Chapter Text
College . Annie and Bertholdt’s next challenge. That’s also the reason why they’re at the slightly crowded train station saying goodbye to Bertholdt’s mom. That’s where they’re headed, to college.
Every time Bertholdt thinks of it, he can’t help but feel dread inside of him. Pre-school, middle school, high-school, or any of his past learning levels had not been a pleasant experience for him, and, to be honest, he’s not expecting college to be any different other than maybe, worst.
His thinking is interrupted when his mom pulls them both into a bone-crushing hug. Probably our last hug for a while, he thinks as he hugs back with the same amount of affection. “I will miss both of you, so, so much.” Ms. Hoover says. Bertholdt can hear the tears through her voice and he represses himself, holding back his own tears.
Passersby look their way as if a parent saying goodbye to their loved ones is a rare occurrence in a place like this. He couldn’t care less though. He’ll be separated from his mother for an entire year, he wouldn’t let few bystanders ruin their chance of a proper goodbye.
His mom pulls away from the hug after what Bertholdt felt like seconds but actually an entire minute. Ms. Hoover doesn't bother to hide her tears, and Bertholdt had a sudden urge to embrace his mother once more and just weep.
"You keep in touch, okay?" She says. Her hands never left their shoulders, stroking it affectionately.
"Of course, mom." Bertholdt says. He doesn't need to be reminded of that, he'd contact his mom even if he happens to be in the depths of Hell (Funnily enough, college is exactly like Hell according to his thousand searches on the internet regarding it.)
"I'm so proud of you two." Ms. Hoover says, and despite her teary eyes, she's smiling.
"You take care of each other like always, okay?" She adds.
The two of them nod in response. Ms. Hoover pulls them both for a second hug. This time, Bertholdt is sure it only lasts for a brief second before she pulls away to kiss them both in the cheeks. “Now, go. You’ll miss the train.” She says.
Bertholdt almost cry then and there but he holds it. He knows It’d only worry his mother if he sheds tears; his mother is already worried as it is.
--
Her son didn’t tell him, but Ms. Hoover had always known her son’s social anxiety, she’d be an awful parent to not notice her own son’s personal shortcomings. She knew how different his peers treated him, hardly including him in any of their activities; rarely talking to him. And as a parent, it broke her to see her son go through such a terrible experience at such a young age.
She remembers hating herself, thinking that she failed as a parent because she couldn’t do anything for him except being at his side, and even that felt like it wasn’t enough, because, in reality, it wasn’t. Bertholdt needed a friend, and that friend wasn’t her.
It continued for a while, Bertholdt feigning a smile whenever she comes home from work. Ms. Hoover saw through him, and every time she did, she couldn’t help but feel it’s her own fault her son is suffering.
It wasn’t until after the Leonhart’s moved to their town that things took a turn. The Leonhart is a fierce family. They have a daughter named Annie Leonhart, who’s as fierce as her parents.
Although people avoid both Annie and her son, the reasons greatly differ; Annie scares people, and Bertholdt is scared of people. So it was a surprise to see both of them on their living room floor when she came back from work that afternoon.
She still remembers how ecstatic her son that day. With crayons grasped between his little fingers, her son excitedly came up to her with a genuine smile and said: “Welcome home, mommy. This is Annie, my friend.”
Her heart was filled with great surprise because, as sad at it sounds, she hadn't heard her son use the word Friend in that context. She still remembers holding back her tears because she knows her son is too young to understand happy tears and she doesn't want to worry him.
From that day on, her son’s behavioral change was greatly noticeable. Albeit keeping his timid nature, and having only one friend, Bertholdt was happy. And seeing her son in that state was enough for her; she will not pressure him into something he’s not ready. She will let him set his own pace.
--
Bertholdt doesn’t care, he gives his mom one final embrace. “I love you, mom.” He says. “We’ll be back before you know it.”
He pulls away and looks at his mother. “I’ll miss your cooking.” He says. And that's true he heard college is food is stale as hell so he's not really looking forward to that.
He gets the reaction he was aiming for when the three of them laugh. He prefers it this way.
It’ll suck to leave in a gloomy mood.
A loud whistle was heard interrupting their laughter, indicating that the train is minutes away from departing. They have to leave or they’ll miss it. He tightens his grip on his duffel bag. “We’ll be going now, mom.” He says.
“Text me when you get there, okay?”
They both nod.
“Now, go.” Ms. Hoover gestures for them to go already.
It’s hard for Bertholdt, but he turns and starts walk, making sure Annie is trailing behind him.
He doesn’t look back...because now, tears start forming in his eyes.
It’s only when they’re on the train, inside one of the compartments that he started to let it out and quietly sob. Across him, Annie doesn’t speak a word and just lets him cry.
No turning back now, he thinks. He keeps saying that it'll be fine, that it's just college and that he's going to go back. Truth to be told, the only thing that's keeping him from jumping out the train window and running back to his mom (if he magically survives) is Annie. He knows that she'll be there through thick and thin. That helps him calm himself down. He had stopped crying minutes ago and is now staring out the train window as they leave their town behind. His best friend still hasn’t uttered a word ever since they left.
“What…do you think it’ll be like? College.” He asks because he’d been wondering since they even considered going to the Titan University, it’s not as prestigious as the other schools but Bertholdt prefers it that way. At least it’s less intimidating. “And I’m not gonna take ‘it’ll suck’ for an answer.”
“Then I don’t know how to answer that.” She jests, making them both chuckle lightly.
“On serious note…” Annie starts. Bertholdt looks at her and waits. “I think it’ll be fine.” She says with little to no hesitation.
“That’s surprising.” Bertholdt says, taken aback. “Why?”
Annie shrugs. “People there are...more mature, I guess.”
Bertholdt hums in response. “Sure.” He says. Obviously, he's not convinced by that mature bullshit.
And of course, Annie catches it because she catches everything Bertholdt does. “Look, Bertl," She says seriously, looking at Bertholdt's way. "college is very- and I mean very different than in high-school that you're used to. If you're so worried I'm pretty sure people there are probably just gonna avoid you if they don't like you.”
Yeah, Annie, I think so much of what other people think of me, that’s the problem. He doesn’t say that of course. “I’m not worried.” He lies instead, which he’s sure Annie could tell if the roll of her eyes is any indication. “I just hope this Reiner Braun I’ll be sharing a room with doesn’t turn out to be too much of a dick.” He adds. He probably could handle other people being a dick to him because at least he's not going to be interacting with them a lot. But if this Reiner Braun, his roommate who he has to spend most of his college time with, turned out to be one of those people. Nuh-uh, he'd drop out of college for sure. He'd rather be homeless than having to deal with that.
“I think he’s fine,” Annie says opposite him and of course, he's not convinced. “The girl I’ll be rooming with kinda sounds like a hipster." She grimaces.
Bertholdt snickers at that. “What’s her name again?”
“Mikasa Ackerman.”