Work Text:
Maybe it was because her father was an emotionally abusive man – who failed to teach his children the value of self confidence, love and acceptance, rather he taught them to feel with anger.
Or, maybe it was because her father had taken away her mother when she was still a child learning about the world and how to love.
Or, maybe it was because she – herself grew up to be an insufferable perfectionist, with an absolute need to be in control of everything.
Or, maybe she didn’t trust her husband and his opinions.
Or, maybe it was a combination of all of these factors that led her to this moment in time.
She was trying to grow as a person, she truly was, after all, she had a new life she was responsible for, and she wanted to be the best mother, the best role model, and the best wife.
Here she was, parked in the driveway of her brother’s house. Her heart was beating fast, it wasn’t that her and her brother had a bad relationship, it was opposite actually, as adults they were friendlier than they were as children, years of conflict and resentment had slowly eroded away through the help of counseling, and their respective spouses. No, her heart was beating fast because she wanted the help of her sister in law.
She bit her lip.
They didn’t have the best relationship, and she knew – she was the main culprit for their strained relationship.
When Zuko initially told her, he was dating a water bender from a southern tribe, whom wanted to be a doctor and was on a scholarship in Caldera University, she had scoffed, her brother deserved better – at least, he deserved someone who came from a better family.
Sue her, she was an elitist, but she was working on it.
And when Zuko told her, he intended to marry the water bender, well she had lost it. And may have accosted the water bender at their own engagement party. Needless to say, she had kept her distance from the water bender for years, only seeing the other on family gatherings and birthdays.
But this occasion was different, she needed the water benders help. She pulled down her car mirror, gave herself a once over and pulled her pony tail tight, she could do this.
The door opened within a second of her ringing the doorbell.
“Azula?”
“Hello Katara, I apologize for coming here unannounced.” Azula internally cringed as she heard the words come out of her mouth more assertive and forceful than intended. She wasn’t a soft speaker by nature, but she needed to figure out how to sound more jovial.
Katara’s face was marred with confusion.
“I’m sorry, Zuko’s not home.”
“I’m not here to see Zuko, may I come in?” Azula gestured to go inside the home, this seemed to knock Katara out of her confused state.
“Of course, I’m sorry if the house is messy, I haven’t had a chance to clean yet. Zuko went out with Izumi a few minutes ago, and I’ve been trying to catch up on laundry…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say and trying to pick her words carefully.
“You are probably wondering why I am here, and let me explain…” Azula gestured for Katara to sit down with her, “I need your help, as you know I have recently had a bebe, and I’ve been working to adjust my schedule, Lee’s and well everything that comes with that type of life change.”
Katara nodded, still not quite connecting where this was going, as far as she knew, Azula had everything under control, certainly more so than herself, Azula scheduled everything down to a T, she knew for a fact that Azula could even predict when diaper changes would need to happen for Kimiko, Azula’s new born daughter.
“…Therefore, it may come as a surprise to you that I do not have myself under control. I have been struggling with figuring out who I am anymore.”
Katara’s hand reached out for Azula’s, “it’s okay, no one does, I didn’t when Izumi was first born, and I’m still figuring out who I am aside from a wife and a mother.”
She looked into Azula’s amber eyes, and was surprised to that her eyes were rimmed red, “I look at myself in the mirror and all I see anymore is someone who’s tired, who hasn’t showered, with a dirty shirt on and pants, hair that hasn’t been done in months, I shower and dread even looking in the mirror, I’m wearing spanx right now, I can’t do this anymore, I keep on lashing out at Lee thinking he doesn’t love me, or that he’s in his office hooking up with some broad. I love my bebe, but I wish I could do something for myself. I want to be Azula again.”
Katara squeezed Azula’s hand, “I know.”
“How did you do it Katara?”
“I haven’t?”
“What do you mean, you said you were cleaning your house, and Zuko says everything is going great.”
Katara laughed, “No, I haven’t cleaned the house in over a week, every day, I spend it at home with Izumi, and I chase after her, make sure, I clean up all of her messes, try to get dinner made, everything piles up. I get some time to myself when Zuko goes out with her on daddy and daughter dates, or when I con Sokka into taking her for an hour or two, but I don’t have things under control.”
