Work Text:
When Olruggio had first come to the Great Hall, it had felt overwhelming with its winding corridors and seemingly endless sets of stairs that most witches didn’t even bother to walk up on account of their sylph shoes.
Olruggio’s shoes had those exact seals, but he wasn’t sure he would be able to put them to any use on account of his legs feeling like lead. He stared up the winding stairs from where he was hunched over. It had been such a long day; his master had had him working from morning till night until he’d perfected every newly introduced seal. Then he’d had to put them to use and that had taken an extraordinarily long amount of time since it they had to help a neighboring village.
He hadn’t seen Qifrey all day.
Resigned, he forced himself to take it a step at a time. By the time he finished climbing the last step, he feared he might collapse, but he forced himself down the corridor to his ultimate destination: his bed. He slipped under the covers with a loud sigh of relief. Sometimes he wondered why he ever left the cozy confines of his blankets, but he knew what the answer was: magic. It was always magic. Much as his master drove him to his breaking limit, he knew that was part of why he was considered a magical “genius.” He didn’t care about the title, but he did care about the benefits of excelling in such a way, namely helping others, no matter how exhausting it was.
He dozed for a while, his mind still active despite the weariness of his body, so he had no idea how much time had passed before a quiet “Olly?” broke the stillness surrounding him.
As foggy-headed as he was, this was familiar; he moved a little to the side of the bed to make room. Qifrey often came to his room after a nightmare and while he didn’t relish the thought of Qifrey suffering in the night, he didn’t mind the company; he’d become used to it.
What he wasn’t used to was a pair of hands gripping him about the shoulders and gently shaking him. “Olly,” Qifrey insisted in a hushed tone. “Get up.”
That simply wasn’t about to happen, but Qifrey shook him again, a little more forcefully this time, and he groaned, “What is it?” He buried his head further into his pillow, as if that would do anything to dissuade Qifrey once he’d set his mind on something. “I made room; just get under the covers.”
Qifrey’s grip loosened and for one blessed moment the thought Qifrey would do exactly that and he could return to his rest, but then Qifrey was pulling the covers off of him and that was entirely uncalled for.
“What?” he demanded, finally cracking an eye open as the cold night air replaced the comfortable bubble of heat he’d been enjoying moments prior.
His irritation fled in the wake of Qifrey’s expression: frightened and furious, it chilled him to the bone. Blast it all, he wasn’t going to get any sleep and now he was worried as well.
He sat up hastily, ignoring how lethargic he felt, and gripped his shoulders. “What’s wrong?” he asked, earnestly this time. “Was it a particularly bad nightmare?”
Qifrey glanced down at his hands before finally giving a reluctant nod. Okay, so it was something he was a little familiar with at least.
“It’s going to be okay,” Olruggio said firmly. “Nothing can get you here, okay? I’ll protect you.”
He was given a wan smile at that before Qifrey gently gripped his wrists and removed his grasp. “I was hoping you’d help me with something.”
“Okay,” Olruggio replied carefully. “You mean something other than sleeping, don’t you?”
“You’re always so tired,” Qifrey teased halfheartedly. “You’re still young, you know.”
“It’s a condition,” Olruggio huffed. “Also, it’s the dead of night. It’s normal to be sleeping at this hour, at least.”
“I know, but… I want to go outside,” Qifrey said firmly. “Will you come with?”
Two differing desires warred within Olruggio in that moment for he both wanted to help Qifrey like he always did, but he also knew his behavior could only be described as strange. There was no way Qifrey came all the way to his room in the dead of night to take a walk.
“I will,” Olruggio decided, “but I want to know why we’re going out at this hour.”
Qifrey frowned at that and looked as if he might protest, but instead he bit his lip and said, “Okay...”
He took a seat on the edge of Olruggio’s bed and curled up on himself the way he did whenever something was really bothering him and was about to confide in Olruggio when he might not otherwise.
