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there's five things you must know about kozume kenma.
one, kenma is quiet and reserved. anyone who meets him knows this right off the bat. he would enage in a polite introduction and only engage himself in necessary talks. it's not that kenma is an anti-social, no. he;s ust introverted and is not much of a conversationalist. that's why he let kuroo make the introduction and all the talk for him.
two, kenma is perceptive, discerning. the title of "nekoma's brain" isn't for nothing. his ability to observe and formulate tactics to manipulate the match to their advantage is one of the reasons why nekoma is reconized as a powerhouse school. but his discernment is not limited to the court. kenma is good at percieving people, observing their actions. that's how kenma can always easily tell whether kuroo is lying to him or not. being around with the bedhead boy for so long, reading his body language was like breathing to kenma.
three, kenma is really good at masking his feelings. he's not unfeeling, he's just good at hiding the overwhelming waves of emotions under his stoic, resting bitch face mask. kenma is really good at hiding his emotions. well, except with kuroo. kuroo can read kenma like an open book. kuroo always know what kenma is feeling with one look at him. if kenma can easily read kuroo, then so does kuroo for kenma. other than kuroo, kenma thinks shoyo will be the only other person who will be able to do that.
four, the aforementioned "kuroo" in the past paragraphs is kenma's bestfriend, kuroo tetsurou, who was one year ahead of kenma. they'd known each other since they were children. kuroo tetsurou was kenma's neighbor for the longest time he could remember. the two kids met then when the kuroo's first moved to their neighborhood and kenma's mom invited kuroo for lunch. kenma's mom urged him to show and play his videogames with kuroo, to which the younger reluctantly agreed to. kuroo was the one who introduced kenma o volleyball. dragging the protesting younger to a field near their houses to play. kenma recalls the first time they played, his arms was littered with red spots. 'internal bleeding, it'll go away later.' as kuroo said. kuroo never lets kenma forget how he gets fever whenever they play too much. that's why kuroo always reminds kenma to drink his water and take his lunch. the older always complains about kenma's lack of appetite and forces him to eat a little more than what kenma wants. "you need to be healthy, kenma!" was the ocassional argument of kuroo when it comes to making kenma eat. the two had been bestfriends for so long, that taking care of each other was as easy as blinking, nattural to both of them. whenever kenma got sick, kuroo would visit the kozume residence to sneak kenma some warm apple pie from their favorite bakery down the street. this would earn kuroo a small, appreciative smile from kenma. mrs. kozume doesnt usually allow kenma to eat any kind of pastries when he's sick so kuroo indulges him. the time before kuroo's parents divorced, kuroo would sneak out to go to kenma's house when his parents fought. kenma would ask his mom to cook fish for dinner at those times, to console kuroo. after dinner, kenma puts kuroo's favorite ghibli movies on, kiki's delivery service and princess mononoke, and they'd watch until they fall asleep on kenma's bed. kuroo was the first one to know that kenma was gay, and kenma was the first one to know kuroo was bisexual. kuroo was there to support kenma when he came out to his parents, it was during kenma's first year in nekoma. kenma's parents hugged him tightly and told him how they were so happy that he trusted them enough to tell him and that they were so proud of him. behind his parens shoulders, kuroo sent him a knowing smile, mouthing an "i told you so." kenma was also there for kuroo when he came out to his grandparents and dad, who hugged kuroo with so much love and accepted him nonetheless. kuroo didnt see, his eyes were drowning in happy tears from the acceptance of his family and his sight blocked by the hugs of his grandparents and father, but kenma smiled proudly, and fondly at him. every memory, every milestone, they were there for each other.
five, it mustve been obvious, kenma is inlove with bestfriend, kuroo tetsurou. kuroo tetsurou who, behind the cool, boyish demeanor was actually the biggest dork and nerd, who prefer saying 'docosahexaenoic acid' rather than the it's acronym, 'DHA.' kuroo tetsurou who dreams to be a pediatrician one day. kuroo tetsurou who is both smart and dumb at the same time; more dumber if he was with bokuto (the two would automatically bluetooth and share their braincells with each other, much to akaashi's pain). kuroo tetsurou who would relate anything, literally anything, to science. kuroo tetsurou who would annoy kenma, yaku, akaashi and tsukishima to wits end with his remarks. kuroo tetsurou who is polite and kind, despite his provocative attitude and bad boy aura. kuroo tetsurou who is cunning , competetive and ambitious. kuroo tetsurou who loves fish too much, that he owned a variety of things that has a fish printed on them; a dozen of fish print or patterned shirt, a fish floatie, fish print swimming trunks, fish plushies, probably every fish novelty he could find. kenma is inlove with kuroo tetsurou. kuroo tetsurou who was kenma's first friend. kuroo tetsurou who got kenma into volleyball. kuroo tetsurou who understood kenma, more that anyone else. kuroo tetsurou.
kenma is fucking in love with kuroo tetsurou.
