Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The snow crunched underneath Darth Vader’s boots, the cold seeping through into the dark but new prosthetics. Vader paid it no mind, as he walked towards the crashed Venator Star Destroyer. He stopped, having noticed a metallic object buried in the snow. Painfully, he fell to one knee and reached into the snow. As Vader lifted the object from the ground, the only sound that could be heard was his respirator, slowly taking deep breaths, doing the work his lungs could no longer. Darth Vader observed the object in his hands: A Jedi’s Lightsaber, but not just any, his former Padawan, Ahsoka Tano’s. Tentatively, he wiped the snow off the relic and ignited it, watching as the blue blade erupted into the sky, a symbol of a time long gone, a time of happiness and love.

It was a lightsaber he’d personally modified, with care and love, just for her; just for his Padawan. He remembered returning it to her, the joy he had of seeing her alive and well. He remembered so much, and before Anakin could dwell any more on the past, a Convor’s cry interrupted the happy memories, the happy memories of the former cocky and joyful Jedi Knight. Vader gazed up into the sky at the Convor flying overhead, his red lens obscuring the silent emotional turmoil underneath his mask. There, he sat, gazing at the Convor as if it had personally offended him, in which case, it probably had. Eventually, he sheathed Ahsoka’s lightsaber and tore his gaze away. His eyes narrowly avoided the 501st Clone helmet laying in the snow, painted to resemble Ahsoka Tano’s face markings, as a way to honour her.

Darth Vader walked to one of the former Grand Army of the Republic soldiers, now under his command, and gave his orders.

“Clean up this mess, make sure you grab everything, we do not want the Rebellion obtaining anything...useful, from the site. After you are done, store anything you find of importance, including the painted helmets, in my personal quarters.” Vader’s command was instantly heeded, as the clones got to work salvaging what they could and making sure to leave nothing behind. Of course, that was the official reason for his report, the actual reason however; was much simpler. Anakin simply wanted a small reminder of the girl he saw as his sister, of the time long past, of a time of happiness and unity. With a great sadness in his still organic heart, Darth Vader headed back to his ship, hiding the relic of a lightsaber in a place no one, not even the Emperor, would find it.

Chapter Text

It’s been over a decade since Vader had accepted Ahsoka’s apparent demise. He has fully embraced the power of the dark side, and remained loyal to Darth Sidious since. Sidious had found out about Vader’s attempts to keep the unique helmets the clones who were loyal to Ahsoka wore, and not only had destroyed them without mercy, but had also been sure to torture Vader relentlessly, trying to ingrain into his head that his past was gone, and that he now served as his puppet. Darth Vader thought back to that day, how could he not? After all, his suit was left smoking and in critical condition afterwards, to the point he would have died had Sidious not forced a droid to make repairs.

“What is this my apprentice?” Sidious said, wandering Vader’s personal quarters aboard the Devastator, having spotted a painted Clone Trooper helmet forgotten in a corner. Darth Sidious scowled as he used the force to pick up the helmet, and before Vader had a chance to say anything, threw it at him along with torrents of Force Lightning. The helmet sailed through the air, and then was struck by the lightning. As soon as the powerful force lightning connected, the helmet exploded; and the onslaught of Sidious’s power was striking Vader, bringing him to his knees. Darth Vader refused to utter a sound, merely accepting the torment his master brought onto him. The lightning rattled through what was left of his nervous system, setting it ablaze and causing his whole body to rattle and shake. His leg prosthetics sparked and glowed, unable to withstand the force of the assault. His left arm sparked and exploded, the force of which sent Vader flying into the wall of his quarters. Not even receiving a chance to recover, Palpatine continued to blast Darth Vader with his power, without any mercy. Vader began shaking even more, but not just from pain, as Sidious began to speak.

“Your past is no more Lord Vader, you serve me and the Dark Side. You do not require or want any relic of the Republic and it’s clones. Your weak Padawan is dead, Padme is dead, Obi Wan betrayed you, I am all you have left. You will not disrespect me by bringing pitiful reminders of a forgotten era into my fleet.” Sidious snarled, continuing to pour lightning into Vader’s body, gleefully watching the smoke steam from his suit, and finally hearing Vader’s screams.

