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The problem is, every time Nile thinks she have a handle on what this new life (six thousand years Andy said and Jesus Christ no wonder she’s such a cynic) holds, something happens that completely upends her understanding of how this is supposed to work, dying, Andy showing up, finding Booker, finding out Booker was an shitty little turncoat, staging a rescue mission, all of it, all of it, all of it never really leaving Nile a chance to sit, and to reflect on what exactly is supposed to happen next. And now she’s sitting on a stool in the kitchen of what Andy won’t stop calling “Joe and Nicky’s honeymoon cottage”, chopping vegetables for some complicated thing Nicky’s cooking. He didn’t need help, and she knows it, but turns out you can only sit on the couch and stare at the wall behind the TV so long before Joe takes pity on you and lightly suggests Nicky might like some help in the kitchen. Usually Nile wouldn’t stand for that sort of coddling but the guy was just kidnapped for medical experiments so she figures she can let it slide, for now. Some people are more comforted if they’re doing the comforting.
They work in silence, together, for a long while, and Nile is pretty sure this is way more carrots than anyone would ever need, but Nicky doesn’t stop her. And after a while, a long while, he finally speaks.
“.....It doesn’t have to be terrible, you know.” He says, soft spoken as always.
“....What--” Nile begins, as if she doesn’t already know.
“Living like this. It doesn’t have to be terrible. Booker--had a hard time of things, and he’s only young, yet, and Andy...Andy chooses to be alone, a lot of the time. She says it’s easier, that way. Sometimes she’s right. But sometimes--.....Anyways. It doesn’t have to be terrible. I want you to know that.” Nicky says, and Nile gets the impression that maybe once upon a very long time ago, he had a little sister he vaguely remembers. Nile doesn’t know how she feels about that, so instead she says:
“....Why? Everybody else seems dead set on warning me off something I never asked for and cannot change.” And she didn’t mean for that to sound as bitter as it did.
“.....it was different, for me. And I do know that. I didn’t lose anything I wasn’t trying to lose already, and I found so much more than that.” He says, and Nile can’t quite name the tone in his voice, but it sounds too dark to be wistful.
“....What do you mean?” And she knows they don’t pry, here, but she can’t help but ask. Her fatal flaw she thinks, sometimes, always pushing to know more.
“......I ran from Genoa to join a war in a foreign land I had no personal stake in because I had fallen in love with a young man and that chilled me to my very soul. I had decided to die on my own terms, instead of being punished for something I never asked for and could not change.” And he pauses there, at the echo of Nile’s words, looks up from the pot he’s stirring. She nods her recognition, and he continues. “And then I did die. And got back up. And there was Joe. And I won’t pretend we didn’t spend about three days trying to kill each other before we realized it wouldn’t take, or that it didn’t take a while to be able to have a proper conversation, but after a while, when we finally knew each other; I think we both realized, here was a love we could have without fear, without pain, without consequence. And that was a high I still have not fully come down from.” And at that he returns to his cooking, letting that idea wash over Nile.
“....No offense, but it’s not exactly the same situation.” Nile says. Big romantic gestures make her twitchy; as much as she has to admit the idea is immensely appealing. Nicky grins down at his pot.
“You are just like her, you know.” He says, no small affection in his voice.
“What--like Andy?” She wants to argue, but she knows it’s true. She can’t decide if she hates it or likes it far too much for comfort.
“Just like her. Though….maybe a touch more hopeful.” And now Nile would almost swear he’s teasing. “I’m just saying. I think you two should stick together, at least for a while. Maybe we’ll all be surprised.” Nile hears the implication in his voice and chooses to ignore it for now. As much as she’d like to entertain it--no sense in getting her hopes up now.
“.....This is nice. Maybe we can all stay together, for a bit. I know, I know, dangers of discovery and blah blah blah--” And she stops short, remembering what exactly they had just rescued him from.
“No. You’re right. Nobody wants to be alone right now. Nor should we.” And a little bit of tension Nile was pretending she wasn’t carrying slips out of her shoulders.
“....Hey Nicky?”
“Yeah?”
“....Thanks.” And she means it. She really means it. Having to run off from her entire life is one thing, and it’s a big, awful thing that she still isn’t sure she can manage. But if she can have this, if she can have this sort of family, no matter how dysfunctional and battle scarred, maybe she’ll be okay. Maybe if they’re not alone, it could all be worth it.
“No problem kid. Want to learn how to make my dumplings? They’re Andy’s favorite, even if she won’t admit it.” Nicky says, knowing when to turn the tide of conversation to safer waters.
“...Sounds good to me.” Nile says, and smiles without a gun in her hand for the first time in a week, feeling a certain kind of not-quite-peace.