Archive of Our Own

Billy’s leaning down over her. Except it’s not Billy, not really. But El knows he’s still in there, she knows he’s not dead, not gone yet.

And if she can just reach him. Just a little. A few seconds. If he will just let her in, then perhaps she can help him. Help him save them both.

”7 feet. You told her the wave was 7 feet.” El can hear his mom’s laughter. ”You ran to her, on the beach.” The face in front of her blends into the younger version. The one that was happy. “There were seagulls.”

Billy looks at her and turns his head to the side, like he’s trying to listen. Trying to break through.

“She wore a hat... with a blue ribbon. A long dress...” El gasps. She thinks she’s crying. “With a blue and red flower. Yell-Yellow sandals. Covered in sand.”

She thinks she’s doing it. That she’s managed to reach him. His eyes are open wide and his lips are slightly parted. He’s not looking at her. She thinks he might be looking at the memory.

“She was pretty.” She can see the fireworks exploding behind him. Purple, pink. Blue and red. His eyes have fallen closed. “She was really pretty.” El sobs and nods along to her own words. She thinks Billy’s crying above her. Feels a tear hit her cheek. She’s reached him. He’s there. “And you... You were happy.” She smiles at him and reaches up to place her hand on his cheek. Feels him tremble. ”Billy. Let me in. Please.”

El closes her eyes and feels his mind open up to her.

This time she lands on the beach at once. She can still see the storm, sees it getting closer. She turns away from it only to find Billy sitting in the sand. But it’s not the child version she saw before, it’s teenage Billy. The seventeen-year-old. He’s got his arms around his knees, which are pulled up to his chest. He’s leaning his chin on them. The wind is blowing his hair away from his face, and his eyes are focused on the wide blue ocean before him.

Just a few steps behind him stands his mother. She’s got her back to them, and her white dress and blonde hair are blowing in the wind. She’s turned towards the storm, like she’s staring it down, daring it to come any closer.

Safe .

Curled up into a ball and with his mother standing guard, El realises this must be the safest Billy’s been in a long while.

“Safe.”

He slowly moves his head up from his knees and looks up at her. He doesn’t say anything.

El walks up to him and falls down in front of him. The sand is soft against her legs.

“Billy. You have to come back.”

He just sighs and turns back to the sea. “What if I don’t want to?” He sounds so exhausted.

“You have to,” she simply says. Because to El, it is simple.

“Nobody has ever cared about what I wanted.”

Nobody cared about what El wanted either until she met Mike and the rest. She wants Billy to meet them. To actually get to hang out with them. She thinks they might be able to help him.

She reaches out and grabs his chin. Turns his head back to her. “Nobody ever will unless you come back. Please Billy. Fight. You have to fight. You’re... you’re my only hope.”

He sucks in a shuddering breath and squeezes his eyes shut. She sees a few tears escape.

His mom must have moved, because suddenly she’s standing right behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“William. Sweetie. Go.” She reaches up to her neck and El realises she’s got a medallion around her neck. No, not a medallion - the medallion. The one Billy always wears. His mom takes it off of herself and leans down to place it around Billy’s neck.

He grasps it, tightly, as soon as he feels it’s familiar weight.

“Mom...!” The word is nothing but a gasp.

His mom lets her hand move into his hair, starts carding through the locks. “Shh, sweetie. Come on, William. Go.” She kisses his head. “I love you.”

And El’s thrown out of his mind.

—

Steve would like to say, in his defence, that he was kinda busy. Busy with goddamn Russians. So he hasn’t thought about his - his what? His almost-lover? God! - whatever Billy is, in a couple of days.

He’s been distracted. At first, he’d thought it best to give Billy time. Space. And then Dustin had come back with a secret Russian code and Robin had demanded they’d let her help and somehow they’d gotten Erica Sinclair into the whole thing, and damnit Steve, this is not what a good babysitter does , and then they were in a room that was actually a lift and Steve had won his first fight and then he and Robin were captured and there was drugs, so many drugs, and he’d been punched and Steve was trying to surf - which made him think of Billy, because of fucking course it did - then they’d gotten out and Dustin had told them to watch a movie, but it was a weird one so they’d left and then they had to throw up and suddenly they were collapsed on a public bathroom floor, which was fucking disgusting , and somehow both he and Robin had ended up coming out to each other, which actually felt amazing, but then Dustin was back and shouting at him and shit. So yeah, Steve’s been a bit distracted. He’s had no clue the Mindflayer had taken Billy as its new host. He didn’t even know it was back until recently. Fucking hell.

