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So here’s the funny thing about fusion.
Sometimes, when two Gems fuse, their fusion isn’t a balanced mix of all of their traits (or as balanced as you can get, with a fusion like Malachite). No, for some Gems, their fusion is a grab bag of traits from each thrown together precariously into a bowl and whipped without much care for the mess it makes.
Case in point, Steven and Peridot’s fusion: Tourmaline. Peridot is very technically intelligent, whilst being emotionally a bit dense. Steven, meanwhile, is the opposite. On the technical side, Steven’s never had much luck, but he is quite emotionally intelligent.
Thus, their fusion can be smart in both ways, intelligent in one way but not the other, or in rare instances, a complete moron in every way.
Today is one of those days.
“Hehehe, nachos.” Tourmaline’s usual peppy voice, a good match for their typical mile-a-minute mouth, was quite absent today. The fastest they were getting was when something left them a giggling mess.
For example, something like the bag of Chaaaaps stuffed with cheese in the microwave.
“Ooooh.” As the light show began in the microwave, Tourmaline stared in wonder, pressing their nose against the appliance to get a better look. See, both Steven and Peridot would clearly understand you shouldn’t microwave a bag of chips. But they weren’t here right now. There was only Tourmaline.
“No!” The shrill voice of another tugged Tourmaline from their state of enrapture.
All at once, they were pulled away from the microwave, sent spinning to a stop a moment later.
“You know you can’t put metal in there!” the voice called. As Tourmaline’s brain caught up with them, they finally realized who it was. Pearl, here to save their day. She reached into the microwave, pulled out the burning mass of cheese, metal, and chips, and dumped them into the sink.
“Awww, but my nachos!” Tourmaline whined, toddling over to the sink before Pearl pushed them back. She took a moment to wash the bag down the sink before sighing.
“Cream cheese on potato chips does not make nachos!” Pearl scolded, folding her arms as she turned to face them. Pouting, Tourmaline did the same, folding their arms to mirror her. Pearl sighed. “Having a slow day, then?”
Their frown disappearing, Tourmaline nodded. In time with that, their stomach grumbled, telling Pearl everything she needed to know. She reached up and ruffled their hair, getting a giggle out of them.
“Why don’t I get you something to eat?” she suggested, stepping away and looking at what the house had at hand. She began muttering. “I’m certainly not trusting you to work the stove yourself, that’s for sure.”
Making her point, Pearl began pulling the knobs from the stove and putting them away.
“Mhm!” Tourmaline nodded again in agreement, hopping out of the way and onto a kitchen stool in one motion. In the next, they pulled Steven’s phone from their pocket, propped it up on the counter, and laid their head down to watch videos as Pearl got to work.
Pearl couldn’t help but smile at that. Tourmaline could be a handful during their slow days, but there was something almost charming about it. They were like a child in a way.
“Alright then, what will it be?” Pearl asked, catching Tourmaline’s attention. “There’s cereals doused in a cow’s milk, a breakfast cake cooked in a pan, pasta in a cheese—”
Pearl quickly realized she was losing their attention.
“Er, how about some macaroni and cheese?” she suggested, to which Tourmaline excitedly nodded back to. Smiling, Pearl turned and got the ball rolling.
Despite not being a fan of eating food in the slightest, Pearl could do well enough cooking it. It was relaxing in a way. A clear set of instructions to follow, firm, guiding her way through the process. Doubly so today with such a simple dish. In no time at all, Pearl finished a pot of macaroni and cheese, scooping a helping into a bowl and topping it off with a fork from the drawer.
“Here you go,” she said, placing the food in front of Tourmaline and pinching their cheek.
“Thankies!” Tourmaline gave Pearl a big smile as they sat up, pulling themselves in closer to the counter.
Satisfied with herself, Pearl let out a sigh of content, closing her eyes for a moment. Good work, Pearl. A fire averted, a Gem fed, a clean-up avoided. Three out of three. Not every day do things go so well, but you got it down pat.
Pearl opened her eyes to find Tourmaline’s hands deep in their macaroni.