“Why don’t you get a nanny?”
Katara knew she had to pick her words carefully, Azula was more prone to bursts of frustration than Zuko, “Zuko’s position as CEO at your family’s corporation allows me the privilege of being able to be at home for Izumi full time, and I want to enjoy that time with her, I lost my mom at a young age, and this is a way for me to remember my mom but also be able to enjoy Izumi’s childhood with her. At least until she’s independent enough for me to go back to work at the hospital.”
“Are you saying that I’m a bad mother for having a nanny?”
“Azula, no, you need to do what works best for you, Zuko has mentioned to me that you’re still actively heading the marketing department, I can’t imagine that’s easy with a new born at home.”
Katara steered the conversation away from the topic of nanny’s because she knew it was a hot topic to discuss, “you said, you’re having trouble finding yourself in what way?”
Azula sighed, “In all ways, I think my ego was hit the hardest with my inability to “bounce back”, you know all those blogs with the new moms, they all look great and happy.”
“You do know that’s not everyone, I’m still not bad at my pre-baby body or weight, but I like my new body more, it shows the life I created.”
“Save me that, I’ve read those blogs too. Lee says that I look great, he says he loves me, but I don’t believe it.”
“You don’t believe it because you think he’s lying, or because you’re insecure?”
“I’m insecure, okay?” Azula’s tone came out more harsh than intended, but she felt cornered and she wasn’t used to being vulnerable in front of Katara.
“How could he still want me? Want this weird version of myself, the one with the stretch marks because all those creams didn’t help, the one that has to wear spanx to try to tuck it all back in, I want to fit into my old shorts and jeans. How did you bounce back?”
“Honestly? I wore spanx for months, I think that I first started to get back into the groove of things maybe six months after I gave birth to Izumi, my grandmother always said that rest is the best healer after birth. I took time to rest, I spent most of my time learning how to be a mother, and eventually, when things began to settle, I would ask Sokka and Suki, or Zuko for an hour once a week that I could go on a walk alone.”
Azula arched a brow, “what are you, Sorrest Yump?”
“Okay, Sorrest Yump ran across all the nations for months, he didn’t walk. But my point is, the hour walk once a week, turned into a daily one hour walk, where I was able to have time to myself, and begin to naturally exercise. It gave me time to get a part of myself back.”
Azula still didn’t look at all like she believed it, “I call bullshit, there was a two week period, between Izu’s first birthday party and Zuzu’s birthday where we saw the other, and you looked totally different, I want that story.”
“Well, I began to go to the waterbending gym and that helped me lost some of the baby weight…”
“No no, keep going, I know there’s something else.” Katara looked into Azula’s narrowed amber eyes, “what secret are you not telling me?”
“Do you promise not to laugh?”
“Oh god, don’t tell me you bought one of those miracle creams, or spent money on that awful pyramid marketing scheme for weight loss drinks.”
“No, I followed workout videos that I found online.”
At this Azula arched her brow and leaned in, “the online workout videos actually worked?” Her voice was incredulous.
“Let me show you, give me a second to grab my laptop.”
.
.
.
“Okay, so these are it, they are intense but they work.”
Azula scrolled through the workouts, her eyes showing disinterest, “I am not impressed, this cannot be the secret.”
“I’m telling you it is, I don’t know how else you want me to prove it to you.”
“Do one with me.”
Katara looked at Azula expecting to see mirth in the fire benders face only to find her amber eyes glaring at the screen with expectation.
“Let’s do one workout Katara, how bad can it be?”
Within ten minutes both of them were on the floor, Azula struggling to catch her breath, her arms feebly trying to get herself back in plank position.
“Where has my core strength gone?” She gasped through breaths, “There was one time when I confronted your brother – Sake?”
“Sokka,” Katara corrected in between breaths.
“Yes, Sokka, we were in University, at the quad, and they were playing capture the flag, and I had the best core strength from years of gymnastics and martial arts training, but I could do a planche, and now, what happens now?”
“Azula, you still look great, I don’t know what your worries are.”
“THIS Katara, THIS! I can’t do high knees, and if I hear that music one more time, I will claw my ears out.”
“Tear, you mean tear.”