He’d just gone along with the kids’ plan and started throwing fireworks at the fucking monster. But now their fireworks are gone and Billy is standing up from where he was leaning over El. Steve hopes he’s somehow come back to himself, that he’s Billy again, that he’ll grab El and run. But he doesn’t. He just stands up and turns to face the monster. It’s steadily advancing towards them. But Billy doesn’t move. He stands his ground.

And as the monster throws one of its tentacles out towards El, Billy reaches up and stops it with his bare hands. Steve can hear him screaming.

He wants to shout at him to move, to get away, wills himself to move and run to him but he can’t, he’s standing transfixed, staring, can’t believe his eyes, doesn’t want to believe them, because Billy’s hurting and Steve can’t listen to his screams anymore without feeling like breaking down.

Another tentacle shoots out and hits him in the side, then another, and they just keep coming. Steve stops trying to count.

Realistically, he knows he can’t hear the sound of Billy’s body hitting the floor, but it feels like he can and it echoes through the drug induced haze his brain has been in. It’s enough to bring him out of the freeze he’d fallen into.

“Billy!”

And then he’s off, running down the stairs and he thinks he can hear someone calling his name, but he just keeps running until he’s falling to his knees besides Billy.

El’s sitting up on her elbows, and she’s staring. Distantly, Steve breathes a sigh of relief that she seems okay. Some part of him is aware that the Mindflayer has died. That it screeched and flayed about before falling, still on the floor. He can’t concentrate on that though. Not when Billy needs him.

There’s so much blood. It’s coating Billy’s white top and running out of his mouth with every gasping breath he takes.

Steve doesn’t care. He just reaches for him, gently scoops him up so his head is resting in his lap. He places his palm on Billy’s cheek and turns him so he’s meeting Steve’s eyes.

“Billy, Billy, you idiot, why did you do that?!”

He thinks Billy might be trying to smile, but with all the blood on his teeth it looks more like a grimace. A horrible mockery of a smile.

“H-Had to... Had t-to f-fight.”

He thinks he hears El let out a gasp from behind him.

Then Billy coughs and groans when it jostles his wounds. Steve immediately lets go off his cheek and pulls off his own shirt. The uniform’s already ruined from Steve’s vomit and blood. It’s beyond saving. Billy isn’t. He bundles it up and presses it to where most of the blood seems to come from. Billy tries to arch away from it, tries to pull himself out of Steve’s hold. Steve pushes him back down.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Billy, shit, you have to stay still, I need to stop the bleeding, please, please Billy...”

And suddenly Max is there, Steve sees her red hair out of his periphery, feels her against him as she falls down on Steve’s side, down by Billy’s legs. She’s got a bunch of clothes in her arms, and she dumps them all on Billy and presses down.  Billy lets out cry and Steve sees tears escape so he reaches up and brushes them away, but then Billy’s hand is fluttering at his side and so Steve reaches out and grabs it instead. He hears Billy let out a sigh at the contact. Then Billy’s turning his gaze to look at Max.

“I’m s-sorry. For b-being a-an asshole.”

Max looks at him and nods her head. Steve turns to her and sees she’s got tears running down her cheeks. No. This isn’t... No.

Then he’s seeing a trembling, shaking , bloody hand reaching up and settle on his cheek. He can feel blood coming out of the palm where it rests against his skin. Billy’s not strong enough to turn Steve’s head, so Steve does it for him.

He can feel Billy’s thumb stroking the tears falling down his cheek. He didn’t even realise he was crying.

“Steve,” Billy whispers. “I’m sorry I r-ran away. A-And I’m sorry f-for h-hitting you. I wish I’d k-kissed you instead. Thanks for kiss-kissing m-me. It- It was the best...”

