Chapter Text
“ when the gods made man, they kept immortality to themselves.
fill your belly. day and night make merry.
let days be full of joy.
love the child who holds your hand.
let your wife delight in your embrace.
for these alone are the concerns of man. ”
- The Epic of Gilgamesh, unknown
prologue
The Annex has never been more sober than it is the day they farewell Charlene.
The younger Librarians are quiet, almost nervous. They never really knew Charlene. For them, she has lived through Flynn’s fond, disorganized stories, through the weighty gaze of Jenkins when her name comes up in ledgers and notes.
If Eve is honest, she knows her feelings for Charlene are more similar to theirs than Flynn’s or Jenkins’, but Charlene is a Guardian too and there’s a bond in that. There’s strategy and fight in their veins, and even more, there’s a certain quality of empathy - of perception, that her Librarians lack. Eve knows that Charlene has cut through to the heart of her first Librarian, and likely many of the other charges that have passed through the Library’s doors. Just like Eve knows the souls of her Librarians and of her Caretaker.
Just like she sees Flynn’s heart, bleeding and broken as his sharp eyes follow Charlene’s last words of advice to her younger charges, who each nod firmly in reply.
In fact, Eve has a hard time keeping her eyes and mind off her Librarian as Charlene comes to stand in front of her. She’s already devising the best method of comfort to employ after this - after all, she also needs to hit him with the truth of DOSA without him losing his mind.
But she owes Charlene her attention, so she refocuses as the older woman greets her with a fond smile and a single word that encapsulates everything: “Guardian.”
Eve smiles despite herself, her posture straightening subconsciously in respect. “Guardian,” she replies.
But Charlene has no use for respect, taking Eve by the slope of her shoulders and pulling her into a quasi-embrace. Eve almost returns it, but then Charlene speaks:
“You will win, and when you do, find me at the Tree of Knowledge,” she murmurs. “Don’t tell the others.”
She pulls back, giving an encouraging smile to Eve, who tries to hide her surprise as Charlene walks over to her Librarian. At the morose look in Flynn’s eyes, Eve pushes Charlene’s whispers to the back of her mind; right now, she needs to be there for her Librarians.
Later, she will figure out what Charlene meant. But watching Flynn and Jenkins as they see a woman who has meant so much to them both pass from their vision for the last time, the secret already begins to eat at her.
-
After the fall of Apep, there are more logistics to figure out than anyone would like. The day after the last artifact had been put back into place, the morning after Flynn and Eve had retreated to their apartment for twelve hours to remind each other that the other was safe and alive, they come into work with their hands tightly clasped.
When Flynn finally releases her hand, Eve’s gaze drifts to the Library doors. There’s a promise she needs to keep, and she’s not sure when she’ll get the best opening.
So when Flynn makes his way to the head of the table, she moves to lean against their desk, keeping a good seven feet between them. Step one: stay away from her boyfriend, who is the most likely candidate to spot a lie. “Now,” he announces to the room, Librarians slowly peeling away from the stacks to gather around the table, “a list of things that need to get done. Jenkins?”
“Yes sir,” Jenkins agrees, stepping forward. “We need to do a final review of the catalog; the artifacts are all returned, but we did not complete the final check yesterday.” Though he appears disgruntled about the lack of work done the day before, Eve had watched him gently carry Cassandra to Ezekiel’s car when she had fallen asleep on Baku’s pillow. She knows that he’s just relieved they’re all safe, although getting DOSA out of the Library and out of their lives is his number one priority at the moment.
“On it!” Cassandra exclaims, raising her hand.
Jenkins nods, giving her a small smile. “We also need to clear out the rubble from the catacombs, and someone needs to make a run for supplies. Also, safety checks on Apep’s sarcophagus are imperative” - here, he nods to Flynn - “Sir, I assume-”
Flynn waves his hand. “Yes, yes. Stone, take Ezekiel for food and medical supplies. Then you two can start on the catacombs. Eve and I will -”
Step two: do not let said boyfriend volunteer them for a task together. “Actually,” Eve interrupts, “I have something I need to do.” Seeing ten curious eyes flick over to her, she shakes her head. “We shouldn’t end this all on a bad note with DOSA; I’m going to call Rockwell and smooth things over.”
