainland by now.
Ajira was quiet, Jamie noticed. "You said Masalinie feels that way. You don't?" It was possible a thread of reproof crept into her voice.
The Khajiit heard it. "Ajira," she said, looking squarely at Jamie, "does not have the luxury of making such decisions based on her anger for her friend. Not when she has another mouth to feed."
The two of them glanced at Ma'Zajirr, who was looking increasingly bored with the conversation. Jamie wondered if she needed to find something more active for him to do before he went looking.
For her part, she could feel her cheeks heat at the reproof turned back on her. "Of course. Forgive me. But you're leaving anyway, you said?"
Ajira's ears, which had been drooping, flattened to the sides of her head. She let out a low growl.
"Things have been... uncomfortable, in the guild. Everyone knows Adryn and Ajira were good friends. Many believe in Adryn's guilt. Why, then, should Ajira be innocent?"
"But that's nonsense," Jamie said, startled. "Aren't you from Balmora? And with Ma'Zajirr- and you're Khajiit- "
She broke off abruptly. Was it rude to point out an acquaintance's family history of slavery? The fact that Khajiit and Argonians were probably the least likely races in Tamriel to start spying for the Telvanni?
If so, Ma'Zajirr didn't think so. "See, Aunt Ajira, she thinks it's stupid too! Just let me beat them up for you!"
"We do not use violence to solve our problems, Ma'Zajirr," Ajira told him. It had a well-rehearsed air, as if she'd said this often.
"But... ugh." Ma'Zajirr scratched at the floor sulkily.
Ajira gave him a look, but apparently decided it wasn't worth it, because she continued without scolding him again. "Before, Ranis did not often speak with Ajira. Write these reports, she might say, so you may become Journeyman. Or, please make certain we have enough curatives for the winter illnesses. Once she even praised Ajira, said the alchemy shop had been making much money. But it was rare, usually Ajira was left to her own devices, yes? Now, every day Ranis comes, always with criticisms. Why is Ajira selling these potions and not different ones. Why did Ajira take her lunch break at this time instead of later. Why is she adding a distillation step when brewing wit-strengthening potions — as though Ranis knows anything of alchemy!"
Ajira's fur was bristling. Nobody could show indignation like a Khajiit, Jamie thought.
"Then she started adding requests. You must brew two dozen fire shield potions by tomorrow evening. Foolishness. It will take much time, time away from Ajira's regular tasks, and what does the guild need fire shield potions for? The ingredients are expensive, the guild members do not ask for them, and they do not sell well at all. But Ajira is smart enough to see the trap. If she does not manage to finish in time, Ranis can punish her for disobedience, or claim her incompetent. If she does, the punishment will be for neglecting her regular duties, to brew things no one needs or wants." Ajira spread her hands. "There are many times Ajira cannot afford the luxury of anger or that of pride, it is true. But when she thinks she will be driven out anyway? Then Ajira has the pride to leave on her own terms."
Jamie could appreciate that, even as rage squirmed in her stomach at Ajira's recitation of her treatment. She pushed it down with force. Much though she might wish otherwise, Jamie alone did not have the ability to fix what was wrong with the Mages' Guild. Or the Fighter's Guild, or the Legion.
Besides, from the sounds of it Ajira already had a solution for her problem.
"So you're finally taking Athyn up on his offer to join Redoran instead? Makes sense," Jamie commented. A little mercenary, but Ajira had already made the point that deciding such things based on morality alone wasn't a luxury she had. Besides, Jamie knew she'd been considering it even before.
"Yes." And then Ajira hesitated, claws tapping against her mug, eyes darting from side to side. As though she was unwilling to say something.
"And she wants to ask if we can live with you!"
"Ma'Zajirr!"
"Come on! You were just drawing things out again!"
"Live with me?" Jamie repeated, startled.
Ajira let out a low growl. "Ajira was going to ask politely," she said, glaring at her nephew. He stared back, unrepentant. "And of course she and Ma'Zajirr would leave when Adryn comes back, there is not enough space. But until then... if she is to be Redoran, she needs to live in Ald'ruhn, yes? Especially as the guild may not be happy to offer transport after she leaves it. Jamie would not be alone anymore. And..." A long moment of hesitation. "Ajira thinks... friend Adryn would not mind it, if Ajira used her equipment. With it, Ajira could brew potions to sell. Could pay Jamie, for the favour."
And that, of course, was the heart of things. Ajira was a trained alchemist, of course, but Jamie had watched Adryn struggle and scrape for too long to think that that meant anything on its own. What good was an alchemist without equipment? The greatest genius could not conjure potions from thin air.
She considered taking offence. That Adryn's best and oldest friend on the island had turned up not out of loyalty, not out of a desire to help, but hoping to profit from her misfortune. And yet...
There was agony there, in Ajira's eyes, in the way her shoulders hunched, her arms folded inwards. It was clear as daylight that she hated this at least as much as Jamie.
And, of course, on the other stool — Ma'Zajirr, a slip of brown fur and big green eyes, shifting restlessly where he sat.
There are many times Ajira cannot afford pride, she'd said.
What would Adryn say, Jamie asked herself, and the answer was obvious.
"All right. You can stay. Until Adryn gets back," Jamie said, and the words tasted like ash.
The last anyone had seen of Adryn was when she'd vanished from Hlormaren (that information gleaned from a heated conversation with two of her former colleagues in the Fighter's Guild that had almost come to blows). With every day, the chances of her returning seemed to shrink.
Jamie kept telling herself that Adryn had come through worse situations unscathed, had an incredible ability to land on her feet. That wherever she was, she might be getting herself into trouble but she'd always get out of it as well. Sometimes, she even managed to believe it.
"It'd be useful to have someone else in the house, anyway," Jamie added to distract herself from where her thoughts were going. "Some of your colleagues — former colleagues, I guess I should say — have been very insistent that they think they have some claim to Adryn's things. I've managed to ward them off so far, but I'm concerned they'll turn to less legal means. I'd hate for Adryn to," she swallowed the lump in her throat, "come back, only to find that all her things have been stolen. And I do need to leave town for my duties regularly."
Especially now, with the state of emergency declared and Brara Morvayn's dogged pursuit of the Sixth House beginning to bear its first fruit.
She'd been planning to ask Dralsi on ways to secure the place in her absence — set a thief to catch a thief, and all that. She probably still would, but surely it would be better to have more people around who could catch intruders.
Ma'Zajirr bounced upright from his stool, brandishing a wooden sword Jamie hadn't spotted before with such ferocity the tea mugs almost died a violent death in battle. "I'll protect us! I'll wait and if I see any thieves I'll just-"
"You," Ajira interrupted, "will be going to school."
The sword stopped, hovering in midair. "But Aunt Ajira!" Ma'Zajirr's eyes were wide with betrayal. "You said I didn't have to go to school anymore!"
"Ajira said Ma'Zajirr did not have to go to the school at Fort Moonmoth," Ajira corrected. "As soon as she finds a school in Ald'ruhn, he will go there instead."
"But-" Now tears were brimming in those eyes.
