Archive of Our Own ^beta

Your first battle together had been very different from what you imagined. It was a strange point in your relationship with Cloud, past the friendship that used to bind you yet not quite reached the romantic part that you both seemed interested in. Hence, all your encounters were slightly awkward with the romantic tension repressed between you. 

After lots of insisting on your part, Cloud had finally budged and accepted to let you come with him on this encounter. Your arguments, he had to admit, were strong and valid. No matter how capable he was, Cloud wasn’t invincible and as you predicted, he was outnumbered. Luckily, you were there to have his back. Even if he was worried that you would get hurt, which you did.

“Don’t give me the silent treatment now” You scoffed, noticing the tight wrinkle on his brow. “You got hurt too, didn’t you?” 

“I told you it would be dangerous”

“Yeah, and I knew that already”

He still didn’t say a word as you both made your way back. Just the thought of putting up with a silent seething Cloud made you exhausted. Or maybe it was the injury that you were hiding from him even as your ankle and knee throbbed under the fabric of your clothes. 

“What are you doing?” He scowled at you as you followed him inside.

“Someone has to patch you up, right?” You tiredly pointed to the tear in his tank top, there where a small amount of blood still seeped through his stomach.

“You’re so stubborn” Cloud only replied, resigning himself. His eyes watched you as you closed the door behind you and went to get the first aid kit.

“Yeah, yeah, like you’re any better” As you faced your back to him, you paused for a moment. A sudden lump formed in your throat and tears stung in your eyes. In all honestly, you hated to feel this harshness between you.

Hanging your head low, you told yourself that he wasn’t the warmest person. Even on your best moments, he had never been openly affectionate... but he could be very sweet and tender when he wanted to. 

When you heard the sound of his sword being leaned against the wall and the springs of the bed complain as he sat on it, you forced yourself back to reality. Clutching the first aid kit in your hands, you turned to him.

It was then when you realized where his wound was. And that you needed better access to it in order to properly treat it. Cloud frowned, staring at you, and you just hoped you weren’t blushing at the words you were about to say.

“Take your shirt off, Soldier” You dryly said, even if your voice shook a bit.

“Ex-Soldier” He corrected as usual, but didn’t move at first. 

Exasperated, you rolled your eyes at him and tilted your head. Cloud sighed and obliged, removing his tank top over his head and carelessly throwing it on top of the bed.

Your breath hitched at the sight of his bare torso and you couldn’t help but to stare. There was a scar on his stomach, right below his fresh wound. Despite his pale skin tone, he was slim and his muscles were defined. You gulped, having to remind yourself what you were doing. 

“Any problem?” He asked, noticing your hesitance.

“N-No” You hurried to kneel down in front of him to hide yourself, being careful with your injured leg. “It’s just worse than I thought”

Your hands worked fast as they drenched a piece of gauze in alcohol and quickly applied it to his wound. Cloud groaned in pain at the sudden movement, and his hand flew to yours. He had taken his gloves off at some point, so it made direct contact with your skin. His palm lingered over your hand even as you looked up at him and locked eyes.

“Sorry” You could barely hear your low voice over the drumming of your heart. “I’ll be more careful”

He gravely nodded, slowly letting go of your hand. Immediately you missed his touch, his warmth, the rough texture of his calloused hands. You parted your lips, ready to tell him to do it again, to touch you, to forget the coldness that hung in the air and hold you. Until you remembered that you needed to treat his wound.

Resigned to your metaphorical distance despite your physical closeness, you sighed and carried on with your task. You gingerly pressed the gauze against his stomach. This time he didn’t flinch.

“What is it?” Cloud’s voice broke the heavy silence that had established.

He had noticed your inner turmoil. After all, he knew you as well as you knew him. You took a moment to reply, refusing to voice your genuine thoughts. Instead, you asked something that was starting to weigh down on you.

“Are you still mad at me?” You piped up after several more seconds.

Cloud sighed himself, averting his gaze when you glanced up at him again.

“I was never mad at you” Was his reply, still refusing to look at you.

You knew him far too well to realize what this meant. Angrily picking up a bandage to cover his wound, you shook your head at him.

“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this, it was my decision” Even if your tone held anger, your fingers continued to be gentle. “And I’m fine, just a few scratches here and there”

“Right” As soon as you were done patching him up, Cloud tugged at your arm.

Surprised that he was pulling you up, you gasped. He was strong and determined, and effortlessly pulled you to your feet. Mustering all self-control you could, you repressed the grimace that wanted to occupy your expression as you were forced to stand on your injured ankle. Despite your efforts, however, you stumbled forwards a little with a yelp. 

Cloud was quick to stand up and hold you by the hips, keeping you in place. You stared at him, surprised that he seemed so ready to catch you. Almost like he knew you would stumble.

“Head rush” You lied, and Cloud frowned in response. Your gazes locked for several seconds.

Feeling closer to him in every way, you opened your mouth to say something. He broke the instantaneous connection. Not saying a word, he moved you so you swapped places with him and carefully shoved you down onto the bed, taking the spot he was sitting in just a moment ago.

“Cloud?” You asked in confusion, watching as he carefully picked up your foot. His grip around your ankle was loose and yet it brought a pain of pain. “Ow!”