“There’s something that I want to retrieve,” he began with difficulty. He struggled a moment before resting his hand atop the right side of his face right where his bangs hung low. “You know that I… that my…”
Olruggio nodded slowly. He was passingly aware of how Qifrey had come to be Beldaruit’s student; knew he’d been an outsider found in the Silstaz Woods, though no one had given him further detail outside of that. He had suspected there was something wrong with his eye, but he’d never known what exactly and had never felt like it would be all right to ask.
“It’s missing,” Qifrey managed with some difficulty. “It was stolen.”
Stolen? “That’s why you cover it with your bangs,” Olruggio confirmed, trying to piece together how his eye related to this midnight stroll.
Qifrey gave him a nod before tentatively pulling his hair back slightly. “Only because it’s you,” he murmured. The level of trust it demonstrated shook him to his core, leaving him practically lightheaded.
It was incredibly strange to see all of Qifrey’s face like this, uncovered and bare, a physical manifestation of pain he’d never been privy to before. His eyelid was closed and there was a thick scar about it, jagged and cruel.
Olruggio nearly winced at how deep it went; this must have been an excruciating injury to be on the receiving end of.
“Does it still hurt?” Olruggio asked, his voice trembling slightly. He’d always thought Qifrey was simply blind in that eye or maybe it was lazy; he hadn’t thought the whole thing would be missing. Had Qifrey ever gotten a glass one to replace it? But no, the way the eyelid drooped slightly suggested that wasn’t the case.
“Sometimes I get headaches, that’s all.” Qifrey dropped his hand so his bangs were once more firmly in place, shielding the evidence of the injury from the world.
“I’m sorry,” Olruggio said sincerely, worriedly. “But what does this have to do with tonight?”
Qifrey leaned in, his singular eye practically glowing with the intensity of his feelings and for the first time since he’d met him, he felt almost frightened. “A witch stole it,” he breathed. “One of the brimmed caps, and that’s not all. They took my memories along with it.” He gripped Olruggio’s hand tightly in a way he knew must be unconscious.
“Why…?”
“I don’t know. That’s the whole problem,” he practically snarled. “And I can’t let it rest. I will find them; I have to, and I want you to come with me.”
Olruggio had been too tired to close the window when he went to bed, and what had once been a comforting, calm night air now chilled him to his bones. Qifrey was going to get himself into trouble, the kind he had no hope of fixing. He’d always wondered about Qifrey’s past, but he’d never seriously considered that his occasional dark moods, his periods of isolation, could stem from a trauma he could never hope to understand. He couldn’t help him.
But he knew he was going to go with. He privately cursed himself for it, knew the whole affair was foolhardy and wouldn’t help anything at all, but he couldn’t refuse him this. This was his one and only friend; he’d promised himself he’d take care of him and right now all he could do was indulge his desires as damning as it would be in the long run.
“Okay,” he murmured. “I’ll come with you.”
For a moment there was no sound save for the gentle stirring of the curtains, but then Qifrey’s face lit up and arms were wrapped tightly about his neck. “I knew I could count on you,” he whispered. “You’ve always been there for me.”
He could do nothing but nod in silence and consider that he hadn’t even known Qifrey when he needed him most. All he could now was make up for lost time.
“Let me get dressed,” he said as he pushed him away. He couldn’t bear to be on the receiving end of Qifrey’s affection right now, not when he knew he was playing into something dark he didn’t yet understand.
“It looks like you never even got into your nightgown,” Qifrey laughed. “It shouldn’t take you long.”
“No,” Olruggio admitted dismally. “I suppose it won’t.”
They stepped outside with thick cloaks donned, which made Olruggio feel like he was about to rob someone and thereby all the more guilty for not putting an end to this when he had his chance.
He knew he was flattering himself by thinking he could have done anything to prevent Qifrey’s search, but he could have at least offered up a token protest, could have reminded him how it was forbidden, dangerous, all manner of no good, and it wouldn’t have done a thing except annoy and possibly infuriate the boy at his side.
“You look like you just ate a lemon,” Qifrey said quietly as they walked down the empty streets.