"I can ask Neminda, but I'm pretty sure there's a school for the children of Redoran retainers under Skar." Jamie didn't have much experience with kids, but that had to be a tantrum brewing. Hastily, she went on. "I think they start basic combat training around your age, actually. Elementary drills, footwork, guided sparring, the fundamentals of weapon care, that sort of thing."
The tears were gone as if they'd never been there, Ma'Zajirr looking as though Saturnalia (or whatever the Morrowind equivalent was) had come again. "What- really? Back at Fort Moonmoth we had to read all the time."
"I can't promise there'll be no reading, but... it's Redoran. From what I've heard from the gossip there's a lot more emphasis on combat than typical."
Even with the warning that he wouldn't be escaping book-work entirely, the boy looked appeased, the threat of a tantrum gone for the moment. Jamie turned back to Ajira.
"Shall I help you settle in?"
Some hours later, Jamie sat on the bed in her room, door locked, and considered logistics. Faintly, she could hear Ma'Zajirr's high-pitched voice through the walls. Living with a child would take some getting used to. At least he'd be in school most of the day, most likely, and Ajira had the makings of a very conscientious house-guest so far. Jamie had already had to insist she didn't have to take over all the cleaning, and she suspected she might have to defend her sovereignty in the kitchen as well.
There was, however, the one problem.
She'd decided to risk sharing her... particular circumstances... with Adryn, having known her for a while at that point. Ajira was more of a stranger, and Ma'Zajirr was a child. Children had big mouths, and this was one particular bit of information Jamie had no intention of allowing to get out.
So it stayed secret. Easy enough... when you weren't living with someone. She'd been spoiled, with Adryn. Knowing that she didn't have to fear a single slip-up, the door cracked open while she was bathing, the labels on her medication visible (and she knew there were more reasons than the one why someone might be taking such a very high dose of birth control potions, she knew, but that couldn't stop the fear that someone might see them and know ). Now, she'd have to take care. Make sure she only used the wash-room with its broken lock at times when neither of the other two were around. Perhaps encourage them to visit the communal hot springs instead (which Jamie had heard were far more comfortable, and resigned herself to never being able to find out). Keep her medication in her room, the empty bottles as well instead of putting them with the dirty potion bottles as she had before. Be sure to always dress for outside, just in case.
For a moment, the old anger burned within her. Why should she need to do this? Why was she the one forced to live in fear and tiptoe around her own home? Why, why, why was the world's cruelty heaped on her for the terrible crime of being born with the wrong body?
Jamie shut her eyes. Breathe in. Count to seven... Breathe out. Count to seven... She could almost hear the scratchy voice, its Summerset accent. Clear your mind. Let your worries escape you with your breath.
It was only when she was calm again that she let the meditation lapse.
That anger was poison, she reminded herself. It might taste good going down, but once within it twisted you. There was a reason she'd sworn off it, and that wasn't changed by the fact that she'd have to be a little careful in her home from now on.
Especially because it wouldn't be forever. If Ajira was serious about joining Redoran and seeking duties through it, well... Abelmawia had mentioned, when she'd been in Gnisis, that they were looking for an alchemist. He'd view Ajira as Divines-sent, Jamie was sure. Ma'Zajirr might be an issue, but hadn't he stayed at the school during the week in Balmora as well? Jamie was sure that a similar arrangement could be found here... especially if Athyn was the one asking.
No. Even considering the current chaos in the House caused by the Sixth House's attack on Morvayn Manor — maybe especially considering it — Jamie gave it a few weeks, perhaps two months for the basic Redoran training and then Ajira would most likely be moving out again.
And surely Adryn would be back by then, Jamie told herself, and tried to pretend it didn't sound like a lie.
From the outside, Morvayn Manor looked almost normal. As though any moment now the doors might swing open to show a kitchen-maid heading to the market, the door-guard come to demand who was calling, the son of the family heading out for the evening with his malavis trailing...
Only on closer look did one begin to notice oddities. There were no lights in any of the windows, the ground before the mansion was churned up from countless footsteps, and a strange smell hung in the air — one of burning wood and scorched flesh and blood, with the sweet rot of the Sharmat threaded through it.
Tholer Saryoni pushed open the double doors in silence. Methal followed him.
Inside, the illusion of a working, living noble manor dissolved. There were signs of fighting everywhere, objects knocked over, tapestries ripped to shreds, and although the bodies had been removed there were still dark stains where they had lain. The stench of death and worse was strong enough to choke on.
They paced through the ruined corridors, unspeaking. Methal was tempted to bow his head, but didn't. He shouldn't let himself hide from the consequences of his failure.
Finally, in what must have once been a dining hall, Tholer stopped. Turned to Methal.
"Was there truly no sign."
His old friend's voice was toneless, the words coming out as a statement, not a question. Methal swallowed.
"I thought we had done a complete investigation, screened all manor inhabitants for the Sharmat's influence." From this angle, you could see the door to a storage room, ripped almost off its hinges with broken fragments of wood scattered in the entrance. Some of the manor's people had tried to barricade themselves in, hoping to hold out for help. The Sharmat's creatures had been stronger. "We missed someone, as you can see."
"Who?"
"The son." Oh, how bitter those words tasted. "A true sleeper agent, from the sounds of it. He managed to hide it from our investigator — he was very skilled at playing the fop. But..."
It would be easy to say he was too skilled, too good, we had no chance. A balm for his conscience. But if there was one thing Methal hated above all else, it was lying to himself.
"Sarethi suspected him. He let me in on the investigation his people had been doing earlier. They nearly had him, you know? The net was closing, they uncovered his duplicity and plans just as the attack was beginning. If they'd been a single day faster..."
If, if, if. What a terrible, pointless word, in the face of such devastation.
Tholer heaved a sigh. "I'll have to meet with him, later. Ask him how they came to suspect the man, see if there's anything we can learn from it. We can't afford a mistake like this next time."
The unspoken truth, hovering in the air between them: there would definitely be a next time.
Years upon years he had spent in Lord Vivec's service, keeping the Dunmer people safe by purging Vvardenfell of threat and corruption. Now, it seemed like all his work had been for naught, Dagoth's cultists at every corner, disease stalking the land, ash statues turning up over and over despite their best, most desperate attempts to track them down, and every day the Ghostfence grew weaker.
And now this. An active attack by Dagoth's forces, an entire noble manor subverted and then destroyed, dozens of people dead including Councilor Morvayn.
The first such attack. Certainly not the last.
He had known they would one day be at war against the Sharmat ever since he first joined Temple service. The thing he'd never expected, never dreamed he'd need to dread was that right now, the Sharmat was winning.
Tholer knew it too. He'd never seen his friend look so grim.
Grim, and verging on desperate. Enough that Methal was not quite surprised at his next question.
"The... Adryn. What news of her?"
The chance of anyone listening was astronomically low. Morvayn Manor was a restricted area, now, with no one allowed to enter without Tholer or the Master of the Ald'ruhn Temple's permission. Ordinators were standing guard outside to enforce the perimeter. Still, just to be safe, Methal flicked out his fingers to let a Muffle spell envelop the room.
