Chapter Text
Agent Aban Stone has worked for Doctor Ivo Robotnik for the past six years. He has successfully become the first and only agent to ever stay with the doctor longer than 36 hours, and has done so by following his own simple rules.
Rule number one: Never mess up the doctor’s latte. Each latte must be delivered on time and made perfectly. Robotnik receives a latte every 2 hours starting at 6 in the morning. Throughout the day, Stone decreases the amount of caffeinated coffee grounds he uses so that by night time the latte is 100% decaf and not keeping the doctor awake too long. There needs to be exactly ¼ inch of foam on top so the doctor gets just the right amount on his mustache. Too much foam will become a nuisance. Also, for good measure, latte art is crucial to the process.
“Adequate, Stone.” Robotnik always says, if he says anything at all. He’ll barely glance at the agent after receiving the delicately prepared drink. But, no matter what, Stone knows that Robotnik appreciates every single drink no matter what.
Rule number two: Never question, but always compliment. The doctor hates questions, judgement, or anybody ever doubting his brilliance. However, that doesn't mean you should be completely silent. A compliment can go a long way, especially with Robotnik and his ego. A quiet look of awe or subtle comment on the true brilliance of one of the doctor’s plans don’t go unnoticed.
“-and that! That moment is when I will deploy the badniks on that slimy little nuisance!” Robotnik finished, slamming his hands on the desk in front of him. Stone stood by, hands behind his back.
Stone commented, “You’re brilliant, Doctor. They’ll never see it coming.” Robotnik’s grin gets a tiny bit bigger, and his eyes are filled with a passionate wonder after the remark. He goes to the next slide on his hologram before continuing to ramble about the upcoming attack.
Rule number three: Always come into work. Bad weather? Come in. Sick? Come in. Protests in the street? Come in. Global pandemic? Come in. Aban Stone has only ever missed one day of work in his entire life, and he slaved away for Robotnik for the next two weeks after to make up for it.
Stone fumbled around for his phone. He coughed up a bit of blood, trying to ignore the sharp pains in his neck and torso and legs. Stone pressed the first and one of the only numbers in his contacts.
“Stone, where are you?!” Robotnik huffed, “You’re thirty seconds late!”
The agent looked around his currently flipped over car. He cleared his throat and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Doctor, I just flipped my car because a semi wasn’t watching the road. I might be a few hours late… I think I broke a bone.”
Yes, Aban Stone was the perfect worker for somebody ignoring labor laws. He would come in no matter what, wait hand and feet on the doctor without so much as a thank you, and truly didn’t mind anything about the experience! So, of course, today was not going to be easy for Stone. At all.
May 29th.
Stone came into work at 5:30 sharp and began preparing a small breakfast for the Doctor. It has to be small enough and easy enough for Robotnik to eat without trying too much. Something he can nibble on while pausing between drafting blueprints or tinkering with badniks. He prepared his favorite, wheat toast with avocado, pepper, salt, and a bit of lime juice.
Then, he began preparing Robotnik’s latte. Steamed Austrian goat milk, fully caffeinated Italian coffee beans, ¼ inch of foam, and a heart drawn into the top. He carefully sealed the latte with a plastic lid and headed for the laboratory.
At 6 o’clock sharp, Stone entered the lab and waited for Robotnik to acknowledge him. Robotnik was in his usual place at the desk, going through emails and missed calls from officials and informants and everybody in between. He waved his hand a little. Stone walked up beside the doctor, set the plate and latte down, and waited.
Robotnik leaned back in his chair, wordlessly taking the latte and drinking from it. He nodded. “Adequate.” He muttered before taking another sip. Stone smiled.
“Doctor, I-“
“Stone!” Robotnik sighed, “Do you want to know the most annoying part about working for a capitalistic bureaucracy run on lies and supremacy?”
Stone thought about it. “You have trouble sleeping at night?” He guessed.
