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It was a quiet night and Dinah was on her bed and staring at the ceiling, the events of the previous day ran in her head and bothered her sleep and the deep wound in her hand hurt more with every passing minute. She tried to sleep, but the pain was stronger and the bandage was tight against her hand.
She didn't want to tell Mia or Laurel that they didn't-really-managed to take out all the shards from the arrow Mia accidentally shot at her, so she tried to take them out herself, and they were apparently right to scoff at her medical skills, because her careless sewing felt as it was beating and even though she took the all shards Mia and Laurel left, the wound hurt more than it hurt after Laurel stitched it slowly and carefully… and maybe it was just the feeling of Laurel’s rough hands on hers.
Whatever it was, the pain kept her awake.
The room was completely dark, except for the light coming from her phone every few minutes when she got a text. It was quiet and if Dinah concentrated really hard she could hear Laurel’s breaths from downstairs; they were fast, loud and strong, and exactly when Dinah was starting to worry she heard a scream from Laurel’s direction. A sound of shattering glass was heard and the whole building shook.
Of course, -Dinah thought- When Laurel is scared she can’t control her cry.
Dinah ran downstairs, her heart beating strongly from fear, only to find Laurel sitting on the couch in a fetal position and breathing heavily, her gaze directed at the floor and her eyes filling with warm tears. She didn't say a thing, just sat next to Laurel and hugged her while she was shaking in her hands.
They sat like this for a few minutes, Laurel’s breaths were fast and heavy and Dinah didn’t plan on leaving her until her breath would get back to it’s normal pace. Cold sweat was on Laurel’s forehead and Dinah could feel her heart beating strongly. She didn’t react to Dinah’s hug; she did not give herself to her and did not resist, she just sat there and kept shaking in her worried roommate’s hands.
Dinah stroked Laurel’s bare arms and the soft touch made Laurel feel some kind of security she lacked, but she was still trembling and her breathing was still heavy and she still didn't dare to open her eyes, reimagining the nightmare again and again in her head. With her eyes closed she felt safe.
She couldn’t name the feeling Dinah made her feel and she didn’t want to admit it, but she loved it. Dinah’s hands were soft and warm and her hug was nice and Laurel couldn't help herself from laying her head on Dinah’s chest, she felt she could stay there forever.
But when Dinah asked her what happened after a few more seconds of silence, the moment was over and Dinah got back to being Laurel’s roommate and nothing more.
“It doesn't matter Dinah, really.” Her voice was weak and shaky despite her attempt to stabilize it and speak in her usual firmness, “I’m fine.”
Dinah didn’t let go and just nodded, holding Laurel closer. The feeling of Laurel in her hands was different than everything she ever dared to imagine; Laurel was small and fragile while Dinah wrapped her in a hug and that was the first time she didn’t try to escape or move away the second Dinah put her hands on Laurel. Laurel didn’t hug her back or gave herself to the hug in any way, but she did not resist it, and as close as they were in that moment, Dinah could feel Laurel’s heart beating strongly and her body trembling in a kind of rhythm that in a matter of seconds Dinah had grown familiar with.
She promised herself she would never let Laurel shake like that again. It was a terrible feeling, seeing Laurel so soft and fragile, and Dinah didn't want it to happen again.
Slowly, Laurel’s heart returned to a normal pace and her breaths got quiet, Dinah let go of the hug and went to get her a glass of water, but when she came back she saw that Laurel was shaking again. She put the glass on the small coffee table and sat next to Laurel who immediately cringed, leaning on Dinah in something that Dinah could swear was supposed to be a hug; She felt Laurel’s nails grabbing her arm and even though it was a tad too close to her wound that she almost managed to forget about because of how worried she was for Laurel, she did not complain and let Laurel return to the sense of relaxation she had before Dinah left.
Laurel drank the water from the glass Dinah gave her in a half trembling hand and gently let go of Dinah’s arm that became red from the prolonged squeeze.
She was still shaking and still seemed small and very fragile and Dinah only wanted to help her, but she didn’t know what to say and how, so she just stroked Laurel’s thigh gently and quietly and waited for her to do something.
She finished all the water in the glass but she didn’t put it back on the table, she kept it in her hand, devoting herself to the coolness that remained from the water and slowly regulated her breath. Dinah’s hand still moved on her thigh and she didn’t feel a need to resist. The touch was soft and pleasant and she could see sincere worry in Dinah’s face. She didn’t want her to let go.
