Chapter Text
It was a typical night for the Birds of Prey. Another day. Another warehouse full of goons that can lead them to the ring leader. Renee was being the more serious out of the three. Helena was quiet unless provoked by Dinah. Same old story. Except there was one thing different about tonight.
"What's with the mask", Helena asked in a hushed voice, so as not to blow their cover.
"What are you talking abo-" Dinah took one look at Renee and began cackling with laughter.
Renee was wearing a tan featureless mask over her entire face. She had a hole cut out of the back so her hair could be out and she wore a large navy blue fedora on her head. They couldn't see it but she was rolling her eyes. She pulled the mask up from over her face to reveal an expression of annoyance. "Alright, lovebirds. What's so funny?"
It took a few seconds for the two of them to answer her, as they were laughing so hard. Once Dinah was finally able to talk, she said: "The mask is stupid"
Helena snorted with laughter, while Renee scoffed with disgust. "It is not stupid!" The more she laughed, the redder she got. She turned so red that she had to pull the mask back over her face. "What about you, crossbow? You've got a mask on."
Dinah shot her an amused look. "It's a small mask. At least Helena doesn't look like Indiana Jones and they had all their facial features removed."
Helena chuckled some more. "Yeah, and also..." Helena fell silent, struggling to think of a good joke. Renee and Dinah just sat there, waiting. Helena's face lit up when she finally came up with a joke. "You don't have a face!" Helena started cackling and Dinah joined in. She didn't think it was all that funny but it was great seeing Helena enjoy herself so much. It was also great watching Renee get so annoyed. They couldn't see her expression, due to the mask. But they didn't need to. They could tell.
"Oh, ha ha ha", Renee said sarcastically. "Ya know, Canary. Just because you've gone on a few dates with Crossbow doesn't mean you have to laugh at everything she says"
Dinah scoffed before lovingly looking over at Helena. "What can I say", she asked, as she pressed her forehead against Helena's. "She just makes me laugh"
Helena almost melted. She was loved it whenever Dinah pulled her close."I make her laugh", Helena bragged, once they separated.
Renee shook her head. "Yeah, that honeymoon phase is always great but, sooner or later, you're gonna start testing each other every single day"
Helena's smile faded and an upset look appeared instead. "Are we?"
Dinah gripped her hand. "No, we're not", she said, giving Renee the stink eye.
Renee groaned. "I'm sorry for being so cranky, okay? I'm new to this whole 'sobriety' thing"
The three of them fell silent again. This was a bit of a touchy subject and Renee really wanted to better herself. So they didn't want to say anything that would upset her. Even Helena, who never exactly had a filter, knew she had to choose her words very carefully. "Congratulations on the chip"
Dinah put up a smile, choosing to follow along with Helena. "Thirty whole days, huh? Just think. Another thirty more and then-"
Renee raised a hand up to silence them. "Can we just focus on the operation right now?
The other two shared a knowing look and nodded at Renee. As Renee let out a sigh of exasperation, Dinah stood up and peeked through the warehouse windows. She started muttering to herself before referring back to the others.
"I count seven. Six goons in clown masks. And one woman."
"A woman?"
Dinah nodded. "Yeah, a woman. Tall one. Black hair. Those weird clown makeup circles on her nose and cheeks."
"Damn", Renee remarked. "Sounds like an anti-Harley"
"What's with all the clown stuff", asked Helena, much to the bewilderment of Renee and Dinah.
"It's the Joker's men, babe"
"Who?"
"The Joker", said Renee, apparently believing that if they simply kept repeating the name then it would sink it. She turned to Dinah. "I thought you were gonna fill her in on everything that was going on"
Dinah began speaking in a defensive tone. "I did! I told her we were gonna start going after Gotham's most dangerous criminal."
Helena awkwardly looked back and forth at the two of them. "Right. That could've been anyone."
Dinah sighed, exasperated. "You know... Harley's ex."
Helena sat there for a second and Dinah swore she could've seen the math equations floating around her head. Then, her eyes suddenly went wide. "Oh! The Joker! I remember now. Yeah, let's go kill his guys." She raised her crossbow and pointed it at the window. "What's the call?"
Now, Renee was looking in too. She examined each of the goons. Indeed, the only one that stood out was the tall woman. "What do you two think? Should we go for the lady?"
"It's your call", said Helena.
Dinah looked around frantically. "Why is it my call?"
"We voted you the leader"
"Helena wasn't gonna do it and I was too much of a drunk to lead a team. So what's your call?"
Dinah took one last glance in the window. She noticed that the tall woman was the only one without a gun. "I say you take out one of the goons"
"Any one of them?"
"Any one of the-"
Before she could finish, however, Helena shot an arrow through the window, shattering the glass and hitting the neck of a goon standing in the center. As he collapsed, all the other men surrounded him, observing him as the life slowly left him.
Dinah's heart starting racing a million beats per minute. "What the fuck was that?
Helena was aghast, mostly at the implication that she somehow did something wrong. "I mean, you said to shoot anyone. Was that not an 'okay'?"
"See", Renee chimed in with a smug tone. "You're already testing each other."
Dinah turned to Renee, giving her the stink eye again. "Okay. You know what-"
But as she did this, Helena reloaded her crossbow and shot another goon in the neck. This time the guards didn't choose to watch him die. They instead pointed all their weapons at the window.
"Get down", said Helena, in a raised hush.
The three ducked under the window as the men began shooting at them. Dinah stared in disbelief (Renee stared to but the mask covered whatever look was on her face). "You shot another guy?"
Again, Helena seemed a little thrown off by their disbelief. "They were all distracted! It was the perfect time to attack! Now they're down by two!"
