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“And… how long will you guys be gone…? And why will I be the one to be left behind?” Kanan asked, twiddling with his fingers as he bit his bottom lip.
“Kanan, we’re sneaking into Coruscant for some supplies, and Ahsoka had already stated that you and Ezra may attract attention from either an Inquisitor, Vader, or worse, the Emperor,” Hera explained.
“Then where is Ahsoka taking Ezra? Why can’t I come along???”
“Kanan, you promised that Ahsoka could train Ezra alone in Phoenix Home for a few days, so that’s where she’s going to do. I also need you to be our getaway pilot, remember?”
“I… I don’t know, Hera…” Kanan looked down with a frown as he folded his arms and tapped his fingers on the upper part of his arms.
Hera let out a sigh, setting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Kanan, it’ll be fine. You and Rex get along better now, don’t you? Ever since you and him rescued Ezra and Commander Sato? I thought you’d be fine with you two being alone in the Ghost,”
“We DO get along better now, but that’s not why I’m like this…”
“Then do you mind telling me why you’re a nervous wreck all of a sudden?” Hera crossed her arms as her eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“Hera…” Kanan sighed. “You know my attachments to clones is very, VERY strong, and Rex is no different… well, at least I THOUGHT he was no different, but…”
“I know that you used to think that all of the clones in your master’s battalion were your brothers and best friends. Why is Rex any different?”
“That’s just It. I have NO idea why I feel different and why Rex is different from all of the other clones I befriended in the past. After putting our differences aside, he acts like a best friend, but I… oh my Force, why do I see him so different?” Kanan groaned, shaking his head as he buried his face in his hands.
“Oh, Kanan, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Hera gave the Jedi a smile. “You know that you can always tell me when you start to feel different about someone.”
“I know, but… you know me and my emotions…” Kanan cringed. “Plus, you know, the Jedi rule when it comes to attachments…”
“Kanan, that was the rule of the Jedi Order, which does not exist anymore, and you know that,”
“I know, I know, it’s just that…”
“That NOTHING!” Hera grabbed the man by the shoulders. “Kanan Jarrus, you have to man up! All you need to do is tell Rex how feel. Is that too hard to do?”
“Um… yes,” Kanan gulped.
Hera felt her eye twitch as she slowly let go of the Jedi and shook her head. “Kanan, you are hopeless…”
“Hey!” Kanan pouted. “I’m shy, in-denial and a nervous wreck but never hopeless. There is always hope,”
“Hope for YOU in THIS state?” Hera rolled her eyes and turned away from him. “Plead the Force for it,”
X
“Do you plan to tell him how you feel while you two are alone?” Ahsoka questioned as the ship they were piloting neared the Ghost.
“Eh,” Rex shrugged, laying back on his seat with his hands behind his neck. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t,”
“Excuse me, ‘Maybe’?” Ahsoka turned her seat to raise an eyebrow at the clone.
“Ahsoka, look,” Rex gave a sigh. “Kanan’s still adjusting to my company. An issue like this might scare him into NOT talking to me for, at least, a month. If I’m lucky, two weeks,”
“Rex…”
“Ahsoka, I want to tell ‘im, you know I do, and you know I can, but his reaction’s just something I’m not prepared,”
“I thought the Captain of the 501st Battalion was prepared for anything and everything,” Ahsoka teased.
“Very funny, Commander,” Rex chuckled with sarcasm. “You know what I mean, and you know how hard Kanan is to adjust. The mission we had was only last week,”
“I know, but you two got know each other for a few months now. You two are already friends. He said so himself,”
“Yeah, ‘friends’ is a good term on how he feels about me,” Rex groaned. “He’s going to be disgusted with me when I confess,”
“Can’t be too sure, Rex,” Ahsoka swiveled her chair back to the front and gripped the steering wheel. “We’ll be connecting to the Ghost in a few minutes,”
“How wonderful…” Rex straightened up his posture and stretched. “How long will you guys be gone again?”
“Only Captain Syndulla’s group will go undercover in Coruscant. I will be taking Ezra to Phoenix Home since Kanan promised to give me a chance to train him,” Ahsoka turned her head to face the clone. “It should only take a week or so. If Captain Syndulla completes the mission with no complication then it would take a week and a half,”
“And if there ARE complications?” Rex quirked an eyebrow.
“Let us hope that they aren’t,” Ahsoka glanced back at the front to guide the ship towards the Ghost, causing a little turbulence as the two ships connected. “Come, time to meet up with them,”
“Alright then,” Rex got on his feet then he followed the Togruta out of their ship and into the connecting tube.
They made it to the Ghost, and the door slid open to reveal the crew.
“Captain Syndulla,” Ahsoka smiled.