"An absurdity, actually." Sometimes the universe called for a dramatic pause, and right now it fell to Methal to deliver. It was only when Tholer raised his eyebrows in silent expectation that Methal continued. "Apparently she's been drummed out of the Mages' Guild as a Telvanni spy. Last word of her has her in Sadrith Mora."
Tholer choked, badly enough Methal came over to pound his back. "As a what now?" he wheezed after he finally got his coughing under control.
Methal sympathised. "That was exactly my reaction."
"I... that seems highly unlikely. Never to mention out of character."
Methal hummed in agreement. "I think we've got enough records to show that Nerevar doesn't have what it takes for undercover. Certainly not one who concealed themselves as well as she would have to have done, and at her age. There's variation between incarnations, certainly, but this much?"
"Can you use your contacts to investigate? It would be good to rule it out completely, if we can."
"I'll try, but you know I don't have much in the way of contacts left." For some reason, House Telvanni didn't like it much when you abandoned research, apprentices, retainers and tower to swear a vow of poverty and join the Temple. Both former rivals and friends didn't want to speak with him these days, and most of the few exceptions left were on the mainland, out of reach.
"I'll set young Ervesa on the matter, that has a higher chance to work out. Apparently the two have struck up a relationship."
Surprising news, as the Nerevarines were generally solitary sorts as far as romance was concerned. Once, when they were very drunk, Tholer had admitted he liked to imagine it as the soul still maintaining its loyalty to Almalexia, even while its memories were sealed. Methal himself had privately dismissed this as fanciful nonsense, it seeming far more likely to him that Nerevar simply wasn't particularly inclined towards that sort of thing. As such, the gossip from Ghostgate had been unexpected but very welcome.
Tholer, too, smiled to hear the news. "That's excellent. Anything that ties her closer to us." Something dark drifted over his expression. "If she hasn't been playing us for a fool."
Time for a careful probe. "Are you thinking of disposing of her, if she has been?"
Half a century ago, this wouldn't have even been in question. A Nerevar loyal to Telvanni, of all the Great Houses, who had somehow learned deception, would have been considered far too dangerous to let live.
Half a century ago, Dagoth Ur had been deep in dreamless slumber beneath Red Mountain.
And so Methal wasn't surprised when Tholer shook his head. "No. Not as long as we're losing. At this point I'm willing to try anything to gain an advantage. The Nerevarines have been capable of surprising things in the past, and they have the weight of a Daedric Prince behind them. She may be useful, if only as a distraction. We're leaving her be... unless she attempts to drum up the Ashlanders into outright rebellion against us or the like."
Again, Methal added silently, and pushed Peakstar's face out of his mind.
"Including if she remembers?" That had been the beginning of the end for many Nerevarines past.
Tholer's lips twisted. "We'll give her a chance. But — do you think she has?"
Irritation rose within him, pricking at his temper. Because his first reaction was no, but...
There had been something odd about her, that last meeting (and oh, how he was cursing himself now for not putting more pressure on her to stay). She'd always been skittish, but that morning she'd almost been spooked, her eyes darting between him and the door. Most likely, of course, a side-effect of her helping with the wounded at Morvayn Manor, Nerevar's noble and generous heart burdened by seeing the Sharmat's devastation first-hand, but there was still that other possibility.
He'd been planning to take the time to corner her later so he could speak with her in more depth, make certain the girl really was just twitchy from an awful experience followed by lack of sleep, that there was no sign of Nerevar's memories rushing back in. He hadn't counted on her exile to Azura's Coast that very evening.
"I'm not sure, but on the whole I don't think so." Methal pressed his lips together. "If we're going to keep her alive either way — which I'm fully in favour of, by the way, you know I've always hated the waste — then do you still want me to invest time in figuring out whether she really was a spy?"
Tholer nodded. "I'd still like to know. The more accurate a picture we have of her, the easier it'll be for us." The easier to manipulate her, or blackmail her if necessary, he didn't say.
Methal fully agreed. It was always so pleasant to be of one mind with his friend. "I've been meaning to look more deeply into her past, in particular how she got to Vvardenfell. There's something odd there, I think. I was more focused on getting her into the Temple, but... well, that hasn't exactly turned out as hoped."
How galling the whole thing was. They had been so close, Nerevar's young, moldable new incarnation almost in their grasp, and then she had been snatched away at the eleventh hour. And to Telvanni, of all the places-
"Anyway." Methal flicked his fingers, flicked the frustration away with them. "Now that she's not here, and with the questions about where she came from... it's probably time to dig." His lips thinned. "Unless other duties call me."
Talking with Tholer about Adryn, he'd been able to tune out his surroundings, forget what brought them there. Now, suddenly, they came rushing back in. The destroyed room, the scorch marks on the walls, the aura of death thick enough to choke on.
The monsters in the shape of people he'd had to put down. The dead, so many the crematorium had been working night and day. The agonised look frozen on Morvayn's dead face, when they'd carried him out. His wife's empty eyes, the wail of the baby at her breast.
The frenzied laughter of his son, even as the Ministry of Truth's Inquisitors dragged him away.
Other duties, indeed.
"May Vivec protect us all," Tholer murmured, touching his fingers to his mouth in a sign of prayer.
Methal followed suit. The ritual gestures, repeated so often over so many years, were calming, grounding. Reminded him of that time, so long ago, when he — arrogant mageling that he'd been — had realised that he'd found something grander than himself, that he'd know greater fulfilment in service to Vivec than with all the schemes and ambitions and projects that his House demanded of him put together. He had never once had cause to regret his decision then, never once thought he had judged Vivec's power and worth too high.
That would not change now. He refused to let it.
The Sharmat might be winning now, but Vivec was still the stronger. He let that belief fill him, like a flame within a lantern, a light illuminating the darkness. Perhaps young Adryn might prove a stepping stone to victory, perhaps an obstacle to be brushed away. Time would tell.
No matter what — in the end, the Tribunal would prevail.
By now, the people of Gnisis were fairly content with their Telvanni resident.
It hadn't been so to start. When Baladas Demnevanni had first moved into Arvs-Drelen, there had been no few whispered conversations, hurried late-night councils, and frantic letters sent to Councilor Hlaren Ramoran in Ald'ruhn. But that had been long ago, long enough some of the town's residents hadn't even been born then. Familiarity bred contempt, and Demnevanni had proved himself to be a good neighbour on the whole. Quiet, refraining from the sorts of explosions and disasters they'd feared when he first moved in. Supportive of the local economy, with orders for items ranging from food and drink over furniture to scrolls and soul gems landing at various traders' desks. Willing to help out, as well, as the incidents with the bandits five years ago had proved. The Legion had still been hemming and hawing, the Redoran guard still awaiting reinforcements, when Demnevanni just went to their hide-out and-
Well. There'd been no bandit problem anymore, after that.
So all in all, according to the common opinion, he was a good sort. Kept to himself, didn't make trouble. Almost like a local boy, after so many years, Torosi said — and hadn't her grandfather mentioned there'd been a Demnevanni in town in his day? Suppose he can't help which clan he's born to, grumbled Hetman Abelmawia. Never tries to cheat me, which is more than I can say for half the town, said Shulki.
