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It started with the dream.
In the year, since Natsu had come home to him, the bond between them had come to full strength as they both tried to flood it with everything that had been missing in the time apart. Some days, they spent more time talking through the bond, part words, part thought and part emotions; whole conversations conveyed through feeling. That closeness, that depth of feeling almost more than love had caused several unexpected side-effects, of which the ‘dreaming’ was one. It didn’t always happen, and neither of them had been able to pinpoint what caused it, but every week or so one of them would slip into the other’s dream. Natsu had been there, as Gray reimagined Ur’s death on the anniversary of her death, a physical warmth at odds with the chill of the dream, and again when old memories of Silver and the war had twisted into new nightmares. Just as Gray had been there, a witness to the childhood before Fairy Tail that had replayed in Natsu’s dreams, or as an anchor when Natsu had relieved his transformation, the time spent alone, reminding him that he was no longer alone.
Tonight, was one of those nights. Gray always knew when he was in Natsu’s dreams for two reasons, for one it was always warmer, as though the Fire Mage couldn’t help but infuse everything around him with the fire that simmered beneath his skin. Secondly, everything was sharper more defined. When he blinked it was as though he could see the tiniest of details, something his own eyes were incapable of and so could not be replicated in dreams, scents flooded his nose, threatening to overwhelm him. Even the most distant sound was amplified until it sounded like it was right in his ear.
A Dragon-slayer’s view of the world.
Usually, he could see Natsu, a spectator rather than a participant, but not tonight. There was no sign of Natsu, in fact, there was no sign of everyone, and it took him a moment to realise that he was aloft. It wasn’t the first time Natsu had dreamt of flying or dragged Gray into one of those dreams. It was a frequent feature of the dreams of those months apart, empty skies, lonely apart from the odd bird that dared to dart close to the transformed Dragon-slayer fleeing from the life he thought he had lost. Gray was always a spectator, either on the ground, a distant, waiting anchor that could do nothing but wait for Natsu to return to earth or occasionally he would find himself on Natsu’s back. His voice – the words of comfort that he wanted to say – lost to the wind that whipped around them, close, but still a spectator.
Not tonight.
Tonight his – their – breath rumbled in his chest, and a flicker of familiar vermillion out of the corner of his eye had Gray tilting his head, still searching for Natsu. His heart pounding in his chest, when everything came into painfully sharp focus – too bright, too clear, too loud – and his breath caught, as he realised that what he had glimpsed was Natsu’s wing, steadily beating to keep him – them aloft.
But he wasn’t on top of Natsu.
He wasn’t beside him.
He dipped what should have been his arm, and the wing flexed and straightened, tilting his – their – body, which he now realised was too big, too warm. Foreign and familiar all at once. Natsu. Panic gripped him for a moment. And not just because this was something new, something terrifying and he had no idea what he was doing, off-kilter in mid-air, this body that wasn’t his tilting too far to the side. But because he didn’t know where his mate was. He had never seen the dream like this, had never been in Natsu’s mind? Body? He wasn’t sure, and his breathing sped up as his – their – wings faltered, losing their rhythm, gravity tugging on them as they began to plummet.
Natsu!
Warmth. An inferno that wrapped itself around him but didn’t press too close. Protective. Loving. Another mind settling around his, separate but together, a soothing croon that rose in their – his – chest, as Natsu flooded the bond with the image of the Dragon-slayer in his human form curled around a similarly human Gray. A reminder of who they were, of the world beyond this dream, and the Ice Mage seized hold of it, feeling Natsu slipping into the space where the panic had been. Soothing it away, taking control of the dream, of their body, wings finding their rhythm again, steadying them. Too close, part of him thought shivering despite the warmth. Even as another part of him knew that Natsu would never have let him fall, here or in the real world, and now he reached out too in the bond, in this shared body of theirs. His coolness meeting the inferno, gentling it, pressing close and Natsu crooned, the sound rumbling in their chest, too close, too loud, and wonderfully soothing.
A promise.
I’m here.
*
Gray jerked awake, flailing, unsure how long they had been sleeping or dreaming, half expecting to find himself still in the sky, still in Natsu’s body. It felt like they had spent a lifetime in that dream, in one body, together as never before. He could remember the feel of the wind on his – their – scales, the strength in their wings, the gentle guidance of their tail. Natsu had shown him the wonders of flying. A world he had only glimpsed from a distance before, and he felt strangely bereft as his very human hands brushed against rumpled sheets, fingers curling, trying to find some anchor in this world where he was no longer a dragon.
Something shifted in the bond, just as he realised that Natsu’s warmth wasn’t pressed against him even though they always wound up curled tightly around one another when sharing dreams. Natsu. He recognised this sensation, bolting upright on the bed just as warmth flooded the room, and all he could see was flames, as the bond contracted and tightened. As though they were being squeezed through a narrow space, pressed together even though they were physically apart, and for a moment just as in the dream Gray couldn’t tell where he ended and Natsu began. Somewhere there was a bellow – not quite pain, but close – and he wasn’t sure which of them it was, as the bond shifted again, expanding, growing, the world splitting apart and above it all. Beyond the vortex of flames gripping him – them – inside and out, Gray heard the sound of wood and stone being splintered and erupting outwards, and he winced, even as guilt flooded the bond that was beginning to clear.