At the mention of Padme however, Vader shook even more, and began to stand. Seeing his apprentice begin to stand brought Sidious to laughter, as he continually increased the output of pain he inflicted on his protege. Vader slowly walked towards Sidious, his respirator sizzling and sputtering out. Just as he was about to reach his evil master, he fell to his knees, unable to take any more. Sidious ceased his onslaught, once Vader fell. Walking away, he pushed a button by the door to call for a medical droid, and left Darth Vader on the floor, prosthetics sizzling and exploding, respirator shutting down, and skin blistering and red from his torture.

Darth Vader shut his eyes, wincing at the flashback of that day. The agony of which, he could still feel in his skin. He had never fully healed, his skin hideously scarred underneath and disfigured. He shuddered to think of what would have happened if Sidious had found Ahsoka’s old lightsaber. Retrieving it from inside the wall, Vader examined it. It was a symbol of a past no longer his, as well as a future that would never be. He barely had any time to reminisce over it, when his computer beeped. His master was calling, likely with a new mission. “Lord Vader, I have a new mission for you.” Sidious said, soothingly, as if he hadn’t long ago tortured Vader within an inch of his life. Sidious paused, as if waiting for something, then continued speaking: “You will go to Malachor, unlock the secrets to an ancient Sith weapon, and if necessary, eliminate the forces of the Rebellion present there.” Vader had no choice but to obey, and accepted the mission. “It will be done my Lord.” Vader said, anger brimming inside him at the thought of the rebels. The rage and grief that had powered Vader for so long coursed through his body, empowering his actions and enraging him.

Darth Vader was en route to Malachor, to hopefully locate an ancient Sith temple and eliminate the forces of the Rebellion. There was a tingling in the back of his head, different from the pain caused by his burns and various scars. He had some strange feeling, as if the Force was telling him something. Vader felt there was something else besides the ancient weapon on Malachor, something familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time.

Chapter Text

Vader had finally arrived on Malachor, and entered the Sith Temple. He was about to deal the killing blow to the Rebellion’s latest hope, a young Jedi padawan. For the majority of the fight, the padawan had seemed brave, almost, strong, that is until Vader broke his lightsaber and was ready to deal the killing blow. “Perhaps I was wrong,” Vader stated, raising his red lightsaber to deal the killing blow, however, a voice stopped him. “It wouldn’t be the first time.” rang out from behind him. Vader lowered his lightsaber and turned around, only to face someone he once thought dead. Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker’s late former padawan, was staring with a fierce determination at him. She looked at him with a hatred he’d never before wanted directed at him and it unnerved him. Darth Vader shook slightly, staring at this long lost remnant of Anakin Skywalker’s past. “It was foretold that you would be here.” Vader spoke, half a lie, he knew something would be here, but not what or, in this case; who. Darth Vader continued: “Our long awaited meeting has come at last.” It was hard seeing her, speaking to her, Vader was slightly shaking inside his suit, unnoticed by Ahsoka. It hurt to see her, he missed her, yet he hated her. He could feel the rage at her boiling beneath the surface. He thought she was dead, she let him believe she was dead! It hurt, it stung, and all Darth Vader wanted to do was stop it. To eliminate this final fragment of Anakin Skywalker, the fallen Jedi Knight.

Ahsoka stared at Vader’s red lenses, his horrific mask, the mask, that she thought may belong to her former master. “I’m glad I gave you something to look forward to.” She spoke, trying to stop her voice from cracking. Vader looked at her, and turned off his lightsaber. “We need not be adversaries. The Emperor will show you mercy if you tell me where the remaining Jedi can be found.” He said, taking her aback slightly. Her leaving him, leaving him shrouded in darkness, stung. However, he would very much like to have her by his side again, he missed his Snips more than anything. Ahsoka spoke her reply soon, not even giving it a second thought, she could never join this monster. This monster had murdered her master, had murdered numerous of her old friends, and was responsible for most of the torment she’s faced since Order 66. She would die before joining this Sith lord. “There are no Jedi!” she growled. “You and your Inquisitors have seen to that! Ahsoka Tano spoke the words with such malice, it slightly startled Vader. That was a voice she’d never want speaking to him like that, as if he’d caused her severe emotional and physical pain, which, in a way; he had. Darth Vader could sense Ezra slowly trying to crawl away, gain some distance, between himself and Vader. Vader turned to gaze at Ezra, a look of anger and fury hidden behind his lenses. He spat: “Perhaps this child will confess what you will not.”. Ezra was frightened, staring at nothing but the blood red lenses of Darth Vader’s mask. No matter how much training he could get, he was still a child, and the Sith lord Darth Vader was a thing of nightmares, he was something that haunted him in his sleep.

