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Jiang Cheng wakes up because Lan Xichen is snoring. Lan Xichen never snores.
Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him, willing him to stop snoring right this second and to not further interrupt his precious sleep, but of course it doesn’t work.
When Lan Xichen continues to snore on and on, Jiang Cheng wriggles his hand out of his blanket cocoon to poke Lan Xichen in the shoulder. Lan Xichen snuffles, turns further into Jiang Cheng and then snores on.
“Xichen,” Jiang Cheng hisses and pokes him even harder, until Lan Xichen blearily blinks up at him.
“What?” he slurs, voice sleepy and he doesn’t even wait for an answer, he just gathers Jiang Cheng and his blanket burrito up in his arms and settles down as if he wants to sleep again.
“You’re snoring!” Jiang Cheng tells him and Lan Xichen hums, clearly not caring about that. “Are you sick?” Jiang Cheng asks him and pesters Lan Xichen again until he opens his eyes.
“I’m not,” he gives back and then promptly sniffles.
“You are,” Jiang Cheng says with disbelieve. “It’s the second day of our honeymoon and you managed to get sick?!”
“I’m not sick,” Lan Xichen says again, though his voice sounds all nasally and he sniffles again. “I’m not!” he insists at Jiang Cheng disbelieving look.
“Do you have a fever?” Jiang Cheng asks and puts his hand on Lan Xichen’s forehead.
“I felt fine all day,” Lan Xichen protests and Jiang Cheng has to admit that he doesn’t feel hot to the touch. “Now stop that, you worrywart and let’s get back to sleeping,” Lan Xichen complaints and tucks Jiang Cheng close again, clearly content to simply drift off again.
Jiang Cheng keeps a worried eye on him, and when Lan Xichen starts to snore again Jiang Cheng sighs, clearly startling Lan Xichen out of his sleep, cause he jerks.
“What now,” he grumbles and Jiang Cheng pokes him again.
“You were snoring again,” Jiang Cheng tells him and he can’t help the worry that builds in his chest.
“I am fine, my heart,” Lan Xichen reassures him. “Maybe it’s from the air conditioning in the plane. You’ll see, it’ll have passed in the morning,” Lan Xichen says and then forcefully snuggles Jiang Cheng to sleep.
It has not passed the next morning. Instead Lan Xichen keeps sniffling, and then his eyes turn all red and watery and he can’t keep from rubbing them and he sneezes every other minute.
He’s definitely sick.
“We’re going to a doctor,” Jiang Cheng decides once Lan Xichen spent five minutes sneezing and Lan Xichen looks so pitiful at him that Jiang Cheng can’t even be mad at him.
“I don’t want to ruin our honeymoon,” Lan Xichen mutters and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at him.
“You’re only ruining it, if you continue to be stubborn and not get this checked out. We’ll see a doctor, they’ll tell you what to do and soon enough you’ll be fine again,” Jiang Cheng tells him, and he already has his phone out, searching for the nearest doctor’s office, because he thinks this is not quite severe enough to warrant a trip to the hospital.
They find a doctor’s office soon enough and despite walking in without an appointment they don’t have to wait that long. Lan Xichen recounts his symptoms to the doctor and when she starts to theorize what it most likely is, Jiang Cheng has to bite back a laugh.
He keeps it together for the rest of the appointment, and long enough for Lan Xichen to gather up his recipe for the medication he was advised to take, but as soon as they step outside the office, Jiang Cheng bursts out laughing.
“It’s a pollen allergy,” he wheezes and actually bends over because he’s laughing so hard.
“Sure, laugh at my pain,” Lan Xichen grumbles, but when Jiang Cheng looks at him, he sees the amused tilt of his mouth.
“I can’t believe this,” Jiang Cheng says and starts to laugh again. “We fly halfway around the globe to spend our honeymoon in springtime and you are allergic to the local flora!”
“I’m going to divorce you,” Lan Xichen says matter of factly at that, and it only prompts Jiang Cheng to laugh some more.
He laughs until Lan Xichen’s look starts to turn petulant rather than amused and then Jiang Cheng slides his hand up Lan Xichen’s neck, to cup the back of his head and pull him into a kiss.
“You’re going to do no such thing,” Jiang Cheng mumbles against his lips.
“Oh, yeah?” Lan Xichen asks and chases him for one more kiss. “Give me a good reason why. Because my husband has been laughing at my plight and I am not liking it.”
“Because,” Jiang Cheng starts and darts in again for another quick kiss, “you said yes to me in front of all of our family. In front of my still disapproving mother and your still hoping for someone better for you uncle. You watched our brothers cry, and our nephews throw around flowers in the most adorable way ever. You had your almost adopted son bear our rings and you’re not going to break all of their hearts by telling them it was all for nothing,” Jiang Cheng explains to him and Lan Xichen narrows his eyes at him.
“What about your heart, dear husband?” he wants to know but Jiang Cheng shakes his head at him.
“If you truly do take it back, there will no longer be a heart in your poor ex-husband,” he tells Lan Xichen. “So better not risk it.”
“I see,” Lan Xichen gives back and pretends he has to think about this for a few moments. “Better not risk it,” he finally agrees, before Jiang Cheng can gasp in mock outrage and he clearly wants to go in for another kiss, but the sneezes that suddenly wreck him prevent him from doing so.
“It’s time we found ourselves a pharmacy for you,” Jiang Cheng decides through his chuckles and starts to drag Lan Xichen along, his phone already in his hand again.
“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?” Lan Xichen asks with a sigh, but he dutifully follows Jiang Cheng along.
“Never,” Jiang Cheng absentmindedly replies, searching for the nearest pharmacy.
“Well, it’s still only the beginning of our honeymoon,” Lan Xichen muses and kisses the back of Jiang Cheng’s hand. “I’m going to make you forget all about this. By the end of it, you won’t even remember.”
Jiang Cheng stops in his track just to throw him the most disbelieving look he can muster.
“This was the highlight of my year,” Jiang Cheng gives back, “and I’m not counting our wedding here, but this is the most hilarious thing that has happened to me in a long time, and you’re going to have to work so damn hard to make me forget this.”
“Challenge accepted,” Lan Xichen gives back without hesitation and drags Jiang Cheng into a kiss again.
When they part, Lan Xichen is blinking pitifully at Jiang Cheng.
“Now, can we please get that medication, my eyes are killing me,” he whines and Jiang Cheng laughs at him again.
“Sure, you big baby. Let’s get you your meds,” he agrees and they march off.
The doctor didn’t promise them too much, barely an hour after Lan Xichen swallowed the little pill his symptoms recede and they can go back to actually enjoying their honeymoon.
(Lan Xichen does have to work very hard for it, but when Jiang Cheng retells their honeymoon to his family, the allergy incident is not at the top of the list. It barely even makes the top five, and while Jiang Cheng still pretends to be annoyed at that, he loves Lan Xichen and his dedication more than he could ever put into words.)