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never knew i could feel that much

Summary:

percy and annabeth fell apart, but they find their way back to each other.

(based on "the way i loved you" by taylor swift)

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He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear and it's like

I couldn't ask for anything better

 

Annabeth answered the Facetime call from Thalia and Piper, a wide smile forming on her lips as the faces of her two friends popped up on her screen. “Hi guys!”

“Don’t ‘hey guys’ us! How was the date?” Piper asked, and Annabeth let out a content sigh, “It was… sweet. We went out to this cute Italian restaurant near campus, then we got drinks.”

“It's times like these where I wish I could date someone.” Thalia sighed, then stared at Annabeth’s expression, “There’s a but coming, isn’t there?” Annabeth straightened up, shaking her head. “ No ! No, I like Noah. I liked the date.” Her tone was a dead giveaway, especially with the way she kept repeating herself. 

“‘Beth, you’re literally talking to the daughter of the goddess of love . C’mon, spill.” Piper gave her a knowing look, and Annabeth let out what sounded like a sigh, “But…” 

“But he’s not Percy.” Piper finished in a small voice, and Annabeth’s curt nod of her head was enough for the two friends to understand. It had been three weeks since her and Percy’s big fall out and in an attempt to force herself to forget about the ocean eye’d boy, she’d agreed to go out with a guy from her old Calculus I class on a whim. Despite all his flirtatious attempts and the kind smiles he gives her, she can’t seem to get Percy out of her head.

“Hey, it's okay. You’re just getting out there and you don’t need to rush into anything, okay? Even if this is just a rebound, you’ll be okay.” Thalia’s voice came out gentle, a side of herself she’d rarely let people see, but this was Annabeth, and she always took care of Annabeth.

“Yeah! Who knows, maybe you’ll find something in him you didn’t expect. Just… don’t rush yourself.” Piper added, “You’ve been through hell, you’ll get through this too.”

Annabeth pondered Piper’s words, and an unspoken ‘but I always got through it with Percy’ lingered on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she plastered a smile on her face. “Thank you guys. I’m gonna go to bed now, okay?”

With that, they said their goodnights, and Annabeth prepared for another night of restlessness. 

 

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says, you look beautiful tonight

And I feel perfectly fine

 

Annabeth walked down the steps of her apartment complex, meeting Noah by his car. He gave her a quick kiss to her cheek, a small smile playing on his lips. “You look beautiful, Anna.” 

She fought the urge to frown at the nickname, instead giving him a smile. “You clean up nicely, too.” He chuckled lightly under his breath, turning to open the door for her and waiting for her to slide in before he got in himself. Annabeth knew that she was now four weeks post her breakup and she should stop comparing him to Percy, but a small, nagging voice reminded her how Percy never used to open doors for her. 

“Gods, that is the stupidest cliche in the world.” Annabeth mumbled against the fabric of Percy’s shirt, causing his eyes to turn from the tv to the girl who rested on his chest. “You don’t think opening doors for a girl is sweet?”

She shook her head against his chest, before lifting her head to properly look at him, a small frown on her lips. “It’s stupid. Like, what? Is she that weak and fragile that she needs a man to open the door for her? The whole concept is hidden behind a notion that women are weaker, so no, I’d rather open my own doors, and- what?”

She stopped midway her rant, noticing the expression on Percy’s face. He simply shook his head, a stupid grin playing on his lips as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “It’s nothing. Keep ranting, if you want.”

She rolled her eyes, “I was finished, Seaweed Brain.”

“So, what I’m gathering is: No opening doors for you?” He said, and she nodded. “I’ve fought monsters, I think I can handle a car door.”

She felt Percy’s laugh against her own body, causing her heart to clench in her chest. “I’m sure you can, Wise Girl.”

With that, he pressed a kiss to her forehead as she settled back onto his chest, the two of them returning their attention to the movie.

“Are you even listening?” Noah’s voice broke Annabeth out of her memory, and she sat up, nodding, “Yeah, sorry, I just remembered something.”

“Oh, okay.” He said softly, continuing whatever he was talking about previously. Annabeth tried her best to listen, but a part of her- the bigger part of her, just droned him out. 

 

He respects my space and never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother

Talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable

 

“So, Noah seems sweet.” Mrs. Chase commented as Annabeth reentered the kitchen from the dining room, placing the pile of dirty dishes into the sink. Annabeth nods, looking over the kitchen counter and watches Noah animatedly discuss literature with her dad. On a whim, she invited him to join her on her weekend trip to her father’s house, and for some reason, he accepted. She knew she should feel something in her chest, she knew a smile should form on her lips, she knew she should do something to show care for her boyfriend, but right now, all she could do was watch. 

