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Paul and Emma had been going out for a few months. They were as happy as could be. As it turns out, having someone to hold and love does wonders for the state of your mental health. Emma did her best to acknowledge and understand when Paul was overstimulated. He listened to her when she had a bad day. They weren’t exactly perfect, but they were enough for each other.
At the office, Paul had a good life. He had Ted who although, obnoxious and teasing, was his friend. Charlotte who he related to quite a bit. They ate lunch together and bonded over Ted’s bullshit and their lunch. Melissa was considerably younger than everyone at the office. She was nineteen. She was closer to Paul than the rest because she was friends with Alice before she moved away. Paul had actually gotten her the job at CCRP technical. Well, an internship that turned into a job. They didn’t spend as much time together as they used to but that was okay. Mr. Davidson was something else. He tried to be cool and hip with his staff. However, that resulted in a tendency to overshare about his personal life. There were too many conversations that ended in everyone being scarred for life.
Lastly, there was Bill. He and Paul had been friends since high school. They did go out but it didn’t last. Life got in the way and they decided that they were better as friends. Which they really, truly believed they were. Then why did Paul still feel the reminisce of the feelings he felt back then? He was with Emma and they were happy. He loved her- not that he would admit it. He wanted to wait until she was ready to say it. However, Bill made him happy as well. He almost missed what they once had. Being reckless teenagers sneaking around, feeling like they were on top of the world. He missed Bill sometimes. That was the truth. Something told Paul that Bill might want the same thing. It might have been subtle flirting in the break room or it could’ve been blatantly obvious and Paul just didn’t get it.
The thought about wanting to be in a romantic relationship with Bill and Emma plagued Paul’s thoughts for weeks. He did what little research he could get away with at work before Mr. Davidson would inevitably catch him. He just wanted to know what was wrong with him. Why was he feeling like this about two people? His best friend and his girlfriend. The whole ideal felt a little bit wrong but also so right. Eventually he stumbled across the right word. Polyamorous. But, Bill was gay and Emma had expressed her own monogamy quite a lot. They wouldn’t function well. It hurt his head a little to think about. The more and more research he did, the more things became clearer but others more confusing. Eventually, he found a descriptor. A vee relationship- a relationship where two people dated one person without them dating each other. He was happy he found the right labels but now to talk about them. Him and Emma had been dating for nearly six months. He decided that she was the better person to talk to first.
They were at home, eating takeout Chinese food on the couch and watching some romcom. Paul kept looking at her like she was the only important person in the world and looking away when he remembered Bill.
“Hey Em…” he sighed out awkwardly. This was so hard to say. Why couldn’t he just say it? He was rubbing his thumb across his fingers. His stim for anxious situations.
“What’s up?” she replied, putting her plate down on the coffee table in front of them.
“I- I really like you, Emma.”
“I’d hope so, Paul. We live together.” she chuckled.
“Right. Um. But- I’ve been,” Why were words so hard? He took a deep breath trying to recalculate his brain. “So, you know how Bill and I have been friends since high school?”
“Yeah. What about it?”
“Well… we kinda went out… during senior year and then a little bit into freshman year of college. But broke it off cause we decided we were better as friends.”
“Paul… it’s okay. You’re allowed to have past relationships.”
“That’s not it. I do really really really like you. Not quite sure if it’s love but like a really strong like and I want you to know that because I think I also like Bill. Still like Bill? I don’t know I like Bill too and I just-” he was speaking so fast and he couldn’t even follow his thoughts.
“Okay bud, take a few breaths please.” Emma was concerned. She knew he got worked up easily, but this was a whole new level of speed for his mouth. “Feel better?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Now explain, slowly, what you were gonna say about Bill.”
“Okay.” Paul took a final deep breath before explaining, “So I really really like you, maybe even love, but I also like Bill and I maybe interested in being in a relationship with him and you. But like, if you aren’t cool with that, I can just forget it.”
“Hey, if you wanna be in a relationship with Bill go for it. Just, let me know, okay?”
“Okay.” he nodded.
“I support you, Paul. In whatever you do. Even if that’s finding a boyfriend.” she smiled. Something about her smile just made him feel completely better and calmer about the situation.
“I do wanna talk about it with Bill and you. Like over dinner or something.”
“Okay cool.” she went to kiss his cheek but he moved connecting their lips for a small peck.
“Thank you, Em.”
Within the following week, the three all went out to dinner. Despite Paul’s not so subtle flirting with Bill, he still found it a little weird that he was invited to dinner with the couple. They had decided to go out for dinner. It made Paul a little less anxious and if things went South, hopefully it wouldn’t be a huge deal if they were in public.