Ahsoka looked at Darth Vader with both fierce determination, and a concealed incredible sadness. “I was beginning to believe I knew who you were behind that mask. But it’s impossible, my master could never be as vile as you.” This caused Vader to tear his gaze away from the frightened Ezra, and stare at Ahsoka. The lightning arced across the walls behind him, giving him an even more menacing look. “Anakin Skywalker was weak! I destroyed him.” Vader said, pushing away memories of Skyguy and Snips on Christophis that were threatening to emerge, the place they’d met at and that those nicknames originated.

Ahsoka closed her eyes and pursed her lips, as if trying to stop herself from shedding tears. She opened her eyes, and spoke with a hidden fury, anger directed at the monster in front of her, who to her; was responsible for killing her master, as well as her friends. “Then I will avenge his death!” She spoke. Vader stared menacingly at her, shielding the emotional turmoil going on inside his head as he spoke. “Revenge is not the Jedi way.” He stated. Ahsoka blinked, then spoke again: “I am no Jedi!” and ignited her dual white lightsabers. Darth Vader ignited his, and put it defensively in front of his chest. Vader knew Ahsoka would attack first, she always had been reckless, and that’s what he’d loved about her being his padawan, no, that’s what Anakin had loved about her. Vader didn’t love anything, his weak counterpart Anakin Skywalker did. Love was weakness, a weakness the Sith lord could not afford. In this dark world, it was kill or be killed, and he was the apex predator.

Electricity arcing from the temple danced across the walls, as their long-awaited duel began. Ahsoka did indeed attack first, running full speed towards Vader with her dual sabers dipping on her sides. Instead of swinging with her lightsaber she feigned a slash and sent a flying kick towards his mask. Their fight had begun, and neither side was prepared to lose, as losing would mean death. Vader slashed his lightsaber towards her, mustering all his strength into each swing. Each swing was meant to decapitate, to inflict maximum devastation, and kill the former padawan. Ahsoka narrowly blocked and avoided his swings, using her dual sabers to block as much as possible. She force pushed him away, and he crouched to stop his movement.

Vader raised his lightsaber to block Ahsoka leaping onto him with all her strength, bringing her dual sabers down to cleave him. She bounced off his defense and quickly saber locked with him. Ahsoka slightly pushed him back then leaped back, avoiding his deadly lightsaber. Using her athletic gymnastic skills, she continuously flipped backwards, as he swung with all his force towards her in vain efforts to cleave her in two. To any onlooker, their intense duel must have looked like a dance, as they weaved around each other, continuously blocking or countering each attack. They were just blurs of white and red, as they constantly clashed against each other. The Light Side versus the Dark Side, a flurry of blows being dealt. After an intense skirmish, one in which Vader was beginning to overpower and tire Ahsoka, Vader force pushed her off a ledge and out of sight. Staring at where she had fallen, Vader was conflicted about walking away from her. At this point the Temple had begun to violently erupt electricity around the battlefield, and was continuously becoming even more volatile. Ezra and Kanan attempted to make their escape, however, Ezra was being pulled to Darth Vader by the force. Vader had no thoughts on what he was about to do to the child once he caught him. Torture, murder, it didn’t matter, all that mattered was pleasing his master. Darth Vader was deeply conflicted about Ahsoka Tano, every second of their fight agonized him. She was nearly as strong as him, after all, Anakin Skywalker had trained her. Ezra was trying as hard as he could to resist Vader’s pull, Kana attempting to help.

However, Vader failed to notice the Togruta warrior running towards him from behind, dual white lightsabers ready to unleash a devastating blow. Purple electricity arced dangerously close to the combatants, a very obvious sign of the increasing destabilization of the ancient temple. The Sith lord turned around at the last second, bringing his lightsaber around to defend himself but was not fast enough. Ahsoka kicked Vader, quickly blocked his saber, and then swung her other lightsaber around into his mask. Sparks flew out of Darth Vader’s mask, signifying intense damage. Vader’s vocorder let out a loud whirring noise, having been devastated by the blow. Ahsoka rolled away, and fell on her face, as Vader fell to his knees. Ezra shouted for Ahsoka to hurry, as the temple was becoming dangerously volatile and unstable, and they had to make their escape.

