Chapter Text
Can you pass by the Grocer’s to pick up some milk on your way home?
The phone of my screen brightened, displaying my notification. It was my younger sister, Annie. I replied quickly, shoved my phone back into my pocket, and made a mental note to not forget.
“Oi, Bobby, what’s the hold up? Is the last batch ready, lad? Are we clear to go home?” There was an echo from the hallway leading into the kitchen. We were cleaning off for the remainder of the day and were waiting on the last batch of scones for tomorrow morning.
“Yeah, mate. Just putting them aside to let them cool off. I think we’re all set.” I replied as I closed up the oven and looked around the bakery for a last-minute inspection.
Dishes? Set. Daily list? Check. Cleaning? Done.
Hell, I even got around to get a head start for tomorrow to ease the load off.
Am I forgetting something?
Oliver popped his head through the hallway and rolled his eyes at me, “Then why is your apron still on?” He reached out and removed it from me, “Why is it that I always have to pull you away from this kitchen every single day?” He said jokingly with a hint of concern. “You’ve been working too hard mate; you need to make some proper time to rest too.” Oliver hung my apron and sighed a long and heavy sigh. He turned around and looked at me straight, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I know how it is, Bobby. But I worry about you too. You look out for everyone else but you… someone has got to look after you too.”
There is no time.
“You’re right, Oli,” I flashed him a smile. “You’re absolutely right,” I pat his back and turned him around to start walking out the kitchen. “I think I’ve just been over-stressed with this new promotion on the line. We really need this mate, and everything needs to be perfect until the decision is made.”
“Oh, lad, you’re definitely going to get it. Don’t even stress, they’ll be mad not to. I can look at it now, Bobby McKenzie, Lead Baker, taking out the pastry world by a storm.” I cracked a smile and for a second, everything felt like it was going to be alright.
That is until we stopped in front of the elevator. My heart dropped. Oli cleared his throat and spoke so softly, it was almost hard to hear, “it’s the end of the month.” I didn’t need to hear that to know what happened next. I sighed heavily, pushed the button to call the elevator, and closed my eyes.
All too quickly we arrived at the administrative wing of the hospital. “Bobby, Oli! It’s always so nice to see you two.” I gave a weak smile to the receptionist as she greeted us warmly. “It’s uhm.... Quite a shame that it’s under these circumstances,” she continued.
There was an awkward pause. I opened my mouth, but my mind went blank. I was too tired. I was always tired. Oliver shrugged it off and offered her a genuine smile, “Don’t say that, Abi, we’re always so happy to see you.” Abigail blushed.
“So, what’s the damage?” He said cheerfully as if he was unbothered. Abigail shuffled awkwardly as she grabbed a large file from the cabinet beneath her. She opened up and out poured the bills, most of them being overdue. “You drive a hard bargain, Abi. We’ll settle for the usual then,” he locked his eyes on the desk and he reached out for his checkbook. I did the same.
-
“So, how is she?” Annie smiled sadly as she stored the milk, “How’s Nanna?”
Terrible.
“She’s doing better, isn’t she Bobs?” Oliver gave Annie a reassuring smile. “She’s a fighter. She wanted us to tell you that she loves you very much and is doing her best to get better for your graduation. So, she wants you to do your best to get to Uni.”
Annie jumped back into her seat with a hopeful smile, “Really? She’s doing better?”
There was a pause and that’s when I noticed that Annie was staring at me, looking for answers. I did my best to stay strong and give her a convincing nod. She visibly relaxed and continued her homework with a pep.
I hate lying, but most of all, I hate lying to Annie. But she was on her way to greatness, everyone could see that. And soon enough, she was going to get out of here. She was going to be somebody, and I’m going to help her get there no matter what that price tag would cost.
If only, that was the only cost.
I glanced at the letters by the cupboard and opened them up.
Great, more bills.
It wasn’t always like this. Things weren’t always this hard. Life wasn't this heavy. Things were never this dark. Dad always had a way with making things feel easier, and more lively, even when they weren't. When times were rough, he always had a way of pushing through with a positive outlook and it was contagious. He had a great sense of humor, one that I try to live life by. My dad was a good man, through and through, and there wasn't a day when I missed him. He believed that a smile can make all the difference, and that’s why he always wanted to crack on jokes. At a young age, it was always annoying. How can Dad be so lame? This cheesy? Mum didn’t actually think he was this funny, right? It wasn’t until he was gone that I realized that it was never about the jokes. Dad was creating moments, because that’s all that mattered. Those little moments in time that you carry with you, and miss, not knowing those were the best times of your life. Dad always wanted to make sure that we were happy even if that meant to his expense... I see that now. I just hated the fact it took me this long to appreciate it. So I try to honor him, the best way I know how- the way he taught me to live. To give and have a good laugh despite the ugly, because laughter was a reminder that everything was going to be okay.