Ezekiel scoffs. “That doesn’t sound shady at all,” he quips.
Flynn narrows his eyes. “Hey,” he warns. “Watch it.”
Jake steps in to defend Ezekiel, and Eve adds another item to her list. Step three: do not allow Flynn to be separated from the others because he’s defending her “betrayal”. The last thing she needs is more in-fighting than she already has to deal with on a regular basis, so she straightens her shoulders. “Flynn and Ezekiel will run the safety checks,” she cuts in, and her tone brooks no argument. “Jake and Cassandra will do a run for supplies before they help Jenkins catalog. Capiche?”
Both Ezekiel and Flynn look ready to fight this, but Eve gets an unexpected ally in her Caretaker. “Done, Colonel,” he agrees, staring down her charges until all four of them exit the room.
“Thanks,” she says, giving him a brief smile before turning to the Library doors. “I have some notes to gather in the Library, so-”
But before she can disappear, Jenkins stops her with a gentle hand on her arm, a far cry from the chokehold he held her in yesterday. But the memory still causes her to tense, as well as the memory of Flynn carefully tracing her bruises last night as he made love to her, eyes dark and intense and pained. She hadn’t told him they were created from friendly fire, and she doesn't intend to.
“I gravely misjudged you yesterday,” he says lowly, “even if it was your intention to deceive.” An apology is unnecessary; from the way he can’t meet her eyes, she knows he is still dealing with the guilt of laying a hand on someone he considers family. He pauses. “That is the only reason I allowed you to lie just now.” He releases her arm. “I heard you on the phone with Rockwell last night,” he clarifies. “I know things are… fine … with DOSA.”
Eve sighs, knowing she has been caught. “I made a promise to… a friend. Of ours and of the Library,” she replies carefully. “If you knew who - what it was, you would agree that I should keep it.” Her hand falls on the door handle, waiting.
Jenkins purses his lips, thinking for a long moment. After some deliberation, he nods. “Very well, Colonel. But know that you - and to some extent, Mr. Carsen - are fraying a very thin rope right now. And trust can be mended, but seldom can it be reborn once broken.”
Eve nods, whispering her thanks as she opens the door and descends into the Library. It has obviously been waiting for her to enter alone, and it helpfully lights the way to its Heart.
“Thanks, Ray,” she murmurs, once she reaches the elevator, and the Library twinkles in response.
The forest at the Heart of the Library is no less beautiful than it was when she first came here because of Prospero, and she allows herself to meander through the woods instead of seeking what she came for immediately. The greenery stretches high and splays wide; even when she looks up, she can barely see whatever sun substitute that is above her through the branches. Ray even deigns to name some of the plants for her, whispering words on an artificial breeze as she passes them.
The Lotus Tree. The Tree of Light. The Eternal Daffodil. Raskovnik.
Finally, she comes upon the great stump left from Prospero’s visit. Ray is silent on this one, likely still upset with them for burning it down. She turns to the right, and -
There sits the Tree of Knowledge. And next to it, Charlene with a picnic blanket, casually drinking an iced tea.
Eve is overcome with a burst of anger at the sight, and she storms forward. “I held Flynn while he mourned you,” she says furiously. “Two weeks later, and he can still barely sleep through the night. And Jenkins! He has no one to hold him while he grieves, and you’re down here… picnicking!”
Charlene sighs, the welcoming smile on her face fading to an irritable frown. “And this is the treatment I get for trying to make this easier for you,” she retorts, the picnic lunch vanishing. “Colonel, I am most certainly dead, and there is no way for anyone but you to communicate with me. I want them to grieve. I want them to let me go, because I am only here for one purpose.”
Eve folds her arms over her chest. “And what’s that?”