For any other man, she might have added and he's handsome, to boot! But at the end of the day, he was still Telvanni.
One of the things they had, however, needed to accept had been that on occasion, a Telvanni resident made for strange occurrences.
Such as tonight. Dusk had fallen, only Masser and Secunda illuminating the entrance to Arvs-Drelen, when a woman approached. She was Bosmer, in the agelessness of that race's prime, dressed in netch leathers with a chitin bow slung over her back. Anyone watching would have seen her cast a spell — Mysticism, from the glow — slowly turn around a circle with her eyes darting every which way, then cast a second spell which engraved blue runes on the path before the door. These only shone briefly before a dark shape materialised on them.
The person who'd just teleported in was also a woman, but could not have been more different from her Bosmer companion in all other respects. She was Dunmer, for one, and elderly. Her hair was pure white, her grey skin carved with deep lines that pulled down the corners of her mouth, etched her face into a permanent frown. She was clad in exquisitely embroidered mage robes, the thread shining dimly with enchantment in the dark.
"Well done, Gelduin," she said.
"Thanks, boss. All clear out here. Want me to come with you to scan the inside?"
The Dunmer shook her head. "No. I know Baladas, he won't be having visitors. And I need you to stay and safeguard the entrance."
"Sure thing, boss." Gelduin turned her back to the doorway, eyes scanning the darkness around as though searching for threats.
Behind her, the Dunmer pushed open the door to Arvs-Drelen.
The skeletal door guard took one look at her and let her pass. The Daedroth in the stairwell outright backed away, one giant clawed hand over its eyes, the other outstretched as if to ward her off. (She nodded in satisfaction at the sight. It seemed her last visit had not been forgotten.) The Dwemer centurion was new, but although it turned in her direction it simply made hissing noises and emitted bouts of steam. The workbench next to it covered with scattered cogs and tools said that it was likely yet unfinished.
At this time, the actual resident of the Velothi tower was happily occupied at his desk, poring over a thick book with a glass of amber liquid at his side. The first he knew of the intruder was when the door to the main dome sprang open, glowing slightly purple from an opening spell.
"What's this, then? Who's come uninvite- oh. It's you."
The woman sniffed. "What's with the unimpressed tone? A puny male worm like you should be grovelling out of gratitude that I deigned pay him a visit."
Baladas Demnevanni, Wizard of House Telvanni and local hermit, briefly mourned his plans for a quiet, pleasant evening with a good book, a fire in the hearth and a snifter of comberry brandy. "I take it Gothren and Aryon still haven't caught on?" he asked wearily.
Dratha, herself Telvanni Councilor and ruler of Tel Mora, shook her head. Without waiting to be asked, she walked over and let herself sink into the armchair not far from the desk. With a wave of her hand, a glass floated from the side table to her hand. Another, and the bottle of brandy followed suit.
"Unobservant, those two," she said, her voice suddenly calm and even, a far cry from the foam-flecked rant of before. "You'd think one of them would have asked how I'd come to hold and keep my position if I was truly that irrational. But I suppose there is Therana. A recent change, of course, but it's not as if they would know. Still. I expected better of Aryon, at least."
Baladas drained his glass, then put it down reluctantly. He didn't retrieve the bottle from Dratha's side. With such a guest, it would be a bad idea to cloud his mind any further.
"Isn't he Divayth Fyr's former apprentice? I'm surprised he wouldn't have the brains to see through your act."
"Actually, you're right, that probably explains it. Like master, like apprentice, and you know Divayth has no proper sense for deception at all." Dratha squinted at her glass. "Don't you have any ash yam chips, or something?"
"My apologies for my poor provisioning." Baladas' voice was dripping with irony. "For some reason, I wasn't actually prepared to entertain tonight."
"Bah. No matter. Speaking of Aryon, has he contacted you?"
Baladas turned to stare at his unwelcome visitor. "...no. What, were you expecting him to?"
"He was making noises about recruiting to the Council to fill Firuth's old seat. Feels outnumbered, I suppose. You know you're the best candidate after Divayth, and he'd never take it."
Baladas heaved a sigh.
You would believe, he thought sourly, that the mere act of moving all the way across Vvardenfell into — of all things! — Redoran territory, without so much as a single retainer or apprentice, would make your stance on getting involved in House politics clear to everyone. The stance in question being most easily summed up in a single word: no.
Alas, this simple fact seemed remarkably hard to get through people's heads. Just the other week someone had swanned through his doors without so much as a by-your-leave. Probably a hireling or retainer hoping for status. Thankfully, Baladas hadn't needed to find out as the Daedroth had scared the man off well before he made it to Baladas' work area.
"You should think about it, you know. Gothren's not going to leave you alone any time soon regardless of what you do. Might as well get the power so you can actively work against him, and not just wait for him to send the Morag Tong to your door."
The worst part was that Dratha was right. Right to the point where he was, in fact, actively considering it. Baladas immediately resolved to never let her know, as it could only encourage her.
"You just want another ally yourself," he retorted instead.
"Of course I do." Dratha appeared entirely unashamed of her motives. "Aryon has potential, but I'm not dealing with him until a little of the shine has worn off his coin. Neloth is odious, the less said about Gothren the better, and although Therana used to be an ally worth having that's certainly changed in recent years."
She shot Baladas a penetrating stare at the last. Baladas said nothing, briefly wishing he did have something to nibble on to fill the silence. If Dratha wanted to have a conversation about the nature of Therana's precipitous mental decline and what — or rather, who — was at fault, she'd have to come out and say so directly.
It wasn't even as if Baladas had been involved as such, not when Indari had only told him about the whole thing after the fact.
"You'd be an improvement on a bad lot," Dratha said after a moment, when it was clear Baladas wouldn't be reacting to her probe. "Even if you are a man."
The words were joking in tone, but Baladas wondered. He'd suspected for a while that although Dratha's over-the-top demonstrations of misandry were an act, there was still more truth there than Dratha herself would like to admit.
"A deficit I'm afraid is not within my power to change," he said drily. "But-"
A loud meow broke the silence. Two pairs of eyes jumped to the doorway.
"Well, this is new," Dratha said as she watched the grey cat approach. "Are you keeping pets now, Baladas?"
"Involuntarily, I assure you. It followed me home after the last time I went to Cyrodiil, three years ago. I tried leaving it behind, but... well. I think it can walk through walls." Baladas silently hoped that Dratha hadn't noticed the small food-bowl and water-dish on the other side of the room.
"Of course. I'm sure you fought very hard against keeping it around." Dratha's eyes glittered. The cat looked at her once, then, with an expression of supreme indifference, turned and leapt onto Baladas' lap.
Knowing his dignity was already shattered beyond recovery, Baladas resigned himself to the inevitable and scratched You There behind his ears. "Was there a reason for your visit, Dratha?" he said, hoping to drown out the rumbling purr. "Apart from asking me to join a political body I despise, that is? It's very rare for you to come to call in person."
Long years of acquaintance meant Baladas could accurately interpret the delight in Dratha's eyes: the sight of him petting a cute fuzzy creature was most definitely being stored up so it could be used as blackmail at a later date. Her voice, though, was airy and noncommittal. "Oh, I was here on other business. I wanted to look into a little... project I had going on this side of the island. My agents had it well under control, but sometimes it just needs that personal touch, you know?"