“What are we going to do if we find a brimmed cap?” Olruggio demanded.
“Take back what’s mind,” Qifrey said blankly as if it were obvious. “What else?”
“Right, we’ll just engage in a magical duel with those who have never played fair,” Olruggio grumbled. “Sounds great.”
“We’ll be out of the city soon,” Qifrey continued, ignoring him. “It shouldn’t be long now.”
Going outside the city naturally meant going above seawater. For the most part, Olruggio had never been all that affected by the knowledge it was only magic that held a watery death at bay. Qifrey had never felt that way and he suspected the city itself played a significant role in his nightmares. Qifrey hated water and he hated the Great Hall.
The moment they stepped out to be greeted by the endless void of space above them and an expansive field Qifrey let out a sigh of relief.
“There’s nothing like this, Olly,” he confided. “This is what freedom is.”
Olruggio just felt uncomfortable and tired, so he wasn’t sure he much liked freedom’s sensation if that were the case.
They spent the next three hours searching high and low for clues until Olruggio finally grabbed him by the arm and huffed, “Qifrey, I’m tired and we haven’t found a thing. I want to go to bed.” I want to be back in the Great Hall before anyone notices we’re gone.
His pale features were shrouded in nighttime’s veil, but Olruggio didn’t miss the cold glare aimed right at him, and yeah, that hurt a bit, but he’d had enough. “Please,” he added as if that might help.
Turned out it did because Qifrey’s eyes softened a bit as he took him in. “You do look worn,” he murmured. “I suppose… for now.”
Worn was one way of putting it; Olruggio felt as if he might drop at any moment he was so tired. He knew he must have bags under his eyes and he was definitely shaking from that odd, hyper-alert, dead-on-your feet sensation one always got when they’d stayed up too long.
They trudged home with Qifrey sneaking looks behind them all the way. He followed Olruggio reluctantly back in, down into the depths of the ocean. Olruggio was frankly surprised he hadn’t told him to return by himself, but perhaps even he knew looking for the brimmed caps without any support was foolhardy at best.
But what he really hoped was that Qifrey valued him enough to make sure he got home safely.
Maneuvering the Great Hall upon returning was actually trickier; the guard was more active now, but they managed it as far as Olruggio could tell. When they reached his bedroom he glanced at Qifrey questioningly.
He was relieved when Qifrey entered the room without any further prompting, doubly so when they both got under the covers without any further discord. Qifrey was stiff as a board at his side, though, and he knew that whatever this was, it wasn’t past. A bit of rest and a night walk would hardly be enough to rectify a stolen eye or missing memories as stark as snow on a mountain peak or troubled nights spurred on by nightmares, and so it was that Olruggio found himself being dragged outside time and time again for the next several years.
It reached a point where he didn’t even bother getting into bed come evening; he waited for a few hours until he knew whether Qifrey would be there or not.
Sometimes Qifrey would break the mold and he would just visit rather than drag him outdoors. He wouldn’t share a bed with Olruggio anymore; they were older now and at some point one of them had realized it was strange. At least, Olruggio figured that must have been what happened and that it must have been Qifrey because he’d never made a move to change anything.
And so, he found himself sitting at his desk, three years later, laboring away over sigils and signs, wondering if Qifrey would soon be whisking him away once more.
He didn’t have to wait much longer. The knock was still tentative, as if he thought he would turn him away after all this time, followed by Olruggio’s calm “Come in.”
“You’re already dressed,” Qifrey stated unnecessarily.
Olruggio gave a heavy sigh and gave a weary nod. Of course he was; this had been his new norm for years now. Qifrey’s eye slid to the ground and for once he appeared almost … guilty. Immediately, Olruggio’s impatience transformed into concern.
“What is it?”
“Beldaruit said something to me today,” Qifrey admitted. He had yet to move away from the entrance. “It gave me pause.”
Qifrey had a lot of ongoing issues with his master, he knew. So much so that Qifrey couldn’t be bothered to call him “master,” and Olruggio had mixed feelings on that. He’d often said that Beldaruit didn’t understand him, tried to mold him into something he wasn’t, wasn’t as kind as he thought he was, etc.