Right until it wasn’t...
Dad died unexpectedly, when I was younger, and that came into a shock to everyone. After that, things started to progressively get worse. Mum couldn’t manage the life we had built, so she had to take up another job. We didn’t see much of her, and when we did, she was always so tired. Nanna picked up the slack around the house, until she couldn’t. Not long after my Dad’s passing, that Nanna fell ill. She’s been in and out of the hospital so much, sometimes, it’s hard to build up the courage to visit her.
Oliver is my cousin, but more importantly, he’s my best mate. He's lived with us since we were kids and always seemed to take care of us since then. He and Nanna moved in together and never went back, and honestly, we wouldn't have it any other way. We loved having them around. I mean sure, it was crowded, but we had each other and that's all that mattered. Having them around was more important than having to share rooms.
Oli noticed the struggle and stepped up for Annie and I. Although we never were in school together, (since he’s only a few years older than me), we were really close. And soon thereafter, he loaded a lot of responsibility to himself and became the supporting pillar to us all. He did that for us. He held us together. He let Mum know that he’d help and quickly managed to hitch a job at the hospital working breakfast rounds. He was so liked that we managed to find away to lower our outstanding balance to the hospital, to generously small, monthly payments. I’ve always wanted to pitch in, but Oli wouldn’t let me. He said I’d have to finish school before I worried about getting a job. Once I finished high school, I asked if he’d help me get a job and that how I settled as a caterer. He said I always had a nick for it, ever since Nanna thought me and figured I’d fit in well.
“It’ll be okay,” Oli said softly behind me, taking the letters from out of my hand and shoving it into his own pocket. “We have to believe that. It’s what he would’ve wanted, right?”
-
I couldn’t believe it. Un-fucking-believable. I had it. I had the promotion and I let it slipped right through me. How? How could I have fucked this up so bad? How could they do this to me? How could I let this happen? Of course, this happened. Of course, I fucked this up. Of course, they’d go with an outside hire. How could I believe that I was qualified?
“Mate, you need to calm down.” Oliver tried to settle me down.
“Calm down?” My words caught in my throat, “Calm down?”
I was disappointed. Angry. Frustrated. This was it; this was my one shot to make things right. This raise wouldn’t make miracles, but it would’ve at least been a start. I let them down. I couldn’t even look at Oli in the face. I was ashamed.
“We needed this, Oli. We needed this raise. You do everything you can. Mum does everything she can. Nan did everything she could. Dad did everything he could. Now I need to do everything I can and I failed. We’re behind on bills. Annie going to go to Uni soon. Nanna’s expenses are overdue and piling up. We needed this.” Hot tears threaten to trickle down my eyes and my voice cracked in between words.
Oliver shook his head and couldn’t hide his hurt look, “Bobby this isn’t on you. This isn’t your burden. Stop trying to fix everything. Just stop.”
There was a moment of silence and he sat next to me, “All you do is worry Bobby. This isn’t good for you. You’re always trying to fix things, even when you were too young to fix things. You’re always trying to figure things out for everyone, but yourself. You need to take a breather. I think you should take a moment for yourself. A holiday would be good for you, mate.”
“What? Oli, what the fuck are you saying? A holiday? Have you lost your goddamn mind? You really want me to spend more money we don’t have… on a holiday? For fuck sakes, mate.... I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but this isn’t about me. This is for them. You know that." I buried my face in my hands, embarrassed.
"I just thought-" he said softly.
"-If not me, then who? This can't all just weigh down on you and Mum, Oli. Where are we supposed to get this kind of money? How are we supposed to just whip out a fuck load of cash?" I turned to face him, When does it get better?” I looked at him for answers even though that wasn't fair. I didn’t mean to lash out on him, either, and he knew it; but I couldn’t help it. I was desperate. I was scared.
When does it get better?
“We’ll figure it out, mate.” He reaches to me and pulls me in for a firm hug, “We always do.”
-
“I got it!” Oliver ran into the bakery enthusiastically. “Bobby, I got it!” He ignored all the stares and snarls he received from everyone else in the kitchen.
“What’s got your mouth running, lad.” I started the mixer, “Spit it out already.”
Oliver stopped in front of me, and slammed his hand against the table exaggeratedly sending flour everywhere. He took deep breaths until finally, he looked at me with a mischievous grin and popped some chocolate chips into his mouth.
“Get on with it then. We don’t have all day,” I continued to roll the dough laid out in front of me, as I waited for the mixer to finish.
“I was doing my usual rounds around the hospital. Which by the way, your cupcakes were a massive hit. So anyways, during my route, I saw a crowd forming around the telly, and—”
“Oliver!”
“Right, on with it then,” he smirked as he shoved his phone into my face, displaying an application. “How would you feel spending your summer with a bunch of fit babes and winning 50 grand?”