Baladas frowned. "Dratha, you know I need to stay on good terms with Redoran. If you've gone making trouble for them and then run straight to my door after-"
"Oh, don't be such a bore, Baladas." Dratha waved a hand dismissively. "Besides, it's nothing like that. This particular project didn't involve Redoran at all, and has come to a quite satisfactory conclusion without any evidence of my involvement."
Dratha's smile reminded him of one he'd seen on a statue of Clavicus Vile. On second thought, Baladas decided that he didn't want to know the details.
"So afterwards, I thought that since I was here anyway I might as well visit my good friend Nelos's former apprentice."
The silence lengthened. Drew out. Became pregnant with possibility.
Dratha wanted something.
Not to talk him into joining the Council, although it was true that she'd likely be happy if he accepted the position. Not to gossip about Aryon, not to boast about whatever scheme she'd been running that she'd pulled off successfully. No. There was something else she was after, something she'd talked around this long. Now, in just a second, she'd reach for it.
"Say, speaking of Nelos's former apprentices..." Dratha's voice was casual. Baladas wasn't fooled. "You haven't heard from Indari lately, have you?"
And there it was. Small wonder she'd commented on Therana's mental decline.
Well, there was no point in keeping this part secret. "No. Not since she left the last time. I figure she'll turn up again eventually. Why? Have you heard something?"
Baladas asked it for completeness' sake, but in truth he wasn't worried. Once Indari returned to Vvardenfell, this would be her first stop. And as far as her not returning went... Indari and You There were very similar in certain ways, one of them being the way they always landed on their feet. The idea of her actually ending up in serious trouble she couldn't get herself out of on her own was too absurd to contemplate.
And indeed, Dratha shook her head. "No, that's about the last time I saw her as well. I just recently stumbled across something that made me think of her. A… misplaced possession, shall we say, which I imagine she might like returned. And of course the two of you are so close... I figured that if anyone would know where she was, you would."
Baladas ignored the implication beneath that statement with the ease of long practice. "Well, all I can tell you is that she left Vvardenfell the last time twenty... no, twenty-three years ago, it was the same year that they found the second ruin complex on Dagon Fel." The exact reason behind this particular departure was, he decided, one better kept between him and his best friend. But it couldn't do any harm to share... "To Elsweyr, although ancestors only know if she stayed there."
"Elsweyr?" A gleam of interest in Dratha's eyes. Baladas wondered whether he should possibly not have said that after all.
"Yes, although I don't remember the details." He did. "You know her and her trips."
"Of course, of course..." Dratha sighed, then gestured with one hand. Her empty glass floated over to the tray that already bore the dirty plates from Baladas' dinner earlier, neatly stacking itself in one corner. "Well, thank you for telling me. I'd better get going. I need to get back to Tel Mora soon, Sadela never does well if I'm gone for too long."
"It wasn't a pleasure," Baladas said flatly. "Don't come back without announcing yourself properly beforehand."
"Oh, Baladas, don't be such a grouch, " Dratha tutted. "You should really think about getting some retainers. I don't think being a hermit is doing any good for your social skills, and since you don't want slaves having servants is so helpful when it comes to the chores. Or — I know! An apprentice. You've only had the one, and Enar even has his own tower already, it's high time-"
They'd apparently reached the point in the evening where Dratha forgot that Baladas was no longer her good friend the Archmagister's thirteen-year-old apprentice and not particularly receptive to the doling out of life advice. It might have taken longer to get there this time than last, but Baladas was still holding out for the day where it didn't happen at all. "Goodbye, Dratha."
Luckily, seeing a thirteen-year-old or not Dratha apparently picked up on the growing impatience in Baladas' tone. With one last request to let her know if he heard from Indari she was out the door, and it took only a twist of will to make sure his summoned scamp would follow to verify that she left Arvs-Drelen with no diversions.
Baladas let himself sink back into his chair. Despite You There's warm weight dozing on his lap the room seemed somehow larger and emptier without Dratha's presence, and when he tried to get absorbed into the book he'd been reading before she entered he found he couldn't focus. With a sigh, he put it aside and stared across the room.
One question rose inexorably to the surface of his mind.
What did Dratha want with Indari?
The room the servants led Azha to was sumptuously decorated. Red velvet carpet made a plush floor, exquisitely fine tapestries hung on the walls. Paintings, as well, by a renowned Breton artist. The furniture was clearly from High Rock as well, Azha noted, with knotwork carved everywhere there was space for it and velvet cushions on benches and armchairs. Barenziah might have returned to Morrowind after Eadwyre's death, but she'd taken something of Wayrest with her all the same.
And speaking of Barenziah...
"Champion! Do come in! Have a seat, have a seat!" a voice trilled. It was musical, cultured, the accent a mix of Imperial City and Mournhold with a whisper of Riften that gave it an exotic tinge no matter the listener. Azha could feel her teeth grind reflexively at the sound and had to force her jaw to relax.
"Or... Azha? I may call you Azha, surely. After all, we have been through so much together."
"Sure. If I can I call you Barenziah."
Sometimes Azha's teenage self whispered into her ear. Now, for instance, it breathed its shock. How could she speak to such an important person like this? Didn't she know what nobility would do if she didn't treat them with the respect they warranted?
Azha quashed it. That frightened girl lay many years behind her — years she'd spent traipsing up and down Tamriel, rubbing shoulders with people from Emperor Uriel himself all the way down to the lowliest street rat. After all that, she knew better. She could defend herself, for one. And it was a rare, rare noble who was worthy of respect.
Barenziah wasn't in that group. Wariness, now. Barenziah had more than earned her wariness.
A tinkling laugh. "Of course, of course! We veterans of the fight against Jagar Tharn must stick together."
Right.
That.
She considered, for a moment, probing. Oh? I noticed you make much of it in your biography. It must have been so hard, sleeping with Tharn while I was searching through stinking swamps for the Staff of Chaos. After, of course, you were the reason he got his hands on the thing in the first place. And, to really smack the hive, that is, if you are telling the truth. Does anyone really know where Ria got her information from? She certainly didn't tell me .
Azha refrained. She also knew better than to poke a bear with a stick by now. Even if it still smarted to see Barenziah profiting from the whole thing when Ria, beloved Ria, was gone forever.
"Of course."
Azha let herself drop into the chair across from Barenziah, knowing as she did so that she looked desperately out of place in this gilded room, an ageing Redguard spellsword in plain shirt and breeches, like a crow among the peacocks. It was little details like this that made interacting with nobility worth it.
Other nobles might have commented on that. Might have tried to drive home the disparity, to make her feel small and unimportant. Eadwyre certainly would have, back in Wayrest.
Barenziah did not. She'd always been far more dangerous than her husband.
"You look well, Azha! Almost exactly like you did when I saw you last, in fact. What has it been... ten years, now?"
Interesting. She was planning to talk about Wayrest. Azha had half-expected her to pretend that whole interlude had never happened.
As for the years since...
Azha considered what to say.
"So they tell me. I wouldn't know."
