Work Text:
Beca Mitchell is ten years old when she starts feeling butterflies in her stomach whenever she looks at her best friend.
Chloe Beale is, according to the boys in their class, one of the prettiest girls in the school. Beca would agree with this- all the Disney movies Chloe likes to watch with her have pretty girls in them, and Chloe does remind her of Ariel with her red hair.
Still, Beca doesn’t exactly get all the hype that follows her best friend in the looks department. She’s got curly red hair that Beca knows is hard to brush through in the mornings, bright blue eyes, and a light dusting of freckles across her cheeks. She’s a little shorter than Beca, which is something that Beca boasts proudly about nearly daily, much to Chloe’s chagrin.
It’s not that Chloe is necessarily ugly, Beca thinks. She’s just… she’s just Chloe. Chloe, who Beca has known for three years now. Chloe, who lives down the street from Beca. Chloe, who climbs up trees only to get stuck and not be able to get down. Chloe, who declared herself as Beca’s best friend after only two days of knowing her.
She was just Chloe to Beca.
Until one day when Chloe started to mean a whole lot more than it did before.
Beca’s had a crush before. In fact, Beca’s had three crushes before. There was Charlie Hull in first grade who had brown curly hair and always shared his crayons with Beca. There was Carter Park in third grade who had freckles and always made Beca laugh during lunch. And last year it was Matt Evans with his blue eyes and impressive monkey-bars skills that Beca fell for.
So Beca knows how crushes feel, which is why it confuses her when those familiar butterflies start appearing in her belly when she’s with Chloe.
Chloe is a girl. You don’t get butterflies in your stomach for other girls. Beca is well aware of this fact. No one in their entire class has ever mentioned getting a crush on someone of the same gender, and Beca’s parents had never said anything about it, either.
So it couldn’t be a crush, Beca was convinced. Chloe was her best friend, and Beca just got really excited to see her.
That must be it. Has to be it.
“Would you rather watch Beauty and the Beast or Finding Nemo?”
Beca shakes herself out of where she’d been spacing out and looks at where Chloe is situated in front of the TV, sorting through the assortment of movies at their disposal.
Chloe looks up at her curiously. “Well? Choose one!” she says with a slight giggle.
Beca’s stomach flips at the sound. “Uh, Beauty and the Beast, I guess,” she answers, feeling flustered.
Chloe beams. “I knew you’d pick that one,” she says brightly.
It’s at the point in the movie when Belle and Beast are singing about their feelings for each other that Chloe stops singing along and pouts. “I want to have a crush on someone.”
“What about Ryan?” Beca asks, the name feeling bad on her tongue for some reason. “I thought you liked him.”
Chloe shrugs. “I got over it. I want someone new to like,” she says, sighing forlornly. “Do you like anyone right now?”
You, a small voice in Beca’s mind says, but Beca quickly ignores it and swallows nervously. “Um, I think Tyler is cute,” she lies, keeping her eyes glued to the screen in front of her.
“He is cute!” Chloe agrees animatedly. “You picked a good person to like.”
Beca risks a glance over at Chloe and sees that her attention is still focused intensely on the movie. “Yeah, I really did.”
* * *
Beca is fourteen when she decides to tell Chloe how she feels.
It’s potentially very stupid decision, Beca knows this. But she also knows that she’s completely, totally head-over-heels for her best friend.
She has to tell Chloe. Beca is losing her mind holding all of her feelings inside.
Over the last four years, Beca steadily became more and more sure that the feelings she’s felt for Chloe, the ones she had dismissed so many times, were real. They were real and not going away any time soon. After some extensive research, Beca had discovered that yes, you could, in fact, like someone of the same gender, and no, she wasn’t weird for doing so.
That didn’t mean she had told anyone, though. Beca hadn’t quite figure out how to broach that topic with anyone quite yet.
Still, Beca knows for sure that she likes Chloe, and that she for sure wants to tell her.
Beca comes up with the perfect way to tell her, too. She spends weeks compiling all the songs Chloe loves – their songs, the ones special to them – and puts them all on a CD. On the back of the disk, Beca’s writes "I love you" in her messy scrawl for good measure, even though she’s planning on saying the words out loud as well. It’s a little old-fashioned, but Beca knows that Chloe appreciates it when people put effort into things.
And Beca knows that there’s a chance this will ruin their friendship, which slightly terrifies her. Chloe is her best friend, and Beca really doesn’t know what she’d do without her in her life.
