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When Roman first laid eyes on Janus, it felt as if an angel had graced his presence. There was nothing like seeing him with the smug smile and laugh, the smooth voice, the relaxed and confident aura as well as body language.
It made Roman want to melt into a puddle.
There were many days when Roman would seek Janus’ presence out, perhaps wanting another peek at the ethereal beauty that was his scales and his face and figure, or perhaps it was to seek out a moment to talk, to learn, to understand and to cherish. It hadn’t been long before Roman had come to the realization that Janus had become his everything; he was the reason Roman woke up, the reason Roman breathed, the reason he smiled, he laughed, he cried, he loved.
He loved Janus.
He would sit on his hill, out looking the lands he had created with his own imagination. Even with all of the wonderful creations he had made, he had still longed for more. Longing for a glimpse of mutual desire from his sly snake, or maybe, if he was lucky, a simple touch, comforting, soft. How would Janus feel beneath his finger tips? How would his face fit into his hands? These were things Roman thought about time and time again. It made him feel embarrassed, sometimes ashamed. But the most frequent feeling? He felt lonely. Sure he had his friends and his brother, their company definitely got him through some of the worst days, but even he felt apart from them sometimes. And it wasn’t as if he could ask for what he wanted from them - they would never be able to give him what he wanted.
It made him feel selfish.
He felt selfish, thinking about holding, hugging, kissing Janus. The two of them cuddling, both happy with the other’s presence. Roman felt reminiscent of these scenarios, and it was confusing, especially seeing as he never experienced these in real life.
Real life. It scared him to think about it. He knew how much Logan chided him about having his head stuck in the clouds and never staying in reality. But what was there else for Roman to do? In his imagination he could imagine endless possibilities, anything he wanted, and there would be no consequences for what he thought up. In real life, there could be.
Was Roman ready to face possible rejection? Absolutely not. Was Roman prepared to go through the stress that was confessing to Janus? Heaven’s no. But was Roman ready to let go of Janus? Never in a million years.
He thought it better to confide in someone about his troubles, and so he went to Patton, not that it helped. The fatherly figure was never one to try and bring someone’s spirits down, but that wasn’t helping Roman if it wasn’t the truth. He tried Logan next, which turned out to be as big of a disaster as he expected it to be, the nerd going on an educational rant about how love can affect the brain and the body. After thanking Logan for his time, Roman headed to Virgil’s, hoping the other’s past with Janus might help with the prince’s dilemma. There was more reassurance and pushing to do it rather than advice - also a tad bit of threatening; Virgil was very loyal to his friends.
The last place Roman wanted to end up was in front of his brother’s door, but there was no one else he could possibly speak to. He opened the door and was greeted by Remus, who looked quite confused before he saw his brother’s state. Roman wasn’t sure how, but Remus seemed to know immediately what was wrong, leading the prince and sitting him down on the dirty, moth-eaten bed.
“Love?” was the only thing that he had to ask. Roman lowered his head and nodded, receiving a comfortable shoulder rub from Remus in return.
They talked for longer than Roman ever thought they had, Remus never being the one to keep up a conversation organically. He was able to explain his situation to his brother honestly, surprised when he didn’t get any teasing remarks or judging laughter. When he was finished, he wiped his eyes, emotions crashing down upon him at the last second. He was so tired, he was so drained. Remus leaned in, giving him a hug, a very comforting one at that, and led Roman to his own room, telling him to get some rest.
Roman could figure it out in the morning, his love life could wait a little.
Oh but it couldn’t.
There was nothing but darkness - and of course the nightlight Roman had installed on the opposite side of his room - when Roman heard the creak of his door. Groggily, too tired to be afraid of whatever lurked in the shadows, he lifted his head up, staring right at the door. “Who be goes there?” he slurred.
Who that be there was Janus, who peeked his head in from the door before fully stepping in, hissing quietly. It might have been laughing, but Roman’s mind was still only half-way booted up. “Jan?”
A quick nod answered him and the snake stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind him before heading towards the prince’s bed. He carefully lifted up the comforter and blankets, sliding next to Roman. The grogginess had immediately left Roman’s mind and he jolted slightly as Jan made himself comfortable. There was silence between them as Janus laid on his side, looking at Roman with the large, dark, piercing eyes. The prince was suddenly aware of his heart beat, seeming to shake his whole body. As if he wasn’t in control of himself, he wrapped his arms around the other, his face buried against the crook of Janus’ neck.
A startled laugh came out of the serpent, but it died down to a fond chuckle as Janus returned the gesture, his arms securely around Roman.
No words were exchanged. No words needed to be exchanged. Not when Janus came in, not when Janus came into Roman’s bed, and not when they started cuddling. It was then Roman realized professing his love in the most dramatic way he could, trying to serenade Janus, trying to show how worthy he was of his love - it was all unneeded. That night when Janus curled up against him with the soft tickle of his breath against his shoulder and the wisps of his hair brushing against his face, Roman realized that he was loved. So much. So much in the way he wished, and dreamed. Loved by the person he yearned for. It felt so right to lie there in each other’s arms. He realized, and curled around Janus as well.
Nothing had to be said the next morning either, when both woke up the same time, laughing slightly at the tangled position they ended up in. And nothing had to be said when they both leaned forward willingly, their lips meeting in the middle.