“No, Billy, stop. Stop! You’re talking like you’re going to die. You’re not, okay? I won’t let you. I won’t.”

Billy’s eyes flutter closed for a second. He blearily opens them again. “It hurts so- so much S-Steve. And I’m so tired...” His hand falls from Steve’s cheek.

Steve’s shaking his head, but then Max is pushing herself forward. She grabs Steve’s arm. “Steve. He’s tired.”

Steve screws his eyes shut for a second, then he’s looking back at her and nodding.

She nods back before she’s grabbing Billy’s hand and bringing his attention to her. Her voice is soft when she speaks.

“Hey. Billy. It’s okay. You can sleep. I know you’re tired. It’s okay. Just... Just promise you’ll wake up again. Please. And we’ll be there. You won’t be alone. I promise.”

Steve squeezes Billy’s hand. “Yeah, just promise you’ll wake up. And I’ll be there to give you as many kisses as you want.” He huffs a laugh. It’s a sad sound. “My Sleeping Beauty.”

He thinks Billy might be trying to laugh, but it probably hurts too much, so he just closes his eyes and gives in to the exhaustion.

Steve lets his head fall down to the mountain of clothing on Billy’s torso and tries to breathe. He can feel himself shaking with silent sobs.

Then he feels a small hand on his shoulder and hears Max’ voice from somewhere above him. “Steve. It’s okay. He’s alive. He’s only sleeping. He’s alive.”

He looks up at her and nods. Everything smells like rot, and blood, and vomit. He’s dirty; sweaty and bloody. He feels nauseous. But he knows he can’t focus on that, knows they need to call an ambulance or something, knows Billy needs help.

“We- We have to get him to a hospital, Max.”

She nods and reaches for his hand.

Then Robin’s there, kneeling beside him on his other side, and she’s looking at Steve with so much sympathy it feels like his heart will break.

He looks up at her, aware of how crazy he must look, shirtless and bloody with Billy passed out in his lap.

“Robin. We have to call an ambulance. Please. Can you do that? Please?”

She looks from him to Billy and back again. “Steve... I- He’s-“

“He’s not gone! Not yet! Please, Robin!”

She bits her lip but at least she’s nodding, determined. “Okay.” She starts to stand up, but she never gets the chance to move from them.

The doors burst open and groups of armoured men with weapons rush in. They spread out around the room with their guns pointed at the monster lying in the middle. After them, a man in a lab coat steps out. He lets his gaze wander around the room, at Nancy and Jonathan, Lucas and Will, Mike and El, before it falls on their little group. He starts moving toward them, and Steve doesn’t know who he is, can feel his protectiveness flare up. He wants to hide Billy from view. Trusts Mike to hide El.

Steve is so tired of men in lab coats destroying their lives.

But he can’t move from where he’s holding Billy. He won’t be fast enough. He doesn’t want to stay on the ground either though. It feels too vulnerable.

Robin - amazing, wonderful Robin - stands up and places herself in front of him and Billy and Max. She stands like a protective guard above them. Steve feels eternally grateful for her. “Who are you?” she says once the man reaches them.

“Dr. Owens.” He tries to look behind her and nods towards Billy. “Is he still alive? I need to look at him. Please let me through, young girl.”

Robin stands her ground. Steve feels like she wouldn’t move even if they opened fire at her. She’s a mountain. ”I don’t know any ‘Dr. Owens’. Who are you? How do we know you won’t just take him and kill him? Hurt  him? Experiment on him?”

The man - Dr. Owens - sighs. It’s like he’s used to conversations like this. “You don’t. But if he’s still alive then he doesn’t have much time. If you want him to live, you’ll let me and my medical team take him.”

“That’s not good enough! After the night we’ve had-“ Robin starts to say, but Steve’s brain kind of turns of and panic fuelled instinct takes over.

He just reacts. He reaches out and pulls Billy closer to himself. They’ll have to pry him out of his hands to get to him. He won’t let anyone else hurt him. “No! I won’t let you take him! I don’t trust you, I don’t trust any of you people, and I’m not leaving him! I promised I wouldn’t lea-!”