But her feelings outweigh her fear, so Beca has to tell her.
Beca can feel the nerves flipping around in her gut as she walks the short distance to Chloe’s house. She knocks three times on the door when she arrives, clutching her precious disk tightly between her fingers as she waits with bated breath for Chloe to open the door.
The door swings open a few moments later, revealing one Chloe Beale standing in its place, a huge smile already present on her face.
“Beca, I’m so glad you’re here! I was just about to call you!”
Beca’s heart flutters in her chest at the words. “Really? That’s such a coincidence,” she replies, laughing a little nervously.
Chloe’s grin somehow widens and she grabs Beca’s hand, pulling her into the house. “I have big news, Bec. BIG news.”
Beca chuckles amusedly as they make their way up to Chloe’s room. “Another coincidence. So do I.”
“Oh, really?” Chloe asks, raising an eyebrow curiously. She sits down on her bed while Beca remains standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, CD hid behind her back. “Did you want to go first?”
Beca shakes her head quickly. “No, that’s alright, you can go,” she says, gesturing towards Chloe. “You seem more excited about yours.”
The smile returns to Chloe’s face. “Guess who just got asked out,” she says coyly, her obvious excitement threatening to burst free. Beca’s heart stalls in her chest at the words.
“Who?” she asks quietly, already knowing the answer.
“Me!” Chloe squeals, kicking her feet as she giggles. Beca watches her expressing her joy, her own heart steadily sinking lower and lower in her chest.
“Really?”
Chloe nods her head up and down in confirmation. “Yep! And guess who it was!”
“Who?” Beca asks again weakly.
“Tom!” Chloe reveals happily.
“Tom,” Beca repeats sullenly.
“He called earlier- called! He didn’t just text!” Chloe gushes. Beca slumps down in Chloe’s desk chair as she half-pays attention to what Chloe is saying. “He asked if I wanted to go see a movie on Saturday, which of course I said yes to.”
Chloe chatters on animatedly for a few minutes while Beca stares dejectedly at the floor, only offering half-hearted nods every so often.
“Oh! I almost forgot!” Chloe gasps after a while, slapping a hand to her forehead. “You had news, too! What did you want to tell me?”
Beca looks slowly up at Chloe, her heart breaking a little bit more at the way her eyes are bright with excitement. She clutches her CD, hidden by the back of the desk chair, with both of her hands and sighs.
“I just… was going to tell you that I think my family is going to Disneyland this summer.”
Chloe gasps. “That’s so fun!” she gushes, and Beca tries to nod along as if she’s as eager as she should be.
“Yeah, hopefully it will be,” Beca says as enthusiastically as she can, choosing not to mention that her parents’ marriage probably wouldn’t even make it until summer. “Hey, listen-” Beca stands up from the desk chair very suddenly- “I forgot that I need to be home. I’m helping my mom with dinner tonight.”
Chloe deflates a little. “Oh, that’s lame,” she says, pouting.
Beca avoids looking at the disappointment on Chloe’s face. “Yeah, I know. So, uh, I’m just gonna,” Beca doesn’t finish the thought, choosing instead to gesture towards the door before walking to it.
“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Chloe calls from behind her.
Beca doesn’t turn around. She swallows a lump in her throat and tries to muster up a little more gusto in her voice. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”
When Beca gets home, she flings the disk into the corner of her room before throwing herself on her bed, hoping that if she cries soft enough her parents won’t notice the way she skips out on dinner.
* * *
Beca is eighteen and still pathetically in love with Chloe Beale.
But the whole “being in love with your best friend” thing isn’t as terrible as it sounds, really. Beca has learned how to navigate her feelings (aka, push them down and make sure they don’t come back up) throughout the years, so luckily it hasn’t been four years of complete pain.
There were moments, of course. Moments where it would all be too much for her to handle, causing her to fall in a pit of despair and self-loathing. But those were… well should can’t say they were uncommon, but at least they weren’t constant.
Beca had even tried dating other people. She’d dated Jesse Swanson during most of their junior and senior year until they both decided they just worked better as friends. And Beca had almost been able to convince herself she was over Chloe during that time, because Jesse was so nice and sweet and good to her that she let herself believe he could be the one.
She should have known that wasn’t the case. She should have known that Chloe Beale would always have a permanent place in her heart that no one else could reside in.
Graduation was as much a blessing for Beca as it was something she had been dreading.
