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Kalim woke with a jolt.
He heaved in a breath, wiping away the sweat forming on his head. He reached for his alarm, his vision still blurry from drowsiness. It's only 2:30...
He laid back on his bed, turning to his side. Trying to ignore his heart beating erratically, he closed his eyes. But no matter how hard he tried, he can't seem to block out his thoughts.
Jamil, laying on his bed. Far too pale, the boy's barely breathing.
Everyday Kalim stayed by his side, crying and waiting for Jamil's wake.
Why did he have to suffer?
That poison was meant for him.
"Please... Don't leave me..."
Kalim shuffled further into his blanket. Why now? He hadn't dreamt of that day in years. So why...
Can't let you forget your failures, right?
Stupid thoughts.
He continued his tossing and turning, sleep refusing to come. He groaned, giving up at this point. He grabbed his alarm again. 2:35 a.m. It's only been 5 minutes?
With a sigh, he got up and stretched his arms out. Jamil once said exercises could help people sleep better, but he's not in the mood for it.
The images are still too clear.
"He might not make it."
He will.
"He's just fulfilling his role as a servant."
That's enough.
"He's replaceable. Some might even do better than he did."
Shut up!
Kalim held onto the door's knob. He dug his nails into his palm.
He wants to see Jamil. Maybe then he'll feel better.
"It's not the same, playing with my brothers and sisters without you."
"They asked where you were. I told them that you're sick... But you're gonna be fine, right?"
"I guess... you're still tired, huh? That's okay! Rest lots and lots so we can play together again!"
"...I- We really miss you... Please wake up soon..."
Kalim hesitated.
He's right in front of Jamil's room. All he had to do was knock and enter, right? Simple.
But it's too early for anyone to be awake. Do you really want to bother him, when he could sleep before the sun rises instead?
He sighed. He's been standing in front of the door for a few minutes by now, and he still can't decide on what he should do.
I don't want to annoy him with my problems.
As he was about to turn back, the door let out a soft creak.
"...Kalim?"
"Ah! Jamil!" Then he covered his mouth, remembering the rest of the dorm students are currently asleep. His face flush from embarrassment. He needs to learn on keeping his volume checked. "I mean... what are you doing up this late?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Jamil crossed his arms, his features groggy. "Did you think that I wouldn't hear footsteps outside my own room."
Kalim cursed internally. He was sure he's being quiet, being careful and all. Then again, Jamil had always been the 'sleep with one eye open' kind of guy.
"As expected of Jamil... Nothing gets past you, huh?"
The two stood awkwardly like that for a while, Kalim fiddling with his thumbs while Jamil looked at him as best he can, with an incredulous expression. The latter eventually gave up, rubbing his temple, "Mind explaining why you're here, then? Do you need me to infuse some tea for you?"
"No, I just," the dorm leader's gaze dropped to the floor, "Wanted to see you. That's all."
"You wanted to see me?"
"...yes?"
Another moment of silence.
Kalim shifted, Jamil's stare boring holes into him. "This is dumb. I'm sorry for disturbing you, I'll go back to my room and we can pretend this never happened-"
Just when he was about to leave, Jamil grabbed hold of Kalim's wrist, pulling him in. Kalim looked up at him, confusion evident, "What are you-"
"Don't talk like that," was all Jamil said before dragging him into his room.
"Today's hotter than usual."
"We would've gone to the pool. I would jump in, and you'd yell at me to be more careful."
"Then I'd splash you, or drag you in the water. You'd get mad at me, and all I'd do is laugh it off."
"Hey... After you wake up, let's go to the pool again, yeah? ...I miss you. Ha... How many times have I said that by now?"
"...let's talk again tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Jamil."
Kalim stood by Jamil's bed, unsure on what he should do. Jamil crawled into his bed, shuffling further to the edge of the bed. He patted the space beside him.
"Uh..."
Jamil narrowed his eyes, bags apparent under them. "We have around 5 hours of sleep left. Lay down."
"Oh!"
Kalim climbed in, resting his head on the pillow. Like this, he's practically staring directly at Jamil's face. Heat rose up his cheeks.
"Is something the matter?"
Kalim wouldn't dare glance up, hiding his face in the blanket. "I thought you wanted to sleep."
"I do, but," Jamil held onto his waist, pulling him closer. "You seem troubled."
He's so close! "I- It's nothing, you don't have to worry about it."
Jamil cracked an eye open, as if saying 'it's my job to worry'.
Kalim sighed. "Just a nightmare. It's fine."
"Kalim..."
"...it's about that time you got poisoned, when it should've been me."
"Oh."
The silence was heavy. Kalim shut his eyes. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything after all. Can't do anything right, can you?
Jamil tucked him under his chin. Kalim couldn't stop his heart from racing, almost like he could implode any time soon.
"I'm fine. I'm here, with you. Not paralysed on some bed. Besides," Jamil smiled, "It'll take more than some poison to get rid of me."
Kalim curled into Jamil's chest, letting out a soft laugh, "Of course. How can I forget."
There was no reply other than a faint breath. Jamil must've fallen asleep, he thought. The constant rise and fall of Jamil's chest, the rhythmic beating of his heart...
It's soothing.
Kalim closed his eyes, and this time sleep comes.
He dreamt of the night sky, the cold air rushing around him, and a hand in his.
"Jamil?"
The child, while still recovering, managed to let out a wobbly smile. "Kalim."
Kalim launched a hug right at him, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Jamil! You're awake! I was so scared, I thought that you'd never... I'm so glad you're okay!"
Jamil sighed, "You needn't worry about me, you know."
Kalim pouted, his eyes red from crying, "Of course I will! You're my friend!"
There was an odd look on Jamil's face, but it passed as quickly as it appeared. "I see. Thank you, Kalim."
"Please be more careful, I don't want you to get hurt again..."
"Don't worry," Jamil patted his liege's head, ruffling white tufts of hair, "It'll take more than some poison to get rid of me."
(When morning comes, Jamil decided screaming into his hands is the best thing to do immediately after he wakes.
This somehow does not alert the sleeping boy beside him.)