“You alright?” Mrs. Chase broke Annabeth out of her stare, and the girl turned to her stepmother, giving her a somewhat forced smile, “Yeah, just thinking.”

“Annabeth, it's okay to miss him.” 

The way her stepmother said that single sentence caused Annabeth’s rigid exterior to fall, and wordlessly, the woman wrapped her arms around Annabeth. She held her for a moment, and all Annabeth could do was attempt to collect herself as she counted her breaths and blinked away her tears. “It’s been a month and a half, why won’t he get out of my head?”

“Love works in weird ways.” The older woman said softly, pulling Annabeth away from her shoulder so she could meet her eyes, “Sometimes things don’t work, and sometimes you’re trying to force something that isn’t there.” 

“I should love him.” Annabeth’s voice was barely a whisper, yet loud enough for Mrs. Chase to hear her. “He does everything right- He’s always on time, he respects when I don’t want to talk about something, if he promises to call or come over he actually does, and yet…” She trailed off, and Mrs. Chase gave her a ghost of a smile.

“He seems like the exact opposite of Percy.” 

Annabeth didn’t even have to say anything aloud in agreement, because it's true. Percy had the worst habits, yet the blond haired girl found all of them absolutely endearing. His worst habit was being late, especially to their dates. It had reached a point where Annabeth would purposely tell him their reservation time 15 minutes early, just so he’d arrive ‘on time’. If he says he’ll Iris Message her, or come over, he’d often forget, or just get distracted with an assignment or with a monster attack. 

But he always made up for it.

Everytime he was late to a date, he’d show up with a bouquet of Annabeth’s favorite flowers, or a box of chocolate, or a baked good he was trying to make for her. If he forgot to text her or come over, he’d always show up the next morning with an apology and kisses and nonstop compliments, and Annabeth could never stay mad for too long. 

But his worst, yet Annabeth's favorite, habit was the way that he could always pry out what was wrong. Even if all she wanted to do was curl up and bury it, he would coax her into spilling everything that was wrong, even if it ended with his shirt being soaked with her tears. (Of course, he was the son of Poseidon and could easily prevent the whole getting-his-shirt-wet ordeal, but he never used his powers with Annabeth, except for when they were on the beach and he wanted to kiss her.) He would never speak until she was done, and he could always tell if she just wanted to vent or if she was looking for a form of advice, but regardless of what the scenario was he always knew exactly how to cheer her up. 

Annabeth sighed, looking over at Noah and her father once again, and Thalia’s voice rang out in her head once more.

But he’s not Percy.

 

But I miss screamin' and fightin'

And kissin' in the rain

And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name

You're so in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and comin' undone

It's a roller-coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

 

“Gods, Percy, would it kill you to just help clean this apartment every once in a while?” Annabeth had just walked into the apartment after a long day at her internship, spotting Percy on the couch, his laptop in hand and his fingers furiously typing away. His gaze snapped up at the sound of Annabeth’s voice, and he shot her an apologetic smile. “I know, I know- I promised to clean and I never did, I’m sorry. I just have this huge Wildlife Ecology paper due after tomorrow and another final in 3 days and I’m just super stressed and couldn’t get around to it yet.”

Normally, Annabeth would have taken that and moved on, but for some reason, today she wanted to fight. “That seems to always be your excuse.” She said in a low voice, tossing her bag onto an empty chair in front of him. He paused his typing, his fingers hovering above his keyboard, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, it's nothing.” She waved off, then made her way into the bedroom and changed into a pair of sweats, pulling a random hoodie off the back of the door and tugging it on. When she re emerged into the living room, Percy’s laptop was resting on the coffee table and he was no longer on the sofa. She found him in the kitchen, instead, filling a plate with food. 

“I figured you’d be hungry, so…” He trailed off without turning to her, placing the plate in the microwave and heating it up for her. 

“Thank you.” She said softly, and he shrugged, not meeting her gaze. “I’ll bring it out to you, go sit down.”

She complied, heading to the living room and setting onto the couch. She reached over and pulled her laptop out of her bag and turned it on, just as Percy placed the plate, along with utensils, on the coffee table in front of her. The energy in the room was tense, even as Annabeth whispered another ‘thank you’. He returned to his laptop, and she ate in silence, but in the back of her mind she knew Percy would eventually speak up. 

When she returned to the living room after cleaning her plate, he finally spoke. “What did you mean, Annabeth?”

“C’mon, you know what I meant.” She replied, struggling to keep her immediate frustration at bay. He shook his head, placing his laptop back down. “Not really. Enlighten me.”