Graduation for Beca meant moving to LA, were she could start paying her dues and trying to get her life started in the music industry. Graduation meant freedom from her distant mother, who had never been quite the same after Beca’s father left them. Graduation meant starting a new life.
But graduation also meant saying goodbye to Chloe, who was going to school at Barden University. Three time zones, 2,173 miles, and thirty-two hours away from Beca.
So while Beca was trying to have a good time at whatever post-graduation party Chloe had dragged her to, Beca’s heart really just wasn’t in it.
Chloe notices Beca’s not having a good time soon enough, because she always notices when Beca is uncomfortable about something. It’s one of the things Beca loves about her.
“You wanna get some air?” Chloe asks, loud enough to be heard over the music pumping through the room.
Beca only nods and allows Chloe to take her by the hand, pulling her away from the crowd and out the front door of whoever’s house they’re in.
Chloe looks over and smiles at Beca and squeezes her hand, and Beca smiles and squeezes right back. It's in these kinds of moments, the moments where they’re both single and so so incredibly soft and affectionate with one another, that Beca finds herself thinking just how good they would be together. Together as more than just best friends.
They find themselves at a small playground they used to visit a lot as kids, one that Chloe would always drag a grumbly Beca to on early Saturday mornings. Chloe climbs up the structure and sits at the top of the bigger of the two sides, waiting patiently for Beca to get settled beside her.
“There are so many stars tonight,” Chloe observes softly from beside Beca, breaking the serene silence that had fallen over them. Beca glances over at her to see the other girl’s attention trained up at the night sky, the moonlight reflecting beautifully in her blue eyes.
Beca takes the opportunity to study Chloe’s features, figuring that she should do so now while they still have time together. Chloe has only gotten more beautiful with age, Beca thinks. Her baby fat is completely gone (unlike Beca’s, which frustrates her to no end). Her legs seemingly go on for days, which causes Beca to remember the day they discovered that Beca was no longer the taller one in their friendship (which was a tragic day indeed). Chloe's freckles had faded as she got older, but her eyes were still as strikingly blue as the day Beca first met Chloe.
Chloe Beale was devastatingly attractive, so it’s really no wonder that Beca fell for her as hard as she did.
Beca rips her gaze away from Chloe’s face and looks up at the sky as well. True to Chloe’s observation, the black canvas above them is spotted with more stars than Beca could ever hope to count, all of them shining brightly down on the two of them as they sat there on that little slide.
“Do you know any constellations?” Beca asks.
Chloe shakes her head and hums a little. “Not really. I know the Big and Little Dippers, but that’s pretty much it.” Out of the corner of her eye, Beca sees Chloe turn to look at her. “Do you?”
“I know one,” Beca admits. “One my dad used to always point out to me whenever we went camping.” She points at one constellation, and Chloe tries to follow her finger but Beca can tell she fails miserably. Beca laughs and takes Chloe’s hand, leaning in so her head is right next to Chloe’s, and guides their joined hands to point at the correct place in the sky. “That’s Andromeda,” Beca whispers, feeling something between them, but not exactly sure what that something is.
“What’s the story behind it?” Chloe asks just as quietly.
Beca drops her and Chloe’s hands with the intent of pulling away, but Chloe doesn’t let her, intertwining their fingers instead and keeping Beca close. Heat rises slightly in Beca’s cheeks at the action, and she hopes that the dark night around them is enough to hide her face.
If the amused expression Chloe wears as she looks at Beca is anything to go by, Beca would say that it is not.
Beca looks back at the constellation, trying to concentrate despite the fact that Chloe’s started playing with her fingers. “So, uh, Andromeda. Right. Well, basically, there was this Greek hero guy named Perseus that was, like, really great and cool and stuff. Like, he killed Medusa and all that.” Beca shivers as Chloe starts tracing her palm, but keeps her eyes trained above her.
“So one day Perseus was off adventuring or some shit, and he saw this girl chained up to a rock by the ocean. He thought she was hot, so he asked her what she was doing there, and she told him that her name was Andromeda and that she was being sacrificed to a sea monster.”
“Why was she being sacrificed?” Chloe asks. She sounds so concerned that Beca can’t help but chuckle.
“I’m not sure,” Beca tells her. “The Greeks were just crazy, I guess.” That makes Chloe laugh, which encourages Beca to keep going. “So, to make a long story short, Perseus saves Andromeda and then they go and get married and live happily ever after. The end.”
