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Connor never wanted to go to college, he was there for Denice and Tony and that was it. He knew that Bitty gave him disappointed looks whenever he was around, but he didn’t care if he hurt his captain’s feelings. Ransom and Holster had been alright, they weren’t interested in getting him involved like Bitty was. With him it was suffocating, when he was constantly not-so-subtly dragged into a conversation, or when he went to the Haus and there was a piece of pie set aside just for him. He knew Bitty had found his family at Samwell, but that’s not what he was there for.
There wasn’t that kind of pressure with the lax bros. They didn’t care that he was from the hockey team, and they didn’t care about how invested he was in their friendship. They were people who he could pass the time with, and no more. It was a nice change of pace.
So he spent a lot of time at the lax house, and ignored the strange looks that Chad X gave him whenever he was around. Connor assumed it was a soulmate thing. Whenever the topic was brought up, Chad would rush out of the room. He didn’t care. If Chad ever said something about how Whiskey had two, he wouldn’t hesitate to beat his ass, but it hadn’t happened yet, so he let him be uncomfortable from a distance. He learned a long time ago that not everyone was as accepting of his situation as the hockey team was.
—-
It was the one party of the year that Bitty had said not to go to. But he honestly didn’t give a fuck if Bitty wanted him to be there or not. His friends had invited him and he was going to have some fucking fun, damn it.
As he walked, a message appeared on his arm. He smiled softly to himself, before grabbing his pen. The smile quickly fell when he saw the content of the message.
Conner, where are you? Bitty wants to know if you’re coming to team movie night?
Tell him it’s none of his fucking business
Are you okay? Do you want Denise and me to come over? We’ve all seen the Lion King hundreds of times
Oh, no. You know how she hates parties. I wouldn’t purposely subject her to something like this
Connor. Don’t tell me you’re going to that party that Bitty told us all not to go to.
Don’t tell Bitty. I won’t get in trouble, promise
He hesitated for a second, before adding
I love you guys
You’re a fucking idiot
I love you too
Stay safe. I love you. Tell us if you need anything?
Yeah, okay.
When he returned his pen to his pocket, he noticed Chad X quickly look away. Whiskey shook his head and entered the building. He was going to have fun, judgemental lax bros or not.
---
He was enjoying the feeling of rebellion more than the party itself. He wasn’t one for partying, he associated them with Denice flinching at every light and sound, pressing herself into Connor’s side after only a few hours, asking him to take her back to her dorm. He didn’t know why she insisted on going to the Kegsters if they were so painful to her, but she was still determined to attend as many as she could.
Knowing that she was safe at the Haus, probably drifting off on Tony, made him feel a lot more comfortable about actually letting loose for once. He saw the waffles come in about half an hour after he did, and smiled to himself. They idolized Bitty, but still weren’t listening to him. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who managed to escape his mother henning.
So, he was having fun. Until an hour and a half into the party when Chad X cornered him in the basement.
“Whiskey.” He started, having to lean in close to be heard over all the noise.
“Chad.” Whiskey replied, coldly. “What is it?”
“It’s...about your soulmates.”
“Figured. If you have a problem with the fact that I have two, I will not hesitate to deck you right here, right now, okay?” He stared Chad down.
“No, no, that’s not it.” Chad sounded desperate, and he was confused. Why would he sound so genuinely upset about this? Connor sighed, and decided to hear him out.
“What is it then?”
“It’s. Uhm. Fuck. I.” Chad stumbled over his words for a few seconds.
“Dude, just spit it out.” Connor was losing his patience.
“Well. Whiskey. I. Fuck it.” Chad sighed, and rolled up the sleeve to the hoodie. There were some messages from Chad’s soulmate on it, and he didn’t think much of it until he realized that the handwriting was awfully familiar.
Tell him it’s none of his fucking business
Oh, no. You know she hates parties. I wouldn’t purposely subject her to something like this
Don’t tell Bitty. I won’t get in trouble, promise
I love you guys
Yeah, okay.
He stared for a second. It was weird seeing only his side of the messages. Then it fully processed.
He was Chad’s soulmate. But Chad wasn’t his soulmate. He was pretty sure Chad saw the realization in his eyes, because he began talking.
“I realized real quickly that I was getting messages from you, but you weren’t getting messages from me. I was devastated. I had to watch my soulmate fall in love with two people knowing I couldn’t communicate with him whatever I did. It broke me, Connor. I had to watch everyone else form a connection with the person they were supposedly made for, and just stand there while I tried and tried and couldn’t get through to you.”
“Chad, fuck, what do you want me to say? You know that soul bonds aren’t always perfect. I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“I want you to leave them.” Chad looked suddenly very determined.
“What?!” Whiskey took a step back, astonished.
“You heard me. It isn’t fair. You get two. Why do you get two and I only get one that I don’t even have a proper connection to? You can make it fair, Connor, just leave them.”
“No, no, I can’t. They’re the best thing about my life, I can’t, Chad. I can’t and I don’t want to.” He took another step back, and found himself pressed into the wall.
“They’ll be fine, they’ll have each other. They’ll be fine.” Chad stepped back into Connor’s bubble.
“No, I said no!” Whiskey tried to shove him away, but it was too late. Chad had him pressed against the wall, lips on his. He took the opportunity to shove Chad to the ground before looking up, preparing to leave.
He made eye contact with Bitty, who was holding Louis by the shirt as he stared. Connor felt his stomach drop. What would Bitty think of him now? He wasn’t a fucking cheater, he wasn’t. But Bitty didn’t know that. Bitty didn’t hear the conversation. He probably thought that was why Connor was distancing himself from the hockey team. Because he was cheating on his partners.