Laurel’s eyes were red and her cheeks flushed, and when Dinah moved her hand on Laurel’s cheeks to wipe her tears she felt that they were warm and sticky of tears and all she wanted to do was hold Laurel close and hug her until all her pain would go away; But she couldn’t and only asked Laurel if she wanted to wash her face, the latter refused and cuddled Dinah to get into a comfier position.
With her head on Dinah’s thighs and her palm close to Dinah’s, almost close enough to intertwine their fingers, she mumbled in a small voice that she had dreamt about Sara.
Dinah wasn’t sure she heard right and she didn’t want to make Laurel uncomfortable, so she kept quiet and looked at Laurel who somehow knew she was ready to hear what she had to say. Laurel took a deep breath before telling Dinah about her nightmare, and Dinah realized that what she heard was accurate.
Laurel told that she saw the storm at the sea and could almost smell the salty scent of the water and feel the heavy rain on her skin like it was on her sister’s, she said that she wasn’t there and she don’t really know what happened and Dinah guessed that that was what made it so awful- Laurel felt as if she was there and if it really happened, but almost ten years had passed and and she don’t really know what happened. Dinah could feel Laurel’s pain when she described how the waves took Sara from the boat’s deck and how the last thing she saw before Sara drowned completely was her hand, which she described as small and far and lost.
And then Dinah asked Laurel to tell her about her sister, and Laurel’s voice was trembling when she described Sara’s big smile and blue eyes that had a special spark in them just for her; She told Dinah about the days they had hiked in Starling and explored the city as if they were tourists, and about how Sara comforted her on their birthday when they heard Quentin died, and about how they met Oliver Queen and Laurel felt she had no choice but to “love” him, she added in a lower tone that looking back she knew it wasn’t real love but she still missed him dearly.
Dinah couldn’t hug Laurel because she was laying with her head on Dinah’s legs, so she stroked her hair and took in Laurel’s scent of laundry gel and smoak, Dinah could barely hold her laugh when she realized that Laurel fell asleep before she showered after they came back from their mission.
Without noticing Dinah wrapped a piece of Laurel’s hair around her finger while she was talking. They stopped talking about Sara for a while and now talked about other stuff that by the next day they had already forgotten and Laurel’s voice had stopped trembling; It sounded tired and her sentences became a lot shorter.
“Do you want to sleep?” Dinah asked, her hand still in Laurel’s soft and smooth hair, she didn’t want to admit it but she didn’t want to move her hand from the blonde’s hair; but she felt Laurel nodding so she got up gently, her hand supporting Laurel’s head and helping her lay her head on the white pillow she slept on every night. It was the first time since Laurel had moved in that she looked at the pillow she gave her, and she noticed that there were dry tears on it. It hurt Dinah’s heart and she bit her lower lip, about to go back to her bed, but exactly when she started walking towards the stairs she felt Laurel’s hand grasping her wrist.
She looked at Laurel’s sparkly eyes that had small and almost invisible tears gathering in them, and felt how Laurel started trembling again with only her hand touching Dinah’s warm body.
“Stay with me.”
These three words, however short and small, made Dinah’s heart skip a bit and her feet to go back next to Laurel, almost uncontrollably. She smiled at Laurel and their eyes met for a split second, the look was short and quick but it, also, made Dinah’s heart skip a bit and her smile had widened.
Laurel didn’t even ask Dinah if she could stay, she just let her know it was going to happen and for some reason none of them noticed ... or maybe they both did and chose to ignore it. Whatever it was, Dinah’s touch calmed Laurel and the feeling that Laurel needed her warmed Dinah’s heart; So they stayed on the couch in complete silence. The only sound in the room was droplets of rain falling down the window in a calming pace that made Dinha’s eyes close on their own, her hand on Laurel’s body who was breathing heavy and quiet breaths; But she fought the sleep off since she noticed Laurel didn't appear to be falling asleep anytime soon.
“Hey.” Dinah’s voice was quiet and calm and soft, “Do you want me to… sing to you?”
Laurel was a little confused by the question, but she felt herself nodding and heard Dinah singing in her sweet and soothing voice and she wanted her to never stop.