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“D’ya ever think about how far we’ve come?” Riku stops fidgeting at the fraying hem of his vest, peers at Sora through a waterfall of silver hair. In this light, Riku thinks to himself, he could mistake Sora for a god himself. Tan, toned, smiling wide without a care in the world- that was his Sora, alright.
“I think you mean how far I’ve come, dragging your ass along with me?” Sora gasps a small oh in fake offense, pushing at Riku with enough force to knock the larger man over. “Dragging me with you? Last time I checked I was the only who looked everywhere for a special someone who wanted to do everything on his own,”
“I….I looked everywhere for you!” Riku inwardly cringes at the tan boy’s use of words, hoping he had gotten good enough at hiding his emotions over the years to spare Sora of his discomfort.It seemingly worked, he realizes, as Sora throws a leg lazily over Riku, straddling his torso.
“Oh, Sora I swear- tickle me and I promise you will regret it,” the latter growls, as if reading Sora’s mind.
“You know me so well,” He chuckles, raising his fingers and wiggling them in anticipation.
“Sora-”
“Try and stop me,” The minute his fingers reach Riku’s soft torso, Sora’s ears fill with the nicest sound he lives to hear. A bunch of memories come to Riku’s mind as Sora continues his assault, tears of laughter filling Riku’s eyes.
-
“How.. How am I gonna face everyone?” He had been so scared, so terrified with the idea of all his friends seeing him like this- the boy who had given into the darkness, the boy who had ruined everything and taken away their beautiful Sora- “Like this!” Just like that, every fear and reservation he held fast to his heart disintegrated, leaving nothing but the bouncing of his own chest and the roaring chuckle coming from his mouth. Leave it to Sora to fix everything. -
He also remembers laughing at a sight not so happy, not so Sora. “You heart? What’s that weak little thing gonna do for you?” He wanted to take it back. It was in the past, but he wanted it back. He wanted to reverse it. Take it back. Take it back. After years of trying to forget, he so easily slipped back into that castle at Hollow Bastion. So quickly saw the hurt and pain on Sora’s face, he wanted to yell at himself to stop- “My heart may be weak, but it’s not alone. It’s connected to all the friends I’ve made!” Before he could blink, any hurt on the brunette’s face disappeared, the very thought of his companions lifting his mood. Why had he ever let go of Sora? Why did he leave? Why did he think their island wasn’t enough? Now, Sora was all Riku wanted and hoped for…
But he was well aware he didn’t deserve him.
And the reality was that he never would.
Riku lightly shoved Sora off him with enough force to make the tan boy fall back on his legs, instantly recognizing the shift in Riku’s eyes. “Riku-”
“No, no, I have to leave. Go to Kairi. Go to someone else,” The taller man barely mutters, dusting off the sand from the beach off his pants and standing.
“Riku, what did I-”
“Nothing, you did nothing. I have to be by myself,” A warm hand encompasses his, squeezing and tugging at him to sit back down.
“I was looking for you….”
“I looked everywhere for you…!”
“I didn’t want to be found.”
Sora on his knees, Sora with tears in his eyes, Sora, Sora, Sora-
“Please, Riku, I’m begging you, don’t push me away again!” He cries, falling to his knees, grasping Riku with such a strength as if he were important.
“Sora, please, I- I can’t-”
“Yes, you can! Stop leaving me, I can’t watch you walk away from me anymore- you always leave me behind! Do I….Do I really mean that little to you?” The small, quiet question shakes Riku out of his reverie and he drops his gaze back to Sora’s striking blue eyes, collecting more tears the longer he held on.
“W-what?” Riku stutters, because that’s truly all he can say. How did Sora not know?
“Do you… do you hate me? Is that why you left the island? Why you hid from me all those years? Why you still won’t talk to me?”
“Riku, man, you gotta stop trying to do everything by yourself!”
“I-I don’t-”
“I didn’t want to be found..”
“Riku just- just tell me the truth….”
“I’m searching for a way to conquer the darkness inside of me...while we try to awaken Sora.”
“...don’t lie to me..”
“If I don’t make it, you’ll be the only one there for Sora...the only one who can guide him when he wakes up.”
“Riku...just….just say something!”
“‘I have to release the power in my heart...even if it destroys me forever.”
Whatever it took in order to wake Sora up. It was his fault that he was asleep to begin with. I have to protect him…
“I don’t hate you, Sora, I-”
Following Sora building behind building. World after world, staying so close to him but maintaing a good enough distance. “Why can’t I find him...it’s like he’s hiding from me.” He hears the brunette sigh with an ache in his heart that was audible. So close but so far- he was so far into the light, Riku couldn’t touch him now, not like this. But just entertaining the idea that he might know- the mere thought that Sora had no idea he- “S-Sora, I-”
“God, Riku, just say it don’t lie, say you hate m-”
“I don’t hate you, I love you, Sora!” The tears that covered Sora’s cheeks almost reflected of his own, but Riku hadn’t even noticed that he had started to cry. He forced open his shut eyes-when had he close them?- and looked at Sora, who held the most bewildered look on his face.
God...I’ve ruined everything. Why couldn’t I stop being selfish- I’m no different than the Riku who first made him cry all those years ago.
“Shit, Sora, I’m sorry I- I gotta go-”
“Riku you….you? Me?” The disbelief that crossed Sora’s face was almost painful, made Riku want to hold him and whisper how much he cared, how in love he was, how he let the darkness take him over all so that beautiful boy would open his eyes and smile his dumb, dorky smile again.
“Of course,” He breathed out. Sora finally connected his thoughts, and it seemed that Riku didn’t need to hold Sora in order for him to know how much he adored him anymore. “And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, I just…” He paused, pressing his lip in between his teeth, trying to will the words out. “..I just want you to know I don’t hate you, even if you don’t like me anymore.”
“Riku,” Sora whispers, as if his name was a new word on his tongue, “Of course I don’t like you!” Before Riku can run, hide, leave him again, Sora tumbles over Riku and looms over him just like they were minutes before. How had all this transpired in only a few minutes? Sora truly was the only one who could strip him bare like this…
“I love you, you dummy! Don’t look so sad, I hate when you look like that.” And Sora grins that big, wide toothy smile, and Riku just melts in his grasp. He doesn’t know who starts it, but their lips meld together, just perfectly, and Riku thinks he was made for this moment. He was made for this boy, to protect him, to love him, to remain by his side. He tries to pour all his pain, all his struggle that was for Sora into his lips as he attacks them, apologizing, confessing, giving his all to the other boy. Sora responded with fervour, trying to prove how much Riku was worth, how he cared, how long he searched for him. “Sora,” Riku whispers, “Sora, Sora,” Chants his name like a prayer, cause it kind of is. Sora redeemed him, he loved him, he healed him- “Riku, stop thinking and kiss me. I can hear your self-denial so well it’s ruining my mood,” Sora chuckles, pulling away and cupping Riku’s face in his hands, taking in the sight of the many he loves so dearly gasping for air, so out of it and all because of him. So beautiful. Sora thinks, and presses open mouthed kisses to Riku’s neck, “You are enough for me,” he mumbles, accentuating each word with a gentle press of his lips to Riku’s skin. Riku thinks he’ll never believe he’s enough, can’t comprehend how this wonderful idiot loves him back, but maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe Sora could fill in his cracks, kiss that doubt away. “Okay,” He whispers, because everything is. He thinks he’ll try to be enough. Everything will be okay. Sora smiles again, god does Riku love his smile, and crashes their lips together just as a wave crashes over the beach, their beach.
Their home. Riku and Sora were home.