Ahsoka Tano managed to begin propping herself up, exhausted by the climb back towards Vader and their fierce duel. However, a very familiar voice stopped her in her tracks. “Ashoka” The Sith lord behind her uttered, causing her eyes to widen. It sounded like a mix between a voice she used to cherish, and that of Darth Vader. She turned around, staring at Vader in shock. Vader was crouched to one knee, and the side of his mask she’d struck was hidden from view. Finally, after an agonizing couple seconds, Vader picked up his head and looked directly at her. Smoke rolled out from the hole she’d carved into Vader’s mask, but that wasn’t what had her transfixed. Staring at her was the face of her former master, and brother in everything but blood; Anakin Skywalker. “Ahsoka.” He said, again, opening his exposed eye and leaving her shocked. His normally bright blue eyes were full yellow, Sith yellow. The color of absolute Sith hatred and agony. She gasped slightly, and uttered the name of the man she used to idolize, and to this day still does. “Anakin.” Her voice comes out full of sadness, shock, and misery. Her bright eyes staring at him, scared, and with dread. Anakin Skywalker manages to stand, and simply stares at her, towering over her at his full height. Ahsoka stood, staring at him in shock, her lightsabers held firmly but deactivated in her hands. She spoke with a fierce determination, one of which Anakin had heard numerous times during the Clone Wars. “I won’t leave you!” Not this time!” She said, determined to see it through and with as much care and love as she could muster for her master. Vader took a deep breath out of his respirator and stared at her, his cape billowing around him. “Then you will die.” He said, igniting his lightsaber. His exposed pupil dilated due to the sudden light of his red saber. He spoke the threat to her with a malice she’d never heard before, in Anakin’s voice. It shook Ahsoka to her core, making her feel miserable and scared at the same time. Ahsoka turned and pushed Ezra away, back towards his ship, and narrowly blocked behind her with her sabers, blocking Vader’s killing blow.

Darth Vader continued with all his might, hell bent on killing this final fragment of Anakin. Every swing had a purpose, cleave, cut, slash, eviscerate, stab, kill. Ahsoka went on the defensive, she couldn’t bring herself to fight back, she couldn’t bring herself to continue fighting her brother. Vader battered on her with all his might, bringing his sabers against hers as hard and strong as he could. He pushed her back multiple times, and they eventually saber locked. The temple was violently shaking behind them and electricity was erupting across the walls, beginning to completely destabilize. The fury of the temple nearly matched Vader’s attempts to behead Ahsoka. The crystal behind her exploded, and Ahsoka knew what she had to do, having seen what was about to happen as the temple increasingly became deadly. She pushed Vader back, and dug her lightsabers into the ground. Cracks appeared all around Vader and her, threatening to break apart and send them into an abyss below. Vader swung towards her defenseless figure, and just before his saber connected; the ground exploded below both of them. Ahsoka Tano and Darth Vader fell below into the abyss of the temple, likely to never be seen again.

Chapter Text

Vader felt pain, incredible pain. The damage was severe. He tried taking deep breaths but found it was incredibly difficult, his respirator was severely damaged from the fall. Darth Vader’s mask was splintered in numerous places, threatening to break apart at the merest tremble. His prosthetic arm was greatly damaged, having been struck by numerous pieces of debris throughout his descent into the bowels of the temple. He couldn’t find his lightsaber, despite attempting to reach it using the force. By this point, his arm was sparking and pieces of metal were jutting out, like jagged spikes. He had little mobility of it, and knew he had to get to his ship to perform repairs. However, he couldn’t move, as he was pinned under a large piece of debris. He couldn’t muster up the strength to use the force to free him from this predicament, his only hope was his master would find him. By now, he was coughing blood and having trouble seeing. He had internal bleeding and his exposed eyes were continuously being stung by the harsh Malachor air, he wasn’t used to feeling anything besides the dark mask of Darth Vader. While the physical pain may have been absolutely agonizing, the emotional pain made him wish he didn’t exist. He felt he’d killed Ahsoka Tano, his padawan, and one of the most important people to Anakin Skywalker.