“Nope! Wrong! As always!” Robotnik got up and strutted to his work bench. “The most annoying part is you have to admit you work for them! There is nothing worse than emailing an informant in another country and having to say-“ He used a mocking tone. “-Yes, sir, I do in fact serve Mr. Trump yes, sir, I also just went golfing the other day with my Iowa State buddies and then we abused our wives right afterwards before going to an overpriced sports bar!”
Stone smiled as Robotnik gestures wildly as he mocked the people they worked for. He loved when Robotnik mocked people. Unless it was Stone that was being mocked.
“I swear, every other country is more dignified than us.” Robotnik muttered, going back to the computer and sitting in his chair. He slouched as far as he could and glared at the screen. “Stone, take care of these emails today.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“And call these people back. Unless it’s General Walters, I’m avoiding him.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“And clean the badniks off. The ones in storage room 3B-2.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“And clean my private room.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“And say yes doctor for the fifth time.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
Robotnik snickered to himself before snapping, “Get to work.”
Stone took a deep breath and asked, “Doctor, can I ask a question?” Breaking rule two, a risky move. Robotnik sneered before nodding as he started working on something else. Stone explained, “Well, Doctor, I was wondering if it would be alright for me to take the day off this Sunday, June 1st?” Breaking rule three, even riskier.
Robotnik stopped typing. Stone closed his eyes.
“Pin yourself to the wall.”
Holding back a sigh of defeat, Stone put a hand on his own chest and slammed himself against the laboratory wall. (Extra harsh so Robotnik knew that he was sorry for asking). Robotnik got centimeters from Stone’s face. He snapped, “You barely do any work for me, do you understand that? I know it’s a hard concept for your first grade reading level brain to get but those are the facts. All you do is babysit me and do the maid work and you think that requires a day off? From what? Getting to hang out in a cool underground and air conditioned base from 9 to5?! Oh, you poor soul! Poor Agent Stone!” Robotnik pulled away and snapped, “I seriously don’t think you deserve a day off. In fact, I may just have you work even harder on Sunday! Just because!”
Stone nodded and said, “You’re right, Doctor, I understand. I won’t suggest it again.”
“What on this great green Earth did you even want to do Sunday? Huh?” Robotnik huffed, “Does wittwe Agent Stone need a mentaw heawth bweak? Need to take a wittwe nap and cuwl up with a bwanket and bottwe?” He pouted at Agent Stone, turning his feet inward and touching his fingers together like a child.
Stone waited a moment before replying, “June 1st, as you know, is the first day of international pride month. In town there’s going to be a large parade and live music. I was hoping I could participate.”
The last thing Stone wanted to do was tell his government boss that he was even slightly associated with the LGBT community. The US government was already so in love with transgender people, and Stone knew that being a good agent wasn’t going to make them think any better of him. When he first started working for Robotnik, he was just happy to have a government boss that didn’t know he was gay, let alone trans! General Walters was… very open about his hatred of Stone’s “confused” “choices” for “her” body.
Stone snapped out of his thoughts and realized that Robotnik had been silently staring at him for almost two minutes now. He also realized that he was still pinning himself to the wall. Robotnik took a deep breath and said, “Stone, I’m struggling for a way to say this simply so you won’t misinterpret it.”
Here we go , Stone’s mind raced, Stone, I disagree with everything about you and I wish you were dead, in fact, I’m going to have a badnik murder you right now so I don’t have to think about you again! This is it. I’m done. Game over.
“I don’t understand the community.” Robotnik finally said, “I don’t… God, the whole concept is-“
“Doctor, I-I understand you-“
“ Don’t interrupt me!” Robotnik shouted, “Ever!” Stone shut his mouth. Robotnik continued, “I dislike LGBT people the same way I dislike every other human being on this Earth. Going out and about and parading a label is so… so meaningless! So absolutely bizarre to me- but so is every other human emotion!”