“No Katara, I mean claw, clawing would be less painful then going from spiderman planks to mountain climbers with less than 5 seconds rest.”
“Do you want some water?” Katara was still on her hands and knees, her sweat still falling from her face onto the yoga mat underneath her.
“Please.”
Katara winced as she pushed herself up, her heartbeat still rapid, she held her hand out for Azula to grab, “Come on, let me show you to the kitchen.”
They both leaned on the marble counters sipping on water, both looking around the kitchen trying to find any words to say.
“Your kitchen is cute,” Azula’s voice cut through the silence
“You know, Zuko once told me that your meaning of cute is something childish and quirky.” Katara said lightly
“He wasn’t wrong.” Azula deadpanned back, “You have a light blue stand mixer, it doesn’t get more quirky than that and your kitchen itself, it’s cute.”
“I bet you don’t even have a stand mixer in your kitchen, it’s probably all industrial modern.”
Azula’s voice was sharp, “My standmixer is red, the color of dominance and power. When people come into my kitchen, I want them to fear me and fear how good the food will be that comes from it.”
Katara mashed her lips together and arched an eyebrow and looked at Azula, Azula’s amber eyes bore into her blue for a moment before laughter filled the kitchen.
After a moment Azula composed herself, “thank you for today, I appreciate your time.”
“Of course, anytime let me know when you plan to come over.”
“Will you text me the link to those videos, I think, I will keep doing this.”
They stood at the front door, Azula looking around as if not quite knowing what to do next, did she shake Katara’s hand? Offer a hug?
Her questions were answered when Katara pulled her in for a hug, “Thanks for coming over, this was fun.”
“Thank you for having me,” Azula’s previously groomed manners coming out, her voice firm and strong, she turned away before turning back, her voice now vulnerable, “can you not tell Zuzu about this? I don’t want him to think that I’m weak.”
“Don’t even worry about it.”
Azula turned away and offered Katara one last half smile before walking to her car.
Today was a good day.
Maybe this could turn into a weekly occurrence.
Maybe something corny like Workout Wednesdays.
.
.
.
Katara watched Azula’s bright red car pull out of her driveway, she leaned against the door, cleaning could wait until tomorrow.
For the first time since she had even begun to be friends with Zuko, she felt like Azula did approve of her, normally what other people thought about her didn’t matter, it was water off of a duck’s back. Azula was different though, she was Zuko’s only sister, and even the sibling relationship between was strained for years due to family dynamics. It would take work for her and Azula to have more than a cordial relationship, considering their rocky start, but there was hope.
She smirked to herself, who knew Azula had sass, maybe when things were better, she could properly introduce Azula to Toph, the two sass queens could duke it out for the ultimate sass queen title.
She was so caught in her musings, she didn’t hear the door open, but she did feel a pair of little arms wrap around her legs.
“Mama!” She picked up the small child, her amber eyes looking into her blue ones.
“Izumi, did you have a fun date with daddy?”
“Mhm! We went to park!”
“Did you feed the turtleducks?”
Another enthusiastic nod.
“She had too much fun, she needs a bath tonight before bedtime.” Zuko’s gentle voice cut through as he came in the door.
“I can see that; her hair is a mess.”
Zuko winced, “I’m sorry, it was my bad, I let her run around with some of the other kids at the park.”
She waved him off, “It’s fine, she’s a toddler, it’s her job to have fun and get messy,” she bounced her daughter, “why don’t you go pick out your pajamas for tonight, and bring them down here, then I’ll give you a bath in mommy and daddy’s big tub, hmm?”
“K, mama!”
Her and Zuko watched Izumi run up the stairs, he turned to her and asked, “did I see Azula’s car leaving our neighborhood?”
Katara let out a strained cough, “no, why would you say that?”
He raised an eyebrow, “no reason, other than the fact, she’s the only person in town with a customized red Mclaure-“
Katara cut him off, “maybe she was looking to buy a house in the neighborhood.”
“Maybe…” his voice trailed off, “I guess, we can invite them to dinner if that’s the case, we can give them a rundown on HOA fees, the perks of living here…and I’m sure Izumi would love to see her cousin.”
She kissed her husband, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”