Connor felt like he was going to throw up. He ran out of the building. He felt Bitty’s hand graze against his t-shirt but kept running. And running and running. And didn’t stop until he was in his dorm, slamming the door shut and sliding down against the wall.
He couldn’t feel his face, or his feet. He barely made it to the bathroom before he actually threw up. He didn’t know when he actually crawled into bed, just knew that his jeans were still on and nothing felt real.
---
The first five seconds after he woke up were bliss. Then the memories of the night before crawled back and the anxiety started creeping in again. He sat up, and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.
He looked like shit. His hair was sticking up in every direction, and it was obvious that he was crying. He took a deep breath. He needed someone he could talk to, someone understanding enough to hear his story and give him advice to the best of their ability. Someone who genuinely cared about him.
He threw on an SMH hoodie and his sneakers from the night before and was running to the Haus before he could even process where he was going.
He was knocking on Bitty’s door, a little more frantically than necessary, but he honestly felt like he was going to throw up again.
“Goodness, would it kill you boys to knock a little gentler? We had a late night last- Oh my god. Whiskey, honey, come in, what’s wrong?” Bitty ushered him to his bed, locking the door behind them while Whiskey tried his hardest to breathe. He didn’t know where to start.
“I-I didn’t want to kiss him.” He started. Bitty just nodded, and it was exactly the right amount of encouragement he needed to continue. “I didn’t want to. I told him no, but he didn’t listen. I’m his soulmate. But he’s not mine.” He had to take another deep breath before he continued.
“He wanted me to leave Denice and Tony for him. I would never, they’re the most important people to me and I told him that, but he kept pressing. And now I don’t know what to do.” Bitty rubbed his back as he talked, and soon Connor felt much better. It was obvious that Bitty had experience with helping people through panic attacks.
“Well, I’ll be honest. I don’t know what to do either. But, I know someone who does. Would you like to talk to Jack? You two are a lot more similar than you’d think.” Bitty was already reaching for his phone as he spoke.
“Do you think so? You think he would know what to do?” Connor asked.
“I know so.” Bitty smiled at him, before calling a number on his phone.
“Hey, sweetpea! No, no, nothing wrong with me. Mhm. Yeah. It’s Whiskey. Oh, no. He’s here right now, do you mind talking with him? Perfect. I love you too.” Bitty smiled, handed Conner the phone, and quickly left the room. He was thankful for the privacy.
“So, eugh, Whisk. What happened?” And Connor didn’t know what it was about Jack, but he felt so comfortable, he opened up and told him everything. And when he was done with his story, he could hear Jack laugh softly.
“Well, I know why Bits sent you to me.”
“Why?”
“It’s no secret that Bitty and I are soulmates. But, things weren’t always so crystal clear. You know, when you’re a little boy in the south and you first find out that your soulmate is a boy, your first instinct is to ignore him. And that’s what Bittle did, he ignored my messages for years. He didn’t talk to me once until my OD. I was convinced he was dead. I was so mad at him for ignoring me, I wasn’t even nice to him at first when we finally did meet.”
“Oh, wow,” Connor whispered to himself. He didn’t know that. He thought that Bitty and Jack had been joined at the hip since practically birth. They were textbook soulmates.
“Yeah, so imagine how relieved I was when I got to the Q and met Kenny-uh, Kent. Parson. To find out that someone had been getting your messages the whole time, just that you weren’t getting theirs? You know the soul bonds aren’t perfect. The links mess up sometimes. Maybe they don’t attach properly, maybe they attach to the wrong people. It’s rare, but it happens.”
Connor knew. This wasn’t his first experience with a faulty bond. He knew Chowder’s soulmate had died when he was young, and Farmer’s had left her when she came out as trans. But if you had to ask Connor, he was pretty sure that Chowder and Farmer were soulmates.
“After my overdose, I couldn’t help it. I knew my messages weren’t going anywhere but to Parse, but I had to try again. I talked all about my overdose, how I had legally died for a few minutes. I wrote it all. That was the first time Bittle ever responded. I was so happy. But Parse was furious. He wouldn’t stop pressing, insisting that he was my soulmate. I told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore, again and again. He didn’t listen, he just kept pushing. I had to cut him off. He still tries sometimes, to get me to leave Bittle. I think he’s realized that it’s not going to happen at this point.”
“Holy shit Jack. I didn’t know.” Connor was stunned.
“Yeah, not many people do. It’s not a story I like to tell. But, you called for advice, not a story. If you want my best advice, tell Ford and Tango what happened, cut Chad X out of your life for good, and try to continue as normal. It’ll be weird at first, knowing that someone else is reading your messages. But, if it helps, he was reading your messages before. The soul bond will break eventually. You know, the faulty ones don’t stay together for long after the connected people meet.”
“They don’t?” Connor asked.
“No. Once people who are improperly connected meet, it’s only a matter of time before the bonds break. Only correctly connected bonds last forever. Of course, the faulty bonds will stay if you spend time with each other, so try and stay away from Chad.”
“Wow, Jack, how do you know all of this?”
“Years of research, and going through the exact same thing you are.”
“So. Parson. He doesn’t get your messages anymore?” Connor asked.
“No. He stopped getting them right at the start of my frog year. Anyways, you need to talk to Ford and Tango. You can’t hide this from them.”
“Oh, no, I wasn’t planning on it. Uhm, thanks, Jack.”
“Don’t worry about it. Call anytime you need, okay?”
“Yeah, of course. Seeya.”
“Bye.”
Connor took a deep breath. Things would be okay.