He was up and out of the bed, the flames retreating now, vision clearing as he was confronted with the sight of what had been the left wall of their bedroom. It now looked as though a bomb had gone off, the wall shattered outwards, exposing the room to the open air, the wood floor and ceiling scorched, embers shining brightly and as he watched more rubble fell. It’s been a while, Gray thought, already dismissing the damage. It had happened a few times in the beginning. When Natsu had struggled to hold his transformation for long and before he had learned to recognise the signs that his control was slipping. It had been months since that had happened, but tonight seemed to be one for differences and Gray rushed forwards to the edge of the room. Avoiding a gap in the floor and peering outside, biting back a yelp as olive, cat-like eyes blinked at him from the darkness that was only just beginning to lighten with the promise of dawn.
“Natsu…” He breathed, and the Dragon blinked at him and then looked away, a low noise building in its throat, and there was a fresh surge of guilt in the bond. “Wait there,” Gray ordered, already moving. Edging away from the damage until he could break into a jog, heading downstairs and out into the clearing that even now they kept carefully maintained for moments like this.
Natsu hadn’t moved far, although he had retreated from the house as though worried about damaging it forward, settling back on his haunches, wings folded, and head lowered. He knew that Gray was there, hurrying across the grass towards him, the tip of his tail – curled protectively around him – twitched, although he didn’t look at the Ice Mage and shifted when Gray didn’t stop, moving right up to him, and reaching out to rest a hand on his scaled chest, fingers gentle.
For Gray it felt a little different this time, the dream lingering close to the surface as he gently stroked the soft scales, shivering a little as he remembered how it had felt to be in that body. Natsu felt the shiver, the tremor that leaked into the bond before Gray could stop it and moved as though to retreat from the gentle touch, from Gray, just as he had back then, and the Ice Mage jolted forward in alarm. “Don’t!” It was too loud, Natsu flinching a little and Gray mimicking, his senses still a little too sharp, as though they weren’t entirely separate even now. “Natsu…” Gray started again, softer this time before trailing off, the entreaty dying on his tongue. Don’t run away, he wanted to plead. Don’t leave me alone again. He couldn’t imagine going back to that time, to losing the bond that roared and rippled between them, binding them closer and closer by the day. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say the words, to admit how much he feared losing Natsu again.
He didn’t have too.
Despite his best attempts to keep those thoughts, that fear to himself, it must’ve slipped through. The bond too far open now to conceal it, because he felt Natsu’s realisation and understanding, before warmth, the same soothing warmth that had flooded him when Natsu had taken control of the dream flooded the bond. Wrapping around him like a blanket, and pulling him close, and he blinked as he found himself within the protective curve of Natsu’s forelegs, as Natsu’s head curved down, resting against his shoulder in a rough embrace.
“I’m not.” In this form, Natsu’s voice lost its echo, becoming a soothing rumble that filled Gray’s body as they pressed closer. “I…” He lifted his head, and Gray caught a fleeting mental image of the damaged cottage and knew that Natsu was looking at the destruction his transformation had caused, and he was opening his mouth, ready to reassure him that it didn’t matter when Natsu laughed.
Gray had heard him laugh in this form before, but not like this, curled together, so the gentle, rumbling chuffing noise was right in his ear, and he had never realised how infectious it was. A smile already tugging at his lips, as he pulled back enough to look up at Natsu, catching a flickering, almost montage of all the times that Natsu had wrecked places whether as a human or a dragon. “No, you haven’t changed,” he murmured with a quiet laugh, and Natsu blinked down at him, soft and wondering. Gray straightened, feeling the flicker in the bond – doubt and fear, hope – reaching up to stroke Natsu’s snout, unworried by the sharp teeth he could see, or the size of the Dragon’s head and body looming over him. “You’re still my Flamebrain,” he added, leaning up to press a kiss to the scales, watching in wonder as colour -a deeper red, closer to Igneel’s colouring - flashed across Natsu’s scale. It took him a moment, and the sight of Natsu ducking his head to realise the idiot was blushing.
He had made a Dragon blush.
Incredulous, he could only stare at Natsu for a moment, and this time he was the one to start laughing. It was ridiculous, all of it. That strange, terrifying and wonderful dream that they had shared. The destruction of their bedroom wall – and he could just imagine the jokes that were going to follow when they roped the others into helping them fix it, although he would enjoy Natsu’s embarrassment at the teasing. And now Natsu blushing in this form, and he couldn’t stop chuckling. Doubling over as Natsu made a strange crooning, chirp at him, the bond alight with confusion, followed by embarrassment and then shared amusement, and the mental image of Natsu – in his human form, laughing and wrapping his arms around him. Just as he had hundreds of times before, a lifetime of rivalry, friendship and love rolled into a single mental embrace.