"Communication is key to a relationship", Renee joked.
There was fury in Dinah's eyes. "I will shoot you with Helena's crossbow"
The two of them squabbled some more until Helena spoke up. "They stopped firing! They're reloading!"
"Well, what are you waiting for", asked Dinah. "Go! Get in there!"
The three of them jumped in the window and the four remaining goons took aim at them. Helena shot another of them in the eye. As he screamed in anguish and clutched his bleeding eye, he ran into another goon, causing the both of them to fall to the ground. They were now four guys down.
Before the other two could fire, Dinah kicked one of them in the chest and Renee managed to tackle the other to the ground. Dinah picked up the goon's gun and shot him. As that went on, Renee managed to get the upper hand on the man she was tackling However, he managed to successfully aim the gun at her. However, Helena noticed and shot him with her crossbow. They were now six guys down. As Renee stood up, short of breath, something dawned on her.
"What the hell? I thought we were gonna leave one guy alive! Question him and he'll lead us to the big guy."
Helena scoffed. "Well, there's still the tall woman. We didn't get her yet."
"Wait", said Dinah. "Where the hell is she anyway?"
None of them could see it but the tall woman in the clown makeup was hidden in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike. She silently crept up behind Helena like a snake, switchblade in hand. As she stepped out from the shadows, she raised her switchblade up at her but not before Dinah could look over and notice.
"Helena, look out!"
She jumped at Helena, shoving her out of the way, sending both of them tumbling to the ground. Before hitting said ground, however, Dinah felt a searing pain in her side. While Helena stood up, Dinah found herself lying on the ground, any sort of movement too painful. She heard Helena and Renee's voices.
"Dinah!"
"Oh, shit"
Dinah lifted her head just high enough to catch a glimpse of her side, only to discover that her side was bleeding. The clown girl must've taken a shot at her when she tried to save Helena. Her eyesight was growing more and more fuzzy. She saw Helena before her, telling her she was going to be okay. She saw the woman in the clown makeup pick up one of the goon's guns. She saw Helena pull out a pistol and aim it at the clown woman.
Dinah took a deep inhale, ready for defense. Renee took a glance at Dinah and realized what was about to happen. As the woman began to aim, Renee pulled Helena away for her safety. Before she the woman could shoot, Dinah let out a deafening canary cry so forceful that it pushed the woman so hard she flew off her feet and it the wall, hitting the ground, unconscious. Renee and Helena crouched behind her, their ears covered. Once Dinah saw that the woman was out, she went silent. And after that, everything went black.
When Dinah woke up, she was in a completely different place. The light from the window made it obvious that it was morning already. Instead of a warehouse, she was laying in a familiar bed. Helena's bed. She took a deep sigh of relief. She was alive and well. There was a delicious smell coming from outside the room. Before she could figure out what it was, Helena walked in, smiling and holding two items wrapped in tin foil.
"Hey! you're up!", said Helena, racing over to Dinah's bedside. "You, uh... You hungry?" She offered one of the objects in foil. "It's one of those disgusting egg sandwiches that Harley always goes on about."
Dinah sat up in bed, smiling at how thoughtful her girlfriend was. She took the sandwich from her, unwrapped the foil, and almost took a bite before a thought crossed her mind. "Wait, if it's so disgusting then why did you buy two?"
Helena awkwardly stared at her feet. "Well, yes. It's a processed, greasy mess. On the other hand..." She took one look at the sandwich and immediately unwrapped the foil and took a huge bite out of the sandwich. "It's soooo good", she said, muffled, as her mouth as full.
Dinah chuckled before taking a bite out of her sandwich. Once she was able to talk, she only had one question. "So what happened after I blacked out?"
"Oh, that... didn't... go well" Helena took another bite of the sandwich to try not to answer further.
Dinah eyeballed her. "Helena..."
Helena sighed. She tried to avoid eye contact with her. "I took you home, patched you up. That's the kind of stuff they taught me in Italy. Well... they taught me how to do it on myself but I can also do it on others. Renee stayed behind to take care of the clown girl but as soon as she stepped back in, she was gone."
Dinah looked defeated. "So we're back at square one, then?"
Helena nodded. She saw the look on her face and felt ashamed. "I'm just gonna..." She grapped the tin foil from DInah. "I'll throw this out." Before she could leave, Dinah grabbed her hand.
"Hey... Thanks for stitching me up" Dinah shot her a sultry look.
Helena, always the oblivious, simply smiled and nodded, pleased with herself. "You're welcome. I'm gonna go throw out this tin foil."
Dinah chuckled and gripped Helena's hand even harder. "You are something else, Helena Bertinelli" She leaned in and whispered seductively into Helena's ear. "I want you to stay in the room and make out with me, dummy."
Helena's eyes went wide. "Oh!" She eyeballed Elena again and, once everything sunk in, she bit her bottom lip. "Ooooooooooooooh..."
"Yeah..." Dinah grabbed Helena by the scruff of her shirt and began to slowly pull her in close. Helena closed her eyes, ready to feel nothing but Dinah. The space between them slowly began to disappear while they slowly began to feel each other's warmth...
And then a loud banging noise interrupted them before anything could happen.
Dinah sighed and fell back onto the bed. "I'll get it", said Helena. "You rest. It's probably just Renee."
Helena got up and walked all the way over to the door. She took a deep breath so she didn't scream at whoever was knocking for interrupting her and Dinah. She then threw open the door and saw the last person she wanted to see that day.
"Hello, Tall, Dark, and Socially Awkward!"
"Hey, Harley"