Chapter Text
"The fate of the forest, nay, all of Hyrule, rests with that girl."
"How can the fate of the world rely on such a lazy girl?"
"Young Navi, thou already knowst what she is. Go to her, and awaken her destiny..."
Link rolled out of her bed and stretched her limbs with a yawn. What a remarkable dream she just had. There was an evil king, a princess in distress, and some ninja warriors? Crazy. And when she woke up, she swore she heard someone yelling in her ear. Her eyes darted around the small tree-house. There was no one there, so she began to get dressed. She lumbered over to her dressing drawer and tossed a conical green cap over her head.
"Hey!! What the fuck?" A muffled voice came from above her. Link let out a high-pitched scream. She flailingly grabbed her hat and threw it across the room as she tripped backwards, landing on her butt while a white glowing object bounced around in her hat.
"Ohmygreatdeku," she said, "What is that?"
"I am not a that," the object spoke. "I am a fairy." The fairy spoke with great injury. It lifted the cap and threw it aside, revealing its full form. It was something strange, almost like a winged, insectly Kokiri girl. But Link had never seen a Kokori so small. She had also never seen one with such large breasts. "Don't ever put me in your hat again. Fairies hate the dark," she said, emphasizing her disdain by tossing about her silver hair, which reached all the way down to her kneecaps - a whole three inches.
"I-I'm sorry," Link stammered. She looked away and faced the drawer. "Why is there a tiny naked lady in my room?" she asked it.
"Excuse me," the fairy spoke. She flew across the room and landed on top of the drawer and looked down at her with hands on her hips. Link lowered her gaze avoidantly. "Clearly you aren't grasping the concept very well, so I'll make this as clear as possible: you, Link of the Kokiri, finally got your own fairy, at the ripe age of fifteen. Congratulations. You're officially the latest bloomer in all of Kokiri history."
"If you're a fairy," Link spoke while standing up and going to pick up her hat, "Then why don't you look like any of the other fairies in town?" she asked. "Like glowing white blobs. You know, how a fairy looks?"
The fairy made a point of flying across the room to show her that she was rolling her eyes. "Duh, because I'm your Fairy," she explained. "Each fairy's true form can only be seen by her own Kokiri."
"Hmm," said Link. She was beginning to catch up. She absently began fixing her hair in a tiny mirror.
"And since I'm apparently destined to be partnered forever with the most dim-witted bumpkin of all time, then the sooner we get out the door the better. The Great Deku Tree has called us to His presence."
"What for?"
"A great quest. A quest of adventure, slaying the forces of evil as they manifest throughout Hyrule, and protecting the Triforce from the terrible men who would corrupt it!"
Link raised one of her bushy brown eyebrows, but not in curiosity. She was plucking beneath it. "I don't really know any Triforce," she said. "Or adventure, or any particularly evil men. I don't need that kind of life. And I certainly don't need a fairy," she angled her gaze at the little thing buzzing around her. "I have gotten by so far without one."
"Maybe you're not getting it," the fairy said frustratedly. "You and I have been called on a quest. The Gods have chosen us to tell a great story that will change the fate of Hyrule. There's nothing that you can do to undo that fact. There's nothing even I, a magical being, can do about it. And believe me, if there was..." she began, and trailed off for dramatic effect.
"Well, I can't go on any quests," Link stated. "Not today, certainly. There's tons of grass for me to deal with at Mido's place. And if I don't do the grass, then I don't get any money. And then it's no deku seed cereal for me," she added. "You do understand eating, right?" She interrogated the fairy with a hint of sass, although in truth she had no idea what went into a fairy or out.
The fairy scoffed. "You really have no idea, do you?"
"Not in the slightest," Link confirmed, fixing up her outfit. "I'm going over to Mido's. If you would be a good fairy and go tell the Great Deku Tree He has the wrong girl... well, maybe then he can get back to finding the right one," she concluded, stepping out into the sunlight of her front porch.
"Oh! Just! You know-- AAHHHHH," the fairy screamed, fling off into the distance, leaving Link to her own.
"Whew," Link exhaled, sitting down on her front porch. "Last I'll see of her."