So here they were at Denny’s sitting in a booth. Paul and Emma got there at 5:30, half an hour before the agreed meeting time. Paul was sitting on the inside of the booth, knowing that if he didn’t he’d just run to the bathroom at the first sign of trouble… or as soon as Bill arrived. He lightly banged his fists together, staring directly ahead while waiting for Bill to arrive. Emma caught notice of this. It wasn’t like she had never seen him stim before, it was just the rate of which it was happening.
“Paul… you good?” she asked. He continued to stare directly forward.
“I am terrific. I’ve never been this happy in my life. What would make you think that?” his breath and speech syncopated.
“You’re banging your fists together at the speed of light.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize I was doing that.” he continued to do so, no sign of stopping in sight.
Emma sighed. Her boyfriend was stressed. Which was fair of him, he was just also starting to stress her out too. “Hey, look at me please.” she said softly. He slowly turned his head toward her. “Everything is going to be okay. Bill has been your best friend since high school. If he doesn’t say yes, I doubt things are going to change. If he does, then things change for the better.”
“Yeah. Yeah you’re right.” he nodded. His stimming slowed down.
Then, as if by cue of them talking about him, Bill entered the restaurant. He sat down across from them. The atmosphere was awkward. They made small talk until dinner was served. Denny’s was the best option for dinner as it served Paul’s comfort food.
“Y’know,” Bill began speaking, looking up from his plate and placing his cutlery down, “at first I found it a little weird that you guys invited me out for dinner but this has been really nice. I usually don’t get out unless Alice is in town.”
“Yeah right.” Emma replied.
“Um… Bill… the reason why I- why Emma and I-” Paul stammered over his words. What was the right thing to say? He was asking his best friend to date him. It was really, really hard to communicate.
“Take your time, Paul.” the man sitting across assured. Paul nodded in response, taking a breath. He rubbed his knuckles, rethinking what he was going to say. He found a tear in the seat across from him and focused all his attention on that.
“So, as you know, Emma and I have been dating for awhile.”
“Yes.”
“Right.” a glance and half smile at the other before returning to the tear. “So… I had been thinking about that a lot. That and um, you.” he said, banging his fists together lightly. “I was thinking about how… we used to go out… and that randomly those feelings kinda came back. Don’t get me wrong, I really really like Emma. I just happen to also like you. Like really, really like you. This is really hard to say, I’m sorry. I just- I was just wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend or something like that. Emma would still be my girlfriend. But you two wouldn’t have to date. The official- kind of official, I guess, not really but kind of. The most used term is a ‘Vee’ relationship. It’s where two people date one person without dating each other. You two can totally not date each other or even have anything to do with each other… other than me I guess. Feel free to say no. In fact, I kind of expect you to. This was kind of stupid I’m sorry-” his words were slurring together.
“Paul.” Bill said, pulling him out of the reeling mess he was going into. He was banging his fists hard and losing a lot of breath.
“Yeah?” he glanced over at Bill before returning to the spot beside his head.
“So I didn’t understand a lot of that, which is fair. You are very stressed. From what I gather, you like me in a romantic sense and are interested in a relationship.”
“Yes.” he couldn’t get more out. He wanted someone else to talk.
“However, you would be maintaining your romantic relationship with Emma.”
“Yes.”
Bill switched his focus to Emma, who was drinking her wine and keeping a hand on Paul’s thigh to calm him down. “You guys talked about this, right?”
She placed her glass down. “Yeah. I’m cool with it.”
“Okay. As long as you’re okay with it then, Paul I would love to be your boyfriend.”
It wasn’t that Paul wasn’t paying attention. He was. He just also was unbelievably stressed about the whole thing that he kind of zoned out. As soon as Bill said his name, he was brought back into the conversation, missing the end of his statement. “What?” he squeaked out.
“I’d love to be your boyfriend.” Bill looked at him with sincerity. He did love Paul. In all honesty, he never stopped.
“Okay.” Paul nodded. “Okay. Okay.” he repeated the word out of comfort.
The awkward atmosphere left the room. The three sat and talked about what their relationship would be exactly. It was nice. Paul was immediately less stressed than before. His partners helped him calm down. It was nice knowing that they were there to help him through the entire difficult conversation. But that was over now. He had a boyfriend and a girlfriend that cared about him. Eventually, they all decided that they should go home. After paying, they all walked out of the restaurant and to Bill’s car first.
“Thanks for walking me to my car.” Bill smiled.
“Of course. See you tomorrow, Bill.”
“See you.” he leaned over a kissed Paul’s cheek before getting into his car. Paul blushed, waving goodbye.
Emma took Paul’s hand as they began the walk to their own car. After taking a few steps away Emma smirked. “Someone's in love.” she teased. Which made Paul blush harder.
“Shut up.” he laughed. He was embarrassed. Regardless, he moved down to kiss Emma’s cheek. Everything was okay. Paul was happier than he had been in awhile. A huge weight had been lifted off his shoulder and he could relax.