“You always promise something, and you never stick to it! You say you’ll clean up, you don’t. You say you won’t miss our dinner plans, but suddenly work is too important to be missed. You say you’ll cook dinner, but take out boxes end up being in our trash. You just continuously push things to the side and I’m just tired of having to deal with the empty promises.” She rants, her voice rising slightly, and Percy says nothing for a moment. “Are you done?”

“For now.” Her reply is curt, and Percy takes that as a sign to respond. “You know I’m trying here, okay? It seems like everything is happening way too fast and I know it seems like I’m just neglecting everything, but I’m not. You can choose whether to believe that or not, but it's true. Not everyone is a fucking genius with a 4.0 GPA, Annabeth, I’m sorry if I momentarily leave a few dishes in the sink or opt for take out because I decide to prioritize my academics.”

There’s a bit to the last bit of his speech, and instead of being understanding, Annabeth decides to get angrier. “What? So you think I’m not struggling because I maintain good grades? It's called balance, Percy, and yeah, when we were 14 it was cute but you’re 20 now, can you please grow up a bit?”

“Grow up? Grow up? We didn’t have childhoods to grow up from, Annabeth! Me being behind on a few tasks doesn’t make me a child.” He retorts angrily, and Annabeth can see the frustration shining in his eyes. “It’s not my fucking fault that-!”

“Nothing is ever your fault! Gods, Percy, it’s apparently never, ever your fucking fault” She was screaming at this point, and she had angry tears in her eyes, but that didn’t matter at the moment. “Nothing, nothing is ever your fault, Percy,” She began, her voice weakening, “You ditch dinner, you blame it on work or a monster. You forget to pick up something I ask you for, you blame it on your ADHD. You prioritize work over us, you blame it on being busy.” 

Her voice cracks at the end, and suddenly all the anger in his eyes seemed to disappear. “ Annabeth .” Her name was barely a whisper out of his lips as he took two steps across the room to wrap his arms around her, “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t realize she had tears rolling down her cheeks till Percy’s fingers swiped across her skin to wipe them away, his lips pressing a small kiss to her forehead. “Fuck work, fuck school, fuck monsters or anything the Gods need,” He began, his gaze fixating onto hers, “ You are my priority, Wise Girl, you should know that. You always have been, always will be, and I’m sorry that I haven’t been showing that these past few days, but I will now.” 

She responded with a searing kiss, her hands moving to hold his jaw in her hands. He responded almost instinctively, his hands gripping her hips as he pulled her against him. “I love you.” He whispered as his lips trailed down her chin, to her jaw, to scattering kisses down her neck, “I love you,” he muttered against a particular spot on her skin that Percy knew Annabeth would react to, and between soft moans, all Annabeth could do was whisper that she loved him back.

All her previous anger was gone as his lips moved against her body, her skin feeling as though it was on fire. This was their way of loving, momentary anger and a heat of the moment yell only to reconcile. After all, she literally judo flipped him when they reunited, so at this point, she knew their love was something that was fiery and lit up everything in her. 

 

He can't see the smile I'm fakin'

And my heart's not breakin'

'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated

Got away by some mistake and now

 

When Annabeth and Noah called it quits after two weeks of trying, she felt nothing. Instead, she plastered a fake smile on her lips and made her way out of his apartment and back to her own. The weather was chilly and there was a light shower of rain, but it wasn’t anything too bad. Annabeth couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that she and Noah had decided to call it quits on today, of all days. 

She had woken up to Piper, Thalia, and Hazel sneaking into her apartment, a cake shoved in front of her face as they sang her ‘happy birthday’. Of course, Noah hadn’t known it was her birthday, since she purposely went out of her way to not mention it to him. She spent the morning with her friends from camp, all of them surprising her with a massive party at Piper and Jason’s apartment, however there was one face that was missing.

After she and Percy fell out, he opted to move out of the apartment and packed up a few of his things and left. She found out a week later that he went to the beach house in Montauk, and Annabeth felt even worse remembering that he was alone at a beach house. Now, here she was, celebrating her birthday, and all she wanted was to be with him. She ended up leaving her friends pretty early and planned for a lazy day, tossing on a navy sweatshirt she found in her room and a pair of running shorts that weren’t even visible under the fabric of the hoodie. When she got a call from Noah inviting her over, she didn’t even think twice about changing, and instead just left to his place. She ended up staying for not even 10 minutes, so she was grateful she opted to not put in the effort. When she reached her apartment’s front door, her entire body froze as her eyes met an all-too familiar pair of ocean green ones. 

Percy stood at the top of the building’s stairs, a small box in his hand. When he saw her, she saw his body visibly stiffen as she took hesitant steps till she stood on the first step, keeping a safe distance between the two.

Her voice came out as a whisper, “ Percy.

He gave her a weak smile, “Hey, happy birthday.”

“U-uh, thank you.”