“Hurts?” He solely asked, and heat immediately flushed to your face.

“You’re really strong and...” Watching how he delicately propped your leg up on his knee, you interrupted your poor excuse. “What are you doing?”

“You were limping” Going along with his raspy voice, his eyes were severe as he peered at you. It was now your turn to avoid his eyes.

Cloud didn’t say anything else, shielding in the silence as he gently rolled your pants up to reveal your ankle. When his bare fingers delicately traced up your skin, you couldn’t help but shiver. He carefully put pressure in different spots, and although most of them hurt, you never wanted him to stop. The invisible barrier that was always between you had finally broken and his touch was tender and more wonderful than you could ever imagine.

“It’s nothing” He muttered, forcing you to look into his eyes as he stared into yours. “You’ll be fine if you don’t strain it” 

“Thanks, doctor” You joked, standing to your feet once more.

Again, Cloud reached out and held you by the hips when you inevitably stumbled. Yours faces were suddenly extremely close, and you could see a faint blush appearing in his cheeks. The heat on yours betrayed the same flush.

When Cloud rearranged his hold on you, however, you yelped out in pain. He gasped before he could ask anything when your hands met again with his. 

“Oh” You breathed in relief, remembering about the mild wound you had nearly forgotten about. “Just a scratch, a bullet grazed me” 

Cloud’s brow furrowed as he frantically moved, carefully sitting you down again and going to take a look at it. His fingers, however, stopped at the hem of your shirt.

“Uh...” He gulped, shyly taking ahold of it. “Can I...?” 

Wrapping your fingers around his hand, you pulled at it and lifted your shirt just enough to reveal your wound. Cloud focused his gaze on it, relaxing his shoulders at the realization that it was nothing grave even if his eyebrows lingered on their frown.

His touch was still gentle as he prepared the gauze and pressed it, drenched in alcohol, against your wound. It smarted, but you refused to complain. Instead, as Cloud treated the superficial injury, you observed him. It was hard to miss how he was careful not to let his fingers touch your skin if he could help it. Nonetheless, his cares were tender as he covered the wound for you. 

You smiled to yourself at his face of concentration, and especially at the reddish tone his face had acquired. It made you remember all the reasons why you had feelings for him, even if you had unknowingly pushed them away after your argument.

“Did I miss something?” Cloud asked, putting everything back on the first aid kit.

“Yes, heal my heart” You replied without thinking, your gaze following him as he stood to his feet. You did the same, holding on to his shoulders to support yourself.

“Y/N...” When you regained that closeness, Cloud moved his head to the side.

“Just play along...” You begged, hoping that he would for once. It was exhausting that every time you tried to make a step forward, he took a step backwards.

The brief silence that followed made the tension in the air all the more evident. It was not an angry one like before, yet one filled with unspoken words, sweet nothings that were never pronounced. 

“How?” He said after heaving a resigned sigh.

“Give me hope” You wrinkled your forehead, feeling frustrated tears arriving to your eyes. “Say something, anything...”

He didn’t, Cloud stayed quiet as usual. Tense and uncomfortable.

Letting go of him, you dropped your head in defeat. You gave up. Tears started rolling down your eyes. You had been convinced that you were in the same page, that you had feelings for each other despite the walls you both built around them. Maybe you were wrong, maybe you say something where there was nothing. You thought Cloud cared about you, but maybe he was just resigned to your attempts. It was so tiring, and so painful...

“It’s useless...” You whispered to yourself, feeling your shoulders convulsing with sobs. Trying not to let him know, you tried to repress any sounds, although some small strangled noises left your throat as more tears blurred your vision.

You suddenly were out of breath when you felt two arms envelop you, urgently shoving you against his bare chest so tightly that it made sense that you couldn’t breathe. Utterly shocked, you just stood there, arms by your side, without even realizing you could return the hug. The tears froze in your eyes and the tightness that had arrived to your chest paused.

“When you screamed and I saw you fall, I was terrified” Cloud whispered, nuzzling your neck. “That what you wanna hear?” 

A nervous yet genuine bout of laughter escaped you. Just then, your arms finally moved and wrapped around him in return. His skin was soft.

“I’ll take it” You replied, relieved that he tore down his walls. At least, some of them.

Cloud chuckled against your ear, and you heart skipped a beat at the wonderful but unexpected sound. Pulling away, you looked up at him.

“Is that a laugh I hear?” 

“No”

His arms left you, but you weren’t going to let him win this time. You smiled, and to your surprise you saw a glimpse of his smile before you put your arms around his waist and hugged him again. 

“We should rest” All the accumulated tension left you as you pressed yourself against his warm chest. “I think the worry got to your head”

He scoffed, even if his arms returned around your frame.

“The pain got to your head” Was his response, which made you smile. That was the Cloud you knew and loved.

Despite your words, however, none of you moved to get some rest. Instead you stayed there, holding on to each other. You stood there, with your hands leaning over his bare built chest, with his hands resting over your hips in the small bit of skin exposed under the rolled up shirt. You both stood there, claiming something you craved and that you hadn’t allowed yourselves to have. Until now.