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Muscle Memory by warcriminalapologist
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
28 Oct 2014
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Summary
Sometimes he thinks he'll go insane. Sometimes he wakes up in the street with a knife in his hand, thinking he should report to someone, but who? Sometimes he wakes up screaming soundless screams, drenched in sweat from a dream he can't remember that only left behind a pervasive sense of wrong, wrong, wrong. Sometimes he spends days doing nothing, walking around like he's thinking or going somewhere, when really he doesn't even know he's moving.
He collapses twice from lack of food, and once from lack of sleep. He forgets what hunger's supposed to feel like, lets go of what sleep is supposed to bring. Sleep never brings him anything but screams of people he did or didn't or maybe killed when he was or wasn't himself, whoever himself was.