Is this homophobia? Stone was sure he was going to get a headache from overthinking this.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, I know that, but that isn’t going to stop me from being so utterly confused by it. And I don’t like being confused.” Robotnik scowled, angrily typing at his keyboard. “We get it, you have pride about it, but why would you waste 24 hours going into public under the boiling hot sun just to get a sunburn and waste money on merchandising for it. God!”
A minute of silence passed by. Robotnik muttered, “I’m not against it. Really. I know I’m coming off like that, I’m trying not to, I just don’t understand. It’s weird.”
Stone suddenly got a bad idea in his head. He blurted out, “Would you like to learn?” I will regret this , Stone realized, but it was too late to go back. He already said it.
Robotnik didn’t reply at first. He finally nodded and said, “I wouldn’t mind learning what’s so great about it… Why, Stone? You have thirty seconds to explain yourself.” He started a timer on his watch.
“Okay, so,” Stone began rambling, “Sunday is hybrid big pride parade event. If you really would like to learn what the big deal is and why it’s so important then maybe some field research would be the best way to learn! You could come with me to the parade and I’ll teach you a bit about pride and why it’s important and why I should be allowed to take a vacation day on Sunday to go to said pride event! Then you’ll learn about Pride, I’ll get to go, and it’s a win win situation. Also-“
“Times up.” Robotnik said. Stone immediately shut his mouth and waited. No further conversation.
The doctor went back to typing on his computer, ignoring Stone’s confused expression. Stone was nervous about what Robotnik was thinking about. He tried not to fidget nervously or bounce on his toes, which he did often. Finally, after two minutes, Robotnik asked, “What time is it, Sunday?”
“It starts at 11 am.” Stone said.
“Alright.” Robotnik nodded and declared, “Sunday we will take a field trip to this pride event. We’ll meet here at 5:30, get some work down, and then head out to the party. This will not count as a vacation day, it will count as a field research mission. Understood?”
“Yes, Doctor.” Stone nodded with a big grin on his face, “Thank you, Doctor.”
“Don’t get all cheery on me!” Robotnik snapped, “Get to work on your chores for the day, maid.” Stone nodded and left the laboratory. Once the door was shut he had a silent victory dance and punched the air in triumph!
“STONE! GET TO WORK! STOP DANCING OUTSIDE MY DOOR!” Robotnik hollered over the intercom. Stone scrambled to get to work on his chores for the day, his face red with embarrassment.
Robotnik didn’t like any labels that weren’t necessary. For example, Doctor was a label. Being recognized as a Doctor was actually important though, so he didn’t mind that label at all. But labels about who you canoodled with was… unimportant to Robotnik.
As Robotnik tinkered away at some new drone tech, he let his mind wander about the idea. Of course he had researched labels before, a long, long time ago. High school. Early College. Homosexuality. Asexuality. Homoromantic. Demisexuality. Demiromantic. Aromantic. Robotnik was a sucker for education, and that included LGBT education. He knew every term, every tidbit of information, every flag.
I just don’t know… me. Robotnik sneered at the thought, digging his tool into the plastic and wires on the desk. He didn’t want to go by anything. The more people know about you, the bigger the target is on your back. Then again, the more people know about you, the less they can find out . After all, this line of thinking is what makes Robotnik tell people about being bullied and being an orphan.
Robotnik wasn’t stupid. He was already an eccentric “spazz” cursed with superior intellect and a lack of social skills, adding LGBT on top of that would not help him. So, after realizing every term he may have identified with was targeted or bullied in some way or another, he just… shut himself off from that side of himself.
Totally healthy.
“Why would I care?” Robotnik muttered, “Just a dumb… parade. Dumb. Stupid. Useless waste of money and time.”
I don’t want to know anything about myself anyway. I know every piece of important information right now. Blood type, heritage, weight, height, allergies, social security number, date of birth. All I need.
Robotnik glanced at the computer, eyes lingering on the pride parade information pulled up in the separate tab. He sighed, “All I need.”