Charlene studies her, eyes critical and she rises to her feet. More than rises - she floats, and Eve’s vision catches on the way she fades and solidifies intermittently. “Oh, you’re not ready for that,” Charlene says waving a hand. Little particles of light follow her movements. “Now, I have a lot to tell you, and we don’t have much time.”
Eve furrows her brow. “We have at least an hour or so,” she ventures, but Charlene just laughs in response.
“I’ve passed beyond the mirror, Colonel - I can see a lot more than you. Even now, your Librarian’s hand has begun to itch for yours. It won’t be long before he’s actively thinking of you, of where you are, of why you aren’t by his side.” Her expression morphs slowly from irritated to warm. “That boy loves you, Eve. And he’s only just lost me. I suspect he won’t like the idea of you out of his sight for the next few weeks at least.”
Eve feels both warm and uncomfortable. As much as she loves Flynn, she’s a very private person. Hearing anyone talk about the way he feels about her is unnerving. “Okay, so if we’re in a rush, what do I need to know now?”
Charlene sighs, pinning Eve with an intense stare. “Tethering, Colonel. You need to know about tethering. So sit, let me tell you.”
Eve sits, and Charlene outlines the need to have a tethered Librarian and Guardian. Her lecture is precise and detailed, down to the precise timing - and the choice that stands before her, regardless of timing.
“If you choose to tether, the Library will challenge you,” Charlene says. “You, more than your Librarian. It will test your trust in it. Your faith.”
“I trust the Library,” Eve says automatically. “And I trust Flynn.”
Charlene gives her a sad smile. “Hm,” she hums. “Well, Guardian, you’ve got it all figured out, then, don’t you?” But before Eve can dwell on that cryptic statement, Charlene continues: “I know you will choose to tether, Eve. It’s in your blood - to give everything to what you believe. But I want you to think on this: from your experience with Flynn, I’m sure you would guess that the Librarian and the Library are closer than the Guardian and the Library, but you would be wrong. You and I have and will know the Library better than either Judson or Flynn.”
Eve wants to take Charlene on her word, but she knows Flynn. She knows the Library. “The Library loves Flynn,” she argues, “more than it will ever love me.”
Charlene clicks her tongue. “I’m not talking about love, Colonel. I’m talking about understanding. The Guardian and the Library are protectors. You are both distinct from Flynn, from the other Librarians, from every Librarian.” She pauses, suddenly looking older than Eve has ever seen her. “To make the right choice, you can’t just choose to be with the Librarian. You must choose to be with the Library.”
Eve raises a brow. To think about The Library without thinking of Flynn is almost an anathema. The two are tightly bound in Eve’s mind, an echo of each other. They’ve both given her a family and a purpose. “But Flynn clearly factors into any decision I make either way,” she argues. “From what you’ve told me, I would be spending a very long time with them both.”
“You would,” Charlene agrees, seemingly unwilling to say much more on the subject. “Give Galahad the records that the Library is now leaving on your desk. He’ll find my notes about tethering there and you won’t need to explain yourself.” She pauses. “When you’ve decided, both you and Flynn - once you’ve done it - come find me. We’ll have more to discuss then, but for now, your Librarian misses you.”
Eve nods, moving to stand. “I don’t want to lie to them,” she ventures.
Charlene waves a hand. “Trust the Library,” she replies. “And don’t lie, Colonel. You can find a better loophole than that, or I’ve overestimated you.”
Once Eve is back in the elevator, Charlene studies the empty air around her. “I’m not sure this plan of yours will work,” she announces. There is a moment of silence, then: “of course she’s capable - she’s the most incredible Guardian this Library will ever see!” Another pause. “Because no one should know their future. She’s strong, very strong. But I have known the pain she will know if she chooses this path, and she must choose it knowingly.”
There is a longer pause, and Charlene begins to fade. “Because I didn’t choose it knowingly,” she responds to an unasked question. “And if I had known, I might not have made the same choice.”