It might be possible to keep the whole thing secret. Pretend that she had vanished of her own volition after the Dragon Break, stepping into the shadows on another of the Emperor's missions. Pretend that she hadn't spent what was apparently close to a decade trapped with time shattering around her, hadn't finally been spit out last year to find her bearings in a world that had moved on without her.
But pretending had never been her style.
"Ah, of course. I'd heard you'd run into... trouble, during the Warp." The smile was sympathetic, sincere. "I'd so hoped those were simply unpleasant rumours. I'm very sorry to hear it was the truth."
Azha grunted. "It happens."
Just because she didn't want to lie about the matter didn't mean they had to go and talk about it. A change of subject was called for.
"You haven't changed at all, either."
This was the worst part about interacting with people like Barenziah. At some point, you found yourself sinking to their level.
Because Barenziah had changed. Her hair, dark brown in Wayrest, was pure white now. She looked thinner, frail even, and there were fine wrinkles visible around her eyes and lips that Azha didn't remember.
King Helseth's aged mother, having long since abdicated her throne, now entering the period of her life where she put aside plots and intrigue to focus on when she would finally be getting grandchildren. No threat to anyone at all. Of course.
As it so happened, through a truly absurd series of events in Wayrest that had involved three attempts on her life, a cult of Clavicus Vile and the queen's hairdresser which she had absolutely no desire to recall in detail, Azha had learned that Barenziah's hair had started going white when she wasn't even a century old — in the prime of her life, for a mer — and she'd dyed it ever since. The thinness, the... call it what it was, slight sag in the breast department... were a clever illusion of tailoring. The depth of the wrinkles, Azha suspected, were just an illusion, period. Or perhaps a new lack thereof. Barenziah's vanity hadn't stopped at dyes.
If it bothered Barenziah that her hard work wasn't being recognised, she didn't show it. "You're too kind, really. Shall I order us something to eat? The cook makes the most delightful rechta."
An Elinhir speciality, of course. A subtle dig — see how much I know about you. Azha let it pass. If Barenziah ever stopped needling people, they'd have to have her examined by a healer.
Besides...
"Won't mind if I do." Azha was hungry. And the nice thing about being the Eternal Champion at people was that she knew that Barenziah wouldn't dare poison her.
The rechta showed up in short enough order that it was clear it must have been prepared already. Accompanying them was, of course, a bottle of Tamika's, Azha's favourite wine. What else could it have possibly been.
But she'd take the overly-familiar refreshments because it meant that at least it wasn't hackle-lo tea. She'd drunk enough of the stuff to float an armada the last time she was in Morrowind, and learned it had truly magical properties: somehow, despite the fact that any further escalation should have been impossible, the stuff tasted even more like grass the more she drank of it.
"Exquisite, don't you think?" Barenziah pronounced after taking a sip of the wine. "I do like a good vintage. Dear Helseth had this one imported for me. It's so hard to come by proper alcohol here — I never gained the taste for the local brews, I'll admit."
Neither had Azha. There'd been a reason she'd been drinking hackle-lo tea, back then.
"Even harder since the quarantine. " Barenziah pronounced the words in roughly the same inflection and tone as she might have said dead rat. "That made life quite a bit more difficult for us, you know."
Azha let her fork fall (the rechta was very good, the tender chicken and rich spices bringing back dim memories of festivals as a child) and sighed.
She loved being part of the Blades. She'd spent years running around with only her sword and her spells and Ria's desperate, fading voice in her ear ( one day, she'd promised herself, in those days of youth and innocence when she'd still believed in miracles, one day this will be over, I'll have the Staff and I'll use it to bring her back ). After that, she knew how to appreciate allies, never to mention back-up. She'd built her own, in those long-ago days, found fellow misfits and outcasts who were willing to follow her, but a rag-tag band of adventurers could never compare to an organisation, a brotherhood, a cause.
(Especially after she'd lost them, when the Dragon broke.)
No, Azha loved the Blades, loved being part of something greater than herself. And that was why she was willing to accept these moments as the price: the moments where she would have to take the responsibility for something, even though she did not bear the blame.
Curse Vanus Vantinius for the mess he'd made of things, really.
"The Emperor regrets the trouble the quarantine is causing to the people of Morrowind. If further relief or support is necessary, please let Cavortius Allbutian or Lusica Cinna know and they will do their best to organise the efforts."
Barenziah waved the hand holding her goblet. A practiced motion for all its seeming carelessness, Azha suspected, given that she didn't spill a single drop doing so.
"Oh, don't give me the official line, Azha. I know you're not happy with how things are." Barenziah's voice was coaxing. "Nor am I, for that matter. But I understand why you did it. The latest reports from Vvardenfell are terrifying, to the point where Helseth was already considering something similar when Vanus spoke with him. A more contagious family of diseases related to corprus, which can infect animals as well? People acting out of character, vanishing, with mind control as the suspected cause? A Redoran Councilor murdered and his household decimated in Ald'ruhn? Everything one hears of the Red Mountain area?"
Barenziah gave a delicate shudder at the last. Then she leaned forward, head tilted slightly, eyes gleaming, giving the strangest impression of a bird of prey eyeing a potential meal.
"You didn't see anything like that when you were at Red Mountain, did you?"
And there it was.
Barenziah did have an unerring instinct for people's sore spots. Azha could almost have admired it, if it weren't for the rest of the woman.
"No. The interior was much like the Molag Amur, at the time. The Ghostfence was active, but I thought it was merely ceremonial. And at Red Mountain itself..."
She remembered steeling herself for the greatest battle so far, for something as sprawling as Labyrinthian, as teeming with enemies as Murkwood, as riddled with traps as the Crypt of Hearts.
And been surprised. Oh, there had been traces of magicka around the entrance, remnants of the maze Tharn must have created for her, but the enchantment itself had already dissipated. The door had been open, the corridor clear, the last piece of the Staff of Chaos had lain in the first chamber she came to.
The easiest of the locations by far. She hadn't even had to draw her sword, because she hadn't seen another being the entire time. And yet...
The wisps of magicka that were all that remained of Tharn's web, as though the heady power of the Staff of Chaos had been eaten away by something at Red Mountain. The silence that felt like it wasn't silence, as though any moment she would hear an exhale fit to shake the earth. The suffocating feeling that there was some great and terrible presence here and she must be as quick and quiet as she could lest it catch wind of her.
The easiest of the locations by far, and yet, her bones had known, the most dangerous all the same. She'd breathed a sigh of relief when she'd been able to leave Red Mountain behind her with nothing following.
Nothing following, true. But now, years later, Azha could not shake the fear that she had woken something up.
Barenziah knew it. It was written all over her face. "There was truly nothing at Red Mountain?" she probed. "Nothing you may have... ah... triggered, by accident?"
Azha sighed again. Took another bite of the rechta — it would truly be a shame to let it grow cold — before answering. "What do you want me to say? That I tripped over Dagoth Ur on the way out? Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Maybe Tharn poked him in the eye."
