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Jedi Don’t Eat Meat
“Jedi don’t use the Force for personal gain,” Luke said sanctimoniously, crossing his shining blue arms over his chest.
Rey paused with the bowl of dried meat hovering conveniently in the air so that she could use both her hands for tinkering with the insides of the Falcon.
“They also don’t eat meat,” Luke said pointedly.
Rey grabbed the bowl, but also took a big chunk of meat and shoved it in her mouth.
“I just saw you do that,” Luke said.
Rey swallowed and reached for another piece.
“I’m standing right here!”
“No you’re not. You’re floating there. And it’s stupid to waste food,” Rey said before shoving the piece of dried meat into her mouth and chewing obscenely.
Luke threw his hands into the air and stalked off into the ether.
Jedi Don’t Date
“Look I’m just telling you that I think dating is probably not a good idea for a Jedi,” Anakin said doubtfully.
“That’s pretty rich coming from you,” Rey said pointedly, trying to ignore the dead mass murderer sitting in the theoretically empty copilot’s seat. “Are you going to tell me not to go to the dark side and blow up a bunch of planets next?”
“I’m saying love is tricky, Rey. It’s like splitting your attention between the good of all things and your romantic interest, you know? One of those things is a lot more important. Galactically speaking.”
“So what exactly would you do differently, Darth Vader ?” Rey says flatly, pulling on a lever.
“Oh come on. That was just a phase,” Anakin said flippantly, but he had the grace to look ashamed. “I’m not saying that loving Padme was wrong for me, but it was… I think it was used against me. And I don’t want you to be in that position.”
“Used by my grandfather.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry, but it’s so gross that he’s your grandfather.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Technically, I’m also your grandfather,” Anakin said.
“Double gross.”
“Wow, you make me miss Ben. Who was about as sensitive to Force ghosts as a brick building. Do you know I used to haunt his breakfast sandwiches just because I knew he couldn’t see me?”
“I miss Ben, too,” Rey said sadly. “And also breakfast sandwiches.”
They sat in companionable silence until Anakin broke it by saying gently, “Padme was pretty great. Like really smart and political and stuff. Even when she was a kid. I don’t think I stood a chance against love when it came to her.”
Rey, against her will, finds heat rushing to her cheeks. “Finn’s pretty great, too.” And after a moment, “So is Poe.”
“Wait, what ?!”
Jedi Definitely Don’t Date Two People at Once
“I understand we were maybe a bit uptight about the whole romance thing. Goodness knows that the galaxy would be a bit more wonderful with more love in it. But Rey, dear, isn’t two loves a bit … greedy?” Obi-Wan asked desperately. He was standing half in and half out of a crate of goggles that Rey was delivering to Corellia.
“Look, I’m a little tired of talking about this,” Rey said, already sweaty even though she’d only delivered three crates. Corellia was hot and smelly and miserable and had way too much gravity. “Vader is already around half the time bothering me with stupid questions about my love life and reminding me that he’s my grandfather even though he looks like he’s twenty.” She shoved two more crates onto maglifts and pushed them towards the door.
“Anakin is just being cautious, as am I. We don’t want to see you fail, Rey.”
“Yeah, yeah, ‘cause I’m the hope of the galaxy or whatever.” Rey put her shoulder into pushing and shoved the crate off the back of the ship. “Yoda is a lot more sympathetic and understanding than you two put together.”
Obi-Wan got that slightly scandalized look that he always did when Rey referred to him as Yoda instead of Master Yoda.
“ He says that life is better when it’s shared. And that the way for some Jedi isn’t the way for every Jedi.” She grunted and slid the crates onto the waiting docks. “And anyway, can’t you help me with this? I know you have some kind of creepy power from beyond the grave.” The Trandoshan dock worker gave her some strong side eye.
“It’s called the Force ,” Obi-Wan said, deeply aggrieved. “And Jedi don’t use their powers-”
“--for personal gain, yeah, except this isn’t personal gain. This is you helping me.” Rey said pointedly.
She grinned when the last five crates went gently floating over the consternated head of the Trandoshan before Obi-Wan disappeared in a huff.
Jedi Don’t Have Families
“Yeah, well that’s bullshit,” Leia said.
“I know, right? Like I have to be some kind of monk.”
“Well Jedi are technically monks.”
“I’d like to be able to choose my own level of monk-itude,” Rey said firmly as she finished welding in the last bit of paneling to the underside of the Falcon. The nice thing about having a conversation with a Force ghost is that it’s really easy to hear them, no matter what actual noise was happening around her.
“Good for you,” Leia said. “Better to have shoulders to share the weight of the world on.” She was casually tossing a screw up and down with her mind. “Plus I think you’ll be a good influence on both of them. Poe looked pretty happy the last time I stopped in to see him and Finn has always lit up when you were around.”