Gray laughed himself out within that mental hug, wrapped tight in his mate’s embrace, and he could feel Natsu relaxing too. He knew that the doubts and fears, the worry about this form would never entirely fade, but for now, at least they were banished into the background, and he waited, half-expecting to feel Natsu shifting back now that he was calm. But, when he eventually lifted his head, reaching up to wipe at the tears of laughter on his cheeks, it was to find Natsu studying him with a contemplative expression, one that promised something, and Gray shivered slightly.
“Natsu?”
Natsu lifted his head, looking up at the sky for a moment, now distinctly lighter than it had been although there were still stars twinkling against the blue. Gray followed his gaze, heart swooping in his chest, as for a moment the dream – or maybe it was a memory – flashed through his mind, of great wings beating against a similar sky, and when Natsu looked towards him, he swallowed, nervous and excited all at once. “Are you suggesting…?” He couldn’t even put it into words.
“Only if you wanted to,” Natsu swung his head towards him, on a level with his, looking at him closely. Searching for something, and Gray could feel him in the bond too. Wanting this, but unwilling to push too far, ever worried about what his mate wanted. What did he want? He closed his eyes, not hiding from Natsu, but searching within himself. Part of him was scared, remembering the loss of control in the dream. But that was a dream. This was real, and he knew that Natsu would never let anything come to him, and he knew that even before he opened his eyes to look at Natsu that he had always known what his answer was going to be, reaching out to press a hand to Natsu’s snout again and smiling.
“I want to.”
The noise that Natsu reminded Gray of how excited the Dragon-slayer had always been about going on an adventure as a child, wonder and excitement overcoming him, as though everything else – even Igneel – melted away for a moment. The bond between them alive, and humming, and as Natsu moved, rising from his haunches and flexing his wings, Gray realised that this was where the dream had come from. That at least on some level Natsu had wanted to share this with him, whether as a final bridge for those months apart or because he had picked up on Gray’s frustration at just being a spectator in those dreams. His own heart quickening with excitement as he stepped back, giving the Dragon room, as Natsu spread his wings and arched his back for a moment, stretching, his tail whipping around behind him. He was a spectacular sight, glistening beneath the lightening sky, muscles bunching beneath his scales as he turned and padded away from the house to avoid causing any more damage before halting and peering back at Gray.
The invitation was clear, and Gray didn’t hesitate, closing the distance to him as Natsu crouched and held his wing back, crooking a leg to give Gray a foothold. “Are you sure?” Gray asked as he reached out and was rewarded by the sight of a Dragon rolling his eyes before Natsu thrust the leg closer and Gray took the hint and carefully scrambled up, trying not to catch any of the scales.
It felt different, he realised. He had never shied away from Natsu in this form, touching him without hesitation, but as he carefully swung his leg over Natsu’s back, finding a space between the wings and the arched neck, and the spines that lined Natsu’s back, it felt different. As though they closer, or more. Not like they had been in their dream, because he was Gray, and Natsu – stirring beneath him, shifting his wings to make sure that he wouldn’t catch the Ice Mage – was separate, and yet something had changed. The bond had always been stronger, clearer when they were touching. Now it was singing, a joyous choir that wrapped around them, a beautiful blend of crackling flame, and the whispering creak of distant ice, beneath the laughter and a love that needed no words. There were tears in Gray’s eyes as he stroked the scales beneath him, before slowly wrapping his hands around one of the spines as Natsu lifted his head and let out a roar.
It was triumph and joy, and a finally shifting acceptance of what he was…
My Flamebrain, Gray thought.
“Are you ready to see my world?” Natsu rumbled at him, arching his neck around so that he could see him, giving him a Dragon grin, eyes bright with mischief and Gray took a deep breath, grip tightening, before he shook his head and shot Natsu an admonishing look.
“I’m ready to see our world.” Our. Their shared dream. Their bond. All of it given flight, and the bond sang again with Natsu’s agreement, his relief and excitement, as he sank back on his haunches, gathering himself. Gray could feel the muscles contracting, the sheer power of this form that would never hurt him, as it rippled outwards and upwards, as Natsu sprang into the sky.
For a moment, it was nothing like the smooth control from their dream, Natsu’s wings beating hard to lift them up and over the house, still smoking in places, and above the trees that had become their sanctuary. Then they were in the sky, the world opening up behind them, and Gray realised that the dream hadn’t come close to the reality as Natsu took them a little higher before he evened out. His warmth a balm against the chill of the wind, the sun only just starting to peer over the distant horizon, weak fingers stretching out towards them as Natsu angled towards it.
It was easy as breathing for Gray to close his eyes, to sink into the bond between them. Still, himself, legs pressed against warm scales – and he was going to feel this later, hands wrapped around the spine, and yet not, as his mind met Natsu’s, and he – they blinked. Separate entities, looking out at the world through a single pair of eyes, and it was overwhelming – more so than in his dreams, this world that Natsu could see, smell and hear – and yet so beautiful, that he found himself wondering how Natsu could have given it up. How he could have curled his wings and come back down to earth.
Natsu – they – blinked, and suddenly Gray could smell the wintry scent of pine, and fresh snow that he knew must be his own scent, feeling the press of cold – his ice – against the warmth of their shared body, the rightness of being together and contentment of a Dragon at peace with his world.
His mate.
For me…it was all for me, he realised.