Darth Vader was at war with himself, at war with the parts that were Anakin, and the parts that were the Sith lord he’d become. He thought he’d feel complete, eliminating such an important piece of Anakin Skywalker; yet he felt dead inside. All his hatred was imploding on himself, and he found the only emotion he could feel was anger, and a deep gut-wrenching sadness, a hollow darkness inside his heart. He argued to himself, he’d been following orders, but had he? Technically, Ahsoka Tano wasn’t even a Jedi, and while she had been a Rebel, he wasn’t entirely obligated to kill her, he could have captured her; interrogated her. At least, that’s what he argued to himself. Deep down, he knew she would never have let him capture her, and she certainly wouldn’t have revealed anything, Anakin had taught her well.

Vader was conflicted, between his duty and his love. He kept trying to tell himself that Sith didn’t love, that it was against everything. Love had killed Padme, his love had killed Padme. He was Vader, he had done horrible things, he was undeserving and incapable of love. All he was was the puppet to the Emperor, the feared monster Darth Vader, nothing mattered besides his duty, and his duty was to kill the rebels, of which Ahsoka sadly was part of.

Ahsoka Tano gasped, as she came to. She tried to remember what had happened, why she was down in this horribly dark and evil feeling place. Her head ached intensely, nearly making her yell in pain. She slowly pieced together what had happened. Fighting Darth Vader, the Sith lord, no; not Vader. Her former master Anakin Skywalker, he was Darth Vader, or Darth Vader was him; she didn’t know. All she knew was that he’d recognized her, somehow. Underneath that harsh exterior and cold heart of the dark side, he’d seen her; not as an adversary, but as Ahsoka Tano, his padawan. She hadn’t heard his voice in so long, a decade or so. She never thought she’d hear her name spoken by that voice again. Hell, she thought she’d never hear him again, she thought Anakin Skywalker had perished in Order 66. That day was the worst one of her life, and it still traumatised her to this day.

Ahsoka began to examine her injuries, besides a possible concussion and a sprained ankle, she felt relatively fine. She knew she had no way to check for internal bleeding or injuries that ran much deeper; but as long as she could escape she’d be fine. She heard someone coughing, no, not just coughing, full on seemingly coughing their lungs out; a loud and ear splitting dry hacking cough; as if the person was dying right there. She slowly maneuvered the rubble of the temple that surrounded her, scaling it as much as she could with her injured ankle. Ahsoka’s ankle throbbed as she made her way up, but she knew she had to see who it was; although she had a feeling. She nearly tripped over a metallic object laying around the debris, and gasped as she looked at it. Vader’s lightsaber, in all it’s harsh glory, was covered in dust and down here, she knew that meant he was still here. She needed to find her lightsabers too, but first she needed to find him, the Sith lord who’d just tried to behead her. The coughing had now turned into moaning, the person making the sounds apparently in a great deal of pain. She pulled herself over a large rock blocking her path, and gasped, seeing her once best friend looking at her.

Vader reached out with the force, noticing rocks being disturbed coming towards him, and the sounds of someone gasping for air from exertion getting closer and closer. He felt a very familiar force presence, heading right for him. He gasped to himself, he hadn’t killed her; she was coming to kill him. He tried to break free from the rubble pinning him down, but couldn’t. Vader tried reaching out for his lightsaber a second time, surprisingly; he felt it, but it did not make its way to him. He was utterly defenseless, and Ahsoka Tano would have no problem finishing him off and claiming the victory for the rebellion. All he could do was move his intact arm and adjust his head to look towards her, awaiting his fate. He would not give her the satisfaction of begging for mercy, he was a Sith lord; not a coward.

After an agonizing few minutes, the rocks closest to his position began shaking, as Ahsoka made her way over them. He finally saw her, the small fragments of light illuminating her face enough, and he gazed at the numerous bruises and the blood on the side of her head. Then, he saw the weapon clipped to her belt, his lightsaber. She was going to finish him with his own weapon, the irony. It hurt looking at her, he hadn’t taken the time to really notice during their fight, but she had grown immensely. He felt some weird feeling in his chest, something akin to...pride?