She had to wonder whether Tharn had understood exactly what he'd chosen as the hiding place for the last piece of the Staff. What sort of risk he was running, both to himself and to Morrowind as a whole. How very easily he might never have returned from trying to conceal it. Then again, she was the first person who'd say she'd never understood Jagar Tharn at all.
Besides, this was all old news. "What does it matter now how it happened? Dagoth Ur's awake, one way or the other."
The smile was gone. Azha welcomed the sight. Barenziah was so much more tolerable once she dropped the mask.
"If there's a possibility that the Empire caused it, the Empire should also get involved in fixing it." The queen's eyes narrowed. "And you think so too. Don't you."
And so they'd reached the heart of the matter. Barenziah was clever enough to know that they were doing something — Azha's presence alone was most likely a dead give-away, to someone who knew her the way Barenziah did — but her eyes and ears had not managed to pick up on what exactly the Blades were up to on Vvardenfell. (She'd have to commend Cosades for running such a tight ship, considering the constraints he was working under.) Now the queen was sulking about it — enough to try the direct approach.
Well, let her sulk. Matters on Vvardenfell were delicate enough as it was. Azha wanted Barenziah and her taste for power nowhere near this particular operation.
Azha pushed her empty plate back and let herself sit upright in her chair, back straight and unbending as a katana blade.
"Why, Barenziah, you're very involved in all this. I thought you were retired? Too exhausted after everything that had happened to take back the throne after your uncle's unexpected, unlucky death?" She lifted an eyebrow. "How fortunate that your son was ready and willing to assume it in your place. Such terrible rumours, there were about that! But I know the Emperor would never want to believe such things, not of someone so dedicated to his people's welfare and careful of Imperial interests."
Message sent. We've turned a blind eye to your son assassinating his way to the throne so far. Don't dig into our affairs, or we may change our minds.
Yes. Azha truly, truly loved having the might of the Emperor behind her.
For a moment, Azha thought Barenziah would lose her temper. The way those red eyes narrowed, the way her grip tightened on her goblet, it all spoke of a woman ready to snap. Then the tension dissipated.
"Of course, of course. I'm glad to hear the Emperor knows better than to pay attention to such terrible slander. Poor Helseth deserves better than to be dogged with it." She sipped her wine, eyes sharp. "As for Red Mountain... I was simply hoping to help my son in my own little way! But I suppose we shall simply have to pray for the Tribunal to deliver us from the Sharmat's evil, as they have before."
Message sent, and received.
"Helseth is lucky to have you," Azha said, and meant it.
It was ironic. For all of Barenziah's conniving, in Azha's opinion her single worst trait was her ferocious, devoted love for her children. A statement which might sound peculiar at first, until one considered that as far as ambition, ruthlessness and lack of morals went... well. At least Barenziah had some redeeming features. It was more than she could say for either Morgiah or Helseth.
Barenziah shook her head. "The other way around, my dear. Children are a blessing to their parents. I suppose you wouldn't know, although..." She tapped her chin. "Wasn't there a child you all tried to look after? In Daggerfall, of all places?"
Azha, who'd been taking a sip of the wine, almost choked on it in her shock.
Did Barenziah know?
"Dunmer, too, Carindil mentioned. I offered to take her in, I remember. It wasn't as if you had the time to be taking care of children, with all the work you were doing for the Emperor!" A smile. Azha wondered just how much Barenziah had learned of what they'd done around the Iliac Bay in the decade since the Warp. "But you turned me down. Such a pity! I shudder to think what became of that girl, after. Wouldn't it have been better to leave her with those who could protect her?"
Barenziah didn't know, Azha decided.
If she knew, she wouldn't be approaching it like this. Probably wouldn't be approaching it at all, holding Adryn's presence on Vvardenfell in reserve, a trump to be played at precisely the right moment.
No, this — this was simple spite. Barenziah believed Adryn had vanished, one orphan fading into the seething mass of humanity to the point where there was no tracing her ten years hence. Believed that Azha would be heartbroken, to be reminded. Like a child herself, she was just striking out hoping to hurt.
Good.
"I think," Azha said, "she was happier in Daggerfall."
Adryn and her obliviousness to people's intentions, her tactlessness, her inability not to blurt out whatever she was thinking — that Adryn in Wayrest's palace, stealing out to the garden to pick herbs amid the plots and intrigue. The mental image was absurd, and yet not funny in the slightest.
"Although you're right. We really didn't have the time to care for her. I was against it from the start — there are orphanages for a reason — but Fjaldir and Do'kharza always had more heart than sense."
Oh, she'd railed at them when they'd come back from their trip to consult one of the local witch covens with a little girl trailing after. Azha had never been the biggest fan of children — loud, sticky, overly emotional creatures that they were — but (contrary to what they'd accused her of) that wasn't the reason for her objection. How were they supposed to take care of a child, she'd asked, as agents on the Empire's business, trying to prevent a war? Where were they to find the time? How to keep the danger they lived in from affecting her, to prevent her from being used against them? Better if they'd left her where they found her.
Fjaldir and Do'kharza had been furious, Carindil and Serwen shocked as well. Cold, they'd called her. Cruel. Heartless. It had made for the biggest argument their group had ever seen. The biggest they would ever have save for the very last.
On the topic of Adryn, Azha had at least managed to wrangle a compromise. The girl would stay in the Daggerfall orphanage, aided by regular sizeable donations from their group, and Fjaldir, Do'kharza and any others who were interested could visit her as and when their time permitted. Never mind that such special treatment set her apart, made her the target of enough resentment it had destroyed her chances to make friends at the orphanage, meant she would be last in line for adoption. And in the end Fjaldir had managed to undermine even that solution as well, had moved her into the house they kept with some nonsensical argument about safety while Azha was in Sentinel on a mission. She'd been furious when she returned, but too late to do anything about it.
Barenziah stared at her, mouth hanging slightly open, giving her (Azha thought uncharitably) the look of a concussed cow. This was the most shocked Azha had ever seen her, and she even believed it was honest.
"You..." Uncharacteristically, Barenziah's voice trailed off. She took a moment to rally. "You didn't even care? "
Azha shrugged. "It was an unfortunate situation, true, and it's not as if I disliked her, but we were on vitally important business and really couldn't afford to let ourselves get sidetracked." Something she'd reminded the others of again and again, but it seemed like she'd hardly turned around and someone was occupied saving a cat from a tree or finding a lost doll. Bringing a child home asking to keep her, as if she were some kind of pet, had really been more of the same. "In retrospect, I should have put my foot down and insisted we leave her at the orphanage with no further contact."
The look on Barenziah's face was familiar. It was the same as the one on Fjaldir's, back when she'd first proposed that. Well, it was hardly a wonder. Barenziah, devoted mother who would sacrifice all for her children — of course these opinions made Azha a monster in her eyes.
"Well!" she said after a long moment. "I must say that I wouldn't have expected that of you, Champion." Azha wondered whether the move back to titles was a slip or intentional distancing. Either was possible.
How helpful that she didn't actually care what Barenziah thought of her.
