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“Nice driving out there, Amy!”
“Oh, thanks, Sonic.”
Sonic had been jogging by, just shouting the greeting in passing, but Amy’s tone made him pause. Her voice lacked its usual teasing lilt, and her smile looked like it had appeared out of expectation rather than actual joy. Something was definitely up.
“Hey, you don't seem like yourself, Ames.” He said.
Amy shook her head. “Oh, it's nothing. I'm just, y’know, coming down from the adrenaline rush. It was a close win.”
Sonic beamed, mention of the race driving all other thoughts from his head. “It sure was! When you pulled that Spike Wisp on me at the last second I was stunned. And did you see Silver’s face? Oh man, and Shadow was so mad.” The blue hedgehog squared his shoulders and pulled an exaggerated face. “Not very ladylike, Amy.” He said in a comically deep voice.
“Haha, yeah,” Amy laughed nervously. “Sorry, I just need to go sit down for a minute. Slow my heart rate and junk.” She turned on her heel and ran off before Sonic could say anything else.
She was relieved when he didn't try to follow her. Ducking behind the stands she flopped into the shade and sighed. Tears pricked at her eyes and she forced them back. This wasn't something she should cry about. It was just some dumb comment made in a high-stakes situation. Shadow probably didn't even remember making it. Lying on her back she looked up, watching the blue sky between the raised seats. She would be fine, but she would avoid Shadow for the rest of the races. The last thing she needed was to snap at him over something as stupid as a petty insult.
“Amy?”
She shot up and whacked her head against the bottom of the stands. “Ow!” She clasped her forehead, embarrassment and anger darkening her cheeks. “Shadow, what the heck?”
“I'm sorry, I didn't expect to see you here.”
The black and red hedgehog was leaning against a support beam. Amy hadn't seen him when she ran over. Had he Chaos Controlled there, or had he been standing there all along? She wiped at her eyes and tried to school her face into something unemotional.
“What are you even doing here? She asked.
Shadow watched her with keen yellow eyes. “I need a moment of quiet between each race. The cars are surprisingly loud, and I don't enjoy it.”
“Huh,” she replied. “And here I thought you were just brooding.”
Her voice came out strained. To her dismay Shadow narrowed his eyes.
“Amy, are you upset?”
She waved her hands and began a panicked rambling. “No! Why would I be? I won the last race, didn't I? I beat you and Sonic and Silver really good. Haha.”
Shadow raised an eyebrow. “You are definitely acting...not yourself.” He uncrossed his arms. “Has someone upset you?”
Amy sighed. She hated keeping secrets from her friends, even if they hadn't been acting very friendly. “Yeah, you could say that.”
Shadow pushed himself away from the beam and stretched his shoulders. “Tell me who it is, and I promise you won't have any more problems with them. Was it Zavok? It must have been him. He's an absolute barbarian. Or was it Eggman? Even if it wasn't, I don't need an excuse to pick a fight with him.”
Amy shook her head.
“Was it Sonic? You know I highly enjoy challenging him to-”
“Shadow, it's you. I'm upset with you.”
The hedgehog blinked. He seemed stunned, despite his expression not changing. He returned his arms to their previously crossed position and studied the ground.
“I'm afraid I don't understand why.” he said after a long moment of silence.
Amy wrapped her arms around her knees. “Of course you wouldn't. It's something small. Insignificant. I shouldn't even be upset about it.”
Something moved next to her, and she jumped when she looked up to see Shadow’s yellow eyes. He went to such lengths to keep himself away from people. Having him sitting down next to her, well, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been within arm’s reach of Shadow!
“Amy,” he sighed, “I will be the first one to admit that I have almost no understanding of other people’s emotions. My own are a mystery to me most of the time. However, in all the time I've known you, I've almost never seen you cry.”
“So you saw that, huh?” Amy looked away, embarrassed that he'd caught her moment of weakness.
“You're incredibly strong, Amy. Whatever I did to upset you, while it might be small to me or to others, is deeply upsetting to you. And,” he cleared his throat, “as your...friend...I should do better to know what upsets you so that I can avoid bringing up said topics.”
“Shadow, it's not that big of a deal.”
“I disagree. I'm sure if Sonic found out he had made you upset he would apologize. And I can't let him excell at anything I can do better, you know that.”
She gasped. “Shadow! Was that sarcasm?”
“You'll get nothing more out of me unless you tell me what's wrong.” He wasn't looking at her, but he did give her the smallest grin.
Amy took a deep breath and straightened her back. “Okay, I'll tell you.”
Shadow made a point to tilt his head in her direction. His way of showing that he was listening, without looking directly at her. Amy fidgeted with her headband and smoothed her skirt.
“Do you remember what you said during the race? When I hit you and Sonic and Silver with that Spike Wisp?”
Shadow’s brow creased. “I believe so.”
“Well, it hurt me because...I…” She was getting embarrassed again, and with that embarrassment came anger. Her fist hit the ground so hard Shadow flinched.