The emotional pain was greatly outweighing the physical pain of his destroyed prosthetics and painful breathing, he couldn’t bring himself to look at her any longer. She had become a powerful and prideful warrior, leading a rebellion against his empire, and so far succeeding in evading capture. The fragments of Anakin inside him were proud of her, and Vader tried his best to ignore it. He hung his head, awaiting the killing blow, it was what he deserved; it made sense for her to do it

However, he was greatly surprised when she began pulling the rocks off of his chest, slowly making progress in freeing him from this predicament. He brought his head up and watched her, not willing to speak yet thinking of reasons she would try to free him. Does she not want to kill me when I’m defenseless? He thought, but had no time to dwell, as another hacking cough overcame him. He found it hard to keep himself from crying, as the pain of the cough and being unable to breathe was immense. Between the emotional and physical pain combined, Vader just wanted to curl up into a shell and die. All his anger and sadness was directed at himself, and he so rightfully deserved it.

As he awaited his seemingly imminent death, memories blinded him, nearly making him cry. He saw her on Christophsis, saving his life, then bragging about it to the clones. He’d been annoyed initially, then began enjoying it, she was a lot like him that way. Slightly cocky, but also humble and kind. He’d told her he’d never let anyone hurt her, yet he’d tried to kill her. It stung inside, made his heart tear itself apart, it’d be easier just having died from the fall.

Ahsoka looked at her former master, lying helpless underneath huge pieces of rubble. It hurt to look at him, and all the memories of their relationship passed through her head. He was her best friend, he was everything to her, and it was a lot less painful imagining him dead, than seeing what he’d become. He was looking at her, the one eye she’d exposed in their fight staring at her, pain and misery, as well as anger; exposed in it. She missed his blue eyes, it was hard seeing his eyes the color of evil, of hatred, of Sith.

Memories made her head throb in pain, memories of Christophsis, of her saving his life, and him always saving hers. Blue Shadow Virus, how he didn’t even try to hide his care for her, how he agonized himself watching her nearly die. Geonosis, where she’d nearly died buried underneath the Droid foundry. Despite Luminara’s protests to his attachment, he dug for her, and didn’t give up on finding her. She’d heard the worry in his voice when she had told him her and Bariss wouldn’t make it, and she had felt horrible. But, when he was digging for her, trying to free her from the rubble of Poggle’s Droid foundry, it made her feel so loved and wanted. The look of relief on his face when he saw her, she loved it, and she loved him.

This was her former master, and she knew in that moment she’d keep her word. She wouldn’t leave him, not now, not later, not again. Despite what he’d become, she felt he could be saved. Anakin was still in there, she just had to pull him out. She made her way down, and started removing the rubble pinning him to the floor. She saw his eyes repeatedly glance at his lightsaber clipped to her belt, silently wondering to himself when she’d kill him. After making adequate progress in freeing him, she looked at his eyes and was startled. She didn’t see as much anger as before, no, she saw something that looked suspiciously like…pride? Pride at her? At who she’d become? She didn’t know, all she knew was they’d both die here if she didn’t help him, and she needed to save him. She loved him like family. After an agonizing second, he hung his head down, as if waiting for her to do something. It was like he was waiting for something, but she didn’t know what.

Ahsoka reached out with the force and gripped the largest piece of rock pinning him to the ground. Slowly, she raised it, and as she did, Vader gasped in deep breaths, while his respirator was greatly damaged; the giant rock certainly didn’t help him with breathing. She threw the rock as far as she could, hearing it slam into the ground far away from them, no longer a burden. Vader looked at her, and slowly stood up. He towered over her, and it scared her, but what scared her even more was what she did after. She hugged him. She hugged Darth Vader...and didn’t let go.

Chapter Text

Shock was all over Darth Vader’s face. He didn’t know how to react. He was frozen. Ahsoka was hugging him, him as in, the Sith lord. He nearly cried, he didn’t know what to feel. He hadn’t been hugged in so long. He hadn’t felt any sort of care or love, only the morbid demented care from his master, the care that tortured him whenever they saw each other. He didn’t deserve a hug, he didn’t deserve love. He couldn’t fathom why the Malachor someone would hug him, it simply didn’t make sense. With a start, he realized she was still hugging him, and he hadn’t pushed her away. He tried to, but found that he didn’t have the strength to.
Suddenly, she pulled away and looked at him. “I missed you Anakin.”
She said, tears brimming in her eyes. Harshly, he finally spoke: “That is not my name, Anakin Skywalker is dead.”

Ahsoka shook her head, trying not to cry.

“No, he is not dead, he’s still there, underneath all the Sith. I know he is, because you would have killed me by now if he wasn’t.” She stated, as if it was a concrete fact, and although he wouldn’t admit it, it was. He couldn’t bring himself to kill her. All his anger at her, at the Jedi, was imploding on himself. He hated himself, for trying to hurt her, for fighting her.