“Commander Tano,” Hera returned the gesture before turning to the others. “Ready to go?”
“We got everything,” Sabine confirmed.
“Disguises, weapons… we got everything except a plan,” Zeb grumbled.
“That is for you three to do on the way to Coruscant,” Ahsoka looked down at the blunette beside the Lasat. “Ready to go, Ezra?”
“Yep!” Ezra grinned, patting the backpack on his back. “Got my lightsaber, some archives about the History of the Jedi and the Jedi rules, and Kanan lent me his holocron,”
“He should be ready for whatever you throw at him, Ahsoka,” Kanan chuckled as he ruffled the boy’s hair. “Right, kid?”
“Right!” Ezra laughed.
“That sounds wonderful,” Ahsoka sent a small snicker to Rex. “Looks like we’ll be taking at least two weeks to get everything done, especially with the holocron,”
“Terrific…” Rex grunted with a groan.
Kanan frowned at this, but he didn’t say anything as his crew stepped off their freighter and into the tube. When the clone stepped in to stand beside him, he felt his stomach drop and butterflies flutter to his throat, realizing that he and Rex were going to be the only ones left on the ship. Alone.
‘Bantha shit!‘ Kanan held his breath and froze at the spot, but it was merely brief and was able to discreetly dash into his room.
Rex waved the others goodbye before he closed the door. As soon as he heard the ship disconnect from the Ghost, he sighed.
“Well, Kanan, guess it’s just you and me— hey, where’d he go?” He was confused the moment he realized that he was alone in the hall. “Hello? Kanan?”
He moved forward and looked around, trying to find the Jedi. He made it to the common room, and his eyebrows furrowed to find it empty. He turned to look in the cockpit but didn’t find him then he headed to the hanger but still found it vacant.
“Where did he go…?” Rex scratched his head in confusion as he made his way up to the halls of the Crew’s Quarters.
He then started checking the rooms. After looking through four of the cabins, he finally made it to Kanan’s and was thankful to find the Jedi on his bunk, his eyes closed as he mediated.
“Thank the Force I found you,” Rex sighed in relief as he took a step forward, causing the man to flinch. “Hey, mind telling me why the hell did you just left me in the hall?”
“…” Kanan opened his eyes and swallowed but didn’t say anything and didn’t look up.
Rex’s relief reverted to concern, eyeing the other with crossed arms as he waited an answer. After a while, he realized that he wasn’t getting one, so he took the initiative to walk and sit beside him. This action caused the man to tense up, the slowly blood rushing to his face before he scooted away a bit from the clone.
“Kanan…?” Rex was taken by the reaction and looked at the man strangely. When he hadn’t been at-peace with the actions of the clones in the past, Kanan had only yelled and argued with him non-stop until one of them surrendered. Running away from him and trying to avoid him? THAT was new and definitely not Kanan-like.
Kanan felt his face heat and redden to the top of his ears as he moved away even more. ‘PleaseJustLeave… PleaseJustLeave… PleaseJustLeave…’
“Kanan, look at me, please,” Rex’s words voiced more concern than earlier as he reached out and placed a hand on the Jedi’s shoulder.
Wrong move. The moment he did that, Kanan froze up then he took a sprint and ran out of the room.
“KANAN!” Rex got up on his feet to catch up to him, but when he got to the halls, the man was gone. “How in the—?! Where did he—?! Ugh!”
He dashed to the common room then he ran straight to the dining hall and the kitchen. After finding no one, he let out a frustrated groan and stomped to the cockpit. He slumped back on the pilot’s seat and hissed, rubbing his head as he closed his eyes to calm his aching mind.
He liked Kanan, he really, REALLY do, but there are things he didn’t understand with that man. He did things that were so strange that it reminded him of a Padawan that resided in the Jedi Temple before. He had met him once… when the kid bumped into him while trying to get to the clone barracks to deliver a message to Commander Grey. The brown hair and aquamarine eyes of the teenage Padawan reminded Rex of Kanan honestly, and the resemblance creeped him out a bit.
“At least he doesn’t know I’m here…”
Rex shot up the moment he heard Kanan’s voice from below. He went down and crawled over to the view of the gunner to see someone sitting on the gunner’s chair.
‘So that’s where he went…’ Rex had noticed that the door to the gunner was slightly ajar, but he never expected Kanan to go down there unless there was something bothering him. He had recalled the times whenever Ezra went to the gunner to have some alone time after something bad got into his mind, but this was the first time he’d seen Kanan ponder like this.
Rex shook his head with a sigh then he got up to find the door to the gunner. The door slid open, and he entered to hear the Jedi sighing.
“Thought you’d be here,”
“R-Rex!” Kanan was (obviously) caught off-guard by the clone’s presence as he turned with wide eyes and reddened cheeks. “I… How did…?!”
