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You put up a fine face, one that fools everyone into thinking you’re okay. But I can see past it, that mask that you wear, and I can see that you’re just like me. You’re burdened, you’re pained, and you need someone to stand here and tell you they get it. You don’t need me to hold you together, but I think it means a lot that I offer. You deserve it from me, that much I know. You’re not like everyone else. You’re like some sort of calming agent that settles in my being as I inhale you into my lungs. I can’t help but notice that my normal aggression, that fury that I spit at everyone else, around you fades into a gentleness that I can’t control. My hands just land softly on your face, or behind your neck, or in your grasp. I can see that shift in your eyes too; you don’t know it happens, but they glaze over with a peace that’s hard to describe. It’s almost as if you’re trusting that I won’t break you, that I will always take you as you are and you won’t even have to ask me to.
I know there’s something else under the ice blue surface, but I can’t see it clearly, so it doesn’t matter. I know you must have your secrets, or whatever you want to call them. Whoever you are, I love her. I love her like I didn’t think I could love anymore. I know it’s hard for you to open up to me. I understand better now that you’ve told me what little bit you have about your past. I know the unrelenting grief that fills you up when your mother is taken away from you. I mean, even when we look in the mirror, their faces stare back at us. When we speak, their words pour out of our mouths. We’re alike in that horrible unfortunate sense. Is that why you feel safe enough to tell me about that moment that defined your life? Is it because you know my mother was a great monolith that stood as my one bearing, just like yours did for you? It’s not like you have to say a thing about it. I know I said I would leave if you didn’t, but I don’t have that in me. I never will, no matter what I learn about you.
Given what I’ve seen, the way you always keep your guard up, I know you could disappear at any moment. You could just run away and leave me here alone without any idea of where you could be, and you wouldn’t even owe me an explanation. You spent your whole life hiding; what difference would it make to you if you went off to hide again? But here you are, standing before me with enough trust in your eyes that you don’t even need to speak. We’re two sides of the same coin, you and me. We’re meant to understand each other. We’re meant to be drawn together in a furious magnetism like two opposite poles. We’re like life and death, I’ve noticed. In some way, your mother taught you about the power of death and the effects that it has. My mother taught me how to save the infirm, how to take their burdens on to myself for their sake. You know, I’d do it for you too.
When I look at you for long, I can feel that there’s too much in the silence between us for me to really comprehend it. I’m overwhelmed with the emotion that fills my chest when you look at me with that flat expression. The smallest changes in your face make my heart race, from the way your smirk creeps up on the left side of your mouth first, or the way your eyebrows subtlety spring together briefly when I challenge you. Any way I out it, all of those little things on your face, they show me you don’t put out anything unnecessary for me. I get the cleanest, rawest version of you, and that brings out the same in me. If I were to have this, this overwhelming and powerful connection between us, for a minute more and that was all, I’d be happy that I got to hold onto you for that brief moment. I'd look back and smile knowing that I was able to hold lightning in a bottle. But this isn't something that's going to fade away quickly; I know I am destined to be a part of your life for much longer than either of us can comprehend. While I recognize that there's a danger inside of you, I'm willing to battle it for your soul. I'm willing to give you all of me over and over if it means you and I can be the same person. You could tear me apart and I would still love you. Even if that lightning exploded in my hands and filled them with glass, I’d just to stand there and wait for you to let me back in.
Whatever it is that you keep buried beneath, I hope you know that I’ll see past it. It won’t make a difference to me, your carefully guarded secret. I hope you will be brave enough to tell me about it someday, the thing that conjures fear in the corner of your eyes. I only want you to be honest. I only want you to be true, like I will always be to you. You know what I’m capable of. The gentle hands you know, they could lay waste to everything around me. But they’d never do anything to you except hold you together when you need it, if you asked for it. They’ll take on your burdens as my own. You need only ask, and I’ll try my best to heal you too.