“Because I hate it when people doubt that I'm a girl!” she spat. “When I was younger I tried so hard to be as girly as possible, and everyone thought I was annoying and weak. So, now I'm strong and I work harder, and now I feel better about myself but at the same time I can't help but be afraid that people don't see me as a girl anymore.”
Angry tears streamed down her face and she swiped at them furiously. Shadow nudged her arm, offering a handkerchief while still keeping his gaze averted. She accepted it and blew her nose.
“Rouge makes me carry them.” he explained. “In case of “mascara streaks.” Whatever those are.”
Amy giggled. “You should thank her for me.”
“I'll do that.”
Amy lowered herself onto her back. Looking up, past the dirty under bellies of the stands and the waving feet of the Chao spectators, she could see a cloudless blue sky.
“Why would other's not see you as a girl because of your behaviour?” he asked suddenly.
Amy closed her eyes. “They wouldn't, but I'll always question if they do.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I'm trans, Shadow. Because I have this stupid body dysphoria. I feel like I don't look enough like a girl, or don't sound enough like one, and if I don't go out of my way to act the way that others think I should, then they’ll know that I'm not-”
“Amy.”
“What?”
“Do you feel that you are a girl?”
She opened her eyes and glared down at Shadow’s back. “Is this a trick question?”
Shadow turned and looked at her over his shoulder. “That must have sounded wrong. I'm sorry about that. What I meant was, if you say you are a girl, because you feel that you are, and because identifying yourself as such is what makes you happy, then you are one.”
“Is that..? Do you mean that?” she sat up.
“I do. Anyone else can call me whatever they wish. I've heard some say “freak,” some say “criminal,” some say “dangerous.” Sonic says “not as fast as me.” But if I say that I am Shadow, then I am. And I don't have to explain to anyone exactly what that means, either. I am Shadow, and I show what that means through my actions.” he stood up and offered her his hand. “You are Amy Rose, and you are a girl. Your actions, words and how you look mean nothing more than what they mean to you.”
Amy took his hand and pulled herself up. When she was back on her feet she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Shadow said nothing, only patting her back and waiting for his airway to be usable again. When she pulled away her eyes were wet.
“Thank you, Shadow. Thank you so much.”
“It was nothing.” he coughed into his fist, taking a deep first breath. “Should we head back to the track?”
“Oh my gosh, yes. I hope we haven't missed the next race.”
Amy started running back the way she came. Shadow joined her a moment later, skates carrying him quickly despite his resigned walking speed.
“You may as well forfeit now. You won't catch me off guard again.” he smirked.
“Are you admitting that I caught the ultimate life form by surprise?”
Shadow frowned, “...no.”
Sonic was, predictably, already in his car and waiting at the starting line. When he saw the two approaching, he jumped out of his car to greet them.
“Finally! You guys took so long they postponed the next race for another fifteen minutes.” the speedster fumed.
“More than enough time to plan my condolence speech to you when I win this race.” Shadow replied.
Sonic looked between the two hedgehogs, brows furrowed. “You two look awfully chummy. Something you aren't telling me?”
Amy waved her hand. “What is it, Sonic, jealous I wasn't here with you?”
Sonic sputtered. “Wha? No! I just don't get why you'd be hanging out with Shadow. Or, why Shadow would be hanging out with you.”
“I enjoy the company of anyone who embarrasses my enemies. I loved seeing the look on your face when you came in third.”
Amy giggled. Sonic and Shadow had tied for second place. Poor Silver had finished third after a Rocket Wisp slammed into his car minutes after he'd recovered from her Spike attack.
Sonic’s face darkened, and he looked as if he were about to yell some insult or challenge. Then, his eyes glinted and he smirked. “So! You admit that you love seeing me?”
Shadow’s face sent Amy into hysterics. She laughed uncontrollably as he scrambled to think of some way to reply. Sonic smiled triumphantly as his rival crossed his arms and looked away. Sonic one, Shadow zero.
“All jokes aside, what were you two doing?” Sonic asked.
“Just swapping some helpful advice. Shadow can be a pretty nice guy when he wants to be.” Amy playfully nudged his shoulder, earning a displeased “humph” from Shadow.
“What, are you two teaming up against me?” Sonic asked, oblivious.
Shadow smirked, catching him off guard. “Not a bad idea, Sonic. Amy’s a fierce racer. With our combined skills, well, I'm sure you'd be no match for us.”
“Ha! I bet I'd wipe the floor with you two.” Sonic laughed as he hopped back into his car.
“So you say, Sonic,” Amy shot back.
He smiled eagerly as an idea struck. “D’ya wanna settle this in a race?” He revved his engine in anticipation. “Winner gets to keep the title of “best racer in the whole world...next to Sonic.”” He whispered the last part.
Amy only laughed and waved, heading towards her own car. “No thanks. I don't have to win a race to prove what kind of racer I am.” She winked at them over her shoulder. “I'm sure the spike-shaped dents in your cars do that for me.”
Sonic pouted as he watched her go. “Amy’s a really tough girl, huh Shadow?”
“She's the strongest one I know.” He replied.