“Hey! What the Hell is going on here?! Where’s my daughter?!”

Steve stops shouting and looks up. On the other side of the mall, coming up from behind the soldiers - agents, whatever they are - are Hopper, Joyce and Murray.

“Dad!” El shouts from a little bit away and they both take off running. Joyce stops at Will’s side, and Hopper falls down beside El and Mike. Murray stares at the Mindflayer.

Dr. Owens turns to Hopper. “Jim.”

Hopper tears his head away from El and looks up at the other man. “ What? ” he barks.

“Could you please tell this young woman that I mean no harm to her or her friends? We don’t have much time.” He gestures at Robin, and past her, at Steve, Billy and Max on the floor.

Hopper stands up and walks over to them. “... Is that Hargrove?” He’s staring at the way Steve and Max are holding on to Billy like he can’t really understand what he’s seeing.

“He saved me,” El pipes up and Steve has to remind himself to thank her because Hopper’s entire demeanour changes.

He turns back to Dr. Owens. “Save him.” Then he’s pointing at Steve. “And you lot? You let him. He’s on our side.”

Robin nods and moves to the side. Dr. Owens shouts an order at his people and one of them runs away. The man himself sits down on Billy’s other side. He holds up his hands.

“You have to let go off him, son. Come on. I’m going to make sure he lives. But you have to let me look at him.”

Steve wants to. He trusts Hopper, and if Hopper says it’s okay, then it has to be, but he’s still so afraid and his hands are clutching at Billy and he doesn’t think he can let go.

“Steve,” Max softly says. “You have to let go off him.”

He turns to look at her. “I can’t.” It’s no more than a whisper.

Dr. Owens reaches out, slowly, and unclenches Steve’s fingers. “All of you have been through more than anyone your age should ever have to experience.” He gently rolls Billy off Steve’s lap and just as a group of medics swarms them. Robin grabs ahold of Steve and pulls him back, helps him stand up.

Steve’s still staring at Billy, but he can’t see him from the wall of white. Robin takes him by the back of his head and pulls him down so he’s resting against her shoulder. She puts her arms around him. Only then does he realises that he’s trembling. And he’s getting her shirt wet with tears.

“Rob-“

“Shh, Stevie. Just let it out. It’s okay. We’ll all be okay.”

Steve didn’t realise how much he needed to hear those words until he’s hearing them. It makes him cry harder.

It’s just a few minutes later that Robin’s pulling back. “It’s not that I mind you crying on me, it’s just that if you want to go with your boyfriend you’d better get on it now, ‘cause they’re about to move him.”

Steve doesn’t bother correcting her. He doesn’t actually know what Billy and he are to each other right now. But he wants to find out. So he turns away from her and sees that the Dr. Owens and his team have got Billy up on a stretcher between them. He’s just about to walk up to them when he sees Max. Lucas has an arm around her and she’s staring at her brother.

Steve goes up to them.

“Max. I was going to go with them. Do you want...?”

She looks up at him. There’s a smear of blood on her cheek. Steve doesn’t want to know what he looks like.

“No... I should stay here. I need to talk to my mom. And his dad. Tell them where he is. But Steve? Stay with him? Please. He doesn’t like hospitals. I... I don’t want him to be afraid.”

Steve has to swallow around a sudden lump in his throat. “Sure thing, Max. I’ll take care of him.”

He turns back to the group surrounding Billy and walks up to them. They haven’t taken the clothes Max put on him away, but they’ve put an oxygen mask on now.

“I’m coming with you. I’m not leaving him.”

A woman turns to him and smiles apologetically. Steve can’t help but feel like she’s looking down on him. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think-“

Robin steps up from behind Steve. “We were tortured and injected with unknown drugs by the Russians in the basement.”

“I’m sorry, what-?”

“You have to take us with you and check us out. Right, Dr. Owens?!” she shouts and the man in question turns away from the man he’d been talking to. He seems amused when he looks at Robin.

“Right.”

Robin smiles and grands Steve’s hand. She gives it a little squeeze.

”Thank you,” he mouths.

She smiles and shrugs. “I’m amazing,” she mouths back.

She really is.