“They haven’t asked me to marry them yet,” Rey said. “But they will. And I’m going to say yes.”
“Why don’t you ask them first?”
Rey paused and turned off the welder. “You think I should?” she asked, scooting out from under the Falcon.
“Why not?”
“Jedi don’t have families.”
“Some of them did. And some of them probably should have.” Leia offered her a motherly smile. “And you and those boys deserve each other.”
“I really love them,” Rey confessed.
“They love you, too.” Leia said.
“I know.”
Jedi Don’t Have Kids
“I’m honestly not sure what to do with it,” Rey said awkwardly, holding the child close to her as it babbled gently and tried to pull on a wisp of her hair.
“Me, either,” Ahsoka said. “I never worked closely with younglings this young. Jedi don’t have kids, you know?”
“You’re not a Jedi any more, right?” Rey said. “Doesn’t that mean you can keep caring for it?”
Ahsoka’s face showed horror for a brief moment before she quickly re-arranged her features into something more stately. “No, no, I really can’t. It’s not my destiny. It’s probably yours.” She looked very pleased with this explanation even as she backed away slowly.
“But I don’t even know what its name is!” Rey said and looked down at the little alien, who stared at her with impressively large brown eyes. It was very cute.
“Just make one up?” Ahsoka offered. “It looks like Master Yoda, right? Just call it Yoda 2 or something.”
“But what does it eat?”
“....bugs I guess? It mostly ate bugs while it was with me?” Ahsoka said, looking like she was going to start sweating soon.
“Where does it come from? How old is it? Does it wear a diaper?”
“Look, I have to get back to my ship. I left… uh, the kettle on,” Ahsoka said, still backing away.
“Hey!” Rey shouted as the ex-Jedi suddenly turned around and sprinted back to her ship. “Don’t leave me with this!” As the ship took off, she shouted, “I bet you don’t even have a kettle!”
It was in vain, of course, and finally, she had to give up and look into the little green alien’s very big eyes. “What am I going to tell my husbands about you, huh?”
The child laughed, wrinkling its little nose, and Rey was absolutely captivated with it. It must be a survival mechanism in its species. “I’m not calling you Yoda 2,” she said, and squeezed one of its itty bitty hands.
Jedi Don’t Lose Hope
Rey laid with her hand over Finn’s stomach and her face pressed against his leg. Poe was asleep in a chair on Finn’s other side, the child cradled and sleeping against his chest. Despite Force healing and plenty of bacta infusions, Finn’s fever was still so strong that he had slipped into a coma.
“We love you,” Rey said softly, her hand splayed out over Finn’s stomach. “Don’t die on us.” And then, as tears sprang to her eyes, “Please, please, please don’t die.”
“Die, I think he will not.”
Rey had to wipe her eyes before looking up, and she was glad she did, because Yoda was sitting on the bed looking at her with the kind of expression that made her tear up again.
“Okay to cry, it is,” Yoda said gently. “Love him, you do.”
Rey bent her head again and felt the tingly touch of Yoda’s ghostly hand on the back of her head. She let out the tears, and they wet the medbay blanket covering Finn. After a while, she lifted her head and sniffed. “What are you doing here?”
“Here for you, I am.” Yoda smiled at her. “Hope, you need, young Skywalker.”
“What I need is for Finn to get better.”
“Yes. Hope for Finn. That’s what you need.”
“It’s been four days--”
“Not too long now, Rey,” Yoda said comfortingly. “Not ready to leave yet is he.”
And hope did spark in her then. Just a small thing. A seed.
“Hope you must always have,” Yoda said sagely, “Binds you to the light side it does. If hope you lose, then much harder to come to the light it is. Hope a Jedi must always have.”
Rey nodded and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Thank you.”
Yoda smiled at her and started to vanish before she said, “Wait!”
“Hmmm?” he hummed.
“The child. Do you know anything about it? Where it came from? What your species is and what it likes to eat?” Other than bugs and frogs and lizards and basically anything on the ground that it could reach or knock off a higher shelf with the Force. It had eaten soap once and hiccuped bubbles for days.
“Oh yes!” Yoda said with a chuckle. “One of my clones he is. You can call him Yoda 3.” And with that he vanished.
“Motherfucker,” Rey swore. “I knew its name wasn’t Yoda 2!”
When Finn woke a day later, her relief was like a rain that watered her hope, and that hope grew like a tree.
So she wasn’t a traditional Jedi. So what? She was an okay Jedi. And that was fine, she thought, as she kissed her husbands and fended off her grandfather’s overly curious ghost and cuddled Yoda 3 to her. She’d done her saving of the galaxy, and now she was going to eat some meat and settle in with her family, and maybe give any passing potential Jedi a bit of hope, too.