“Honestly, I actually expected you to know that I was coming,” Rex chuckled, making his way to the Jedi’s side. “You know, because of the Force and all…?”
“I… I was busy,” Kanan looked away, avoiding eye contact again. “It’s just… I need some alone time,”
“You could have said something, you know,” Rex frowned. “I could have given you the time. Keep this up, and you’ll end up worrying me all over again,”
“…sorry,” It was barely a whisper, but Rex was able to hear it. “I… I didn’t know you were worried…”
“Of course I’d be worried!” The clone gently grabbed the man by the shoulders and made him face him. “Kanan, please. This ain’t you. When you hate me, you’d pick fights with me. When you like me, you talk to me or challenge me to a holo-game or somethin’. THIS ain’t something you’d do, and you know that,”
Kanan still wouldn’t look at him. In fact, it didn’t seem like the Jedi was listening to him at all. He looked too distracted, too shaken up and too nervous to even pay attention to him.
But alas, Rex waited. Patience was something he had learned back in the Clone Wars. Something that he wanted to actually clarify to General Skywalker since the General almost had no patience whatsoever. Patience was something he knew he needed of Kanan was ever going to speak up.
Finally, the silence broke, and Kanan spoke in another whisper. “…love…”
“What?” Rex was confused, but he let the other explain slowly.
“The… The Jedi Code,” Kanan let out a shaky breath. “The one about love and attachments. I… I’ve been breaking it a lot by getting attached to my Master… my friends… the family I have now, but… now I broke it completely,”
“I heard that code before,” Rex sighed, letting go of the man. “General Skywalker never followed the Jedi rules, and that one was a particular one he never tried to follow. He got attached to Commander Tank, to me, to General Kenobi, and… to his wife, Senator Amidala,”
“I never knew the Master Skywalker’s wife was Senator Amidala… though my master and I theorized it after seeing how close they were,” Kanan dryly humored.
“Had to cover up for the general at times just so he could get a chance to talk to her,” Rex chuckled. “Eavesdropped once and overheard that they were expecting a kid. Never learned if the senator or the kid survived, though…”
“Ahsoka’s looking up on it,” Kanan shrugged. “She said that she saw Master Kenobi escape with a child in his arms,”
“That WOULD be something interesting to discover,” Rex nodded. “but that’s not what you’re trying to tell me, now, right?”
Kanan stiffened. He had wanted to distract the clone with some chatter, so he could have the time to make another escape.
“How… Kriff, Rex, I… I don’t know if I can tell you…”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Rex assured him with a small smile.
“No, you don’t understand,” Kanan shook his head. “I WANT to, Rex, but… I just… can’t… i-it’s hard to explain…”
“The only hint you’ve given me is the whole ‘Jedi aren’t supposed to form attachments’ rule,” Rex crossed his arms with a slight frown. “You said you’ve gotten attached many times already. Why assume that you’ve completely broken the rule this time?”
“…I’ve fallen for someone,” Kanan replied, his voice lowering with his gaze.
Rex’s eyes widened. “…oh. I… I see… mind telling me who or…?”
“You… You won’t take it well…”
“Try me,”
Kanan didn’t respond. He suddenly found the floor interesting as his hands went behind him. He bit his bottom lip, not finding the strength to look up at the other as he held his breath.
“…you,”
“What was that?” Rex stared at the man, not being able to hear the word since it was too quiet.
“You, Rex,” Kanan repeated, a little louder than earlier. “I… I fell for you,”
Rex fell silent. His eyes widened as his mouth clamped shut. He didn’t know what to do even. He debated to either faint or leap for joy, but nonetheless, his body and mind didn’t cooperate, and he stood still as a statue.
Kanan felt the blood rush to his face again, his face falling onto the palms of his hands in shame as he sat back on the gunner’s chair and started to tremble in nervousness.
‘Damn, Hera’s right.’ He thought. ‘I really am a hopeless nervous wreck.’
Suddenly, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He slowly pried his hands of his face and looked up to see Rex grinning at him.
“Is that it, now?” the clone chuckled. “For a moment, I thought you were going to reveal that you were a Sith,”
Kanan blinked at him in surprise before giggling, his cheeks flushing. Rex smiled at this as he hesitantly and discreetly moved beside the Jedi. He wrapped an arm around the man before planting a small and brief kiss on his cheek. Kanan was taken back, but he smiled at the Clone as the other pulled away.
“It’s alright to be attached and to fall in love, you know,” Rex pointed out.
“Before, I didn’t,” Kanan spoke with a dazed smile. “but now, I do,”
With that, he wrapped his arms around the other’s neck and pressed his lips on the clone’s. Rex was surprised by the sudden confidence, but he never pulled away.
He never wanted to.