Whether because she'd successfully horrified the woman or because Barenziah had gotten what she'd wanted, the meeting didn't last much longer. Within the hour Azha was back in her room at the inn, having once again rudely turned down the offer of housing her within the palace. The palace guest rooms would of course be far more luxurious, but Azha had never developed the taste for opulence. More to the point, if she were to stay in the palace there'd be no way for her to leave without Barenziah and Helseth knowing about it. They had spies all around the inn too, of course, but as they needed to be discreet and didn't have a guarded perimeter to fall back to Azha could slip past them.
As she might want to, for instance, in order to meet with Cosades. True, it was far harder to manage since the quarantine, but she hoped he'd be able to make it later this week. Much of their work was far too dangerous to be entrusted to messages, encrypted or not, and Azha wanted to hear how their prospectives were coming along.
All of them. Certainly not one in particular.
She sighed, a gusty sound in the silence of the inn room. Flicked out a hand, making the candelabra on the side-table catch flame.
The thing was that she'd been right. As far as Azha had been able to find out after the fact, Adryn had taken no real benefit from their presence. Had been abandoned by them, in the end, as Azha had feared would happen. Given that Adryn seemed to have been claiming to be nineteen when Azha's calculations put her at twenty-one, she might even have been caught up in the Warp herself.
(The last and greatest argument they ever had, the one that destroyed their group and then destroyed them individually. The Mantella lying on the table, everyone with a different opinion on who should have it. Voices raised, tempers high, unforgivable words thrown around. A pair of wide red eyes watching unseen from the doorway.
All the while, time cracking around them, unnoticed.)
No. She'd tell the others as well, if they were here. Nothing good had come of them insisting on making themselves a presence in that girl's life. The best they could have done for her would have been to try to give her a leg up — she did have to admit that horrible village had sounded like no place for an orphan — and then left her be.
When she'd been picking out prospectives from Imperial Prison's logbooks and stumbled over, of all people, Adryn — grown up, desperately traumatised, and perfectly matching their criteria — she'd seen her chance. Better late than never, after all, and this time Fjaldir and Do'kharza weren't here to lose sight of the big picture due to misplaced paternal instincts and whine at Azha until she gave in. This time, she could do things properly.
She'd given Adryn the best help possible, Azha figured. A fresh start in a far-flung corner of the Empire, far away from whatever criminal entanglements she'd apparently had (Azha had never managed to find out the exact details). A fresh start in Morrowind, even, bringing her to her ancestral homeland. Money and a support network, through Cosades. The brotherhood of the Blades that meant so much to Azha, if she took advantage of what Cosades was offering. If not, as long as she didn't actively rebel against them Azha was willing to look the other way. She'd be safe, well-situated, and no longer Azha's problem.
And it wasn't as if she'd be in any real danger, either, Azha told the coldly disapproving Fjaldir in her head. True, the ultimate plan for the prospectives was highly risky, setting them up against not just one mad god, but four. But the whole thing had only ever been meant as a good way to get her out of prison and away from whatever mess she'd landed herself in without pulling her back into Azha's orbit. She'd never been a real candidate in the way of the others.
After all, who would ever buy loud-mouthed, quick-tempered Adryn as Indoril Nerevar reborn?
Beneath Red Mountain lay the remnants of a Dwemer fortress. It had been built in haste and secret, long ago, not for residence nor for war but to house Kagrenac's experiments, back when Kagrenac had still existed to perform them. After his disappearance, silence had been the main resident of its halls, one who left only rarely. Up until recently the last time had been some three decades before, when a mage and a thief had entered in quick succession. They had been quiet, had eschewed the heart-chamber of the fortress where a mad god slumbered... but his sleep had been light. Perhaps one of them had not been quiet enough. Perhaps something else had woken him. At this stage, who could say?
Here and now, the chambers were swarming with life. (It probably ought to be called that.) Ash zombies scuttled around, eyeless and grey-skinned. Ash ghouls, a proboscis emerging from what had once been their face. Ascendant Sleepers, here and there, hulking robed beings buzzing with magicka, overseeing the whole. Three Dunmer, their expressions glazed, seeming unbothered by the monsters around them. In one corner, a corprus beast, whimpering in pain as another Dunmer dug into its flesh.
The centre of the hum of activity was the heart-chamber, the one Jagar Tharn had ignored, Azha fled from. Once, it had held a sleeper.
In fact, it still held a sleeper. The identity had simply changed.
Dagoth Ur looked up at Akulakhan where he stood beside it. The great brass statue had barely been begun, but already it pulsed with an ominous light, already power crackled in the air around it. When it was finished, its might would be unimaginable. Resdayn would be freed, its people brought to the worship of their new god — one free of mortal vices like greed or madness, untainted by Daedric ambitions and plots, created precisely to be the best possible god for the Dunmer people.
Kagrenac, thought the creature that had once been Voryn Dagoth, had had the right idea.
When it was finished, the accursed, lying, treacherous Tribunal would have no chance against it. They would be swept away like dry leaves, their power stolen from them the way they'd stolen it to begin with.
And Nerevar would finally have his revenge.
Notes:
Holy shit. I can't believe I've finished this. I know it's only part 1 and that there's a lot more of Adryn's story yet to come, but still - I have been posting this fic for over a decade, the very first bit of writing I have for it dates back almost twenty years, I'm pretty sure Adryn started taking form in my head when I first played the game... not long after it came out in 2002. At points I really didn't know whether I'd make it even here, to the climax and conclusion of the first arc.
But here we are! Thank you so much to every single one of you who's read, kudosed or commented this fic along the way. Your support has been invaluable in keeping me going this long, and I wouldn't have gotten here without you.
(Also, on the miniscule chance you're reading this - Cal? I cannot thank you enough for acting as a sounding board and cheerleader in those very early days when Adryn's story was just a barely-formed idea in my head, well before I started posting any of it. Without you, I don't think even chapter one would have happened. Sorry for falling out of contact, if you want to catch up sometime just send me an e-mail!)
But of course, Adryn's story isn't over yet by far, I can't just LEAVE her isolated in Telvanni lands with a whole set of new memories in her head, now can I? As such...
Next week, the sequel to this story will go up. I really wanted to make sure all my readers have an easy time transitioning to the new fic. As such, I'm going to keep the weekly updates going for the first two chapters of Sleeper in the Cave: Mage, *maybe* the third (but no guarantees on that one, still a bunch missing to get even the rough draft ready). After that I'll unfortunately be out of pre-written material so we're going to be back to a more infrequent schedule, although I'll do my best to speed things up again... I think all of us would prefer it didn't take me another twenty years to finish book 2!

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sith_shenanigans on Chapter 1 Sun 29 Jun 2025 07:14PM UTC
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Kaz on Chapter 1 Sun 29 Jun 2025 08:06PM UTC
Last Edited Sun 29 Jun 2025 08:45PM UTC
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purpleBookworm (Guest) on Chapter 2 Thu 02 Apr 2015 05:14AM UTC
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Kaz on Chapter 2 Thu 31 Mar 2022 07:37PM UTC
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GalacticHalfling on Chapter 2 Thu 31 Mar 2022 11:14PM UTC
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Estraven85 on Chapter 3 Sun 08 Sep 2019 10:17AM UTC
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mercurybard on Chapter 4 Sat 04 Aug 2012 06:26PM UTC
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