kenma had tried to confess to the older multiple times, really, and he had chickened out on all of them. the first time was during his first year at highschool. after kenma had come out to his parents, the kozume had invited tetsurou to dinner, to which he politely declined, joking that the kuroo grandmother would throw away his things and insinuate that her grandchild lives with the kozumes instead. the patriarch of the kozume household laughed and both kenma and his mother giggled. kuroo bid the kozumes goodbye, not forgetting to remind kenma about his food portions. once kuroo had left, his parents looked at him with a glint on their eyes, similar to when kuroo planned something. "what?" kenma deadpanned at both his parents. he trudged to the dining room, where the food and cutleries had already been set up in the table. his parents followed him and they dug in to their dinner. although midway, kenma's moher asked him a question which left him choking on his moutful of rice. "so, is it tetsu-kun?" kenma looked at his mother, eyes blown wide at the audacity of the question. kenma's eyes focused on anywhere but his parent. he could feel the warmth in the tips of his ears that was hidden by his long hair. his father smiled in amusement as he continued to stuff food in his face. "so it is tetsurou." his father declared from kenma's lack of reply. his dad swallowed the food he was chewing on and smiled at his son. kenma groaned and the kozume parents laughed at their son. that was when kenma officially decided to admit he does like kuroo tetsurou, after many years of denial. kenma decided to confess a few weeks later, he practiced the words meiculously in front of his mirror at night, when tetsurou wasnt in his room for a sleepover. when the day he settled he will confess came, kenma chickened out. instead of confessing, he's asked tetsurou out to eat in that new barbeque place downtown. he thought if that counts, since he did technically ask kuroo out on a "date". but kenma didnt dwell further into that thought, prefering to indluge in the moment with kuroo. the second time he tried went more or less the same.
time skip a few years later and there was a party, courtesy of kuroo. kenma sat beside kuroo in the couch, they watched their friends goof off as they played party games on the floor. kenma decided not to partake in the games, not wanting to embarass himself. kuroo also rejected bokuto's invitation, grinning wickedly that he'd rather prefer listen to koutaro embarass himself and protect his dignity from the game of 2 truths and 1 lie. the two bestfriends sat there, as they watched their friends one by one embarass themselves. it was a surprise tsukishima and akaashi joined the game.
one, kenma is quiet and reserved.
"hey, kenma." kuroo nudged kenma's sholder. even atfer all this years, a touch from kuroo still sent kenma a blitz of electricity. kenma hummed to kuroo in response. "why dont we try what their doing?" kenma snorted at kuroo. "it's be impossiblefor us both, kuro. we know each other too much." kenma rolled his eyes, but a small smile creeping on his lips. kuroo laughed. "yeah,youre right. i'd know if you were lying to me, goody two shoes." kenma scoffed at him. "and i'd know about your lies, you pathological liar." kenma retorted. kuroo laughed at him.
"tell me a lie then." kenma challenged the older. kuroo raised his eyebrows at him, a cunning smile on his lips. kenma felt his heart beat rapidly, his heartbeat ringing in his ears. god, what did kenma do? kuroo pondered his words and looked at kenma playfully. "in exchange, tell me a truth then?" kuroo negotiated. kenma huffed. "fine. now tell me a lie, let's see if your skills are up to par still, mr. liar."
kuroo thought about what will he say and then looked seriously at kenma. his dark brown eyes boring holes to kenma's amber ones.
"i love you."
the three words rang repeatedly to kenma's ears. it echoed and echoed in his head, his stare blanking out and stare far away from kuroo's eyes as he registered the word his best friend, the love of his life, uttered. when kenma had registered the three words, he wanted to jump, because, fuck, kuroo sounded so serious. and then the ice cold realization hit him in a strong wave, suffocating his lungs, constricting his throat, tear threatening to fall out of his sockets into ocean waves. he knows kuroo is lying. despite the strong gaze, kenma would recognize the signs kuroo was lying. the fiddling on the ends of his shirt and wetting his lip ocassioanally with his tongue when he doesnt get an immediate answer. knowing kuroo was like breathing to kenma.
two, kenma is perceptive.
kenma felt drowning; the sudden wave of realization hitting his heart, hard. breaking it and pushing it down to his guts. he struggled to breathe, he feels his lungs are being filled with water, his eyes deperately wanting to release the ocean of pain that is drowning and numbing him. but depite the ocean of his emotions drowning on him, kenma broke contact with kuroo's eyes and rolled his own in feign annoyance, a small attempt to hold back the tears in his sockets. "you couldve at least stopped fiddling with your shirt kuroo." kenma pointed out like it's the most obvious thing. kuroo smiled sheepishly. "well, your turn, kenma."
three, kenma is really good at masking his feelings.
kuroo looked at him. waiting for kenma's response. kuroo tetsurou. his bestfriend. maybe that's all they were. it's pathetic really, kenma thinks. all the feeling, all the emotions, everyhing he has for kuroo, all came crashing down with one lie. of all the lies kuroo could chose, he chose three words that would ultimately drown kenma in his own challenge, his own trap. one lie that kenma set himself. best friend. maybe, that's all there were to kuroo and kenma. but kenma always, all these years, kenma had wanted more to be kuroo's best friend. he wanted to kiss kuroo, more romantically than when kuroo took kenma's first kiss, that platonic kiss. he wanted to have kuroo, to himself to be the one he always hold, to be the one always beside him. he wants kuroo. but kuroo doesnt want him, not that way at least.
four, the aforementioned "kuroo" in the past paragraphs is kenma's bestfriend.
kenma hid all his thoughts under the mask of pondering. kuroo would just think what truth that sounded like a lie that kenma hasnt told him. kenma pondered. he doesnt have nothing to lose if he tells kuroo. not when his love all belongs to kuroo, not when he lost his heart. kenma also thinks, even after all of this, being his best friend might be okay. as long as he still has kuroo, that's okay. kenma knows he can't lie to kuroo. kuroo knows kenma like his own mind. kenma's toungue itched to tell him, to get it off his chest, to finally end the secret. kenma sighed and kuroo perked up.
"i love you, for the longest time, tetsurou." kenma whispered.
five, it mustve been obvious, kenma is inlove with bestfriend, kuroo tetsurou.