He treats me like a charity case, he’d bemoaned to him once, in a hushed voice as if the words might invoke it into truth.
“What did he say?” Olruggio asked uneasily.
“He was walking about town and children were coming up to him. You know how he is.” Indeed, Olruggio knew exactly how gregarious the man was. “One of them gave him a gift and do you know what he said?” At this, Qifrey’s lips quirked into a bitter grin. “He said, ‘Ah, what a wonderful gift. You know, Qifrey, to be given something so precious without even having to ask… The correct thing to do is treat it well, don’t you think?’”
Qifrey’s impression of Beldaruit’s lilting tone was incredibly accurate.
“What, did you forget to say thank you for a gift?” Olruggio laughed. It was such an over-the-top way to criticize someone, to feign subtlety and to do so out in the open; it was very typical of Beldaruit. His methods were often of a nature Olruggio questioned, but he was one of the greatest living witches even if he was … eccentric.
“He didn’t mean a physical gift,” Qifrey said. He finally stepped in and sat across from in. “He meant you.”
There was a sudden light thud on the table and Olruggio realized his hand had gone slack, dropping the quill he’d been holding. “Eh?”
“I hate it when he interferes like that,” Qifrey continued in casual frustration. “The way he treats me like a wayward child that could never hope to understand the way things are and--“
Qifrey drew a deep breath. “But, like I said, it got me thinking.”
Olruggio couldn’t find it in himself to say anything. The complaints about Beldaruit were familiar enough, but the message wasn’t one that was making any more sense to him than when Qifrey started.
He looked away guiltily. “I thought, ‘If I treated a student like this, I would be a bad person,’ and then I thought, ‘Maybe treating a friend like that isn’t any better.’” He refused to meet Olruggio’s eyes. “Do… do you think the same?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Olruggio admitted, aghast. “What do I have to do with any of this? What do you mean ‘how you’ve treated me?’”
At that, Qifrey met his eyes, confusion apparent. “I mean this. You’re always so tired!”
“Yeah,” Olruggio said in confusion. “I’ve always been more tired than everyone else. What’s that got to do with it?”
“I mean more tired than you would be otherwise,” Qifrey explained in frustration. “I’m talking about how you always wait for me, the fact that you’re always there.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Now he was beginning to get irritated. If Qifrey had some problem with their arrangement, he wished he’d just come out and say what it was already.
“Nothing’s wrong, I just mean… I mean that Beldaruit is right.”
He said it as if it were the most heinous thing he’d ever admitted to, but all Olruggio could focus on was that it still explained absolutely nothing.
“Okay…”
“I’ve wanted to ask several times now,” Qifrey continued quietly. “But I was too afraid.” A long silence. “Why do you do it?”
Olruggio almost exclaimed “Are you serious?” but he restrained himself just in time. Now that it was laid out a bit better, he think he understood what the problem was and he let out a quiet sigh. Maybe this was Beldaruit’s ultimate failing as a teacher; he could never ease Qifrey’s mind. He always left him wondering if he was an acceptable human being, if he was a good witch. And Olruggio always had to clean up afterwards. How was it that every time Qifrey listened to a single thing Beldaruit said he always came away with the exact wrong message?
“I go with you because you’re my closest friend,” he stated simply. “I choose to because I care about you.”
Rather than easing his mind, Qifrey’s mien appeared more distressed than ever. “But isn’t that too much?” he demanded. “Why haven’t you told me it’s pointless? That chasing the brimmed caps will only lead to more despair?”
Because Master Beldaruit has already told you that and it didn’t make things any better, he thought dismally. In truth, his opinion wasn’t any different than Beldaruit’s; he just prioritized Qifrey’s happiness a little bit more over the truth.
“You already know chasing the brimmed caps is a bad idea and you already know I think so,” Olruggio said eventually. “None of that changes the fact I won’t let you go alone.”