“I meant it when I said I wouldn’t leave you again. We will escape here together, and I won’t leave you.” She continued, a defiant look in her eyes, as if daring him to say no.

“You wouldn’t have to leave me, if you’d join the emperor, he would treat you right, grant you powers you could only begin to dream of. He coul-” He was cut off as Ahsoka slapped him.

She was screaming at him: “Is that why you joined him? Is that why you killed your friends and family? Is that why you became this monster! FOR POWER?”

His mask cracked even more under the force of her slap, a chunk ripping off where she’d already cut it open, exposing his nose to the environment completely. He knew he should feel guilty, but he didn’t. He felt anger, how dare she touch him, how dare she ADMONISH HIM! She did not understand the power of the dark side. Ahsoka didn’t know what he’d lost for it! What it was supposed to accomplish!

Darth Vader reached for his lightsaber, and managed to grip it before she could react and stop him. Quickly, he pulled it out and ignited it, pointing it at her throat. However, by this point, his arms were shaking and he was finding it hard to hold. He was finding it hard to hold his weapon, and his emotions, at bay.

Ahsoka looked at him and made no move to defend herself. Although she was scared, she did not show it. Instead, she glared at him with a look of intense defiance. “If Anakin Skywalker is truly dead, then kill me where I stand. I will not leave you, not now, not ever, the only way I will is if you kill me; and that’s only if I don’t spend my afterlife following you.”

Slowly, and shakingly, he lowered his lightsaber and dropped it to the ground. He knew his master would want him to kill her, to add her to the ever-growing list of Jedi vanquished, yet he couldn’t find the willpower to do it. She was his padawan, his sister, and best friend. He failed the attachment part of the Jedi code, yet he didn’t care.

She bent down and picked up his saber, clipping it back to her belt. Then, she looked at him, a look of pity, and spoke a question he was hoping she’d never ask.

“Why did you do it Skyguy?”

She didn’t have to clarify for him to know what she was talking about. Hearing his old nickname stung, it was a long lost relic, one he thought he’d never hear. Anakin sat in front of a nearby rock, and prepared himself. He let his shoulders drop, and slowly pulled off his mask, by this point, his respirator had nearly completely died, and was doing him more harm than good.

She watched him, eyes wide open as she began seeing the hideously charred and scarred skin underneath. Wounds from being tortured by Sith lightning not even a week ago were still prevalent, still healing, still tender, along his forehead. He had no hair, his hair follicles having been completely decimated by the lava of Mustafar.

Ahsoka looked at him, overcome with shock. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know what had happened to him, yet; she didn’t recoil in the slightest. She sat across from him and looked at him, pity and care in her bright blue eyes.

Finally, Anakin raised his head and looked at her. Finally, he answered her question. “I had visions of Padme dying, visions of her dying in childbirth. Her and I were married, and she was pregnant, the baby was mine.” He paused, taking in her reaction, and continued: “I didn’t feel Obi Wan or the Jedi Council would help, instead, I felt they’d expel me from the order, so I didn’t confide in any of them. Palpatine or really, Darth Sidious knew though; and offered me the power to save her, to reverse death. I couldn’t refuse.” By now, tears were shedding from his eyes, and he found it hard to focus, yet; he pushed on. “I swore allegiance to him, in exchange for the power. I killed younglings, Jedi, I helped execute Order 66, the decimation of the Jedi Order.”

He paused, again, unable to continue. He wanted to say more, to tell her about Padme and Obi Wan, to try to justify his actions, but he couldn’t. The guilt was overwhelming, and it made it difficult to think. She looked at him, as if she was reading him. Ahsoka didn’t have even the slightest morsel of hate or anger on her face, instead she showed immense sadness and care, care for him.

She moved towards him, and pulled him against her chest, as if to comfort him.
Slowly, he stopped shivering and crying. He had no idea why he was so emotional around her, he’d never cried in front of anyone before, why was he in front of her?
“I understand Skyguy, I understand. I understand feeling unheard by the Jedi order, I understand wanting to reverse death, and I understand being manipulated. Bariss manipulated me and framed me for her crimes, Sidious has manipulated you.”