“So eloquent,” Chloe deadpans. Beca glances at her to see a teasing grin on Chloe’s face. Beca rolls her eyes and jostles Chloe’s shoulder with her own.
“Listen, I didn’t sign up for story time here,” Beca says, fake annoyance in her voice. “If you want a good story, you know I’m not the one to ask.”
Chloe giggles and rests her forehead against Beca’s shoulder. Beca smiles at the feeling of the comfortable weight and laces their fingers again.
Beca is still looking down at Chloe when she picks up her head, her face suddenly much closer to Beca’s than it was before.
Chloe’s eyes dart down to Beca’s lips. Beca’s breath hitches.
You’re leaving. She’s leaving. She’s leaving you. You’ll be apart from her soon and probably never see her again.
The voices in Beca’s head stop her from leaning in. Panic fills Beca’s mind and she pulls away from Chloe, taking a deep breath.
“Is everything okay, Bec?” Chloe asks uncertainly, her eyebrows furrowing in concern.
Beca looks over Chloe’s face, her heart aching in her chest as she looks at this girl she’s known for so long. The girl she’s loved for so long.
It’s now or never. If Beca kisses Chloe now, she will finally be able to tell her how she feels. She will finally release the emotions she’s been holding in for so many years.
But Chloe was leaving. Beca was leaving. Their paths were separating whether they liked it or not.
I love you I love you I love you I love you.
Beca smiles. “Never been better. Let’s get back to the party.”
With that, Beca releases Chloe’s hand and slides down the slide, trying to ignore the feeling that she will regret this moment forever.
* * *
Beca Mitchell is twenty-two and hasn’t seen Chloe Beale in four years.
And honestly? She was doing great.
She had a sweet job as a junior producer at a recording studio, her own apartment where she owned two goldfish, and her very own subscription to the gym a few blocks away that she never used.
So, yeah. You could say Beca was thriving as a grown-ass adult.
The little coffee house near Beca’s studio is one of Beca’s favorite places to eat in the entire city. It’s not too pricy, but the coffee is always good and the food was high quality. She was pretty good friends with the owner by now, and he let her sit in the corner of the shop and work on her music all day if she wanted to, making sure her cup stayed filled all the while.
That’s what Beca was doing today, in fact. Headphones covering her ears, head bobbing along to the beat pumping through them as Beca sipped on her drink.
A figure walking in through the door, however, nearly makes Beca spit hot coffee all over her computer screen.
“Chloe?” Beca sputters, pushing at her headphones so that they hang around her neck.
Chloe turns around, surprise evident on her face when she spots Beca sitting in her corner.
“Oh my gosh! Beca!” Chloe squeals, rushing over to her table. Beca stands just in time for Chloe to barrel into her, nearly pushing Beca over with the force of her hug.
Beca wraps her arms tightly around Chloe, completely shocked that this was happening. They hadn’t spoken in so long. It’s not that they stopped being friends, exactly. They just… lost touch. After that night on the playground, Beca had become increasingly more and more distant with Chloe, and when she had left for LA she didn’t look back, too full of regret to try keeping regular contact with Chloe.
And Chloe had been busy with school, so focused on getting her degree and meeting new people that she hadn’t seemed to mind all that much. It was part of growing up. It was fine.
Still, having Chloe here now in her arms made Beca realize just how much she had missed her childhood best friend.
Beca pulls back and holds Chloe out at arm’s length, inspecting her as Chloe did the same. Chloe looked good- annoying good, just like she always did. She looked more grown up than the last Beca had seen her. A little more tan, a little more toned, but still Chloe.
“I didn’t even know you were in LA!” Beca says in amazement, guiding Chloe to sit in the seat across from hers.
“I just moved here three days ago,” Chloe replies with a smile. “I’ve been so busy with unpacking and all that kind of stuff, I was actually going to call you today and tell you.”
Beca smiles, remembering the day she showed up at Chloe’s house and Chloe said something similar. “We’ve always been one for coincidences, huh?”
Chloe laughs, and god, Beca missed that laugh. “We sure have,” Chloe agrees happily.
The rest of the afternoon is spent with Chloe and Beca catching up on one another’s lives. Beca tells Chloe about her job and her fish, and Chloe tells Beca all about her college experience. She learns that Chloe was in an a cappella group, which Beca teases her about, since she thinks it’s pretty lame. Chloe tells her about the friends she made and the people she dated, and Beca only feels a little sad that she’s missed so many parts of Chloe’s life.