“And I have nothing to show for it save for the bags under your eyes,” Qifrey murmured, distraught.
“Hey!”
“I don’t mean that as an insult,” Qifrey amended. “I simply mean that your health is on the decline because of me.”
“I think you give yourself too much credit.”
“I think you spend too much time trying to protect me.”
They glared at one another, at an impasse, before Qifrey gripped the ends of his cloak and said, “If I treated a student like this, I would be a bad person, wouldn’t I?”
“Don’t change the subje-“
“Treating a friend this way isn’t any better,” he interrupted. Olruggio snapped his mouth shut. “I’m sorry.”
Why did that sound like goodbye? Visions of Qifrey leaving the Great Hall, this time for good, flooded his mind’s eye, and in a panic he reached out and gripped his wrist. “No!” He flushed at how close Qifrey’s face was, at the shocked expression there. “I mean, don’t go.”
“I won’t,” Qifrey replied faintly, staring down at their hands uncertainly. “Actually… I wanted to tell you what decision I reached.”
“Okay…” He let go of him.
“I’ve decided I’ll stop doing this.”
“You’re going to stop looking for the brimmed caps?” he asked hopefully.
“No,” Qifrey practically snarled before visibly calming himself. “Never. But… this isn’t the right way of going about it and… I shouldn’t… You need your sleep.” He paused awkwardly. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m going to stop sneaking out at night. You won’t have to worry about it.”
His words left him with the strangest feeling in his chest. It was some mix of happiness, worry, and that familiar warmth only Qifrey had ever had any success in sparking.
“But you’re not… just going to leave me behind, right?” Olruggio asked suspiciously, having to know for sure.
“No, I won’t do that either,” Qifrey sighed. “Tonight you looked so… It needs to stop.” For now went unsaid, but Olruggio had the unsettling premonition that whatever this respite was, it was temporary. Qifrey hadn’t given up on his goal, he was just putting it on pause because… Master Beldaruit had guilted him into it?
You need your sleep.
Surely it wasn’t just because he was worried about him?
“There was one other thing,” Qifrey mumbled. “You don’t have to answer right away.”
Olruggio forced himself to wait patiently.
“Will you… If I become a teacher, will you be my Watchful Eye?”
Some part of him had always dreamed that maybe, just maybe, Qifrey would ask him that one day because he knew Qifrey would leave the Great Hall one way or another. He’d never quite been able to delude himself that he would stay. But he’d wanted this, so much so that he surreptitiously pinched himself to make sure he hadn’t nodded off. It was real.
“Yes,” he practically gasped. “Yes, I will, but why…?”
“Because… you’re my closest friend,” he said with a sad smile. “It’s only fitting.”
He felt like he needed to offer something, to say anything about all that had just passed between them, but he found himself at a loss. Words were so troublesome; he’d only had the right ones on occasion.
What he did know was that Qifrey wasn’t as accepting of his decision as he acted. His hands trembled slightly and his eyes were wide and unseeing; even if it was only temporary, this was a sacrifice for him.
He reached out and hesitantly wrapped his arms about him. “It will be all right,” he said awkwardly. “Everything is still there, waiting.”
Qifrey didn’t say anything at all, but he gave a stiff nod before gently pushing him away. “I’ll be all right, Olly. For now, I’m going to return to my room.”
“Oh,” he said, trying hard not to show his disappointment. Much as he’d wished Qifrey would cease in his chase of the brimmed caps, he had liked spending time with him. Their studies kept them apart more than he’d liked of late and he had hoped that maybe Qifrey would choose to stay in contrast to his notable absences.
The door clicked behind him quietly and Olruggio was left all on his own with nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company. He’d just been given what he’d always wanted, but now he just felt cold. He turned back toward the book on his desk and knew that he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, even if Qifrey wasn’t dragging him all over plain and mountain.
He picked his quill back up and went back to the various alterations he’d been testing out with the sigil of fire. Perhaps, with time, he’d be able to create a new seal that would ease even Qifrey’s nerves.