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All is quiet in the lab except for the rhythmic tapping of computer keys and the constant low hum of computer monitors processing information. Kisuke hunches over his desk, typing up his latest report on the wild Sugar Bears that he’d stumbled upon a month ago while on a trip to the snowy mountains of the Himalayan Range. They were surprisingly shy for bears—it had taken Kisuke a handful of candies to lure them to his makeshift campsite. Bears eating candy instead of meat or fish, hence the name Sugar Bears. The world is full of mysterious things.
A screechy static noise breaks him from his thoughts and he looks around to find his research team in a panic over a destroyed computer. He saves his report and gets up to check on the issue.
“What happened?” he asks, examining the device. Half the screen is striped black and white, the other half shows a frozen screen page cracked in two. Several melted wires trail out from the back, getting stuck to the surface of the desk.
“We don’t know, sir,” someone says. What’s his name again? Oh yes, Akon. “Rin-kun was compiling the latest findings on American UFO sightings when this happened.”
“A virus perhaps?” Kisuke mutters, tilting the screen to see if there’s any hidden messages for him to find. There’s none.
“Kurotsuchi-san is tracking as we speak.” Kisuke glances over his shoulder to see his primary lab assistant going through several pages of virtual documents on the six computer screens that make up his corner of the lab. It doesn’t seem to be going well, if the way Kurotsuchi slams his hands on his keyboard in frustration is any indication.
“Well, do what you can to find out what happened,” Kisuke tells them, turning to return to his own desk. “I’ll phone Kyouraku-san later to replace it. Tessai-san can help me finetune the firewalls so that this won’t happen again if it does turn out to be the work of a virus.”
“Of course, sir.” Akon nods and directs the other researchers to take note of everything they can find before they haul the destroyed machine off to the trash heap.
Now that that’s been taken care of, Kisuke needs to wrap up his report and submit it to the Seireitei Monthly Mystery Journal. Out of everyone who participates, he’s the most published researcher in the world and he knows a lot of people are looking forward to his latest entry.
Then the lab door slams open, making everyone twitch in surprise. Kisuke resists the urge to groan because what is it now.
“Urahara-san! There’s something you need to see!” It’s Jinta, one of the foster kids under his care. The boy doesn’t have the slightest knack for research, but for some reason he’s happy to live under Kisuke’s roof anyway. “Something weird flew into the forest just now!”
…He may as well go and check it out.
The Grand Institute of Global Anomalies and Intervention (GIGAI) that he heads is sectioned off in its own part of Seireitei, far away from the residential area just in case there’s one too many explosions that can’t be contained. While they are generally more research-focused, everyone knows that the experiments that go on behind closed doors are what makes their lab a hazard to visitors (which is why there’s no visitors permitted within five hundred feet of the building without a special Combat Pass).
There’s a large forest behind the building, and it’s there that Jinta claims he saw something.
“I’m serious!” he insists, even though Kisuke sends him a look when he fails to give any sort of description on what it was that he saw.
“Yes, yes, I believe you. Now be a good kid and stay here with Akon, will you?” Kisuke expressly forbids any of his foster kids to go on investigations with him until they’re of age, because often his explorations into the unknown turn out quite dangerous. He refuses to put them in harm’s way if he can (though that doesn’t stop them from begging him for training time).
“Come back safe!” Jinta yells at his back. “I need you to see me master my new move!”
Kisuke waves as he disappears into the forest’s depths.
It’s late afternoon, so there’s still plenty of sunlight that slants through the branches overhead, allowing Kisuke to see. He finds no signs of disturbance around the entrance of the forest, but as he walks farther in, there are some things here and there (a snapped branch, a crushed leaf, a faint footprint in the dirt) that prove that there is something else here other than the usual inhabitants. Kisuke almost wants to rub his hands together in glee. He does so love a good mystery.
It takes another half hour of walking before he finds the thing that Jinta saw. Kisuke is not easily surprised, given how much he’s seen in his thirty-two years of life, but even he can admit to being startled by the… creature in front of him. Can it even be called a creature? It’s vaguely humanoid, but its extra appendages give it a distinctly not-human appearance, the likes of which Kisuke has never seen before. At least it has hair. Well, he thinks that it’s hair, since it’s growing from the thing's scalp. It’s bright orange and easily visible amongst the trees.
The creature sees him too and makes a weird gurgling noise that’s got a tinny echo behind it. Kisuke tilts his head, bemused. The creature tries again, though there’s a slight upwards tick at the end, almost like it’s asking… a question?