Beca is happy for Chloe, she really is. From the sounds of it, Chloe is thriving just as much as Beca is, with a new job lined up and waiting for her here in LA and everything.
And yet… Beca wishes she could have been there. All the things she had convinced herself she didn’t really miss about Chloe are now right here in front of her, and Beca quickly realizes she’s just as helpless towards Chloe’s charm as she was in high school.
The way Chloe tucks her hair behind her ear when she’s nervous or shy about something still makes Beca’s eyes soften. The way she talks about life with such wonder and excitement still makes Beca feel as though she can do anything. The way Chloe bites her lip when her natural flirtation comes out still draws Beca’s eyes like a moth to the flame.
So it really doesn’t take Beca long to feel herself falling in love with Chloe all over again.
It starts getting dark outside before either of them even realize that the time had been slipping away from them. The coffee shop is mostly empty, save for an older man ordering at the counter and a barista sweeping around some tables as they get ready to close.
Chloe seems to realize how late it is at the same time Beca does, looking down at the time on her phone with a gasp. “Oh wow! Is it that late already? I didn’t even realize.”
Beca chuckles and starts putting her things into her bag. “Yeah, me neither. I guess time just really flies by when you’re having fun,” she jokes with a grin.
Chloe rolls her eyes fondly, gathering her own items and slipping on her jacket. “You’re so corny,” she teases. Her features soften a second later. “But I love that about you.”
Beca feels her stupid heart flip in her chest a little. “I think it’s getting worse with age, honestly,” she says light-heartedly.
They exit the coffee shop together, Beca wishing her friend behind the counter a good night on their way out. The sky isn’t completely dark, but the lamp posts lining the street are already lit, casting small circles of light down onto the sidewalk. Beca and Chloe come to a stop underneath one of them.
“I had a really good time tonight, Bec,” Chloe says sincerely, placing a hand on Beca’s arm. Beca gulps and tries to ignore how much those words sound like the end of a date.
“Me too. It was really nice seeing you again,” she replies honestly.
Chloe smiles. “Ditto. Want to do this again sometime?”
Beca feels relief at the words. “Definitely. I’ll text you?”
Chloe nods. “I’ll be waiting by the phone.”
Next comes a hug, and Beca melts into Chloe’s arms, already dreading letting her go again. She’s realized how much of a mistake staying distant from Chloe was, and she’s not about to make it again.
Chloe pulls away and smiles one last time at Beca, biting her lip and tucking her hair behind her ear shyly before turning and walking away. Beca watches her go until she turns the corner and disappears out of sight.
The damn butterflies Beca's felt since she was ten are back, and she doesn’t know if they’ll ever go away this time.
Beca sighs,tearing her eyes away from where Chloe has just disappeared and turns around, dreading going home to her dumb fish now.
“Beca!”
Chloe’s voice makes Beca spin back around faster than she thought was humanly possible. She sees Chloe walking speedily towards her, determination in her eyes.
Beca’s heart flip in her chest again. “Chloe? What’re yo-”
She doesn’t get to finish, because Chloe grabs her by the collar of her jacket and smashes their lips together.
Beca makes a surprised noise, her eyes opening wide in shock for a moment before Beca sinks into the kiss. Her hands come up to cup Chloe’s cheeks while Chloe’s stay clutching her jacket. Beca isn’t completely positive that this isn’t a dream (it wouldn’t be the first time), but for now she chooses not to question anything and enjoys it instead.
When the kiss finally breaks, Beca and Chloe rest their foreheads against each other’s while they pant, trying to steady their breathing. Beca figures that she should probably find out what’s going on, but Chloe beats her to it, taking her breath away all over again.
“I know my timing is terrible, and I know this might ruin any chance I have at ever seeing you again, but I can’t keep this in anymore. I love you, Beca.”
And Beca can only laugh, because of course Chloe feels the same way, and of course she was brave enough to tell Beca when Beca was too afraid to tell Chloe.
“You want to know another coincidence?” Beca asks. Chloe pulls back slightly and looks at Beca curiously. Beca smiles and loops her arms around Chloe’s neck, mentally rolling her eyes at Chloe’s height advantage over her.
Beca’s next words are said under her breath and against Chloe’s lips, right before they connect softly once again. “I love you, too. I always have, and I always will.”
And as they trade kisses under the light from the lamp post on that sidewalk, Beca thinks that all the waiting she's done in her life has finally paid off.