“Tourmaline, no!” Pearl rushed around the counter, grabbing one of Tourmaline’s hands before it could reach their mouth. She was too late, however, to reach for the other hand before it messily shoved a handful of macaroni in. “Gahhhhhh!”
Grabbing their other wrist, Pearl brought their arms together into a lock. With one motion, she reached up to her Gem and pulled out a packet of baby wipes, immediately getting to work to wipe their fingers from cheese.
Tourmaline giggled like a child at that, a single macaroni rolling off their chin and onto their shirt. This was fun in an odd way.
It became very unfun as Pearl finished with their hands, driving a baby wipe into their face next. They resisted her attempts for a few rounds, ducking and dodging the wipes. Persistence won out in the end, however, and Pearl eventually got them, holding the back of their head and wiping the cheese from their face.
“Why are you acting like this, you know how to use utensils!” Pearl scolded, crossing her arms. “You’re not some kind of human infant, Tourmaline.”
Tourmaline huffed at that, crossing their arms again to mirror Pearl.
“You got me a fork! I can’t eat mac n’ cheese with a fork,” they explained, pouting.
Sighing, Pearl broke from her pose. They were right in a way, but not that right. Walking back into the kitchen, Pearl retrieved a spoon. Before handing it to Tourmaline, however, she pulled it back, drawing a look of confusion from their face.
“First things first, go change your shirt,” Pearl directed, pointing to the mess of macaroni that was left behind on their clothing.
“Fiiiine.” Tourmaline turned in place on their seat before reaching down and pulling up their shirt. Satisfied, Pearl leaned forward to place the spoon by their bowl.
Until she realized they had gotten stuck.
“Oh for goodness’ sake,” she groaned. Stepping forward, Pearl got to help pulling the shirt over the absurd amount of hair the fusion had, finally managing it after a few moments of tugging. Before Tourmaline could stand up, Pearl reached up to her Gem and pulled out a spare copy of Steven’s shirt she kept on hand. “Here, let me help. You’d probably get lost, anyways.”
Tourmaline didn’t argue as Pearl fed their arms through the holes of the shirt before pushing their head through as well. Without a hitch, they were back in a clean shirt.
“Thankies!” Tourmaline gave Pearl another smile and thumbs up, which she rewarded with the earlier promised spoon. With that, they turned and scooped out a spoonful of macaroni. Before they could deliver it into their open mouth (and honestly, to the immediate area around their mouth as well), however, a sound caught their attention.
The sound of Pearl pulling something from her Gem.
Tourmaline didn’t even have a chance to turn before Pearl wrapped something soft and loose around their neck, securing it in place with the sound of velcro behind them.
“Huh.” Tourmaline looked down at their chest, taking a few moments to process what Pearl had put on them. Then, it clicked.
A bib.
“If you want to act like a human infant, you get to eat like one too,” Pearl said, patting their head with a self-satisfied smirk. “That, and I don’t trust you to not make another mess of your shirt again.”
Tourmaline stared up at Pearl for a good minute there, gears visibly turning in their head as they tried to put together a cohesive thought. Then, they smiled.
“Okay!”
“Huh?” Pearl cocked her head at them as they turned, scooped up their bowl of macaroni, and offered it forward to her. A moment passed. “What?”
“If I gotta eat like a baby, you gotta feed me!” Tourmaline explained, giving a big toothy grin at that. In their mind, that was the most obvious conclusion they could come to about all this.
Pearl sighed as the bowl was pushed into her hands. In retrospect, perhaps leaning into all this wasn’t the best idea. Tourmaline was more than happy to play along.
Putting on a smile, Pearl took a seat by their side, eliciting a clap of excitement from Tourmaline. If they were gonna push her, she wouldn’t give. She wouldn’t blink first. Pearl was going to win this babying game.
“Open wiiiide,” she said with a sing-song voice, scooping up a spoonful of macaroni and offering it. Hopping up and down in their seat, Tourmaline leaned forward and happily accepted it.
And at some point in the day, Pearl had forgotten what she was trying to win.