Kisuke has seen a lot of strange things as a global supernatural researcher, but it’s safe to say that he's never met an alien before.
“Good afternoon, Chikyuugai-san,” he says, ever polite. “What brings you to Earth?”
「hü|Œ 」the creature responds, its strange vocal chords making a noise that could vaguely be translated as ‘hello.’ The way it’s spoken sounds kind of like hooruee. It has three eyes (all of them gold irises on black sclera) that blink at Kisuke in tandem.
“Do you have a name? I’m Urahara Kisuke,” he tries a different topic, testing if the alien being can understand him.
The creature seems to ponder for a moment, then it replies with, 「iIî JÈ*zHkk’Ø」
Kisuke struggles to parse the being’s words. It’s hard when half the syllables it uses don’t exist in human language and he can’t mimic them for himself. But it’s responding to him, which means that it must understand him on some level.
“Your name is… Yeshako?” he tries. It doesn’t sound right at all. The alien makes a disgusted expression and violently shakes its head, its three reptilian tails slapping the ground behind him in agitation. “Okay, that’s not it. Can you repeat it for me?”
Instead of words, the creature squeezes its eyes shut as if to concentrate. Kisuke takes an alarmed step back when a ball of red energy coalesces between the two horns on its head. Oh dear, did he make it mad? He reaches behind him to rest a hand on Benihime’s hilt, ready to get out of the line of fire of whatever attack is being launched at him.
Except, it doesn’t attack. The red ball of energy floats over to him slowly, circling once around his head, before it drifts to his hand and sinks into his skin. There’s a brief tingle through his body, but Kisuke doesn’t feel any different. He looks back at the alien in confusion when it just stands there, waiting.
After a minute or so, the red energy comes back out and flies over to the alien, who—to Kisuke’s shock—opens its mouth and consumes it. It shudders, flexing its claws absently. It gnashes its teeth a little (it’s got very sharp teeth, Kisuke notes), swishes its tails, and rocks from side to side for a few seconds. Then it gazes at him and speaks, 「 He- llo. You un der stand me now? 」
…
What the fu—
Kisuke stares at the alien, gobsmacked. It… it just spoke words. Human words. Words that he can understand, even if it’s a bit rough around the edges.
It clears its throat and taps the ground with one clawed foot impatiently.
Right, it wants an answer. “Yes, I can. That’s amazing!” he exclaims. “What does that red energy do, exactly?”
「I use. Get information. Not know how works. 」The alien shrugs.
Fascinating. Kisuke wants to bring the creature back to his lab now. For study purposes, of course. It’s not everyday that one meets an extraterrestrial being who can do magic.
The creature steps closer to him, its nostrils flaring. Kisuke watches it warily. It leans forward, balancing itself with its tails, until the tips of its horns are nearly level with Kisuke’s chest. The blonde keeps a tight grasp on Benihime, still sheathed in her scabbard. If it attacks, he’ll attack right back. The best defense is a good offense.
A strange rumbly noise pours out the alien’s throat. It takes Kisuke an embarrassingly long moment to realize that it’s purring. Which, what the hell? Only cats are supposed to purr, not bizarre reptilian humanoid creatures from outer space.
「Smell good. I like. 」The extraterrestrial being grins lopsidedly, showing off half of its four rows of sharp teeth. That doesn’t make Kisuke feel any better about his proximity to it. 「 Smell strong. Make good mate.」
That throws him for a loop. “Excuse me?” he says blankly.
「I like. I keep.」The alien’s tails extend and gently wrap around Kisuke’s waist, tugging him against the being’s body. It carefully keeps its horns away from him as it nuzzles the top of his head. Kisuke is so shocked and confused that he doesn’t fight it, because hey, actually that feels pretty good.
Urahara Kisuke, world-famous supernatural researcher, being done in by an alien’s embrace. That’s apparently a thing that’s happening now.
“Will you tell me your name now?” he asks cautiously.
The alien pulls back enough to look at him with its three unblinking eyes. Kisuke is a little shorter than it, since though it walks upright, its feet are digitigrade. Rather reminiscent of a dragon’s, actually. A bit scaly, but smooth and warm to the touch. Yet, even though it is looking down, Kisuke doesn’t feel like it considers him a lesser being in any way.
How curious.
The alien smiles, a hint of fang showing. 「My name Ichigo. Happy to meet you, Kisuke.」