She spoke, slowly, and tenderly, carefully measuring each word.
Then, an idea came to her mind, something probably risky to say but she felt it was right.
“You know, Anakin, Rex is alive.”
The effect was instantaneous, he instantly stopped shaking and looked at her, yellow eyes wide. However, as fast as he’d changed, he went somber again. Closing his eyes and hanging his head, he finally spoke. “He wouldn’t want to see me, to see what I’ve become.”

Ahsoka was tempted to slap him for the second time that day. “Of course he would, you were more than comrades, you were family, you and him went through everything together.” She paused, anticipating a reaction. When none came, she continued: “If we escape here, I’ll take you to see him. How does that sound?”

He perked up slightly, and appeared to be contemplating it. “Deal” he said, and slowly stood up. “We need to escape now though, before the Empire wonders what happened, before Sidious comes to find me.” His voice broke towards the end, lip quivering in fear. She could see the injuries from Sidious adorned on his skin, and reached for his one functional hand, and squeezed. He didn’t feel it physically, but he did feel the emotion behind it.

They both began looking for a way out, the abyss they’d fallen into appeared to be the catacombs of the temple. A sort of underground network used by the Sith, and finally serving as their tomb. They made their way around numerous piles of debris, Vader occasionally having to help Ahsoka up, as her ankle was slowly becoming even more injured from the strain. Finally, they reached a long hallway, one so dark they couldn’t see anything. Ahsoka pulled out Vader’s lightsaber, and ignited it. The red light bathed them and the walls, illuminating their path.

Vader looked at his saber somberly, but continued on. He hated feeling weaponless, he trusted Ahsoka, but not having your weapon with you was something very foreign. Slowly, they made their way towards the surface, neither really saying a word. Anakin was slowly processing his thoughts. Thoughts of duty, of his loyalty to the Jedi, to Ahsoka, or to the Empire and Sidious. He was deeply conflicted, scared of the looks he’d face, especially by Rex and any one else he knew that survived. He hadn’t told Ahsoka yet, but Obi Wan was alive, and he dreaded having to face his old master. He felt anger at Obi Wan for leaving him to die, but also guilt at how he treated him. The harsh memories quickly overcame him; he remembered their last words, their fight.

“I have failed you Anakin.” Obi Wan said, his voice wrought with sadness and grief. “I have failed you.” he repeated. They fought, and Vader winced as he remembered the epilogue of their dual.

Obi Wan severing his legs, and berating him, filling him with immense hatred, guilt and anger. As his eyes turned Sith yellow, Obi Wan screamed at him:
“You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith! Not join them!” Obi Wan paused, caught his breath, and continued. “Bring balance to the Force! Not leave it in darkness!” He concluded, and Anakin screamed back: “I HATE YOU!”

Obi Wan picked up his lightsaber then looked at him, a deep sorrow in his eyes. Finally, he yelled back: “You were my brother Anakin. I loved you! Obi Wan looked like he wanted to cry, but didn’t, and walked away as Anakin’s torso was ignited by the lava of Mustafar.

Vader was pulled out of his dark memories when Ahsoka finally spoke. “I see light! We’re almost there!” Vader was gasping, horrified at his own memories. He felt guilt for how he treated his former master, and knew he had to make amends.

Finally, they made their way into the light of Malachor, and made their way to Vader’s ship. The Ghost crew had left Ahsoka, fearing her dead, so Vader’s ship was the only route off. Vader hesitated, as he neared his ship, he feared the looks on peoples faces. “Where are we going?” He quietly asked.

Ahsoka smiled a small smile at him, and responded: “To see Bail Organa, and the rebellion.”
Vader’s self hatred was returning full force, he wasn’t sure how Bail would react to seeing him, if he’d ever even look at him. He sighed, maybe he’d be able to find out where Obi Wan is if he saw Bail, so he agreed. “What will they think of me?” He asked, wracked with guilt.

Ahsoka looked at him with the same look she’d given him in the catacombs, a look of pity and caringness. “It doesn’t matter what they think of Darth Vader, it matters what they think of Anakin Skywalker.”

By now, they were at his ship, and Vader’s lungs were aching heavily without the use of his respirator. The ship was a one seater, so they would have to squeeze in. Ahsoka would have to fly, as Vader couldn’t even breathe or use his left arm, much less fly a fighter.

Ahsoka began flying them to Alderan, to see Bail Organa, and Anakin didn’t know how to feel about it.