“I, um, I got you this before we, you know,” He began, a small shake to his voice, “and I was gonna just drop it off in front of the door, but I’m stupid and forgot my keys in Montauk so…” He trailed off momentarily, then extended his hand to hold it out to her. “Here, I guess.”

As she took the box from his hand, their fingers momentarily brushed, and that was enough to send a jolt through Annabeth’s body. She momentarily inspected the small box, a bow tied on top holding it shut. “My mom tied it,” Percy admitted, almost shyly, “but you probably already guessed that.”

Despite her nervousness, Annabeth let out a small laugh, nodding her head. She momentarily looked up from the box, and her and Percy shared a small smile, “I kinda did, yeah.”

She opened it after a moment of silence passed between them, and Annabeth’s heart clenched in her chest at his gift. “I know you still always wear your camp necklace, and you used to always complain about how you hated how it made you feel unprofessional in your work clothes, so…”

The necklace was a complete replica of her clay beads and leather necklace, except it was now made of white gold and various stones and small enough that it didn’t draw immediate attention,, and Annabeth couldn’t help the tears that formed in her eyes. “Percy, how did you…” 

“I owe Aphrodite a lot of deals, let's just leave it at that.” He responded with a small smile and shrug, “but it was worth it.”

“Can you, um, help me put it on?” She was hesitant for a moment, and Percy definitely hadn’t been expecting that, but he complied, taking steps towards her till they were on the same one. He took the necklace from the box as she lifted her hair with one hand, and wordlessly, he placed it around her neck. 

She hadn’t expected to make an audible sound, but when she felt Percy’s breath against the nape of her neck, her breath hitched in her throat. The sound didn’t go unnoticed by Percy, who responded by placing a gentle, feather-like kiss against the side of her neck. “I miss you, Wise Girl.”

It was a whisper, low enough for only Annabeth to hear, and she dropped her hair and turned to face him, her gray eyes meeting his. “I know you called this off and said you wanted to be alone, and Piper said something about how you’re seeing some guy who I want to beat up despite not even knowing his name and if you’re with him I will walk away right now but I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night and I miss you, I miss you so fucking much its killing me inside everyday. You said we needed to grow as individuals and that we need to find ourselves but I have found myself and nothing about myself changes the way I feel about you. I’m in love with you, Annabeth, and I have been since we were kids fighting monsters together and that’s never gonna go away.”

He was rambling at that point, and while he stopped to take a breath, Annabeth surged onto her toes to press a kiss to his lips. Her arms found themselves around his neck before she could stop herself, and Percy was kissing her back with a fervency that matched hers, his arms around her waist as she tugged him flush to her. Her hands found his hair and she melted into him, her entire body filling with a sense of need that she had been missing. It seemed that every time they were apart from each other, their kisses always seemed to carry the same urgency, as if they had never parted.

“Gods, I missed you.” He whispered against her lips, and a small sound escaped her throat that Percy could only take as an agreement, and as he deepened the kiss, Annabeth felt water droplets against her skin. The barely-there drizzle had intensified and it was pouring rain, but neither of them made any move to run inside. Instead, Percy’s lips trailed down her neck, and he still had her memorized, regardless of the time they were apart.

“I love you.” He whispered against her skin, and Annabeth used her hands to pull his face to hers, and she kissed him once again, “I love you, Percy.”

Eventually, the rain got too intense that they had to go inside, and as they waited for the elevator, Percy took a moment to examine Annabeth’s appearance, “Nice hoodie.”

Annabeth’s cheeks burned red, and she wordlessly gave him a slight shove with her shoulder. “Thanks, it was my ex’s.”

“Oh, so that’s what I am?” He asked incredulously, and Annabeth gave him a shrug, a playful smile on her lips, “What are you gonna do about it?”

The elevator doors opened, and before Annabeth could step into it, Percy was pulling her into his arms, his lips finding hers and swallowing the laugh that escaped her. He pressed her against the elevator wall, his lips finding the spot on her neck that she particularly reacted to. “Say that I’m just your ex one more time, Wise Girl.” 

His voice was a low growl that Annabeth felt in the pit of her stomach, and with her silence, Percy took that as an opportunity to suck on her skin, enticing a small moan that escaped Annabeth’s lips. 

Percy, ” She breathed out, causing a hum to leave him as he continued trailing kisses down her neck, and in between breathless moans she managed to get out, “You’re more than my ex.”

“Is that so?” He pulled away from her neck to meet her gaze and she nodded, her hands playing with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck as she placed a kiss to his lips once more, whispering against his skin, “I’m yours , Percy, always will be.”

With that, the elevator door opened and Percy carried her to the apartment, his lips not leaving her skin. He was without her for almost two months, and he had plans to make it up to her.

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